Support group - Miscarriages

Jhw,
She is a perfection. Everything must be in prefect then can be happy, tat give herself tons of stress for nothing. Her expectation seems too high on everyone n giving stress to herself if it does not meet her expectation. We try all ways to explain to her n invite her out too. Sadly she doesn't care to listen to us or coming out. It been such a drama. We had our reason why we could not apply leaves in time. Yet she expect us to apply the leaves before she able to cfm. The issue is not solve if she not able to accept our apologize fully n understand our explaination.
 


Celest,
Then i think u guys shld stop contacting her until she cool down or let her contact u all herself ... i believe so many years of frenship, she will regret wat she has done after u all stop giving her the attention she want... she need to learn.a lesson by temporarily losing u all
 
Jhw,
Sad to say there a blind supporter beside her.
The another friend tat went USS with her.. She comment tat we are not understanding n make her disappointment. Then keep attacking us for hurting her. If such a friendship is all bases on the bday girl emotion then I dun see a point in the friendship anymore. Last year that bday girl wasn't there to attend all of the bday celebration too. Why her turn, she need to blow up so seriously. It totally childish.

Now time for us to move on.
I'm waiting for her to come out n start the talking.
Now there a two headed snake beside her, no point talking.
 
Celest,

Sometimes, it takes some small minor things like this to let us see the True Color of certain people. Even friendship of 10 years can break off because of some ridiculous things... it may also means she is a selfish person where everything is all about herself, not everyone as a group. Sometimes, even people you know only for 1 year, care more about you than friends of 10 years .... it depends on fate de.... if she continue to be like that, then she is not worth your attention at all.... and the double headed snake, you can also forget about that friend too.
 
Jhw,
Thanks! Least I know tat I try my best to save this friendship.
Nothing to regret.. If she chose to break this friendship tat we cherish so much.
Totally agree with u. Sometime it take a moment to knock our head up to see others true colours. Sad but true..
Thanks! Talking to u n burst my tension, really help me.
 
No problem you are welcome gal
happy.gif

sometimes i really think this way.... certain friendship if really not fated to be, then i won't go after it... I have people who are more worth of my attention, people like my Hubby, my Parents, my siblings, and even my Health.... why should i bother about whether my friends care for me anot?
I used to bother about it.... but after my Miscarriage, i let go alot of things.... Like i know some friends, i used to be there for them no matter what happen, but for my MC, they dun seem to care and dun understand.... even can complain to me say their leg swollen like pig trotters during their pregnancy in front of me.... its like disregard my feeling.... how i wish i can have pig trotter legs like them and smoothly carry my pregnancy to full term...and u know, one even told me MC is small thing, dun be sad....

it may seem childish of me to feel this way....
but it really takes small things like this to see where you are in some friends' heart.... and u will realised that actually u are not as important as u think...
its sad to think about it but its better to know earlier than later....

At least We tried our best to cherish our friendship, and it is good enough liao....
 
Jhw,
It sucks to think there tons of ppl out there who so selfish & childish.
To makes a friendship works doesn't depend on one self. It takes two hands to claps.
Being "xiao qi" whatever we are, will nv make us go anywhere.
As wat u say, we tried to save n cherish this friendship, nothing to loss if she chose to behave this way.

Ur friend goes thru any MC? What make her say it just a small thing.
Yes, it mean nothing to her cos it none her biz. Sorry to say tat but what she say is unbelievable.
She might duno how to console ppl, then best she dun say a word.
 
Scream * I typed out a big paragraph and the phone hang and it's gone .. So I decided not to re-typed everything ..

Jhw,

Really close friend will accept who u are and love u for who u are ... They will not quarrel and be angry over such things .. U know , I got 3 BFFs ( we are not one group ) .. But I am very different from all 3 of them.. U can consider me as the rebellious playful kind when they know me ( smoke, drink , club , bfs~) , but none of them is like that .. Infact , their parents also know me and accept wat kind of person I am ..
 
Celest,

There are a lot people like this out there. Sometimes it really takes years to see their true colours. This is just too small a matter to flare up. I think you deserve better friends.
happy.gif
 
celestine..sorry to say but your that friend is very xiao qi lor..miss out one birthday celebration is no big deal at all mah..can always make it up another day when all are possible in another form like a dinner or dessert..matters is the good company cos now every one working adults already mah not some sec sch children can go means can go.. Depend on individual but i feel if i got such a friend, i rather hv no friends at all..
 
Celest

No, she never go thru any MC before.
in fact, her kids quite big le.... and she is not young also... she 10 years older than me...
But yet she sound so easy when she tell me MC is small issue....

Ya, actually a True Good Friend, One is enough.
If I have thousands of friends, but None is good, then no point having any friend at all...

Most important is our hubbies, they are our best friends
happy.gif
 
ChrisL ,

Used to .. Now I don't club , don't drink , don't smoke , got hubby le , so no more bfs ... Very big change in my life now .. And it's so hard to date me out now , tink all my friend also give up asking me out .. Hahaha ..
 
Tomomi,
Used to occur this thing too.
Once it happen to my laptop while I'm working half way & it totally die on me. Piss! Haha!

Princess, ChrisL & Jhw,
Thanks for ur support... Big hug hug!
At first I'm really feeling bad for hurting her. But think over, it such a small matter to flare up. As wat u said, we are working adult. I dun own the company, how can i able to apply a leaves in such short notices. Plus bcos of MC etc... My leaves left less than 10 days for this year. I dun mind taking a leaves but got be reasonable. She only cfm the date 3 working days, wat she expect me to do. End up been blame for not taking my leaves earlier. Haiz!! Continue she wan behave such a princess, then I have to sorry to this friendship. Friendship shd be like a two way traffic. If it all abt the bday girl, I'm speechless.

Thanks for the support dearest! Make me feel so much better. Mucks!
 
Jhw,
Sorry to say that. She nv been thru the lost, she got no right to comment cos she nv able to understand the pain.
Totally agree with u, hubby is our true best friend. Cheers to all hubby here. Hehehe!
 
Sometimes, i think pple say miscarriage is a small thing cos they don't want us to feel that our life is over cos of that.. It's like,.they wanna tell us there's still hope but they don't know how to phrase it nicely.. My mum's one of the pple who said that to me but she's always been quite insensitive so i'm used to it la.. Haha.. What to do, just ignore lor.. I tell myself hubby love me most important..
 
Celest,

Ya agree with the gals.. Just leave it for now.. She's old enough to think for herself and see how the matter was blown out of proportion..
 
Min81,

Hmmm, come to think of it, wat u say may be true too....
She jus dunno how to console n use the wrong word.... but as celest mentioned , she dunno how we all feel n wat we went thru, so she use the wrong word....

Celest,

Ya, not only your company ....my company too... i cannot take,leave within such short notice too... its ridiculous to assume that we can take leave so easily n hv such high expectations ....
 
Jhw,

Ya some pple very insensitive.. I remember last time was chatting with colleague.. Tokking abt fertility stuff cos she kinda knew my probs and giving advice cos she got 2 kids.. Den i just commented hope govt can give more subsidy or at least allow medisave deductions for more than 3 cycles.. Cos now only allowed for 3 cycles.. She said i should be grateful to the govt that there is subsidy at all and can use medisave.. Obviously, i didn't talk to her much after that.. Haha..
 
Celestine,

As what Jhw said, yes on small matter or issue you are really able to see what true frens are! After my MC and Op and many incidents happen in my life, I can fully know who are the one who cares so much for me.... Like me when I was in hospital one of my ex colleague came to visit me and boiled chicken soup for me after my op. I was so touched as I used to scold her when she was working with us due to work but yet she came and visit me. And all the frens and relatives who care for me. These are the people that we should treasure and not waste time on people who are so petty.

Your fren is so childish, why do frens need to take leave and accompany you on your birthday especially it is so last min notice and she got hb isnt her hb suppose to be with her on her brithday. She should be glad that you and your fren actually take the effort to take leave and meet her for dinner. And after the whole event you still make the effort to explain to her. And the other fren who is double snake, forget about her, this type of fren is not worth it. She should be the peace maker and not adding oil and fire into the whole issue. Just let her be till she calls you. Because true fren are the one who should understand, care and forgiving one another. Sad to say even if you two are frens again the relationship will not be as well again becos there is always a scar and you will be so afraid and careful in talking to her in order not to let the friendship goes wrong instead of truthful.

I remember you did put this issue a few weeks ago and was withdrawn so I didnt have a chance to tell you the other time. Hee Hee.

For my leave, we have to block way before hand and we must co ordinate within 6 people. That is also the reason why I have missed out a lot of my son's event for the last 8 years. Imagine for his kindergarten graduation performance I also cant take leave and to me this is a small matter especially with so such notice.

Tomomi,

Me also a party person. Till now once in a while I will still go clubbing and going out with frens as I find I still need my own life...
 
Min81
I think your fren must be very pro govt...
Sad to say that i am not pro govt haha
But its not up to her to comment abt tt at all and i dun even think ppl are asking for her comment
 
Jhw,

I was in civil service ma.. Hehe.. But i'm also not pro-govt.. Lucky left already.. Haha.. But from wat she says, i think wat she feels is that fertility issue is our own prob, why should we expect any help at all.. Well, she had 2 kids with no prob, so won't understand also.. Anyway, i didn't need to work closely with her so i also can't be bothered..
 
Min81, Jhw & ling,
I'm truly so blessed to have this group.
Knowing someone able understand how I feel n support one another, make me felt so bless.

Tat bday girl does have a hubby.
Every year she been complaining how her hubby neglect her bday etc. But the fact is, her hubby already try all ways to please her. Only that her expectation is so high tat so hard to pleases. So 1 mth before hand we arrange to bring her to USS n have fun. At time she couldn't cfm the date n only left us 3 working days to apply. Haiz!!

Since we have tried our bests to save this friendship, only can wait for her to come back to sense. If she felt tat two headed snake is best friend to her, then I can't do anything.
Agree with all of u, friend shd be understanding, caring n forgiving toward one another. Scar will sure be there... I can't erase them. Even aft if we have chance to patch back, it wouldn't be the same anymore. Every words n step I need to think of her... It so tiring to even think.
 
Min81

Luckily u no need to work with her anymore!!! Cannot imagine how much hurting words she will continue saying...

Celest,
ya u gals are great... only u all understand how i feel...Lets be kind to ourselves and dun bother abt ppl who are not worth our attention
So i really wish everyone can graduate soon... then next time we can all talk about kids !!! Hehe
 
Ling n Jhw,
Paisia! Deleted the post is bcos that bday girl is quite active in the motherforum too.
Tat time dun wish to let her see n might hurt her again.
Now I'm posting bcos I really cannot tahan anymore. Hehe!

Thanks Jhw! I truly wish all of us can gather again on 2013 mother-to-be forum. Jiayou all of us!!
 
Celest,

I understand. I also cannot tahan then I dun care and post here. One of my sil is active here. I hope she saw the posts I posted about their bad-doings.

JIAYOU everyone!!! Hope to hear good news from this thread, to give us some hopes
happy.gif
 
Princess,
Thanks! I'm very gladfully for this forum.
U girls able to understand more then my 6 years of friendship. Altot we nv meet before. Hehe!
Jiayou Jiayou! Hope to hear good news from anyone of u soon. I need a good boost too. Hehe!
 
Celest, princess, ladies, not sure if u all know, there is one 2ww thread... i just joined though i dun really know wat 2ww is but i guess its for ttcing mummies... i just joined their list for fun... since we all ttcing, u gals may wan to join too hehe
 
jhw,

Yes, I saw that thread long ago. But holding back to join cos now R&R mode. Very stressed to join that thread as the gals are very on to record ttc process like bbt etc. I quit doing that le.
 
Princessleopard,

Ya i get what you mean.. Actually now i never look out for any symptoms during 2ww already.. I just take every 2ww as a possibility and stop jogging.. Then when af comes i know that cycle is over.. I tell myself unless i'm late for 4-5 days then i'll check hpt.. But until now no chance to test, cos my af has been reporting very punctually after my mc..
 
Just went n readed thru the forum.
Agree with princess.. They very intenses to record all the date etc. Felt some stress too. Hehe!
What I did was same as Min81. I will only record my AF into my apps. For my mucus, I try to record too bcos I'm still on the natural family planning. They are guiding me how to see my mucus. If my AF is late for 1 weeks or later, then I will pick up my courage to test. Hate to feel disappointment.
 
okok.... then i better dun go in there too often to stress myself... actually i never record anything except AF dates...think i better take R & R approach too
 
btw what is Mucus ?
my friend ask dr su before how to know she is ovulating.... dr su say as long as u have to urge to "ML" then it means u are ovulating... she is really humourous hahaha
 
Hi all,

Today went to NUH to see Prof Mahesh my gynea refer me to see him to do investigation was shock to see the whole list of test to do. Nov going back to see prof Mahesh hope everything will go smoothly. Altot pocket burn a big hole really hope everything i pay will worth it.
 
Mucus is a watery or cloudy discharge tat come out on ur V.
Before ur O date, u will notice tat the mucus become like egg white. It the best time to ML. As sperm takes time to swim n meet our egg. Egg will only stay outside for 24hr. But if u ML before the O n egg white mucus, the sperm will stay inside for ard 2 to 3 day until ur egg come out.

Sadly, after I reach 30+. My mucus is hardly seen or even nothing, so I'm keeping close contact with the trainer for NFP. Nowadays aft clomid, my mucus did come out more. Hope it maintain this way.
 
Piky,
Why ur gynea refer u? Did u request for it? How much huh?
I did request for the tests, but my gynea telling me if I had more then 3 MC then he will strongly recommend.
 
min81, jhw, celest,

Ya, that's why I keep myself away from that thread. Maybe before the mc, I might join in. But now energy level low...haha. I just think R&R, naturally better + tcm.

Celest,

Me too, I find that after 30, mucus not so obvious compare to before. Before 30, I find that I can tell when I am ovulating from the mucus. Now I really cannot tell unless use OPK.
 
Celestine, my gynea refer me to Prof Mahesh cos he is into recurrent miscarriage and mine is the 3rd M/C so he recommend me to do those test for my side today i paid
Consultation $123.05
Culture and Sensitivity, Urine, Aerobic $42.80
Urine Formed Elements $13.91
The rest of the test haven do so i not very sure

My hb doing Cytogenetics blood test cost$470.80
Sperm DNA fragmentation test $149.80
 
Princess,
Keep thing simple could be the key to success.
No point stressing ourselves for those numbers... *^^*
Aft I'm on clomid, my mucus seems to get better. I duno wat the effect but could be my hormones back on track n improve it. Hope tat when I stop clomid, I wouldn't have mucus problem too. Heard my trainer saying, best to ML 2 days before ovulation. Which must detach mucus loh.. Mucus allow our hubby troop to stay outside the door until egg are open.

Piky,
Ohic... Best of luck to u!!
The test is really scary expensive wor!
You able to charger thru medisave? Jiayou dear!!
 
Celestine, sad thing is we cant pay thru medisave. Now i have to work hard to earn more and pay for the test.
 
Piky,
With such a huge amount is scary. Jiayou Jiayou!!
Think over, money can be earn back but health is most imp.
 
Piky,

Don't worry.. You will just feel some discomfort.. Shouldn't be painful.. Just relax when doc putting the speculum..
 

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