Support group - Miscarriages

Ladies,

Thank you so much for your comforting words.....yesterday I tot I was quite fine liao...bt when I took out the 2 ultrascan of my bb..tears flew again..I know that I have to get over this and move on....

Lala,
Thanks....gynae fixed D&C next tues as I told her I wanted to have some'moments'with my lost bb and I tot maybe I can monitor these few days if it would bleed naturally....mine is a 'missed abortion'so bb is stil in me..though it is not longer alive...

I will definitely do a good mini confinement to nurse back my health...thanks my dear elmo for the receipe!!
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mei,

happy 'belated'chinese birthday!so when is your 'ang mo'birthday?too bad this is going to a very upset and negative birthday for me...my birthday is next fri...

I am coping a bit better...just that I can't stand darkness..got to keep myself occupy...been clearing the rubbish at my hse..doing housework....cos after tues..i wil have to rest well liao..
 


mei,

saw the post too late. happy belated birthday. ur gynae is very emotional huh, is ur gynae a lady one. so can the patient still conceive after both her tubes are cut..??
 
choo, it's very normal that your tears flow. We'll always miss them but as time goes by we'll miss them in a more peaceful and clam manner. At this time when the wound is so raw, it's inevitable that we get more emotional, but with time I believe, we can keep them in our hearts with peace. Take time to heal, don rush yourself. I remember someone once said, healing a wound is like trying to fall asleep. The moer you think abt trying to sleep, teh less likely you'll fall asleep, so it's the same, the more you think about getting out of this sad episode the more you'll remember the pain. So let time heal you.
 
morning babes
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choo.. my "ang mo" bday @ last fri,
dun stop urself from crying ok.. cry as much as u want.. must really take care..
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coral.. no choice le.. coz infection, and her BHCG is so high.. 6000 leh.. really pity lor.. no choice oso..

hi gardeline, gynae is a she.. hehehe
can conceive through only IVF lor..
 
gardeline.. my gynae is Dr Yvoone Soong @ TMC

ya.. the patient is ery sad lor.. no choice oso..
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thats y gynae feel sad oso
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intro my best frd to my gynae and she's pleased with her.. keke :p
 
So sad for that lady, only consolation is she may still hv bb thru IVF. Pray that she's stronger.

Thanks Gardeline, I called nurse, she say monitor, if got heavy bleeding or fresh blood then go see doc. Will see how lor. Women's body damn complicated.
 
Hi girls,

sorry MIA all morning waiting at clinic for bloodtest to see if myfirst MTX injection worked. Hcg only went donw by very little so had a second injection and then blood test again next week. I really become pin cushion already. Poke and poke by needle so many times.

Gardeline, glad you have nice bosses. Very important. Pay isnt everything. I know a lot of very wellpaid people who hate their job and everyday is a chore.

Hi Lala, welcome back. Thanks for the advice on mini-confinement. I'm quite blur about what to do. I really miss having a family to give me advice on how to take care of health or what a mini-confinement is. I very rubbish, still eating instant noodles, chicken nuggest and chocoloate cookies for lunch. I must try to do buy some healthy tonic stuff. Heard so much about the difference it makes.

Mei, happy belated bdaY!!!! Hope you're feeling ok after the jab. So far no side effects i hope? Get lots of rest coz you do get quite tired from the jab. Dunno why.

Hi Coral, Happy Pretty Day! Hehehee. I also have my "pretty" and "fat" days. Dont worry lah, 3 kg not much. So nice to have breakfast w hubby hor? Hubby and I thinking of going for ncie breakfast this weekend at botanical gardens. Yay.

Hi Choo, good you're keeping your mind busy. Why dont you buy lots of happy books or dvds to occupy yourself after your surgery so you wont be so sad. Can also come online also and chit chat about rubbish with us.
 
Hi ladies,
Finally managed to locate this thread.

I had miscarriaged for almost 2 weeks now. Was then bleeding non stop with lotsa blood clots and bad cramp. Wasn't asked to wash away but doc said my lining was not thick so could let it drop naturally. Given 2+ weeks of mc to rest at home.

I was told tat m/c cause health to be weaker as compared to after-birth. Tat's why confinement is more neccessary for m/c. Have been taking logan+red dates+ginger tea since then. Does anyone knows how does this tea help? I also have to take some kinda tonic wine, dome and chicken essence everyday. Till date I'm still taking folic acid too.

After tat I didn't really lie on the bed much cos it's too boring. Was later told by a malay massage lady that my womb had dropped down. She'd help me to push the womb back to original position, saying tat if womb too low will cause m/c again. Asked me to take care too cos my womb very weak. Can anyone advise wat can I take to "bu" my health and womb? I just bought multivitamins from Nature Farm, can I take them AND chinese medicines/tonics too? Wat are the things I should or shouldn't do? And wat food to take or avoid?
 
hi jullchae,
so sorry to hear about your loss.
how many weeks were you pregnant before the m/c happen? hope you are ok emotionally..
did your doctor ask you to go back for a check-up to make sure everything's ok after 2 weeks? with regard to the womb dropping down, better to go let a gynae check and determine if it is really so. usually, if you are not heavily pregnant, womb won't really drop down, so better let a doctor check. but important thing is after m/c, you should not carry heavy things and do strenous exercises as this will exert additional pressure on the pelvic and weaken the womb further. just try and rest as much as possible, eat lots of fruits and vegetables to aid healing (this is from the western doctors). but from the chinese side, what you have been taking seems to be good! maybe after your bleeding has stopped can take ginseng and tang gwei. but make sure only take when you're not bleeding, coz these herbs can aggravate bleeding.
 
Hi...All

I'm Wendy...Found this thread...

I just had my D&C last Tues and till now, could not really sleep well....

Though this is my 2nd baby (10wks) as my first darling is already in K2....I m pretty upset as all of us are looking forward....

My hubby appeared to be strong but when I was being wheeled into the theatre for D&C, his eyes were watery and only after D&C...he told me he is very hurt that seeing me having bad MS for the last 2 months and now we have lost our bb....

Our darling princess is pretty upset and keep asking 'whys"......

Since I am a SAHM, i m taking plenty of rest and my mum had been cooking confinment dishes for me...

Any advise when could i get back to exercise and what should avoid...and when is the right time to have normal activities again...

chaos
wendy

Nevertheless, i had a good gynae, Dr Adrian Woodworth to give me ample advise and encouragement....
 
Bellybutton,
I was 5 weeks pregnant then. Couldn't see any sac or wateva, just could tell the lining had thickened. I was emotionally prepared at 5th week cos suddenly got sixth sense I might drop it.

My bleeding lasted only about a week. By the way, how should I cook the ginseng or dang-kwey?
 
Coral,

thanks!
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actually i felt that i am coping and feeling so much better liao...I have learnt to accept the fact that this bb is not meant to be us....hubby and I will remember our bb fondly....my tears are dry now...just heart ache...but with so many family members supporting me....I shd feel positive and try to get over this...

mei,

yup remember we are both Virgos!!me getting better and stronger as of now..but may feel emotional again on Tues when I do my D&C...but will be strong!

wendy,

felt teary when I read your post....but you are such strong mummy!!Please have a good confinement and nurse back your health!Good thing u are a SAHM...so can rest really well...

for D&C...gynae sure give 2weeks mc?if i feel much better can go back to work earlier?
and the 2weeks confinement food those ginger chicken,pork liver all taken for dinner?Lunch?brakfast shd be just normal bread? *pai sey!so many qns!*....

Ladies,

will most likely log in on tues night after my D&C....tomorrow my dearest cousin will take half day leave to accompany me in the afternoon....
 
hi jullchae,
oic..5 weeks is very early, so dun think your womb can drop down so easily unless you have been carrying heavy things. better let your gynae check.
ginseng can cook soup with chicken, the same way as you cook herbal chicken soup just that you add ginseng inside. not so sure about dang kwey though. maybe other girls here can advise..

hi wendy,
sorry to hear about your loss. everyone will be sad, no matter how many children they already have. especially so when you have all been looking forward so much to this new addition to the family. glad that your have found a good gynae whom you can trust. i was advised by my gynae to avoid strenous exercise, korean ginseng, dang gwei, red dates and alcohol for one month after d&c. also, if you intend to try for another baby, should only do so after 3 menstrual cycles.
also after the d&c, eat lots of fruits and vegetables.
 
Hi Choo,

After D&C, i suggest you to have a complete bed rest for at least 2 days and not sitting up as you will strain on your uterus whereby that this the wounded area....

My best gal friend also just had D&C few months back also advised me on taking ginger, kidney, liver, seasame oil, red dates tea, chicken essence, dang kwey.....

As my family is v particular, my mum and inlaw insisted that i have to take this for at least 2 wks and no chicken;seafood;cold stuff....

After recovery, i might be going to Eu Yan Sen @ paragon for TCM to recuperate my health back....

take good care of yourself......

chaos
wendy
 
Just two days never log in, and we hv new friends here.
jullchae, wendy, hope you gals are eating well and resting well.Wendy, sounds like you're in good hands both at home and hospital.
Had a gd afternoon, went facial, massage and spa with hb. But now face new issues again. fren lost lots of money in stocks and want me to take 20k of loan from bank to help her. Really in dilemma. Looks like no way my life can stay stress free.
 
Hi ladies,

choo, Jullchae and wendy, I am so sorry to read your posts. Do have a good rest and go through the mini-confinement. With regards to womb dropping, as long as you rest well & dun carry heavy things, I dun think this will happen. I read somewhere that it happens for older women who used to give birth to many children before. So don't worry...

By the way, Bellybutton, do u know if Korean Ginseng is heaty? My MIL told me to take, I think I shall wait till 2nd trimester but am afraid it will be heaty.
 
hi jullchea/wendy,
I'm sorry to hear about your loss....
must take good care of yourself...
after your bleeding/spotting stop, you can take dang gui. Just double-boil with meat / chicken, add gou qi zhi and red dates/black dates will do.... before you drink, add a pinch of salt.
 
Goodmorning Ladies. Hope all is well.

Droopy, I heard that Korean Ginseng is heaty. And usually better to start taking such things only in second tri.
 
hi jullchea/wendy,

I'm sorry to hear about your loss.... seems like having m/c is like so common this days.. no worries, have good rest.
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hello gals

hi jullchae/wendy - so sorry to hear that. take care n rest well.

jullchae - ya! i agree with the gals, better ask your gynae. Go for checkup. Dont walk too much n carry heavy things.

Coral - no stress no stress yeah! u see n decide whether is it worth helping tis friend cos $20k is no joke.
 
elmo - regarding HSG , u can ask loving cos i read the post at (TTC) n she went through the HSG n now she pregnant liao.

Droopy - yeah! Dont take too bu during the 1st tri cos bb still developing.
 
Hi ladies. Earlier this thread very quiet, suddenly more pple. How r all of you? Tonite me going for Jpnese buffet at Mirama hotel. Bro-ilaw's gf say very good, so hb, bil and his gf going together. Yummy yummy.

confused, gardeline, me feel bad about not helping friend lor. But anyway, she rejected my help cos I told her i'll definitely have to tell hb if I'm taking the bank loan(cos he may need to declare it if he or his spouse take an unsecure loan) and due to pride issue she refuse to let my hb know, so she rather get someone else to help her lor.
 
hi droopy
yes, korean ginseng is definitely heaty..and so are red dates, alcohol and dang kwei.. so you shouldn't take them during 1st trimester as it may cause bleeding. in fact, if your pregnancy is considered high-risk, you should avoid takign them altogether during your pregnancy. tat was what my gynae told me. should go for the less heaty tonic like pao seng. btw, do you know my gynae actually told me shouldn't take citrus fruits and bird nest during pregnancy as they may cause phelgm in your baby?hm.. i dunno how true is that though.. what do you all think? thought everyone takes bird nests??

coral, i used to like the japanese buffet at mirama hotel too! its called ikoi, must make reservations before you go esp on friday and weekends, super crowded...hee.. but went there pretty often so find that standard dropped over time. either that or me and my hubby's tastebuds became sharper, find tat food there is no longer that nice. but i remembered i had fond memories of the place during my first time there.
oh dear, taking a bank loan to lend money to friend is very tricky. think you did the right thing, you should tell your hubby about it if you were to take up the loan. if your spouse find out that you're taking up a loan without telling him, he'll be very angry! how come your friend doesn't want your hubby to know leh? afterall, she cannot expect you to keep things from him right?
 
Bellybutton,
The bird nest and phelgm thing quite true. My two cousins took lots of bird's and their babies now have lots of phelgm. So my mu say better eat in moderation and after the 4th month.

elmo, bellybutton,
looks like won't be helping friend. Cos she insist I can't tell hb cos she feel that the less people know the better. She doesn't want pple to know that she make a wrong choice in her investment. But I tell her no way can I hide from hb. Unless it's my own money, but too bad I already psent my money on deposit for the house...Guess she'll understand.
 
Bellybutton,
Hb and I dont find the food nice too. But we enjoyed ourselves last night cos it's fun to eat and chat with my BIL and his gf. Oh, the food isn't nice but the sake was good.
 
Hi gals,

I also haven't log into this thread for a while cos just went back to work after 1.5 weeks of mc from d&c. Been so busy but trying to take things easy for the moment.

You know, my gynae actually told me that for 1 month after d&c, i shouldn't take ginseng, dangkwei, red dates and alcohol. Apparently this will cause us to bleed more. And if we are very early stages of miscarriage(eg less than 2-3 mths), we need not do any confinement as the baby at this stage does not take any food from mummy.
I've also been advised that in the meanwhile, we should also cooling and cold stuff.

I just realised that a few of you are virgos.. Me too. celebrating my birthday this weekend...

By the way, I heard that there is a TCM doctor at Eu Yang Seng at Plaza Singapura who is good for helping women restore their health (eg fertility and strengthing body). I may go and consult him after I recover as I have irregular menses.
 
hello gals

hi gardeline - so sorry for the late reply. Yesterday wo2 heng2 hao3 but today bu4 hao3 liao
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cso yesterday nite quarrel with hubby. btw, does all men always side their parent? i feel that he love his parent more than me. (qi4 si3 wo3 liao)
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Hi girls,

Been awhile since i popped in. Been busy.

I've finally tried to do something about my diet and went to a chinese medicinal store and bought sme red dates, longans and herbs etc. Made myself the date and longan drink thing. But a bit blur about what herbs I can cook for myself etc. Anyone can share recipes or stuff?
 
coral - no need to feel bad. u did offer her but she rejected u. yeah! 20k is no joke. wat if she dont pay/cant pay u n who's is going to suffer. (i know its very selfish not lent the $. unless she is your very very close friend then its ok if not consider lending $) i used to lend $ to my friend n they never return back to me. (i'm someone whereby feel paiseh to ask them back for $ then when i think back i feel i very stupid)
 
so busy today. no time to go out for lunch only drink milk and eat chocolate. Must take a break so come in here.
confused, maybe you hb side with his parents as a form of reflex...that is if anyone say anything abt our parents, our first reaction is to protect them. I don think one will be so rationale as to evaluate if his parent is wrong or not before he speak. There's this sense of loyalty. If y\they don't try to protect them first, they may feel that they're betraying them. So to overcome this reflex of pple. Always start the discussion pertaining to their parents with very objective statements to ask them what they think instead of telling them what we think. This way we won't appear as if we're trying to say bad things about their parents, and so we won't feel hurt when they try to defend their parents. (Hope I'm making sense.) I usually, don start with the negative when I come to my inlaws. I'll ask my hb what he think of his parents' actions/suggestions. If we see it differently, then I'll tell him my opinion and why I think differently. But the fact that I don't shoot off with my opinion, makes my hb feel that I'm not always against his parents and I'm open to their views, so less conflict now. And many times, my hb actually share my view, so when I make him articulate the views, instead of me saying it, he did not have to start to defend his parents, then we don end up quarreling.
But keep cool, it's understandable that they'll be protective. But once they realise who's going to spend the rest of their life with them, their loyalty will switch. That's what my hb realise, when I'm happy, he'll be happy, too. So now my opinion and feelings count as much or more than parents'.
hama, how are you?
Twiggy been eating well? No more instant noodles I hope.
Happy catching up, gardeline.
Last night I dreamt of kaden. I dreamt that we brought him home and he just keep sleeping on his matteress. And I was thinking to myself in the dream, all is fine with my boy, except he wont make a noise. The I went to carry him and he sudden;y make some noise, I was overjoyed. And so glad we brought him home. Then he just look fine like normal bb, and I saw his teeth, and I start to feed him. Funny thing is I was feeding him porridge. Then he got naughty and refused to call me, I got s sad I ran to another room, then he crawl over to peep at me and call me mummy. What a strage dream. Prob a reflection of my tots of him during the day.
 
hi coral, i find that that its a sweet comforting dream that u had.. Really touched me reading it..
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Baby Kaden will always remain in a special place in ur heart..
 
hi GT,
I went to see a sinseh... he asked me to take the "Dang Gui Bu Xue tang" after the bleeding stop....not after 1 mth... after 1 mth, our body will not be able to absorb as much liao...
 
hamasaki, our bbs will always have a special place in our heart. Believe we all miss them. That's why all Mamas are here.We need a place to miss our bbs. It's only here that I feel comfortable to talk abt Kaden without people thinking of how to comfort me. I guess over here we give each other space to grief and miss our lost bbs. For the rest, I guess they feel at a lost for words when i tell themabt my lost.
 


Hi ladies,

Any some advice badly.
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I had an early miscarriage and the egg is only about 3 to 4 weeks (calculated from the day BD to menus come). I went to the gynae and she told me is a early miscarriage. But I did not return back to the gynae for further testing. I did not do any washing as it drop out when my menus come. It is safe?
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Do I need to go for another check-up before TTC?
 
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