Support group - Miscarriages
- Thread starter linda
- Start date
Tubby... glad to know that everything is ok for you.
Ocean... ya loh. Soon we will be celebrating our own 1st wedding anniversary ^.^v Opps... I realised that next week is my 12th week... so which means another 2 weeks before I hit the 2nd tri
Work and house are coming along fine... but will get a little bit overwhelmed at times -.-""
Recently alot of pple around me giving birth. Haiz... getting a little emotional again.
Ocean... ya loh. Soon we will be celebrating our own 1st wedding anniversary ^.^v Opps... I realised that next week is my 12th week... so which means another 2 weeks before I hit the 2nd tri
Work and house are coming along fine... but will get a little bit overwhelmed at times -.-"" Recently alot of pple around me giving birth. Haiz... getting a little emotional again.
whitefloral
Member
tubby,
once i knock off, thought of coming hm to login and see how u are doing. Glad everything's alright, to hear the baby's heartbeat is an add blessing.
today's 10DPO, tested. negative. my temperature's still high above coverline tho.
varj, rest well.
once i knock off, thought of coming hm to login and see how u are doing. Glad everything's alright, to hear the baby's heartbeat is an add blessing.
today's 10DPO, tested. negative. my temperature's still high above coverline tho.
varj, rest well.
<font color="ff6000">Hi gals!</font>
had been busy packing my stuff past few days, hence no time to come in here to check on the postings. btw, i'll going back to Spore
in 3 weeks time
heard 1 very sad news from my friend yesterday. her bb gal's brain is not developing well, she's 10 mth old now but still can't crawl & support her back & neck well. the sad thing is her bb was born healthy & normal, not sure why only now then detect this problem. feel very sad for her coz her pregnancy wasn't easy, she had spotting almost everyday for her 1st tri. i'm praying
that her bb get well soon. another sad news, my hubby's grandpa just passed away & we weren't able to go back to attend his funeral. i think based on traditions, there can't be a wedding if someone passed away in the family unless the wedding is held within 100 days. i was discussing this matter with hubby & my mum & we decided to postpone our wedding till Dec 2006 if we really can't have our wedding in Nov 05. i ask my mum if she mind if i get preg & give birth before my wedding, luckily she's ok abt it. so now me & hubby has decided to continue with our ttc mission, hopefully i can be a mum before my wedding.
<font color="ff0000">tiantian,</font> a <font size="+2"><font color="aa00aa">A Happy Belated Birthday</font></font>
hehe... a bit late though, hope u don't mind. glad to hear u had a wonderful b'day. thumbs up for your hubby.
<font color="119911">tubby,</font> i was so worried abt u, luckily everything is ok for u & bb now. wow! u even managed to see & hear your bb's heartbeat. must be a great relief for you! u have crossed a big step, so happy for u
<font color="0077aa">hi positiveme,</font> welcome to join us. feel free to come in here for a chat. sorry to hear abt your loss
take gd care & rest well. u mentioned abt 'this time not successful again', did u have a loss prior to this? i'm sorry if i misread your meaning. i lost my bb in Aug 03 & as u can see, its over a year now. so i'm planning to see a gynae & a TCM soon to get everything check up. u might want to consider seeing a chinese sinseh too.
<font color="aa00aa">hamasaki,</font> wow!! u still so young, in your early twenties only *envy envy*. me already 26, that's why i'm have the urge & in a hurry to get preggie again coz i intend to have 2 kids before i turn 30.
<font color="ff6000">ocean,</font> wow, so fast 32 weeks liao! very soon u will have your bb in your arms. so happy & excited for u.
had been busy packing my stuff past few days, hence no time to come in here to check on the postings. btw, i'll going back to Spore
heard 1 very sad news from my friend yesterday. her bb gal's brain is not developing well, she's 10 mth old now but still can't crawl & support her back & neck well. the sad thing is her bb was born healthy & normal, not sure why only now then detect this problem. feel very sad for her coz her pregnancy wasn't easy, she had spotting almost everyday for her 1st tri. i'm praying
<font color="ff0000">tiantian,</font> a <font size="+2"><font color="aa00aa">A Happy Belated Birthday</font></font>
<font color="119911">tubby,</font> i was so worried abt u, luckily everything is ok for u & bb now. wow! u even managed to see & hear your bb's heartbeat. must be a great relief for you! u have crossed a big step, so happy for u
<font color="0077aa">hi positiveme,</font> welcome to join us. feel free to come in here for a chat. sorry to hear abt your loss
<font color="aa00aa">hamasaki,</font> wow!! u still so young, in your early twenties only *envy envy*. me already 26, that's why i'm have the urge & in a hurry to get preggie again coz i intend to have 2 kids before i turn 30.
<font color="ff6000">ocean,</font> wow, so fast 32 weeks liao! very soon u will have your bb in your arms. so happy & excited for u.
positiveme
New Member
Hi missy
yes this is my second loss
after 1st lost I also try TCM
But this time round I think I need to have a thorough check from my gynae
but nt sure wht to check for..........
yes this is my second loss
after 1st lost I also try TCM
But this time round I think I need to have a thorough check from my gynae
but nt sure wht to check for..........
hi positiveme, welcome to the thread. just want to share with u. i understand how you feel. i had 3 m/c. the feeling of loss, the sadness, the longing and the constant questioning was awful. i did go for a thorough checkup with my gynae after my 2nd m/c. i did blood test and hubby did sperm test and we did chormosome test (very expensive). found nothing wrong. ultrasound showed that i didn't have any problem internally. gynae gave go-ahead to try 3rd time. but 3rd time also end in m/c. gynae could only tell me that sometimes it just happens - either bad egg or bad sperm got to fertilise. just got to try again.
so i turned to tmc after my third m/c in june. i hv been taking chinese medicine for 5 mths now. sinseh said sometimes it's our hormones or 'weak womb' which results in m/c. and this is something that western docs are unable to treat. i have started ttc already but no positive news so far. sinseh said maybe my hormones not adjusted probably yet. don't really know what he means. but i still continue to take the medicine. anything to help in conceiving and have a gd pregnancy lor.
positiveme, i am unable to tell u that all will be ok but we must remain positive okie! just like ur name
do go for a checkup; gynae wld know what tests are to be taken. if it happens to be some 'defects' found in your blood or hubby, don't worry. it is treatable (e.g. ur body views the foetus as a foreign thing and rejects it). the choromosome test is usually not done but i requested for it.
take care! do come to the forum often. it really helps to chat with the gals here.
vnrj ong, welcome to the thread. it helps me in healing. hope it would help u too.
tubby, what a scare! glad tt all is well and u heard ur baby's strong heatbeat!
so i turned to tmc after my third m/c in june. i hv been taking chinese medicine for 5 mths now. sinseh said sometimes it's our hormones or 'weak womb' which results in m/c. and this is something that western docs are unable to treat. i have started ttc already but no positive news so far. sinseh said maybe my hormones not adjusted probably yet. don't really know what he means. but i still continue to take the medicine. anything to help in conceiving and have a gd pregnancy lor.
positiveme, i am unable to tell u that all will be ok but we must remain positive okie! just like ur name
do go for a checkup; gynae wld know what tests are to be taken. if it happens to be some 'defects' found in your blood or hubby, don't worry. it is treatable (e.g. ur body views the foetus as a foreign thing and rejects it). the choromosome test is usually not done but i requested for it.
take care! do come to the forum often. it really helps to chat with the gals here.
vnrj ong, welcome to the thread. it helps me in healing. hope it would help u too.
tubby, what a scare! glad tt all is well and u heard ur baby's strong heatbeat!
<font color="aa00aa">hi positiveme & millie,</font> i'm sorry to hear your losses
1 loss is traumatic enough, not to mention 2 or 3 losses. i totally understand how u gals feel. my last pregnancy was actually my 2nd pregnancy, i terminated my 1st pregnancy bcoz i was young & stupid & didn't think of the consequences. now, i'm filled with grief & regrets, if i have kept my bb, he or she would be 8 yrs old now. both my 1st & 2nd pregnancies were unplanned but i was prepared to keep my 2nd bb but sadly i mc
i think heaven is punishing me for aborting my 1st bb, that why now i have to try so hard & long to get pregnant again
i hope both of u gained strength along the way. don't give up, with the advanced medical technology combined with the chinese medicine, nothing is impossible.
<font color="ff0000">millie,</font> i'm here to jia you jia you with u!
<font color="ff6000">positiveme,</font> take your time to 'bu' your body first & allow yourself to grieve. all the gals r here for u, do come in here if u need to chat.
just read today's news about the newborn bb being thrown down from 8th storey, how can someone be so cold blooded to do this to a bb??!!! didn't they realise there r ppl out here who r dying to have a bb? i'm hope the culprit gets the well deserved punishment.
<font color="ff0000">millie,</font> i'm here to jia you jia you with u!
<font color="ff6000">positiveme,</font> take your time to 'bu' your body first & allow yourself to grieve. all the gals r here for u, do come in here if u need to chat.
just read today's news about the newborn bb being thrown down from 8th storey, how can someone be so cold blooded to do this to a bb??!!! didn't they realise there r ppl out here who r dying to have a bb? i'm hope the culprit gets the well deserved punishment.
J
java
Guest
hi millie, positiveme,
Don't lose hope, we are here to give you emotional support! millie, I hope the tmc treatment will help to boost your body hormones and have a good pregnancy.
hi missy,
Things happen for a reason and we may not see the big picture now. I dun think heaven is punishing you by making u mc ur 2nd bb. In God's time, he will give you another child soon. Last time I also get frustrated why I can't get pregnant. Coz that's all I can think of after I lost Jordan. But God didn't think I was ready yet and he gave me another child only 1 year later. So dun be too hard on yourself. Everyday I pray that I can be a good mother to my children. In the meanwhile, do the things you want to do, coz when you have a child, you won't have so much personal time to yourself.
Don't lose hope, we are here to give you emotional support! millie, I hope the tmc treatment will help to boost your body hormones and have a good pregnancy.
hi missy,
Things happen for a reason and we may not see the big picture now. I dun think heaven is punishing you by making u mc ur 2nd bb. In God's time, he will give you another child soon. Last time I also get frustrated why I can't get pregnant. Coz that's all I can think of after I lost Jordan. But God didn't think I was ready yet and he gave me another child only 1 year later. So dun be too hard on yourself. Everyday I pray that I can be a good mother to my children. In the meanwhile, do the things you want to do, coz when you have a child, you won't have so much personal time to yourself.
hi tubby,
Actually hor me too have the same worry as you leh. I do not have MS except for two mornings. I don't feel much difference now. In fact, I feel the same as my previous pregnancy.(the one that ended with mc) except that my appetite is real bad this round. Thoughts kept coming into my mind even though I have been telling myself to keep an open mind.
Aiyo...so frustrating leh.
Really cannot help to wait for my gynae's visit this Sat leh..
Actually hor me too have the same worry as you leh. I do not have MS except for two mornings. I don't feel much difference now. In fact, I feel the same as my previous pregnancy.(the one that ended with mc) except that my appetite is real bad this round. Thoughts kept coming into my mind even though I have been telling myself to keep an open mind.
Really cannot help to wait for my gynae's visit this Sat leh..
I really feel helpless at times lor. Even though I can go all way out to console and encourage others but I always fail to ease my own mind.
I can be a real paranoid at times lor. My hubby kept consoling me.. telling me that everything will be fine but I find it very difficult leh. Very bad hor.
I can be a real paranoid at times lor. My hubby kept consoling me.. telling me that everything will be fine but I find it very difficult leh. Very bad hor.
Hi gals!
finally got some time to write.
Miao2, don't despair. The previous loss has made all of us here lost the 'innocence' of pregnancy. We just find it difficult to relax. But it is also something that we must all learn. Even me, I find it difficult to participate in the other MTB discussion cos I find that their concerns are so different from mine. Even till now, I don't have the courage to go shop for baby's stuff or think of baby's name... the last thing on my mind is whether I get stretchmark or whether I should use cream/lotion/oil to protect myself. But all the same, I track along... with the support of my hubby and all of you gals here
So must learn to look on the bright side ok? I think I am finally going to do some window shopping for baby stuff next week.
missy, like what java says, some things are unexplainable. I have known of this US lady who lost a total of 5 pregnancies.. all either 2nd tri/3rd tri losses... but she still soldier on. At times, she also wonder if she has done anything wrong, but I don't think she could have possibly done anything so bad that she actually lost 5 children...So, don't blame yourself for it, ok? I am very sure your time will come.
Hi to all the rest of the girls
I am looking forward to my gynae visit tomorrow. Quite excited about it. It will definitely help ease some of the paranoia I had the past week
Nothing specific.. just that it is too long between visits I supposed!
Ok, will post about my gynae visit tomorrow afternoon!
folic
finally got some time to write.
Miao2, don't despair. The previous loss has made all of us here lost the 'innocence' of pregnancy. We just find it difficult to relax. But it is also something that we must all learn. Even me, I find it difficult to participate in the other MTB discussion cos I find that their concerns are so different from mine. Even till now, I don't have the courage to go shop for baby's stuff or think of baby's name... the last thing on my mind is whether I get stretchmark or whether I should use cream/lotion/oil to protect myself. But all the same, I track along... with the support of my hubby and all of you gals here
missy, like what java says, some things are unexplainable. I have known of this US lady who lost a total of 5 pregnancies.. all either 2nd tri/3rd tri losses... but she still soldier on. At times, she also wonder if she has done anything wrong, but I don't think she could have possibly done anything so bad that she actually lost 5 children...So, don't blame yourself for it, ok? I am very sure your time will come.
Hi to all the rest of the girls
folic
hi missylee, i understand yr urge to have a baby. me also want to have a baby too.. i guess if i could get pregnate next year, i will be 24 liao..
we jia you together..
i pray hard hard for yr friend child.. hope she will recover soon..
hi millie ang, positive and missy, i'm so sorry to hear of yr recurrent miscarriages.. 1 loss is already sooo traumatic, not to mention the 2nd and third one.. feeling so sorry for u gals..
i hope all of us here will be strong.. let's work hard together towards our goal to be mummys.. hope one day, we can graduate together..
we jia you together..
i pray hard hard for yr friend child.. hope she will recover soon..
hi millie ang, positive and missy, i'm so sorry to hear of yr recurrent miscarriages.. 1 loss is already sooo traumatic, not to mention the 2nd and third one.. feeling so sorry for u gals..
i hope all of us here will be strong.. let's work hard together towards our goal to be mummys.. hope one day, we can graduate together..
hi miao, i think its normal to feel apprenhensive abt your current pregnancy esp after you've been thru a loss before. but fear not, just remind yourself that u have already crossed a big hurdle & that is seeing your
heartbeat
statistic shows that the risk of miscarriage is greatly reduced once hearbeat is detected. even though u are feeling helpless & uneasy abt your pregnancy, just tell yourself that very soon u will have a bouncy bb in your arms. not all pregnancy r the same, u might not have experience any bad MS yet, but its doesn't mean anything. keep yourself occupied & look on the bright side, ok? keep us update of your next appt.
hi folic, thanks for your kind words. don't worry, i'm sure everything is going well for your bb. the critical period has passed, all u need to do now is to wait till full term & prepare for your delivery. better do some shopping
now.
hi java, thanks for your encouragement. i 'kan kai' more now & i'm looking on the bright side. i guess my body is still not ready for a pregnancy yet. i will just wait for my gynae appt & hope everything turns out well.
hi hamasaki, ohh... u r so young *envy envy*
i'm sure u will graduate soon & i hope we can get pregnant by next yr & graduate together.
hi folic, thanks for your kind words. don't worry, i'm sure everything is going well for your bb. the critical period has passed, all u need to do now is to wait till full term & prepare for your delivery. better do some shopping
hi java, thanks for your encouragement. i 'kan kai' more now & i'm looking on the bright side. i guess my body is still not ready for a pregnancy yet. i will just wait for my gynae appt & hope everything turns out well.
hi hamasaki, ohh... u r so young *envy envy*
i'm sure u will graduate soon & i hope we can get pregnant by next yr & graduate together.
thanks missy for yr encouragement..
i'm sure we can get pregnate next year if we work hard towards our goal..
in the meantime, i am letting myself loose and relaxing ny whole body.. dun want to think of pregnancy for the time being.. juz want to build up my body strong and also let nature take its course..
i'm sure we can get pregnate next year if we work hard towards our goal..
in the meantime, i am letting myself loose and relaxing ny whole body.. dun want to think of pregnancy for the time being.. juz want to build up my body strong and also let nature take its course..
hi folic,
yup.. will try *veri veri hard* not to focus on my symptons.... but sometimes, can't help it lah.. will still get paranoid... thks for encouraging me on... i look forward to ur updates tomoro...
hey positiveme,
i think a visit to ur gynae for a thorough checkup might do u good... reason being, if *touchwood*, gynae found out something not right, at least can offer medication/simple procedures before ur nix TTC attempt... then u'll be able to face ur new pregnancy wif greater confidence.. of cos, if nothing detected, u'll know ur body is in the right condition to conceive... the cycle i TTC after my m/c, i went to gynae for ultrasound & found out dat i got rather thin menstrual lining.. so i got medication to fatten up my lining to prepare for implantation.. by heaven's grace, i got pregnant dat veri cycle...
althou still feeling veri jittery & paranoid, somehow i felt dat the medication i took helped... ease some of my fears off...
hi missy_lee,
sorry to hear abt ur hubby's grandpa... now dat there's twist of events, u r back to TTC action again!! *sprinkle bb-dust to u* i think for most of us here, we'll most likely tend to link our m/c to retribution at some pt of time during our grieving... i often wonder abt things i shdn't say or do... but i guess we'll neber hv our answers... i'll cheer u ON here... do let us know when u r getting into action & i'll pass u some of my horny smses.... hahhaa...
hey miaomiao,
i think we both quite alike... can say many encouraging words to others but can't do the same for myself... aii... veri ironic hor?? i'm sure we'll be able to ride thru' dis stage together okie? pray for u & bb dis coming sat...
*hugz*
yup.. will try *veri veri hard* not to focus on my symptons.... but sometimes, can't help it lah.. will still get paranoid... thks for encouraging me on... i look forward to ur updates tomoro...
hey positiveme,
i think a visit to ur gynae for a thorough checkup might do u good... reason being, if *touchwood*, gynae found out something not right, at least can offer medication/simple procedures before ur nix TTC attempt... then u'll be able to face ur new pregnancy wif greater confidence.. of cos, if nothing detected, u'll know ur body is in the right condition to conceive... the cycle i TTC after my m/c, i went to gynae for ultrasound & found out dat i got rather thin menstrual lining.. so i got medication to fatten up my lining to prepare for implantation.. by heaven's grace, i got pregnant dat veri cycle...
hi missy_lee,
sorry to hear abt ur hubby's grandpa... now dat there's twist of events, u r back to TTC action again!! *sprinkle bb-dust to u* i think for most of us here, we'll most likely tend to link our m/c to retribution at some pt of time during our grieving... i often wonder abt things i shdn't say or do... but i guess we'll neber hv our answers... i'll cheer u ON here... do let us know when u r getting into action & i'll pass u some of my horny smses.... hahhaa...
hey miaomiao,
i think we both quite alike... can say many encouraging words to others but can't do the same for myself... aii... veri ironic hor?? i'm sure we'll be able to ride thru' dis stage together okie? pray for u & bb dis coming sat...
gals, i am really glad to hv u for your support or encouragement! all of us experienced different cases of m/c and loss. it is really difficult to be innocent and be positive always during next pregnancy. i believe i will be like that again when my turn comes. to all pregnant mums here, it's not easy but remain positive yah! we encourage one another.
missy, don't be sad and dwell on wat happened in the past. u must hv ur reasons. we tend to blame ourselves for the m/c. me too. try not to. we support each other okie!
missy, don't be sad and dwell on wat happened in the past. u must hv ur reasons. we tend to blame ourselves for the m/c. me too. try not to. we support each other okie!
hi millie,sorry to hear about your 3 m/c,life is full of choices and it is our choice to look things at the brighter side...we will jia you for you **hughug**.
hi missy, we all make mistakes in life,dont be harsh to yourself ok
hi positiveme..sorry to hear about your 2nd m/c..be strong ok
hi missy, we all make mistakes in life,dont be harsh to yourself ok
hi positiveme..sorry to hear about your 2nd m/c..be strong ok
positiveme
New Member
Hi millie
this morning read abt yr posting, really v v sad...but its good you can think positively like my nick
Hi gals
for our cases, we are worry for m/c to happen bt nevertheless we must keep trying one day we'll suceed.
my first pregancy didn't work & it terminate naturally after tht I was v v disheartened & dare not think of trying again
After sometime of rest plus TCM, I started to give it a try again
After mths of trying, I manage to have again...
However, this time the foetus didn't grow, I have to terminate him/her. Though I feel this time the impact on me will be greater bcos with those injections & medicine, the result is still like that
I don't know what went wrong, or sometimes I feel is it predestined that I cannot be a mum ????
This time round I will really like to do a full checkup on both my hubby & me so that we can minimise whatever risk
To my gynae he also feel its v common for m/c bt to me I don't feel so.
Sorry for my long message
Just releasing my thots
Have a good day, ladies!
There's always sunshine
this morning read abt yr posting, really v v sad...but its good you can think positively like my nick
Hi gals
for our cases, we are worry for m/c to happen bt nevertheless we must keep trying one day we'll suceed.
my first pregancy didn't work & it terminate naturally after tht I was v v disheartened & dare not think of trying again
After sometime of rest plus TCM, I started to give it a try again
After mths of trying, I manage to have again...
However, this time the foetus didn't grow, I have to terminate him/her. Though I feel this time the impact on me will be greater bcos with those injections & medicine, the result is still like that
I don't know what went wrong, or sometimes I feel is it predestined that I cannot be a mum ????
This time round I will really like to do a full checkup on both my hubby & me so that we can minimise whatever risk
To my gynae he also feel its v common for m/c bt to me I don't feel so.
Sorry for my long message
Just releasing my thots
Have a good day, ladies!
There's always sunshine
J
java
Guest
Something for you all to read
Discover the 90/10 Principle. It will change your life (at least the way u
react to situations). What is this principle?
10% of life is made up of what happens to you. 90% is decided by how you
react. What does this mean?
We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us. We cannot stop
the car from breaking down; the plane being late in arriving, which throws
our whole schedule off. A driver may cut us off in traffic. We have no
control over
this 10%. The other 90% is different. You determine the other 90%. How? By
your reaction. You cannot control a red light., but YOU can control how you
react.
Let's use an example.
You are eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup
of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over what just
happened. What happens next will be determined by how you react.
1. You curse.
2. You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over.
3. She breaks down in tears.
4. After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize her for
placing the cup too close to the edge of the table.
5. A short verbal battle follows.
6. You storm upstairs and change your shirt.
7. Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to
finish breakfast and get ready for school.
8. She misses the bus.
9. Your spouse must leave immediately for work.
10. You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school.
11. Because you are late, you drive 110 km/h in a 80 km/h speed limit.
12. After a 15-minute delay and throwing $300 & some demerit points
(traffic fine) away, you arrive at school.
13. Your daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye.
14. You arrive at the office 20 minutes late, because of how you reacted in
the morning.
Why did you have a bad day?
A) Did the coffee cause it?
B) Did your daughter cause it?
C) Did the policeman cause it
D) Did you cause it?
The answer is obviously D. You had no control over what happened with the
coffee. How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day.
Here is what could have and should have happened....
1. Coffee splashes over you.
2. Your daughter is about to cry.
3. You gently say, "It's ok honey, you just need to be more careful next
time".
4. Grabbing a towel you rush upstairs.
5. After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase, you come back down in
time to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus.
6. She turns and waves.
7. You and your spouse kiss before you go to work.
8. You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff.
9. Your boss comments on how good the day you are having.
Notice the difference? Two different scenarios. Both started the same. Both
ended different. Why? Because of how you REACTED.
You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens. The other 90%
was determined by your reaction. Here are some ways to apply the 90/10
principle. If someone says something negative about you, don't be a sponge.
Let the attack roll off like water on glass. You don't have to let the
negative comment affect you. React properly and it will not ruin your day.
A wrong reaction could result in losing someone you like, being fired,
getting stressed out, etc. How do you react if someone cuts you off in
traffic?
Do you lose your temper? Pound on the steering wheel and hurt your own
fingers? Do you curse? Does your blood pressure rocket? Do you try and
bump them? Why let the cars ruin your drive?
Remember the 90/10 principle, and do not worry about it.
You are told you lost your job. Why lose sleep and get irritated? It will
work out. Use your worrying energy and time into finding another job. The
plane is late; it is going to mangle your schedule for the day.
Why take out your frustration on the flight attendant?
She has no control over what is going on. Use your time to study, get to
know the other passengers. Why get stressed out? It will just make things
worse. Now you know the 90-10 principle. Apply it and you will be amazed at
the results.You will lose nothing if you try it.
The 90-10 principle is incredible. It seems simple common-sense but very
few apply this principle! The result? Millions of people are suffering from
undeserved stress, court trials, problems and heartaches. They never seem
to
be a success in life. Bad days follow bad days. Terrible things seem to be
constantly happening. There is constant stress, lack of joy, and broken
relationships. Worry consumes time. Anger breaks friendships and life seems
dreary and is not enjoyed to the fullest.
Life is a bore and often seems cruel.
Does this describe you?
If so, do not be discouraged. You can be different!
Understand and apply the 90/10 principle.
It will change your life!
Discover the 90/10 Principle. It will change your life (at least the way u
react to situations). What is this principle?
10% of life is made up of what happens to you. 90% is decided by how you
react. What does this mean?
We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us. We cannot stop
the car from breaking down; the plane being late in arriving, which throws
our whole schedule off. A driver may cut us off in traffic. We have no
control over
this 10%. The other 90% is different. You determine the other 90%. How? By
your reaction. You cannot control a red light., but YOU can control how you
react.
Let's use an example.
You are eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup
of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over what just
happened. What happens next will be determined by how you react.
1. You curse.
2. You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over.
3. She breaks down in tears.
4. After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize her for
placing the cup too close to the edge of the table.
5. A short verbal battle follows.
6. You storm upstairs and change your shirt.
7. Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to
finish breakfast and get ready for school.
8. She misses the bus.
9. Your spouse must leave immediately for work.
10. You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school.
11. Because you are late, you drive 110 km/h in a 80 km/h speed limit.
12. After a 15-minute delay and throwing $300 & some demerit points
(traffic fine) away, you arrive at school.
13. Your daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye.
14. You arrive at the office 20 minutes late, because of how you reacted in
the morning.
Why did you have a bad day?
A) Did the coffee cause it?
B) Did your daughter cause it?
C) Did the policeman cause it
D) Did you cause it?
The answer is obviously D. You had no control over what happened with the
coffee. How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day.
Here is what could have and should have happened....
1. Coffee splashes over you.
2. Your daughter is about to cry.
3. You gently say, "It's ok honey, you just need to be more careful next
time".
4. Grabbing a towel you rush upstairs.
5. After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase, you come back down in
time to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus.
6. She turns and waves.
7. You and your spouse kiss before you go to work.
8. You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff.
9. Your boss comments on how good the day you are having.
Notice the difference? Two different scenarios. Both started the same. Both
ended different. Why? Because of how you REACTED.
You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens. The other 90%
was determined by your reaction. Here are some ways to apply the 90/10
principle. If someone says something negative about you, don't be a sponge.
Let the attack roll off like water on glass. You don't have to let the
negative comment affect you. React properly and it will not ruin your day.
A wrong reaction could result in losing someone you like, being fired,
getting stressed out, etc. How do you react if someone cuts you off in
traffic?
Do you lose your temper? Pound on the steering wheel and hurt your own
fingers? Do you curse? Does your blood pressure rocket? Do you try and
bump them? Why let the cars ruin your drive?
Remember the 90/10 principle, and do not worry about it.
You are told you lost your job. Why lose sleep and get irritated? It will
work out. Use your worrying energy and time into finding another job. The
plane is late; it is going to mangle your schedule for the day.
Why take out your frustration on the flight attendant?
She has no control over what is going on. Use your time to study, get to
know the other passengers. Why get stressed out? It will just make things
worse. Now you know the 90-10 principle. Apply it and you will be amazed at
the results.You will lose nothing if you try it.
The 90-10 principle is incredible. It seems simple common-sense but very
few apply this principle! The result? Millions of people are suffering from
undeserved stress, court trials, problems and heartaches. They never seem
to
be a success in life. Bad days follow bad days. Terrible things seem to be
constantly happening. There is constant stress, lack of joy, and broken
relationships. Worry consumes time. Anger breaks friendships and life seems
dreary and is not enjoyed to the fullest.
Life is a bore and often seems cruel.
Does this describe you?
If so, do not be discouraged. You can be different!
Understand and apply the 90/10 principle.
It will change your life!
Hi Morning gals,
Missy,
It's never too late to wish someone happy birthday. It's the thought that counts. Thanks.
Do not grieved over your loss, let's jia you together ok?
Folic and Miao2,
All the best to your checkup today and sat. Cheers.
Java,
Tks for sharing the 90/10 principle. I fully agree with you.
Missy,
It's never too late to wish someone happy birthday. It's the thought that counts. Thanks.
Do not grieved over your loss, let's jia you together ok?
Folic and Miao2,
All the best to your checkup today and sat. Cheers.
Java,
Tks for sharing the 90/10 principle. I fully agree with you.
positiveme
New Member
Hi Java
Thanks for sharing such a good article
so motivating & encouraging
I think we need more of this here !
Thanks for sharing such a good article
so motivating & encouraging
I think we need more of this here !
Hi gals!
how's everyone today?
I just got back from my checkup. Everything is fine.
Baby weighs 660g and has chubby face like me
I am glad that the doctor did a cervical check for me, to ensure that I do not have incompetent cervix. I had wanted to ask her to do it for me during the last visit but forgot. Anyway, it shows that my cervix is closed and everything is fine. That gives me peace of mind. My next visit will be on 27th Dec, which I will be 28 weeks then. This is beginning to be more real for me. The nurse asked if I have decided on the room type as well... that sorts of makes reality sink in
ok, that's all for now. Need to catch up on office mail. Talk later!
folic
how's everyone today?
I just got back from my checkup. Everything is fine.
ok, that's all for now. Need to catch up on office mail. Talk later!
folic
J
java
Guest
hi folic,
Glad ur checkup went well. How did u know your bb got chubby face? u saw her front view from the ultrasound? Eh ur next ceheckup is 3 days after mine. So have u decided on your room type? I tot u wanted VIP suite?
Glad ur checkup went well. How did u know your bb got chubby face? u saw her front view from the ultrasound? Eh ur next ceheckup is 3 days after mine. So have u decided on your room type? I tot u wanted VIP suite?
J
java
Guest
u know I'm surrounded by viruses. All the ppl sitting around me is either having flu or cough. jia lat! I think I better take more Vit C!
J
java
Guest
hi folic,
So how much is a single room in RH? I just upgraded my 4 bedded in TMC to 2 bedded. Do u know even the 2 bedded got with/without balcony. I mean why do I need a room with balcony. As if I go there for holiday or what! I ate nasi briyani for lunch. Now suffering the after effects of overeating, feeling so sleepppyyyyyy. How come u dun wan to take leave today? Last time I ask my gynae to give me MC so I can go home and rest. Maybe I'm not as hardworking as u lah. Always find ways to eat snake!
So how much is a single room in RH? I just upgraded my 4 bedded in TMC to 2 bedded. Do u know even the 2 bedded got with/without balcony. I mean why do I need a room with balcony. As if I go there for holiday or what! I ate nasi briyani for lunch. Now suffering the after effects of overeating, feeling so sleepppyyyyyy. How come u dun wan to take leave today? Last time I ask my gynae to give me MC so I can go home and rest. Maybe I'm not as hardworking as u lah. Always find ways to eat snake!
Hi Positiveme,
Be strong ok...in my opinion....most gynaes are too used to such m/c...that's why gynaes always say m/c is very common. But I know it's very difficult to accept it.
I lost my baby at 5wks this Oct...I had bad bleeing suddenly & suddenly no more heartbeat. I know everyone here is very encouraging & I really appreciate it. I try to work & when I'm busy I won't think so much. But whether I'm on my journey home or when I've nothing to do, I'll still think of it & cry. My hubby & mum told me that maybe it's not fated, maybe it's not healthy...so if I keep it, also no use. But till now, I still don't understand what and why it happened to me.
But pls don't give up hope. We must persevere. I'm also seeing a TMC now...hope I can 'bu' my body & then maybe when I'm healthy, I'll try again. My two sis-in-laws are giving birth in Jan & Feb 05...I'm happy for them but at the same time also feel a bit sour & sad for myself. Sigh...maybe I think too much already...sorry, I'm here to encourage you....but now, seem like I'm talking all the negative things.
Anyway, take good care & continue to come to this thread.
Be strong ok...in my opinion....most gynaes are too used to such m/c...that's why gynaes always say m/c is very common. But I know it's very difficult to accept it.
I lost my baby at 5wks this Oct...I had bad bleeing suddenly & suddenly no more heartbeat. I know everyone here is very encouraging & I really appreciate it. I try to work & when I'm busy I won't think so much. But whether I'm on my journey home or when I've nothing to do, I'll still think of it & cry. My hubby & mum told me that maybe it's not fated, maybe it's not healthy...so if I keep it, also no use. But till now, I still don't understand what and why it happened to me.
But pls don't give up hope. We must persevere. I'm also seeing a TMC now...hope I can 'bu' my body & then maybe when I'm healthy, I'll try again. My two sis-in-laws are giving birth in Jan & Feb 05...I'm happy for them but at the same time also feel a bit sour & sad for myself. Sigh...maybe I think too much already...sorry, I'm here to encourage you....but now, seem like I'm talking all the negative things.
Anyway, take good care & continue to come to this thread.
Hi Java, I donno how much is it.. can't remember now. They will give me estimated bill at my next visit. TMC is so weird, so like hotel...
I am taking single room cos my company is paying 3k for delivery charges/hospital charges. So I guess that makes it affordable for me.
Tiantian, it is jus a normal scan. But can see baby's face is round round chubby chubby one.
folic
Tiantian, it is jus a normal scan. But can see baby's face is round round chubby chubby one.
folic
positiveme
New Member
Hi Sum
nice to know you
Your gynae did any tests on you after yr m/c?
For my case, I terminate my pregancy as its not growing....
My gynae told me maybe its not normal so nature will terminate itself
Its normal to feel envy, but just tell ourselves don't think of it so we won't have stress & tell ourselves one day we will be like tht
Hi Folic
Yr baby so cute, I like baby with chubby cheeks....I am sure you looking forward to hold your baby in yr arms
take care
nice to know you
Your gynae did any tests on you after yr m/c?
For my case, I terminate my pregancy as its not growing....
My gynae told me maybe its not normal so nature will terminate itself
Its normal to feel envy, but just tell ourselves don't think of it so we won't have stress & tell ourselves one day we will be like tht
Hi Folic
Yr baby so cute, I like baby with chubby cheeks....I am sure you looking forward to hold your baby in yr arms
hi folic so happy that ur checkup went well. how cute...ur daughter has chubby face!
java, thks for the encouraging 90/10 principle. u take care of ur health yah!
ep2004 and positiveme, thks for support. i am fine. sometimes i may feel low but i try to be positive and look forward!
my sis-in-law giving birth soon...i am envious of her but i still look forward to the day tt i can hold my own baby.
java, thks for the encouraging 90/10 principle. u take care of ur health yah!
ep2004 and positiveme, thks for support. i am fine. sometimes i may feel low but i try to be positive and look forward!
sum, it's naturally to hv negative thoughts and feel low. it's easy to say 'let it go' but it takes time. take ur time to grieve and heal okie. even till today, i hv my low moments.
my sis-in-law got pregnant after my 2nd m/c and when i suffer my 3rd m/c, i was so jealous of her and feel so depressed. but i've gotten over it and i look forward to seeing my niece soon. i'm going to be an aunt! what a wonderful thought!
my sis-in-law got pregnant after my 2nd m/c and when i suffer my 3rd m/c, i was so jealous of her and feel so depressed. but i've gotten over it and i look forward to seeing my niece soon. i'm going to be an aunt! what a wonderful thought!
Hi Positiveme, Hamasaki, ep2004, millie ang,
Thank you very much for your valuable encouragement & concern. Think I really need more time to heal...although at times I thought I'm ok & more optimistic... but when I suddenly think of it, or when colleagues asked me, I'll still feel pain inside my heart. I'll try my best to get over it. My 2 yr old daughter needs me...yes..she still needs me...so I must be strong.
Positiveme,
My gynae didn't do any test for me. She said it's common to m/c in 1st trimester. I was having bad flu then...she said my m/c could be due to bad flu...virus attacked the fetus...or could be fetus unhealthy. She doesn't have a definite answer. I think this kind of thing also very difficult to have a concrete answer.
Thank you very much for your valuable encouragement & concern. Think I really need more time to heal...although at times I thought I'm ok & more optimistic... but when I suddenly think of it, or when colleagues asked me, I'll still feel pain inside my heart. I'll try my best to get over it. My 2 yr old daughter needs me...yes..she still needs me...so I must be strong.
Positiveme,
My gynae didn't do any test for me. She said it's common to m/c in 1st trimester. I was having bad flu then...she said my m/c could be due to bad flu...virus attacked the fetus...or could be fetus unhealthy. She doesn't have a definite answer. I think this kind of thing also very difficult to have a concrete answer.
J
java
Guest
Good morning gals!!! Thank God its Friday!!!!!!!
Last night I was so tired and rather heaty, so went to drink some "liang" cha. Really look forward to weekends to sleep!!! My MIL won 4D, abt $3K. So this Sunday she is treating us to a nice dinner!
hi millie,
Dun be too sad. I'm sure your turn to carry your own baby will come soon. You know all along after my first lost, I've been hoping and hoping for the day I can carry my own baby. Now that I'm in my 3rd tri already, recently I've been having fears of whether I will be able to manage my new baby and whether I will be a good mother. Coz many of my frens after they give birth, they practically dun have anymore personal time for themselves! So everyday I pray that I can be a good and patient mother. Last time before I got pregnant, and was anxious to get pregnant, my hubby always tell me dun have to be envious of others who have babies of their own. We should treasure the couplehood and free time we have now, coz we can be like those ppl with kids one day, but those with kids cannot be like us so carefree. So in the meantime, really treasure the carefree life you have now, next time we will be complaining abt how our babies keep waking us up in the middle of the night, how he/she is fussy abt their food, how rebellious they are, etc.
Last night I was so tired and rather heaty, so went to drink some "liang" cha. Really look forward to weekends to sleep!!! My MIL won 4D, abt $3K. So this Sunday she is treating us to a nice dinner!
hi millie,
Dun be too sad. I'm sure your turn to carry your own baby will come soon. You know all along after my first lost, I've been hoping and hoping for the day I can carry my own baby. Now that I'm in my 3rd tri already, recently I've been having fears of whether I will be able to manage my new baby and whether I will be a good mother. Coz many of my frens after they give birth, they practically dun have anymore personal time for themselves! So everyday I pray that I can be a good and patient mother. Last time before I got pregnant, and was anxious to get pregnant, my hubby always tell me dun have to be envious of others who have babies of their own. We should treasure the couplehood and free time we have now, coz we can be like those ppl with kids one day, but those with kids cannot be like us so carefree. So in the meantime, really treasure the carefree life you have now, next time we will be complaining abt how our babies keep waking us up in the middle of the night, how he/she is fussy abt their food, how rebellious they are, etc.
positiveme
New Member
Hi Sum
so you have a lovely daughter so lucky, I am sure you be able to get pregnant again
Hi Millie
I know the feelings when someone so near to you are pregnant....my sil just gave birth to a baby girl, that time she said she want to try for a girl after having a boy, I can see so fast she get pregnant and so fast she giving birthbut anyway they don't know about my case
Hi Java
You have good food to eat loh!
I buy so long 4Ds never gena more than $100 ha ha
I also know we will miss our two person's world when have kids but i think the joy we have when we have our own kids will be greater than just two person's world
so you have a lovely daughter so lucky, I am sure you be able to get pregnant again
Hi Millie
I know the feelings when someone so near to you are pregnant....my sil just gave birth to a baby girl, that time she said she want to try for a girl after having a boy, I can see so fast she get pregnant and so fast she giving birthbut anyway they don't know about my case
Hi Java
You have good food to eat loh!
I buy so long 4Ds never gena more than $100 ha ha
I also know we will miss our two person's world when have kids but i think the joy we have when we have our own kids will be greater than just two person's world
welcome sum, take time to heal yr pains and wounds.. i understand how u feel.. ny friend and hubby have stop talking to me abt my miscarriage thing coz they do not want to upset me or make me think of what had happened the previous time..
But sometimes a slip of mouth, they ask me abt the matter which upset me a lot, but then i still try my best to move on..
take some time to heal and grief.. and plus U must be strong cos yr gal needs u by her side.. Take great care dear..
wow java, yr mil sooo lucky.. $3K a lot of $$.. so enjoy a great food feast this sun.. so good..
hehehe tian, i even worse, never win 4-D before.. always got 3 numbers right instead of 4.. so pai chep..
But sometimes a slip of mouth, they ask me abt the matter which upset me a lot, but then i still try my best to move on..
take some time to heal and grief.. and plus U must be strong cos yr gal needs u by her side.. Take great care dear..
wow java, yr mil sooo lucky.. $3K a lot of $$.. so enjoy a great food feast this sun.. so good..
hehehe tian, i even worse, never win 4-D before.. always got 3 numbers right instead of 4.. so pai chep..
hamasaki, tiantian, positiveme,
i really appreciate your wishes & encouragement. i will & still learning to be stronger; for the sake of those pple who loved me & most of all...for the sake of everyone here! I hope one day i can share u everyone here about my good news!!
I don't have to work tomorrow...will come in again on Monday. Take care!!
i really appreciate your wishes & encouragement. i will & still learning to be stronger; for the sake of those pple who loved me & most of all...for the sake of everyone here! I hope one day i can share u everyone here about my good news!!
I don't have to work tomorrow...will come in again on Monday. Take care!!
positiveme
New Member
Hi gals
Let's enjoy our weekends & let any unhappiness sweeps by the wind!
Let's enjoy our weekends & let any unhappiness sweeps by the wind!
Hi Missy... sorry about the loss. I hope that your TTC attempts will bear fruit soon and good to know that your mum is ok with it. Lotsa baby dust to you.
Folic... happy that you and your baby are both doing well... and most of all everything is getting more real for you. I agree that after the experience... I don't really feel like participating in the other MTB threads because some how the concerns are very different and they may not really understand our fears.
PositiveMe and Sum... like most of us here... we will feel sore at the early stage (in fact I still feel that unless someone has gone through the same experience he or she will never fully understand). But one thing for sure is that time will heal all wounds and when you look back... you will realise that you have become a stonger person from that experience. Go slow with yourself... I'm sure one day you will be like the rest of us... moving on and welcoming a new baby.
Ladies, I finally got to see my baby again yesterday... everything went well and I am really amazed by the increase in size even though its only been 3 weeks. Saw one of the hands and it moved a little (at least that's what we thought)... hubby said that its a little wave from the baby =)
Folic... happy that you and your baby are both doing well... and most of all everything is getting more real for you. I agree that after the experience... I don't really feel like participating in the other MTB threads because some how the concerns are very different and they may not really understand our fears.
PositiveMe and Sum... like most of us here... we will feel sore at the early stage (in fact I still feel that unless someone has gone through the same experience he or she will never fully understand). But one thing for sure is that time will heal all wounds and when you look back... you will realise that you have become a stonger person from that experience. Go slow with yourself... I'm sure one day you will be like the rest of us... moving on and welcoming a new baby.
Ladies, I finally got to see my baby again yesterday... everything went well and I am really amazed by the increase in size even though its only been 3 weeks. Saw one of the hands and it moved a little (at least that's what we thought
)... hubby said that its a little wave from the baby =)
J
java
Guest
Morning gals,
Hope you all have a great day today! Spend the weekend eating alot of food. So this week must cut down on my calories liao.
hi odie,
That's really cute. So far haven been able to see any waving action from my bb, coz my gynae scans very fast. Before I can see any moving actions, she freeze the screen liao.
Hope you all have a great day today! Spend the weekend eating alot of food. So this week must cut down on my calories liao.
hi odie,
That's really cute. So far haven been able to see any waving action from my bb, coz my gynae scans very fast. Before I can see any moving actions, she freeze the screen liao.