Support group - Miscarriages

Charis - aiyo 1 mth.... me sian of the food after 2 wks.... bargained with my mom to let me off after 3 wks......

Hey what is AF? My gynae gave me Augmentin upon discharge to help remove or combat any infection left inside...

Malay massage woman said my womb is clean now and can even start to try again?!
 


Hi volf..

Haha..i was off confinement food after 2 weeks..I even bathe with lemongrass! Cant tahan too..But ok lah, cos my MIL can cook well although its confinement food..she's makes them tasty n a diff dish each time.

Volf..how many weeks after yr m/c now? Anyway those massage ladies are usually very experienced..But if in doubt check w gynae.
 
Aghhh...My bleeding starting to pick up alrd..I called gynae..He said rest & monitor cos it mayb quite heavy with bad cramps, if too much activity may feel faint..

So here i am at home, alone, with my dog, hubby go to church himself today..I think most of u r out today..nobody's here leh..hmm?
 
hi ladies,
can i ask if it's normal to have very little bleeding after the D&C? This evening, Im starting to feel mense-like cramps, could it be mense coming?
 
hi thewife,
after my D&C, i haf bleeding for abt 2 daes (including the day itself) den aft tat the bleeding was not very heavy liao.....at the pt of time when u bleed, will haf slight pain (on and off)...some says tat itz due to the after effect.....dun tink itz menses leh.....heard of a gal whose mense comes 2.5wks later (this is the earliest)...mine came 3wks+ aft D&C.......maybe u wan to monitor n see how first....

charis,
tat's gd.....AF comes liao......i haf cramp too for the 1st 2 daes....itz normal but den i din medicate...i "lun" lor....but nt very severe....
 
Hi thewife...

It shouldnt be menses..Its more likely the womb is shrinking back to size..Also cos there mayb still be blood, thats why the uterus muscles are contracting to expel the blood.

Yr first menses should not come until 4-7weeks later.
 
HI d-woof & Charis,
got it! my mense has always been irregular, i really hope it comes 4 weeks later. sometimes i wonder if mense can be regulated after m/c...if not, i have to start taking hormone pills to induce again...sigh.
Im going back to work tomorrow, otherwise i will be bored to death.
 
Ya..thewife take it slow..with work..u r still recovering.

Dont worry about yr menses...anywhere between 4-7weeks is normal anyway..It should regulate after 2-3 cycles..tat's why shouldnt try again till 2-3months later.
 
Hi d-woof and charis,
i cannot stay at home for too many days, firstly will be bored. secondly my MIL sure thinks that how come i need to rest for so many days for such small case. she said she had abortion before, it's nothing. so i will feel paiseh also. but she was very nice to cook fish, make pig intestine soup and chicken soup for me these few days. I'm really thankful.
today my frens visited me and i played with their kids. just now felt a bit cramp, and started bleeding a little more. hope its normal.
 
Hi thewife,
Take it slowly hor... don't overstress yourself...When u walked too much or do something intense... you tend to bleed again... I experienced that too, I went out for a walk after dinner and when I returned home... realised that I bleed again... so if possible, minimum as much walking as possible, let your body rest as much as possible...
 
Charis - tx for info. Am into 3rd wk after m/c. Bleeding stopped over the wkend already...

Hey - any of you gals's pelvic increased in width during pregnancy? I tried wearing my jeans yesterday and found I cldnt zip up at the pelvis area...think my pelvis expanded..dunno if can shrink back....
 
Hi volf..Wat u mean bleeding stop? Were u bleeding up to now from 3 weeks ago? R u talking about yr 1st period?

Well, i think pelvis sure increase/expand to accomodate the extra weight from baby & make room for birth...but can shrink back by itself as lose the extra mass/weight, & mayb with exercise.

As for me, i put on 2 sixes only 1st tri..from jeans size 24 to 26...haha..For top, i only put on at the boobs! Want to lose it back..cos i lost weight b4, a few sixes..so i think if u once did u can do it again..BUt i''ll keep the boobs..actually like my new more curvy figure..was a bit too skinny b4. Dont worry volf, can shrink back, but mayb exercise will give it a boost.

Hi thewife..well abortion or m/c, u still need rest..cos yr body went thru a trauma..emotionlly u need some time too. Nobody can tell u when u shld stop grieving or resting..its up to u..U know yrself best...how much time u need. BUT, i guess some ppl grieve & adjust differently, they want to forget & go back to work..life return as normal..I guess for me, I can take as much time as I want since Im not working..BUT, i didnt take on any project in church till i recovered..i took 3 weeks..I didnt really want to talk to others also, except one close friend. But now im going back to my freelance work, Im ready.
 
Volf,
good that your bledding is stopping soon, it's norm, your AF will come after 1 or 2 weeks
happy.gif

anyway you are suppose to go back ur gynae after 6 weeks,ya...my hip expand too, it's norm, now exercising n hope it will go back,hehe
 
Hi val & Volf..

But was jus wondering, for volf, if she was bleeding for 3 weeks still after m/c, it seems not very normal..Anyway, volf..im not too sure abt yr condition cos u didnt really in detail describe..U go on this website, it is very useful..www.pregnancyloss.info

BTW, ladies..how is yr 1st AF like? Mine was heavy flow for 2days, Sat & Sun, today seem to taper down already..almost consider spotting only..I hope its normal..But i hear periods after m/c may not look like our normals, but normal..cos the body takes a while to regulate back our cycles.
 
Hi puppy2006,
i was playing and carrying my friends' kids....must be that.
I had bad cramps last nite, couldnt sleep, frustrated and cried a bit cos dun know what's wrong. I prayed and touched my tummy, then the cramps went away.
Im back to work today. actually im running business with my hubby, so it's pretty flexible for me.
 
Hi Charis - I meant that I was spotting for 2 wks ... this is my 3rd wk after m/c. No more spotting. My 1st menses hasnt arrived yet.

Ya like you, I only put on weight on my boobs...rest of the weight went to the hips and pelvic area I think.
 
Hi,

I asked my gynae about spotting before. He told me that that you should not be alarmed if you exeperience spotting all the way till your 1st AF. However, if after AF, you still experience spotting, then must see gynae.

For me, during my recovery period, I noticed that I'll feel cramps and then spotting will occur. It may be possible that your spotting stops and recurs 2 days later.
 
hi the wife, u shld rest more. better for ur lower back. heard there is a certain herbs to cook to build our lower back. maybe u can chk it out at the TCM shop.
when do u plan to start again?

hi lyn, how ru? everything ok?
 
hi cookies gal & volf..Ya i guess diff person hav diff expce. I only hav bleeding for 1 week, slight spotting on 1-2 days on 2nd week..then no more..4 weeks & now my first AF, which is still quite heavy on 3rd day.
 
Hi Jasmine,
I'm in a dilemma, on one hand, Im feeling relieved from the anxieties, the nauseous feeling, and the fearful of going thru all the phases of a 9 mths pregnancy. On the other hand, I really love to have my very own baby...
 
Charis,

for us like Volf and me,
our baby already formed so had to go thru normal delivery, gt placenta, waterbag, cord n baby so will need to expel more blood n that is called lochia, so normally will bleed for 2 to 3 weeks depends....
then hv to go back to gynae after 6 weeks, to make sure womb shrink back normal size n do a pap smear to chk any infection.
after that 1st menses will come in soon in 1 or 2 weeks time
hope my explanation helps

whereas AF after m/c, for mine AF is normal n regular like n came on time, last 5 to 7 days wif little clots n mild cramps
 
Jasmine - Mc on 27 Feb. Not too sure abt trying again now. It was a terribly traumatic experience for me cos had terrible morn sickness, coupled with a few rounds of bleedings and then 3 rounds of birth contractions on different days....

Am even scared of having sex now... Told hubby that if we do hv a child so be it..if not, am not planning ...at least for now. V v scared. Of cos I wld like to hv my own child..but also worry if the same thing wld happen again..cos if it does, I think I wld go mad. Till this day, I think of my dear bb everyday...sometimes got outburst and start crying.... see how lah.

I also get v irritated by family & frens (not u) when they try to 'plan' for me when to try again. Some will say 2 mths, some 6 mths. I mean '**** them lah'. So easy to say... wait till they go through what I had gone through...bb formed already and left 3.5 mths to go before full term...

Pardon the vulgarity..but that's how I feel.
 
hi gasl,

sorry long time didnt log in..hope everyone is doing well..i have been so depressed lately..keep crying and like having depression..my husband says i should see a counsellor but i really dun wan to..i keep feeling so sad and having difficulty sleeping..not sure if its cause my husband away in reservice and im on hormonal jabs for my ivf at same time..i jus have an incredible fear tat i may have complications of any kind again and lose another baby..its been making me sick with worry..duno leh, my husband says i always read abt the complications and make myself worry..

i would be very happy if i succeed in this 2nd ivf attempt but im scared tat im not mentally stable cause of m paranoia..i feel like im going out of my mind at times..

dear volf20, i know how u feel..im always so angry wih friends n relatives as well..my friend keeps sending photos of her baby, even when i just miscarried..and i tot she was a really goood friend but all the photos just pierce my heart so much..sometimes i wonder how much more i can take it..sorry gals, jus need to pour my heart out here.
 
volf,
dun feel irritated by them.....take it easy.....juz listen but ignore lor...one ear in n the other out....aniway they can plan for u but den whether u wan to excute the plan or not itz really depend whether u r ready or not..i tink i haf the same thot....scared to haf BD wif my hb too n i tink i will be ready when itz after my 2nd cycle or 3mths later.......everyone here has this fear of it happening again but den u can see some gals in this thread has graduate liao...so we haf to haf the courage to fight over the fear....dun tink too much....juz do it when u r ready........be more +ve...

thewife,
oic...do really take care n not to stress urself
happy.gif
 
hi the wife, i can understand why u feel tat. of cos we wan v much and would be so glad if we can hold and carry our bb...but sometimes these kind of unfortunates things jus happen. life isnt always so smooth i guess.. so no point bothering on wats cannot be controlled. most impt is we must get well again, get up and try again. rite!?

dun be afraid. i also have some fear but wil try to overcome with my hubby's support. u too oke. many pple are concerned of u.

hi puipui, pls dun feel so down. life is full of up & downs. we jus have our downs so def we are going uphill now! ya.
happy.gif
cheer up n look at the bright side. the worst is over. lets pray hard for our next one.
 
hi the wife, i can understand why u feel tat. of cos we wan v much and would be so glad if we can hold and carry our bb...but sometimes these kind of unfortunates things jus happen. life isnt always so smooth i guess.. so no point bothering on wats cannot be controlled. most impt is we must get well again, get up and try again. rite!?

dun be afraid. i also have some fear but wil try to overcome with my hubby's support. u too oke. many pple are concerned of u.

hi puipui, pls dun feel so down. life is full of up & downs. we jus have our downs so def we are going uphill now! ya.
happy.gif
cheer up n look at the bright side. the worst is over. lets pray hard for our next one.
 
hi volf, some pple think that after a m/c, we are able to bounce back to our usual self fast..
not that easy, i must say..
as they are not in our posiiton, easy for them to shoot their mouths and said that...

i can understand how u must have felt that time... dun care abt these pple.. close ur ears and treat them as singing...
 
Hi Ladies
My this cycle is super short..only 25 days..usually mine is about 35 days or so...this is my 4th AF after my chemical pregnancy...sooooo weird...and it spoilt all my travel plans..sob sob...SIAN..
 
Hi ladies,
actually i think my case is considered mild as compared to many other unfortunate cases. I've been telling myself that this is a way to get rid of the 'bad' things so that we can have a healthier baby next round. Im planning to take a break (short trip), enjoy life and not think too much about it. On the other hand, there are friends who kept saying that Im really strong, making comments like if it's them, they would not be able to take it. I dun know why, it doesnt make me feel better.
 
Dear volf20, puipui,
you have the right to grieve as long as you wan, dun be too hard on yourself...
I know it's not an easy journey to recovery... take your time....
nobody can understand what you truly went thru except yourself....
even till now I can still feel worried and scared... but I just keep telling myself to move on....
*hugs*
 
HI Jasmine,
bangkok, next weekend. we pray to the 4 face buddha every year, for our small business. But I will try not to walk too much. not sure whether i can have massage but foot reflexology i wont miss that out.
 
HI thewife

i also enjoy foot reflexology but i was told by the therapists that we must avoid it when pregnant, hence i suppose it is applicable to m/c too as our womb is still recovering. Alternatively u may wan to tell them to avoid the womb & ovary acumen points loh.

i went for body massage about 6 weeks after my ectopic surgery, and I told them to esp avoid my buttock areas. (and they tot i jus gave birth... *sigh*)

u veri steady leh... barely two weeks and u have already returned to work AND going for a holiday AND foot reflexology somemore!
 
hi mum_wanabe,
i called up my gynae's clinic. the nurse said as long as im ok, not bleeding. its ok. frankly im eating snake: surfing net, booking airfare, hotel room, at least something to look forward to.

I've also planned to go for bi-weekly facial and massage(just after i signed up, discovered preggie), enjoy life lah basically, do things that I will not be able to if im preggie.
 
hi volf and puipui
My heart goes out to both of u. I've walked out the darkest moment of my life and I really can't understand how insensitive some people could be!!
They behave like MC doesn't mean anything to us, just like a simple operation to remove a bad tooth or watever.
Even until now, I will think and feel the pain. Last week when i was at the resturant wth hb, i talk about it and tears just drop out of control, it was rather embarrassing.
I've learnt a lesson out of it. Next round whether TTC or strike again, i will be keeping my mouth as tight as possible from those people.
 
hi thewife - do take care in Bangkok..esp with the anti Singapore sentiments now...I am also going to take a break from all these and go for a trip. Sweet hubby booked us on a Japan trip end of the month to catch the cheery blossums. Am thankful for that & looking forward to it.

There is still not 1 day I dont think of my darling Zachary....and though sometimes I still tear, I always have this vision of him happily playing...so that consoles me quite a bit.

bestwishes - thanks for yr kind words. Like you, I will also keep my mouth as tight as possible fr these gossip mongers...
 
Hi thewife, do take care of yourself and enjoy your trip to Bangkok...

Hi bestwishes, in this society, there's tend to have some insensitive ppl ard, if not, our life will be bore...Just take it as a forgiveness for them being ignorance

wow, volf20, u going to Japan too... me n hb planning a trip to Jap sometimes in Apr or May... but we are going to Club Med, Kabira in Jap... Take a break and relax too.
 
volf,
wow so nice..gng on a Japan trip....do enjoy urself n keep the past behind n look fwd to the future....
 
wow volf20 and puppy2006,
so lucky....we just came back from korea in Jan, better not go somewhere far, if not will be broke. just got to know about the situation in Bangkok, a bit scared. Im intending to stay next to the 4 face buddha, opp. world trade centre.
Let's all enjoy ourselves okie!
 
Hi Puppy2006 - Club Med is nice too! Can eat drink and be merry...make sure you eat their sashimi there too - will be v fresh since its in Japan!
happy.gif


D woof - Thanks dear...hey you & puppy2006 also have dogs? I hv a silky terrier and a maltese...but after that bleeding, infection and m/c episode, hubby told me I cannot be so close to the doggies cos you never know when you might get infection fr them or germs...

thewife- Ya, enjoy yrself in BK! It must hv been cold in Korea in Jan? I love to go Chatuchak for the beautiful and cheap accessories.... Suan Lum night mkt is gd for nice modern furniture and accessories too. Hv fun ya?!
happy.gif
kao_laugh.gif


For yummy cheap sharkfins and gd food, go to 'Nam Sin' restuarant in Chinatown.
 
Hey gals - did you go on a retail binge after yr m/c? Think am leaning towards that and keep wanting to spend $$ and buy clothes...just that am waiting to lose that lil bit of fats ard my waist first... all in all, I bot myself a Tungsten palm top at the IT Fair...made me v happy (and I console myself that my Palm Vx cannot work already so nd replacement). Think I might just go beserk and spend alot in Japan..so scary...

btw - hv anyone of you written a mini-letter or eulogy to yr bb? I want to write one...but each time I think of it... I want to tear...will get down to it...
 
thewife,
hugs, I am in bangkok now, following my hb here, and quiting my job after the m/c. Just enjoy urself in bkk. There is just rally here not riot. So far still quite peaceful.

volf20,
yes i had retail binge, wanting to buy game console.. haha but i still dun have mood to buy clothes after the M/C, i am 1 size bigger than previous and just dun feel like buying the larger size clothes.
sad.gif
 
Hi volf20,
i cannot afford to spend much, and spent a lot over the TTC stage. still need to save for future baby. Clothes wise, I dun think i will buy much, just in case if preggie again. In fact, im eating more so that I can be healthier, now put on a bit on waist area. just have the urge to enjoy life lor.
Hi icy,
Thanks for the update! I hope you are enjoying yourself there too. How long will you be there?
 
hi volf20, yeh... I know club med is fun, been to almost all the club meds in asia pac except for aussie, japan and mauritius. Yes, I've a jack russell... is staying wif my parent... Only get to play wif her during the weekend...but now, everyday see her,'cos I go back to my parent's place for dinner every night.

well... can i say I did a retail binge too.. I bought myself another laptop from the IT show...though I had another one @ home...other than that, yet to do any shopping spree yet...yes, I agreed, after the m/c, I'm a size bigger than previous... now some of the working pants doesn't fit... will see whether need to spree on again...

volf20, I actually started a blog for my bb when I know I'm preggy... but somehow, I stopped all my inputs a week after m/c... 'cos everytimes I went into the website, it makes me upset...
 
hello yuki,
oic...so u r there in BBK...so will u be back or bcoz ur hubby stationed there.....meanwhile, enjoy urself there

volf,
no lah...i dun keep dogs although i like them....as i haf no time n i tink itz not nice to keep one at home but no one at home most of the time...DOGS need to be accompanied too...hehe
 


hi volf, pls try to take care of yourself and think of happy moments. I think at this time, you should be building close bonds with your hb. And do talk to him about your fear. For myself, me and hb had the first really deep heart-to heart talk and i think we are much closer than we were before. Someitmes I thank my son for helping us do that.

I understand the pain that you went through. Same for myself, even 4 months after the loss, i still tear when I think of ansel. I mean it's indeed not easy, like you, I had bad ms and was always bugged with bad headaches in the first 4 months and was forever lethrgic. Finally into the fifth month felt much better and things have to end in a bad note. I think myself and Val went through what you are going through now, why, it's just three more months,.. but press on..we have to move on!

It's worse when you go congratulate friends/ relatives and colleagues who give birth and worse if their edd is somehwere near yours. You will be asking yourself why do they have smooth delivery but not me! that's what i thought, but always keep in mind, God has somehting else in place for us. Do try to let go, not to forget, but to grieve less..and let us all move on
happy.gif
 
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