Support group - Miscarriages

Hi gals! Hope all of you have a great weekend. Now that I am on leave, everyday passes in a blur.. weekday/weekend all no diff to me. I must try to get some of the old rythm back to my life.. or I would soon become 'yellow face woman' :D

I saw this advert for a talk in ST today. You gals might be interested in attending. Typing in the details here for your ref
happy.gif


Pregnancy Loss and Unresolved Grief
Church of St Peter & Paul Perish Building
3rd Storey 225A Queen Street, tomorrow and Wed 9am-5pm Fee $50 for 2 days or $30 for 1 day tel 6488 0278 or email [email protected]
American psychotherapist Theresa Burke conducts a two day seminar on trauma of abortion and healing process including grieving and reconciliation. Dr Burke has lectured and trained professionals internationally on the subject of post abortion trauma and healing. Her counselling work focuses on women issues, bereavement, pregnancy loss, sexual abuse, eating disorders and anxiety management.

Ok, for those who asked about YX, here's a latest photo of her. She jus had her bath, cried very loudly and then when we changed her, we realised she could not fit into one of her rompers already! She is now 4.58kg, up from 2.77kg at birth.

folic



271258.jpg
 


<font color="0000ff">Gd Day everybody,</font>
271296.gif

Alamak! I was lost for few days! Now back again, thanks for <font color="aa00aa">Lyn's</font> help. Thanks Lyn.

<font color="aa00aa">Lyn,</font>
271297.gif
Dun worry abt that 'qian'. Btw, did u burn it away? My parents told me that no good ones must burn away. In my opinion, I'll go pray pray but I'll not 'chiu qian'. Cos if no good, it'll affect me the entire day...u know what I mean?

<font color="119911">Starlite,</font>
Are u tabulating the TTC list? I've also started to TTC now. But I've no confidence at all!! 1st I've PCOS. 2nd, I didn't monitor my temperature (lazy). 3rd, I've no EWCM. Really dunno how to predict my ovulation.....sigh....
 
<font color="ff0000">Hi Folic,</font>
ENVY ENVY!!! Thanks for sharing the photo.

<font color="ff6000">Hi Joyce,</font>
Your sons are lovely!!! Also very envy!!!
 
Thank you, Droopy...

Thanks confused... I will try not to think about it. I asked if God will bless me a baby this month this time. Last time is whether I can have baby, but I did not say which month or year. Then it stated I must pray very hard even if I get pregnant.
Glad that you AF is here...
happy.gif


Hi Folic,
Wa... Yixuan growing so fast... Next time at the blink of the eyes, can walk and talk already...

Hi qwer,
I burnt it away at the temple... My hubby was with me, then he also read cannot have baby wor... I was not sure if I wanna "qiu qian" that day. Then my mum wanna "qiu" also then to kill time I also try to "qiu" lor... Next time dun wan already...
Use OPK to predict...
 
<font color="0000ff">Hi Lyn,</font>
Thanks for suggesting. Wah...then must buy OPK liao. Think hv to buy alot like u....not enough, hee...hee... I've decided to see the chinese physician at Jurong East this Wed. I want to get some medicine from her to induce ovulation. Then with the OPK more useful. Due to my PCOS, dun think I ovulate at some mths. So I need the medicine to induce ovulation in order to conceive again....
 
<font color="ff6000">Odie,</font>
Thanks, I rec'd your PM liao. Very touched after reading some of it.

<font color="0000ff">Lyn,</font>
Read that you &amp; Hamasaki calculating the CD cycle. Btw, sad to say, I dunno how to calculate. So I dunno which day I'm now.
 
qwer,
haha... buy from the internet... Better buy early cos they take time to arrive. Hope to hear good news from you soon
happy.gif

CD1 is the first day of the menses when you see red. You gotta monitor every month to see roughly how many days is your cycle, then you minus 14 days to get the estimated ovulation day...
 
<font color="0000ff">Lyn,</font>
Thks....minus 14 days from last day of cycle? My cycle is 33-36 days. Sigh....PCOS pple have irregular cycles. So I take it as 35 days as an average. Ya, I juz ordered from the internet - local market. Wah like that calculate, I'm at CD23 today. Yesterday juz ovulated!! But I've no system at all. Hmmm....maybe I didn't ovulate again....sigh.....
 
folic
Good to hear from you! Envy u...hope I can hold my bb is my arms soon!

BB Yixuan is growing fast...she has out grown her clothes already....I also dare not buy too many bb clothings.

For all those TTCing....All the Best!
 
qwer,
No no.. If 33 days, then it will be CD19. If 36 days, it will be CD22. These are just rough estimates, you might still make it tonite
happy.gif
. 14 days is the average. Sometimes it can be 12 days. That is why other methods of determining ovulation are needed. So for your case, your fertile period can be CD16 (3days before first predicted ovulation) to CD24 (pray if your luteal phase is 12, but on average it's 14). So you can still try tonite, and tomolo... kekeke...

Some more, after ovulation, the egg can survive for 24 hrs.
 
hi ladies,
i'm new to this thread. posted a msg in the new spore motherhood website but now it's disappeared...
i had a spontaneous miscarriage which started last monday.
went for scan and gynae couldn't find a heartbeat. Was supposed to be 9.5 weeks.

felt quite crushed. esp since i'm past 30 and feel old. had been TTC for 1.5yrs amid having PCOS, irregular periods, frequent travelling and DH had chicken pox too.

Would appreciate your kind advice on what to eat &amp; avoid during "confinement" period.
And also to find out from yall how much sick leave you took to recouperate and
how much does the D&amp;C cost - is it about $1K? ...at TMC

My gynae advised that since the foetus size was small, I should bleed it out then scan to see if D&amp;C is necessary. Maybe small enough to bleed til it's cleared.

Also, do yall know what happens to our hormones after the m/c?
Like, what are our estrogen levels and how long does it take to normalize and get a real AF again?
asking this becoz of PCOS.

thanks.
 
<font color="0000ff">Hi Lyn,</font>
Wah....sound soooo cheem cheem leh.....I'm rather confused. But I do agree with you that my fertile period could be around CD16 to CD24. Sigh.....so difficult one......
kao_sad.gif
 
lyn - oic. Dont worry too much. Anyway the qian didnt say u cant have bb at all right? maybe tis month no bb leh. Nevermind try again next mth n dont give up hope. Dont give yourself too much stress. (too stressful cant have bb leh) juz like u gals keeping telling me to relax n dont think too much abt AF, n i listern n now AF come liao
lor.

Droopy eyes - wow! yours so gd ah. It took me abt 6 weeks then AF coming. Heng ah! since gynae say maybe your AF coming then u got to take note liao. Hooray! after your 1st AF u can start ttc again.

Hi fondue - so sad n sorry to hear that. You take care yeah! Aiyo! u mean your gynae didnt advise u to go for D&amp;C now? (u waiting to bleed ah?)
For my case, i was abt 10 week pregnant b4 i went for D&amp;C. cost abt 1.6k and i rested for 1 week. Gynae advise me to go for D&amp;C asap cos he say if wait for bleeding then it'll become very serious liao.

After D&amp;C, like wat the gals here say, our homone will change lor. my 1st AF is 6 week later 9after D&amp;C) i did a mini confinement - i ate sesame with ginger n chicken, liver, rice wine chicken n those bu3 soup. (aiyo! every day eating the same food) n not allow to bathe.
 
Hi Fondue, sorry to have to welcome you to this thread. Don't be disheartened. I was 33 years old when I lost my first baby at 23 weeks. I got preg again at 34 years old and my baby was jus born last month. Concentrate on recovering physically by taking nutritious food. Most of us have a mini confinement for about 2 weeks or so, eating lots of ginger/sesame oil based food. You can also take some herbal stuff, but I am not good at these so I will leave it to the other gals to tell you more. The AF will come about 4-6 weeks after the D&amp;C.

Adora, good to hear from you! How's things getting along? You must be counting down!

Qwer, don envy
happy.gif
I am sure you will have a little one of your own very soon! Jia You!

Lyn, don't be too affected by the qian. My philosophy on such things is believe when it's good, ignore when it's bad!
happy.gif
Jia You!

folic
 
<font color="0000ff">folic,</font>
Thanks....I already hv a 2 yr old little gal at home. Juz being 'greedy'.....wan2 to hv no. 2 lah.....but failed 6 mths ago.
 
hi lyn, okie, try to forget the lot if U can.. try ur very best to think of other happy things, like what U taught me be4..


hi joyce, ur lovely sons pics wow, a lot hor.. me take my own sweet time looking at those cutie pics..


hi folic, great to hear from U and seeing sweetie YX pics.. she grown up a lot liao.. cutie gal..
 
Hi Fondue,
Sorry to hear about what happened. Remember Zoe Tay has a baby at 37. So you are not that old...
happy.gif
Try to eat well and some "bu".

qwer,
It's always better to work harder during the possible fertile period.

Folic,
Yap yap... I am trying not to believe... cos hubby beside me n talking to me n cannot concentrate "qiu qian"...
happy.gif
 
Hi Folic
I am 32 weeks now...can't wait for the BIG day to arrive. Now, trying to get ready bb stuff...

Hi Fondue
Don't be too dishearten. Can't really remember when AF came but I got pregnant again after 3-4 cycle.

Regarding confinement food, my mum cooked a lot of ginger, seasame chicken or pork. I drank tanggui soup &amp; DOM.
 
<font color="0000ff">Hi Fondue,</font>
Sorry to hear abt it. I dunno if u believe in chinese herbs &amp; physician. For my case, I visited a sinseh. Cos I believe in chinese medicine &amp; it helps to 'tune' my body &amp; hormone back to normal. Concentrate on the healing part &amp; try not to think too much. Take care.

<font color="aa00aa">Lyn,</font>
Thanks....will try harder. But sometimes hor....I myself very tired! At times, during the fertile period, it's either my HB work late...came back very tired....or I juz had a tiff with him. So I think it's really fated. Maybe I shldn't be too greedy...
 
yes qwer, what lyn had said abt calculating the O is like that. maybe U can try them out one day..


sorry to hear of ur loss Fondue.. do take care and rest well..
 
Hi Lyn... I dropped you a PM rather than an email. Did you check your PM? Anyway... personally I feel that religion is an emotional support but you should still believe that fate is in your own hands. Don't despair.

Thanks to Joyce and Folic for sharing the photos. Folic after reading what you wrote... I'm beginning to really worry that I might have bought too many clothings for my baby :p

Hi Foundue... sorry to hear about your lost. There are lots of cases of women above 35 giving birth to healthy babies. Age is a factor to consider but not the one and only consideration. It is really the individual's body constituion that plays an important part. So take care of yourself and your health.
 
Hi Qwer,
I do understand the frustration when there's no mood or chance for BD during the fertile period. Sometimes I believe in fate. But sometimes I think fate is in our hands... But certain things really fated... Very "mao dun"...
I think maybe what the monk said is true. I will only have one kid. I am thinking maybe I will have to try till late 30s then will only have one kid... haha... about 10 more years to go... Or maybe the lost one will be the only one...
 
Qwer, I know you already have a 2 year old and trying for another one.
happy.gif
Actually, 2 year olds are the most fun stage, don't you think so?

Odie, initially, ppl ask me don buy new born size cos baby grow up very fast. However, she was so tiny when she came out that all the 3-6 months clothes look like wayang costume on her. So we went to buy a few more new born size and also got some gifts. But now, jus pass 1 mth, already cannot wear liao
happy.gif


Adora, 32 weeks! That's great! Soon, we will hear you baby story!

folic
 
hi lyn,
271444.gif
, dun think of any negative things now.. I believe ur dream in wanting to become a mummy will come sooner or later..

i believe Nian Nian will bless us and answered our prayers, in just a matter of time ..
 
Hi Ladies, thanks so much for all your encouragement &amp; sharing of your own experience. much appreciated.

Confused, I was already bleeding then went to see gynae. so he said let the bleeding continue on its own first.
after a week if not clean then do a D&amp;C. Jus hope i don't get infection.

thanks Folic for your sharing. great to hear your success story.

hi Qwer, do u have English speaking sinseh to recommend? my mandarin not powerful enough. the last time I went to one (last year), i barely made out that my liver was overworked and needs 6 months of treatment to be balanced (tiao^2). then I went to another sinseh that charged me $130 for 2 M&amp;M-looking pills &amp; a black liquid. So expensive that I got scared.

Adora, terrific hearing that you're already 32 weeks! all the best!

Thanks too to lyn, hamasaki &amp; odie for your kind advice. All the best to those who are TTC-ing!

Been eating more ginger in the past few days than all of my life. I used to pick out ginger from my food. but thankfully now i've found that the young ginger is actually quite edible - taste is not so strong after all.
Do yall know if it's ok to resume taking Evening Primrose Oil even while still bleeding?

Yesterday my tummy pains were different from previous cramping - like my intestines' movement were causing sharp pains...
 
Fondue,
Maybe your uterus contracting back... Hope you can start TTC again soon
happy.gif
.
I started to drink DOM after the miscarriage. But not every day though... Sometimes I forgot... Maybe you can consider taking essence of chicken to "bu" blood. Avoid "cold" food for now...
 
hi fondue, i guess more or less after a m/c or a pregnancy, our hormones kind of changed patterns.. the symptoms that we used to have might changed for some individuals..

but in the meantime, rest well and eat well.. Recover soon gal..
 
<font color="119911">Folic,</font>
Hee...hee...ya...2 yr olds indeed very fun &amp; sweet! But I'm very 'scared' of their terrible twos temper tantrum. Aiyoh....<font color="ff0000">*shake head*</font>....my father says it's like WWII!!
271469.gif


Last wk my mum told me that I've 'rested' enough liao after the MC. Asked me when having no.2? Aiyoh!!!! She also said her neighbours keep asking where when her daughter (that's me) planning for no. 2....stress!!
271470.gif
 
<font color="0000ff">Hi Fondue,</font>
I had been seeing a sinseh at Jurong East. She speaks English &amp; Mandarin. I'll be going to see her this Wed early morning. If u want the address, I can PM (private msg) you.
 
Aiyo... qwer... just try to ignore those questions... Or tell them 5 years later... maybe that would stop them asking for a while.

I think toddlers are very cute... haha... my 4 year-old nephew brings me so much joy... especially looking at his cute face on my wedding photos... haha...
 
qwer, guess old folks are like that.. the more the merrier.. they wanna have lots of grandchildren..

for my case, my mum will never pressured me into having..
271477.gif
Phew, I'm lucky in this area but unlucky in another area..

My MIL and hubby's side relatives will sure pester me to have the 2nd one..
271478.gif
 
hamasaki,
Tell them 5 years later, and you wanna enjoy "er ren shi jie" first... kekeke... Then they will stop asking for a while, and dun pin high hopes now. Then it will be less stressful. My counsellor told me that tip
happy.gif
 
hi lyn, okie will try that in future.. Actually wanna tried it out now cos they have been telling me to have the 1st kid now.. I wanna to say something to them, but hubby a BIG BIG MOuth told them , we are planning to have one soon..

wow lah, these only make them pester us even more.. Then suddenly, they started bormbing us with Questions: when its ur 2nd one.. (Siao liao)..
 
Lyn, glad that u feel better.
happy.gif


Confused, but my AF is so little that I wonder if it is really AF
uhoh.gif
But I m so glad yrs came! U can TTC soon!
biggrin.gif


Hi Fondue, so sorry to see u here. I also have those occasional sharp pains in the intestines, not sure if same as yours. I wonder if it is hard stools coz my mum says confinement food can cause constipation too. Like the gals, I had alot of those ginger, sesame oil stuff and I drank DOM, Dong Cong Cai etc. I also drank those red dates, longan with dangshen drink everyday. Rested for 3 weeks. U'll need a lot of rest now, do take care. Come in &amp; chat wif us, u'll feel better.

Thanks for sharing the photos, Joyce &amp; Folic. It's a real motivation for us!
 
hamasaki, tell your hubby to tell them 5 years later cos you both changed your mind... kekeke... U know, when you dun give them high hopes now, and you got pregnant, they will be very very happy... If they have hopes now, and they will keep pestering very often, and worse gossip behind...


So far, my in-laws never ask. Guess they know that we are sad about the loss, so they never ask, but I know they want grandchildren... My parents also never ask, cos I haven't graduate... Guess my relatives will start asking after I graduate...
 
<font color="ff6000">Hamasaki, Lyn,</font>
Aiyoh, if I were to tell them 5 yrs later, think they'll 'kill' me, will sure nag continuously!! My mum keep reminding me that since now she's energetic, can help me look after, I better try for no.2 now. Dun wait so many yrs later, when she becomes too old, then nobody to help me look after. I juz kept quiet that day when my mum spoke to me. <font color="ff0000">AIYOH....</font>I also want my no.2 leh....pple pressure me but I pressure who??? Myself?? Sian ah.....
271526.gif


My MIL who used to be very naggy abt this issue, ever since I MC, she never discuss this topic with me anymore. Heng ah, heee...hee...
 
271551.gif
okie okie lyn, maybe and hope I be able 2 try them out.. (but chances are slim).. My MIL told me yesterday that she is going overseas to invite and bring back the Jui Shen NIan Nian to her home..

She pretended and told me that its to bring good health and prosperity to the household.. But when i told her, that its to blessed couples to have children soon, she gave herself away.. WOW< she is so desprate to have grandchild..
271552.gif



ur parents and in-laws are thoughful people.. for which they did not ask U to have baby soon.. that's good.. at least, wun be pressured by them.
271553.gif
 
<font color="ff6000">Hamasaki,</font>
I like your icon! So cute &amp; funny!!! Hope those pple in the TTC-ing namelist will soon be annoucing their good news soon!!! P/S. Hope I'm one of them too, hee hee....
271576.gif
 
Juz spoke to my cousin that day. She went for abortion! I was shocked to hear from her mum! Was thinking to myself, pple like us wanting so much to conceive. Then she went to abort!!!?? She already has a 3 yr old child. She said this no. 2 come not at the correct time. She said her husband very busy at work...always work midnight &amp; she won't be able to cope with 2 kids!! Imagine this kind of reason!!!??? I really cannot understand.
 
Fondue - oic. Then u must monitor your bleeding liao. (if serious must go n see gynae soon yeah) i was told not to let it bleed cos very xiong to the body. in the meantime, u must really res well n take care of your health. oso i do feel pain n cramp on my abdominal after D&amp;C (lasted abt 3 weeks cos i walk alot n very fast lor) Dont walk so much.

I took chicken essence n those confinement food every day. (i oso take red date with ginger n long gan drink) In the meantime, gynae gave me multi vitamin and abt 1 mth later, i took royal jelly liao.

Droopy eyes - Dont worry, since your gynae say maybe AF then u monitor. (i monitor my AF base on cycle 33 days onwards) aiyo! my AF become alot liao.

hamasaki - ya! very weird hor cos after M/C, hormone really change.
 
hi qwer, i guess my MIL will be like urs.. NAG and NAG and bomb me with lots of questions.. WHY WAIT SO LONG.. Maybe maybe she ask her relatives to come and presuade me to have baby soon..
271588.gif


I too hope so that one by one, all the gals in the TTC list announce their wonderful baby news annoucements..
271589.gif
U will be one of them as well..
 
sob sob to hear that ur cousin went for an abortion..


i agree that confused, that our body patterns more or less changes after a Pregnancy or a m/c.. also dunno why that happens..
 
<font color="119911">Hamasaki,</font>
Thank you!! You're very sweet. Ya...let's try our best &amp; 'graduate' together!! But I dare not give myself too much hope. Cos I easily pessimistic, also tend to think a lot. My HB said the lines on my palm are very very messy. He said I think really too much liao. That's why now whether I start to think wild...I concentrate on my knitting.
 
hamaski - ya! hope to hear gd new from our gals here
happy.gif
I think most inlaw will nag n nag. maybe can tell her she'll be the first to get gd new if you're pregnant, so ask her not to gan cheong. (my friend always say left ear in, right ear out)
biggrin.gif
dont give yourself too much stress yeah.

Heng ah! My PIL didnt talk to us ever since we quarrel. In future no more will pressure us
biggrin.gif


qwer - aiyo! very upset leh. yalor! people want bb dont have n your cousin dont want n bb pop out.
 
hi qwer, yes yes we jia you together..
271635.gif
my lines in my palm seems to be increasing leh.. Guess i'm also thinking too much.. I really hope all those old folks will stop putting pressure on me, then i can relax..


hi confused and qwer,
271636.gif
.. guess its hard to keep those old folks mouths shut.. so sian..
 
Confused, ya loh, aft pregnancy &amp; m/c, I can't seem to recognise my body "pattern" already.

Hamasaki, must ask yr husband to hint to yr IL that excessive pressure will "slow down" process... maybe that can "scare" them abit &amp; not stress u out
biggrin.gif


I know my PIL very anxious coz my hubby eldest son but they dun dare to say anything, "heng" for me too.

BUT still, really hope everyone of us here will have good news very very soon...
 


confused, my normal AF came!
bounce.gif
Opps..abit over-excited right...heh heh...so is my 1st day AF the day I start to spot or today?
uhoh.gif
Jiak Lak, like that how to keep track of my cycle.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

M
Post Adoption support group - for moms and children.
Replies
0
Views
202
Menashan
M
M
Adoption support group
Replies
0
Views
198
Menashan
M
I
Support Group for TTC
Replies
5
Views
6K
Tinkerbell91
T
V
Full List Of QuickBooks® Desktop Support® Numbers Across U.S.A – The Ultimate Step-by-Step Guide
Replies
0
Views
133
vixivo4236
V
G
Recommendation for Lactation Consultant IBCLC for first time mom
Replies
0
Views
355
Glitter_Wu
G

Back
Top