Hi pinkpixel
Don’t mention, most impt is never give up! Tell me abt the why me question. U r not alone because when I first got my own chromosome rpt, that was the big question I asked and no one in my family has that history. But lets not despair becoz at least we still have time to try. Yes, many things in life have no answers as long as we don’t become cynical and imbalanced, we can still dictate some answers for ourselves, not all but at least some.
For the clomid issue, yes, its better to check with ur gynae and also ur TCM dr. Alto I have not read before that clomid incr risk of mc, its better to double check. But generally speaking, the consumption of Chinese and amoh medicine must be at least 2 hrs apart. To play safe, try to take amoh med in the morning/afternoon and the TCM at nite or vice versa depending on the med.
Hi Magenta88
Yes yes, try TCM becoz there are issues that western medicine cannot resolved while Chinese medicine can miraculously solved. U hve a great attitude and I sincerely hope ur next preg will be the one.
Jo, thanks for ur encouragement
Don’t worry for me..heeeee…I am doing ok although I might sound very hopeless, I am not. This is because I have a strong belief that each of us has different roles to play in this life and if I cannot play certain roles, I will try to take up other more constructive roles. In these active reproduction years, will definitely want to have a bb but even if it fails, u will probably find me somewhere doing some other meaningful things like helping trisomy children. Thanks for advice on multi-vits. My body system is working fine now with TCM, my issue lies more with my balanced translocation carrier status.
Meanwhile, u hve a great nine months ahead and share ur joys and thots with us.
Hi Cynn
As I read your posting, I feel like giving u a tight hug. I understand that u r going thru a two step forward, one step backward process, some days u feel that u r ok already but other days, its back to square one. After going thru mcs myself, I observed that diff pple really use diff ways to cope and some of them include:
1. Really shut themselves off from the outside world and also shut their family out. Don’t talk to anyone about what happened but cries within themselves. But one fine day, they immerge and can function like before. I don’t know how well this coping mechanism or long it takes but I have read its common in Asian societies as pple r so reserved and looked upon mc as taboo subject.
2. Move on very fast and try to discipline themselves not to indulge in any negative thots. Move on with life and sieve the brain of negative thots and just enjoy the good things life has to offer. Ultimately they may or may not get better. I cannot judge becoz this is not my coping mechanism.
3. Take one step at a time. Acknowledge ur fears and accept them. Cry if it makes u feel better (was tell a frd that its scientifically proven that tears have stress inducing chemicals and crying is therapeutic). Talk to ur trusted frds abt ur fears. Accept the fact that some days r very bad and some days r better. Accept the fact that u will never forget ur bbs (most likely u might never want to forget them) but they will become a part of u and u will slowly learn how to have them in ur heart and yet carry on with life. BUT like twinangel says, while going thru the tears, try to schedule some a session of inspiring move or some music u used to love when u were happier. Try to do things u used to enjoy before the losses and those things can remind urself that u r a very worthwhile human being and those losses do not make u a lesser human being or ur life worthless. Tell urself that u can be as happy as before but in life, there are sure to be ups and downs and what goes up must come down and what reaches the bottom must go up. Think of it this way, if things are already so bad as u think, how bad can it still get?
Sometimes it’s a combination of a few of them. In short, some pple get better by avoiding the fears but some pple get better thru facing the fears. No fixed formula.
So generally how I cope thru this is:
Started TTC last sep, pregnant shortly but miscarried two months later. Heartpain for bb, shock, lots of tears, fear of what’s wrong wif me. Resolved to find out. Found out abt personal chromosome prob. Hopelessness, more tears. Fears for the future. Acknowledge my fears and seek medical advice, read up on pple’s inspiring experience, observe the fact that my family and friends love and need me (u too cynn) expect the worst and hope for the best. Hubby’s understanding and love. Embarked on new ttc journey in Feb. Miscarried again. Heartbroken for 2nd bb again, cry again. Feel so depressed. But again observed the fact that there are many pple who care and love me (us). And there are so much good food that I want to eat. Go to the sea and suddenly feel like crying, just cry but also realized the sea is very beautiful and my hubby is a great being. Now I am still sad when think of bbs but I am happy like before and believe life is worth living in every sense. I have not fixed timeline for ttc yet because my hubby has more work commitment but I know I will again. I can only say that I will still cry if I mc again but life is a marathon and u will surely meet obstacles on the way. Its very impt to finding a balance in everything and to keep the mind balanced.
So cynn, don’t think why u can’t hve a bb but think of what u would do to have a bb. If u hve tried TCM and also western medicine, it could be ur emotions that is upsetting the ovulation a bit. Try to experiment with the diff mechanisms I mentioned and see if it works. I am sure u r also very smart to know devise some methods for urself and try to see if they work for u becoz diff mtds work for diff pple. And u r very normal to be sad, if u r not sad, than its very abnormal and needed worrying. And diff pple got diff timeline to recovery.
No matter what method u use, the most impt reason why u must slowly pick urself up: becoz before the bb comes, u r ur hubby’s most impt woman u know
