Support group - Miscarriages

Hi ling
thks for ur reply
am getting myself prepared first since i dun hv high hope now..;(
i feel miserable now as there is heatbeat but leaving me soon.. Pls tell me more how dnc was done so that i will be more prepared when the sad day come next wk..;( wht happen to ur bb? Do u bleed alot after ur dnc? Oso, how many days mc gynea advise to rest? Thk u
 


Hi Joanne...

I dont know whether I do you good at all by telling you the D and C procedures.

D and C is although and invasive surgery it isnt painful after it. At least for me I only felt cramps *uterus shrinking back* after the procedure. It is not all that frightening to be truthful and you will be put under GA so totally no regards for anything and you fall into a deep sleep when they are ready. After resting you can go home but no driving and I think is best if Hubby can go with you to hold you. I had a lot of tears and felt better when hubby was with me the whole time. MC or hospitalization leave will be given for up to 2 weeks. During this time take the effort to rest. I didnt move around much first 3 days of the operation and experienced little bleeding and on the 3rd and 4th stopped. However I went out on Sat andthe bleeding started again but only slightly and after 3 days it somehow stop. My guess is movement also will prompt bleeding. Also bleeding differs as long as it is not too heavy and no major clots it is generally okay.

My babies no heartbeat on the 12 week check up. 1 measured 9 weeks and another measured 9 weeks 6 days. Anything can happen because during my 8th week the heartbeat was strong and the gynae even said looks like a healthy pair. Who knows!
 
Hi ling
thk u so much.. But i do not intend to let my collegues know.. Wonder can i jus rest six day and go back to work after that..
As will be taking my own leave..;(
are we suppose to do one wk confinement only? Where did u do ur dnc? I think the menses will be quite heavy one mth after dnc.. Sigh.. And not sure after how many wks then it will come.. It must be real tough for u since u r having twins.. So sadz.. Bb size must already be quite big at wk 9..do u hv any symptons before ur checkup up at wk 12 on when bb heartbeat stop? Any bleeding?
Hi optimus prime
i dun hv high hope since bb didnt grow much in size means not a healthy bb anymore..;( pls share with me ur experience too..
 
Beri,

I heard PCOS can reover is that true? I suspect I Pcos earlier when we went without protection but no babies after 6 months. I dont know whether it is the food we are eating now it is becoming so common... *sianz*

Jo,me also never let my colleagues know. I just told them I got some women illness and full stop. I went to my gynae at ESH. I like the hospital and next time I hope is to go there and give birth and nothing else!! =D Ya the babies were quite big and all the arms and legs were nicely formed. Pretty upsetting.My husband and I cried our eyes out when we reach home. I didnt have any symptons of miscarriage because I had no bleeding/spotting throughout the short pregnancy but my husband commented that I didnt feel so warm to touch for the last week and I find myself not putting on weight. 2 days prior to the scan I had a dream that I was at a gynae doing some stupid tests and the words on the piece of result paper wrote miscarriage. We really didnt have a single clue and we were still so happy like 10 sec when we entered the gynae room!

Anyway it's over and I conclude we all had a bad dream. I am still upset but feeling much better although I easily tear here and there when I think about it. There no way we can alter the past so just look forward to the future. At least you still have a kid so is not all bad. =)
 
hey girls,i went out for some fresh air yest to destress myself and i kinda felt better (ntuc also can lah). no more spotting for me..just fell tired now maybe was busy making cookies for hari raya just now...i was given mc for a week. going to see gynae on 18th..gynae mentioned that i could try again after hari raya..but i fell that its still early...shouldnt i wait till my menses come round first?
 
hihi.. it's me again... gosh.. u gals really help me feel normal. JTML - I also rush to this site right after i get off work... it's like only the people here can understand what we are going thru.. think hubby is abit worried but he also recognise that it's a form of support to keep me sane...today lagi better.. we were having discussion on encouraging people to have more children and this guy brought up this article published in Straits Times recently abt abortion and started describing graphically what happens when baby gets aborted... Though I didn't abort mine.. but the words.. dead foteus and them being treated as medical waste and chucked into unmarked graves really got to me... nearly wanted ask him to shut up cos he was so clinical abt the whole thing... arggh!!!

Joanne - Try to keep ur spirits up ok.. Think positive!

Ling - Me also like u leh.. absolutely no symptoms that baby was gone... although my BBT did fall by quite a bit... but i thought it was ok cos some websites say it's normal for it to fluctuate.. sigh... but i suppose if it's fated to be like that, got symptoms also no use.

Yanyat... I think the common advice is to try after one cycle leh.. maybe u wanna check with ur gynae? Try to get more rest... baking cookies sound tiring!!
 
ppcc, i'm ok...will rest from now onwards =p baking keeps my mind occupied...everytime i get time alone, my mind starts to wonder..and i get upset all over again....
 
you girls who just had D&C, should rest more! don't run around. the bleeding get worst when u move about. i realised that if you stay in bed whole day. not much bleeding. :D
 
Hi Gals,
May i know is there any caterer cater confinement food for one week only? As everyday say we shd do some confinement after dnc, yet, i like to rest at home alone so thinking of catering.. anyone know is there any? if yes, can i hv the tel?

Btw, as i dun like my collegues to know, is it possible if we use my gynea mc to go to my downstair gp exchange for their mc? so that company wun suspect anything... anyone did that before? THinking of resting one week only... is that sufficient? Please help me...

THank you gals... hope we can get bfp again with healthy bb and smooth pregnancy for 9months...
 
hi Joanna: My gynae fees only up to 1K plus a bit and I did at Thomson Medical Center. I claimed everything thru medisave because it is done in hospital mah. It will cost not so much until 2-3K unless you stay overnight or you testing the tissue of the baby for soemthing. For me only day surgery...

Joanne for catering I am not sure sorrieee...

yanyat: wah you make hari raya cookies? Eh, dun do all the mixing yourselves with too much strength okay?? For me after the D&C I was tired ler. You not tired?

Hi Ling: yeah lor, I also no clue until I reach into the gynae and gynae start scanning. Cos I got no bleeding ...hiaz... We were in so much shock.
 
Ling, i tink no cure for PCOS.. gynea always said try to lose weight n exercise more... but it's actually nt easy to lose the weight. my fren is single n having PCOS, the more she tried to lose weight, the further her weight goes up.. she fell into depression... haiz, can oni hope for the best.
 
no cure for PCOS. but you can control it.
happy.gif
 
ppcc:
You tell the guy lah, why you so interested about the abortions details?? After this miscarriage I feel not so neutral about abortion anymore. I want bb... It is like my whole drection in life change. LIke from work fulfillment mode to baby making mode...hiaz....

Yanyat: Do you have have a mini confinement? Dun move around too much okay like what lynn says...
I just sit here lie there and talk to my mum who came to accompany me. hehheh and of course sometimes cheat to go NTUC or buy something.

Anyway I got a license to let everyone in my family scold me now...Full blown flu, just 3 weeks after my D&C. My hubby is hoping mad worried saying "is this normal?" err....

Guess what, we collect the cot from my friend because she say if we dun take, another friend is going to use it for their dog...The friend look at me, ...and my practical mind just OKOK. Anyway it is there in my empty room. Save $$ lor, since spend so much on checks up and D&C.

I going to visit a friend tomorrow who gave birth. We bought baby clothes for her at kiddy palace. I think my husband wanted me quickly out of there. Heehee he say I a bit crazy nowadays. hiaz....
 
i'm ok girls, thanks
i get bored easily when i have nothing to do...anyway my bleeding stopped 2 days after the d&c..now just waiting for my appt with the gynae and my next menses to come
 
Hi bluberi:
Can a person with PCOS be high weight and keep there, why PCOS ppl must lose weight? Is it health reasons only since I guess it is in their hormones that make their weight high??
 
oh okay... hmmm this PCOS very tough, I really admire the ladies with PCOS. The babies they bear is indeed a miracle and precious.
I thought it is not so bad one, but after I read some websites, I am amazed.
 
yes. and i think i most suay. i got PCOS and the chorosome abnormality. I'm just starting to think that i may just never have a baby carried to term.
sad.gif
 
wei wei wei dun negative again ha...
... If one day you have baby, You must really share your story you know... At least you still wanna try mah... Odds are very very very very difficult but I see you have fighting spirit!
BTW what your gynae say can try after 1 year ..means ....got chance, got chance, but of course must ready your heart....
 
I'm more concern about the process of getting there. i'm very afraid of the amount of D&Cs that i may need before succeeding and how much it would harm my body.
 
hmmm Lynn: D&C to western medicine is not so serious, of course chinese medicine thinks it is serious. Don't worry, you seem look after yourself well. eh you went back work after 1 week MC right? Hiaz, eat well and bu your body okay, don't be like me sick after 3 weeks...hiaz now kenna scolding from everyone in my family....
 
Hi jtml
thks so much for ur reply.. Cry to sleep last nite again.. Sadz.. Not easy to overcome it..

Hi gals, during ur confinement week, wht u gals take if u r alone at home?? Can we eat normal food? I will still bath but will be drinking red date drink.. Is one wk confinement sufficient?
Pls help me..
 
Morning girls!

Wah so many threads after I miss out last night. Went to attend my friend ROM in the evening yesterday. Everyone was saying eat this drink that but I just keep saying not feeling well cannot eat and my hubby zoom zoom 45 mins on the dot come and fetch me. I felt less pressure and ease when I left. Think I am still not "conducting" myself normally in front of friends and colleagues to hide this mc.

Jo, I think if you do it at hospital they will give you a hospital mc and not a gynae mc. Anyway if ppl ask just say women illness to clear the uterus. No need much details just say very common nowadays according to gynae. We know the pain *hugzz*. I cant help on the food department because I went back home to mums and after even now I went back to work I am still picking up my breakfast and lunch she homecook before going to work.

Lynn, I saw this lady blog when I was lazing at home last week.9 times mc give birth to 2 babies and 1 more on the way.. think she was on clomid but she didnt say if is pcos or why she took it. She say every pregnancy is a chance. She ang moh though so I say she really mentally very strong.

ppcc and jtml, if we no bleeding and just scan baby which shows no hb does it mean our womb and uterus is fine is just that it was just unfortunate the baby was not developing properly. so many questions but no answers.. sigh...

yan, time will heal all wounds.. maybe not totally and you get a scab or a scar but it will get better I promise.

Ok got to go back to work =)
 
Hi Ladies

For short period confinment food, maybe you can try Natal Essentials. I booked their meals for 3 days (2 meals a day) after my D&C. The food is so-so, but nutritious. The soups are very good.

The TCM doctor I went to said that after the D&C, we have to keep healthy, try not to catch any bugs or flu. I think the permise is that our bodies are vulnerable during this period.

Lynn..hugz..i hope you don't give up! As long as you don't give up, there is always a chance.

JTML - get well soon.
 
JTML,

Just read you kena flu! Goodness I very scare now.. I feel a sneeze yesterday night and my hubby warn me to wear long pants to sleep *he is playing confinement lady when my mum is not around =(* sometimes the bug wants to find you how to avoid!

You recover well okay.. I know your mum is surely nagging you to death!
 
Joanne, I paid $1.550 for Evacuation at KKH, i used my husband's medisave, so we only need to pay $50 in the end, phew!

Very sad to see you visiting this thread, bb can feel your emotion.. so you must be strong too k?
 
hi all,

MIA for a while coz so well buried with work.work was a good distraction for me. but i recently found out a colleague is preggie, hb's fren just gave birth and another fren is preggie. suddenly, i felt so depressed again.
sad.gif


joanne, don't give up. who knows, maybe your bb heartbeat will become stronger in the next scan. be positive!

according to old folks, 1 wk confinement is not enough. ideally should be 40 days of confinement food. u can order catering for confinement food for 1 week for the days you are on HL. here are some urls.

www.newbaby.com.sg
www.natalessentials.com
confinementfood.com
ihostfood.com

JTML, oh dear, you kena flu. must take more vit c and take care. get well soon.

these days, my body felt stronger with all the bu i'm taking thanks to my MIL. so i guess the confinement food n herbs really help. but at times, i still subcumb to my cravings. still got 2 more weeks of confinement food for me til i hit the 40th day mark.
 
i actually had flu 2 days after the d&c..i took the yellow flu tablet and recovered thereafter..think our system was down thats why we get sick easily eh...
yesterday wen i saw news abt baby being born on 090909 i got emotional again =(
 
Hi gals
thk u do muchfor the useful link.. Will check it out and hope they deliver to sembawang, a ulu place..
40days!! Thats alot.. I intend to do only onw wk since when go back to work, diffcult to take any confinement food.

U gals really didnt bath for at least one wk??

Hi shann
yup, very sad that my bb going leave me..;'( ur dnc are so cheap.. But am doing mine at gleneagles, suppose to be at least one k at least.. Sadzzz.. So much expensive.. Anyone here did ur dnc at gleneagles? Can advise how much u spend jus on the dnc alone?

Hi lynn
as i worry if i give my collegues my hospital leave, my collegue may call to them to find out more.. They very bad one.. Sigh. Thats why like to hide as much as i can.. Very sad hor..dun know wht other better excuse to use liao beside use my gp mC to hide totally.. Wonder will my gp cooperate with me by giving me their mc in exchange.. Sigh.. As dun like pp keep asking wht women problem u hv when go back and why happen so sudden without early inform etc.. Very sad liao but still need to answer so much to their questions..sadz..
 
Joanne don't say that yet, your bb's heart is still pumping! you take care k.. actually i didn't really have very strict confinement food, i had some, but i think the 2nd or 3rd week i started to eat normal food, mixed vegetable rice stall from foodcourt and all, but i chose those dishes that comes with ginger, or if i saw herbal soup, i would buy that. Now I am fully back to normal diet, spicy and all, i can't wait for my KFC!! hubby also said can go back to normal diet already cuz he sees me quite healthy now.. somemore insisted me to drink cold fruit juice.. he said can la can la, what's the difference from drinking cold fruit juice and eat cold fruit which u just take out from fridge?

But one week is a MUST ok? i think it depends on individual health, if after one week u still feel weak, probably u should continue your confinement.

I hate myself talking all these to you. Don't say already. Ni yao jia you..
 
Jo,

If it is a hospital MC dont even have a telephone number on what ward so they wont be able to find out.

Remember to drink hot milo and eat some nutritious oatmeal or something. You never know how the baby going to react. As long got HB means got chance..I can tell you even when the gynae tell me no hb i still insist I need a second opinion the next day to confirm no hb at the hospital scan. So dont give up!!
 
Hi,

Just did the D&C last Friday, blighted ovum. This is my first pregnancy after 10 years of marriage. Did anyone have auto immune disorder? I was tested ANA positive and a gynae said there is a possibility that my antibodies is rejecting the embryo. Half-hearted to try again as I am afraid that the second pregnancy may end up the same.

Joanne,

Please don't give up. Jia You!
 
Hi Ailing:
Sorry for the news.. Hope you handling well lor. Eh you ask the doctor if you can still try? Or need to go for more help to correct the autoimmue before you try???
 
hi Joanne:
You asking so many things about the confnement food etc etc Hope you dun make arrangments until it is confirmed okya..okay...Now NOT NOT confirmed.....
 
Hihi...

Yes Joanne... JTML is right... u still hv hope, so set ur mind on the positive side okie?? Jia you!

JTML, u very brave leh.. to visit ur friend's newborn... me still hypersensitive now... my hubby says he's been invited to his friend's kid's one-yr old party this wkend... and i got abit upset that he's even thinking abt going... very irrational but it's like how can he bring himself to stand there and sing birthday song for another kid when his own baby just died??!! arggh... hope i can get over this soon.. so unreasonable...

Hmm... I agree with u too abt changing life direction... i was already quite obsessed with getting a kid b4 i got pregnant.. but after losing my baby, i feel like life's so meaningless.. suddenly i lose direction in life... even felt like quitting my job.. but not as if it's going to help.. sigh..

Do u gals feel like u are living life in two parallel tracks now? sometimes i still think of how my life will be like if i were still pregnant... like how my baby is going to turn 13 wks today...
 
Hi Ailing, sorry to see u here.. understand the bit abt being half-hearted... esp since I really dunno what made my baby stop growing...give urself some time okie? focus on recovering from ur D&C first...same to Lynn too.. Jia You.. All of us must Jia You!!

Regarding the confinement period, i also quite confused... my MIL says four weeks but my mum says after first wk can go back to normal diet liao.. I'm erring on the side of caution so i'm still taking the red dates tea and my MIL cooks the confinement food for dinner.. but lunch time is really picking the least harmful food from outside liao...
 
Ai ling, if its antibodies over active, you can take medicine to bring it down and let it don't reject baby.. but the bad things i think you would be less immune to sickness and all that.

yes. i'm not giving up hope, just that sometimes when you hear friends give birth etc etc.. you can't help but feel erm.. sad.. I've read stories about girls who have my condition. 13m/cs and still no baby.. it sometimes get really depressing as well.

as for mini confinement, 14days should be enough? I did 14 days for all 3 times. just that the last one after 7days go back to work and take all the confinement stuff at work including the tea.
 
This is not a good month.. like everyday we have someone new joining us. Take care Ai Ling.. everything will be fine soon. We will get better for sure and maybe a bundle sooner or later... I heard from a colleague who was sharing her women illness with me abt her sister. Miscarriage 4 times and eventually this year she is expecting her 3rd child.

ppcc,

I so agree! I was still thinking about how I will be feeling being 13 week of pregnancy these couple of days and how it would be going for oscar test ..=( Keep being boh liao and thinking if I want to do a job I like than one where I work for the money....

Anyway my hubby not taking it too well I reckon. Just now he suddenly tell me he is going to change his car .. I was like whats wrong with the current car?!? He said he seen it all and having money also meaningless... *speechless*

Just when I thought everything is getting better I realize that maybe I neglected his feeling as well. The only good thing that came out of this miscarriage is that I feel our marriage reach another level and have become stronger than before.

I look forward to tomorrow because today is just one of those bad days I seem to have after the mc
 
ppcc and ling:
hiaz. yeah lor. I feel so frustrated sometimes..thinking I am obsessed. Hiaz. I still read up on March thread, but now think of it, we need it yeah yeah? I must think of TTC now onwards. TTC after my health come back to normal.

I did not go in the end, my hubby say may spread my flu to her and baby. Not nice. Well...I brought the baby clothes lor, most probably pass to her hubby on sunday.

Lynn:
sad hor but I really think your situation is so unique... Dunno what to say sometimes, that why it is great to see you still holding on to hope. see hor, once you TTC, I must bbdust you many buckets... And of course hope you strike good good!!

YanYat: how many hari Raya cookies you bake??hahhahah. heheheh but I cannot eat...sore thoat. BTW DO you have confinement? You recovered from your flu? I very sleepy ler...... flu meds making me nuts..
 
JTML: thank you! going to rest probably all the way till new year next year. today i felt abit weird and have egg white discharge, think probably ovulation.. Hubby going to siam far far liao
sad.gif
 
JTML,

I dont know why we are like cannot move on keep thinking about about it.. I guess is normal since a few of us here are guilty of the same thoughts. =) That's comforting to be truthful..

Dont go if they are aware of your mc, if they pantang scare they may scare clash. You know this kinda if nothing happen fine, if something happen sure to blame. I get very paranoidal maybe is just me. Also I dont think I have the courage to see both mum and newborn, remind me of my loss.

Lynn, Jia You! 50% still chances lah.. We just need babies who will stick with us... sigh...

Ok today is not any better with me.. dont know why super blue although is Friday. Maybe scare too much free time anyhow think. =(

Back to work....*sigh*
 
Thank you ladies. I am half-hearted cos I do not know what is wrong with me. One gynae said the blighted ovum could be due to unhealthy egg or sperm, poor implantation, virus infection etc. The other gynae said it could be due to my auto immune. There are so many possibilities. Anyway auto immune disorder is untreatable, medication can be taken to suppress the immune system but they have harmful side effects. I am currently not under any medication cos other than tested ANA positive, I do not have any obvious systom for lupus etc.

I really must salute you ladies for being so brave and the never give up spirit. All I can do now is to try to "tio" and "bu" my body then consider if I would try again. Fear to face disappointment again. Anyway, Jia You ladies.
 
Hi Ailing,

My gynae also tested me for antibodies. Results out next week and I think even if it comes back postitive negative or whatever I will give myself a second chance. You never know what exactly it is since the gynae cannot pinpoint the problem. If you give up on yourself than that is zero chances.

Chin up =)
 
JTML, my mom didnt ask me to do any confinment..she just made sure i rested and ate on time.. i only took chicken essence after my colleague told me to do so..i also stayed at home throughout the week except for the day i sneaked out to ntuc...i made 2 types of cookies..still have to bake cheesecake next sat..actually i'm not sure how i will react when ppl ask how i am during hari raya...hope i dont break down again
 
hi yanyat, hmm I guess you have to bear the questions as is it is so near festive season. tough hor...eh chicken essense yeah yeah it is good.

Hi Shannon, I think I am CD25 but still I have dark discharge here and there, no AF. I think my AF is not coming...Since I have flu I dun know what liao...

Hi Ailing you also Jia you. I also not feel ready first few days after my D&C...but later I become very eager to try again. hehehhehe...blighted ovum is sometimes just happen by chance right?

Hi Ling:
I think this flu wake up my idea, I need to really look after myself.... I think my period run away liao...
 
Shannon, I think normal right.. I see most girls see their period return 4 weeks till 8 weeks so stay tuned for blood vegenance ;) I heard it normally comes heavily after an MC... *sigh*

yan, next week will be better... keep busy is always good because you think of it less.

JTML.. take care of the flu I think AF will haunt you soon =)

Anyway just to share, my hubby went ahead and made a hasty purchase today very unlike him- bought his dream car. I ask him why he only had the idea the other day so fast make decision. He said money is useless and life is more than that. Than I question him if the mc is affecting him. He admitted and told me his biggest regret was he didnt manage to see the 2nd twin bouncing around with heartbeat as he was on duty travel during my 2nd ultra sound so I went alone. We didnt know we were expecting twins because the first scan only showed a fetal pole and gynae said is a single babe. Only for me to see the twins together on the 2nd ultra sound which surprised the gynae and me pleasantly only to have us lost them on the 3rd visit =(. I didnt know the mc was affecting him so much as well and neglected his feeling. I told him I promise we will get pregnant soon once my health permit but he say he fear mc again. So girls, while we dwell on our sorrow do remember to include hubby as well because they dont have it any easier than us =( *sob* .. See my hubby so heartbroken I also heartache and he told me next time if I am going for pregnancy checkup he will attend and cancel all duty travel which warmed my heart.

I am not feeling too great these couple of days because I felt his sadness.Sigh... is really not all that easy to overcome this mc..
 


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