(2008/02) Feb 2008 MTBs
- Thread starter bkge
- Start date
piglettail
Member
hi gals,
still stuck at work...super duper sian.new things! deadlines on Mon! I know nothing but am now responsible....?!?!
still stuck at work...super duper sian.new things! deadlines on Mon! I know nothing but am now responsible....?!?!
isobellies
Active Member
gar
mind if i ask which CC u going for?
today my company was closed (instead of off-in-lieu) and we went to gymboree and i signed up. now regret a little because maybe something like Busy Buddies at Grace Kids would be better, but then it's further away and less flexible in terms of classes. oh well...
jeannie
i heard maris stella is quite good also, maybe you can consider that too? if we lived closer it would be my first choice. some more for girls they have the super cute uniform with the little crosses!! lol.
mind if i ask which CC u going for?
today my company was closed (instead of off-in-lieu) and we went to gymboree and i signed up. now regret a little because maybe something like Busy Buddies at Grace Kids would be better, but then it's further away and less flexible in terms of classes. oh well...
jeannie
i heard maris stella is quite good also, maybe you can consider that too? if we lived closer it would be my first choice. some more for girls they have the super cute uniform with the little crosses!! lol.
isobellies
Active Member
jeannie
btw i thought meimei is really little sister until i saw your fb/blog!! lol.
btw i thought meimei is really little sister until i saw your fb/blog!! lol.
hi mummies,
thks so much for ur well wishes, glad to report that L is doing so much better liao
iso,
yeps, during L's first session of tuina, he was pretty apprehensive as i thk he didn't knw what to expect. But once the yi shi began her strokes, he loosen up pretty fast. It was the first session that i had to carry him while the yi shi did the tuina. Subsequent sessions he happily will cooperate when we ask him to lie down, turn over etc. He sure knws how to appreciate what makes him comfy
Now, whenever i offer to massage him, he won't let me liao cos i thk i must be doing a pretty bad job as compared to the yi shi.....hahahaha!!!
genice,
gwen so cute!! now that u mention what u do, i thk i m guilty of doing it too. whenever i get my son a new shirt, i wld try it on him n ask him to go look in the mirror to c if it is nice. n he wld happily go do so. oh no!!! m so v guilty of having a vain pot in the making. And he's a boy not a gal leh!!!
gar,
thk i need some "bling" on my face too, stopped gg for facials for way too long liao. need to upkeep my face abit. can share ur lobang too???
thks so much for ur well wishes, glad to report that L is doing so much better liao
iso,
yeps, during L's first session of tuina, he was pretty apprehensive as i thk he didn't knw what to expect. But once the yi shi began her strokes, he loosen up pretty fast. It was the first session that i had to carry him while the yi shi did the tuina. Subsequent sessions he happily will cooperate when we ask him to lie down, turn over etc. He sure knws how to appreciate what makes him comfy
genice,
gwen so cute!! now that u mention what u do, i thk i m guilty of doing it too. whenever i get my son a new shirt, i wld try it on him n ask him to go look in the mirror to c if it is nice. n he wld happily go do so. oh no!!! m so v guilty of having a vain pot in the making. And he's a boy not a gal leh!!!
gar,
thk i need some "bling" on my face too, stopped gg for facials for way too long liao. need to upkeep my face abit. can share ur lobang too???
yo mummies,
OMG, i actually spent 1 hour catching up on the posts that i missed!
Thanks everyone for the inputs on the stroller.. in the end i chose the capella over the maclaren becos of the full canopy.. however, if i need to get another one, it will be either maclaren or combi la..
thanks XY/Pauline, i'll go use Singer oil instead..
OMG, i actually spent 1 hour catching up on the posts that i missed!
Thanks everyone for the inputs on the stroller.. in the end i chose the capella over the maclaren becos of the full canopy.. however, if i need to get another one, it will be either maclaren or combi la..
thanks XY/Pauline, i'll go use Singer oil instead..
leila,
Poor L.. u take care of yrself too ya? i just sent C for MMR & Flu jab.. hope he won't kena watever.. Dr said 3rd & 5th day might get fever..
genice,
chill la.. our kids only 20 months leh.. sometimes i really think 'r we hot housing our kids too much?' there's still so much to enjoy and play.. give yrself a break.. i think it's still ok to start later like ard 3 yrs.. that's just my personal opinion..
but i'm putting C to school early becos emotionally & socially i feel that he is ready..
Poor L.. u take care of yrself too ya? i just sent C for MMR & Flu jab.. hope he won't kena watever.. Dr said 3rd & 5th day might get fever..
genice,
chill la.. our kids only 20 months leh.. sometimes i really think 'r we hot housing our kids too much?' there's still so much to enjoy and play.. give yrself a break.. i think it's still ok to start later like ard 3 yrs.. that's just my personal opinion..
but i'm putting C to school early becos emotionally & socially i feel that he is ready..
re: tantrum kid
yea.. the kiddo inside the video is realli realli funny.. haha!!
actually our kids do certain things to get our attention.. sometimes we just have to take ourselves out of the situation and think about it.. then figure out if they are manipulating us or not..
it's v common that when our tods don't get their way, they start crying, rolling, screaming or whatever.. but if we start giving in a wee bit, that's the beginning to a horrible habit that will start to build..
iso, u r right that yr nephew keeps screaming even louder becos ILs cannot stop talking.. kid will scream louder becos he wants to be heard.. however, if u keep calm and cool, after a while, they will cool down as well because there's no reaction from u..
kids develop 'mistaken behaviour' if adults keep giving wrong or unwanted attention. at this early stage, they cannot differentiate very well yet.. when we continue screaming or scolding them, we are actually giving them the attention they want.. eg. my nephew (25 months only) classic tantrum is rolling on the floor.. he doesn't stop rolling even though my SIL stares at him, scolds him or watever.. he just stays put on the floor.. hitting also does not deter.. almost everytime we go out with them, i'll see him rolling at least once.. it's really sad cos they don't know the right way to handle him and it's difficult for me to explain to them because they have this mindset character is innate and that C is such a good boy that's why i don't have this problm.. but i'm a strong believer in nurturing.. if i had handled C the way they handle him, i'm sure C will turn out that way too..
ok, so basically for our tods at this stage will be divert and distract.. all else doesn't work.. beating them will stop tantrum in the short term, but behavior will return.. and mostly you have to beat them more to stop it the 2nd time round.. when they're older, we start to use reasoning.. reasoning can start as early as 3-4 yrs old.. never underestimate our kids.. they learn really fast, but most importantly, we must treat them like adults and respect them, and you will see the results..
yea.. the kiddo inside the video is realli realli funny.. haha!!
actually our kids do certain things to get our attention.. sometimes we just have to take ourselves out of the situation and think about it.. then figure out if they are manipulating us or not..
it's v common that when our tods don't get their way, they start crying, rolling, screaming or whatever.. but if we start giving in a wee bit, that's the beginning to a horrible habit that will start to build..
iso, u r right that yr nephew keeps screaming even louder becos ILs cannot stop talking.. kid will scream louder becos he wants to be heard.. however, if u keep calm and cool, after a while, they will cool down as well because there's no reaction from u..
kids develop 'mistaken behaviour' if adults keep giving wrong or unwanted attention. at this early stage, they cannot differentiate very well yet.. when we continue screaming or scolding them, we are actually giving them the attention they want.. eg. my nephew (25 months only) classic tantrum is rolling on the floor.. he doesn't stop rolling even though my SIL stares at him, scolds him or watever.. he just stays put on the floor.. hitting also does not deter.. almost everytime we go out with them, i'll see him rolling at least once.. it's really sad cos they don't know the right way to handle him and it's difficult for me to explain to them because they have this mindset character is innate and that C is such a good boy that's why i don't have this problm.. but i'm a strong believer in nurturing.. if i had handled C the way they handle him, i'm sure C will turn out that way too..
ok, so basically for our tods at this stage will be divert and distract.. all else doesn't work.. beating them will stop tantrum in the short term, but behavior will return.. and mostly you have to beat them more to stop it the 2nd time round.. when they're older, we start to use reasoning.. reasoning can start as early as 3-4 yrs old.. never underestimate our kids.. they learn really fast, but most importantly, we must treat them like adults and respect them, and you will see the results..
just share with you gals how i handled C 2 nights back.. u gals might not agree but i'll just share anyway..
everyday we have to give 2 dosage of Dhatifen to boost his lungs. (he just went on the neubiliser couple of weeks back)
so my hubby is the one who will usually force the syrup down his throat and he struggles a lot.. so everytime after the syrup is forced, the poor boy is like gasping for breath.. usually, i'll entice him with something, like reading or watching a video clip, i seat him down and then let him drink voluntarily.. usually it depends on his mood whether he will want to drink voluntarily, but once he doesn't, my hubby force.. for me, i just keep trying other means to get him to do it voluntarily..
but that night, this was what happened:
I: C, take yr vitamins, then milk, then sleep..
C: noooo..
Ignored me and then carry on with his other activities
I repeated my instructions 2-3 times.. until C really wanted his milk but i refused to give him until he kept crying mum mum..
C: mum mummmm
I: Vitamins first, then mum mum.
C: Nooo.. mum mumm...
I just ignored and then he carried on with his activities.. He climbed onto our bed, and tried to snuggle with me..
I: No C, vitamins first, then milk and then big bed..
he obviously ignored me and try to stay on the big bed..
i carried him up back to his bed, and repeated, vitamins first, then milk, then big bed..
C started to cry and whine for 5s.. i continue to ignore, and then crying will stop, then he came up on the big bed again.. SO i brought him back and this went on for a good 1/2 hour!
But everytime he cried, he cried longer than before.. but seeing no reaction, he stopped and climbed up again on our bed.. i was like really tired already.. but it was like 'no face' if i force it down right.. cos my hubby was like 'see la, u force 5 seconds settle, then now leh.. blah blah blah..'
it came to a point where he was really hungry and tired and i was afraid he will fall asleep.. FINALLY
I: C, if you want to be on the big bed, you have to take yr vitamins, then milk, then sleep..
C struggled but not much strength left already.. i gave him the dose, not exactly voluntarily, a bit of struggle still.. then gave him a hug and few kisses and he fell asleep within 30s.. without his milk..
my heart was breaking.. but stil i couldn't give in cos i know that it will be the start of breeding bad behavior.. so if bad behavior starts early, stop it early, then will have less of it in future.. anyway, after he fell asleep, my hubby gave me 2 thumbs up and said he salute me.. but added by saying, 'u still forced it down anyway' HAHAHa...
btw, 3 important things to remember, first, kids always wait for our reaction even though they're whining/crying/rolling badly.. if we don't give them the desired reaction, they will stop their tantrum.. second, always ensure that when kids are having their tantrum, their lives are not endangered in any possible way.. Lastly, always remember that at the end of the day, always focus on the behavior and not the kid.. and always let them know that they are loved no matter what.. eg. saying 'i don't like that behavior' instead of 'i don't like you'
everyday we have to give 2 dosage of Dhatifen to boost his lungs. (he just went on the neubiliser couple of weeks back)
so my hubby is the one who will usually force the syrup down his throat and he struggles a lot.. so everytime after the syrup is forced, the poor boy is like gasping for breath.. usually, i'll entice him with something, like reading or watching a video clip, i seat him down and then let him drink voluntarily.. usually it depends on his mood whether he will want to drink voluntarily, but once he doesn't, my hubby force.. for me, i just keep trying other means to get him to do it voluntarily..
but that night, this was what happened:
I: C, take yr vitamins, then milk, then sleep..
C: noooo..
Ignored me and then carry on with his other activities
I repeated my instructions 2-3 times.. until C really wanted his milk but i refused to give him until he kept crying mum mum..
C: mum mummmm
I: Vitamins first, then mum mum.
C: Nooo.. mum mumm...
I just ignored and then he carried on with his activities.. He climbed onto our bed, and tried to snuggle with me..
I: No C, vitamins first, then milk and then big bed..
he obviously ignored me and try to stay on the big bed..
i carried him up back to his bed, and repeated, vitamins first, then milk, then big bed..
C started to cry and whine for 5s.. i continue to ignore, and then crying will stop, then he came up on the big bed again.. SO i brought him back and this went on for a good 1/2 hour!
But everytime he cried, he cried longer than before.. but seeing no reaction, he stopped and climbed up again on our bed.. i was like really tired already.. but it was like 'no face' if i force it down right.. cos my hubby was like 'see la, u force 5 seconds settle, then now leh.. blah blah blah..'
it came to a point where he was really hungry and tired and i was afraid he will fall asleep.. FINALLY
I: C, if you want to be on the big bed, you have to take yr vitamins, then milk, then sleep..
C struggled but not much strength left already.. i gave him the dose, not exactly voluntarily, a bit of struggle still.. then gave him a hug and few kisses and he fell asleep within 30s.. without his milk..
my heart was breaking.. but stil i couldn't give in cos i know that it will be the start of breeding bad behavior.. so if bad behavior starts early, stop it early, then will have less of it in future.. anyway, after he fell asleep, my hubby gave me 2 thumbs up and said he salute me.. but added by saying, 'u still forced it down anyway' HAHAHa...
btw, 3 important things to remember, first, kids always wait for our reaction even though they're whining/crying/rolling badly.. if we don't give them the desired reaction, they will stop their tantrum.. second, always ensure that when kids are having their tantrum, their lives are not endangered in any possible way.. Lastly, always remember that at the end of the day, always focus on the behavior and not the kid.. and always let them know that they are loved no matter what.. eg. saying 'i don't like that behavior' instead of 'i don't like you'
dalandcrystal
New Member
eliaw
think i must learn from you man! everytime cheryl threw a tantrum, initially i will tell her no and talk to her but she continue crying and scream even louder, so sometimes i no choice then i gave in to her. maybe this is the bad start for her bad behaviour already.
cc/playgroup
i had always wanted cheryl to attend cc because there is a #2 at home. sometimes she disturbs and makes lots of noises which makes #2 cant nap well and we also do not have much rest since she only naps once a day now. but she cant take to cc when i sent her in at 18mths, prolly because didi just arrives by then or she does not like that cc. it's not branded and only at my opposite blk void deck. only costs $350 after subsidy. (non-working moms subsidies). since she already had a 'phobia' of going to cc for now, i will have to send her to enrichment classes which i could sit in with her and wait till she is of a later age then i try sending her to cc again. the lucky thing is she sort of got better after the phobia and not so introverted anymore after i withdrew her. she was just not ready at that time but i did not realise.
if cheryl is able to go cc/ playgroup, both me and my maid could have a slight breather while i could also spend more time with daryl. but for now, i still feel cheryl got the phobia within her, so i will just make do with enrichment classes and spend more time with her first. super guilty to daryl but luckily im still nursing him. so hope this bf-ing makes up a little to him.
jeannie
i will try to update soon! i hope this maid will stay and be good. cant wait to get some 'load' off me.
after having 2kids, i had stopped working. so now im a SAHM.
think i must learn from you man! everytime cheryl threw a tantrum, initially i will tell her no and talk to her but she continue crying and scream even louder, so sometimes i no choice then i gave in to her. maybe this is the bad start for her bad behaviour already.
cc/playgroup
i had always wanted cheryl to attend cc because there is a #2 at home. sometimes she disturbs and makes lots of noises which makes #2 cant nap well and we also do not have much rest since she only naps once a day now. but she cant take to cc when i sent her in at 18mths, prolly because didi just arrives by then or she does not like that cc. it's not branded and only at my opposite blk void deck. only costs $350 after subsidy. (non-working moms subsidies). since she already had a 'phobia' of going to cc for now, i will have to send her to enrichment classes which i could sit in with her and wait till she is of a later age then i try sending her to cc again. the lucky thing is she sort of got better after the phobia and not so introverted anymore after i withdrew her. she was just not ready at that time but i did not realise.
if cheryl is able to go cc/ playgroup, both me and my maid could have a slight breather while i could also spend more time with daryl. but for now, i still feel cheryl got the phobia within her, so i will just make do with enrichment classes and spend more time with her first. super guilty to daryl but luckily im still nursing him. so hope this bf-ing makes up a little to him.
jeannie
i will try to update soon! i hope this maid will stay and be good. cant wait to get some 'load' off me.
after having 2kids, i had stopped working. so now im a SAHM.
kitsune, i pm u my contact already...bz yest.
let me know if you still want me to pick up yr stuff from Tong.
re:gold serum
Garfield, me interested!
eliaw, good job!!! i think i will prob just force down the throat... but i buay tahan my hubby who will do the same as yr hubby....nag n nag
re:recite A-Z
sigh.. Gervaise is super super slow in his speech development, though i know that boys are slower in it.. he cant even call MaMa... he can greet everyone except me.. heartpain... only know how to come to me for latching...
let me know if you still want me to pick up yr stuff from Tong.
re:gold serum
Garfield, me interested!
eliaw, good job!!! i think i will prob just force down the throat... but i buay tahan my hubby who will do the same as yr hubby....nag n nag
re:recite A-Z
sigh.. Gervaise is super super slow in his speech development, though i know that boys are slower in it.. he cant even call MaMa... he can greet everyone except me.. heartpain... only know how to come to me for latching...
isobellies
Active Member
eliaw
good work in perservering, it's not easy, but must do! otherwise they'll know they can get away with it. suffer now for longer term gains, haha.
so in the case of your nephew (or sometimes mine too!) what's the best way to deal with a floor-rolling tantrum? is it ignore them, or hug them tightly? in my nephew's case, my MIL thinks that it's a phase. i always say in my heart "yah, a phase that he will grow out of when he's like what, 18??" lol.
i started to read Positive Discipline for Working Parents, q interesting focus on tantrums, seems q different from the other Positive Discipline books, but the principles apply whether or not parents are working. Basically they say bad behaviour arises when kids do not feel a sense of belonging, or do not feel capable (to do things). very intresting.
good work in perservering, it's not easy, but must do! otherwise they'll know they can get away with it. suffer now for longer term gains, haha.
so in the case of your nephew (or sometimes mine too!) what's the best way to deal with a floor-rolling tantrum? is it ignore them, or hug them tightly? in my nephew's case, my MIL thinks that it's a phase. i always say in my heart "yah, a phase that he will grow out of when he's like what, 18??" lol.
i started to read Positive Discipline for Working Parents, q interesting focus on tantrums, seems q different from the other Positive Discipline books, but the principles apply whether or not parents are working. Basically they say bad behaviour arises when kids do not feel a sense of belonging, or do not feel capable (to do things). very intresting.
julyclover
New Member
eliaw, peifu peifu. u really try to reinforce what u believe in. I agree with your method, but at times when i'm occupied with chores on hand and i'm tired, i will scold or tell NO to DS which makes him unhappy n rebellious.
eliaw,
i knw what u mean, my hubs also in favour of forcing it down but i don't and won't allow it anymore cos' there were times it was forced n it ended wid him sobbing so hard n throwing up instead. He really got so agitated, as if we violated his rts...
I also try to get his meds down by distracting him. But the recent bout of illness, i have started reason g wid him instead. It was bcos i cld tell he was so v v sick of eating meds on top of being easily irritated. Told him he was sick (n he was well aware of that cos his bad cold also lasted as long as his fever)n if he didn't take his meds he wld't recover n he won't be able to go swim g, playground etc etc. Was actually v surprised that he understood that n took it down voluntarily. Of course there were days he jus refused to be convinced and gave me the "bitter" face. What i did was i agreed wid exageration that the meds tasted yucky (well, it did, i tasted it
)but i had no choice cos he was unwell. He liked it when i agreed wid his views n he took the medication. Whole process took v long to complete cos i had to convince, agree wid him n then distract him n feed him at the same time.
Battles to fight
I usu will give in or give alternatives if i view no harm in doing so but those i choose to fight, i make sure i win them. I personally feel that it is a give n take situation n so far it has worked for me n ds. Cos the moment he hears me raise my voice louder he wld back off. Having said that, i too notice that ds also response better when i use the soft method instead of the hard method. i say this b'cos i've tried both. Sad to say i've tried the hard method first cos' my hubs is of a view that ds shd be "trained" such that when we say no to anything, ds wld have to stop dead in his tracks. Very heart wretching when i saw hubs implementing that thru threat/force. In the end, i cannot tahan n told hubs that i wld be in charge of disciplining him instead. So, m really hoping that what i do today will not backfire on me else m gonna be one dead duck.....hahaha!!!
crystal
mayb u wanna try slowly introducing going to sch themed books to cheryl n show her how much fun she wld be having. c if she's receptive to the idea of joining her friends again in sch?
i knw what u mean, my hubs also in favour of forcing it down but i don't and won't allow it anymore cos' there were times it was forced n it ended wid him sobbing so hard n throwing up instead. He really got so agitated, as if we violated his rts...
I also try to get his meds down by distracting him. But the recent bout of illness, i have started reason g wid him instead. It was bcos i cld tell he was so v v sick of eating meds on top of being easily irritated. Told him he was sick (n he was well aware of that cos his bad cold also lasted as long as his fever)n if he didn't take his meds he wld't recover n he won't be able to go swim g, playground etc etc. Was actually v surprised that he understood that n took it down voluntarily. Of course there were days he jus refused to be convinced and gave me the "bitter" face. What i did was i agreed wid exageration that the meds tasted yucky (well, it did, i tasted it
)but i had no choice cos he was unwell. He liked it when i agreed wid his views n he took the medication. Whole process took v long to complete cos i had to convince, agree wid him n then distract him n feed him at the same time. Battles to fight
I usu will give in or give alternatives if i view no harm in doing so but those i choose to fight, i make sure i win them. I personally feel that it is a give n take situation n so far it has worked for me n ds. Cos the moment he hears me raise my voice louder he wld back off. Having said that, i too notice that ds also response better when i use the soft method instead of the hard method. i say this b'cos i've tried both. Sad to say i've tried the hard method first cos' my hubs is of a view that ds shd be "trained" such that when we say no to anything, ds wld have to stop dead in his tracks. Very heart wretching when i saw hubs implementing that thru threat/force. In the end, i cannot tahan n told hubs that i wld be in charge of disciplining him instead. So, m really hoping that what i do today will not backfire on me else m gonna be one dead duck.....hahaha!!!
crystal
mayb u wanna try slowly introducing going to sch themed books to cheryl n show her how much fun she wld be having. c if she's receptive to the idea of joining her friends again in sch?
kitsune_sg
Active Member
Dor, I didn't receive your PM yet. Yes, please help me collect from tongtong tomorrow if convenient. Can you sms me at 97816678 if you need Tongtong's HP no? Thanks.
Mama21's mummy still haven't confirmed if she's delivering the books to me tomorrow morning though she has my HP no.
Mama21's mummy still haven't confirmed if she's delivering the books to me tomorrow morning though she has my HP no.
Hi mummies,
sorry to intrude..., i have a BP on "Contact-less Thermoguard Infrared Thermometer", please PM me if you are interested
http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/messages/581296/3099778.html?1255423002
sorry to intrude..., i have a BP on "Contact-less Thermoguard Infrared Thermometer", please PM me if you are interested
http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/messages/581296/3099778.html?1255423002
kitsune_sg
Active Member
Leila, hehe, I haven't brought RaeAnne to any wedding dinners too. If we bring her, her bedtime will end up very late, otherwise we have to leave halfway. Hubby and I prefer to leave her behind so that we can pig out in peace. Hee.
Hubby and I prefer to leave her behind so that we can pig out in peace. Hee. Leila,
Just went to one wedding dinner.. usually we leave early.. but today surprisingly C dong until 11pm without fussing.. so we stayed till last dish..
Typically we will leave halfway abt 9 plus.. during the dinner have to take turns to entertain him to walk outside.. cos C can't sit still for too long.. can't really enjoy dinners..
re: tantrums
Leila, u r right. they totally understand when we reason.. but sometimes they don't want to comply with us.. but they need to understand that sometimes, they just cannot get their way.. n they have to listen to us.. n i prefer to let C listen to me voluntarily than forcing him.. but it really takes a lot of time and patience just to let them give in too..
good work there too!!
crystal
books r very effective to get them to understand situations.. do look for one.. if u find any pls share with me too.. cos C starting school next yr, tot of prepping him up too..
iso,
this is what i do with my nephew.. i give him verbal instructions.. usually i will say 'stand up and let's go running!' this works all the time, he will just stop rolling and stand up.. i was pleasantly surprised that the first time i used it, it worked.. subsequently, all the time no problem for me if he rolls in front of me..
all the time, they just let him roll, then they stare, shout, hit, whatever at him.. but it really doesnt deter him.. it gets worse and worse..
what's worse is the methods that i use and they use are totally different, n i don't really rescue him all the time from the rolling cos i'm also worried that they think i'm trying to be funny when they are 'disciplining' him.. i use the distract method cos i don't really spend a lot of time with him to know his likes & dislikes..
hugging tightly won't help cos it will only make them resist even more.. yes u r right that this behavior won't go away.. n if not stopped, will continue to get worst.. definitely not a phase.. now rolling, next time some other tactic..
of course, you need to assess the situation by knowing what caused the tantrum in the first place.. then distract and divert his attention to something else.. if u r outside, don't bother with reasoning la.. however, at home, can add in reasoning and re-direct him to do something else..
ignoring is a really big skill.. when u use ignore, u really have to ignore n 'ren' & 'lun'.. talking is still giving attention.. any small response is still considered giving attention.. if ignoring is done consistently, the bad behavior will go away after he realises it doesn't work and he can't get his way.. pls do remember to ensure that he is safe when ignoring him..
tubao,
it's information that i get from school.. but mostly it's theory for me cos i don't get to interact with children much.. but so far those that i use on C works well.. further C is has a pretty good nature, so i still need to have more practical in order to be a good advisor..
Just went to one wedding dinner.. usually we leave early.. but today surprisingly C dong until 11pm without fussing.. so we stayed till last dish..
Typically we will leave halfway abt 9 plus.. during the dinner have to take turns to entertain him to walk outside.. cos C can't sit still for too long.. can't really enjoy dinners..
re: tantrums
Leila, u r right. they totally understand when we reason.. but sometimes they don't want to comply with us.. but they need to understand that sometimes, they just cannot get their way.. n they have to listen to us.. n i prefer to let C listen to me voluntarily than forcing him.. but it really takes a lot of time and patience just to let them give in too..
good work there too!!
crystal
books r very effective to get them to understand situations.. do look for one.. if u find any pls share with me too.. cos C starting school next yr, tot of prepping him up too..
iso,
this is what i do with my nephew.. i give him verbal instructions.. usually i will say 'stand up and let's go running!' this works all the time, he will just stop rolling and stand up.. i was pleasantly surprised that the first time i used it, it worked.. subsequently, all the time no problem for me if he rolls in front of me..
all the time, they just let him roll, then they stare, shout, hit, whatever at him.. but it really doesnt deter him.. it gets worse and worse..
what's worse is the methods that i use and they use are totally different, n i don't really rescue him all the time from the rolling cos i'm also worried that they think i'm trying to be funny when they are 'disciplining' him.. i use the distract method cos i don't really spend a lot of time with him to know his likes & dislikes..
hugging tightly won't help cos it will only make them resist even more.. yes u r right that this behavior won't go away.. n if not stopped, will continue to get worst.. definitely not a phase.. now rolling, next time some other tactic..
of course, you need to assess the situation by knowing what caused the tantrum in the first place.. then distract and divert his attention to something else.. if u r outside, don't bother with reasoning la.. however, at home, can add in reasoning and re-direct him to do something else..
ignoring is a really big skill.. when u use ignore, u really have to ignore n 'ren' & 'lun'.. talking is still giving attention.. any small response is still considered giving attention.. if ignoring is done consistently, the bad behavior will go away after he realises it doesn't work and he can't get his way.. pls do remember to ensure that he is safe when ignoring him..
tubao,
it's information that i get from school.. but mostly it's theory for me cos i don't get to interact with children much.. but so far those that i use on C works well.. further C is has a pretty good nature, so i still need to have more practical in order to be a good advisor..
pauline
hubby n i quite bo chup about the bed time of kids (no good i know). if need to stay out late, we'll stay out late. think my kids are "well trained" to adjust their bed time liao though there'll be fuss at times. i don't like to leave my kids behind when I attend functions etc, unless it's those 'kids not allowed' type. though my hubby would prefer not to bring them along or just bring one.
hubby n i quite bo chup about the bed time of kids (no good i know). if need to stay out late, we'll stay out late. think my kids are "well trained" to adjust their bed time liao though there'll be fuss at times. i don't like to leave my kids behind when I attend functions etc, unless it's those 'kids not allowed' type. though my hubby would prefer not to bring them along or just bring one.
isobellies
Active Member
eliaw
so usually your nephew will listen to u when he's throwing tantrum? not sure if mine will, cos he sometimes seems completely "in the zone", if you know what i mean.
i think we're also in a difficult spot cos they're not our kids (my ILs are his caregivers), so sometimes i try not to overstep that too much. i've been trying to recommend positive discipline books to my SIL and even borrowed it for her from the library
bad thing is, my nephew is q jealous of E because E gets more attention and much less scolding from the grandparents, and everyone in general, that nephew deliberately tries to harm E. beat, take his toys, the other day he even pulled the stool E was standing on away from under his legs when i was washing E's hands. Lucky i was holding his hands!! sigh.
so usually your nephew will listen to u when he's throwing tantrum? not sure if mine will, cos he sometimes seems completely "in the zone", if you know what i mean.
i think we're also in a difficult spot cos they're not our kids (my ILs are his caregivers), so sometimes i try not to overstep that too much. i've been trying to recommend positive discipline books to my SIL and even borrowed it for her from the library
bad thing is, my nephew is q jealous of E because E gets more attention and much less scolding from the grandparents, and everyone in general, that nephew deliberately tries to harm E. beat, take his toys, the other day he even pulled the stool E was standing on away from under his legs when i was washing E's hands. Lucky i was holding his hands!! sigh.
bx,
oh no....stomach flu v painful even for adults. poor ashlynn
glad she is feeling better now. take care.
eliaw,
thanks for sharing the insights. my challenge is that A behaves "badly" in public - like she will practise screaming at the top of her lungs (for no apparent reason). bkkgal has witnessed her outburst haha....so for such behaviour how to curb? at home can ignore, but at a high-end restaurant i can't ignore her and let her disturb all the other diners. should i remove her from the scene? then do what?
iso,
the CC i'm eyeing is little empire. it's a stand-alone montessori based center
oh no....stomach flu v painful even for adults. poor ashlynn
eliaw,
thanks for sharing the insights. my challenge is that A behaves "badly" in public - like she will practise screaming at the top of her lungs (for no apparent reason). bkkgal has witnessed her outburst haha....so for such behaviour how to curb? at home can ignore, but at a high-end restaurant i can't ignore her and let her disturb all the other diners. should i remove her from the scene? then do what?
iso,
the CC i'm eyeing is little empire. it's a stand-alone montessori based center
and bkkgal helped Gar mama to reinforce idea that screaming is no no. I think she's exercising her vocals, Gar. I noticed tho that EL is very consistent in discipline - he smacks A's hand which seems to help, maybe that's what you need to cont doing?
so many posts to catch up on!
Bx, glad ashlynn is better. poor baby.
Leila, also happy L is better.
wish all babies good health. flu season is coming back so do take care, keep warm, take vitamin C, exercise.
Xiaoyun, I saw Muji selling the pill masks $6.30 for 20 pcs. Abt $0.31 per pc. Maybe you wanna try before buying the pack of 100s?
Introducing new bb to family
Anyone has any good reads to recommend? How to ease new bb and minimise impact of introduction?
so many posts to catch up on!
Bx, glad ashlynn is better. poor baby.
Leila, also happy L is better.
wish all babies good health. flu season is coming back so do take care, keep warm, take vitamin C, exercise.
Xiaoyun, I saw Muji selling the pill masks $6.30 for 20 pcs. Abt $0.31 per pc. Maybe you wanna try before buying the pack of 100s?
Introducing new bb to family
Anyone has any good reads to recommend? How to ease new bb and minimise impact of introduction?
isobellies
Active Member
bx
aiyoh, so poor thing!! can't imagine her throwing up so much :S so heart pain...
bkk
Gina Ford has Contented Little Baby with Toddler, but i haven't read it yet. Will let you know if there's anything interesting from it when i finally get through it
i think other mummies have already suggested things like preparing gifts for both parties? one of my friends also said that when her daughter #1 would come home from CC, she would focus all her attention on her for at least a few minutes, and make sure that she was NOT carrying or attending to #2 as the first thing that #1 sees when she gets home. but still not easy, CC teachers reported that #1 said her mummy doesn't love her anymore, and at CC she would play with a baby and pretend to feed the baby..
aiyoh, so poor thing!! can't imagine her throwing up so much :S so heart pain...
bkk
Gina Ford has Contented Little Baby with Toddler, but i haven't read it yet. Will let you know if there's anything interesting from it when i finally get through it
i think other mummies have already suggested things like preparing gifts for both parties? one of my friends also said that when her daughter #1 would come home from CC, she would focus all her attention on her for at least a few minutes, and make sure that she was NOT carrying or attending to #2 as the first thing that #1 sees when she gets home. but still not easy, CC teachers reported that #1 said her mummy doesn't love her anymore, and at CC she would play with a baby and pretend to feed the baby..
kitsune_sg
Active Member
Bx, poor ashlynn, no wonder you've been too busy to check forum. Luckily, today is school holiday so it's a long weekend for you to look after her.
Iso, I got the same book too. Only read 1/3 of it. Always reading at bedtime when I'm falling asleep so haven't digested much yet.
Stephie, aiyah, my gal very 'hong sim' when it comes to her bed time. Even though we start her bedtime routine at 9 or 9ish every night, she still falls asleep at 11pm on most days. Problem with her is that once we missed her sleepy 'window', she gets overtired and cranky. Want to sleep but cannot sleep. I can't imagine bringing her to wedding dinner and having her sleep at 12+/1am lor.
Iso, I got the same book too. Only read 1/3 of it. Always reading at bedtime when I'm falling asleep so haven't digested much yet.
Stephie, aiyah, my gal very 'hong sim' when it comes to her bed time. Even though we start her bedtime routine at 9 or 9ish every night, she still falls asleep at 11pm on most days. Problem with her is that once we missed her sleepy 'window', she gets overtired and cranky. Want to sleep but cannot sleep. I can't imagine bringing her to wedding dinner and having her sleep at 12+/1am lor.
kitsune_sg
Active Member
Iso, you were asking about nursing bras for your sis right? The BP is back
http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/messages/581296/3123744.html?1255920544
isobellies
Active Member
i'm sooo bored at work
bkk
my niece is due anytime now, and especially after my experience with my nephew (from the other side of the family) being so jealous about E, my family is trying to do everything we can to integrate them almost as siblings!
wonder if K will be able to "see" anything - have you tried showing her photos of scans already?
bkk
my niece is due anytime now, and especially after my experience with my nephew (from the other side of the family) being so jealous about E, my family is trying to do everything we can to integrate them almost as siblings!
wonder if K will be able to "see" anything - have you tried showing her photos of scans already?
re integrating #2
remember the book i shared about? recently i asked A which character she is (well, she's supposed to be the elder sister right?)
guess what...she points at the picture of the baby in the bassinet to indicate that's her!!
i read in Jan08 thread that it's a challenge - cos our #1 is still relatively young, so sees himself/herself as a baby instead of the elder sibling!! now we keep telling her she is the zheh zheh
yesterday visited a friend who just delivered, A was v curious kept wanting us to carry her so that she can see the newborn baby. so we took the opportunity to tell her that there's a small baby in mummy's tummy like this one, in a few months you will meet her and you will be "promoted" to zheh zheh status
remember the book i shared about? recently i asked A which character she is (well, she's supposed to be the elder sister right?)
guess what...she points at the picture of the baby in the bassinet to indicate that's her!!
i read in Jan08 thread that it's a challenge - cos our #1 is still relatively young, so sees himself/herself as a baby instead of the elder sibling!! now we keep telling her she is the zheh zheh
yesterday visited a friend who just delivered, A was v curious kept wanting us to carry her so that she can see the newborn baby. so we took the opportunity to tell her that there's a small baby in mummy's tummy like this one, in a few months you will meet her and you will be "promoted" to zheh zheh status
pauline
mine also the same. always play in the room during bed time - jie jie will talk/tickle shawn and they laugh so much that they take a long time to fall asleep. their usual sleeping time is around 11pm.
sometimes if we stay out late, they will fall asleep in the car. so save me the trouble of entertaining them in the room.
bkkgal
if i were you, will bring K along for gynae appt even tho she may not be able to "see" anything.
mine also the same. always play in the room during bed time - jie jie will talk/tickle shawn and they laugh so much that they take a long time to fall asleep. their usual sleeping time is around 11pm.
sometimes if we stay out late, they will fall asleep in the car. so save me the trouble of entertaining them in the room.
bkkgal
if i were you, will bring K along for gynae appt even tho she may not be able to "see" anything.
kitsune_sg
Active Member
Stephie, my gal always falls asleep in the car but once we reached home and transfer her to the cot/bed, she will wake up either immediately or after just 30 mins. She'll be so refreshed from her cat nap that it'll be even more difficult to put her to sleep the second time round. I scared liao, nowadays if we see her sleepy in the car, we will keep disturbing her to prevent her from falling asleep.
isobellies
Active Member
kitsune
ooh thanks for the nursing bras link, will ask her to check it out.
gar
interesting!! but i guess still got time to tell her more? my mum was saying must give the older ones a sense of responsibility, that they must look after the younger one. but if they're too young, not sure how that will work also.
ooh thanks for the nursing bras link, will ask her to check it out.
gar
interesting!! but i guess still got time to tell her more? my mum was saying must give the older ones a sense of responsibility, that they must look after the younger one. but if they're too young, not sure how that will work also.
re sleeping patterns,
we also had challenges with A sleeping at nite. then we "pak kak" with my mum to tweak her day time nap from 2x to 1x. and it seems to help her settle down earlier at night about 830pm.
she used to sleep once in the late mng and once in the late afternoon. so come round 8+pm (we put her to bed relatively early), she'll still be v active and alert. even if we switch off all the lights she will not settle down. so we gradually encouraged her to take one 2hr nap after lunch (up to about 2+pm).
come round bedtime, she would have been awake for about 6 hours so it's easier for her to accept it's bedtime.
iso,
ya i am trying lor. so we tell her she can help mummy by bringing mei mei's diaper, or a tissue or she can sayang mei mei (which she did for my friend's baby). we're using our toy doggies as a substitute now to demonstrate to her. hope she'll understand
we also had challenges with A sleeping at nite. then we "pak kak" with my mum to tweak her day time nap from 2x to 1x. and it seems to help her settle down earlier at night about 830pm.
she used to sleep once in the late mng and once in the late afternoon. so come round 8+pm (we put her to bed relatively early), she'll still be v active and alert. even if we switch off all the lights she will not settle down. so we gradually encouraged her to take one 2hr nap after lunch (up to about 2+pm).
come round bedtime, she would have been awake for about 6 hours so it's easier for her to accept it's bedtime.
iso,
ya i am trying lor. so we tell her she can help mummy by bringing mei mei's diaper, or a tissue or she can sayang mei mei (which she did for my friend's baby). we're using our toy doggies as a substitute now to demonstrate to her. hope she'll understand
kitsune_sg
Active Member
Gar, RaeAnne finishes playgroup at 11am and by the time, she had her lunch, shower and wind down to nap, it's usually 1+pm. If she's at IL's place. She'll sleep till 4+pm so she's usually still energetic at 9pm, let alone 830pm.
thks mummies for inputs on bring g kids to wedding...looks like i won't be able to pig out then if i bring L along.....
bx,
glad to hear ur dd is better, else v worry g.
eliaw,
so far, books i've borrowed fm the library for L.
1) School, school, school, i love sch
2) Spot goes to sch
3) Biscuit goes to sch
Can't really say they r fantastic books but i guess they serve the purpose of showing that sch is a fun place to be in. Also jus bought Barney n Bb Bop goes to sch from a recent Bp. L loves it cos it is Barney.
btw, if u need more practical experience on kids, i am happy to loan u L anytime anyday FOC
bx,
glad to hear ur dd is better, else v worry g.
eliaw,
so far, books i've borrowed fm the library for L.
1) School, school, school, i love sch
2) Spot goes to sch
3) Biscuit goes to sch
Can't really say they r fantastic books but i guess they serve the purpose of showing that sch is a fun place to be in. Also jus bought Barney n Bb Bop goes to sch from a recent Bp. L loves it cos it is Barney.
btw, if u need more practical experience on kids, i am happy to loan u L anytime anyday
FOC*yawn* morning mummies!!
bkkgal,
thanks for the info. will go muji check out the mask.
definitely not going to get the 100s as it's from overseas and extra postage incurred. furthermore, don't think i can finish the 100s before it turns yellow.
re: tantrum kid
eliaw,
thanks for sharing on how to handle a tantrum kid.
i nearly lose patience towards C yesterday. she keep wanting me to bring her out. if not, she will cry until lie on the floor.
are all kids likes to go out so much?
how do you all handle when this happens?
re: wedding dinner
last time brought her to wedding dinner, we stayed till the end.
brought her out to walk about every few dishes. when she's tired, carry her to sleep.
looking at how 'hong xim'she is now, i think i will have a problem to bring her for wedding dinner now.
yesterday, we brought her to Orchard for lunch, she can't even let me finish my food and start 'complaining' and wanted come out from baby chair.
in the end hb quickly finish his share and brought her out of the restaurant.
re: sleeping
C self adjusted from 2 naps to 1 nap since 1-2 months ago.
initially she's very bad mood and irritable when the awake time is more than 3 hrs.
now the timing stretch longer. hopefully her mood will be better.
however, we still bring her to sleep when we see that she's starting to get irritable.
on days that she naps 2x, she sleeps about 11 am for about 1 hr; 3 pm for about 1-2 hr.
on days that she naps 1x, it's about 2 pm about 2-3 hrs.
night time still sleep at about 9-930pm. that's normally her routine sleeping time.
before we sleep, we will off all the lights except the one in masterbedroom toilet. and we minimise all activities by sleep together with her.
bkkgal,
thanks for the info. will go muji check out the mask.
definitely not going to get the 100s as it's from overseas and extra postage incurred. furthermore, don't think i can finish the 100s before it turns yellow.
re: tantrum kid
eliaw,
thanks for sharing on how to handle a tantrum kid.
i nearly lose patience towards C yesterday. she keep wanting me to bring her out. if not, she will cry until lie on the floor.
are all kids likes to go out so much?
how do you all handle when this happens?
re: wedding dinner
last time brought her to wedding dinner, we stayed till the end.
brought her out to walk about every few dishes. when she's tired, carry her to sleep.
looking at how 'hong xim'she is now, i think i will have a problem to bring her for wedding dinner now.
yesterday, we brought her to Orchard for lunch, she can't even let me finish my food and start 'complaining' and wanted come out from baby chair.
in the end hb quickly finish his share and brought her out of the restaurant.
re: sleeping
C self adjusted from 2 naps to 1 nap since 1-2 months ago.
initially she's very bad mood and irritable when the awake time is more than 3 hrs.
now the timing stretch longer. hopefully her mood will be better.
however, we still bring her to sleep when we see that she's starting to get irritable.
on days that she naps 2x, she sleeps about 11 am for about 1 hr; 3 pm for about 1-2 hr.
on days that she naps 1x, it's about 2 pm about 2-3 hrs.
night time still sleep at about 9-930pm. that's normally her routine sleeping time.
before we sleep, we will off all the lights except the one in masterbedroom toilet. and we minimise all activities by sleep together with her.
