Support group - Miscarriages

hi ladies.. it's the wkend.. hope u are all feeling better... me still feeling abit lost.. baby was with us for only 2mths but made such a lasting impact... dunno how to go abt life without baby.. but i think we really hv to try hard to move on.. saw in the papers today abt a lady in HK who was so desperate to hv a baby that she killed a pregnant acquaintance and tried to take her baby out.. in the end the friend didn't die but the poor baby got brain damage cos of the lack of oxygen when the mummy was strangled... sigh... i dun want to turn bonkers like tat woman!

Ling.. u are right... we muz bear in mind our hubbies as well... think they got double stress also cos not only are they grieving over the baby, they are worried abt us too.. my hubby lost some weight over the past few weeks.. and he always had weight loss problems.. so can imagine the stress that he has been going thru

erm.. can i ask what this anti-bodies testing is abt? my gynae didn't do anything leh.. is it too late for me to ask him to these tests now?
 


Hi JTML, blighted ovum could happen by chance. But since my hb's SA showed a morphology problem (it is so bad that the Chinese Sinseh and Gynae said it is not possible for us to conceive naturally, got to do IVF, so it came as a surprise when I found myself pregnant, only that it ended up with a missed abortion), I am afraid that his sperm is unhealthy and I will have to go through the agony again.

Hi ppcc, usually gynae will only order anti-bodies test if you have recurrent miscarriages (three mc in a row). People tested ANA positive means that they have a higher than normal anti-bodies in their bodies and they have somehow go haywire and unable to differentiate between healthy and unhealthy cells and attack your body. The anti-bodies may view the embryo or baby as a foreign invaders and attack them and as a result causing recurrent mc or premature babies. Some anti-bodies may create blood clots which block the blood and nutrients flowing through the placenta, causing early miscarriages. That's why gynae prescribe baby aspirin to thin the blood to prevent blood clots in such pregnancies.
 
Hi Girls...

JTML, my hubby on regular basis is one of those bo chup person you can ever date. He doesnt send me home on dates due to distances and we dont celebrate anything because both of us are so lazy =D. Thus I think the mc is affecting him quite a bit thus loss his regular bo chup.

ppcc, we will be strong lah! I am glad we have it here to encourage one another =) Dont know where I can vent if not for here.

I am not sure about the antibodies actually. My Gynae suggested it beside the viral infection blood test because she seems quite determined the babies were healthy at our 2nd scan because during my 1st scan strong hb and twin 1 can be detected without much effort. Anyway will know more on Monday and update.

I was too hazy so whatever she ask me I say okay. The only thing she didnt ask me to do was the testing of the fetus for chorosomal abnormolities.
 
hmmm good that we can talk here lor, if not we go just brood and brood mah. haha ppcc dun worry, the fact that you are here mean you are okay. at least we let out some frustration and then we can release some stress. I find myself stressing out on work these days. I dreamt about work sometimes, but last night I dreamt about losing baby again.

Ai ling: oh, you conceived naturally right? hmmm, you both proved your gynae and senseh wrong. There are some foods that can help Man improve sperm quality right, I believed your your senseh prescribed something for your hubby. Maybe eat longer will becoem better!!

I always see some ppl is more lucky they don't have problem. Want to give birth they plan then they get. Then some just accident and say they are not ready. Even some shotgun at 18 years old just 1 time. It is so unimaginable. To us, we have treat our pregnancy so fragile and careful. Then we have to do the OPKs and HPTs etc etc. Anyway, I still will try no matter what, just the process. I don't want too stressed up with the HPTs and the OPKs. hiaz...

BTW good news girls, my AF came... now dunno should drink the herbal soup or not...I stop my bai feng wan liao...bleeding, don't eat bai feng wan.

You know I really want to write to newspaper GOV want baby, should make it easier to let couples find flats to stay, don't make it so expensive and make couples wait so long to queue for Build to Order, wait 4-5 years then all the girls become late 20 or early 30s. Then after that the clearblue is so expensive..........
 
Hi Ai Ling.. tks for the explanation... is there anything that can be done abt the morphology problem?

hmm, i did asked my gynae whether there can be any tests done to find out what went wrong but he said that usually for first miscarriages, the test results are non-conclusive so no pt doing any tests... most likely it's just some random abnormalities that prevented the baby from growing... so sigh... guess i'll never know the answer
 
ShannYheng:
Maybe CD26 I do my D&C on 17th August.

ppcc:
Usually first miscarriage they will not test anything. My gynae just ask us try agin. full stop. bo liao. I tell him I got prevous minor heart procedure as I got irregular heartbeat. He also say never mind.
 
Congrats JTML... looks like u are ready to start TTC-ing again... My D&C was 11 days after u.. hopefully AF will report on time too... but hor, i still hv a bit of pinkish brown discharge today.. sigh...
 
HI JTML
Congrate to you... so nice... ur AF didn't delay too long to come after ur D&C and so fast that you can try again this month...

Hi Ling,
You are right... i think being a hubby is not easy too... they need to look strong outside to console us though they are bb father too... so definitely not easy for them too...it definitely make u more upset after wht ur hubby say...that's very sweet of your hubby... dun worry, try hard again very soon.. am sure you will give him a healthy bb very soon next yr again.

Hi Gals,
Am considering shd i go to KK for 2nd opinion? If do D&C in KK will be cheaper too right? jus like wht Shann say, only $50 after subsidy?? But I jus wonder is the way they did their D&C good? Really worry still end up with any blood clot inside... if go KK, any doc to recommend?

As I really worry the cost of DnC in Gleneagles... think is more expensive then Thomson too...sigh... really dun wish to spend so much $$... really already heartpain and double heartpain if still need spend so much...

feel very confuse now... should I go thomson to look for Dr Cheng or back to my current gynea or KK? Actually, when my current gynea detect my bb not growing much.. why he didn't give me any solutions whether is there still any possibilities to increase the bb growth like taking some medicine?? why jus asks me to wait for another 10days? is it really no more ways to do? sigh.... sorry, jus want to vent out my sadness here... now i jus pray for a miracle...
if you will me, will u go to thomson (since worry abt KK) to check again or stick to current gynea so that he can do more testing for you?

Btw, when you all do dnc, wht test did they offer for you? am sure that cost a bomb too... already hv a natural mc early this yr... really upset why it happen to me again..;-(
 
JTML.. I am sure you were looking forward to AF.. just when we were saying yesterday heh... What I know is that they say when AF come eat what bu also no use because cannot absorb. I think right after that can continue to bu.

I think tests are optional .. for me they ask I do because during that day everything was a blurred and I dont even remember what how and when. Anyway whatever the results come back I will still want to TTC again unless is a definte confirmation from that that I cannot conceive a healthy baby because so many others still went ahead with sucessful pregnancy after the mc. We cannot give up on ourselves!!!

ppcc.. me also still having slight on and off discharge lah.. quite irritating really. I have started to take out my BBT thermometer (from cold storage) to chart my temp again for the last few days. These few days I see my temp dip to my normal low bbt liao. Hopefully no more pregnancy hormones ald~!


Jo, dont know how to advise you.. maybe the rest of the girls can? Frankly I was ready to go to KK because I see it is much cheaper in the forum after my testing at my 1st trimester because twins always some complication one way or other... so if cost is a concern maybe KK would be the place?
 
hmmm JOanne:
Did your gynae prescribe any "duphadone"... I forgot my spelling? IF yes, I think should be okay right? I read that we cannot control much, just wait to see the results, the hormones are just to help if our body not producing enuf hormone to support pregnancy, if baby is not growing well due to chromosone abnormalies, the meds are not helpful.

Maybe can ask your gynae what is the cost of the procedure in your next visit? Then if next visit the result is not positive then you go for second opinion. Actually you also can see second opinion to see the scan lor...if you are worried and anxious... In mean time don't move around and do things, rest and I suggest you can eat nutrious food for example chicken essense also can....but it is really up to you lah....DOn't give up eating your folic acid okay....
 
Hi Joanne, agree with JTML.. maybe u ask the doctor at the next scan abt the cost? And perhaps prepare to go for second opinion at KKH and see what it costs there? btw, u can use Medisave to offset the hospital expenses... My understanding is that if u want it to be cheaper at KKH, u have to go into KKH as a subsidised patient, i.e. can't choose doctor.. This must be one of the most trying periods in ur life waiting for the next scan... but hang in there okie?
 
erh, i didn't get tested for the antibodies thingy, should I? i do know that i have chorosome abnormality. 3 m/cs already though. wondering if i should rule out any other things that affects?
 
JTML - i also heard from my mum that no use to drink bu during AF cos it all flow out... maybe u take a break for one or two days..

so it's normal to hv the pinkish discharge? phew... cos last few days i stopped bleeding liao and i was so relieved..hmm... maybe i shld fish out my thermometer too..sigh.... so sad.. hv to go back to the drill of charting temperature again... maybe the govt shld give OPKs and HPTs out for free...

thinking of wat to eat for dinner now... Is pizza allowed??? I'm sick of confinement food!!!
 
sigh.. okie..i tahan! Back to my pig liver and chicken soup then...

Abt the other tests... did ur gynae just test for the chomosome thing and nothing else? if he has already isolated the cause of ur m/c to the chromosome problem then maybe just focus on addressing that? I think there's really no single approach taken by gynaes... my colleague who lost her baby at six mths went thru an entire suite of tests with her husband cos they were so traumatised..
 
hmm.. I dunnoe. maybe ask my gynae again when i go see her for pap smear next year. :D

I'm just afraid that there are other factors?
 
Lynn, the gynae should know ba.. dont overthink it.. I just took everything because didnt know better and hubby stand was that everything he wants to know and he was the one going okay to everything .. sigh..Maybe you go visit the gynae earlier before your pap smear ;)

ppcc.. your colleague so ke lian!! 6 months and mc.... really very trumatized!! We only 2-3 months ald like so upset imagine their grieve!

In regards to food.. you only a few more days... almost there..... keep the faith for your health. =)
 
hmmm i dunnoe about yaclt. I was strictly red date & longnan tea for 14days wor..

Ling: oh. I was just wondering cause i read somewhere that if foetus has the same dna me, by right should be able to carry to term. I had one (the one sent for testing) that was exactly the same, that's why wondering why still lost it.. and thought maybe got other factors.
 
Hi ladies: have you all start surfing to check if there are anything to prevent miscarraiges. My search is all the usual; don't smoke, don't drink, don't do drug, Eat healthy, have prenatal checkup. That is all... da da...
 
JTML...

cannot drink cold drinks right?! I am also drinking all weird stuff my mum brew and plus rice water (dry grain fried with ginger)to drink at work because easier to brew. Dont lah.. you almost there liao otherwise the rest of the effort scare wasted..

Lynn, I think if same DNA if we carry antibodies that do not recongnize the fetus as pregnancy also will not be good for the baby. At this rate we should start going to NUS and try our luck at being gynae! heee

I was also surfing net how to prevent miscarriage =D nothing conducive but I think next one I am going to monitor my BBT till 1st trimester. It seems it is able to "predict" miscarriage once you notice it drop. Otherwise throughout the pregnancy I can imagine we are all going to be jittery..

So anyone going to ttc soon? I can hardly wait...I wish 3 months whizzed pass and I am at reset mode!
 
Hi Ling... yes.. my colleague's experience was very traumatising... it was first baby and for no reason the heartbeat just stopped.. and because the baby so big liao, she had to deliver it naturally... they did all the tests and couldn't find the cause.. thankfully she got pregnant six months later.. now her daughter is ten yrs old liao... she was one of the first people that i spoke to after the mc... really a source of support..

JTML - same here... can't find anything specific abt preventing miscarriages.. just the usual.. If I have all the money in the world, i will engage a gynae to monitor me everyday and strap myself to some machine 24/7 throughout my pregnancy to monitor the baby... Guess all we can do is to hope for the best and follow all those general advice.

so i guess all in all, we can do everything by the book but if it's not meant to be, it's not meant to be.. SIGH!
 
Ling: yeap. so i'm still thinking if should test. ask gynae when i see her.
happy.gif
mine all 3times didn't make it pass the 8th week. too much of a coincidence?
 
Hi Ling.. not sure abt the monitoring of BBT leh.. cos I was monitoring mine and really in the last 2 wks there were two days where the BBT fell quite low but other days went back to the high temps... I was quite worried when it went low and read lots of forums and websites.. most of the conclusion was that it's normal for BBT to fluctuate during pregnancy and it's no longer a reliable gauge...

As for ttc, these two days i've sort of warmed up to the idea (previously still got phobia).. but my mil went to temple and got a lousy lot when she asked if she'll get a grandchild this yr... so i'm really wondering if i shld wait till after CNY to try.. hah.. very superstitious hor.. but really.. once bitten, twice shy..
 
eh ppcc, means you'll wait until March ler. okay lor, take time to recover....
This kind of things that why I always tell my grandma and mum don't ever go to temple to ask anything about me. I warn them very seriously and if they ask don't tell me anything. I very extreme one ... hehehheheh

hahahha even if you engage the gynae hahahhahah the gynae and you will give up half way.

The BBT thingy sounds interesting... ME not so soon TTC, wait better... My health is bad now. I feel yesteday I was very very tired. I came home after work and then lie on sofa. SO I asked my hubby cook the rice for cooking porridge while season the fish. Go to sleep...then wake up for a while to favour it and then after eating, I straight away sleep.
 
JTML.. that herbal link that u sent is interesting.. but where can we find all these herbs in Sg??

sigh.. me also quite upset that my MIl went to ask.. she only told us abt this after the mc... sigh.. dunno if i wld hv went ahead to try if i had known abt it... then now, good lor.. want to try also dun dare... sigh.. and cos it's mil, i can't say her.. and i know she's going to ask again... arggghhh...

could u hv been feeling tired cos AF was coming?? I was very tired yesterday too... just concuss on the sofa after dinner and slept all the way till this morning..
 
Joanne, personally I think the gynae who did washing for me really did a good job, not much bleeding after that. Totally no bleeding for the 2nd - 4th days, then a little on the 5th and the 6th i think, then no more. Followed by healthy white discharge. He is TC Tan from KKH The Private Suite.
 
Hi Shann,
Oh... That's good... may I know is it you choose the gynea yourself? Or is it you jus walk in? as they say, walk in can't choose then will be cheaper.. if you choose will be charge as private rate... Kindly advise me soon...

Thank you so much gals for all your advise and help.. think I will seek 2nd opinion after see my first gynea on coming Thursday..(scary)...so sourcing for more info now...

Btw, i read that we can still measure our bbt to confirm our pregnancy... may i know how many degree and above consider still pregnant? Is it more than 37.2 or 37degree? thank u for your advise..
 
Hi Joanne:it is accurate only if you normally chart your temperature first thing morning. Then u see a pattern alr then you will know your high and low. Everyone diff ler...
 
Lynn, I think if all 3 cannot make it pass 8 weeks maybe want to get one of those opinions of high risk specialized gynae? I would be very curious why as well. Cannot be all 3 all kenna the bad eggs? Soemtimes very vexed by all these.. so many questions and no answers!!!

ppcc, the reason why I say BBT because my hubby commented last 2 weeks into the pregnancy I didnt feel that warm anymore and he didnt dare to tell me. Frankly I felt I wasnt so warm as well and it was obvious. It can probably help look our for symptons for mc but definetely cannot help to prevent anything. Still is better than like us with no prior bleeding etc and just happily go and scan and realize eh baby no heartbeat *faint* So unfair to not have any symptons at all for us! =(

WAh JTML.. tempted to try leh about all the weird conconction. I can only probably find the bay leave and milk easiest to make.. Bay leave can buy from NTUC...I think absorbic acid can be bought from Poon Huat or bakery places. Ok I think I am going into overdrive... hahahha

In regards to ask for lot for grandchild.. I actually early this year went for a tarot card reading for fun because my girlfriends was so into it and heck just join my fun. I have nothing to ask and so the tarot card reader came up with something along the line that I have 2 kids 1 boy and 1 girl next year. I was like how can it be possible because I dont even have 1 so she conclude I have faternal twins. I just laugh it off because was like yeah yeah yeah I will have 2 kids next years. Come July really pregant and when during the 2nd scan saw 2 fetus I got a chill but my twins were modi so will be same sex not like what she said. After it I am a bit phobic about the whole thing that she saw my dead fetus instead of real babies *sigh* Anyway no way I am going for tarot anymore. Just a little too scary for me after this. I dont want to know what the future holds afterall.

I am waiting to see chinese sinseh and what gyane would say. Frnakly after this mc I felt my want for a child become a little overwhelming. I also dont want to waste too many months because so old liao *sigh* and I want my 3 kids even more... okay sounding desperate again. Duh!

Jo, jia you.. Thursday coming very soon. As for BBT it is something you have to monitor as everyone is different. Some people have a lower BBT some higher.. I was monitoring mine for 1 month before conception so when the temp raise and remain that level it was a confirmation that I was pregnant even before the HPT test.

Shann my discharge also something along the line like yours but I have no white discharge. So like that indicate gynae did a good job huh? That is comforting to know.
 
Ling yes you overdrive. Haha ... I will read on the ingredients first lor if I try . Scurry. The site just write for fun. The absorbic acid is vit c ler....Bbt I hopeless one I very illdisciplined then I wake diff hours of the day .
Ppcc ya lor so tired I using husband HP to surf. He caught my flu so now both grounded at home.
Lynn how long you stay with your gynae? If regular customer can call and ask?
 
Ling I think I will probiA if I were you . I like to believe I can have some choice over my fate. Then if I know future I will freak. Ppcc I tell my mil also hee hee. Extreme right. I so serious because I have seen very bad outcomes from looking to these means for consultation.
 
JTML: hmm about a year plus. she thinks its the chorosome abnormality that causes the MC. but i'm thinking can't be always produce bad egg right? >.< or maybe just suay.
 
Hi Lynn,
How many months gap do you have for your each mc? Did you bu more after each mc? it is my 2nd mc so i can't really accept... moreover, i hv my elder son conceive naturally...whereas my the other two mc happen after i did so-iui.. hence, keep wondering shd i continue to try natural than so-iui? sigh... but had try natural for so many yrs (my boy is 7yrs) still no result and that's why go to so-iui... but never expect will result in two time mc... very tired and sian....
 
Hi Joanne:
Thursday coming... Don't assume m/c yet okay. Have a little hope. I guess doc will havethe asnwer why it happens...

Hi Lynn: oh then you only with her a while only, she was not your gynae for first m/c then? I thinking Ling might be asking if your gynae is those experienced for high risk pregnancy ones??

Eh ladies I suspect my AF is not here ler, today there is almost nothing...How can AF just last 1.5 day? ANyway if it was my AF I will have a 10 days LP only ler.
 
Joanne: between 1st one and 2nd one about a year plus. 3rd one was only about 3 months after the 2nd one.

JTML: erh. she's also the gynae for my 1st m/c. i mean same gynae throughout so far. what i meant was high risk gynae refers to?

JTML: could it be ovulation? I remember i spotted during ovulation the first time around. hormones haywire. totally freaked out and went on TCM.

now think need go back again. the hubby says i dropping hair like no tomorrow. sian
 
JTML-heh.. i dun dare to say my MIL leh.. she's been taking very gd care of me last couple of weeks, cook, clean, iron everything.. can't find a nice way to tell her not to go and do the divination thing... told hubby to tell her, but he still can't find a gd opportunity...sigh... Anyway, u take care ah... the flu been going on a few days liao?

Lynn - i think i saw some other threads in this forum abt high risk pregnancies.. maybe u can ask the ladies there which gynaes they are seeing?

Regarding discharge - die lah.. mine's pinkish brown leh.. not white.. sigh..
 
Joanne, i just walked in, and the washing is supposed to be done by the Gynae who saw me at the women's clinic, but he was too busy. Then the nurse told me that Dr TC TAN would be doing it for me and said "big doctor oh!" and he let me go home after the procedure. I had dinner in KKH, the nurse said i can go home after i passed urine. Felt cramp after the procedure but subsided after a while, nurse said it was a good sign meaning that the womb was contracting.

I also had pinkish brown discharge on the 4th 5th days dear.. i guess it's normal! after that i had lots of discharge as though i was ovulating. Now i think quite normal, like how it used to be.. this morning felt that my breasts were swollen, i hope my AF is coming.... cross my fingers.
 
Lynn,

Before I got pregnant I ald keep reading some threads about, 2 WW, high risk, miscarriage in smh because kiasi and kiasu and simply just want to be prepared. I am one of those always think of the worse.. anyway.. I read some mums go to those gynae like christopher chong from gleneagles etc I cannot remember who else and was all praise etc. So I am thinking they take care of high risk pregnancies i.e. those that are prone to miscarriage or something. Maybe those you can try and seek a 2nd opinion.

JTML, Ha I also say only.. lazy bones.. my mum got me this bottle of waist tonic last year and I drink until 2 times and give up. ho ho ho...

I not sure if my mum or mil do the lot reading but I think whether results they get I probably will laugh it off really cannot let our life kenna rule by all these "the fortune teller say" or "the temple medium say" .

ppcc dont panic.... me also pinkish brown if have any.. normal lah!!

Anyone been to chong poh TCM? I am more comfy with a female physician and was thinking to try her. Anyway this is pretty lame but my dog who is really old had a bone spur so we sent him to TCM accupunture and now he is like a puppy again after 1 session. Thus I also inspired to see TCM see if can help to build up our health... regardless whether we need or not.
 
Hi shann
u r so lucky.. I think that explain why urs so cheap since is walk in,, anyone ever did ur dnc choosing ur preferred gynea in kk? As wonder how much for this case?
Btw, how many hr they let u rest in ward and how long is the procedure? Did kk give u any hospital leave to rest? Thk u so much for ur explanation..,
 
The procedure is very short! i woke up right after they pushed me out, the procedure took maybe half and hour only i think. Counting from the moment i said bye bye to my hubby till i reached my ward is about 1 hour. They gave me 1 week MC, and the nurse said as long as i could pass urine i could go home. if you want to claim from medisave, u need to stay in hospital for at least 8 hours, if not u gotta pay all by yourself. As we need to hit the 8 hours, i stayed in KK from 2pm to 9pm.
 


Ling: oh. my cousin in law also recommended christopher chong but like damn expensive? and i think second opinion is not gng to be cheap. I still deciding to go see genetist not.

I'm seeing dr pauline from chong poh TCM (the one at serangoon north right?). she's good. but with chinese med, really have to take awhile for it to work.
 
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