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Support group - Miscarriages

Discussion in 'Matters Of The Heart' started by linda, May 18, 2003.

  1. twinsy

    twinsy Member

    i feel you..i had a hetrotopic pregnancy (1 inside & 1 outside the F tube) long story short..in the end i had 1 to remove 1 tube as it was ruptured. that was my first pregnancy after trying for 2 years. i had to go thru a D&C AND a emergency surgery to remove the ruptured tube as it can be life threatening.

    i was lucky and i strike my first IVF. during the first 10 weeks was a nightmare too as i had spotting and i am at A&E every single week. i tot i was going to lose this beanie too and every week to the gynae just send my heartbeat going faster. as i lose my first due to no heartbeat at week 7. 1 week you hear the heartbeat and next week u dont hear it anymore.

    i think you have to relax and keep an open mind..stress wont do you any good. when you are ready (physically & mentally), you should try again. always talk to your beanie..ask beanie to stick to you. things will get better in 2nd tri and you will get to relax and enjoy the pregnancy.

    jiayou!
     


  2. hopeful_mum

    hopeful_mum Well-Known Member

    Hey I was under high risk with nuh. After 4 Mc I successfully delivered a baby. By taking aspirin, injections and even having steroids. She's 28mths now. They are very specialised. Have faith. I did seek 2nd opinion but still went back to them. Dr choolani is also one of the consultants there. U can even engage dr biswas. He's extremely good. Out of so many I decided to use dr Anita cox some better older and popular drs didn't give me the assurance I wanted. I was on subsidy and they treated me like any other pte patients. Only converted to pte on the day I deliver so I can get dr Anita to deliver for me :)

    After my 1st child I had 2 more mc trying for #2. Still to giving up hopes yet.
     
  3. Give a hope

    Give a hope Well-Known Member

    Sometimes I was thinking why like see people pregnant like very easy and smooth...for ours who have MC b4 especially recurrent MC really frighten us...really fingers crossed for miracle baby jiayou all
     
  4. dolly_gal

    dolly_gal Well-Known Member

    Yes ladies please do not give up. I know hopeful mum cos our number 1 are same edd, I knew how much jabs n visit she went thru w nuh dr n now our little ones are 28 Mths old.
    N her subsequent losses recently, I hope to see her having another successful one soonest w the help of nuh high risk dr.
    So ladies please please have faith in urself u will soon see ur rainbow bb like us..
     
  5. helioadele

    helioadele Member

    Hihi just browsing and come across to this thread, i ve been reading n comment in another recurrent MC thread.

    I had 3MC before with no HB n growth at early stages, seeing proff mahesh at nuh n give a sign to try again on my current test result giving by gynae there. I can do further more test if i want but He also said i can try again with current condition hence we are going to give a try.

    Just wanna ask is it alright for me to just drink dom/yumeishu every night as heard can help to warm the womb. Proff did give me some supplements to take plus aspirin too. Just wanna make sure that it is oke to mix the dom w my current supplement that im taking.
    Thx

    And please this year will be a good year for all of us who had lost our little angels there. Sticky baby dust to all of us
     
    finesse9702 and lady081980 like this.
  6. 2angels2016

    2angels2016 Member

    Hi helioadele,
    I am sorry for your losses. I had 2 recent mc too and it does get me down at random times.
    I do not take dom or yomeishu as I have endometriosis and the danggui in them is bad for this condition. If you have no underlying issues I think it should be fine.

    I do see a tcm for meds and acupuncture as I also struggle with infertility. I hope it helps w recurrent mc too.
     
  7. hopeful_mum

    hopeful_mum Well-Known Member

    i personally think it's alcohol afterall. so best to separate with the aspirin you are taking. i know the qty is not high, but if u are pregnant will u still be taking? Coz i know the alcohol content is not low too.

    in fact, my last successful pregnancy as i have to take predinosolone which is kind of steriods to keep the baby, i stopped taking all TCM. even tcm also scared, because they dont exactly know what are the chinese herbs chemicals that may potentially clash with the western meds.

    this is just my 2 cents worth.
     
  8. finesse9702

    finesse9702 Active Member

    Hi 2angels2016, I had 2 recent losses too, so I know how you feel. Praying and hoping that there is hope again for all of us here. Which TCM are u seeing? I used to see a general TCM, but I've just switched to a fertility one called Dr Zou, and another one called Dr Loh at Thong Chai.
     
  9. 2angels2016

    2angels2016 Member

    Hi finesse9702,
    Thanks and hope we will see the light at the end of the tunnel soon.
    I'm see Dr Zou at amk, is that the same one you are seeing? Actually I have been seeing her since 2011, and I believe that she and my gynae played a big part in me successfully having no 1. After that I stopped acupuncture and only took period meds. Ttc no 2 with no success for 1.5y till I restarted acu, but mc twice. I'm still sticking with her but did wonder if she is better in infertility than managing mc.
     
  10. finesse9702

    finesse9702 Active Member

    Yea that is the Dr Zou from AMK. I'm only seeing her for acupuncture actually, and I just started this week. The one I'm seeing at Thong Chai, Dr Loh Kim Gek, is much more detailed and she prescribes customised brewed herbs. I've heard that brewed herbs are more effective, so decided to give it a try. And since she customises her prescription, it's worth a try. If you're interested to know more, PM me? :)
     
  11. kk82

    kk82 Active Member

    Dang gui is bad for endo? Do you know if chicken essence with dang gui is ok?
     
  12. 2angels2016

    2angels2016 Member

    I avoid danggui except during confinement. It is supposed to bu xue, so if you have have cysts or endometrial implants elsewhere it will also help it to grow.
    I don't take the chicken essence with danggui, only take the one with red date and wolfberries. I think maybe take once in a while is ok, but I didn't want to take the risk.
     
    kk82 likes this.
  13. helioadele

    helioadele Member


    Hihi thx for the reply.
    Yes end up i did not take any chinese herb nor see the tcm. Will just stick to the western supp n medicine given by proff Mahesh as I heard He did not allowed mix on chinese med too cos if anything happened He wont know which one that make it bad. Pray hard for baby dust. I was given steroids too to be taken once i tested positive. I guess just believe on his professionalism n knowledge too. Hopefully with his advice n medicine i can really have a healthy rainbow bb soon.
     
    hopeful_mum likes this.
  14. hopeful_mum

    hopeful_mum Well-Known Member

    Yeah importantly I feel have trust with the professionals. I had 4 miscarriages before having child.
     
  15. xiao ma

    xiao ma New Member

    Fetus no heartbeat at 8 weeks. Should I wait for natural miscarriage or d&c?
     
  16. Panffy

    Panffy Member

    Hugs, so sorry to hear that... I suggest to ask doctor for misprostol, it is to be inserted vaginally to expel the sac naturally... dont take it orally even if doctor said ok cos I took mine orally for my second MC and it didnt work as well as my first and I had to go through D&C. There is a risk of Asherman's Syndrome for D&C whereby uterus lining might stick to each other and also scarring.... my period did not come for 2 months and I was worried sick for AS... dont wait for body to expel cos it may lead to infection... hugs, it is quite painful after inserting the meds so do take at least 2 days MC
     
  17. xiao ma

    xiao ma New Member

    Now waiting for natural miscarriage, but no any sign yet. Anyone know the way to speed up the process? Try to avoid d&c.
     
  18. xiao ma

    xiao ma New Member

    Any investigation test for ur mc?
     
  19. Panffy

    Panffy Member

    Didnt do any investigation for both of them... the first time cos we thought it was an accident and wasnt prepared... second one was cos we were to distraught by it... my doctor didnt suggest as well... are you planning to? Is this your first one?
     
  20. 2angels2016

    2angels2016 Member

    Sorry to know that.
    Was the doc very sure about it? If no heartbeat to begin with, may be advisable to wait and see. If there was and then it stopped its more definite.
    The reason why I said this is because my gynae prefers to wait till its beyond doubt so that there is no what ifs.

    I did d&c for both mc. 2nd one I was already bleeding but chose to do it for quick closure. Doc skill is impt.
    That being said.. after having 3 d&c, I will avoid it again due to asherman syndrome risk
     
  21. xiao ma

    xiao ma New Member

    1st mc no hb at 6 weeks, very soon bleeding and natural mc.
    2nd mc see hb at 6 weeks, stop at 8 weeks.
    Planning to see Nuh recurrent loss dr. Dunno any want hv go there? Any advise should I go for private or subsidies?
     
  22. hopeful_mum

    hopeful_mum Well-Known Member

    go subsidairy if you are not in a hurry. i was a sub patient. the cost is HUGE when u are pregnant. the scans, the medicines, the possible jabs.

    I was a pte patient after my delivery and the cost for my 5th and 6th mc are really high dr fees, scans, blood tests etc. etc. etc.

    But if u are in a hurry u can go pte, as in hurry see dr and get preggie.
     
  23. Rejj1110

    Rejj1110 New Member

    Dear All TTC ing,

    Please do not be despair for the miscarriage. Please try to tiao your body back before you are ready for the next one. My schoolmate had the same experience..ttcing for at least 5yrs, went thru ivf and finally got preg but had bleeding at 20weeks, stay in KKH for almost 1mth but still couldnt save the bb..
    Luckily she quickly tiao her body back with lots of supplements and after 3mths, she got pregnant easily. Now her girl is a happy and healthy 1yrs old baby.
    Please try to avoid cool food such as carrot cake (chai tow kueh), barley water and those collagendrinks.
     
    tearose likes this.
  24. 2angels2016

    2angels2016 Member

    If you don't mind waiting, going subsidised will be better. Private is really ex. I chose it only cos of my age, don't wanna wait so long as the risk of mc increases a lot after 35yo.

    Someone in the recurrent mc thread wrote that the subsidised clinic only runs once a month so you may wait a few months.

    In the meantime, take care of your health and do a mini confinement if you can. Its tough going through this, my thoughts are with you.
     
  25. finesse9702

    finesse9702 Active Member

    Hi Xiao Ma
    Just to give u a sense of cost, I recently went to see Dr Sheila Vasoo (private) for recurrent mc, and was put thru a battery of tests (8 tubes of blood), total cost is about $2500 and all in cash. And there are some things which I've not yet tested, like natural killer cells coz need to wait for menses before can do the tests. So, don't know how much more to pay for the second round of tests.
     
  26. hopeful_mum

    hopeful_mum Well-Known Member

    Yeah for sub I tested everything. Think in total less than 2k. Eventually if u need jabs etc it's much cheaper too. Like I need to take clexane. I rem per jab was like $2 for sub. Pte is abt $6+. Then u times 200 days or more. Plus a lot of other medications or proluton jabs and scan. Long run sub is really cheaper.

    Having said that their clinic opens only Mthly. Once u are pregnant and if u are high risk, they see u almost every 2 weeks during first tri. And the moment u spot u can go straight to clinic g for check up. Just call and someone will attend to u. Also u only see the grp of high risk drs. Which is why I got very attached to dr Anita. Cox I see her almost weekly or every 2 weeks. It's like paying as a sub patient but getting the Pte patient treatment. And the nurses are clinic g are super nice. Esp if they know ur history of miscarriages they really encourage u and treat u with care. I wrote them a card after my delivery. They were soonnice and caring. They accompanied the days of jabbing checking etc.
     
  27. balroggal

    balroggal Member

    Dear Ladies,

    I'm so sorry, really dun know who to talk to. I just had a D&C last Wed. Today is the 7th day. Suppose to be 11wk+ last week but baby not growing and no heartbeat. I am really sad, dun know what to do. Keep thinking what went wrong, what happen. I am already very careful in everything, but it just happen so sudden and I am totally not prepared. Yes, I have my husband and my 2 girls with me but I just cant accept. I really think of resignin from my work and dont do anything. But I can't! And my husband only say what can be done? Nothing, it is just prestined that we have 2 girls, and is enough.

    I had a miscarriage 4yrs back too, also same reason, baby not growing. And well, I thought my baby is back to us. But no, baby comes and leave us again!

    But really, what went wrong? I really would want to know. It is really breakin my heart, suppose to go for Oscar Test last week, in e end warded for D&C. We are all excited as the EDD will be about the same as my youngest girl, but now, no more. I really do not wish to think but is really difficult.

    I also do think of trying again, but i also feel very scare. Im really scare the same thing happen again. Also I do not want to try as I do not want e baby to be like a replacement/subsititude of what I had loss.

    I'm so sorry for the long msg and thanks for reading.
     
    piky likes this.
  28. hopeful_mum

    hopeful_mum Well-Known Member

    Hugs. Every life is precious I'm sure u are very upset about it. Do take some time to grieve over it. I wouldn't advise u to just quit ur job, because going back to work can sometimes help u move forward faster as it keeps u occupied. We are very fertile for the first 3-6 mths after a miscarriage. Once u are mentally ready, u can try again. For now dotake care of ur health. For ur own sake and for ur gals don't blame urself I'm sure u have taken good care. Sometimes things just happens without a reason.
     
  29. Give a hope

    Give a hope Well-Known Member

    Don't stress urself this is not what u want it to be. I know the feeling as my 2nd mc happened when beanie suppose to be week 11+ but the scan showing stop growing at week 9+ also end up with D&C.

    Perhaps u want to see expert to do a check b4 ttc again? Jiayou and thing will be better in time come. Quit a job to me not an good idea but I do know that the stress levels when u need face ur col.

    Think of ur hub and ur girls they still need u. Mbe have mini confinement and move on again. Jiayou jiayou
     
  30. baby_elsie

    baby_elsie New Member

    I just had my M/c over the weekend @7weeks. Just last Tuesday we saw baby's heartbeat. Very very happy and hoping baby grow healthily in my tummy till my EDD in nov. but just 3 days after seeing heartbeat, there is spotting and got worst the next day and finally a severe cramp on Sunday. My gynae did internal scan and told me she no longer see sac. Nothing in my uterus was sooooo sad that I kept crying and blaming myself. Having been in medical leave for a week and doing mini confinement. Still sad and missing my baby. Like their is a void somewhere in my heart.
    Actually hoping to conceive again (I am in my early 40s). Time is not at my side and I want to conceive naturally quickly but also fearful coz of my recent experience.

    After M/c, what will your gynae usually do? Will he/she arrange for follow up? If yes, what will they check?
     
  31. 2angels2016

    2angels2016 Member

    So sorry to hear this. Big hugs to you. It is difficult, allow yourself to grieve, talk to your hubby and always remember that your girls and him are there for you.

    After my 1st mc, I was really depressed without realising it, and except for 2 friends, everyone else pretended nothing happened. I was counting each month anniversary, wondering why she left us. But time will heal.. we heal, but we never forget. It will get better so give yourself time.
    Your hubby is your pillar of support, he may not seem as affected but they actually are.

    Go for a short holiday and take good care of your health.
     
  32. balroggal

    balroggal Member


    Yes tks. I'm mentally ready but really still scare same thing happen again. It's only past a week but i still can't get over it. Very emotional, think abit will cry. Next week goin back work, duno if I can handle my emotion or not. Sigh.
     
  33. balroggal

    balroggal Member


    Yes. Thanks. Seriously, my 1st MC, I took about 3 yrs to get over it. Same like u, I was counting every mth anniversary. Of course I hope my friend can pretend nothing had happen, coz I really scare i will cry in front of them, which now I still cant control my tears.

    Ya, my girls both are my pillar of support. This 1 week I dont really smile, but sometimes they really try to make me happy which i know, but I just cant smile or laugh now.
     
  34. balroggal

    balroggal Member



    Yes, will check with my gynae during the followup next week. Although we think 2 is enough, but having twice 'taking away' our 3rd and 4th is really a painful experience. I just finish my mini confinement yesterday.

    Today just came out of the house. Still have some giddy spell and mood is still not there. Still feeling very low on mood.
     
  35. Give a hope

    Give a hope Well-Known Member

    Ya it never a good experience says is always easy when it happens we just simply cannot accept it and down and very emotional. Give yourself some time more things will slowly back to normal.
     
    lynn1981 likes this.
  36. shiningstars

    shiningstars Active Member

    Anyone here? I am feeling so depressed that I feel that I need to rant it out somewhere.

    It is my 10th weeks based on my LMP. First visit to the gynae was 2 weeks ago. Thought I was at 8w but my sac only measured 6w. No foetal pole. I only did tummy scan. I went for my 2nd scan on Monday. My sac only grew 0.3cm and again no foetal pole. Did blood test on Mon and Wed. Hcg level dropped. Gynae concluded it was blighted ovum. I suggested to do v scan cos I was hoping for a miracle. But was rejected by the gynae. Went to seek second opinion. The gynae wanted me to do v scan to get a clearer pic. I finally saw my baby. But there was no hb. It measured 6w. I had no bleeding and had the usual symptons until recently.

    Feel that God has played such a big joke on me. I have been crying everyday since Monday. At this rate, I think I might fall into depression. Arranged for d&c next Thursday. I really don't want them to remove my baby...
     
  37. hopeful_mum

    hopeful_mum Well-Known Member

    Hugs. Just cry it out and grieve properly. Usually BO is a one off thing, women usually will have normal pregnancies after. My first Mc was also BO and also removed close to 10/11 weeks. Totally no bleeding etc. But has to remove if not may cause infection and then will affect chances of future pregnancies.

    If you are mentally ready, you will be very fertile during the first 3 mths after the Mc, can try again. If mentally not ready then rest and try after u are.
     
  38. shiningstars

    shiningstars Active Member

    Thanks. In the end mine wasn't blighted ovum cos I saw my baby. There was no hb. How did your d&c process go? I am very very scared. I have never undergo any ops before or being under ga. I kept telling my hubbs I wanna follow my baby to heaven. I cant bear to let go...

    And sorry for asking you to re-visit your mc process. You dont have to share if you cant ok?
     
  39. hopeful_mum

    hopeful_mum Well-Known Member

    It's okay I'm very chilI had 6 mcs in total. Just keep trying till I have a baby. I have high tolerance of pain to me it wasn't painful. But I bled for over 2 weeks after the procedure.
     
  40. Lovepuff

    Lovepuff Member

    Hi, i am diagnose by 2 gynae that i around 7/8 weeks. Seen only gestational sac but no yolk sac. Hence conclude as a miscarriage.

    1 gynae has prescribe 8 cyotetc pills (2x / day - orally) to induce miscarrriage naturally instead of doing D&C.

    I accepted the pills and started taking today 1030am. Within an hour, i can feel some light cramps and bleeding starts. It gets heavy and start to pass out quite abit of clots. Pad is soak within an hour.

    Now 530pm, having been passing out clots on and off. Also still having cramps and heavy bleeding.

    I would like to ask if it is normal to have heavy bleeding and clots and how long will this last? I am watching out on the bleeding incase i need to go A&E. worried.
     
  41. shiningstars

    shiningstars Active Member

    Hugs. You are very brave! This is my first mc. I feel like dying already. Just wanna leave with my unborn baby...
     
  42. shiningstars

    shiningstars Active Member

    Big hugs. I have not experienced natural mc. But what i heard from gynae is that you will bleed for quite awhile until you passed the sac. Do you want to give your gynae a call? U did tummy or v scan? When i did tummy scan, i could only see a sac. But when i did v scan, i saw the foetal pole...
     
  43. Lovepuff

    Lovepuff Member

    I called the clinic earlier in the morning, i was advised that it is normal to have heavy bleeding, pass out clot and feel squishy. I did both tummy and v scan. I did saw a fetal pole at 6 weeks. Then a scan at 7 weeks, cannot see anything. Waited for a week and also seek another gynae opinion to confirm.
     
  44. shiningstars

    shiningstars Active Member

    Then it sounds normal. Just dont move about too much. My gynae told me natural mc is very much like natural delivery. You will feel contractions and also alot of bleeding. I thought it might be too much for me to handle so I opted for d&c. But that is freaking me out also...
     
  45. Lovepuff

    Lovepuff Member

    I have been laying down or resting on the sofa. I didnt expect that heavy bleeding actually. i freaked out too. I hope that i made the right choice and recover soon. I still have to finish the course of medicine. Left 4 pills for tomorrow.
     
  46. shiningstars

    shiningstars Active Member

    Then it sounds normal. Just dont move about too much. My gynae told me natural mc is very much like natural delivery. You will feel contractions and also alot of bleeding. I thought it might be too much for me to handle so I opted for d&c. But that is freaking me out also...
    Don't worry. You will be fine. Just rest more. Remember to go back to the gynae for a check to make sure everything is clear. Will you be doing a confinement?
     
  47. Lovepuff

    Lovepuff Member


    Will be going back to gynae to check in a week time. I hope it is all worth it and fully clear.

    Have been bleeding so i need to bathe and clean myself. The cramps are quite strong. I will take warming drink like red dates/logan or 姜母茶 to warm the womb. Also will be going to tcm after m/c to tiao yang.

    It is so upsetting to go through this painful process.

    Thanks for taking time to reply me.
     
  48. 2angels2016

    2angels2016 Member

    Sorry that both of you are going through this.

    Shiningstars, d&c to me is much less scary than natural mc. It is over v fast. I did mine in the clinic so its via sedation instead of ga. One moment, the aesthesist was patting my arm comfortingly, and the next moment its all over and I was wondering why someone kept calling my name when I wanna sleep. I would say physically its painless other than slight cramps which panadol can easily settle, while the heartpain lingers for much longer.

    After the procedure, if you believe in confinement, I think its best to do it for a couple of weeks. I just took red date tea and catered confinement food. Actually the 1st time, I went home to shower immediately and somehow may have caught a cold. Felt cold for many months to come till 2nd mc. After 2nd mc i did not shower as often during confinement and felt it helped as I am less cold now.
     
  49. Lovepuff

    Lovepuff Member

    Thanks for sharing. I guess no harm to do a mini confinement for 2 weeks and to recover faster. I hope all will be over for me soon.
     
  50. shiningstars

    shiningstars Active Member

    Big hugs to you too. I have never undergo any procedure before so I am really scared. Other than the cramp, does it hurt below?

    I totall agree. It's the heartbreak. I have been crying everyday and kept asking why me. What have I done wrong? Did I not protect my baby? There is so much guilt... i just want my baby to be alive. Is it too much to ask for? I really duno what to do to make myself feel better.
     

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