Support group - Miscarriages

Anyone has recommendation in TCM. Thought of seeing one to tiao me and my husband's body.

What should we do during the mini confinement? Can I go back to desk bound work? Anybody can advise what to look out during mini confinement. I am leading normal activities except to eat my mum's confinement food with lots of ginger and seseme oil.
 


Dana >> I'm also nearing forties and all the more feel the pressing urge to hold my own baby. Tried for about 1.5 years before conceiving naturally. Like you, i was also given the same reason by my gynae. She went one more step by sending the remains of my D&C for test to make sure it is not chromosome fault. She did offered us the option of further tests (only on our asking but not recommended by her since it's 1st mc) but we decided to skip more tests as we want to try again since considering the test is unlikely to come back 100% saying no. Don't be discouraged, we are all here to share and lend each other strength to pull through.

Verre >> I agree with Truffleapple. My gynae advised D&C vs. natural mc. She explained that it could be terribly painful and dramatic like what we see on tv. I went through D&C, it was a half-day surgery with little physical pain. I waited two weeks and a second opinion before doing D&C immediately the same day. It was hard for me to accept it and tears just silently rolled down my cheeks. Hard as it was, i knew i had to do it to keep my body healthy for the next bb.

Truffleapple >> I ordered confinement catering and drank red date drink for two weeks. Hot bath. No housework. Lots of rest. Didn't go out much during that two weeks. Otherwise, life is as per normal. But it took about a month before i felt my body regaining its normal strength.
 
Truffleapple,
It is perfectly normal to feel sore of losing your bb. I'm still feeling sore esp seeing 2 SILs having trouble free preg. If this had not happen, I would be doing my confinement now. Sad... I seems to take more time to get over the loss this time. I think I'm emotionally not ready yet. But really stress as I'm approaching 37 this yr. Time is running out.

Dana, May,
If only 1 MC, could be just bad luck. Try again. I had my son after 1 MC. Unfortunately, had 3 more MC after him.
 
Truffleapple, I am currently on TCM at Racecourse road (near serangoon). The sinseh stations at Tampines Branch one of the weekdays (I can't remember which day) If the area is ok with you, let me know and I'll pm you the details.

Athen, same here, am still feeling upset even till now. Thought I've walk out of the unhappiness but apparently not, seems that I've been living in self-denial.

Emotionally still cannot take it when good news from good friends come one after another. Recieve one last fri... saw a FB post last Sat ... another good friend announce yesterday. It all came one after another and it hit me really hard. Am happy for them of course, but still couldn't help but feel upset.
 
Dear Sisters - Thanks very much for the responses and the reassurances. Give me much comfort. Hope we all have better luck next time soon
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Tub - Nope, have not done karotyping. Dr told us it is a case of bad luck, bad egg or sperm. Anyway, I am seeing him next week. Will ask him if nec to do tests. I want to be more kiasu due to my age.

Sarina - Thanks. Yup, I did a mini confinement and took a bottle of chicken essence everyday. Hope to hear good news from you soon.

Verre - Hi, I think you have the same condition as me. My dr's advice was to do an evac of uterus (not sure is it the same as d&c, but my dr used this term). He said to wait for natural discharge may result in emergency case and the proc may still need to be done. For me, the proc was over very quickly and no pain after the anaesthesia wears off. Take care!

May - Good to find someone of the same age group
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I didn't request, so not sure if it is too late now to test for chromosome fault (my proc was last week). Thanks for sharing and support. Jiayou!
 
Athen - You take care. You have a miracle (your son). It will happen again!

mommytq - I find keeping myself occupied is a good way of numbing. Not the best method but beats having the mind wondering
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Take care!
 
mommytq - I feel you, lately I been surrounded by pregnant women among my close contacts. Im happy for them, but at the same time I could not accept the fact that why me have to suffer 2 MCs. I keep thinking they dont exercise, they eat unhealthy foods, some even smoke and they happily eat the taboo food during their 1st trimester but still they can carry the preg to full term. Yet, here I am trying to control myself to avoid those unhealthy foods and taking supplements and spending money on TCM and gynae just to figure things out. What an irony, but life is such I guess. Let's pray with all these efforts we are putting in, we all will get to cradle that baby that we have been looking forward to.. cheers!
 
Christine, what policy did u buy from NTUC ? Think ur plan is good since can claim.

I'm trying to claim from my company's insurance. They require my Dr to sign on a form & my Dr is charging $120 for that signature ... Did ur ever came across this procedure ??
 
Hopefully: mine is income shield enhanced plan. My dad bough it for me. Who knows it really came in use so soon for a dnc not a labour...
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Hi Christine,

Your income Insurance plan is good.

Got one prudential insurance for preggie lady.

Went back to office. Discovered more preggie ladies. Worse still, there is a lady which I dun really like. I cannot help but envy. sign. Is this the normal feeling huh?
 
Sunbelle: yeah... My insurance all my dad incharge. So haha.. He decide the best for me n my future.

Hmm.. I have the same feeling. I had got a friend whose wife gave birth during cny this yr. Whenever i see him upload photos of his bb gal on facebook. I tend to get abit emotional and ended up removing the post. Not seeing it is better than making my heart breaks.

I think the feeling will only go away once we are preggie again n successfully give birth to a bb.
 
Christine,

I'm also with NTUC Income Shield. Mine is under Prefered Plan with Rider. Meaning fully claimable if stay in Pte hosp. All my D&C cost claimable. But I don think can claim delivery charges.

Met a neighbour yeterday. She said I should try for a gal since I have a boy already. I feel really sad. Not that I don want to have a gal, I'm not successful!! If only I can have 2nd one, I don mind the gender. I'm also upset with frens posting bb pics on facebook.
 
Sigh, my close friend just annouced her 12 weeks pregnancy after 3 years of TTC. She went for IVF. Happy for her but........sad for myself. And, tomorrow is my due date, sad man.
 
Hi all,

I was also with NTUC income shield but under Advantage plan, so had to pay a portion of the D&C fee via medisave.

I sometimes avoid reading/looking at bb pics in facebook if i'm moody. It's not good if you are not emotionally ready to see a pregnant woman or couples carrying their newborn baby.

Initially, after i lost the baby, I found myself feeling v. nauseous whenever i met any pregnant lady with a big tummy on the street. Also I felt the same nausea when i revisit certain 'food haunts' (e.g. food courts) that reminds of the times i had to eat my meals there while preggo.

2mths on...nowadays, it is not so bad le. Whenever I start to feel that heartache, I will stop all the negative thought and focus on something (e.g. a hobby, interest, family etc).

I use a lot of positive self-talk to motivate myself and somehow it helps me to feel more positive and happy. Positive self-talk will create positive energy in a person.

These days, I do feel happy for others whenever they welcome a newborn into their family. I feel that I have already tried my best. I try not to give myself too great expectations and just have fun in life.
 
Hello ladies, just wondering if you would do anything special for the little angels up there on their edd ... ? Or should we move on and just keep them deep in our hearts ...
 
Hey ladies, how are you? Been buried under work for the past few weeks.

By the way, my 2nd af arrived! Which is about 6 days early if i were to compare with my usual cycle days. I assumed that's good news since for my first AF i waited like so long! so now keeping finger cross, i probably will start trying on the 3rd to 4th cycle in between then.

Been taking royal jelly, folic acid and a supplement call Active Pollen Extract. Can see the difference as in for the 1st and 2nd AF, not much menses cramp and the flow is quite normal. Also felt much more alert after taking Royal Jelly. haha so amazing.

Hi Mommytq, I am intending to release balloons on my baby boy's EDD. Lately kind of feeling emo again, sigh... Is almost 3 to 4 months since he've left me.
 
I've check mine is not D&C but called D&E means Evac of uterus. I google and it seems both are quite similar procedure except that Evac is for more than 12weeks. But I find strange cos mine baby is only abt 10 weeks so dun understand why Dr put me on Evac. BTW, mine is IVF baby.

Christian & Athen,
Do you required to stay in hospital or is a day surgery? If so, I should go and check with my insurance company whether they cover mine.

Hi Happy,
May I know what's the effect of taking royal jelly and active pollen extract? I am interested to take supplements to strengthen my health so that I can try again
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Ladies,

I guess its really not easy for all of us. Esp. When our edd are so near yet our tummy are flat and our bbs had already became angels in heaven.

I had no intend on doing anything for my little angel cos i know by the time the edd is here, i am already preggie with another little angel.

I hope... That was wat i told myself. I will bring my bb gal back before the edd in june.

Happy, its a good news for u. My af had been delayed every month. I used to be havig a 28days cycle every month and now... 32 days.. Tomorrow will be my 3rd af arrival.. But i doubt its coming. No much feel on its arrival..

Im demoralised with long cycles.i used to be so normal... But now.. I feel like an old woman... I try all ways to keep my hormones balance already.

Exercising, healthy diet, enough amount of sleep everyday, taking my supplements daily, drinking only plain water, no cold drinks or food. Anything processed i keep out.

But my body just seems to be so not regular... Hais...

Still hoping after the af this month i can start to ttc again but at this rate, i guess i can only wait n go for check up back with my gynae n see what he says...
 
Christine,

Have you tried Bai Fong Wan? I used to have irregular menses of 37 days to 52 days and after taking Bai Fong Wan, my menses is much accurate and less menses cramp. But strangely if I didn't take for that particular month, my menses go hay wire again.
 
Truffleapple,

Mine was a day surgery. Which insurance co? I read my policy, actually D&C is not covered. Not sure why I got the claim. My fren who was using Great Eastern did not get the claim.
 
Trufflepie: i dont feel like depending on pills to regulate my menses leh... Cos i used to be very regular.. Its still regular but my cycles became 4 days later. So, i feel abit down.

I did my surgery at night. Cos it was consider an emergency.

Regarding dnc or dne actually, this the same thing. Its just that their medical terms are different but more or less the same.

The doc consider which method is the best for you not by how much ur bb had grown. But when was it detected to have no hb or empty sac.

My bb was only 9 weeks old but when it was detected was already 12 weeks. So im consider in my 2nd trimester, so i have to go thru dnc or you call it the dne.

I have to evac my fetus first and then the clearing up of the wall tissue in the uterus that is when your uterus is consider 100% clear.
 
Athen: i think ntuc provide the best policy so far.. I bought prudential policy too but cant claim. Only my ntuc income shield advanced plan policy works best.
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only need to pay $250 a month. Which is good.
 
Happy : i have the same thoughts of the balloon thingy too. Something akin to "fang tian deng" hehe. Hope my angels will like them..
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Thanks Beowie, I will try to have more positive talk to myself to come out from the current down. This time is very bad ... Because the edd of these friends all fall in Sep, which my little angel is suppose to due too
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Hope all of us have a safelanding for the next ttc !
 
Hi Truffleapple, Royal jelly is said to help in the fertility and boost a healthier eggs production and sperms too. So both my hubby and I had been taking the royal jelly cos we intend to conceive after my 3rd cycle.

This active pollen extract was bought by my mom. She said is good to tone and strengthen my womb. But becos there had been so much supplements going on, i kind of alternate my pills, folic acid, rj and this pollen extract.

Haha also said to prevent aging. so i guess is a good thing
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Christine, you are really positive! I have this feeling I may get pregnant the same time i was pregnant with my little boy last year October. Work is quite xiong these days, if I get pregnant, I might not be able to take very good care of myself again.

Keep it positive girls!
 
Happy: hmmm.. That is the only thing that kept me going.. But my af problem is making me upset every month. Plus i dare not ttc until i get my body checked with my gynae.

Make sure he says everything is fine, and i can carry on with ttc. But i have to get over with my 3rd af first... I hope it really comes on time tomorrow.

Hate the anxious feeling every month... Hais.... Its a torture. Its th first time in my life i hope my af would come on time every month. I used tp feel tat af is irritating but now... I felt that af is a good thing.
 
Christine,

Are you sure you are paying $250 per month? I paid a few hundred a yr including cash rider not a month for income shield.

Try to relax. The more anxious you are the longer the delay of af. Having af is a good thing. During af system is under maintenance.
 
Athen: yup... That is what i saw on the letter. Not sure also. Maybe is additional charges.

Hmmm... Sian.... My af really didnt come. My hub say to go back to the gynae. Ask him what really happen to my body. My hub got pissed off also, cos of my irregular period every month, he find it hard to be in bed with me cos my mood will be totally affected.

When im a step closer to ttc, sure there will be something blocking me, eventually extended my chance of ttc... Hais
 
Christine,
MC will throw our system really haywire. Mine is a very good example. After menses, got spotting for like 6 - 8 days then clear. My cycle is now 28 days - 32 days. B4 MC, I don have problem. Menses very regular 28 days. I even know when is my fertile period. Now is a mess up. I don have this problem when I had my 1st, 2nd & 3rd MC leh.

Seeing gynae will not really help unless you want to take med to regulate your menses. It sometimes take time to go back to normal.
 
Athen: ya lor, i used to be very regular also. Now stretch to 32 days cycle. Really mess up my dates alot. And make me feel like my eggs will be overdue becos i ovulate slightly later.

I just found out that my af just started right after my exercise. See.... Its really irritating.

I dont see anymore 28days cycle but as 32 days cycle.... I guess it will stay that way le... I really missed the days when i have such regular cycle. Was so proud of it. My hub can eventually help me count which are the days i have af n all hit on the spot.
 
Happy: hmmm... Ya.. Intend to go another holiday trip in april or may... Shall get checked before the trip and go on with bb making!! Waiting too long... Almost half a yr le... Hais...
 
Hi christine - I think 32 days cycle is ok. As long as you are ovulating and have your monthly cycles, it's a sign that your body is still functioning and very fertile. Moreover, you are still in your twenties, so your eggs are still very young, i'm envious haha. :p

Hi Happy,

I'm also feeling rather stressed right now with work, it is very challenging. I wonder if stress can cause miscarriages?


I'm expecting my AF this Friday. It will be my 2nd AF... anyone else expecting AF this week?
 
Mommytq, I haven't really thought deeply about my little angel in heaven for a while. Guess it's my way of coping with my loss.

I have been refocusing my time on other things - work, playing games, watching movies, dramas etc.

I do feel so sad thinking about the miscarriage right now, yet I also feel so helpless, out of control. Later, i'd probably think 'Argh... just heck it....' and focus on something.

A tear or two will sometimes fall when I think about it... but usually, i will find something like 'look at the people suffering in japan right now and how strong they are to go through that' and then i'd tell myself 'I'm very lucky already, so be strong Girl'!
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Truffleapple, sorry to hear about ur loss. My baby was roughly 10 weeks too when it lost its heartbeat. Strange that it was D&E as mine was D&C. But I remember that mine was diagnosed as a miscarriage and there was something written on the hospital note that stated 'evacuation of the uterus' also
So could D&C and D&E mean the same thing??? It should both be claimable as it is miscarriage.

I also took Bai Feng Wan for a few months prior to my conception tat time. I am not sure if it helps me to regulate my cycle though... my cycles are between 32-35 days. With Bai Feng Wan, it is still usually within 32-35 days...

I tried Clomid, and I find that it helps to regulate it to 32 days.
 
Beowie,

Same same. I was told bb's heartbeat stop on Thurs, 1 day before Japan earthquake. On Fri I saw the news and told myself I am consider lucky already. So face it. Afterall, I believe this will be my first and last miscarriage. Guess this way of consoling ourselves make us feel better ba.

I am also quite puzzle as I thought all along should be D&C since my 1st gynae told me. But when I consult another gynae at KKH, then I realised mine is called D&E on the surgery day. I asked the KKH gynae and was told it is quite similar as D&C. I've check D&E is more for 12 weeks and above. Maybe ours babies are coming to 12 weeks.

My cycle irregular. If take BFW, the cycle ard 32-35 days but if I don't take, my cycle can stretch to almost 2months. I heard Clomid not advisable to take more than 3 or 4mths as it can thin our lining and will cause embryos can't attach well.
 
Bibi, Ling, Tub,

Went to NUH for review of blood test results yesterday. Only saw Dr Vasoo. Dr Mahesh was tied up in a meeting. As expected, there is nothing wrong with me. The only solution is to monitor my Protein S to ensure that it does not drop too much during preg. If necessary, I'll be put on herapin. Meanwhile, I'm to continue with 2 folic acid 2 x a day. Dr Vasoo is concern with my Aspirin intake she feels that 100mg aspirin on alternate day is not enough for me. She wants me to try for daily Aspirin & if I get spotting while taking aspirin, I should revert back on alternate day. Sigh...

Hopefully, NUH does not conflict with advise given by my gynae.

Surprisingly, my waiting time yesterday was only 20 mins & paying billing is also very fast. Maybe is due to my email complain?
 
Hi Athen,

Like that give you confidence to try? I am going to attempt this cycle provided I can O.. LOL~ did your spotting stop when you stop the aspirin?
 
Hi Ling,

My spotting did decrease to abt 6 - 8 days when I'm on alternate day aspirin. When I was on daily aspirin, spotting was like 20 days.

I have not overcome my psychological barrier to TTC. Will see how it goes. sigh...
 
Hi Athen, glad to know your results are good. Hope u will get the confidence to ttc ya. It will take a while. My period was late last mth and i had a scare coz i scared bfp as i wasnt on any protection. Heng it came, so i gather im not prepared too thus the scare lor.

Ling - jiayou! Hope u O soon. I tried BBT to estimate my O but it was so erratic coz i had fever last week. I tink i only will TTC after june. I be meeting Dr geraldine as ur recommendation nx week, want to check if my insides are in good condition or need to be serviced hehe
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Can I ask something? Yesterday when I went for my gynae visit, gynae said that my bb is 8 weeks but no heartbeat. He suggested D&C. I'm not keen and am willing to wait it out to miscarry naturally. Anyone with the same experience? And how long did you wait?
 
Athen,

Take it as it come ba... Why cannot after O than start the Aspirin? Will it be too late?

Sarina,

Think you would like Dr Tan! =)) Pretty assuring and I like her plenty.. I agree rest and be mentally prepared for the next pregnancy.. I was begining to think that my last 2nd and 3rd pregnancies possible so close and all kenna the defected eggs during that period hence all MC-ed

Hi Ashley, I had the natural MC for twice. To let it come naturally might take longer than usual because my 1st pregnancy even thought hb stop since week 10 I only discover at week 12 scan with no spotting.

For my natural MC I was prescribe cycotec by gynae to start the dilation and thus able to purge the sac rather fast. Once you take cyoctec it may take a couple of hours if you are fast to purge everything out. In my opinion not that painful for me and I have a rather low treshold of pain. It was like a really heavy period. Once the sac is purge the flow will pretty much be the same. Otherwise during this time must ensure no fever to rule out infection. Protocol is to go back to gynae after 2 weeks to see if everytthing is purged from the womb. I see the girls are rather pro D&C here but I much prefer natural MC because it is less taxing to the body and I had literally no downtime. While with D&C I took about a month to really recover and the fear of ashermans syndrome was horrendous.
 
Sarina,

Me too. I was really scared last mth as condom slipped out when hubby withdrawing. Thank god not preg.

Ling,

According to Dr Vasoo, best to take aspirin 1 mth b4 ttc. So if take after O, could be too late. Sigh, just let nature decide.

Ashley,

If can do natural MC, would be good. From my experience, my body tried to expel the sac but unsuccessful. Really painful. Did D&C in the end. It really depend on individual. Like what Ling mentioned, need to ensure no infection. Take care.
 
Was hoping to ttc this cycle but had a bad bout of flu so hold back till next cycle.

Ashely > No experience with natural MC. Gynae did gave us option but after some consideration, we opted for D&C. For my case, life went on normal after D&C. No pain nor fever. No blood clots. To each its own i would say.
 


Ashley - l've done both natural and d&c, if i can choose i prefer natural as per ling's reason. But natural good if u hv started bleeding then process will b fast. I don like cytotec coz it makes me bleed so much n bad diarhoea. But if ur body have no sign of expelling the sac, better to go d&c as it is unhealthy for it to stay too long in ur womb.

Athen - at least ur hub wear condom, mine refuse leh prefer withdrawal but always when too high forget to withdraw, cham.

Ling - yup looking forward to the appt eventhough gg alone as hub on resevist. I plan to tcc after my trip in may provided gynae gv the go sign. I think 6 mths break shd b ok.
 
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