Support group - Miscarriages

hi gals! Long time didnt come in.
I discovered that I actually had etopic pregnancy and not "miscarry" yet... so in the end got to go thru' lap.... so been resting....

How is everyone?

Mei2, how you doing? Dun eat instant noodles lah.. eat more nutritious thing. You got bu or not?

Coral, you've got to try to pick yourself up everytime you feel down.... time will heal all wounds...it will get better.... *hug*
 


Coral,

no worries.. !!! we'll all be here for u..!! chEEr up.. it takes time to recover but believe in yourself tt u can do it.
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Morning girls!

coral, big hug. Cry and let it out if you need and hopefully you'll feel better. Ya, we're all here for you to pour out everything if you need.

Elmo, you had the same situation as me. Thot miscarry but actually ectopic. Didnt realize it was quite common until I came to this forum. When did you have you lap? Hope everything goes ok and you'll be fine soon. I'll have to go dr tomorrow to see if the MTX worked, if not then will need to go for lap.

Mei, how're you? Quite fortunate you're staying with in laws coz you always get nice home cooked meal.
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But I guess yeah, it'll be nice to have your own flat too. I stay on my own and hubby and i have no idea about what is nutrition or what to do to "bu". Thinking of going to buy some chinese medicine to cook some soups today. Never done that before but important I guess.

Gardeline, health comes first ok, dont worry too much about losing the weight. Eat healthily, most important.

Jess, swimming is good excercise for trimming down too. Also, I try not to eat dinner after 7 when I need to lose weight. You're very discipline to keep up the jogging. Jia you!!!
 
Dear ladies,

I have to join you all...hope I am 'welcome'in a way...

Gone for check up yesterday at TMC gynae DR Eunice Chua cant' find my bb heartbeat..supposed to be 9weeks plus now...to reconfirm..she sent me to tmc x ray to do detailed scan...confirmed bb no more heartbeat...actually i had mentally prepared that this pregnancy is not successful as one and half week ago,gynae told us that sac is a bit small...

I was there in the morning..at noon when I have to accept this news...i ask hubby to take half day leave to accompany me....i was in tears from x ray centre all the way to see Dr Eunice again...she adviced me to do D&C next tues..as will clean up my womb...i can also wait for it to bleed but may take weeks and can be mentally torturing...somemore...i didnt bleed at all..my bb is classified as 'missed abortion'it just stop its heartbeat...

my eyes are sore now...last night when i slept...in the dark..i can't help but cried cos of my poor bb...it is still with me now until next tues....i blame myself for not healthy enough...

When my gynae explanied in details to us that I have to go for D&C...hubby was teary already..but think as a man..he might have his ego not to shed tear in public...but i know he is as upset as me....(sorry i in tears as i type this...)

Maybe this is natural way of how GOD handle unhealthy foetus....HE took bb away from me cos it is unhealthy and at 9weeks plus....rather than at later stage...that would be been 100times much devastating..

My parents,sis,brother in law and my parents in law are supportive of me...today is my father in law birthday and yet he stil consoled me ask me to take things easy and just let nature take its course....I have some ttc friend also with me...and colleagues who sms to ask me rest well...cry it all out and bu back my health....

I know ultimately I have to get out of this chapter and move on....but will need time...
it really hurts......

Can anyone advices me more on D&C?

sorry for my long post..just want to vent out my inner feeling..

me on mc from today till tues do D&C then mc again...
 
Hi Twiggy,
My case was a bit of negligence on the doc...cos initially thot we saw the sac (thou doc was not sure cos it's too small).....after taking the "abortion" medication.... the sac was gone... and I also felt a lump coming out....who knows the sac was actually in the tube... the "sac" we saw might be a false sac....cos I dun think I have twins :p
I only realised I have etopic when I'm 12 weeks liao..when I thot that bb is gone after taking the medication to expel it at 8 weeks... luckily the bb did not grow in the tube.... but the fallopian tube was starting to bleed...and I had a clot outside. :p
I just had my lap 2 weeks ago.
 
Choo,
it's normal to feel like crying.
I still cry nowadays..... I guess we will never forget it, but we will learn to get stronger and overcome the sadness....
I dun think you shd blame yourself for being unhealthy.... lots of things happen during the growth stage... and anything could happen....some unexplainable....
you should just focus on getting well...
cry whenever you wan, but dun let yourself dwell for too long... cos it gets hard to overcome it...
will pray for you....seek solace with God... he will give you strength...
and please remeber wat I told you.... rest more after D&C...
 
Choo, for D&C, you will be under GA... so you wun know a thing. After D&C, you will see bleeding for few days 7-10 days. Mine clear totally after 7 days.
 
choo,

cry it out...realli let it all out!!! u will missed him/her one..is all normal, my hb was oso in tears too...he was totally lost focus..

D&C takes only 30mins...dun worry! do remember to do a mini confinement ya! to 'bu' back urself!

after d/c, u will hv 2weeks of mc...rest well ya!
 
Hello gals

hamasaki - must try hor! maybe after birth i jio1 u to swimming so to build up your confidence yeah
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coral - glad that you are feeling better liao
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Hi Choo,

Sorry to hear of your sadness and situation. Dont worry, all of us here can emphathise with what you're going through. Be strong and positive. Your FIL is very wise... let nature take its course. Great that you have a very supportive family.

Hi Elmo,

How was it negligence from doc? Actually I think mine could have been a misdiagnosis also if I hadnt gone to a second dr. First Dr claimed to see a small sac in the womb but actually it wasnt. Second Dr , who is also more expereince said cant see anything and it was only through blood HCG that she managed to diagnose as ectopic. I guess for a Dr , it is very hard to tell , especially at early stage.

How do you know your fallopian tubes were starting to bleed? Scary. Did Dr say how it would affect your future pregnancies? Sorry a lot of questions coz I'm not sure what to expect.

I am getting cramps that feel like constipation pain but not sure if it's due to my constipation or what. Anyone experience that?
 
Choo,

Dun be sad, be strong.. well, i've been thru this too and i still cries this days whenever i think of my loss. alot of self-blame will kick in too. my hb was too sad and i heard fr his frds tt he was crying outside the clinic while i was weeping with the gynae..!! man and his ego..

My m/c in may was the same as urs, my bb got no heartbeat and i was devastated. i even seek second opinion but still the same..!!

d&c very fast, less than an hour and u'll be under GA.. i had mine done @ KKH. last thing i did before my c/c is cry and first thing i did after the d/c is again cry. till now, still trying to pick things up again.
 
twiggy,

ya, trying to bu too.. but now too busy with my reno so no time to do anything. sighhh... dunnoe is it becuz of my stress tt cuz my menses delay.
 
Hi Mei,

What you having for lunch today?
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I'm not eating maggi mee, but similar.......instant porridge. Hehehe... I'm hopeless at cooking. Want to cook but there are no fresh ingredients at all except egg. So easiest option is to cook some instant stuff or make sandwiches. Wanted to go out and buy lunch but stomach feeling a bit uncomfortable so couldnt be bothered. :p

Having my break now....

Gardeline, where is your new house? When do you move in? You must be very excited about the new home etc. Very fun to do up a home. Hubby and I had so much fun shopping for furniture etc. Helps to take mind off unpleasant stuff too.
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Twiggy,

we got our flat over @ Bedok Res, hw abt urself..?? so u are currently not werking..??
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its exciting and streSSed too, lotsa things to coordinate.
 
Twiggy,
doc initially said that the dot is too small and does not appear to be the sac... but it was not there before... then the following week, he told me the dot did not grow so not good... and hcg also does not look good...
but at that time he did not do a detail scan of the fallopian tube liao....
it was 1 mth after I started to feel pain and also due for followup then doc see a lump at the fallopian tube ....
after the lap, doc show me the photo that the lump was actually the blood clot from the bleeding and bb inside the tube die liao...
luckily, my tube was not damaged... but need to do hsg later to check my tubes.....
hubby was actually very angry with the doc esp when doc says I shd do the lap on that day cos it's life-threatening .... so you can imagine how shock and scared I was then....
after the surgery, he say he dun think I'm infertile...just that it's an unfortunate thing.... but I also very scared cos doc also said next pregnancy have 5-10% chance of etopic again....
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anyhow I will try not to think of these liao... will need to look forward....
 
twiggy, is the pain bad? Just be careful cos initially I thot my pain was also constipation pain...in the end my womb area was feeling sore liao....but never realise it was so serious liao.... so you must be careful... if the pain gets bad... must see doc...
 
Twiggy, I'm not sure if your pain is same as mine (it's the contraction pain, like stomachache), but was told the pain is due to the uterus contracting back to pre-preg size.
Gardeline, we stay rather close together. Me stay in east too. How's your menses coming along? Better see doc if too long never come.
Choo, of course ytou're welcome here, although we don wish to have more pple experience the same pain, but we'll be here to listen and support you. Eat well, even if you're not in the mood. After that rest well and bu your health. Listen to your FIL, take things easy.
 
Hi Garderline,

I'm staying at Newton now but hubby and i looking to move to somewhere further out, maybe east coast or west coast area so we can have bigger space for kids etc. I'm working but most days I work from home, so meals become very irregular. Yeah, moving and doing new house can be stressful but a lot of fun too. You getting someone to coodinate the reno for you?

Elmo, I know what you mean. Ectopic initially very scary coz you always hear or read that it's "life threatening", "internal haemorrhage" etc. I think nowadays they deal with it better but doctors should also be more aware of it, i feel. My first doctor never even suspected ectopic or tested my blood hcg. Why dont you seek a second opinion about the health of your womb etc? Your doctor sounds a bit blur and bochap leh.

The pain feels like a constipation pain, not the menstrual cramps kind. If I try to press my abdomen or stretch it, there'll be a sharp pain. But it's not an ongoing pain, so I'm hoping it'll go away. Tried to do the "big one" to relieve it but cannot leh. Dunno. I'll see how it goes. Just called the clinic and nurse said can take laxative to relieve constipation first and if pain persists, then to call them back.

Coral, I dunno if my uterus is suppose to be contracting yet coz theoretically I'm still pregnant. I wil only find out if my MTX is working tomorrow morning when i go for blood test.
 
Twiggy, I felt the sharp pain too. And it comes and ges too. One gynae I asked, said body undergoing changes so may expereince pain at times. But do seek medical asvise if persists.
Hey, your job not bad huh? Allow you to work from home, actually hope to find some work like this too. But not easy to come by.
 
I've got a qn to ask. Prob should ask gynae, but I feel too pai seh to. My menses ended on Monday. Today hb and I ML and I started to bleed a little, is that something to worry abt or is it normal?
 
Coral, thanks. I will if the pain persists. Not too bad now.

Yeah, my job is good in that sense but also a bit lonely working from home. And takes a lot of discipline. It depends on your boss and job scope actually. My work doesnt require me to be physically in the office, and my boss is very flexible, so he said it's ok for me to work from wherever.
 
Twiggy,
my doc is a very experience doc... but I think I'm quite suay lor....I think all doc makes mistake sometimes in their career... just that I so happen to be the one lor... anyway, I'm considering switching gynae liao... cos I might not be able to trust everything he say liao (cos will always worry).... but I think he is rather competent...so I guess no problem with the surgery.... now I bu first... then later see how... :p

be very careful hor... cos that time I also like that.... I thot it's constipation pain and everytime I do toilet liao seems to be better until couple of days I'm due to see gynae then realised the pain is getting worse...not trying to scare you... but just wan you to be careful...
since you doing blood test soon.. shd be ok bah....but must monitor carefully
 
Coral, is it just a bit only....if no pain, no smelly discharge,... then it's ok... sometimes could be due to the abrasion...
 
coral, i read bleeding from intercourse right after might cause slight bleeding. But if persists, or accompanied with pain, then call Dr. But if you're not sure, just call anyways, no need to paiseh one. After all, what have these doctors not heard or seen?
 
big hugs to u choo.. Can fully understand how u must be feeling now..

I too have bad m/c be4, which totally break my heart.. But I learn to take things easy.. There is nothing that I can do to save my child, except to pray that he/she will be happy in Heaven..


take care and rest well..
 
Hmm...will monitor to see how. Cos now no pain and just bit of spotting. But now everything also must becareful lor. Just feel tat I'm a very troublesome woman. Seems like other ladies around me no problem but me lots of issues.
 
coral,

for my case, i will also bleed a little after ML but i read fr somewhere tt it could be due to a tear of the vaginal (thk too dry lar :p). no need to worry unless its alot loh. which part u stay at then..??

twiggy,

sounds good to werk on ur own.. wat job are u werking as..??
 
coral - u have spotting again? then dont do any exercise n try not to walk too much at these moment. After my D&C gynae ask me no to walk too much n i oso find pain (on/off) on my abdominal n he say its normal cos uterus shrinking.

gals - so paiseh! i no time to read all the posting. those gals having constipation, try to eat fruits or take prune. (i eat apple or pear everyday during my mini confinment n i ve no problem going toilet)

bye! i got to go liao. Chat with u gals tonite
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Hi Gardeline,

I'm working for an international publications so all my team mates and clients are based overseas. Hence I dont need to be in office to do my job, except when I need to coodinate stuff with my production department.

What about you?

Coral, no lah, not that you're troublesome. All women are troublesome.
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I'm always getting this and that problem, calling the clinic all the time. Never seen a doctor so much in my life as I have in last three months.
 
hi gardeline, me fine today...
still looking ard.. Never mind, will take my time to look ard.. thanks...
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bye confused, take care and enjoy ur day...
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twiggy,

i'm werking Sales Support Executive, lowly paid sales exe but bosses very nice and i can even chat with ur so still ok lar hor.. keke
 
confused, you funny lah. I think you browse too fast. No one having constipation, Twiggy just describing her tummy pain like that of constipation.
Gardeline, me stay siglap. But will move to Telok Kurau in 2yrs' time, but still near to bedok. I think the flat in bedok reserv very nice. Can go jogging there or stroll.

Ya, never see doc for so many times of being jab and draw blood so many times in my life. Now, I really appreciate good health. Good thing I learn it now, still not too late to take good care of my body.

hamasaki, ya just take your time lor. Can rush, find job also need luck. My ex-colleague been searching since last dec, still no luck.
 
Hello gals !
so long never join in oredi
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Have been very busy after my mini confinement break. Moreover can't access this forum from office internet
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Today is exactly the 4th week after my D&C. Still waiting for menses to come... I find myself so fat now.. It's so difficult to shed away the excess 1-2 kg gain while pregnant for 8weeks. Moreover intake too much 'bu' during mini confinement, so 'bu' until my tummy is rounder.. Weekdays after work really no time to exercise. Now must really work out my exercise plan liao.. if not becomes too fat, so sad & demoralising when see my wedding photos. I was so slim & pretty then.

I feel myself more energetic (even my husband says that)after having all the tonic drinks. We must really take care of my health & to keep our womb 'warm'. Remember not to take too cooling stuff. Must build up our inner strength to prepare ourselves for next pregnancy
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pray pray for everyone in this thread will have a healthy & smooth pregnancy soon
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Choo,
I had my D&C immediately the next day after gynae had confirmed BB has no heartbeat. It's better to settle soonest. You can read my D&C experience from my earlier posting. Mine also done in TMC. My gynae is Dr LC Cheng.

You MUST MUST MUST have a mini confinement okie
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Trust me, you will feel a difference in your health. 1st week will have normal confinement food. Then 2nd week can start to drink tonic. I am sure your mum will know all these. Also must drink red dates drink daily for 1month to 'bu' blood & energy. Till now, I still take chicken essence every morning(with empty stomach) & drink DOM before I sleep.

Take it easy.. I know it's easier to say than done. But just have to accept our 'fate' & to continue have faith in GOD that He has a better plan for us ahead
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yo babes...
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sorry to MIA for this whole morning &amp; afternoon :p coz went for jab this morning...next friday goin for BETA Hcg oso to see its drop <2 onot
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then went parent's place for mee suan coz today my chinese bday
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juz got home

ok.. today went to see gynae and she told me a very sad news
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her eyes is abit watery when she told me this... this morning she got a patient that both tubes was "cut" off coz of ectopic and its a twins
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was so sad when i heard this... and this is the 1st time that she saw this in her 20years of practice.. and the patient its juz 31years old.. tried for 5years liao.. the 1st pregnancy was a bio chemical oso... so sad hor...
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gynae advise me not to get preggie so fast.. then i straight away tell her that will stop tryin till next year jun and she says good.. keke distract myself to other things 1st.. wanted to got BKK, HK and Perth... hahahaha

choo... pls be strong ok.. *hugz u know we will be here for you... be positive that our bb is playing happily upstair and wants us to "bu" and take care of our body b4 comin back to us
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coral.. glad that u're fine nw
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but do cry urself out if u cant help thinkin coz crying is a very good wat to destress oso
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Goodmorning ladies. TGIF! Today also a nice start, hb need not rush to work so had bfast with me. And for the first time in a long while I feel radiant and pretty. Though still fat fat with the extra 3kg on me.

Lala you lucky, only 1-2kg.I agre with you, the confinement food and the tonic drinks help. I no lpnger feel lethargic. I think my face colour (lian3 se4)much better too.

So Choo, be good and eat well.

Mei2, belated Happy Birthday! So sad to hear abt that lady. They hv no other choice but to cut her tube? My friend sis almost got her tube cut by one doc, she refused, saw another who said no need, they resovle her prob without cutting, A year later she preg again, delivering in Dec. That poor lady must be devastated. I pray that she'll be strong to survive this ordeal.
Hamasaki, jia you jia you.
My trouble not end yet leh, still spotting. Looks like me and hb cant ML for long long time. No scared, must do everything to ensure my womb recover well.
 

Hi everyone,

I remember last time, there's a lady here who has problem of low placenta water level.

I have a friend who is currently having low water level. Would like to check whether anyone can share their experience and give some advice on this.
 
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