Support group - Miscarriages

jus · Jun 23, 2004

Morning ladies

Ocean,
Kekeke You are so funny!
Yup, guess really have to persevere and kwai-kwai boil and eat the herbs

Friends and hubby have been telling me not to put too much hope into the herbs
Afterall, scientifically, the odds are still the same (just like the percentage of having a boy/ girl)
I cant help but to feel hopeful
As long as theres hope, I would give it a try
But I understand where they are coming from

Folic,
Glad that your interview went well
How was your conference call?
Did you manage to catch some winks?

Joyce,
Pei fu pei fu
Can tahan until now (as in the HPK)

Yup, sometimes AF delayed due to tiredness, etc
Dont worry so much
Perhaps, you have strike!!!

Must keep us updated ok

Lindy,
So sorry to hear of your loss
I can understand your feelings
I loss mine at 16 weeks, and we were able to see the hands, legs and the babys movements
Couldnt really accept that something was wrong with the baby afterall, the baby was very active

Its normal to miss your baby
Guess we could never get over our babies
But, time does make it easier to accept

Take care!

odie · Jun 23, 2004

Hi Lindy... take care and continue to drop in.

Jus... though I can say for sure whether the herbs will help or not but I feel that it is only natural for human to turn to other avenues when something doesn't work out. So just do what makes you happy and hopeful. Anyway as the Chinese saying goes... if there is a sickness it serves as a form of treatment, if there is no sickness take it as a form of nourishment. But do monitor carefully... stop taking the Chinese herbs when you discover you are preggie.

java · Jun 23, 2004

Hi tubby,
Glad that you found your courage to post here. We are here to listen and help you with your grief. I am not sure if you are a religious person, for me, as a Christian, I believe that God has a time and place for everything. If He takes something away from us, He has a reason, perhaps He feels we are not ready, or He has something better in store for us. Many gals here can tell you that after their incident of miscarriage, we have learnt to treasure pregnancies and babies better. In June last year, my bb was taken away from me at 35 weeks. In June this year, I conceive again with a stronger mind (I hope!) and a mentality that is more family and children centred. During this period, I went travelling and did the things I couldn't do if I had a baby. I do this so that I can be very ready when another baby comes again.

Hi Lindy,
I am sorry to hear about your lost. Can I ask if you seek a second opinion on your case?

Hey folic,
you sound so sad. cheer up leh. I treat you

folic · Jun 23, 2004

Good morning gals!

Jus, the conference call went ok. Usual weekly stuff.. but found it difficult to keep awake these days... must be an age thing

Java, me no sad no sad...

just recalling my 'early grieving days'

actually, looking back, felt a bit silly but I think it was really uncontrollable at that time. Thanks for your sushi treat

so early eat ok or not huh?

Lindy, welcome to the thread... though I wish you don't need to be here. Look forward to chatting more. Take care!

folic

oceans · Jun 23, 2004

Morning Everybody!! So early can see Java treating Folic sushi!! Make me hungry!!

Lindy, glad that you are feeling better. Guess there is nothing we can do..... do take care and rest well.

Yap, Joyce, so how? When u going to test?? I feel very stressful for you leh!!!

teletubby · Jun 23, 2004

hi ladies,

thks for all ur encouraging & soothing words... i feel dat at least there's a grp of pple out there who truly understands wat i'm going thru' now...
dat i'm not so 'alone' in dis episode...

i jus hope dat my intermitent bleeding (according to gynae, i'm supposed to bleed for a few days after the wash) will stop soon... cos whenever i wake up to urinate dis few mornings & i saw red on the toilet paper, i'm constantly reminded of that morning where i had severe bleeding.. deja vu...

tiny · Jun 23, 2004

Good morning!
Tubby, Lindy, I'm glad you found the courage to post yout messages here. it's the beginning of the grieving process...don't hold back your tears, take your time to grief, and when you're ready to try again, you will be so much stronger.

Folic, a change of environment is always refreshing. Good luck!

Java, you cannot eat sushi lah!! Naughty girl!

(unless coooked ones...but ur picture got salmon sashimi...mmm...i miss it...)

Joyce, you can test already right???

Jus, actually I have no idea about Chinese herbs. I didn't take any after m/c cos basically i dunno how to cook! My mum in law only made me drink soup with lots of liver...to replace iron or something?? hee...i dunno. i just ate whatever is nice.

I remember the day before my d&c was hubby's bday so we went out for dinner...and my mum asked me to eat lamb...

tiny · Jun 23, 2004

Tubby, your bleeding/spotting should stop in about a week...and then you'll be longing to see red again! Cos when your 1st AF comes, it marks a new beginning and a closure to an unhappy episode.

But for now, do rest well and make sure you pamper yourself.

tiantian · Jun 23, 2004

Hi ladies,

I have been following this thread for a while and would like to share my painful experience too.

I had a miscarriage last month at week 9. This is my first pregnancy after 7 years of trying!!!! Although this pregnancy is a unexpected one, i.e we did not really plan for it (afterall we have more or less given up hope after 7 yrs liao )but somehow, I still feel that a part of me is gone.

My first AF after D&C came after 3 weeks and this first pregnancy give me hope to try again.

java · Jun 23, 2004

Hi Tiny,
Wah I still considered a "girl" ah? I thought I'm a woman liao. hahahah feel so flattered.

Hi Ocean, Tiny,
I also treat you

tiny · Jun 23, 2004

Dear Tiantian,
So sorry to hear about your loss. Have you seen a gynae these 7 years or were you jus trying on your own?

Like you said, since this pregnancy has given you hope to try again, do recover well, and when you're ready, we're here to support you as you ttc again.

java · Jun 23, 2004

dunno preggie can eat unagi or not?

Anyway the menu is
green tea
ebi fry
futomaki
unagi

jus · Jun 23, 2004

Hi odie and tiny,

Ya-lor
Just take the herbs as prescribed
I guess no harm afterall it is supposed to nourish my body as well

I also had my D&E a few days after my hubbys birthday

Folic,
Dont say like that-leh
Makes me feel old as well hahaha
Cos I felt that I get tired easily compared to a few years ago!
Also, I seem to have lost my guts to try those thrill rides (a few years ago, I would go for it without batting an eyelid!)
Kekeke guess I m feeling old as well

Tubby,
Yes you are not alone
You can always pen your thoughts and share them with us here
My bleeding lasted quite awhile 1+ week, and there after, on-off spottings

Dont rush yourself for a proper closure
Do give yourself time
Well be here, ok

java · Jun 23, 2004

I figured sushi without drinks can be quite thirsty, so girls choose your pick

tiny · Jun 23, 2004

Java, you very cute leh, like in your own world choosing your menu for us!!

Thank you! All look so yummy! I want Qoo...and got california handroll or not? my fav!

joycesprit · Jun 23, 2004

I will test tomorrow with my FMU if nothing goes wrong.

hard for me, please..

BabyDust to me and everybody who are TTC-ing..

oceans · Jun 23, 2004

Java, goosh, i felt like poping into my mouth your sushi!!

Drinks no 2, 4 and 5, what favour are they? Look very small leh!! Drinks 2 look like Coffee!! Ooooo... i missed coffee u noe. Had not been drinking since M/C till now!! Unagi is the prawn right? better dun eat too much!!

Oh Tiantian, so sorry to learn about your loss! I really find it very disturbing to learn that there are so many of us having to go thru such a painful experience!

However, glad to learn that you are waiting to ttc again!

Folic, as long as you feel young and look young, then we are all still young!! kekkee..

odie · Jun 23, 2004

Tiantian... glad that you are coping well and being so positive. So when will you start to TTC again?

Drooling... so much food ^.^ v

Ocean... if I am not wrong unagi is eel. Prawn is ebi in jap. So what time is your checkup tomorrow?

teletubby · Jun 23, 2004

hi Java,
althou i am not a christian, but i do believe in Fate... guess it's jus not meant to be yet...

i felt so loss now... like a lost a focus in life.. i quited from my stressful job last yr & concentrated to become a mum... i took great care in my daily activities.. took folic acid.. daily temping & observing my CM... & finally my efforts paid off at my 5th attempts...

now everyting seems to hv shattered... i know i can try again when my body recovers, but my confidence level has plunged... really dunno how to approach my TTC attempts nix time...

guess i am hving yet another bout of negative tots again.. sorrie...

hi Tiny & jus,
guess really hv to be patient & let the bleeding stop on its own... thks for sharing... at least i know wat to expect...

teletubby · Jun 23, 2004

Ocean,

tok to ur bb tonite... it will boost ur confidence level before seeing ur gynae... *hugz*

odie · Jun 23, 2004

Hey Tubby.... when I had my miscarriage I felt lost and empty as well... didn't want to do anything except staring into space. But rest assured that after a while... somehow life will be back to normal. You will still think about it every now and then but by then I am sure you will find the purpose in life again.

Not forgetting... the confidence will be back as well... in fact you will have more confidence than before that you will make an even better mummy because you know how precious that little life is. Maybe as human when we lose something we will feel the importance. Most women who have gone through miscarriage will walk out of this episode with a new perspective. We see life and babies as something precious and cannot be taken for granted.

java · Jun 23, 2004

Hi Tiny,
Here is your order. The california handroll is not the wrap kind, but taste the same. Which flavour of Qoo u want?

Hi Ocean,
Here is your coffee. See but cannot drink. hehehe

java · Jun 23, 2004

Tiny, menu for Qoo: Apple, Orange, peach and grape

Ocean, Cafe Latte, Cafe Espresso, Cafe Mocha, Cafe Cappucino

Reminds me of last time when I was a kid, love to play masak masak

millie · Jun 23, 2004

hi tubby, lindy and tiantian, 'welcome' to the thread. so sorry to see that the 3 of u hv to suffer the pains of m/c. as the gals mentioned, coming to this thread has helped in my healing process. the initial days after the m/c will be a difficult period with the feeling of lost and sadness and even anger. time does help in lessening the feelings. we will forever remember the babies we cld not hv but we will find the strength to carry on with life and be positive abt the future. rest well now and look forward.

dear ocean and tiny, i not as strong as u think i am. but i think i learnt to accept my fate. got to be positive and pray hard tt i will hv a healthy one the next time.

my bd coming....i wish tt i can still be blessed with a child and hv a son/ daughter to celebrate my bd with next yr.

jus, what herbs r u taking? my chinese sinseh gv me medicine but it's already in pill form. like u, i choose to believe tt it'll help. if there's a chance/ a way, no harm giving it a try.

java, how r u?

thks for ur treats...hee....how abt some desserts?

joyce, u amaze me!!!! if i were u, i think i wld hv tested countless times liao. do hope u'll hv gd news to share with us.

curly, snuffles and baby mandy....where r u? busy?

folic · Jun 23, 2004

Java ah! you are so funny.. are you cooking real food tonite?

I am in a long meeting again. This time, I spent the time monitoring the coe bidding result.

We decided to upgrade our car to the new hyundai tucson. It is like SUV which looks a bit like RAV4 or Lexus 300. I currently drive a Elantra and after trading in, I don't need to come out with cash and the monthly payment is a only slightly higher.. so decided to buy the 2000cc one

Hope it will not burn a hole in my pocket for petrol!

Joyce, good luck with your testing tomorrow. I will login early early to see your posting ok?

folic

odie · Jun 23, 2004

Millie... when is your bday? Mine is just round the corner too... and needless to say the pressie I want is this year is you know what lah... muwhahahahha

Told my hubby liao so he betta co-operate if not I will have to ngiak ngiak ngiak *evil grin*

oceans · Jun 23, 2004

Odie, i think u r right! Unagi is eel. Hmm... nice nice!!

Odie, my appt is tml morning at 10am. There is a conselling session on the triple test, i think, together with the scan!!

Hopefully everything will be alright!!

Tubby, it is hard to ask you not to think too much and just take care of yourself. Because no matter how, you will still think of it. I felt that way and cant bear to look at preggie!

Afterall, the baby had became part of our life during those short and sweet moments! But still, life goes on....

Maybe now, you just concentrate on waiting for your bleeding to stop. For me, it took about 1wk followed by some spotting. Soon after, you would be feeling anxiously waiting for your 1st AF. Think many of us feel this way. In the meantime, must really really stress/highlight is Take care of yourself, rest more

and eat more "bu" things

Joyce,

Good Luck!! Hope to hear some gd news from u tml!

millie · Jun 23, 2004

ocean, giving out homework again?

me got lots of work to do but no mood leh. came in to check postings again. gd luck to u tomorrow for ur checkup. all will be fine. don't worry!

joyce, u testing tomorrow? blur me...still thought u testing on sun! gd luck gd luck gd luck!!!!

odie, i'm a mid july baby. hitting 29. u? well, happy advance bd to u! gd luck to both of us on our wishes!

and yup...going to take my hubby by force if need to. hee....

but 1st, wait for my beloved AF.

folic, is the tucson like santa fe? me quite hopeless with cars but i remember hyundai santa fe as i saw it on the street and asked my hubby what car it was. it really captured my attention!

odie · Jun 23, 2004

Ocean... no worries... just come by tomorrow after the checkup and keep us updated.... let us gian a bit

Millie... mine is on 9 Jul and going 27 this year. Wishing you an advance happy birthday as well. So when is your AF due?

folic · Jun 23, 2004

Hi millie,

I also no mood to work

Yah, Tuscon is like the small brother of Sante Fe. You can see it at http://www.hyundaitucson.com. The model you see on the site is the bigger engine capacity one but the look and feel is exactly the same.

folic

oceans · Jun 23, 2004

Millie and Folic, me too... No mood to work!! So came in to check postings too!!

Aiyaa.... Millie, me last time ambition was to be a teacher, then scared bully by students, decided better not..... Since hubby dont like me to nag at it, i nag at u gals lor!!

Good lah, in the mist of your busy workin schedule, mus learn to relax...

Millie, so u r also born in the year of Rabbit? Me too!!

Odie, u still so young!!

So nice, jus 27 only!!! I wish that u and Millie birthday

wishes will come true!

oceans · Jun 23, 2004

Oh Java, ur coffee very tempting leh!!

Goosh, i am one person who must always drink one coffee per day. Now, u still tempt me!! Noti noti gal!!

joycesprit · Jun 23, 2004

I'm into anxiety now.. dunno why.. maybe I really don't have much hope for the test tomorrow. My temperature for this few days was a bit high... about 37.0 - 37.4... perhaps due to nervous,

weather or what...
What I'm worried

about was, maybe my AF didn't arrived was because of the tiredness or stress.
However, I will keep you gals posted

tiny · Jun 23, 2004

Dearest Java,
Thank you!! I can almost taste the cali maki already. YUMMY! Any Qoo will do. Thanks! (I also like to play masak masak!) By the way either u or folic (can't remember) was talking abt Sushi tei the other time. I wanted to tell u that the branch at Paragon is really really good! It's different from the normal ones and they serve gourmet stuff...like steak sushi (delicious teriyaki beef sushi) and interesting stuff like the bamboo clams..i can't remember what else but it's indeed yummy. hmm...i think i shall go there this wk end!!

Millie & Odie, happy bday in advance! In case I forget later. Who knows....anything can happen! I got pregnant just after my bday this yr!

(actually my last AF came 5 days after my bday, and i was quite sad about it cos it was my last chance to get preggie before 30! But who knows, God has other plans for me) So...Don't forget to make your wishes when you blow out the candles! I will be wishing for u too.

Folic, the Tuscan is huge isn't it? Good, good...prepare for baby.

A friend just traded in his Renault Scenic for it...a lot more economical. Enjoy!

joycesprit · Jun 23, 2004

So many July babe?? Me too.. my birthday is on 3rd of July... turning 24.

tiny · Jun 23, 2004

To the baby in the thread...GOOD LUCK!! Sounds positive already leh!!!

joycesprit · Jun 23, 2004

Baby?

curly · Jun 23, 2004

Hi ladies

I'm still around.... Just not been logging in.

tubby, lindy and tiantian, it's not easy to come to term with what happened but time will heal.... Meanwhile, take good care of yourselves. Eat, rest and sleep well....

I think I'm a bit behind here.... Hope the expecting mommies are doing well and ttcing ladies have good news soon!

Today is my birthday but not a very happy one

.... Not because of the m/cs but bec I was stressed out by my boss

! I am still on mc and my colleague told me 2 days ago that my idiot boss wanted me to go back. Anyway she covered for me, so I didnt have to go back. Today I called my boss to tell him abt my m/c and he said he was sorry (but didnt mean it) and he guessed it. Then he still said "feng liang hua" that he told me not to hurry into such thing but I didnt listen to him

.... And he wanted to know what my plans are for the next 12 mths! He wants to know if I will be getting pregnant soon again when exactly I will be trying again since I can get pregnant so easily! Basically, if I'm planning very soon, then I should quit.... He's very anti pregnancy! I really wanted to quit but my hubby thinks I shouldnt let him defeat me so easily. I was so stressed that I just broke down and cry... Worse my colleague told me today that a HR colleague is eyeing for my position

..... Ok enough of my "lo so" story.

Something funny to share.... My hubby ordered me a basket of flowers and guess what? A basket of mixed chrysanthemums and carnations

!! When the guy delivered the flowers, I was like ?? Then I told my hubby that it's my birthday and not death anniversary

..... He was really

bec he didnt know.... hahaha..

lindy · Jun 23, 2004

Hi gals

Thanks for your concern & encouragement.....almost overwhelmed by the 'activities'

here. So many posting in a day....looks like i will visit here more frequent.

Oh Java, I did seek 2nd opinion....the outcome was the same. Doc had to repeat the result again...at that time, we really din want to hear it anymore.....then I did the D&C a few days
later.

May I ask you gals, how long before your 1st AF comes after the D&C. Mine is more than 4 weeks liao and it hasn't....is there something wrong?

Can't wait for AF to come.....

Joyce.....so u testing tomorrow? GOOD LUCK to you!

millie · Jun 23, 2004

curly, wat an insensitive and idiotic boss u hv!!!

i think u shld go bk and work 1st after mc. see if u can tahan ur boss and 'beat' the gal who's eyeing ur position. no harm getting paid along the way.

don't be too stressed ok. must relax and don't let ur life be gloomy because of ur idiotic boss!

happy birthday to u!!! hv not past 12 yet.

ur hubby so funny.....then again maybe the carnations is a sign! hope we will be mums or mums-to-be by next yr bd.

thks gals for the birthday wishes. tiny, happy belated birthday! by next yr, u'll hv a little one to celebrate ur bd together.

joyce, maybe u'll hv an advance bd present when u test tom.

both u and odie still so young!

ocean, think tt there's many rabbits here rt? baby mandy is also. update us on ur checkup ok.

folic, tuscon looks cool! even my hubby says so. may i ask how much is it?

lindy, my AF comes abt 1 mth after m/c. don't worry tt ur AF not here yet. some of us may take more than a mth or so. think one is jus? as long as u don't feel any pain or discomfort, just be patient ok. i understand how u feel. can't wait for AF to come. i am waiting for mine too. do come in often to chat with us.

folic · Jun 24, 2004

JOyce, got news?? I login early early to see leh!

Tiny, I was the one who went to sushi tei. I liked the paragon branch too. That day, I went to the HV branch. It seems that they are changing all their menu to be same as paragon. The car I got is Tucson (pronounced too-sorn) not the tuscani, which is a sports car. It is slightly smaller than the Sante Fe but yes, it is one of those big high high car

Millie, Yah, I like SUVs a lot but I can't afford most of the models. So when this came along, I almost decide on the spot to buy. I paid $83k for it. I paid almost the same amount for my Elantra 3 years ago! I am a Hyundai 'supporter'... this would be my third Hyundai. Usually, Hyundai cars are quite ok to drive. My hubby test drove the 2700 cc version and says it flies

The 2700cc one is $91k.

folic

odie · Jun 24, 2004

Hmmm... 27 not that young lah... Joyce is the baby here

Curly... happy belated birthday... may all your wishes come. Your boss is very insensitive to have said that to you... but just ignore him... he is not that important so his words should have no bearing

Joyce.... wishing you a happy birthday in advance as well. So what's the result?

Lindy... my first AF came 6 weeks after the D&C. Did you gynae give you an expected date?

jus · Jun 24, 2004

Morning ladies!
Wah, so many birthdays in July!

Hi curly!
Happy belated birthday!

Your boss is really insensitive!
Agreed with your hubby and millie that you should try to beat them (your boss and the other colleague)
But, do take care of your emotional well being as well
If too stressed up, forget about it
Not worth it in the long run

Hi Lindy,
My AF came about 8 weeks after my D&E
You should have seen me then
I was so worried of the delay, but the gynae told me that its normal
Dont worry so much
I guess the more you worry, the longer it takes

Hi Joyce,
How? Have you tested?
Guess we are all very kan cheong for you!!!

jus · Jun 24, 2004

Odie,
I m also 27 this year!

But birthday in Aug
Snake baby!

joycesprit · Jun 24, 2004

My result slip is out!!

I'm Pregnant!!
Kiasu huh?
My hubby was so happy that he called his family at 1:15 a.m. last nite.. and I couldn't get to sleep too till 2:30 a.m. ... heehee.
I tested the Watson brand last nite and tested ClearBlue this morning... er.... double confirm again.

folic · Jun 24, 2004

hahhahaah so good!!!Congrats Joyce!! You couldnt tahan till morning huh??

jus · Jun 24, 2004

A BIG congratulations to you, Joyce!
So happy for you

folic · Jun 24, 2004

Hi curly,

just read your post. Happy belated birthday. I think you should report your boss to HR manager! That is so sexual discrimination! Don't get too affected lah... no point getting hurt by such idiots!

folic

teletubby · Jun 24, 2004

Hi Joyce,

am veri happy for u as well... Congratz...

can imagine the SMILE on ur face when u first saw the 'double line' appearing last nite...
i let out an ecstatic scream when i saw a + sign wif Clearblue..

now must pamper urself more... *wink*

joycesprit · Jun 24, 2004

Ya lor... cannot tahan.. kekeke
So funny last nite, I failed at first attempt coz' there were little urine only and I was shivering when holding the test kit so cannot aim properly... haha...

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