Nattan: I also have the same thoughts though I have a younger sister. When I was young, my mom would just put the both of us together to play while she takes a nap after a long day of work. If its just 1 kid, definitely you need to give the kid that attention. Now that me and my sis are both working. Both of us contribute to our parent's allowance, so its like 1 person supporting 1 parent. Not so tough.
(2012/06) Jun 2012
- Thread starter bluesapphire
- Start date
fleurfleur
Member
Cindy: we are carrying extra load! Don't feel bad about pampering yourself. After you give birth you might not have the tIme or luxury
Enjoy your mani pedi and massage !!!
Enjoy your mani pedi and massage !!!
Jul
Congrats on the bonus!
Such a relief to get a lump sum of money right? I was also happy to see my bonus in my account this mth. After one whole year of hard work.
Think men in general not open to going for an op. they would rather us women close shop. They dont like the idea of firing blanks. Hahhaha Ego issue.
Anna
I'm in the same position as you. Same age. I never thought of having kids until last year and once we started to conceive we were lucky. I was worried being an old mother. My hub is younger than me and he keeps asking me can we manage our expenses. I have to constantly assure him that we can as long as we spend within our means.
Petrina
Are u applying for a new flat? Not easy staying with in laws or parents hor.
Kadice/ Nattan
It's common for many diff lunch groups. I lunch alot alone. Like to Tabao back and surf net relax. Then start work earlier so that I can go back earlier hopefully
I do lunch with my closer kakis at work on and off but not daily. Need a break sometimes
Congrats on the bonus!
Think men in general not open to going for an op. they would rather us women close shop. They dont like the idea of firing blanks. Hahhaha Ego issue.
Anna
I'm in the same position as you. Same age. I never thought of having kids until last year and once we started to conceive we were lucky. I was worried being an old mother. My hub is younger than me and he keeps asking me can we manage our expenses. I have to constantly assure him that we can as long as we spend within our means.
Petrina
Are u applying for a new flat? Not easy staying with in laws or parents hor.
Kadice/ Nattan
It's common for many diff lunch groups. I lunch alot alone. Like to Tabao back and surf net relax. Then start work earlier so that I can go back earlier hopefully
I do lunch with my closer kakis at work on and off but not daily. Need a break sometimes
annatequila
New Member
Nattan, I know exactly where you are coming from. That's why both hub and I have decided not to have kids at all when we bought our pricey apptmt last year. This bb is an accident but I finds that it's god gift to us. I do hope that I can change his mind....though he did mention before, he dun expect the kid to take care of us when we grow old. He/she dun take money from us when they grow up is a blessing already. (^_^")
Asrias, Anna, it's not just about supporting parents, but when a parent or both parents grow old and become sickly... the single child will definitely find it very tough. Like my mum who has kidney failure. So far, my parents have not asked me for money cos they're both financially able to take care of themselves. But who knows what may happen in the future?
Anna, your hubby may say don't need the child to support now, cos you're both still young and able. But his thinking may change when you're both much older la...
Anna, your hubby may say don't need the child to support now, cos you're both still young and able. But his thinking may change when you're both much older la...
prettibride
Member
wow, must be really thrilled to get bonus this month. especially after spending so much on baby's stuff.
anna, i am sure your hubby will change his mind after baby comes out..who can resist a cute & chubby baby. i am already sure i'll miss the cute little flutters and kicks once baby is born. miss this time when he can be with me 24 x 7.
i will rather lunch alone then lunch with pple i can't click with too..only prob is over here nobody lunch outside the office. And our pantry is not well equipped, no microwave, no fridge. so i hv to make do with lukewarm or sometimes cold food from home if i'm lazy to go out.
anna, i am sure your hubby will change his mind after baby comes out..who can resist a cute & chubby baby. i am already sure i'll miss the cute little flutters and kicks once baby is born. miss this time when he can be with me 24 x 7.
i will rather lunch alone then lunch with pple i can't click with too..only prob is over here nobody lunch outside the office. And our pantry is not well equipped, no microwave, no fridge. so i hv to make do with lukewarm or sometimes cold food from home if i'm lazy to go out.
prettibride
Member
both me and hubby come from a single child family, we definitely dun wan our child to go through what we've been through..so will start trying for #2 once things are more settled with #1.
besides the financial burden, the loneliness of growing up alone is quite sad too.
besides the financial burden, the loneliness of growing up alone is quite sad too.
annatequila
New Member
Nattan, how I wish I can add him here and you gals help me to change his mind ya....hahaha.
He is one tough nut to crack. Can you imagine his parents, siblings been nagging him for so many years to have a kid but he just keep saying no and brushed them away. So I'm so glad to have this accident or my saying, a god's gift.
He is one tough nut to crack. Can you imagine his parents, siblings been nagging him for so many years to have a kid but he just keep saying no and brushed them away. So I'm so glad to have this accident or my saying, a god's gift.
annatequila
New Member
Prettibride, I also hope he won't be able to resist and will agree to have another one. Me too, I'm pretty sure I will miss the cute little flutters and kicks with me 24/7.
gdmaimai
Member
<font color="aa00aa">For first-time parents-to-be, just to share:
We've always wanted 2 kids as one is too really too lonely and both of us are his only playmates at home. So, it can be quite tired for us, esp. at night. Of course, after giving birth, you may think "1 is enough" but after sometime, you may start to plan for another one.
We feel that, if we do have another one, it means 老天爷 think that we'll be able to handle the new addition. Of course, there will definitely be more adjustment to our lifestyle (maybe have to be more thrifty, limit unnecessary expenses, not eating at restaurants, etc.) but it's worth it.</font>
We've always wanted 2 kids as one is too really too lonely and both of us are his only playmates at home. So, it can be quite tired for us, esp. at night. Of course, after giving birth, you may think "1 is enough" but after sometime, you may start to plan for another one.
We feel that, if we do have another one, it means 老天爷 think that we'll be able to handle the new addition. Of course, there will definitely be more adjustment to our lifestyle (maybe have to be more thrifty, limit unnecessary expenses, not eating at restaurants, etc.) but it's worth it.</font>
I do agree that single kid is really lonely considering that my hub n I both have siblings. But at the end of the day, it's a very personal decision. I have a friend who has been trying for many years to conceive and she finally got her wish and had her first child at 37. However, she seems to be having a tough time and keeps complaining abt her baby. Does not seem happy. She keep telling me she hated her entire pregnancy and now, the caring of baby part is not what she expected. I always feel very depressed after talking to her.
For those having their no 2 or no 3, what's your age now?
For those having their no 2 or no 3, what's your age now?
Nattan
I have no idea but she has been trying for at least 5-6 years and even went for IVF but wasn't successful. Perhaps her hubby is not the demonstrative n supportive enough for her and she has high expectations. She had quit her job when she knew she was expecting cos she wanted to make sure the pregnancy goes well. Maybe she's just not cut out to be a SAHM.
I have no idea but she has been trying for at least 5-6 years and even went for IVF but wasn't successful. Perhaps her hubby is not the demonstrative n supportive enough for her and she has high expectations. She had quit her job when she knew she was expecting cos she wanted to make sure the pregnancy goes well. Maybe she's just not cut out to be a SAHM.
HOW MANY KIDS
Hmm... I was also caught in these dilemmas. First it took me a long time - 5+ yrs after marriage to decide i wanted a baby. N that was after losing one early. It was an accident but it kinda kickstarted the instinct. In fact hubs was ok with no kids.
Then i had my #1 - not accident - n i was so tired all tye time. N he was so active, challenging, tiring that i din dare think of another for a looong time.
Then after some time passed, i thought he was quite pitiful being alone. I could see his excitement when his much older gal cousins came to play. It became like us parents din exist. N i thought maybe i shd give him a sibling. But hubs was very against it coz of childcare prob, tired, mainly. I was worried abt finance.
After that, it was an accident n another mc. I convinced hubs to consider #2. so hubs went to talk to ILs who dropped the bombshell that they aren't able to handle 2, yet not willing to handle a maid. So i thought ok that's it. One child policy.
Who knows another accident came along. Since this is another gift, i believe he'll provide for me. Not just finance but also the energy, patience, willpower, wisdom etc to have 2 kids. I've learned not to think sooo much. Not that i advocate indiscriminately having kids when parents are obviously unable to provide. But if it's letting go of luxuries like hols, or pte apts, or branded schs, then it can be done
My personal experience lah. May not apply to all hehe. Oh btw i'll be 34 in nov. Not ah mah yet but not young either
Hmm... I was also caught in these dilemmas. First it took me a long time - 5+ yrs after marriage to decide i wanted a baby. N that was after losing one early. It was an accident but it kinda kickstarted the instinct. In fact hubs was ok with no kids.
Then i had my #1 - not accident - n i was so tired all tye time. N he was so active, challenging, tiring that i din dare think of another for a looong time.
Then after some time passed, i thought he was quite pitiful being alone. I could see his excitement when his much older gal cousins came to play. It became like us parents din exist. N i thought maybe i shd give him a sibling. But hubs was very against it coz of childcare prob, tired, mainly. I was worried abt finance.
After that, it was an accident n another mc. I convinced hubs to consider #2. so hubs went to talk to ILs who dropped the bombshell that they aren't able to handle 2, yet not willing to handle a maid. So i thought ok that's it. One child policy.
Who knows another accident came along. Since this is another gift, i believe he'll provide for me. Not just finance but also the energy, patience, willpower, wisdom etc to have 2 kids. I've learned not to think sooo much. Not that i advocate indiscriminately having kids when parents are obviously unable to provide. But if it's letting go of luxuries like hols, or pte apts, or branded schs, then it can be done
My personal experience lah. May not apply to all hehe. Oh btw i'll be 34 in nov. Not ah mah yet but not young either
Smilezz
Maybe ur fren did not expect preg n raising a child to be like this.
Myself... Had a culture shock when #1 came out too. All my preconceived ideas went out the window. Of course depends on the child. Some r really v easy to care for, others r v challenging. Just go with the flow n chill when things dun happen like in bks. Be flexible.
Oh n maybe ur fren was too used to the free n easy lifestyle. After all she was 37? A lot of sacrifice n lifestyle changes when u have kids
Maybe ur fren did not expect preg n raising a child to be like this.
Myself... Had a culture shock when #1 came out too. All my preconceived ideas went out the window. Of course depends on the child. Some r really v easy to care for, others r v challenging. Just go with the flow n chill when things dun happen like in bks. Be flexible.
Oh n maybe ur fren was too used to the free n easy lifestyle. After all she was 37? A lot of sacrifice n lifestyle changes when u have kids
ssmilezz, true that some people just cannot stay at home and can get frustrated easily dealing with the needs and demands of a baby.
Jul, you've come a long way, so surely you have more wisdom and strength to bring up a 2nd child now. Be glad that you had your first at a younger age. I'm older and am just having my first now. It took me 10yrs to come to this decision so 5yrs is really not so long!
I believe every kid is different so no one-size-fits-all formula. We just got to adapt and hope for the best. Lifestyle changes are inevitable, which is one of those things that one needs to be mentally prepared for. But I don't think it's as bad as we tend to imagine.
Jul, you've come a long way, so surely you have more wisdom and strength to bring up a 2nd child now. Be glad that you had your first at a younger age. I'm older and am just having my first now. It took me 10yrs to come to this decision so 5yrs is really not so long!
I believe every kid is different so no one-size-fits-all formula. We just got to adapt and hope for the best. Lifestyle changes are inevitable, which is one of those things that one needs to be mentally prepared for. But I don't think it's as bad as we tend to imagine.
annatequila
New Member
Gmarket having pampers offers now till tomorrow morning 7am. NB 24pcs selling at $3.30 per pack with free shipping as what my friend has just told me. Hurry up to purchase. I'm going to buy now...ciao!!
Hi Adeline,
Can pm me Ur tcm massage at Neil road?or email [email protected]
Teachers dun have annual leave only school holidays which mostly are taken for meetings,workshops and remedials
Can pm me Ur tcm massage at Neil road?or email [email protected]
Teachers dun have annual leave only school holidays which mostly are taken for meetings,workshops and remedials
annatequila
New Member
Nattan, no problem. Wonder how many of you are still up to receive my msg though. Trying my luck.
I have bought 8 packs in total. Think should be enough bah....anyway it's real cheap....only $ 26 for 8 packs. Haha...
I have bought 8 packs in total. Think should be enough bah....anyway it's real cheap....only $ 26 for 8 packs. Haha...
Nattan
Guess some pple dun have realistic expectations. I've met some who expected their lives to stay the same even after kids. N these are the ones who are the most frustrated n regretful after having kids. On the whole, i believe that age does lend more
Maturity n hence makes us mote able to deal with the changes. Of course there are exceptions!
Guess some pple dun have realistic expectations. I've met some who expected their lives to stay the same even after kids. N these are the ones who are the most frustrated n regretful after having kids. On the whole, i believe that age does lend more
Maturity n hence makes us mote able to deal with the changes. Of course there are exceptions!
Jul / Nattan
I definately agree with what you guys say. Personally, I have been married for 5 years before deciding we wanted or rather I wanted ( hub needed some convincing) kids. My ILs were aldy resigned to the fact that we would never have kids so when we told them, they were really happy for us. I rem telling them abt the little one on Xmas eve last year. We thought that would be the best Xmas gift or news for them.
Managing of expectations is tough esp when u see other parents bringing up their kids so effortlessly. U can't help but ask what u are doing wrongly or differently. But end of the day, it all boils down to the child's character.
Having friends or an outlet to share your worries and frustration certainly will help. Else can really end up with depression.
Since we are in this, let's just learn to enjoy the ride! What will be will be.
Anna
Alamak, I was so shag I didn't log on last night. Missed the offer. No longer available?
I definately agree with what you guys say. Personally, I have been married for 5 years before deciding we wanted or rather I wanted ( hub needed some convincing) kids. My ILs were aldy resigned to the fact that we would never have kids so when we told them, they were really happy for us. I rem telling them abt the little one on Xmas eve last year. We thought that would be the best Xmas gift or news for them.
Managing of expectations is tough esp when u see other parents bringing up their kids so effortlessly. U can't help but ask what u are doing wrongly or differently. But end of the day, it all boils down to the child's character.
Having friends or an outlet to share your worries and frustration certainly will help. Else can really end up with depression.
Since we are in this, let's just learn to enjoy the ride! What will be will be.
Anna
Alamak, I was so shag I didn't log on last night. Missed the offer. No longer available?
ssimilezz, think still have some discount but not the same as last night's. Now is $8.80 per pack. http://list.gmarket.com.sg/gmkt.inc/Goods/Goods.aspx?goodscode=405131115&flowpath_page_no=183
I bought 6 packs of NB size for $19.80!
Hope they deliver everything correctly. This is the first time I'm using Gmarket.
I bought 6 packs of NB size for $19.80!
I didnt buy the pampers, there is some delivery charges, so it is still cheaper huh? Miss the deal already
Jul: What orange drink? How come cannot eat after that? Btw, I hate to eat iron tablets. Since day one, I always have the feeling of wanting to puke after swallowing it, some days I dun even eat it. But I think nobody faces this problem. Doctor advised me to swallow with food/drinks, then slightly better. Yucks!
Jul: What orange drink? How come cannot eat after that? Btw, I hate to eat iron tablets. Since day one, I always have the feeling of wanting to puke after swallowing it, some days I dun even eat it. But I think nobody faces this problem. Doctor advised me to swallow with food/drinks, then slightly better. Yucks!
groovy2009
Active Member
Argh!! I missed the pampers deal. Regretting never go into forum last night!
I'm only 27 in August and expecting my 2nd child.. This time around is an accident :$.
My #1 will be 2 years old in September this year.
But in fact I always wanted to have more than 1 kids, planning for next year baby but who knows God has bring forward the plan.
Since both our kids are girls, we plan for #3 of course, but not in a few years hopefully!
I feel happy to have 2 girls though. I found when we're older, they will be more caring.
Of course you can expect to get a good daughter in-law. But your son might not know what you likes because he never pay attention. Your daughter-in-law also don't know because she might not know you enough. (especially if not staying together)
But sure, if you have girl, she'll know more what you like, what color you like, what type of clothes you like, what kind of food you like etc..
I feel I'm not a good daughter-in-law as I don't know what my PIL like/dislikes and if I asked hubby he also doesn't know.
I'm only 27 in August and expecting my 2nd child.. This time around is an accident :$.
My #1 will be 2 years old in September this year.
But in fact I always wanted to have more than 1 kids, planning for next year baby but who knows God has bring forward the plan.
Since both our kids are girls, we plan for #3 of course, but not in a few years hopefully!
I feel happy to have 2 girls though. I found when we're older, they will be more caring.
Of course you can expect to get a good daughter in-law. But your son might not know what you likes because he never pay attention. Your daughter-in-law also don't know because she might not know you enough. (especially if not staying together)
But sure, if you have girl, she'll know more what you like, what color you like, what type of clothes you like, what kind of food you like etc..
I feel I'm not a good daughter-in-law as I don't know what my PIL like/dislikes and if I asked hubby he also doesn't know.
groovy2009
Active Member
Jul, my drink is transparent last time.. Then I vomited almost all of them when I reach home while waiting for the 2 hours!
Called the clinic luckily they never said I need to retake the drinks. Haha..
Called the clinic luckily they never said I need to retake the drinks. Haha..
fleurfleur
Member
yay!!! Its friday!!!
I just realised how i calculated my weeks abit wrong. Actually i am now entering into my 27th week and finished my 26th week. Past 2 nights the ZzzzZ monster hit me very early and after having 8.5-9 hours of sleep i am still stone now!
ssmilezz: Sometimes it all boils down to the parents vs the child's personality. The honest parents will share the trials they have but some will tell you its no big deal and not share at all. So i appreciate friends who give me advice so that i can take note of
prettibride: Do you need the vouvher? I found it for u
I just realised how i calculated my weeks abit wrong. Actually i am now entering into my 27th week and finished my 26th week. Past 2 nights the ZzzzZ monster hit me very early and after having 8.5-9 hours of sleep i am still stone now!
ssmilezz: Sometimes it all boils down to the parents vs the child's personality. The honest parents will share the trials they have but some will tell you its no big deal and not share at all. So i appreciate friends who give me advice so that i can take note of
prettibride: Do you need the vouvher? I found it for u
groovy2009
Active Member
Jul, for me I can still drink plain water.
Maybe you can ask your gynea?
Luckily I was detected normal, no diabetes. hehe
Planning to have my last sip (in 3 mths) of Icy Cold Bubble Tea as this is my last trimester. (actually I'm 28 weeks starting yesterday).
My mom always told me last trimester don't eat ice cream, syrup, and COLD DRINKS with ICE afraid if baby getting too big and difficult to come out.
Hopefully I can tahan and can just replace those drinks with fruit juice..
Maybe you can ask your gynea?
Luckily I was detected normal, no diabetes. hehe
Planning to have my last sip (in 3 mths) of Icy Cold Bubble Tea as this is my last trimester. (actually I'm 28 weeks starting yesterday).
My mom always told me last trimester don't eat ice cream, syrup, and COLD DRINKS with ICE afraid if baby getting too big and difficult to come out.
Hopefully I can tahan and can just replace those drinks with fruit juice..
Jul
Is it a must to take the test? Yucks the drink sounds very gross leh. Hope u pass the test with flying colors!
Nattan
Yup! Must keep my eyes and ears open for the next deal.
So glad it's Friday! Yay!
Groovy
So young! Young mama!
. I come from a family with 3 girls and my sisters and I are all very close. Share a lot of things even though our personality very diff. Hehe
Dont say daughter in law. I think I'm not a good daughter. Just not close with my mom. Hard to share emotional stuffs with her. I was taken care by my granny (mom's mom) so much closer to her. I know my mom loves us but she's just not as demonstrative whether by words or actions as compared to my MIL who is the other extreme end. That's why I hope next time I'll be able to share my love and emotions more openly with my daughter.
Is it a must to take the test? Yucks the drink sounds very gross leh. Hope u pass the test with flying colors!
Nattan
Yup! Must keep my eyes and ears open for the next deal.
So glad it's Friday! Yay!
Groovy
So young! Young mama!
Dont say daughter in law. I think I'm not a good daughter. Just not close with my mom. Hard to share emotional stuffs with her. I was taken care by my granny (mom's mom) so much closer to her. I know my mom loves us but she's just not as demonstrative whether by words or actions as compared to my MIL who is the other extreme end. That's why I hope next time I'll be able to share my love and emotions more openly with my daughter.
annatequila
New Member
Ssmilezz, Kadice, Groovy,
I just logged into Gmarket. They are still having some offer now but no longer $3.30 per pack. It will be $4.30 per pack....buy at least 6 packs will cost you $25.80 only plus free shipping. If you want, can still buy now. It's still cheap, considering $ 0.18 per pc without having to handcarry yourself.
I just logged into Gmarket. They are still having some offer now but no longer $3.30 per pack. It will be $4.30 per pack....buy at least 6 packs will cost you $25.80 only plus free shipping. If you want, can still buy now. It's still cheap, considering $ 0.18 per pc without having to handcarry yourself.
annatequila
New Member
Oh btw they are having offer on flipflops at $42.90 each now.
Jul, how come need to do the GD test? Your blood pressure is high?
Groovy, fruit juice has a lot of sugar also. Better drink less.. plain water is the best.
ssmilezz, same here.. not a good daughter or DIL. I guess people of our parents' generation are just not demonstrative of their love. I was also taken care of by my paternal grandma. My hubby and I also vow to show our kids love more openly
Groovy, fruit juice has a lot of sugar also. Better drink less.. plain water is the best.
ssmilezz, same here.. not a good daughter or DIL. I guess people of our parents' generation are just not demonstrative of their love. I was also taken care of by my paternal grandma. My hubby and I also vow to show our kids love more openly
groovy2009
Active Member
Nattan, Fresh Fruit Juices lah! Hehe.. not the fruit juice from carton box. I very rarely bought those from carton box
Fresh Fruit Juices is good
. Just don't forget to ask for no sugar and no ice/ less ice!
Last time #1 is 2.78 kg when born at 37 weeks. Then my mum already said see, if you eat much more sweets can't imagine if 40 weeks plus. Hahaha..
Fresh Fruit Juices is good
Last time #1 is 2.78 kg when born at 37 weeks. Then my mum already said see, if you eat much more sweets can't imagine if 40 weeks plus. Hahaha..
groovy2009
Active Member
annatequila, which links in gmarket? The one Nattan provided is $8.80 already :S..
groovy2009
Active Member
woops.. just realized the below shown $4.30.. Got to buy now. hehe