Thank you faith65
Support group - Miscarriages
- Thread starter linda
- Start date
Only need wife signature, Maybe you can ask your hubby pickup up after ops for emotionally support.
Anyway once went in hubby cannot be around, hubby waited outside for hours alone and me inside the day surgery for hours.
shiningstars
Active Member
The husband dont need to sign. Only your signature is enough. For my case, I did it at Mt E Novena. So I had a room to myself and hubbs was with me throughout. Until they pushed me to the ops theatre. After that they pushed me back to my room and hubbs was waiting for me there. Remember to wear disposable (they will provide if u didnt bring) and bring your own pads. The hosp only provide those old sch tie string.
It will be good to have your hubbs there to send you back as you will feel emotionally and physically weak after that.
It will be good to have your hubbs there to send you back as you will feel emotionally and physically weak after that.
Give a hope
Well-Known Member
Which gynae did u c? Fertility gynae? Means not seeing high risk gynae? If got scar need to be removed? My menses from 1st month aft procedure came 4 days den 2nd month 3 days this month left only 2 days...it makes me worry.
Btw u rest well k...jiayou for ur 2nd bundle of joy
shiningstars
Active Member
I didnt insert the pill. I took it orally. You will get cramps after eating the pill and may start bleeding. So once you take the pill you need to wear your pad already. It is the same medicine for those who take when they mc naturally.
Okie, actually I m still consuming progynova,duphaston, n insert crinone gel till I c my gynea tmr. Cos I m scared that 'it' will drop out n mc naturally these few day if I didn't consume all these supporting medicine.(sound v stupid hor, since it already confirmed the baby had dead). But I don't want it to mc naturally as I don't want on my own eyes. So I decided to support it till I go for D&C.
blissfullife
Member
For D&C, they will insert the medication at our vaginal to open it up and soften it..whereas for natural it's oral..
Happy001, I think u can stop taking it cuz it's not gonna pop out immediately, the body will need some time to Recognise that it's no longer supporting the baby, only then will u start having some cramps..after which only then will your body start pushing it out..
Happy001, I think u can stop taking it cuz it's not gonna pop out immediately, the body will need some time to Recognise that it's no longer supporting the baby, only then will u start having some cramps..after which only then will your body start pushing it out..
Almondearie
Well-Known Member
Just wanted to drop a word of encouragement. Take things one day at a time. Crying it out helps but at the back of ur mind, always know there is hope.
I lose my first pregnancy at 7 weeks last Aug. This Aug I'm 36 weeks pregnant.
Hugs to all of you. Stay strong and have faith.
I was thinking of sending the tissue to lab testing after my D&C, anybody did it before? I not sure if it is worth or not as I always heard others saying if the baby stop growing n had no hb, it is normally due to chromosome abnormal. I don't know how truth it is.
This is my first fet n I got pregnant but at the same time mc at the 8 weeks due to no hb detected. I don't know I am consider lucky or not. To strike in the first fet but mc after that.
This is my first fet n I got pregnant but at the same time mc at the 8 weeks due to no hb detected. I don't know I am consider lucky or not. To strike in the first fet but mc after that.
blissfullife
Member
Aww..congrats..!! Really appreciate such encouragement..hope that all of us will 1 day be posting such wonderful news by next year..it gives me so much hope to hear/read abt ple who had a successful pregnancy after a MC..sending u loadsa of love and blessing for the blessed precious moments..
Almondearie
Well-Known Member
Same , I got positive beta from my first fresh cycle. Also an ivf patient. Lost it at 7 weeks, heard hb at 6 then the hb stopped. I trusted my doc, and took faith that the bb is better off where he/she is today than being born unhealthy. And that it's a chromosomes abnormality. 1st time, I think no need to test. Unless u feel v strongly for that to give u closure. 2nd time, maybe. But my fren didn't and she had a live birth 3rd try. We r lucky people dear, cos there r still many who can't get a positive beta after many tries. Hang in there.
Hi Almondearie,
Where u perform ur ivf? And when you intend to go for your 2nd ivf again?
Almondearie
Well-Known Member
I did it in kkh. Under Dr Tan Heng Hao.
I did my 1st fresh cycle in July last year. Transferred 1. Positive beta but lost it at 7 weeks. Did a d&e. My 2nd ivf attempt was my 1st fet, during Jan this year. Transferred 2, positive beta and a singleton, currently in my 36th week.
I believe in trying soon but not too soon. Was supposed to go for nov/dec cycle but kkh ivf center was closed for xmas. Other than the physical healing, we need to be balanced emotionally as well. What helped me was a pandora charm which I bought to signify my lost baby and I wore it everyday. Some days I speak with him/her while staring at the nice blue sky cos I believe bb is in a nice place now despite everything. To everyone else as well, find a way that works for you. You don't have to justify to anyone why it works for u. As long as it works.
Hi there, my scarring in uterus is also called Asherman syndrome. The development of scarring after d&c is rare but somehow i got it. My new gynae is Dr SF Loh at Thomson medical. (He is the IVF medical director of KKH before Dr Tan HH) He advised to remove as the scarring makes implantation difficult and even if I conceived, the baby may risk with cut limbs or lost ears as the scarring is sharp as baby may knock against the sharp scar inside. He specialise in both fertility & high risk pregnancies.
shiningstars
Active Member
I think it depends on the hosp and gynae? Cos i did d&c but i took the medicine orally.
I took oral medicine the night before and was advised no food thereafter. My d&c was performed the next morning. I also asked my Gynae if there's any test can be done to find out what's wrong with bb. But I didn't confirm with my gynae that I would like the test done so he didn't send for test. So if you really want to test have to inform your gynae first hand. I believe there will be charges incurred..
I asked . The chromosome abnormal test cost ard 500+. The D&C cost ard $3600+.
Baby gone, money also gone. I decided to send for the Lab testing, i wanted to have a closure for my baby. The root cause.
I started on the day of D&C.
shiningstars
Active Member
Just do it if u need proper closure. I regretted not doing the testing cos my gynae says there is no need to since it is my first mc. So now i will never know the root cause. Can the testing tell u the gender of the baby as well?
shiningstars
Active Member
I started on the next day cos by the time i was discharged it was late evening already. Tcm and western med must be taken 2 hours apart. But i only see tcm after I stopped bleeding. Cos i think during the bleeding they usually dont tiao the body?
I start next day after d&c. The night i did d&c i took chicken rice. Was late afternoon when i discharge. Super hungry cause i fast from midnight. Request for a scan b4 d&c to double confirm. So end up ding dong ding dong only went day surgery appx 11++
Mil say chicken rice ok if i need take outside food.
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Hi all, appreciate your feedback on the procedure. If not due to u gals, I also don't know who to turn to.
Hi shiningstar,
I don't think this tissue testing will know the gender. Though I miscarriage this time round, I believe is due to luck. My gynea didn't actually encourage me to go for lab testing, but I want. I wanted to know is it because of My health issue causing my baby cannot come to this world in this life or my baby was smart to know upfront that he/she was unhealthy and choose to end his/her own development w/o dragging me any further. This testing is the only way for my baby to communicate with me to let me know the truth.
Money I don't have alot, but if money can find out the truth/root cause, I will not save this money up. I can earn back as long as I m alive.
I don't mean the TCM medicine. I mean can I drink those DOM, Martel and those Chinese tonic immediate aft D&C. I afraid it will mess up my dirty bleeding. Then my internal will not clean up completely clean and remaining tissue struck inside.
shiningstars
Active Member
Hmm. Those I not very sure then. Cos i didnt take those. I only ordered confinement tingkat and drink red date longan tea.
Hi happy001,
I took DOM diluted with some warm water on alternate days after about a week. I usually take before bedtime to keep my body warm. But inly consume half bottle of DOM which was leftover. If you find it too heaty can take on alternate 2 to 3 days. See how your body react.
Hi all,
I still v blur now. My mum ask me to drink Du-zhong essence (1 in the day time, 1 at night), put Dang Shen into the red dates ginger tea and drink everyday. Drink 1 cup of DOM every night. All these start immediate straight after the D&C that day.
All these is Chinese pui tonic . I really hv concern if really can consume straight after D&C or not.
But my mum le, can don't trust her meh .
Need u gals advise on the above .
I still v blur now. My mum ask me to drink Du-zhong essence (1 in the day time, 1 at night), put Dang Shen into the red dates ginger tea and drink everyday. Drink 1 cup of DOM every night. All these start immediate straight after the D&C that day.
All these is Chinese pui tonic . I really hv concern if really can consume straight after D&C or not.
But my mum le, can don't trust her meh .
Need u gals advise on the above .
Hi happy001, here's my 2 cents worth. Usually the first week, you are still bleeding so it's best not to drink dom as it may increase the bleeding. It's ok to start drinking the red dates tea immediately. Usually even for the pre packed tonic soup... the bu stuff will kick in on the 2nd week coz the first week is to expel the " wind and water"
I did drink all those including bazhen soup after d&c. I started from day 2 or 3.
shiningstars
Active Member
I ordered from natal essentials. The food is not bad big portions. Can share with your hubbs sometimes. 2nd week onwards menu can be repetitive. They do have 7 days tingkat.
I did 2 weeks confinement. U can ask ur doc to extend the HL?
I ordered Richfood catering. They serve cod fish and salmon which I like very much. Soup is also good but a little savoury. They also provided thermal bag to keep the food warm. I opted for brown rice and the serving is enough for 2. Red dates and longan drink they provide every meal is very rich.
After I complete the package I ordered their tingkat dinner. But can't expect same ingredient because of the price difference.
Try to ask your gynae to give 2 weeks HL.
I ordered from natal essentials, lunch and dinner, for 7 days. Will start on thu. But the problem is they don't do delivery on ph (which is the coming Friday). I have to find ways to settle my meals on my own.
I think I don't wanna extend my HL, cos staying at home makes me feel v miserable, mayb gg back to work will makes me busy and passed time more fast. Anyway I hv been On 3 mths HL since I pregnant. No more HL Liao.
I was wondering , we cannot touch water after D&C, but definitely we need to wash face, hand and brush teeth every day right N don't need wash meh after doing big business ... Sure we will touch water.
shiningstars
Active Member
I think most of the caterer dont deliver on ph. I just eat normal food on the days they dont deliver. I am not sure about you but I am not ok to go back work so soon. I just wanna be alone at that pt of time.
On touching water i didnt care. It is impossible. All i did during the 2 weeks is eat confinement tingkat and drink red date longan tea. I still drink normal plain water though. And try not to blow the fan at me directly. But cos of the food i feel very hot so it is hard not to blow the fan haha.
shiningstars
Active Member
I think ppl usually drink red date longan tea after d&c.
There are no hard and fast rules on the dos and donts after d&c or mc. Some treat it strictly like doing a real confinement. Some dont even do any confinement. Some just do the minimal. For myself, i only ordered 2 weeks confinement tingkat. On ph, i just eat normal food. I brewed red date longan tea on top of what is provided with the tingkat but i also drink plain water. Try not to blow fan or on aircon but sometimes it is really hard.
On gg out, i think it depends more on your emotional and physical health. I hate gg out at that point of time. Cos i just wanna hibernate at home. I dont want to go out and see babies toddlers prams preggies etc. If you feel ok i dont see why you cant go out. But bear in mind that you are on mc. So not very nice if u bumped into ur colleagues.
There are no hard and fast rules on the dos and donts after d&c or mc. Some treat it strictly like doing a real confinement. Some dont even do any confinement. Some just do the minimal. For myself, i only ordered 2 weeks confinement tingkat. On ph, i just eat normal food. I brewed red date longan tea on top of what is provided with the tingkat but i also drink plain water. Try not to blow fan or on aircon but sometimes it is really hard.
On gg out, i think it depends more on your emotional and physical health. I hate gg out at that point of time. Cos i just wanna hibernate at home. I dont want to go out and see babies toddlers prams preggies etc. If you feel ok i dont see why you cant go out. But bear in mind that you are on mc. So not very nice if u bumped into ur colleagues.
My gync gave me 2 weeks HL. But you can consider clear annual leave if you're not ready for work
I didn't went out for 2 weeks. My colleague say i super kwai they thought i will sneak out. But really dont blow fan is so tough. I tried no fan but when too warm i hid in aircon room. Especially warm after bathing with herb and drying hair dry. Staying home with you not suffering bah.
My gynea given me 2 weeks HL, but making me staying at home will only makes me think anyhow and more miserable though my boss asked me to rest n take care of my health first. The image of the D&C still v clear in my mind. I will nv forgot this. I will c how, if I can make it, I will rest for this week and get myself back to work next week. Time is so slow at home.
And my bleeding stopped on my first day of D&C (2nd half day), my op is v early in the morning ytd, ard 10am, first half day after the procedure, bleed quite alot, then it stop bleeding after I start drinking red dates with Dang shen, is it normal?
My next review with my gynae will only b 3 weeks later, as together review the chromosome test result which I requested to send for testing. She oso didn not ask me to come back for blood test again after the D&C. Abit odd.
My next review with my gynae will only b 3 weeks later, as together review the chromosome test result which I requested to send for testing. She oso didn not ask me to come back for blood test again after the D&C. Abit odd.
shiningstars
Active Member
Rest well Happy001. I dont think you can ever forget about the d&c. It has been 4 mths for me but the very day they took my baby out from me is still so fresh in my head. Heal at your own pace. Diff ppl have diff healing process so there is no one size fits all. Just do whatever that makes you happy.
For me, the bleeding was minimal. There was also on and off spotting. But everything stopped within 2 weeks. That is becos for d&c they cleaned us up so there shouldnt be massive bleeding.
I didnt do blood test as well. Review was 2 weeks after d&c. Just did a tummy scan. All good and got another week of HL. Menses come 6 weeks after d&c. It will take awhile for our hcg to be zero. Once it is zero, our system will auto reset. Ovulation may or may not occur and then our lining will shed and menses will begin.
For me, the bleeding was minimal. There was also on and off spotting. But everything stopped within 2 weeks. That is becos for d&c they cleaned us up so there shouldnt be massive bleeding.
I didnt do blood test as well. Review was 2 weeks after d&c. Just did a tummy scan. All good and got another week of HL. Menses come 6 weeks after d&c. It will take awhile for our hcg to be zero. Once it is zero, our system will auto reset. Ovulation may or may not occur and then our lining will shed and menses will begin.
Hi shining star,
Now then I knew Is not easy gg thru the D&C, though is a half an hour job. The emotional portion.... I cried in the operation threate before the procedure when they wanna GA me. The doc tell me don't be so sad, try again, now proven u can be pregnant just the luck is not with u, just let her take out the baby, free the baby and free urself then she put me to sleep alrdy. And when they woke me up after the procedure, the first question I asked them is, is my baby gone ? And I cried again.
Doc said she did scanned the tummy for me during the operation after the procedure, the linning gone back to the thin. And she will confirmed again after 3 weeks and at the same time go thru the chromosome report with me.
I don't really feel like working now nor did I feel like trying again. Cos this feeling is really v no good...really v bad...
shiningstars
Active Member
it's normal dear. I cried before and after the procedure too. I cried every single day for the next 2 weeks too. for me, crying is a release of my emotions. i always feel slightly better after that. my gynae also tell me the same thing. she said at least I can conceive naturally. there are alot of ppl who wants to conceive but can't. but this doesn't comfort me at all. to me, so what if I can conceive naturally but I can't keep the baby? what is the point then? it is not about trying again. it is about this loss. it is about the baby i lost.
it will take awhile. it may seem like it's impossible to move on now. but you will. i have been there done that. although the pain is still there, but i am feeling alot better than how I feel when i just did the d&c. cry if you need to. let go of your emotions if you need to. till today, whenever i think about my baby, i still tear. i will always wonder how will it be like if i didnt lose my baby. and i know this feeling will follow me for the rest of my life.
Hi all, can I check if you all did any service or get something to remember the baby? I felt like getting a birth stone to remember my baby but I am worried it makes me reminded of the grief and cannot move on.. yet I felt sorry if i didn't do anything for the child.. I felt I could have done so much more for the baby but not given a chance to protect it.. is it better to move on and let the baby live in my heart and memories forever? I know this can be quite personal for everyone..
