Support group - Miscarriages

[sashamama]

Hi gals,
Sorry I've been MIA the past week. After my D&C last monday, I was ok til last Saturday 4am when I caught an infection (i think) and was rushed to TMC A&E after being in great pain since 12midnight. It was like contraction pains, not that I've ever given birth before, but my dh helped me count. The pain came once every 2-3mins and lasted for 20-30 seconds, in between was also painful. Cried twice, tried to bear til morning but gave up. Had 2 jabs on my butt, Dr Wong came to see me, scanned, no blood clots or anything, she suspects it's infection. Been taking antibiotics and painkillers for a week and I'm finally better now

Today is the 12th day since my D&C and I'm still bleeding, dark red-brown, is this normal? Anyone TTC immediately this cycle after D&C? Hope to get some advice

Dear Smurfy, ddtan, stephy, grace77, babythad, avocado, chellechelle, and other TTC gals reading this thread,
Let's be strong and go through these tough times together... I'm still trying to, I'm sure we'd all be successful one day and add to the encouraging list

Dear TenQ,
Do update us on your situation. Take care!

 

[sashamama]

SUCCESSFUL MUMMIES AFTER M/C(s)
--- MOTIVATION FOR MTBs ---

Nick - # of M/C - Month of Last M/C – # of Cycles (Pregnant Again) – Month of Delivery
Melissa - 5 - '06 - 1 - Sep'06
CryStaLZ - 1 - Dec'06 - 2 - Nov'07
Icy - 2 - Aug'06 - 9 - Jan'08
Manuka_Chan - 1 - Mar'07 - 1 - Jan'08
L0v3 - 1 - Feb'07 - 3 - Feb'08
Patricia - 1 - May'06 - 13 - Feb'08
Angtay - 1 - Sep'06 - 9 - Mar'08
Chewwy - 1 - Oct'06 - 7 - Mar'08
Eunice72 - 1 - Feb'07 - 4 - Mar'08
Joteohl - 1 - Jul'05 - 25 - Apr'08
Leslieanne - 3 - Jun'07 - 2 - Apr'08
Oldmum - 2 - Mid'03 - 20+ - Feb'06 & Apr'08
Persona - 1 - Aug'07 - 1 - Apr'08
Piggymummy - 1 - Sep'07 - 1 - Apr'08
Corynn - 4 - Jun'07 - 2 - May'08
Kaka2606 - ? – Jun’07 – 2 – May’08
Piggymummy - ? - Sept'07 - ? - May'08
Roxy - 1 - Mar'07 - 6 - May'08
Happymama - 1 - Dec'06 - 8 - Jun'08
Happysnowflakes - 1 - Feb'07 - 6 - Jun'08
Sexyaqua - 2 - Jul'07 - 2 - Jun'08
Youpi - 1 - Jul'04 - 6 - Nov'05 & Jul'08
Divine - 3 - Mar'07 - 7 - Jul'08
Celynlee - 1 - Jul'07 - 1 - Aug'08
Mulberry - 1 - Feb'07 - 6 - Aug'08

<font color="ff0000">Please Add On To The List!!! </font>
Nick:
Number of M/Cs:
Month of Last M/C:
Pregnant after How Many Menstrual Cycles:
Month of Delivery:


15 out of 25 gals on this list conceived within 6 months after their M/C. This sure is good news

 

[bluberi]

Ling, glad to hear dat u r feeling better nw.

reality of the M/C oni sinks in 1mth aft my D&amp;C on 17jun.. i did not shed a tear since the day of D&amp;C until one fine aftn during end Jul. i tried really hard nt to tink of our bb.. but every nw n den the tots juz popped up in my mind n the tears will starts flowing. i wondering when i'll stop to. i always feel lousy n full of envy at the same time when i see preggers n also my neighbour's tummy getting bigger as the days passes..

Aileen is right, we will all fight the race together. jiayou!

 

[stephy]

sashamama,

oh dear, hope u are ok now. my first mc, the first week , i bled for a 2 days, then the following week, i bled for another 3 days.. For the 2nd mc, my bleeding has stopped today which I had . Nothing much difference compare to the first mc, juz that my backache a little more.

 

[tenq]

finally have a peace of mind. anyone who has been bleeding and HCG keeps increasing esp above 1500 and no sac in uterus 95% ectopic. most of the time it can't be obviously seen in the tubes thru ultrasound.

was lucky to eventually find a doc who is experienced enough to make the call. He is Dr Loh Foo Hoe fr women's specialist clinic at mt E. he also did not encourage injection as it is only 70% successful to remove an ectopic. what's more it's e same drug used to treat cancer.

Had e surgery last night at Mt E. Felt very assured to be operated by him n with e best equip avail there. Even though I have lost my right fallopian tube he assured me the success rate of past ectopic cases have been good. my left tube is also in good shape.

So those with miscarriage pls don't despair. At least u know ur tubes are working perfectly now just find a tcm to improve the condition of ur womb n eggs. U have a higher success rate than me with 2 tubes working.

Also pls recommend Great Eastern's SupremeHealth medishield plan to ur frens who are ttc n no prior history of pregnancy lost. It covers hospitalisation for pregnancy complications. my surgery cost me almost $10K.

 

[mickeymummy]

Sashamama,

My colleague went thru' a similar thing as you n the condition is known as Asherman Syndrone. It's a complication after M/C. This is not good coz' yr womb is still bleeding.. if not treated carefully, it can cause infertility.. n other prob which my colleague experienced.. it's not tt i want to scare u but I think u should consult a specialist and get to the bottom of yr bleeding.. anyway the condition is treatable but in early stages

 

[sashamama]

Dear Jo,

Thanks so much for your reply. I'm really very very worried now as I'm still bleeding slightly, 14 days past my D&amp;C, and having slight cramps now and then. I went to do some research on the syndrome you mentioned. This syndrome is really bad and can really cause infertility as you mentioned... Will be visiting Dr Wong very soon.

Meantime, can you please give me more info on your colleague? Why did it happen and how is she? Really infertile? Which doc did she visit? Do you know? Thanks in advance!

************************************************
From Wiki: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asherman's_syndrome

Asherman's syndrome, also called "uterine synechiae" or intrauterine adhesions, presents a condition characterized by the presence of scars within the uterine cavity.

The cavity of the uterus is lined by the endometrium. This lining is composed of two layers, the functional layer which is shed during menstruation and an underlying basal layer which is necessary for regenerating the functional layer. Trauma to the basal layer, typically after a dilation and curettage (D&amp;C) performed after a miscarriage, or delivery, or for elective abortion can lead to the development of intrauterine scars resulting in adhesions which can obliterate the cavity to varying degrees. In the extreme, the whole cavity has been scarred and occluded. Even with relatively few scars, the endometrium may fail to respond to estrogens and rests. Often, patients experience secondary menstrual irregularities characterized by changes in flow and duration of bleeding (amenorrhea, hypomenorrhea, or oligomenorrhea) [1] and becomes infertile.

According to a study on 1900 patients with Asherman’s syndrome, over 90% of the cases occurred following pregnancy-related curettage [2]. It is estimated that up to 5% of D&amp;Cs result in Asherman's.

Depending on the degree of severity, Asherman's syndrome may result in infertility, repeated miscarriages, pain from trapped blood, and high risk pregnancies [9](see Prognoses below). There is evidence that left untreated, the obstruction of menstrual flow resulting from scarring can lead to endometriosis[5].

The extent of scar formation is critical. Small scars can usually be treated with success. Extensive obliteration of the uterine cavity or fallopian tube openings (ostia) may require several surgical interventions or even be uncorrectable. In this case surrogacy, IVF or adoption may be advised.

Patients who carry a pregnancy after correction of Asherman's syndrome may have an increased risk of having abnormal placentation including placenta accreta [20]where the placenta invades the uterus more deeply, leading to complications in placental separation after delivery. Premature delivery [21], second-trimester pregnancy loss[22], and uterine rupture[23] are other reported complications.

The overall pregnancy rate after adhesiolysis was 60% and the live birth rate was 38.9% according to one study [24]. Success is related to the severity of the adhesions with 93, 78, and 57% pregnancies achieved after treatment of mild, moderate and severe adhesions, respectively and resulting in 81, 66, and 32% live birth rates, respectively [9].

 

[stephy]

After reading about the Asherman's syndrome, it is really worrying.

These few days, I have been reading up what maybe be the cause of my miscarriages. I might have luteal phase defect (LPD). I will try to montior my temperature daily to see whether I have LPD.

Now, I have another worry, whether my cervix will be strong enough to hold my next pregnancy after all I had 2 mc in 5 months. Also, infertility.

I guess my pregnancy hormone is withdrawing now, so is affecting my mood. I thought my bleeding has stopped, but it came back. Very light staining. The only thing is my back really ache alot and felt crampy too. Plus, I think I have sinus infection too. Felt feverish last nite, took synflex, better liao.
=============================================

The luteal phase of a woman’s cycle is the second half of her cycle. It begins right after ovulation and generally lasts around 12-14 days. The luteal phase is named after the corpus luteum. The corpus luteum is a yellow structure that forms after ovulation. The corpus luteum is responsible for progesterone production. Progesterone has several functions which are necessary for a healthy pregnancy. If you have a defect with your corpus luteum you may not produce enough progesterone to sustain a pregnancy.

Your doctor may recommend that you keep track of your temperature upon waking with a bbt chart. Progesterone causes a rise in temperature that is visible on a bbt chart during the second half of your cycle. Normally, you will see temperatures rise after ovulation and stay up for about 12-14 days before menstruation. You can tell how long your luteal phase is by looking at your bbt chart. If your luteal phase is shorter than ten days you may have a luteal phase defect. Some doctors may be concerned if your luteal phase is shorter than twelve days.

==============================================

 

[bubbleteahut]

Hi Sashamama,

Understand ur fears because Asherman Syndrome is much hated by any woman here. But think it cannot be proven yet that u are getting it. The most important thing for u to do now is to ensure that u are clear of your infection and do go for another checkup with ur trusted gynae soon. Ensure that your cramps are getting less and less by the days and also the bleeding eventually stops. If they do not, ask for more directions from your gynae. While it is true that infection could lead to AS but that is not the case all the time. Once ur cramps and bleeding are cleared and u start getting ur menses, monitor the amount of menses. One tell tale sign of AS is that the amount of menses is very scanty even by the 3rd or 4th actual flow after the D&amp;C. (Bear in mind that the first AF after D&amp;C is always very little). I know its hard not to worry but do what u can and stay away from seafood for this period and drink lots of water yah...all the best to u.

Hi gals, have been having problem reading this site and MIA but hope life is treating everyone better and better..

 

[smurf_ling]

Dear mummies
A few weeks have passed and things have moved onz for me (maybe things are much easier for me, coz not even a sac was seen). Tears do drop when others console me of the event. And I have choose not to participate in talks of pregnancies and childbirths.

The recent few months, I would be excited when I think i am ovulating but no more now. I kept quiet about the whole thing and if hb never initiated, it's a month loss of potential bb. But I guess it's aka "let nature takes its own course". I read some of you mummies mentioned, most of our miscarriages are due to random errors. To me, it's just like striking 4D. And in this case, I've strike twice. The first time when I'm preggie with my boy (he's a shotgun baby) and the 2nd time now. I hope I will not strike this kinda 4D again. I rather, a plain and simple life.

I hope things are moving for you all, as well.

Sahamama
Please visit your gynae soon, and listen to her diagnosis. Do seek 2nd opinion if you ain't convinced.

Tenq
I'm sorry to hear about you ectopic pregnancy. But it's really a blessing in disguise that you have found a good gynae fast enough to give you a proper diagosis and treatment. All we want are some clear answers at times.

Stephy
You have a healthy first-born. Perhaps, you shld go back to that gynae when you are ready and seek for advice on what to do/prepare next when TTC-ing again. It may be expensive but it definitely beats moRe heartache....

to the rest of the mummies..
i've read all your posts and they do pain my heart again. But there's nothing we can do. We are just the unfortunate ppl, who needs to suffer mOre in some of the matters closest to our hearts. But let's get moving and treasure those still with us (i'm sure some of you here, do start to treasure your healthy kids more after this event) and wait for the next one to come along...

 

[avocado]

Hi Sashamama,
Why not u ask for a detailed scan of ur womb?U can request ur gynae to send ur detailed vaginal scan,which tak approximately 20 to 30mins by the sonographer.The detailed scan will able to capture all the images of ur womb,etc clearer than a normal ultrasound.

 

[avocado]

Stephy
I would suggest u can request ur gynae to do a hormone test to find out if u've hormone related probs such as luteat phase defects.
The gynae will advise u to come to do a blood test after ur menses.
Technically,if u r able to conceive, u shldn't hv any prob wf ur hormone.

 

[sylvie3]

Hi,Sashamama, hope you are getting better. did your gynae say what infection? agree with avocado that you should get a detailed scan. Personally,I would recommend dr chan k h from glenE for his scanning skills and good machine but please be warned that his fees is v expensive!!! Do take care and avoid cold drinks.

 

[stephy]

avocado,
I have a feeling that I am having hormone related problems. I will check with my gynae again when i go back for review next week.

 

[sashamama]

Hi gals,

Thanks so much for your prompt support and advice! I visited Dr Wong from TMC today and she scanned for me. There're 2 small blood clots still in my uterus: 4mm and 6mm respectively. These are the small blood clots that are causing my bleed. The clots are so small that I definitely do not need a 2nd wash... Eventually, the bleeding should clear. As for Asherman's, the doc reassured me against that, unless I feel menstrual cramps the next month and there're no menses and a scan shows the menses can't come out of my uterus as the opening is stuck due to Asherman's. My cramps are very very faint and I do have some backache too. Anyone knows if we can go for massage 2 weeks after D&amp;C? Foot reflexology plus back massage can? Been feeling sore without my regular massage the past 2-3 months! For my condition, I'd monitor closely and update you gals too

It's great to have such a supportive and informative network here!

Hi TenQ,
Am sorry to hear about your situation. I do applaud your strength and helpfulness in warning all the other gals about this and recommending us your trusted gynae. it must be not easy for you to go through this, with the physical pains, emotional loss and a $10k expenditure even! Do continue to be strong and come in here whenever you need anything!

Dear Smurfy,
Glad you're on the journey to move on, same as me, I do tear now and then, but I stop very fast and think other things instead of dwell on my loss. Yet, I guess I'd be dropping a tear or two every Wednesday, as it was on a Wednesday that I was tested positive. Every Wednesday, I'd be counting, if I were pregnant, I'd be X weeks now... Sigh... I really hope my menses will come soon next month and I'd wanna try again... If my AF reports late, I'd test on a Wednesday...

Dear Stephy,
Keep us updated, ya? All the best!

Here's wishing all you gals here successful conception and delivery

 

[tenq]

Sashamama, hope your condition clears up soon. I think for all of us, we just want this episode closed for good so that we can move on. So can understand how you feel being tortured by this ongoing bleeding. Since doc has seen you, don't have to worry so much and continue to take care of your health!

Tomorrow I'm going for follow-up consultation with Dr Loh. Have many questions for him! Will help you ask if can go for massage after D&amp;C. haha.

 

[sunshine012]

Hi ladies,

I would like to try TCM.. where can I go?? Any recommendation?. I've not tried TCM and so dun know where to start. I did my DnC in end march but till now I still feel that my body is not completely tuned.
After my dnc, I've been having brown mucus discharge during ovulation every mid-cycle and my period lasts longer( comes back again after two clear days).
After having a bleeding/spotting pregnancy ( successfully delivered) and one miscarriage... I'm really hesitant to try again..especially with this monthly mid-cycle spotting. Really no confidence.

 

[tenq]

bride, at least u bleeding/spotting pregnancy result in successful delivery, mine is bleeding/spotting pregnancy result in removal of right fallopian tube! So, fight on man!

I also have a fren who has brown discharge during menses and her menses is like twice a month one. Doc says it's hormonal changes so put her on some hormone pills. After a few months she stop the pills, menses back to normal liao.

You didn't go back to check with your gynae?

As for TCM ah... where do you stay? I went to one at Serangoon North. If you stay nearby, I can check out the address for you.

 

[sylvie3]

Hi,Sashamama,good to hear that you would recover soon. Pls dun drink anything with alcohol which I heard can cause more bleeding. Btw, I've used a jamu massage lady and she is v friendly with good hands. Perhaps I can pm you. But I only used her after my 1st menses after dnc.

Hi, bride,I am seeing a TCM sinseh recommended by one of this forum sisters. She is Ms Wu Liping
New Century TCMS Healthcare Clinic
Blk 408 Ang Mo Kio Ave 10
#01-789
S 560408
Tel 6456 0789
Wed 9.30am - 8pm Sun 9.30am - 5pm
She has another clinic at Jurong East St 24.

I'd been seeing her regularly and felt improvement in my health, like no horrible migraines before menses. Perhaps you can give her a try.

 

[xbliss]

SUCCESSFUL MUMMIES AFTER M/C(s)
--- MOTIVATION FOR MTBs ---

Nick - # of M/C - Month of Last M/C – # of Cycles (Pregnant Again) – Month of Delivery
Melissa - 5 - '06 - 1 - Sep'06
CryStaLZ - 1 - Dec'06 - 2 - Nov'07
Icy - 2 - Aug'06 - 9 - Jan'08
Manuka_Chan - 1 - Mar'07 - 1 - Jan'08
L0v3 - 1 - Feb'07 - 3 - Feb'08
Patricia - 1 - May'06 - 13 - Feb'08
Angtay - 1 - Sep'06 - 9 - Mar'08
Chewwy - 1 - Oct'06 - 7 - Mar'08
Eunice72 - 1 - Feb'07 - 4 - Mar'08
Joteohl - 1 - Jul'05 - 25 - Apr'08
Leslieanne - 3 - Jun'07 - 2 - Apr'08
Oldmum - 2 - Mid'03 - 20+ - Feb'06 &amp; Apr'08
Persona - 1 - Aug'07 - 1 - Apr'08
Piggymummy - 1 - Sep'07 - 1 - Apr'08
Corynn - 4 - Jun'07 - 2 - May'08
Kaka2606 - ? – Jun’07 – 2 – May’08
Piggymummy - ? - Sept'07 - ? - May'08
Roxy - 1 - Mar'07 - 6 - May'08
Happymama - 1 - Dec'06 - 8 - Jun'08
Happysnowflakes - 1 - Feb'07 - 6 - Jun'08
Sexyaqua - 2 - Jul'07 - 2 - Jun'08
Youpi - 1 - Jul'04 - 6 - Nov'05 &amp; Jul'08
Divine - 3 - Mar'07 - 7 - Jul'08
Celynlee - 1 - Jul'07 - 1 - Aug'08
Mulberry - 1 - Feb'07 - 6 - Aug'08
xbliss - 1 - Dec 06 - 4 - Oct 07

 

[xbliss]

i used to see eu yan sang tcm during my complicated pregnancy. recommend tiong bahru branch.

 

[grace77]

Sashamama - good to hear you are ok, rest well okie

ladies - can check with your, especially those with 2 MC... do your experience weight loss? i realised i lost some weight from the first MC, and the 2nd MC caused me to lose more. not that i am not eating well, i still eat normal meals and snacks here n there but seems that i am still dropping in weight. think i have lost 4kg in this last 6 months. is it normal?

 

[funne]

may i chk anyone here conceived immediately (1 or 2 cycles) after d/c?

 

[avocado]

hi ladies,
chk out this website abt fertility diet:
http://www.asiaone.com/Health/Women%2527s+Matters/Story/A1Story20071101-33575.html

 

[avocado]

Aileen,
i didn't experience weight loss after mc.My weight back to normal,but i don't hv appetite.Nw,I am taking TCM n multivitamin n appetite gets beta.

Is it bcoz of exercise or stress?Drastic weight loss can be oso due to thyroid disorder.Do monitor....

 

[stephy]

Aileen,
I didnt really lose weight for the 1st mc, but before my 2nd mc, I was losing weight when I was still pregnant... next week, will be my review, shall find out if i have lost further.

 

[grace77]

Avocado / Stephy - thanks for replying.i stil am not back to pre pregnancy weight but then becos it was more obvious these 6 months thus my colics asked, especially those who did not know what i went through.Stephy, like you i lost weight during pregnancy wf #2 cos i had no appetite. so from then, it was losing it all the way. i suppose going thru DnC is really harmful which is causing the weight loss. Avocado, will monitor the weight and hope it does not drop anymore. well, i do think stress plays a part too cos of work n the MCs..i lose weight easily when im stressed. HB says he will help to pump me up again :S

 

[pj_lam]

Hi Aileen,
I think for your case,it may be stress.
To answer your ques,I did not lose weight after 2MCs. In fact,i put on weight,cos i told myself so many things cannot eat during pregnancy so now must eat to my heart's content,so the weight gain is the result lor.
Of course,the decree to avoid gym for 2mths after the MCs is handed out by HB so have to obey lor=this also contribute to wt gain.

 

[gannk]

Hi all,

I need an advise. I have an MC last year, although it is coming to a year but i have not really face the fact and still feel very sad when i see frens who are preggy or playing with their children etc. One of my fren will be having her full month party on the day when i have my D/C last year. I dont feel like going at all, but she is a very close fren.

what excuses should i give? some of my fren believe i am over with this but the fact is i am just avoiding this topic now.

 

[stephy]

sunflower,

I wasn't comfortable going to parties too. I will try to avoid as much as possible. I didn't give any excuse, just tell them I can't attend. I guess as a close friend, she will understand. Maybe you would like to explain to her when u are ready.

 

[pj_lam]

Yeah i agree with Stephy,
The more so that she is a close fren..either tell her the truth or just say you cannot make it and explain it at a later date.

Sunflower,are you feeling pai seh that you are not over it yet?If you are..dun be ok? We all take time,some longer some shorter time to get over our MC,it is a loss we have to learn to let go.

I was just like you til i told myself,the more i cannot stand lookin at preggy women or frens who are playing with their children=sadness=bad for my health=not good for future ttc

So i learnt to say a prayer whenever i see these grp of ladies and also ask that i will like them in time to come.

 

[vallance]

hello all.. i have just DNC last month.. my menses have finally cleared.. i will like to know if it is safe to try again this month or next month? my mum keep telling me i must 'pu' my womb back first..

 

[stephy]

I juz got a call from my gynae's office, the nurse told me that my fetal chromosomes test result is out, showing that the fetus is abnormal. This news is not making me any better to be frank. In fact, it worries me even more, really don't know what will be the fate of my future pregnancy.

 

[pinkpixel]

Hi Stephy,
My situation is the same as yours. Extra chromosome in the fetus. Apparently its a random accident. Although I know that its was not caused by something which I have ate or done, but yet at the same time cannot stop worrying if it will happen a 3rd time.

Hi Ladies,
My 4th AF cycle just reported 2 days ago...so not successful in TTC last month. Any idea what is the average cycle it takes to conceive after a D&amp;C? I only started after my 2nd AF cycle.

 

[stephy]

pinkpixel,

not too sure what is the average time to get pregnant after d&amp;c. For me, I got pregnant after my 3rd AF. Also, I heard after d&amp;c, it will be much easier to get pregnant.

 

[jollycow]

stephy,
Don't get discourage!! Jia you! try to relax and don't stress yourself ok..Miracle does happen! Especially when you least expect it.

 

[grace77]

Stephy - i guess any result from the testing wont make us any better in any way. just when friends and relative have been asking when #2 is coming and why im taking so long, i cant help wanting to scream at them: i got pregnant! BUT i lost it ok! of cos i din...well... i suppose my wound is still raw and i do not need any reminders for #2.just feeling damn sore when i see pregnant ladies and colics especially... sigh. guess we just got to really move on move on.. if we could act according to our words.

Pink pixel - for me, i got pregnant the 2nf AF after the D&amp;C ( first try ) but i seriously dun wish to strike if its meant to be a loss. perhaps your body is not ready and thus taking a bit longer. do not lose hope, im sure once ur body is ready, good news will come soon

all the best!

sunflower - i understand what you mean. but i think its time we stop escaping and face up to it. it willbe a good time for you to let go of the loss by attending the party. just got to bear in mind, your turn will come, its just that time is not right yet. i know its hard but like i said, we got to move on. especially fr our loved ones like HB, they need to know we are fine too * hugz *

 

[funne]

me too ppl around me keep asking when to have 2nd one esp with the new maternity package.
i was not ready to tell them until recently i told them: yes, i had m/c! i hate they giv me tt kind of look.. but at least they mouth keep shut after tt!

 

[gannk]

i wish i can explain more, but from the date of MC till now, No one not even my family know exactly what i went thru. it is like tell them will only make them worried, and they cant do much too and there is this look on them like Opps! kind.

As time goes by, i am back to my old self, thus everyone thought i am fine. But there are parties which i will avoid. And most of the parties i am able to avoid very gracefully.

But for this friend, sigh i dont know what i should said. Because i estimate the date of her baby one month birthday is around the date i went for the operation. And the worse thing is that date is also my sister wedding which i have to attend.

Actually life still goes on ! Just that there are period when i just want to be left alone as i also worried i will said the wrong things so i might as well shut up.

 

[bubbleteahut]

Hi Sunflower..

At least its good that u r being very honest with urself that u might be emotionally affected if u go for such parties. My two cts worth is just follow ur heart. If u don't feel like going, then don't have to go. But go if u feel like u will truly enjoy urself there. Otherwise, its perfectly understandable to avoid. Also, if this friend is the understanding sort, its better to be honest and graciously tell her the truth that that day is the day ur bb left u and u would like to spend some time alone. U will be surpised that sometimes, such honesty will not damage any friendship but instead strengthens it. All the best to u and hope you can find peace at a pace that u feel is comfortable for urself..

Hi Aileen,

Yeah, agree with PJ that ur losing wt might be stress related..but I guess as long as ur BMI is still within the normal range of 18.5 to 24, its ok...!

 

[mickeymummy]

Hi sashamama,

Sorry for the late reply.. glad to hear that u r ok.. Must definitely build up your health..
As for my colleague, she din elaborate on the details but she was always bleeding and fainting for no reason.. until she went for a specialist, i think it's Dr Ann Tan.. She had 2 miscarriages in 3 months and she had a D&amp;E which did not manage to "clean" her womb entirely, causing the later infection. Now she is infertile coz' she delayed treatment 4 some time.. anyway she's quite stubborn n everytime we "nag" her to see a gynae, she always insist it's normal bleeding

 

[mickeymummy]

Hi sunflower,

I really have to agree with wat u said.. it was wat I felt then.. I think it took me a month to have dinner with my parents and a bit more to meet up with my close friends..
I agree with bubbleteahut.. u should tell yr fren but it's up to u when u r ready..
For me, I find it a release to tell my frens wat I went thru'.. the irony was they cried for me when I finished my story n I was there, comforting them! I guessed I knew I could move on then.. though I still think of my lost bb now and then.. Sigh.. I cannot turn back time, i have to move on..

 

[tenq]

Jo, same here! I told a close fren I had an ectopic and she looked like she was going to cry. I even had to comfort her to tell her I'm fine.

I told my close frens, not so close frens, some colleagues and relatives. They are very supportive and they will keep me company when I ask for it. We'd just chat or talk about other stuff. I think it helps me to move on.

But when it's night time... my mind starts to wonder. It's the worst at night on a weekend when I think about what I could be doing if I had a kid. There's so much more to do. Even watching TV doesn't help.

 

[pinkpixel]

Hi Sisters,
It is one of those days where I feel super "sian", sick and tired of all the gynae &amp; TCM visits, taking morning temperature, monitoring for ovulation etc. I cannot help but wonder, why go through the pain of all this? Even if I am successful in getting pregnant, there is no gurantee that I will not m/c. Sigh....anyone feeling the same way ?

 

[sashamama]

Dear Gals,
Thanks for your well wishes. I'm better now, bleeding has cleared after 2.5 weeks since my D&amp;C

I'm ok everyday, but still not quite able to sleep though... Today should have been the first day of my 12th week, supposedly the end of my 1st trimester. I suppose I would only stop counting when I'm preggie again... Wednesdays are painful for me now as I tested positive on a Wednesday and count the weeks every Wednesday. My best friends asked to meet me tmr, 3.5 weeks after my D&amp;C but i turned them down. I'm still not ready, been only spending time at home with dh accompanying me everyday since before &amp; after my D&amp;C. Luckily he runs his own business, timing flexible...

I'm a teacher, school is starting next week, really dread going back and facing so many people who're gonna ask why i was away for so long (i took 2 weeks MC before my D&amp;C due to spotting then another 3 weeks after D&amp;C to rest). I'm just gonna say i had an operation for women's problem, which is partially true Anyway, it's believable as I had 2 operations before for endometriosis. My gynae says endo has nothing to do with my M/C though. Whatever the case, I'm really hoping to conceive soon...

Dear Ximi,
How are you now? Managed to skip that gathering?

Dear Vallance,
It is good to 'bu' your body back first. For me, I hope to try the next month when my first menses comes... If it's meant to be, it's meant to be

Dear Funne &amp; Pinkpixel,
According to the list I compiled as above, there are a number of gals who successfully delivered after conceiving just 1-2 cycles after the D&amp;C, though some would advise against that

More than half conceived within 6 months after the D&amp;C and successfully delivered

Dear Pinkpixel,
I'm trying to be optimistic still, I just have to be... Although there's no guarantee that i will not M/C again, I know I will try again even if I M/C again, so the key phrase is to keep trying... It's tough for the next few months, but having a bb will be affect my life for the next 20-40 years (if i live that long ), so hang in there these months, dear!

 

[bubbleteahut]

Hi Sashamama,

Glad to hear u ur bleeding's clear. Don't worry about going back to work. I realised most of the time its more scary to think about it and when u are really physically back to work and facing ur cols, u will find it much easier to than u ever imagine and that first day will just pass by very fast. When there are pple who ask you, like what u say, tell them politely but assertively that u were away for a op for woman's prob and say u r much better now and thanks them for their concern. With that, don't think they will keep asking unless they are very kpo..

Hi dear Pinkpixel, its indeed a tough journey and its human to sometimes experience feelings of despair but we are all here to give and receive support to one another. On the bad days, maybe can buy something nice to reward urself for all the hardwork. Take a rest if u want but don't give up k..

 

[stephy]

Hi gals,

Went back to my gynae for a review, he told me from my fetal chromosomes report, I had trisomy 22, which means an extra chromosome on 22nd chromosome. It is rare and usually, it will self abort. Also, it could has been a gal. After knowing, I felt kind of sad because I wanted a gal too. Beside that, he said I recovered well, and my ovaries look healthy. I had dropped another kg within 2 weeks. In total, I have lost 3 kg for this mc.

My gynae told me to ttc again after 1 - 2 AF, and advised me not to wait for too long as my age is catching up. Even the sinseh that I am seeing, also, told me to try next month. Frankly speaking, I am super motivated.

But back home, my mom and few of my close friends, were telling me that I shd give my body a rest, at least a 6 months break.

For my husband, he stays neutral. He has been supportive and understanding.

Meanwhile, I juz have to wait for my 1st AF to come first. How I wish I can juz have a normal and successful pregnancy.

Baby dust to everyone !!!!

 

[pinkpixel]

Dear Sashamama &amp; Bubbleteahut,
Thk u for your kind words....it was just one of those days. I will still try again, in fact, will have to start tomorrow.

Sashamama,
Don't worry about going back to work. I was also away for many weeks and was worried about going back to work, but it turn out to be easier than I expected.

Had a chit chat session with a girl friend today. We chat about the possiblity of adoption. Any sisters here have that thought too? Care to share?

 

[chris_tpc]

Hi all mummies,
I am pretty new 2 such forum stuffs but after reading e sharing topics, i realli have e urge/ courage to join in the chat! I was reading all the post in "Matter of heart-Miscarriage" and feel so "supported"! I decided 2 join in the forum and share my experience.......
I got married this year and found that i am expecting shortly after my wedding! WE were so excited as we always wanted to b young parents. Unfortunately in may 08 when we went 4 e scan, doctor say that our bb wasnt growing! This hurts! E first scan, we were able 2 detect hearbeat and just 2 weeks later it was gone! We visited a lady gynae in RH (reco by my elder sis)and I found this lady gynae super unprofessional after i was referred to Dr Paul Tseng in TMC!!
My first visit to RH was "wow", everything seem so in order and hospital is nice.. When i consulted her, she did a scan through my vaginalto detect the heartbeat of my bb and confirm that i was about 4 weeks pregnant, as usual the folic pills and ask for my return after 2 weeks. During these 2 weeks i do experience some cramp and i tot it was normal coz of the growth ur uterus as i do not have any bleed or spotting. I return to her 2 weeks later and through e scan she detect tat my bb do not have any heartbeat! She say this 2 mi while i am doing e scan, " hmm.. bb dun have heartbeat, oh.. bb no more" I was damn shocked! WE ask again.. then she say "hmm.. no heartbeat" then ask her nurse 2 ask another female doctor 2 come in. So both doctors confirm that my bb was no growing, no heartbeat. My heart bleed.. WE were damn upset.. WE asked why and she simply reply mi "sometimes it happen coz the combination of DNA might be wrong, it does happen, mayb is god's will 2 take away e bb" I was already too upset 2 ask further so my hubby ask then what should we do. She replied we have to either wait 4 it to bleed out naturally or wash away. I decided 2 juz wash away and she arrange 4 it. Initally i tot it was normal as she might not know how 2 console me.. or probably she might feel is normal as is was my first miscarriage. Good enuff she say "no worry try again and come back 2 me 4 ur next pregancy"
Frankly i was damnn sad that i burst out in tears throughout our conversation. My ears was deaf and the only thing i know is my heart hurts!! Is so painful!! During the day surgery, we didnt communicate much as well she just reassure mi that things will be fine and the surgery will not affect my next pregancy. She also ask mi 2 return 2 weeks later 4 a check. At that moment everything comes to an end! I try not 2 think too much but is reali tough! I told my hubby i reali hope to concieve again so as to bury our sorrows. Also she encourage us 2 try again after 2 menses cycle.. True enuff, she was doing the norm as a gynae..

 

[chris_tpc]

Continue...
After the sad news, in july, i missed my menses and i was reali exicted over it. I have e "feeling" of getting pregant again. This time round, we waited 4 2 weeks after my last menses and i source around 4 other "better" gynae. My colleague, who is an engineer prevoiusly intro me 2 Dr Paul. I do trust him as u know engineers are quite a detail person so WE decided 2 go 2 Dr Paul. Initally i tot a femlae gynae will be gd however after all the tots male gynae seems more patient. (i dont dare 2 say all but some, also there are gd female gynae around too.. self preference oki..) First impression on dr paul quite ok.. pleasant looking. confident doctor.. He has a totally different style. On our first visit, he does a normal scan and we only detect the pregancy sac. He mentioned that is normal not 2 see anything at tihs point of time and is not necessary 2 scan through vaginal. Hmm.. i do respect his view and we let natural takes it course (WE wanted 2 do it another way as compare 2 the previous) so as usual we have folic acid and advise 2 be back again 2 weeks later. Okie.. 2 weeks passed and we are back to Dr Paul.. This time round, we does the normal abdominal scan again and no signs, no growth AGAIN. Horrible feeling pours out again! But i was treated differently by Dr Paul. He was so calm and said nothing while scanning. Only after that when we sat down, he say "my feelings about e pregancy was negative but to confirm i would like 2 do a blood test". Then i understand e blood test is 2 test for e pregancy hormones in expectings mothers and these should be increasing rapidly or doubling up throughout e pregancy. So immediately we did a blood test and come back 2 days later 4 another test then see Dr Paul on e same day. Before we leave, he still encourage us by saying that if the blood test shows an increasing sign, pregancy is postive so continue e supplemenation. He is so confident in every diagnosis he made! I feel very confortable with him, my hubby too. Finally the day arrive, we went back 4 e test and result shows tat our my hormones are decreasing. Ok so confirm another miscarriage again! Two sad news in 6 months time! I almost couldnt take it! Before we leave, he told us to continue trying and ressure us such things are not common but it does happen and he do have patients after 3 or 4 times, pregancy is normal again. He also advise once we have e our next pregancy, come 2 him asap and he will give us sone supplementation 2 support e pregancy. "Wow" this is so encouraging/ assuring!
Also to compare both surgery i done in RH and TMC, RH environment is confirm better and i spend about close to $3k just for e surgery. In TMC total cost was $1.5. Such hugh difference.
Both doctors was different too, in RH, e gynae came about 30mins after e nurse called for her but Paul came in 5 min after i was awake. Paul checked on me again and ask me to fix appointment 2 weeks later.
I realli feel so terrible after 2 miscarriage, but i will continue 2 try.. Bless me..