Same sigh and now i dont believe what they say about being super fertile after mc
I have alr passed 3 cycles... today day 1 again and hopes dashed...
Does anyone know if there's a normal time period to get preggie again after a mc?
Support group - Miscarriages
- Thread starter linda
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Same sigh and now i dont believe what they say about being super fertile after mc
I have alr passed 3 cycles... today day 1 again and hopes dashed...
Does anyone know if there's a normal time period to get preggie again after a mc?
Sian right.... CD41 and I'm still waiting for O to happen. Actually my tcm says to wait 3 cycles before trying Gynae says can try whenever I'm ready...
greenleaff2017
Member
Thanks for sharing.
Jia you!
I went to the IVF doc today. He did a scan, seems that my uterus has cleared out after the natural m/c last Monday. Other than the super heavy bleed on Monday, my bleeding was like a light period and lasted 7 days. Now doc says, wait for one complete cycle before trying again. And he won't say anything about putting two embryos in this time. But I am feeling xian about the entire process. Think I will wait two cycles to clear out all those IVF drugs from my system.
My tcm said wait two cycles but i still tried nonetheless was desperate sigh.. i also suspect i might not have ovulated in my first two cycles
Today just feel very sian and a bit depressed... avoiding all preggie colleagues
I confirm no O for this cycle le.. saw some reddish patch when I went to the loo just now. Nevertheless glad that it's over! Start of new cycle!
We are all normal right sigh sometimes i really worry if sth's wrong with me
I only know a friend who managed to conceive on her edd which prob means the 6th cycle
Ya we all jiayou in the coming cycle! Hope work's not gg to be too stressful for hubby n me
greenleaff2017
Member
Definitely empathise with you. I avoid all pregnant women, babies, small children, young teenagers. Just don't want to be reminded. Its particularly xian when going to the clinic, there are soooo many pregnant women and babies.
The worst was when a friend whom i grew up with and considered very close, she said that I can't blame the embryo. Its like saying - blame me loh, its my inadequacy. Its my fault that the embryo has gone... She has two children easily and obviously never suffered a m/c before. So insensitive. I got really angry.
Sometimes wish I could be in a little bubble where all are adults and there are zero children around. Weekends are particularly bad nowadays since that's when all the happy perfect family units go around.
Hugs. Some people are just so insensitive and inconsiderate, ignore those nasty comments.
I was told by tcm not our fault probably the embryo chromosome has problem that why mc.
I actually carry my 5 year niece before i had spotting and eventually mc but we didn't want dig too much about it.
Don't want endup blaming ourselves, and have all the negativity.
People with kids are such a blessing. Should be happy for them. I try not to be a green eye monster and give them the blessing. My friend recently took fertile aid for a month and her wife got pregnant naturally even before Q for ivf. His sperm morphology is less than 1% perfect shape, sperm court so-so. Miracle does happens. Lets pray for the best. Jia you ladies
Shld be happy but difficult to be... so i just try avoid them subtlely esp on certain days when i already don't feel happy
Actually i did somw housework before i spotted too but for my case the bb already died a while ago so the 'exercise' i did helped me to discover the loss and quickly take measures to expel the bb else would have delayed by another week
Actually i did somw housework before i spotted too but for my case the bb already died a while ago so the 'exercise' i did helped me to discover the loss and quickly take measures to expel the bb else would have delayed by another week
blissfullife
Member
It's hard where every1 ard u suddenly is pregnant..and u aren't..it's not that I am not happy for them..I am..but jz wished I was pregnant along wld them..
Was having a talk wid a new Friend, who had struggled to conceive..and now she is finally pregnant..which is gg smoothly..feel like it's better not to conceive when it's not gonna stay rather than conceive, only to have it go away
However let's all stay positive..and all the best for those who have started trying..am gonna be taking 2-3 cycles break
Was having a talk wid a new Friend, who had struggled to conceive..and now she is finally pregnant..which is gg smoothly..feel like it's better not to conceive when it's not gonna stay rather than conceive, only to have it go away
However let's all stay positive..and all the best for those who have started trying..am gonna be taking 2-3 cycles break
shiningstars
Active Member
Yeah it seems like everyone around me are preggie and i am not. It also seems like everyone around me had a smooth pregnancy and i am the only one who suffered a mc. Even my colleague who had a mc around the same time as i did is alr preggie now and past the first trim. What is making things worst is my sil is popping in a few weeks. I really duno how to deal with that.
I have been trying for 2 cycles and still havent hit the jackpot. Have been spending $ on tcm, conceive well etc and thinking of getting the tian yuan xiang chix essence also.
Sometimes i really feel like giving up.
I have been trying for 2 cycles and still havent hit the jackpot. Have been spending $ on tcm, conceive well etc and thinking of getting the tian yuan xiang chix essence also.
Sometimes i really feel like giving up.
greenleaff2017
Member
It's hard where every1 ard u suddenly is pregnant..and u aren't..it's not that I am not happy for them..I am..but jz wished I was pregnant along wld them..
Was having a talk wid a new Friend, who had struggled to conceive..and now she is finally pregnant..which is gg smoothly..feel like it's better not to conceive when it's not gonna stay rather than conceive, only to have it go away
However let's all stay positive..and all the best for those who have started trying..am gonna be taking 2-3 cycles break
Completely feel the same way - that if the embryo was not meant to grow to be a live birth, it would have been better to not get pregnant in the first place.
In IVF, after making the embryo in the lab, the doc will transfer into the uterus. But not all embryos successfully implant. This is the dreaded two week wait where the ladies are kept wondering am I pregnant am I not pregnant...... thus I was so happy when my embryo implanted and BFP.... then so sad when it left. I think it would have been better if it BFN then it would save all this heartache. And the $$$ gg to the doctor to check, scan, blood test, injections, pills.... all for nothing.... everytime I go to the clinic is $ for consultation + $ for scan + $ for blood test ... all for nothing and now its gone.
To add to the annoyance, yesterday I went to the IVF clinic for checkup after the m/c. Already told them last week about the natural m/c and I'm very sure its gone coz the bleeding is so heavy. They did a HCG blood test yesterday, the result is 300+ which is to be expected. HCG should drop after m/c (my last HCG reading before m/c was 10000+) Then clinic said, oh its still too high, can u come in again on 20-something August to test the HCG. I told them what for. Gone is gone. Test for what. Waste my money and time. This is the typical bill everytime kenna summon to the clinic:
- HCG test S$55
- Scan S$80
- Meet the doctor for 10min S$100
- and all the travelling time to & fro, and waiting for audience with the doc.
Complete waste of money, time, mental effort, and tears. All the way from the beginning to now. Ugh.
And today, I got to attend a family gathering where there will be 3 young children from my relatives running around. Damn.
shiningstars
Active Member
Hugs. I think one of the toughest part is having to go back to the clinic for follow up after mc. Everyone around me are preggies with their bumps. The joy on their faces. Whereas I just lost the baby. I think i almost died from sadness.
For me i became very anti social after the mc. I skipped all kids birthday parties, baby showers. I avoid all preggies. I dont turn up for family gathering where i know there will be alot of kids.
For me i became very anti social after the mc. I skipped all kids birthday parties, baby showers. I avoid all preggies. I dont turn up for family gathering where i know there will be alot of kids.
blissfullife
Member
Reclled my recent MC..after the scan, I knew it was gone..but I still had to wait for the gynae..all I wanted to do was cry my heart out but I didn't wanted to make a fool of myself..cuz there was so many ple at clinic in Kkh..but that didn't stop the tears from raining down..I swear I nearly killed myself inside trying to hold back my tears..
Can totally under how u feel. My hubby can still play games beside me. I was too upset to tell him off. But we need get over it and stay strong.
I taking beijing tong ren tang bai feng wan plus ztp chicken essence. Both hock hua and ztp chicken essence are on national day promotion of $8.90 per box. Super good deal. Gonna stock up more. So cheap can drink regulary.
Find the tang yun xiang chicken super overpriced. Dunno really will help ttc anot. I ask tcm no direct reply only say increase energy level.
In the beginning the pain from the loss is too magnifying that I will avoid looking at parent with toddler and baby especially in the clinic and on train.. but now I just feel happy for them as they are blessed with kids.. I guess sharing our feelings here and talking to friends and people who cared really help to lighten the pain.. we have to be strong and move on.. Now, I'm taking TCM to condition my body... although I'm anxious TTC again, but I think a short break will be good for both emotion and relationship with hubby.
greenleaff2017
Member
Yup, glad that I'm able to talk out the feelings here ... m/c is a very lonely journey...
The husband doesn't feel deeply about the m/c. I guess he never saw it and didn't carry it so he doesn't feel it. Yup he is playing video games right now.
The friends either don't really understand coz they never experienced m/c before, or worse still are very insensitive
Cannot talk about it at work obviously
The mother is crazy and suggested that I try again immediately. Told her that I'm not a baby making machine and that shut her up.
The in-laws are unaware since I never told them. Come to think of it, good thing I never told them
The IVF doctor sees m/c as a statistical occurrence, and technical issue about the embryo health which causes the woman's body to purge it.
So what do I do?
Wake up, get up, put on make up, go to work and pretend nothing happened. Manage to behave normally at work. On the way back, can't help but see pregnant women, children, feel sad. Come back home, cry a bit, wash face. Surf motherhood /pregnancy/m/c websites. Cry a bit, mop up tears. Go to sleep. Wake up and repeat.
I know that someday the tears will lessen and may completely stop. But today is not the day.
Until then, got to stay strong and carry on with life. There is no alternative. We must carry on fighting.
The husband doesn't feel deeply about the m/c. I guess he never saw it and didn't carry it so he doesn't feel it. Yup he is playing video games right now.
The friends either don't really understand coz they never experienced m/c before, or worse still are very insensitive
Cannot talk about it at work obviously
The mother is crazy and suggested that I try again immediately. Told her that I'm not a baby making machine and that shut her up.
The in-laws are unaware since I never told them. Come to think of it, good thing I never told them
The IVF doctor sees m/c as a statistical occurrence, and technical issue about the embryo health which causes the woman's body to purge it.
So what do I do?
Wake up, get up, put on make up, go to work and pretend nothing happened. Manage to behave normally at work. On the way back, can't help but see pregnant women, children, feel sad. Come back home, cry a bit, wash face. Surf motherhood /pregnancy/m/c websites. Cry a bit, mop up tears. Go to sleep. Wake up and repeat.
I know that someday the tears will lessen and may completely stop. But today is not the day.
Until then, got to stay strong and carry on with life. There is no alternative. We must carry on fighting.
shiningstars
Active Member
I duno when i can recover completely. Maybe until i carry my rainbow baby in my arms. It has been 3 months and counting since i lost my baby. On good days i feel alright. On bad days it gets so bad that i will break down and cry really hard.
I dont share much with friends cos they have never went through what i did. The rare few that went thru what i did seemed to have moved on. One with 2 kiddos and another one on the way. Another has passed first trim already.
And i dont get much family support either. My in laws are the most insensitive people on earth and they hurt me most throughout this episode. Sigh.
I have been trying for 2 cycles and i am getting really tired. Sometimes i really wonder if i am not fated to be a mother. Maybe i should just forget abt this ttc journey and be the happy person i used to be.
I guess life has been too smooth sailing for me that i couldnt take this shitty setback.
I dont share much with friends cos they have never went through what i did. The rare few that went thru what i did seemed to have moved on. One with 2 kiddos and another one on the way. Another has passed first trim already.
And i dont get much family support either. My in laws are the most insensitive people on earth and they hurt me most throughout this episode. Sigh.
I have been trying for 2 cycles and i am getting really tired. Sometimes i really wonder if i am not fated to be a mother. Maybe i should just forget abt this ttc journey and be the happy person i used to be.
I guess life has been too smooth sailing for me that i couldnt take this shitty setback.
blissfullife
Member
Do u Take other vitamins and etc as well..?? Same to drink this when u get pregnant as well..??
blissfullife
Member
*hugs..cry if u have to..cuz u will feel better..and encourage yourself to be stronger..u know u are worth all the happiness..keep yourself happy and 1 day the happiness u want, will come to u..when we are happy, our body and mind is..and then god will be too..stay strong dear
shiningstars
Active Member
But the regular chicken essence also dont do much on conceiving right?
I am not sure how gd the tian yuan xiang one is. But i read that ppl did really get preggie after consuming that. So just giving it a try. Hopefully it can do me some good.
I am not sure how gd the tian yuan xiang one is. But i read that ppl did really get preggie after consuming that. So just giving it a try. Hopefully it can do me some good.
blissfullife
Member
Loadsa love your way..don't give up..ttc can be so tiring eso when u keep testing, only to ended wld a negative..but no pain, no gain..keep trying..don't give up..u are and u will be fated to be a Mother and ur rainbow baby will be so worth it..
Agree how everything else in life had been nothing but a bliss...didn't realise how things can always go worse when u though nothing cld go more wrong...maybe we are being taught to be more appreciative for everything else in life..
There are ple here in this grp that had MC 6-7 times in a row..i dunno if I can go through that much but they surely have given me strength to keep trying..so plz stay positive and happy..
shiningstars
Active Member
Loadsa love your way..don't give up..ttc can be so tiring eso when u keep testing, only to ended wld a negative..but no pain, no gain..keep trying..don't give up..u are and u will be fated to be a Mother and ur rainbow baby will be so worth it..
Agree how everything else in life had been nothing but a bliss...didn't realise how things can always go worse when u though nothing cld go more wrong...maybe we are being taught to be more appreciative for everything else in life..
There are ple here in this grp that had MC 6-7 times in a row..i dunno if I can go through that much but they surely have given me strength to keep trying..so plz stay positive and happy..
Thanks dear. I am just so caught up in this ttc cycle that i duno what else to be happy about with my life right now. I didnt count dates nor see tcm nor take any supplements for the pregnancy that i lost. But this time round i am so occupied with counting the dates seeing tcm and thinking about what else i can do to increase my chance of conceiving.
The mc still haunt me at times. I just cant seem to forget about the entire episode.
Regular chinese essence can be drink during pregnancy.
Many of the ladies who bfp via ivf recommend regular chicken essence with cordyeceps.
I also taking some other supplement from iherb & royal jelly
https://sg.iherb.com/pr/Nature-Made-Prenatal-Multi-DHA-90-Softgels/40458?rcode=HAR2151
https://sg.iherb.com/pr/Doctor-s-Be...ne-200-mg-180-Veggie-Caps/54865?rcode=HAR2151
https://sg.iherb.com/pr/Fairhaven-H...omen-and-Men-120-Capsules/62649?rcode=HAR2151
And daily red dates drinks on mon - fri. And cook bazhen soup (get herbal packet from ztp)
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Improve energy lor that why tcm told me. I didn't mention brand, i just ask my fertility tcm will chicken essence helps in ttc, she just erm... improve energy. They why i didn't invest in tian yuan xiang one. I only saw a few review online and they are mostly advertorial, i didnt have any friends or friends of friend of drinking it pregnant. Do you have friends who drink it and got pregnant?
Hugs. I rest for 3 months after mc b4 trying again recently.
Stay happy and positive. Don't be too depress. Jia you
Mens are more emotionally strong, usually dont show out.
Don't cry too much. Stay strong babe. Jia you.
I watch drama the first 1-2 month after mc to kill times and focus on something else.
http://m.todayonline.com/daily-focu...n-breakthrough-cut-miscarriages-birth-defects
This article caught my eye today but I'm not sure if this report is accurate.. just for sharing..
This article caught my eye today but I'm not sure if this report is accurate.. just for sharing..
greenleaff2017
Member
Natural source of Vit B3/ Niacin - Chicken, Mushrooms.
Eat Ipoh Hor Fun.... hahahhaha
Anyway, thanks to all the ladies to lending a listening ear to my woes. Glad to have some company in cyberspace
Eat Ipoh Hor Fun.... hahahhaha
Anyway, thanks to all the ladies to lending a listening ear to my woes. Glad to have some company in cyberspace
greenleaff2017
Member
Why do I feel so miserable about m/c .... suspect its the feeling of inadequacy especially when comparing with other women who seem to have it all. Constant reminders of my Failure to Reproduce.
So this is my coping strategy. I will live in Bubble until I'm strong enough.
Deal with Irritation #1
Whatsapp bomb with seemingly ten thousand photos of my nieces and nephews sent by their proud parents in the family thread. Multi-megabyte video files of them on swings, running along some bridge..... I'm not close to them so I just got irritated and..... "CLEAR CHAT". Presto! no more photos!
Deal with Irritation #2
Facebook and for those acquaintances, family, friends. You know, there are some people who just can't stop boasting about how cute their children are, how smart their children are..... oh look my child is eating. Oh look my child is walking....Oh look my child can play the piano. Oh look my child is so glorious.... Oh look my beautiful family unit of Father + Mother + Child+ Child + Child. (Yes, 3 children) So I click on that little arrow and "HIDE POST - SEE FEWER POSTS LIKE THIS". After doing it a few times, my facebook feed is mostly left with news articles. Good.
Yesterday at the family gathering there were 4 young children running around. 4 sets of Mother+Father+Child. I am the only one with no child. Thankfully nobody asked irritating questions. Anyway I left early.
So this is my coping strategy. I will live in Bubble until I'm strong enough.
Deal with Irritation #1
Whatsapp bomb with seemingly ten thousand photos of my nieces and nephews sent by their proud parents in the family thread. Multi-megabyte video files of them on swings, running along some bridge..... I'm not close to them so I just got irritated and..... "CLEAR CHAT". Presto! no more photos!
Deal with Irritation #2
Facebook and for those acquaintances, family, friends. You know, there are some people who just can't stop boasting about how cute their children are, how smart their children are..... oh look my child is eating. Oh look my child is walking....Oh look my child can play the piano. Oh look my child is so glorious.... Oh look my beautiful family unit of Father + Mother + Child+ Child + Child. (Yes, 3 children) So I click on that little arrow and "HIDE POST - SEE FEWER POSTS LIKE THIS". After doing it a few times, my facebook feed is mostly left with news articles. Good.
Yesterday at the family gathering there were 4 young children running around. 4 sets of Mother+Father+Child. I am the only one with no child. Thankfully nobody asked irritating questions. Anyway I left early.
Take it easy. Times helps to heal but you must learnt to let go. 95% of my close buddies and colleagues have kids too. I had 2 nieces but not very close but we still pamper them. They will sit on my lap to choose frozen items when they go my inlaw place on sat. Can consider for a short trip or holiday to recharge.
shiningstars
Active Member
No leh. My friends all have no problem conceiving or sustaining a pregnancy. So looks like i am the only one with problem. Sigh. Hence i also dont say so much of such things to them.
shiningstars
Active Member
I feel you. I am not bothered by those posts cos i find that i cant blame them for posting such things since they duno what happen to me anyway. But i feel super annoyed and irritated when my sil or bil do that. Cos they obviously knew i havent get over the mc. But yet they post pics with idiot captions like happiness coming their way, waiting for her arrival, a baby is a gift from god and gg on and on about how blissful they are. I feel that it is so uncalled for. Esp when they knew how affected i am. It is like telling me i dont have happiness. God doesnt want to give me my baby etc. And they will never understand that there are a ton of us who went thru mc and another ton of ppl who have prob conceiving. Cos theirs was a shotgun.
shiningstars
Active Member
You are really very nice. I simply cant do it. I avoid all fam and friends gathering. Cos i just couldnt bear to deal with all the kids. And i am very scared that ppl will ask me the dreaded qns.
So far no one ask me dreaded qns. My sil nicer to me after she gets to knows about my mc. She even cried when she accompany us to see shifu for prayers. But she went thru the same pain before and lost hers at 6mths so she empatise with me and very understanding. We saw her very depress then, she avoided us for few months when she lost hers
Wish upon a STAR
New Member
It's my 5th month TTC since I miscarriage in Jan.. It is so depressing that my AF came today.. Baby hopes dash again.... My friends are all giving birth to their second baby and yet, I can't even have one. TTC journey can be so lonely and sad. I too feel so inadequate as a wife who cannot give my husband a child... and also failed as a daughter and daughter in law for not giving them a grandchild that they wish for!!! 暮色也会有七彩长虹吗？
Are your menses back to regular? I am three months past but i somehow feel my menses are not exactly back to normal yet .. at first i also thought would be easy since some say will be fertile after mc but doesnt seem the case for me..
U seeing any tcm?
Wish upon a STAR
New Member
Yup, my menses are back to normal. I'm seeing thomson medical TCM currently .
Dont take it so hard. Fate plays a part at times
Yep ladies, life goes on no matter how happy or sad we feel. I think time really makes things better. Knowing all my friends who started the ttc journey with me getting pregnant, or those pregnant the same time with me moving on with a healthy pregnancy reminds me of my misfortune, but I still need to learn to get over it. At least some of you got your menses regularly now. I had bled for 4-5 weeks for my first cycle after the miscarriage, gynae got to put me one progesterone pill to stop the bleed. So my body hasn't go back to the normal cycle at all. I guess I will take a long time to be back to the normal cycle or even to ovulate again. Just think about me then may be you feel better that you got your regular cycle ya!!! Jia you! Hope we can get out of this tunnel soon
Give a hope
Well-Known Member
I c liao more luang I guess. My menses from 1st month 4days to 2nd months 3days to current month 2days. Omg how la u tell me.
U also seeing thomson?
Sometimes i also dunno if the tcm is helping a not or is it hindering the recovery but should not be the case right?
My second cycle abt 14 days (light) only then third cycle 33 days (quite heavy) den 4th cycle 36 days (quite light).. doesnt seem normal yet too.. i rmb before the mc my menses had been quite predictable
Give a hope
Well-Known Member
Last time my menses ok ones leh. But aft seeing tcm my breast not sore n menses time don't really see the clot which tcm told me is good sign by the new sinseh cos the old one resigned went back China due to family issue. Then this new sinseh I had her medi heaty but she told me impossible den dry cough she prescribe me medi I cough more jialat so stopping aft 2 packet of medi eventually I heal back faster cos my hub also thinking stop the medi. Now I have the doubt whether to go back to c her again or go c other tcm...tell me la how la this type of menses normal meh? The sinseh can still say some b4 pregnant normal aft luang some opposite so telling me ard 3days is normal to her. I was like omg
Which tcm u seeing? Think maybe change another one?
For me, same thing, i dont feel my menses are like before the mc too.. but mine not so drastic.
I was heaty too got sore throat for a few weeks den the tcm changed my med it got better
