(2010/07) July 2010 MTB
- Thread starter crystal~07
- Start date
Ann: More mahjong cakes design here: http://ovencreations.blogspot.com/search/label/Design-Mahjong =)
Carol: Oh, no worries. I will check Toysrus this weekend. Don't cancel your SL shoot altogether, perhaps, reschedule it if you cannot make it this Friday. I also get pissed off when hubby works OT & travels too much, but for his own career development, i try to be understanding. I will always remind him and sometimes make him feel guilty (so bad lar me) that he is missing out a lot on bb's development and once this stage passes, can never rewind back. He is also sian lar and wants to change job - career/money vs family need to balance...but he travel so much, where got time to look for another job? *sigh*
Carol: Oh, no worries. I will check Toysrus this weekend. Don't cancel your SL shoot altogether, perhaps, reschedule it if you cannot make it this Friday. I also get pissed off when hubby works OT & travels too much, but for his own career development, i try to be understanding. I will always remind him and sometimes make him feel guilty (so bad lar me) that he is missing out a lot on bb's development and once this stage passes, can never rewind back. He is also sian lar and wants to change job - career/money vs family need to balance...but he travel so much, where got time to look for another job? *sigh*
Irene, is it? wad i got was the other way round. I emailed cupcake divinity & they said no figurines provided. then i called with PG and the person said she can give about 10 figurines! when i confirmed my order, i also emailed a 2nd time to ask and they told me yes.. (so got black & white haha) also PG cakes are cheaper, so im quite worried they fail to deliver what i want on the actual day! are u also taking 2-tiered cake?
Ann, the mahjong cake looks good! i'm hungry so every food pic looks good to me. hehehe
Carol, 99% of Asian men are like that, so don't take it to heart. it's their way of showing that they care for the family - by working hard so that their families can have comfortable lives. My hubby has been working weekends since after CNY and comes home late, usually around 11pm. And this morning, he told me he's under a lot of stress. So if i can handle baby alone and doesn't need him, i'll do it lor. over the weekend, he agreed to go with me for Kindermusik trial class but when we were about to set off, he said he was too tired. I could see exhaustion written all over his face, so i just let it be and drove baby to Tanglin Mall all by myself.
Carol, 99% of Asian men are like that, so don't take it to heart. it's their way of showing that they care for the family - by working hard so that their families can have comfortable lives. My hubby has been working weekends since after CNY and comes home late, usually around 11pm. And this morning, he told me he's under a lot of stress. So if i can handle baby alone and doesn't need him, i'll do it lor. over the weekend, he agreed to go with me for Kindermusik trial class but when we were about to set off, he said he was too tired. I could see exhaustion written all over his face, so i just let it be and drove baby to Tanglin Mall all by myself.
starmiffmel
New Member
Eliss,
both - support on our back and baby too.
mine is this version, its so called the improved version. i forgot mine is what colour, but its one of them. hahaahaha old brain.
http://singapore.gumtree.sg/c-Stuff-for-Sale-clothes-accessories-baby-Lightweight-Hanamuguri-Baby-Carriers-W0QQAdIdZ199515255
both - support on our back and baby too.
mine is this version, its so called the improved version. i forgot mine is what colour, but its one of them. hahaahaha old brain.
http://singapore.gumtree.sg/c-Stuff-for-Sale-clothes-accessories-baby-Lightweight-Hanamuguri-Baby-Carriers-W0QQAdIdZ199515255
Eliss, i find the HANAMUGURI X-carrier more suitable for tall pple / long upper body (dunno y since it's Jap brand), coz the straps are quite long, that's why the lady at the shop also recommended I get another brand instead. Bot Pupsik carrier eventually.
Flu season should be over by end April 2011, can't wait for that to pass!
Flu season should be over by end April 2011, can't wait for that to pass!
flu season
I just survived hubby and #1 and Mil had flu and cough. Then #1 came down with stomach flu and had diarrhoea and kept vomiting out his foods.
Just that I thought I've finally survived it all...
Guess what? Now #2 starts vomiting out his feeds! And I start having body ache, headache and feverish all over!
SHOOOO u VIRUS. Go away lah!
I just survived hubby and #1 and Mil had flu and cough. Then #1 came down with stomach flu and had diarrhoea and kept vomiting out his foods.
Just that I thought I've finally survived it all...
Guess what? Now #2 starts vomiting out his feeds! And I start having body ache, headache and feverish all over!
SHOOOO u VIRUS. Go away lah!
Ya carol, agree with ica. Dun brood over it as men feel that their responsibility is to make more $ to support the family. My hubby till now, is nt very involved in taking care of bb since she was born. He has nv bathed her and I dun think he changed her diaper more than 10 times so far. Everytime, he will be busy with work & even at home he will be on his laptop. Only help me with bb when I need to bathe or cook etc. Household chores also I do. So imagine after doing all the housework and only sitting down for a rest, he will pass me bb back in less than 10min & go back to his work..
My hub is unlike all ur hubbies, he has nv done the night duty. I did everything myself since my gal was born. Last time, he said cos I was BFing, so bb cry at nite he can't help. But now he tell me my bb rejects him cos she only want me to put her to bed. Which is true la, but also becos he nv take care of her much so bb doesn't want him ma.
My hubby can only prove himself at work, he has really worked hard and shown some results. In a gd way, hhe can provide more to the family but his workload thus increased & he has to travel to work frequently now. I'm really sian also but wad to do.. Try to occupy myself with activities once in a while or stay over at my mum's. At least got some company..
Hugs.. We are strong mummies!
My hub is unlike all ur hubbies, he has nv done the night duty. I did everything myself since my gal was born. Last time, he said cos I was BFing, so bb cry at nite he can't help. But now he tell me my bb rejects him cos she only want me to put her to bed. Which is true la, but also becos he nv take care of her much so bb doesn't want him ma.
My hubby can only prove himself at work, he has really worked hard and shown some results. In a gd way, hhe can provide more to the family but his workload thus increased & he has to travel to work frequently now. I'm really sian also but wad to do.. Try to occupy myself with activities once in a while or stay over at my mum's. At least got some company..
Hugs.. We are strong mummies!
charliebrown
Member
Sweetkiss: my hubby is similar to yours in a few ways- never bathe bb b4 (he said wait till bb is a toddler), likes to switch on laptop to surf net, play facebook, etc. Never help much cos he said since I am a SAHM, I should be able to cope and do all things and he don't want to interfere in caring for bb (crap la). Haiz, other things like his work or what, I better don't start to rant, if not really never ending.
ica: how was kindermusik? can review?
ica: how was kindermusik? can review?
wahhh Ann: the mahjong cake is very nice.. from where ? is it exp? i think my mum would love it too.. shi san yao!! haha
carol: its ok to vent here we do it all the time :>
IMHO try not to think about going back hometown alone.. thou hubby is busy but at least u get to see each other everyday.. actually quite a few of our hubbies here are busy with work too. think they also hope to earn more $$ to give us a better life. ya think positive.. try to steal some time to watch a movie or have a nice dinner ;p
SL: Most prob I am taking my photos in may although bb may be too old to take those classic photos but that is the only time we can slot in for now. Dun transfer your Ps la. try to go for it.. sometimes even if u dont get the nice pics u want u will still get to enjoy the PS session.. the two hours of PS. laughing away with bb and hubby. Else u call up SL and see if u can change your Ps to the studio play which is for bb who are 15mth and above
carol: its ok to vent here we do it all the time :>
IMHO try not to think about going back hometown alone.. thou hubby is busy but at least u get to see each other everyday.. actually quite a few of our hubbies here are busy with work too. think they also hope to earn more $$ to give us a better life. ya think positive.. try to steal some time to watch a movie or have a nice dinner ;p
SL: Most prob I am taking my photos in may although bb may be too old to take those classic photos but that is the only time we can slot in for now. Dun transfer your Ps la. try to go for it.. sometimes even if u dont get the nice pics u want u will still get to enjoy the PS session.. the two hours of PS. laughing away with bb and hubby. Else u call up SL and see if u can change your Ps to the studio play which is for bb who are 15mth and above
btw, mummies who are going for the birthday bash.. think we should start deciding on a theme for our bash?? pooh tigger, emo, disney?? suggestions??
ica: do u have the list of the mummies attending? can PM me please. Mummies, Me and Irene are starting on the customized clothings.. we will go for tees. If u prefer rompers please let us know. So far we have 1 request for romper and we will try to see if we can fit in the rompers
thanks
ica: do u have the list of the mummies attending? can PM me please. Mummies, Me and Irene are starting on the customized clothings.. we will go for tees. If u prefer rompers please let us know. So far we have 1 request for romper and we will try to see if we can fit in the rompers
thanks
Carol: You’re not alone. Think +ve ya
CB: IMHO, it’s more suitable for older babies/toddlers as there are concepts such as sharing. But H did enjoy herself despite not napping before the class which she was supposed to. There was this part where the adults held the edges of a tent and pulled it up, down in unison and the babies/toddlers were supposed to go under the tent towards the centre or at least look towards the centre of the tent. calming music was played at the same time. Instead of crawling to the centre, H crawled out of the circle to the back, towards where the stacked chairs were. She found them more interesting. Ahahaha!
Geri: I'll email the list to the email account that you registered ya
my mom just called to report that my baby's teeth have erupted. yay! no wonder she was crying like mad at 1am. and i was thinking of buying teething gel [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]
CB: IMHO, it’s more suitable for older babies/toddlers as there are concepts such as sharing. But H did enjoy herself despite not napping before the class which she was supposed to. There was this part where the adults held the edges of a tent and pulled it up, down in unison and the babies/toddlers were supposed to go under the tent towards the centre or at least look towards the centre of the tent. calming music was played at the same time. Instead of crawling to the centre, H crawled out of the circle to the back, towards where the stacked chairs were. She found them more interesting. Ahahaha!
Geri: I'll email the list to the email account that you registered ya
my mom just called to report that my baby's teeth have erupted. yay! no wonder she was crying like mad at 1am. and i was thinking of buying teething gel [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]
Eliss, i'm using the Hanamugari carrier and still using it on my 10.5kg 8 month old baby..though it's a little taxing on the mommy cos over a period like half hour of carrying, i get a little backache...hahaha!
thus, i alternate btwn the carrier and stroller..i put my baby facing front or back...but i prefer with baby facing me cos he drools alot..sometimes when he faced out, my feet can be wet!!! kekekee
anyway, there is now the adjustable version which i got..i'm only 1.55m tall and has no issues using it..thought this is a good buy la..think i bought it at $18.90 and it's quite compact in size. so can bring out anytime!
just my 2 cents worth!
thus, i alternate btwn the carrier and stroller..i put my baby facing front or back...but i prefer with baby facing me cos he drools alot..sometimes when he faced out, my feet can be wet!!! kekekee
anyway, there is now the adjustable version which i got..i'm only 1.55m tall and has no issues using it..thought this is a good buy la..think i bought it at $18.90 and it's quite compact in size. so can bring out anytime!
just my 2 cents worth!
Hi mommies,
Thanks for all the encouragement..I feel better now after reading the thread..
actually ytd after he ot, he still cleaned up the house, mop the floor, cleaned up the wall etc cos our bb is coming 2moro..
every weekend he is the one who bath for baby, change diaper for her n play with her despite he is tire in work on weekdays..
then if he ot n eat in office (food provided if ot), he wont finish up whole set of his macd /kfc set meal, he ll keep the corn or stimes burger for me cos he know i ll definitely skip my dinner if he ot..
i just feel very disappointed ytd cos at 1st i planned to get an activity table for my gal, but if he couldnt go, so i also have to drop my plan..
then this mrng he told me his project got issue, so very busy, other department accused it is software integration issue bla bla bla ..then i purposely asked him "if so, then we postpone the PS?", then he replied "okloh, then change to the week after he i from business trip.."
i was so disappointed that time as this is not the 1st time i changed my plan due to his work..then i told him nvm, i ll pass the PS to other mommy..
i feel that the happiest time for me is when we rented a room together last time..that time we did everything together, play games together after work, had a long chat before sleep...
but now when he bek from work, i can see that he is very exhausted to do all these with me..
ica: i feel guilty after i read ur post.. i think you are much more understanding compare with me..maybe i should try to be independent, learn to drive around, find my own programme after work..
anyway, really thanks for all of your concern..i really feel much better now..
hugs...
Thanks for all the encouragement..I feel better now after reading the thread..
actually ytd after he ot, he still cleaned up the house, mop the floor, cleaned up the wall etc cos our bb is coming 2moro..
every weekend he is the one who bath for baby, change diaper for her n play with her despite he is tire in work on weekdays..
then if he ot n eat in office (food provided if ot), he wont finish up whole set of his macd /kfc set meal, he ll keep the corn or stimes burger for me cos he know i ll definitely skip my dinner if he ot..
i just feel very disappointed ytd cos at 1st i planned to get an activity table for my gal, but if he couldnt go, so i also have to drop my plan..
then this mrng he told me his project got issue, so very busy, other department accused it is software integration issue bla bla bla ..then i purposely asked him "if so, then we postpone the PS?", then he replied "okloh, then change to the week after he i from business trip.."
i was so disappointed that time as this is not the 1st time i changed my plan due to his work..then i told him nvm, i ll pass the PS to other mommy..
i feel that the happiest time for me is when we rented a room together last time..that time we did everything together, play games together after work, had a long chat before sleep...
but now when he bek from work, i can see that he is very exhausted to do all these with me..
ica: i feel guilty after i read ur post.. i think you are much more understanding compare with me..maybe i should try to be independent, learn to drive around, find my own programme after work..
anyway, really thanks for all of your concern..i really feel much better now..
hugs...
Carol: you can do it. aiyo! your hubby is a gem despite he being tired, he still made time to clean the place, saved some food for you. you know, for my own birthday, i had to order my own birthday cake? hahaha! pathetic hor? but hubby did send flowers for my bday last yr which was totally unexpected of him - that was the 1st and last time. his reason is that he prefers to spend on good food rather than on flowers. whatever lah
so since you're married to your guy, give and take lor. no one's perfect
so since you're married to your guy, give and take lor. no one's perfect
Carol: I went to Toysrus Paragon just now during lunch. Saw a lot of Leapfrog tables especially pink ones, blue ones are limited. At the first shelf I saw them, the price tag showed $68.95. When I walked further into the store, there’s another stack of them and the price tag showed $89.95. To be sure, I checked with the cashier coz I remember Phy mentioned $58.90 at Vivo branch. The cashier scanned the box and it is $89.95 in their system. She checked with her manager and the manager said I can buy at $68.95 coz they forgot to update their price tag! Was planning to get it over the weekend when hubby drives us there but since the manager gave me $68.95, I bought it and lugged the big box back to office! I wonder if Vivo branch is still selling at $58.90 or is also the case of them not updating their price tag.
wah carol...ur hubby so sweet.. see now u think about his plus points he is not that bad after all. I think he is trying very hard too. when a baby comes along a lot of things changes and all of us first time mummies are still trying hard to adapt a new family member.. he is exhausted to do all this with u but he is still willing to do it.. thats the most impt point :>
Yeah! i m also trying to be more independent .. Maybe u can join us for our gathering next time.. I am inspired by some of the other mummies too.. just bring the bb out themselves and have fun!!
Yeah! i m also trying to be more independent .. Maybe u can join us for our gathering next time.. I am inspired by some of the other mummies too.. just bring the bb out themselves and have fun!!
Cakes
Thanks everyone for the comments given. The cake which I had shown is from Yiling Cake and their quote is $100 for 2kg.
Thanks for giving me alternatives to look at too.
I have another cake link to share, http://piccolo-yogashiten.blogspot.com/. Her cakes are real nice too and I heard from other mummies from SMH that her cakes are not only nice to see but nice to eat too. Price also very reasonable. You all can take a look and consider.
Thanks everyone for the comments given. The cake which I had shown is from Yiling Cake and their quote is $100 for 2kg.
Thanks for giving me alternatives to look at too.
I have another cake link to share, http://piccolo-yogashiten.blogspot.com/. Her cakes are real nice too and I heard from other mummies from SMH that her cakes are not only nice to see but nice to eat too. Price also very reasonable. You all can take a look and consider.
Carol: I understand how you feel. I also always complain about hubby and get mad with him when he keep doing OT and don't take leave at all. But like what the rest say, our hubbies just show their care in a different way, that's all. So feel free to complain here as much as you want.
Geri: I prefer tee to romper actually. Hehe!!
Geri: I prefer tee to romper actually. Hehe!!
Eliss, I have been using hanamuguri carrier since bb is 3 months.. Sometime I use face out for a short time.. Find that even it states can face out but bb dun have much back support when face out.. When my gal leans back, her spine is not straight.. But I use face out only when I know I need to take bus/cab.. Overall, I like this carrier coz it can be folded n takes little space..
There r 2 types of fasteners.. Zipped n Velcro.. I got both.. Zipped one is shorter which now my bb is bigger I can't use it.. Velcro one is longer n easy to fastener.. Cheap.. I got it at $12/13 online..
But I must say when bb gets heavier, my shoulder starts to ache.. My gal is ard 9.6kg..
There r 2 types of fasteners.. Zipped n Velcro.. I got both.. Zipped one is shorter which now my bb is bigger I can't use it.. Velcro one is longer n easy to fastener.. Cheap.. I got it at $12/13 online..
But I must say when bb gets heavier, my shoulder starts to ache.. My gal is ard 9.6kg..
Sweetkiss... My hubby is also like tat.. Never take care of my 2 gals for nite feeds before! Din bathe my bb before too! Din change diaper also! Got one time bb sleep but wake up poo n I went to supermarket.. He called me to come back n 30mins later I m back.. My gal still in the soiled diaper!! He also take care of bb only when I bathe, eat, or when my elder gal needs me.. The moment when I m free, bb is thrown back to me..
Carol, I must say yr hubby cares for u n family.. Save food for u.. I din remember my hubby doing this after we had our kids.. House chores.. Ever since my #1, we hired a part time helper, my hubby NEVER does a chore!! I still need to handle washing, drying clothes, clean floor, tidy kitchen, take care of bb.. U r lucky!! Hehe.. I agree that sometimes I miss couple times wif my hubby.. But I also miss my ME time.. Like what other mummies said, go shopping, watch fav DVD at home, meet frens or do facial or spa when yr hubby not free! [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]
Phy, my household also kanna attacked by gastric flu 2 weeks ago.. Started by my elder gal got fr cc.. Then pass to my mil.. Then my bb then me n lastly hubby.. The feeling is super terrible.. Weak, giddy, LS, wanna vomit n no appetite..
Do see a doc coz I recovered within 2 days..
Take more water to recover yr water loss.. Rest more n get well soon!!
Do see a doc coz I recovered within 2 days..
Take more water to recover yr water loss.. Rest more n get well soon!!
hi mommies,
i think i should learn to give n take also..
maybe b4 bb out, im his 1st priority..then now after bb was born, i feel like im not his focus..
ya, i would like to join gathering too..hope after bb is here can join u gals =)
ica: ur hubby is good loh, still give u flower..i being with my hubby for 6 years ady, i think only received flowers once, which is during our graduation ceremony..
vernie: thanks for your info, i ll go vivo toyrus this fri..hope i still able to get 1 with $68.95
i think i should learn to give n take also..
maybe b4 bb out, im his 1st priority..then now after bb was born, i feel like im not his focus..
ya, i would like to join gathering too..hope after bb is here can join u gals =)
ica: ur hubby is good loh, still give u flower..i being with my hubby for 6 years ady, i think only received flowers once, which is during our graduation ceremony..
vernie: thanks for your info, i ll go vivo toyrus this fri..hope i still able to get 1 with $68.95
MVH: yesyes... Our hubbies same pattern, 100%! But I'm already used to it la. My hubby comes frm a family where he doesn't have to do housework, cos got maid. He dun even know hw to iron his own clothes. When I complain to him for nt helping, he will simply say we go employ maid. He just wants the easy way out. But other than being lazy he also got his gd points la. So ya, close one eye and give and take lor.
suika
Active Member
Eliss,
I've been using this X-carrier for my #1 till now, i'm having the velco type....very easy to use, my godmum is using it now....when not her sleeping time, we'll put her facing outside to see things...if nap time then face us so less distraction....
i've got 2 tins of 400g NAN Pro to exchange for similac stage2....those interested pls pm me
I've been using this X-carrier for my #1 till now, i'm having the velco type....very easy to use, my godmum is using it now....when not her sleeping time, we'll put her facing outside to see things...if nap time then face us so less distraction....
i've got 2 tins of 400g NAN Pro to exchange for similac stage2....those interested pls pm me
hihi,at the end i still unable to take photo tomorrow as hubby needs to ot again..but anyway, now more acceptable ady, maybe i ady have mental preparation.
Geri, i think i can only make app in May like you..wonder if we will meet over there..Can't reach SL's staff, hope wont get scolded by her 2moro..
Geri, i think i can only make app in May like you..wonder if we will meet over there..Can't reach SL's staff, hope wont get scolded by her 2moro..
Hello mummies!
Am helping my friends out there to convey this to you
I'm encouraging you if you are staying near Yishun/Khatib to join:
Baby Singapore 2011 @ Nee Soon South (Khatib)
http://www.pa.gov.sg/highlights/are-you-a-proud-parent-of-an-a-218.html
http://www.familylifechampion.org/downloads/babysg2010/baby_singapore_2011.pdf
If your baby is born between 5 March 2009 and 30 October 2010
See u there!
Nee Soon South CO
30 Yishun St 81, Singapore 768455
Am helping my friends out there to convey this to you
I'm encouraging you if you are staying near Yishun/Khatib to join:
Baby Singapore 2011 @ Nee Soon South (Khatib)
http://www.pa.gov.sg/highlights/are-you-a-proud-parent-of-an-a-218.html
http://www.familylifechampion.org/downloads/babysg2010/baby_singapore_2011.pdf
If your baby is born between 5 March 2009 and 30 October 2010
See u there!
Nee Soon South CO
30 Yishun St 81, Singapore 768455
dreamergal
Member
JTS:
MARRIAGE
When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.
She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.
She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.
When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.
She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.
My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outsidethe door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.
On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.
Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.
I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.
Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.
At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.
That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.
My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband....
The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you.
If you do, you just might save a marriage.
Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.
MARRIAGE
When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.
She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.
She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.
When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.
She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.
My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outsidethe door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.
On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.
Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.
I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.
Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.
At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.
That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.
My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband....
The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you.
If you do, you just might save a marriage.
Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.
Thanks for sharing!
I read till cry...
Will show this to my hubby, when the day he upset me with his insensitive words... N actions at times...
Actually late last year when I MIA for sometime, I was very stress each day. Endless quarrels with hubby till "divorce" is mentioned. But we both took time off work n return to the place we very first time dated and chat and talk things out. And we decided to give each other a chance. Now we both handle issues better and no longer quarrels.
Really old times do brings back sweet memories that both have long forgotten for many couples...
I read till cry...
Will show this to my hubby, when the day he upset me with his insensitive words... N actions at times...
Actually late last year when I MIA for sometime, I was very stress each day. Endless quarrels with hubby till "divorce" is mentioned. But we both took time off work n return to the place we very first time dated and chat and talk things out. And we decided to give each other a chance. Now we both handle issues better and no longer quarrels.
Really old times do brings back sweet memories that both have long forgotten for many couples...
Carol: don fret! A few mommies here worked n learn on the way to handle bb alone. I oso learn my way to travel with bb alone.
Now I often travel alone with bb in car rides, shopping, etc. see n ask n experience short trips nearby homes. At least anything happens, tired, lack of anything, can head home straight. Else like me, I dump a pack of diapers n wet tissue in the car, if go out bag jus put milk powder, bottle, can go out ready, water forget still can get from f&b outlet. ha ha ha
Now I often travel alone with bb in car rides, shopping, etc. see n ask n experience short trips nearby homes. At least anything happens, tired, lack of anything, can head home straight. Else like me, I dump a pack of diapers n wet tissue in the car, if go out bag jus put milk powder, bottle, can go out ready, water forget still can get from f&b outlet. ha ha ha
Jasline, thanks for sharing! It is so easy to take things for granted, more so with little one keeping us so busy.... Nor easy to find time for ourselves n also w loved ones coz at end of each day already feeling so tired... Hv to try n make more effort to appreciate each other n spend quality together.
I hv never gone out alone w bb before, gotta think less n just do it!
I hv never gone out alone w bb before, gotta think less n just do it!
Sweetkiss.. My hubby got 2 bros no sis.. So his mum bao all the household chores herself.. All e men in the house like king, no need to help out at all.. So after marriage I think his mentality is I bao everything also.. Before kids, I tell him to do some chores like mop floor n wash toilets.. The rest I bao.. He also gum gum niam.. Now got part time helper, he shake legs..
charliebrown
Member
Jasline: thanks for sharing. a good reminder for all of us about marriage.
My friend already warned me that after having a bb, there will be many quarrels, mostly abt our bb. Is true...haiz.
Beannie: I think it is a good idea to revisit the place where the first dating took place!! Maybe I should do that too, but then, hahah. I rem my first dating place with hubby was at a pub! closed down liao!!
My friend already warned me that after having a bb, there will be many quarrels, mostly abt our bb. Is true...haiz.
Beannie: I think it is a good idea to revisit the place where the first dating took place!! Maybe I should do that too, but then, hahah. I rem my first dating place with hubby was at a pub! closed down liao!!
Bdmummy: I found my part time helper through Domestic One agency, pay one time agent fee of $98, i think. After that just pay helper direct. $12 per hour, comes in once a week for 4 hours. Covers everything: vacumn, mop, wipe furnitures, clean windows, kitchen, toilets & ironing. I PM you the helper contact. I stay in Bishan.
Charlie: Can go back to the same area but another bar... as most bars actually about the same ... hahaha !
Those places i went with HB (then BF) 1 is closed down but whenever we drive pass, we will smile at each other now... hahaha ! Sweet memories. Sometimes he will even tease me saying me act drunk to see how he actually reacted... wahahaha! I think back, I sort of naughty to do that to him... hahaha !
Those places i went with HB (then BF) 1 is closed down but whenever we drive pass, we will smile at each other now... hahaha ! Sweet memories. Sometimes he will even tease me saying me act drunk to see how he actually reacted... wahahaha! I think back, I sort of naughty to do that to him... hahaha !
xbeanniex: u really "geng", i cant imagine how am i going to travel with bb alone..haha, when my hubby away to bath, i ll very scare my bb ll cranky or pass motion..haha, when my bb is here, maybe i should bring her out alone more often ..
Jasline: thanks for sharing, really touching..
true, since bb was out, there are more arguments mainly bcos of bb..not easy to be a mother n wife at the same time..but as sk said, we are strong mommies, buck up ya =)
Jasline: thanks for sharing, really touching..
true, since bb was out, there are more arguments mainly bcos of bb..not easy to be a mother n wife at the same time..but as sk said, we are strong mommies, buck up ya =)
Vernie, thanks for the PM! Will discuss with hubby & contact your helper to see if she is available. haha... think once we start having part-time help, he might find it indispensible. Now I do laundry (cannot not do one lei) while he cleans floor and toilets (can keep postponing one), that's y I think better to get some help before baby starts crawling! Better to pay some $ than having to nag at him and risk arguing...
charliebrown
Member
Beannie: hahahha!! both you and your hubby are notti n cheeky! but it is fun to tease each other at times. also for bonding..really missed those younger days n retro nites in the clubs! 
carol: No need scared of bb's poo. After awhile will get used to it. If bb cranky outside, ignore the stares from strangers. Don't get stressed or what. Bring bb out more often, enjoy your bb!!
carol: No need scared of bb's poo. After awhile will get used to it. If bb cranky outside, ignore the stares from strangers. Don't get stressed or what. Bring bb out more often, enjoy your bb!!
Jaclyn: Thanks alot ! will look out the letter box !
Carol: Where u stay, if i can i meet u lar... then we bring out bb out for a simple meal n short walk...i can help u around if u need help... dont need to be shy... we are all learning mommies... (Michelle(Shanelle's Mom) u reading? U should try too!)
Charlie: I do hope my HB is much mature to handle issues or maybe handle his own issues will do. But man at most times are quite kiddos. so they need lots of kiddos handlings methods to talk to them... hahaha ! so being notti n cheeky at times is no choice else we woman will be said too strick with HB lar, too fierce lar, too stubborn lar, end up when things happens, ppl will only say wife got blah blah blah thats why HB blah blah blah (outside got woman lar/dont want to come home lar/ etc)
we woman at times really dont know what to do to pleased the man... am i right ?
LOLX !
Carol: Where u stay, if i can i meet u lar... then we bring out bb out for a simple meal n short walk...i can help u around if u need help... dont need to be shy... we are all learning mommies... (Michelle(Shanelle's Mom) u reading? U should try too!)
Charlie: I do hope my HB is much mature to handle issues or maybe handle his own issues will do. But man at most times are quite kiddos. so they need lots of kiddos handlings methods to talk to them... hahaha ! so being notti n cheeky at times is no choice else we woman will be said too strick with HB lar, too fierce lar, too stubborn lar, end up when things happens, ppl will only say wife got blah blah blah thats why HB blah blah blah (outside got woman lar/dont want to come home lar/ etc)
we woman at times really dont know what to do to pleased the man... am i right ?
LOLX !