Support group - Miscarriages

Thanks Celestine! Indeed! Only sisters here can understand. I tried to rant to my friend n she doesn't understand. She says this gf of mine is merely trying to share her happiness with me. Ai yo.... I also know! I understand la... I not blaming this friend who's sharing her happiness with me by telling me she's preg n with twins. It's just that at this point of time, I wld rather choose not to know.... Glad I have u gals ☺
 


Gbob,
I am sad to say none of our friends including.our.hb can understand what we are going thru.

I have some friend, know i am mc, still want to arrange poly mates gathering... despite she herself is preggy,
i cannot help feeling sucks about this gesture of hers. My hb say i think too much, ppl dun mean anything... but i just feel sucky at it , i cannot control, not tt i dun feel happy for her, its just tt i want to be good to myself at least once by choosing not to attend and hear them happily discussing abt how happy they are...

I dun wish them bad , i just feel envy n upset y i cannot have a smooth pregnancy for my first bb...

Its normal for us to feel this way, dun feel bad. We are all kind by.nature. our bb will come back to us..
 
GBOB, have you gone back to work already? Yep I agree with all of u. We just wanna be kinder to ourselves. It means no harm to our friends who got preg.
 
hey princessleopard and jhw good that you both found closure in your recent 'chao du' session..
happy.gif
jia you!

GBOB
i share your sentiments..i supposed it's very very normal for people like us who have gone thru what we went thru..i too, to a point that i switched off all notices from fb or even not too often there anymore..i find it no point lor..if i see these posts and get emo abt them i rather not see it..see no evil hear no evil..though yes i sometimes shut myself up and just relax my mind with a good book or music or tvb shows to laugh it off..or doing puzzles/cooking/baking therapy..try to direct your energy towards other things and not think abt it lor..i think that's the only thing we can do cos we can't control what others want to say or do..just cut them off your life..that's what i did and it made me feel better..*hugs gal*

gals
sidetrack a bit..anyone knows where to get good quality wireless doorbells?
 
I agree with Chrisl and princessAngel i also stop viewing my fb see them post their pic to show off makes me feel horrible so i rather stop contact them too.
 
Ladies, you all jia you ok.... then your emo will slowly improve for the better.... I know it is really very sad and even seeing pregnant women really make us feel sore.... like just now my boss was telling my colleague how precious his son is as is a dragon boy really ache me as his wife is only 6 days later then me if not by now I will know the gender too.... but at least i have my boy to focus on and i quickly let it goes....
 
Hi Ladies,
I found out that my bb had stopped growing last week and am now waiting to naturally miscarry or take medicine to start the process. I am currently working in China and co's policy is that I am entitled to 2 weeks of leave for recuperation after miscarriage. But I need a MC from doc. I plan to go back to SG to take the medicine to start the process. May I know if its common for the doc in SG to give MC for 2 weeks for miscarriages?
 
Dawn,
When are u coming back sg?
Best to do it asap, as it not safe to keep inside as it might cause infection.
I was given 2 week leaves. No worries, if u need more just request from ur dr. He/she wouldn't say no.
 
Thanks girls for your replies.
Celestine, I plan to go back this Friday and see a doctor straightaway.

Does anyone know what meds does the doc normally give to kickstart the bleeding? And would I have to be hospitalised or I can just rest at home the whole time? Cos my doctor here mentioned about taking hormones pills for 2 days at home, then go into the hospital to take the meds to start cramping (stay in hospital for 4 hours), then I can go home after the fetus is expelled.
 
Dawn. How many weeks are you? For less than 12 weeks is D&C and will be given pills orally before surgery. If after 12 weeks u may need to be induce. Pills will be inserted into your vagina to stimulate contraction.

I was given 2 weeks HL and then 1 more week MC by my gynae.
 
The bb stopped growing at abt 6+ weeks. I have waited for about 2 weeks to miscarry naturally but nothing happens yet. The doc said that since it is still small i shouldnt need a D&C, can just take meds to start the cramping to pass it out.
 
for me, mine was natural miscarriage.
but because i all along didn't have a gynae so i dunno. But KKH advised me to go for natural after bleeding starts... i guess for your case, bleeding has not started... but since gynae suggest not to do D&C... maybe just wait another one week more?
 
Dawn,
I assume ur gynea u visit is at china?
Best is when u come back sg, go n have a scan to cfm again.
Then advise from the gynea here too. To play safe.

Mine was 10 weeks n Dr did a D&C for me. Dr advise me to stay a night to observe.
Next morning my dr came n I can go back home.
 
Dawn

oh you are in china
then better come back to SG soon to receive treatment and second opinion... don't do anything in CHina....rest for 2 weeks... i believe if you want one month MC, the gynae here will give you too... most importantly is that you must rest well and emotionally well to go back to work
 
Dawn sorry to hear that..

Do you mean to say that you would have been in your week 8th now or?

Thru experience, it took me bleeding for 3 days (baby think stopped growing in week 8 or 9 then it took me up to week 11.5 almost to week 12 ---3 weeks after then i natural miscarry) So for you it might or might not be ard the same time too..

A point you might want to take note before you book the flight to Sg straight to do a d&C..what happens if worse scenario you start to mc and bleed from the flight to SG? (as no one knows when the process will start) I think it'll be rather tad unbearable..thus you might want to consider resting at home for another few days to a week or 2 to see..for me i didn't take any medications to expel out just rest at home and let it flow all out naturally then a v scan at the hospital.

Hmm..but why don't you go to the doc there and ask for a 2weeks MC direct instead of taking a flight back to SG and take MC here? Cos this kinda thing better not wait, then after the green light from china hospital and when everything is out then I suggest you come back SG for a 2nd round of scan or advice again to be sure..

just my 2 cents worth..
 
Hi PrincessAngel, I m not working now. Only working part time. Two days a week lor.

Hi Chrisl, I ever tot of cutting off fb but then again I feel it's not "fair" to my other long time friends whom I still wanna b in touch with. As in Dnt meet often or even at all, but at least we "connect" thru fb... I just chose to "unsubscribe" from those people who I Dnt wanna know abt So that their posts will not appear on my public wall. But u r right la, cutting off might b better indeed.... Dilemma...

Sisters who feel the same way as I do, I'm glad to know I am not alone... As in at least I know I am not the only one who feels this way... Let's all JY n quickly have our rainbow babies
happy.gif


Dear dawn sorry to hear abt your loss. U same situation as me. My bb stopped growing at 6weeks plus or mayb even earlier cos no Hb detected. Waited for two weeks n nothing happened. I then went to my Gynae n got cytotec. Took it orally n 2hours later immediately start cramp n bled. Bled heavily for one whole day then subsequently became lighter flow n cramps lessen the moment I passed out some clots... I think u shd get this settled in china rather than take the flight back cos like what Chrisl said, u Dnt wan it to happen when u r in mid air.... It's not a very comforting experience. Hope all will b well for u dear. Hugs
 
Dear All,

I just had a D&C recently and am currently on 2 weeks hospitalization leave. I am thinking what to say to my fellow colleagues when I am back work.

Any suggestions beside telling them I had a miscarriage? As I dun feel good having too many people know about it and ended up getting all sort of consultations or whatsoever.

Please share.
 
Mavis,

Sorry for your loss.

For those colleagues who dunno I am preggy, I merely told them I was very ill, all sickness (cough, flu, sore throat etc) come at a go. If they ask further, I just told them no worries, anyway I am fine now, thank you for their concerns and I walk away.
 
Dear all,
Just wanted to share my experience with all of you
happy.gif


I had 2 miscarriages before, both are early miscarriage.

The first one I had seen the baby heart beat, but it stop on my second visit to gynea, I burst to tears in the office telling my colleague I need to take leave to wash it out. It had badly affected me as I wanted a baby and was trying hard. I was given 2 weeks hospitalised leave at home. I also didn't feel like talking to others at tat time.

I waited for half a year for my second conceive, again, I miscarriage at the very beginning but this time round it came out like menstruation no need to go for abortion.
People told me is normal to miscarriage at the early stage, as our body is choosing the right fetus tat is healthy. But I just can't accept it and was looking for solution and kept thinking was it my body too weak?

After half a year, I was pregnant again, I had early spotting and I tot I would miscarriage, but my girl was born healthily.

When my girl was 1 year old, I was pregnant again, the spotting was more serious and like having menstruation, I tot I would lost the baby but again, my son was born healthily.

Now my girl is 3 yr+ and my son is going to be 2 year old.

If your miscarriage is in the early stage, there's really nothing to worry, I know you'll be sad, but be strong, and you'll definitely have a healthy baby in your next pregnancy.

Cheers all! Stay strong!
 
Mavis
Sorry to hear about your case….
Take care and eat plenty of tonics from now on…
Maybe you can just tell your colleague that you suffering from some serious Fatigue and Backache (which miscarriage really will have backache) then Full stop…
Sometimes we don’t want to say anything, ppl also cannot do anything too

For my case, I only told my department colleague and they are all nice people… who give me a lot of valuable advices on what to take..
Not a bad thing sometimes, to have people giving advice…
But also depend on what kind of colleague you are having too..
If you don’t feel like telling, then just say health issues which require you to stay home to rest and recover…

Musicbox

I was really touched when I read your story.
I was very upset, though the sad feeling get lesser each day…. But sometimes when I suddenly think about it, I will emo again.
Thanks for sharing your experience, it really give people hope after reading….
 
Thanks, Princessleopard and jhw.

Thanks,Musicbox for your encouragement.

Actually I feel blessed to have such great family and in-law to keep me from moving on over this incident (esp. my husband). I think their support and caring had kept me from moving on.

We just have to remember that no matter what happens, they are alot people around you that really care for you alot. So we must stay strong and move on as this is not the end of the world yet.

I hope all of us will stay strong and move on.
 
Mavis,
During my pregnancy I didn't told anyone in my office.
Only my boss know abt it, as I need to inform abt my sudden mc.
For the rest I just told them tat I'm having serious fever etc.

Understand ur feeling, it just hate to talk abt it with them.
During my MC, I'm thankful that everyone give me the peace n wait til I'm ready to share.

Musicbox,
Thanks for the encouragement.
I was really trying my best to conceive again. Tough! Still jiayou!
 
Hi ladies, I'm from the IVF support forum... I was bleeding since friday, and when I went for blood test on Sun, it was 136. Now, today, it was only 17. The doc says the embryo did not grow, and the bleeding will clear off all the traces of the short pregnancy naturally.

I was wondering, if there is anything that I need to do to recover my body back? If start to count by the last menstrual date, I'm 4 weeks + 2 days only.

It's really sad, as I have been through 2 IUI + 2 IVF and this is the only time that it actually succeed... though it is so short-lived..

I had a progesterone injection on Sun to help support the pregnancy. Now I'm still cramping and slight bleeding... wonder when will I be ready for normal activities?
 
serene,

So sorry to hear that. Hugz~~
I know its tougher cos conceive is not easy already. I had 3 iui, conceived naturally once but miscarriage at 9 weeks.

You can do a mini confinement. Eat more food cooked with ginger. Drink LRD tea everyday. Keep yourself warm, wear socks.

Are you given HL or MC to rest at home? What normal activities do u mean? Exercise?
 
Serene,
Sorry to hear abt ur loss too.
Althought I didn't went thru any iui or ivf, it took me more then 2 years to conceive. Sadly my bb heartbeat stop on 10 week. Can understand ur pain n lost. Dun give up dear, meantime tiao ur body back.

As what princess recommend. Do a mini confirement n stay ur body warm.
Meantime best is not do any exercise. Let ur womb recover.
Do find a TCM to help u tiao ur body back too.
 
Hi serene ,

The gynea will probably referred urs as a chemical pregnancy .. I also miscarry naturally , so cramping will last a few days .. Don't worry , it will clear off ...

I also tink it's best to find a Tcm ... Don't give up and take good care .. Don't worry too much abt the Tcm nowadays , their medicine are normally powder or capsule/ tablet .. Not so much of liquid kind .. It's easy to swollOw ... And only take once or twice =D ..
 
Serene,
sorry to hear abt ur loss... we understand what u are going thru... as what tomomi say, better get a tcm to tiao and try conceiving naturally for next.round...
u may want to try the tcm we are visiting now...
she helped many couples with conception issues to conceive naturally ...
Quite highly raved in forums

Here's the address and contact no of our tcm.


Fu Nan Traditional Chinese Medicine Centre
Blk 152 Bukit Batok West Ave 6 St.11 #01-266. 
Tel : 6896 1618 
Physician Su 

Operating hours: 
Mon: 8.30am - 12pm / 6-9pm 
Tue: 8.30am - 12pm 
Wed: 8.30am - 12pm 
Thu: Closed
Fri: 8.30am - 12pm / 6-9pm 
Sat: 1.30pm - 5pm 
Sun: 8.30am - 12pm 
PH: Closed
 
Serene,

So sorry to hear about your loss.. Take good care and come back stronger k.. We understand wat you're going through.. Before i went for lap yesterday, my doc told me not to be discouraged by my previous mc.. The fact that we are able to conceive shows we still have chance.. So stay positive k.. Hugzz..
 
Hi Ladies, thanks for all your kind words... so touched
happy.gif


My normal activities mean like doing housework, working, going out eating, etc... I'm still on my HL till this week, so I guess I should be ready to go work on Monday?

Just knew that mine is a chemical pregnancy... I was thinking if I went to have the progesterone injection to stop the bleeding on Sat instead of Sun, will the outcome be different? Anyway, it's all fated... so maybe I'm not fated to have this child...

Oh.. thanks for the TCM advice. I have a TCM doc with me, will visit her on thurs since she not open tmr... it is still not too late right?

Even though it is so hard for me to conceive (I TTC for 3 years naturally, and 1 year medically), now I'm having more faith that I can be pregnant... so I will be trying naturally and leisurely till I recover from this...

Thanks for all your encouragements... I will eat more ginger foods, drink LRD and keep warm. Thanks again.. This forum is great :D
 
Serene,
I think you better stop doing housework for two weeks. Get your hubby to help u out... this two weeks, please get plenty of bed rest... sleep early... drink dom everynight after dinner... wear socks to sleep...
don't blame yourself, its not your fault at all...
i believe our babies had gone back to the circle and will come back to us again
 
Serene,

There is nothing we can do if it's a chemical pregnancy .. Even if u were to jab on the first day u knew u were pregnant , it will make no difference .. I actually miscarry at abt 5 weeks plus .. But nothing is being found , so the baby did not grow .. So gynea will consider the pregnancy as a unhealthy one if it's chemical ..

Normally we can ttc soon after , I tink gynea will say 1-2 cycles .. Tcm will say its easier to conceive after a chemical as well .. Actually I started yoga 1 month after my chemical , becos my bleeding already stopped and there is no cramp as well .. I still do my housework , bring my son to sch , go out etc 3 days after my miscarriage , but I look really pale( bad example , so pls don't follow ) ... So it's better to rest for 1-2 weeks with some Tcm .. Will recover your 'qi' very soon =D
 
Dear sisters
my friend checked with gynae about colostrum.
She say if u intend to eat colostrum, better show your gynae the labels and mineral list before u decide on the brand... because colostrum indeed got antibodies and it depends on what kind of antibodies existed in the brand u buy.
 
Celest,

I got the bazhen from the medical hall beside Fu Nan. The smell is the same as Fu Hua but taste a bit different. I find that Fu Hua have more variety of herbs. No wonder u say the bazhen dun taste like black chicken soup. Fu Hua bazhen does taste like black chicken soup, but not the Fu Nan ones. Haha...Have u try the black chicken soup?
 
Jhw,
Thanks for the info.
Meantime better dun buy any to take. *^^*

Princess,
Isst?! I didn't bought any from Fu Hua, so I duno the taste.
For Fu Nam, I will only boil with 2 bowl of water to 1 small bowl, so tat I dun need to drink lot. Haha! I hate Ba Zhen taste, so I can't imaging cooking with black chicken. But the recipe u give me, I still have not try yet. Paisia. Aft MC, my memory seem go haywire. Each time I remind myself to buy the herb, so I can boil. Forever when I enter the shop, I will forget. Got to write it down.. Lol!! Hv u start drinking?
 
Princess

So far, i only tried fu hua $8 bazhen and instant ba zhen.
The instant bazhen is very nice to drink. I will warm the bottle in hot water before drinking...the brewed bazhen is only nice to drink if i add chicken drumstick meat. Celest, maybe u try adding for the sweetness
 
Hi Dawn,
I was from another thread and happen to read your post. I had a missed miscarriage at 6wks as my babies are not growing healthily & doc couldnt detect any heartbeats. I waited 1wk+to confirmed the miscarried & went for a second scan as I did not even bleed. My doc suggested I went for Evac of uterus (wash) to clear the remainings on the following week to avoid any infections. Was given pills to be taken orally 2hrs before I head down to hosp. This is suppose to open up our cervix and start the bleeding episode. The surgery takes less than half a day & I was given 1 week HL but we can request for more if we want to.
 
Jhw,
Fu Hua sell their Ba Zhen so ex wor. Fu nam alot cheaper.
I dun included the chicken bcos I know I wouldn't eat the meat.
One week endure one small bowl is fine with me. Hehe!
 
Celest,

Fu hua now got promotion.
buy 3 get 20% discount
so i buying $19.20 for 3, instead of $24 for 3
How much you bought from Fu Nam? maybe i buy there also....
I added the Chicken, then my husband or my father can eat, though i also would not eat hahaha
 
Celest,

Actually Fu Hua sells 3 types of pricing for bazhen. $3, $5 & $8. I buy $8 ones, they say quality better. But I also dunno how to see. I just buy 3 packet from Fu Nam. I also dun like the taste.

jhw,

How to add sweetness? Must be meat? Dun want meat can? I dun really fancy those nua nua meat..hehe
 

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