(2010/04) April 2010 mtb


wendees,



toking abt mc for sahm.. yes.. u r right no mc... once i was really sick n having high fever n aches all over (usually i dun fall sick tt jialat one) n i req hb to take leave so tt he can take care of B while i rest (in any case i was really too sick to even carry her) .. he had the cheek to sugg tt ask my mum who is bbsitting another bb to come over n help! come on... ur wife n baby are less impt than ur one day work???!!!

 
i shld really ask hb to come into forums n look at what other fathers/ mothers r doing so tt he gets a reality check... i think the idea of taking leave to care for baby when situations arise such tt original caregivers are not available, is a very alien and unfathomable idea to him...

 
gbh & bbdust: our hb can join hands together leh.. totally the same.. i can totally relate to all that and all my complains are the same.. let's hug together..



yesterday nearly quarrel with him again too, but i kept my cool cos it's not a big thing.. i told him yesterday whether he can just help me sterilise the baby stuff at the end of the day, only sterilise, not need to wash, not need to help to change my girl and get her ready for bed, not need to put my girl to bed, not need to help change my girl's diapers, alot of not need), he told me rudely "ok lar, pls leave me alone now" cos he's doing his work at that time.. alamak, what kind of attitude is that?? then when i close the room door, i still nag, i don't need alot from you, just this little favour and gave him the pissed off face..



although sometimes i'm really very angry with my hb, but there's once he told me something that when i'm angry with him, i thought of his words, i'm ok already.. one fine day while we are driving home, he told me that one of his friends called him to ask him whether he thought of divorce.. he got a shock and replied "No, never in his life he will thought of divorce". I;m someone that he has been for years and someone that will really appreciate him as what he is.. thou sometimes his temper is crazy and he's doesn't really do much to help me out.. but he knew when we are really in difficult times, he will be there to stand by me and support me.. just like how we been thru when i'm on no-pay leave, he knew he's not earning much, he still helps me clear my credit cards bills.. i know my hubby is not perfect, but he still did what he really promise me as a caring and supporting hubby (not father).. he still needs lots of improvement to be a good father.. hahaha

 
ya lor, I can totally understand, being cooped at home 24/7 alone, without any interaction. I did that during my mat leave, and that time, baby was still so small, cannot really respond much. Keep doing the same routine day after day, I almost went crazy. I wanted to apply for extra no pay leave after that, but was rejected. At least returned me my sanity and preserved my yr end bonus.

 
hi,

anyone introduce pearl bean into porridge for baby? cos usually i will boil pearl bean w lean pork soup for family. Wondering can 10months old eat that?



how about barley drink? can give?

 
juye,



good tt ur hb says such things to u n let u know how he really thinks... toking abt divorce, last night was the 1st time i brought tt into the argument, told hb tt im really very tired of being his wife n i cant go on like this anymore... told him tt if things dun improve, our marriage is def heading tt direction... i just want to let him know the severity of the matter... if not he might think tt its one of my crazy act up days n resumes being his old unappreciative self...

 
wendees, zz,



sometimes i really crave going bk to work... if i really need tt to save my sanity... n my feelings of being shortchanged... always have thoughts of telling hb tt we can do an experiment tt he stays at home n be a sahd for a month, then he can tell me how he feels after tt... hahhaah!

 
gbh: OMG, ur hubby is really totally like my hb.. they can really jie pai leh.. hahahaha.. and i said the same thing abt his job is more impt than us to him too... hahahaha..



my girl sick and i sick, ask him to take leave to help me out, he said he can't even handle my girl take leave for what, might as well as my mum or his mum to take leave.. nearly kill him for that...



oh, also this year he already took 2 days of child care leave, but not that he took to help take care of my girl, 1st child care leave he took to go play mj, the next he took to drive his sister to the hospital and help them out in hospital for the delivery of my nephew.. see what kind of father he is??

 
gbh: probably one reason why i still can tahan, becos i got help at home.. i'm staying with my ILs, so they will help me out whenever they can.. and also my MIL will help me scold his son for being such a lousy father..



i agreed with zz, work is the place where i have my own freedom..



is it possible for u to go back to workforce??

 
juye,



hugs! if hb takes leave to play mj, i will kill him!!! helping his sis is a legitimate excuse but then i will add on to say: ur own family alrdy lacking ur presence n help n u not doign anything but yet wanna help the other family???!!!!

 
my hubby already knew that he's lacking his presence at home to help out from my girl.. cos my girl totally reject him now.. she will cry when he gets near or carry her.. see how severe the problem is.. but he doesn't seems to bother.. he said once she's older, she will know that his is her father.. ok lor, nothing to say.. i just let it be.. i felt this girl only i'm responsible.. i just do whatever i want for my girl, he just pay lor..

 
juye,



going bk to workforce is no issue... worse case scenario is send b to ifc but thats not what i want for my child, i wanna be a handson mum who is always there for my gal... plus i can tell u for sure, it wont ease any situation at all bcoz will still end up arguing when u have both parents working n being tired end of the day... plus no such things as im the flexible one to care for gal or anythign... when both r working, will start arguing why must i take leave, y cant u take leave n care for B etc??? only thing tt will change things for the better be it for ftwm or sahm is change of attitude... when both parties r cooperative n in harmony, there wont be any quarrels...

 
juye, gbh

slowly bah

My girl is extremely attached to my hubby..

I don't know wanna cry or luff. Cos he is the one who looks after and bring her to my mum place in the mrg..

Both of them are v close lor.. he shower her, not so often now since she is growing up..



Boy also growing close to him... sigh

 
juye,



sayang... ur hb will know the consequences next time ur gal grows up... sometimes i feel tt my hb also like tt.. his thinking like im a sahm so im resp for most of the house/gal stuff... while he goes to work so responsibilities fulfilled: he is good father liao... i told him tt if tt is ur idea of good parenting, how abt we send gal to an orphanage or a home then each month just send over a handsome sum of money for her??? like tt good parenting mah! y cannot leh??? bcoz not acceptable by the society at large??? scared ppl say u lousy parent??? then whats the diff if baby stays at home with u but perpectually u r at work or other stuff??? i see no diff leh... only diff is outsiders dunno lor... so wont invite gossip????

 
gbh: true!! now when come to my girl's matter, i will sure be the one to take leave, cos don't want to argue with him on who to take leave and etc.. i sacrifice for that.. also i got more leave than him lar.. hahaha..



at the end of the day after work, no matter how tired i am, i will be the one to handle my girl.. not counting on him cos most of the time, he came back very late.. also don't want to argue with him on this.. since i can't accompany my girl for the day, i'm willingly to do that when i came back home..



sometimes i will purposely say very loudly in front of him and my girl that "daddy don't want to bother abt you leh.. but mummy love you.. so u must be guai guai and love mummy ok?".. hahahaha..

 
gbh

Yes, I'm at work and I start at 8am so hub time is flexible so he is in charge of transporting the kids to my nanny n mum place before he goes for work

 
juye,



pat on shoulder for u!!! 妈妈永远最伟大！



zz,

i see... tt one bobian lor.. u just gotta make up in lost hours by spending more time with them whenever u can...

 
thanks mummies!



for sharing all my frustrations n hearing me out... and also letting me know tt im not alone... it helps to know tt all mums face the same problems from time to time...



thanks so much!!! [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

 
gbh

Don't despair

I had super huge quarrel with hub over CNY and now it's better..



Kite

oh u mean this huh. Sure np ah. Can use one

It's v good bean

 
zhuzhu,

oh can ah. cos try to find from the net whether suitable for bb but not much results. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif]

 
gbh,



Calm down.. I think you have too much household chores to do.. anyway to reduce the works? Don't depend on men to do things our way. Have you read the book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus? Nowadays I'm happier to take care of all baby stuff myself. My hb also does not listen or absorb what I am talking at times. Now so tired with baby no energy to talk. If baby cranky I will "talk" to baby to vent out my anger. When I "talk" she will stop and listen. Now our baby started to understand our talking and tone of voice.. don't let babies bully mummies.

 
kite

Can lah.

My boy even had some birthday cake last night cos he kept asking for it.. faint..

teeny weeny bit lah.. juz the cake part and no cream

 
Hi GBH and Juye,



Goshhhhhh!!!!! Gbh, my hb is just like ur hb!!!!!! When I was reading ur post halfway to the part when he grumbled about the coffee cup, I can tell u if I were u, I would have walked in and smashed the cup on the floor!!! Whole day of "working" taking care of our gal and still have to face shit from HB, I want to die sometimes.



I ever asked him what the @&$%# is wrong with u? R u hard of hearing? Why don't u listen to what I say? His retort- I am tired from work. Actually I think I am the only one who is working hard to maintain the marriage by demanding pak tor dates and family holidays etc. Haiz....



Next time ur hb passed the remark of everything u say one, tell him - yah lah, I take care of my gal 24/7, so of course I am the expert here. Hah! That is how I replied my hb.

 
Hi gbh,



Sometimes I also use aprmum's method, talk to my gal and says that mommy takes care of u whole day long, so u must loves me more than daddy. Hee.... Evil me.... Propaganda since young.

 
Mummies,



Hugz hugz!! I think we are facing more or less the same problems with our hb.. My hb totally bo chay my boys. To him providing money for me and my two boys mean fulifilling his duties as husband and father liao. I quarrelled big time with him when my #1 was still a baby/toddler becos i cannot accept his thinking and behaviour. We nearly ended up with divorce. After that 'Divorce' incident, i just accept it. We are much better now. No expectation = No disappointment!! I learnt to take it easy..

 
Gbh: hahaha.. maybe hor.. same name, same problems..



Ruru/aprmum: I always talk bad things abt my hb to my girl too.. telling her mummy very tired leh, can sayang mummy.. my MIL also helps me saying to my girl.. hahaha..



Cottagefly: agree, no expectations = no disappointments, so really do things myself then to expect my hb to do..

 
ruru,



wah! u even more fierce than me ah! if i were to go in n smash cup then sure die liao... def will WW3 starts!



cottagefry,

i peifu u tt time when u shared with me abt ur hb... if i were u i really cannot tahan tt leh... $$$ not equal to love leh...

 
gbh,

My hub also about the same leh. Always complaint that I don't do my chores well and you know its very tired for me cause I'm a FTWM and i need to juggle between work and home. We always quarrelled over incidents whereby I tell him I will vacuum the floor btu cause my boy cranky so I went to pacify my boy and ask if he could help me to vacuum the floor instead and then end up he flare up telling me that why I always like to push chores to him when I told him I will do it. Can't he help out abit?



Was really very upset that I cried and ignored him then at night he come and apologise but same thing will happen if I ever ask him to help me do somethings that I told him that I will try to do. I always says try cause I know sometimes v hard to acomplish since we are so busy with our babies but to him.. try = must do so haha will quarrel again lor but now I've learn to kan kai.. I prick my eyes with toothpick so can kan kai more :p



Now hub is better lah cause I told him when he shouts at me, our boy will see and eventually our boy will know how he treats me and wont be so close to him. True enough, my boy will cry when he carry him and he was so upset he told me he wanna cry. I was very evil lah, I told him "Because you treated me like that thats y our son treated you like that. Our son knows mummy very xinku so he xiu xiu (dotes) me!" and he was almost tearing cause he didn't know that he was being very bad. Now he no longer flare up that easily and will try to control. Think babies really knows whats going on and will help mummy!



Quick go and whisper to BB gbh to ignore daddy and then tell hub the same thing :x *I'm so evil*

 
Re: 1st Birthday Bash

Paging for Elmoo!



Need her toddler's Name and Gender for cupcake tree. If anyone knows, can you please drop me a pm? Thank you very much!



Last one left, will be submitting order tomorrow.

 
didn't u all notice mother's day usually more fully packed for celebration then father's day..:p

I work n take ovr nite duties. Is indeed tired too when my boy dun slp n keep wanting to play hide n seek.

next sun my maid goin for her off day, good for her to take a break than everyday facing my boy, will kee siao. Nt healthy to cope at home everyday. Lets see how I handle him for a full day, definitely unlike when he is an infant, feed n slp.

My boy auto wake up 7am everyday, goes w/o nap til nite near 10pm den slp... Duno how he tong, n duno how I goin to entertain him.Put in sarong he flip n slide down on flr.. So wat to do Hw to make them nap?

 
fruit n veggies juice.

Anyone? Cn teach me..

Wat to mix which fruit cn go with which veggies, or any combination as long the fruit n veggie is suitable for their age

 
hj,



re birthday bash,

it will be a bit diff to make arrangements for last min joining in if u can only confirm on that actual day bcoz we need to do the accounting by then so tt we know if got excess to refund on the spot that day or not... plus we need to know n put ur bb name on cupcake??? this one needs to be way in advance... unless u can confirm at least few days before the event n we count ur payment in n u dun mind not having ur bb customised cupcake?? also gotta chk with treasurer bcoz she has lotsa coordinating to do n i cant anyhow add to her workload... sorry abt this bcoz gotta be fair to all mummies who have confirmed and make payment too... let us know if u can confirm earlier...

 
orangey,



it happened to me too!!! there were times i asked hb to do things that i said earlier that i will do n at times he would be very pissed... said end up all done by him... hee... tt one i cant say much bcoz i think im at fault lah... if its me i will also be pissed... hahaha....



re bb sayang mama,

today when B was being very whiny and cranky n was throwing a tantrum, i just ignored her while she sat in her high chair facing me and i just looked at her quietly and disapprovingly and feeling very tired n angry with her too... almost like staring at her and i was still very upset with hb so i started tearing n crying.. B just went quiet and stared back... n no more whining... we just stared at each other for quite a long time... then she started to look down at her tray and touch here n there a bit but small movements n still quiet... then i quietly ate my lunch while she still sat in the high chair next to me... slowly, she leaned forward n stroke my elbow n arm! its like she understands tt mama is very upset so she is trying to sayang n pat me! i felt so touched and 欣慰...

 
Morning mummies [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]



Gbh

They know our feelings one [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

Yest my MIL was complaining to my BIL abt my son not wanting to drink milk and he came out with a brilliant idea, put chocolate or strawberries inside, dont know whether to cry or laugh. I know she heartpain when she sees him cry at the sight of milk but does not mean she is doing him good by stopping his milk intake mah. Nxt time he learn walking fall and cry, does that mean she will stop him from learning how to walk or everytime he cries, she gives in and let him become a tyrant? Now he is the king of the house i cannot imagine when he gets older how they are going to spoil him?

The thought of it fears me everyday as he gets older. Told my Hub abt it already hope he can make the pt across to his mum and everyone in the family

 


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