Support group - Miscarriages

Kumorin said:
sorry to hear abt ur loss.. Think ur AF shld be here soon.. guess this is the only time we will be lookin forward to see AF!

Take care and we all jia you together
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Thanks kumorin. Dont know if i shld be looking forward to start tcc (trying to conceive), which is my next ivf cycle or shld i just recover completely.. The latter requires more time n my bioclock is ticking fast..my hub is not quite optimistic abt the next cycle, afraid of history repeating. This mc was alrdy v traumatic for both of us..
Deblues, i think AF means 'aunty flow" which means menses..not quite gd at the abbreviations used here, but roughly guess what it means.
It was my first pregancy too from my 2nd ivf cycle. 1st cycle was negative. So this time round we were v happy that we finally got a positive result. And were esp elated when we saw the first heartbeat at 6th week.. Sadly, was shortlived. During my scan at 9th week, the fetus was measured at 8th week size n hb had stopped.. Im 35 this yr, and to be able to conceive is not ez so we had to go thru the ivf journey.
Kumorin, and the rest of the ladies here, lets jia you!
 


deblues said:
Hi ladies
After trying hard for 3.5 years, I'm finally pregnant but just got diagnosed with a missed abortion yesterday. It's the darkest time of my life :(. I wonder how will we get preg again given I'm already 33 this year :(1

Per dr advice, we are waiting for natural MC to occur.

Any idea how long should we eat confinement food for and should we start only after the flow cleared? Thanks all ladies to advice I have no friends ard to advice me on this.
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Hi,
I'm also 33 this year. I also got pregnant after trying for sometime (1.5 years) but also lost my fetus heartbeat at 13 weeks. I had to deliver my dead fetus then go for procedure to cleanup my uterus. It was also the darkest days of my life. I had nobody to turn to. All my friends were having healthy babies like it was so easy. But after 3 months, I'm much better. Time will heal. I did mini confinement for 2 weeks. I started immediately after my D&E...

Doc just checked my uterus last week and he says can start trying after next period. So here we go again with TTC. I don't know if history will repeat itself, I don't know if I can go thru such shit a 2nd time...but we are trying if not we don't even have a chance at having kids ever.

Just take care of yourself and recover as best as u can now. Cry if u need. But trust me time will heal u slowly.
 
*group hugzzz*

I think the fear of history repeating itself again will always be there but like wat Lost Angel say if we dun try, we won't even have the chance ever.

Honeycombi I am the oldest among u gals, turning 36 soon. Trying naturally this cycle but if I fail again, I will have to embark on my ivf journey.

Hope we will all graduate from here to mummies thread soon!
 
hugs to everyone here. It's never easy. but time will always heal. time flies by. its post 6 mths now since my incident. i believe that at times its also God's will . But never give up hope. I try to be positive for my husband who is really hoping for a child . But i will like to share this with you guys -

I have a friend who is 37 . has irregular periods. few times a year. Was put on clomid by her dr. tried for a few cycles ...around 4. failed. was considering IUI. And the next moment she found out she was pregnant. delivering end of this mth. :)

And another close friend of mine. Who was diagnosed with SLE since young. very short cycles. was informed that her chances of conceiving is very low & high risk. She was lucky and blessed . Preg with a baby girl. No complications during pregnancy . Baby is 15mths old now.

And the other case . She previously suffered from Endometriosis. Had that removed. Did IVF for one cycle. Failed. Dr did other test and found a tube blocked. Had to do some surgical procedure. Post surgery she was suppose to rest for few cycles before starting 2nd IVF cycle. While waiting. She found herself pregnant naturally . baby delivered recently .

So what i could say is continue trying. the moment you stop trying. that's when all hope ends. So at the meantime. take your vitamins . eat healthier. exercise. and be positive.

Baby dust to all !!!!!!!
 
Thanks all the ladies here.... Up till now I still trying to come to terms with it. Somehow still have a little hope that some miracle will just happen in the next scan due 3 weeks later. But I guess we all have to look forward and be positive for our next one to come.

We will succeed babes
Let's not give up! Mega hugs to all babes
 
deblues said:
Any idea is Bak kut teh adversely affects? Now I'm wondering if it's the Bak kut teh I ate
Click to expand...

Hmm..I hope not. I had bak kut teh too during the initial weeks of preg, cos i thought its "warm" by nature. Not sure if they have dang gui in it. I also had a small pc of crab and herbal duck. I dont think all these consumption affect m/c.. I even thought if its also due to the essential oil i applied on my skin to ease my morning sickness.. Cos after that i read frm a preg book that its not advisable to apply the oil..

Anyway, deblues, dont blame urself for all these, its not ur fault.., i think its due to scientific/biological/medical reasons rather than food comsumption.
 
deblues said:
Thanks all the ladies here.... Up till now I still trying to come to terms with it. Somehow still have a little hope that some miracle will just happen in the next scan due 3 weeks later. But I guess we all have to look forward and be positive for our next one to come.

We will succeed babes
Let's not give up! Mega hugs to all babes
Click to expand...
I totally understand how u feel.. I was also pinning some hope that on the day of the scan, i'l be able to see the hb again.. Cos i dont even have any signs of m/c.. Throughout the preg there werent any spotting or cramp.. So i refused to accepted the fact that its gone just like that..
However, slowly i realised all the morning sickness began to disappear n i felt 'unpregnant"..
 
honeycombi said:
I totally understand how u feel.. I was also pinning some hope that on the day of the scan, i'l be able to see the hb again.. Cos i dont even have any signs of m/c.. Throughout the preg there werent any spotting or cramp.. So i refused to accepted the fact that its gone just like that..
However, slowly i realised all the morning sickness began to disappear n i felt 'unpregnant"..
Click to expand...

Yes dear same here. Suddenly all my symptoms just don't feel as strong as before anymore but my tummy kept growing sigh.

Still can't believe it's not growing when I don't have symptoms of mc too. Thanks honeycombi for ur kind words.... But now for sure I will avoid all herbal stuff for my first tri in the next preg just to be on the safe side
 
I'm just confirmed having a MC by the Gynea that the baby has stopped growing at wk6 and no heartbeat still. I'm supposed to be 8w now.
She gave me two options only. D&C or natural. I Thot there is a third option, which is to take some pills to force it out like an abortion kind. She says it's not practiced here. Is she trying to make money from D&C ? Any advise?
How much is D&C by private Gynea here? Pls adv. need to decide soon
 
shuqin said:
I'm just confirmed having a MC by the Gynea that the baby has stopped growing at wk6 and no heartbeat still. I'm supposed to be 8w now.
She gave me two options only. D&C or natural. I Thot there is a third option, which is to take some pills to force it out like an abortion kind. She says it's not practiced here. Is she trying to make money from D&C ? Any advise?
How much is D&C by private Gynea here? Pls adv. need to decide soon
Click to expand...

Sorry to hear abt ur loss.. my situation was quite similar to urs. I went for 2nd opinion and both docs (pte gynaes) gave me two options - d&c or natural. End up I opt for d&c cos we were concerned abt any complications and physically I can move on. I had it done at mt alvernia and it costs ard $3k plus.
 
Kumorin said:
Sorry to hear abt ur loss.. my situation was quite similar to urs. I went for 2nd opinion and both docs (pte gynaes) gave me two options - d&c or natural. End up I opt for d&c cos we were concerned abt any complications and physically I can move on. I had it done at mt alvernia and it costs ard $3k

Hi Kumorin, may I ask, after the D&C, what is your diet like? Did you go thru a mini confinement? I have no mothers or MIL to guide me on this.
Any advise from anyone?
We definitely wanna try again asap as I'm turning 44! Haiz....
Click to expand...
 
shuqin said:
I'm just confirmed having a MC by the Gynea that the baby has stopped growing at wk6 and no heartbeat still. I'm supposed to be 8w now.
She gave me two options only. D&C or natural. I Thot there is a third option, which is to take some pills to force it out like an abortion kind. She says it's not practiced here. Is she trying to make money from D&C ? Any advise?
How much is D&C by private Gynea here? Pls adv. need to decide soon
Click to expand...

Hi shuqin I was given 3 options DnC, natural or pills to force it out.

But I decide to wait for natural.
 
shuqin said:
I'm just confirmed having a MC by the Gynea that the baby has stopped growing at wk6 and no heartbeat still. I'm supposed to be 8w now.
She gave me two options only. D&C or natural. I Thot there is a third option, which is to take some pills to force it out like an abortion kind. She says it's not practiced here. Is she trying to make money from D&C ? Any advise?
How much is D&C by private Gynea here? Pls adv. need to decide soon
Click to expand...
Hi shuqin,
Sorry to hear abt ur loss.
Apart from d/c and natural methods, my gynae also suggested medication to induce. If i rem correctly, the drug is called cytotec. So far only nuh has such practice and kkh is starting to introduce this method too,.
Every method has its pros n cons. I chose natural method as i did not want to force it out since there weren't any symptoms. I left it to nature, if the fetus is ready to come out, it will come out.
 
Hi ladies

Today I went for scan and another doctor opinion.
He actually found the fetal pole and yolk sac which is different from the other 2 doctors before who found nothing.
but he say it's too small for the gestational week

The shape of my amniotic sac is very irregular. Any ladies encounter the same situation and does it mean that an mc is pending soon?

He say will scan again next week to be sure but so far my natural mc haven't arrive yet.

Thanks all for ur advises. Let's be strong together. Hugs
 
deblues said:
Hi ladies

Today I went for scan and another doctor opinion.
He actually found the fetal pole and yolk sac which is different from the other 2 doctors before who found nothing.
but he say it's too small for the gestational week

The shape of my amniotic sac is very irregular. Any ladies encounter the same situation and does it mean that an mc is pending soon?

He say will scan again next week to be sure but so far my natural mc haven't arrive yet.

Thanks all for ur advises. Let's be strong together. Hugs
Click to expand...
Deblues, cant really advise u on this as i didnt seek 2nd opinion.
However, i did have 3 scans by the same gynae as i was scheduled to see him regularly to see if i have started bleeding and if i want to be induced to flush it out if i decided not to wait..

. For the 3 scans, the sac was still there, could see the fetus, but the size remained the same n no hb.. So i continued to wait.. Took me abt 4 weeks plus before it started to bleed

Did u see the fetus during the 2nd scan? It shld still be there
 
honeycombi said:
Deblues, cant really advise u on this as i didnt seek 2nd opinion.
However, i did have 3 scans by the same gynae as i was scheduled to see him regularly to see if i have started bleeding and if i want to be induced to flush it out if i decided not to wait..

. For the 3 scans, the sac was still there, could see the fetus, but the size remained the same n no hb.. So i continued to wait.. Took me abt 4 weeks plus before it started to bleed

Did u see the fetus during the 2nd scan? It shld still be there
Click to expand...

Thanks honeyCombi for sharing.
I went for many scans on each week

Week 4 - empty sac

Dr #1
Week 6 - empty sac
Dr#2
Week 6 - empty sac
Irregular

Dr#3
Week 7 - fetal pole and yolk sac found no hb - even more irregular

Pending next week scan with dr#3 for follow up.... Guess I just have to wait for a few more weeks before the bleeding starts.
 

Yes I did a confinement and prepared confinement food for myself for 1 mth as we r staying on our own. U can also consider getting tingkat catering so u can rest more. I din noe wat to cook so I refer to a confinement cookbook haha

Hmmm.. I avoided cold/raw food and drinks, drank longan red dates tea everyday, quick showers and dried hair with hairdryer, avoided windy places, wore socks, ate lots of food cooked with ginger and sesame oil, drank a bit of DOM every night.. I din take chicken essence cos I have endometriosis and was told to avoid/cut down on chicken.

Get plenty of rest and take gd care of urself so u can try again when u r ready.
 
deblues said:
Thanks honeyCombi for sharing.
I went for many scans on each week

Week 4 - empty sac

Dr #1
Week 6 - empty sac
Dr#2
Week 6 - empty sac
Irregular

Dr#3
Week 7 - fetal pole and yolk sac found no hb - even more irregular

Pending next week scan with dr#3 for follow up.... Guess I just have to wait for a few more weeks before the bleeding starts.
Click to expand...

Take care, see wat the doc say after ur next scan.
 
Kumorin said:
Yes I did a confinement and prepared confinement food for myself for 1 mth as we r staying on our own. U can also consider getting tingkat catering so u can rest more. I din noe wat to cook so I refer to a confinement cookbook haha

Hmmm.. I avoided cold/raw food and drinks, drank longan red dates tea everyday, quick showers and dried hair with hairdryer, avoided windy places, wore socks, ate lots of food cooked with ginger and sesame oil, drank a bit of DOM every night.. I din take chicken essence cos I have endometriosis and was told to avoid/cut down on chicken.

Get plenty of rest and take gd care of urself so u can try again when u r ready.
Click to expand...
Thank you. Did you start taking DOM right after D&C the same night? Or wait till spotting is gone? So you drank only longan red dates water for the entire month ? No other water? Did you brew any herb from the Chinese medical hall ?
 
deblues said:
Thanks honeyCombi for sharing.
I went for many scans on each week

Week 4 - empty sac

Dr #1
Week 6 - empty sac
Dr#2
Week 6 - empty sac
Irregular

Dr#3
Week 7 - fetal pole and yolk sac found no hb - even more irregular

Pending next week scan with dr#3 for follow up.... Guess I just have to wait for a few more weeks before the bleeding starts.
Click to expand...

Hi deblues, did your gynae ordered HCG blood test for you? Based on my multiple miscarriages, the HCG count is a reliable way to know if the pregnancy is viable. You will need at least 2 blood test (48 hours apart) to compare.
 
Maybebb said:
Hi deblues, did your gynae ordered HCG blood test for you? Based on my multiple miscarriages, the HCG count is a reliable way to know if the pregnancy is viable. You will need at least 2 blood test (48 hours apart) to compare.
Click to expand...

Hi maybebb

Sorry to hear about ur multiple experiences. :(
Hope u r feeling better now.

Yup he did I'm going for my 2nd round tmr....
 
Thanks babe for the kind thoughts....... hope miracles do happen...

Yes... he didnt show much as he feels a need to be the pillar of support...
but I know he's actually feeling quite upset and grieved too. Hope you are going strong too maybebb
 
shuqin said:
Thank you. Did you start taking DOM right after D&C the same night? Or wait till spotting is gone? So you drank only longan red dates water for the entire month ? No other water? Did you brew any herb from the Chinese medical hall ?
Click to expand...

No I waited till no more bleeding before taking DOM. I drank longan red date tea everyday but I also drink a bit of warm plain water sometimes. Din buy any herbs cos not gd at brewing stuff. I din think of showering w herbs cos I din noe where to get them.
 
Hey ladies I'm starting to bleed slightly today. Should my confinement routine start now or only after my bleeding stops?

Also I'm feeling super tired and back sore is this normal? Sorry fears first time to this.... Thanks in advance for al the advices

Bath in herbs
Eat confinement food
Cannot blow fan
Drink Dom
 
deblues said:
Hey ladies I'm starting to bleed slightly today. Should my confinement routine start now or only after my bleeding stops?

Also I'm feeling super tired and back sore is this normal? Sorry fears first time to this.... Thanks in advance for al the advices

Bath in herbs
Eat confinement food
Cannot blow fan
Drink Dom
Click to expand...


You can bath in herbs (Da Feng Ai), Eat Confinement food and Drink Longan Red Dates tea first...
Longan Red dates tea to replace plain water for at least 2 weeks. if you can, then drink to one month.
have plenty of Bed Rest
Don't blow fan or Aircon...
Try not to wash hair for 2 weeks too
Wear Socks to sleep every night...
Drink DOM after bleeding stops.
If you can, go Chinese Medical shop buy 2 dose of Shen Hua Tang. Drink for 2 days early in the morning since your bleeding just started... this Soup will help you clear your Blood , flush away the clots..... it is very good... you can ask the Chinese Medical Hall.
Don't Carry heavy things... really must rest a lot a lot And Most importantly Sleep Early to boost your "Qi" , preferably by 11 pm, latest 12 am....

Hope these helps
 
Last edited:
i actually drink it for 6 months daily .... because My TCM advise me to do so... but if you cannot, best is still to drink for 2 weeks to 1 month
 
shuqin said:
Is longan red date 'water' ok instead of longan red date 'tea'? I didn't add tea to the longan red date. Is this fine?
Click to expand...
Actually its not tea. Its just a drink. I throw ingredients such as old ginger, red dates, longan and some dangsheng into a pot of water then boil for 30mins...after that transfer to thermal flask n drink throughout. Dang sheng is to bu qi. We need this to replenish our energy especially after the mc.
 
During confinement period, do you carry on with the folic acid? I have balance pre-natal pills ( multi vits and folic acid). Wonder when should I start taking them?
 
deblues said:
thanks alot faithmummy
oh no lo i havent prepare any of my confinement stuff.... i tot it's after bleeding... omg..
Click to expand...
Hi deblues,
Hope u'r coping well. I had severe cramps during the first 3 days of natural mc. The red dates longan drink can help replenish blood esp during this bleeding period. Im into my 4th week of mc, and still drinking this on alternate days.

Its important to eat healthily during this period. More veg and fish. Take dom after bleeding had stopped completely. Initially when i thought my bleeding had subsided, i took dom. Turned out there was abit of fresh blood again.
U can cook mee sua with liver n add sesame oil and abit of dom. The alcohol will evaporate upon cooking while the essence of herbs in dom retains in the soup.
Meanwhile, rest well
 
Thanks honeyCombi. The weird thing is I'm not feeling any cramps at all. Will see how it is in a few days.

Pls take good care too babe
 
deblues said:
Thanks honeyCombi. The weird thing is I'm not feeling any cramps at all. Will see how it is in a few days.

Pls take good care too babe
Click to expand...
Thanks deblues, i guess mine was due to the fact that fetus was 8 weeks plus so there were alot of tissues to be passed out.. It was a really traumatic experience as i thought it was just like menses bleeding. But was not... Hence the cramps..

Take care too *hugs*
 
So sorry to hear about all your losses. My EDD was Jan 15, 2016. Baby had a strong heartbeat at week 6 but a little after week 8 when I went for second u/s, there was no heartbeat :( Did D&C on June 12 as it was not happening naturally. Still have slight spotting/brownish discharge. Doc said after first cycle I can start trying again. I am also 33 yrs old. Strength and support to all of you to have success in the future!
 
Nightsky said:
So sorry to hear about all your losses. My EDD was Jan 15, 2016. Baby had a strong heartbeat at week 6 but a little after week 8 when I went for second u/s, there was no heartbeat :( Did D&C on June 12 as it was not happening naturally. Still have slight spotting/brownish discharge. Doc said after first cycle I can start trying again. I am also 33 yrs old. Strength and support to all of you to have success in the future!
Click to expand...

Sorry to hear about your loss babe. Be strong....
 
Dearies sorry me again.... Usually what should we do if it bleeds? Do we need to take antibiotics while we bleed or keep seeing doctor?

Or just let it bleed naturally then follow up with gynae after without any special medical care.
 
deblues said:
Dearies sorry me again.... Usually what should we do if it bleeds? Do we need to take antibiotics while we bleed or keep seeing doctor?

Or just let it bleed naturally then follow up with gynae after without any special medical care.
Click to expand...
Hi deblues,
I was alrdy scheduled to see my gynae while waiting for my natural m/c. So when it started bleeding, it was abt 1week plus before the appt, so i waited until the appt date to see him n he prescribed antibiotics.

Initially on the day when i started bleeding, i went to kkh o/g clinic to ask for antibiotics, but the nurse told me its not necessary as i did not have any fever. She told me if i really have fever, i can just take panadol..
 


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