Support group - Miscarriages

[decbride]

hi sophie, yes... but for herbs like danggui, best to wait till blood clears totally....

hi dest, Dun use tampons during the bleeding after D&C....I didnt use tampons for the 1st cycle after that either...... cos just wan to make sure that the uterus close back liao... in case of bacteria...I know wat you mean... I also use tampons and find pads very "Gao Wei"....

 

[choo]

morning all!

didn't come in often...cos really busy with work...somemore with ear infection and a node on my neck...

lyn,

if you see this..I have seen an ENT dr yesterday and he mentioned mine was not a lymph node bt flesh under the skin..he advised me to cut it off though i dun feel pain at all cos better to rid it in case anything..so i schedule in jan 06..didn't want do in dec cos wil be busy with work plus sept just had long mc due to m/c so dun want if not boss won't be happy...

sohpie/mayling,

sorry to know of your losses...do brace up and right now most important is to nurse back your health...I had my most difficult days in sept this year as I lost my bb at 9weeks +...this thread has given me so much hopes and encouragement...I have so much support here like lyn,mei,elmo,coral,hama....they are such great encouragements!!

think i will start ttc after my minor surgery in jan!

this month my AF still hasn't turn up....is it weired?my first AF came on 22nd oct..then now still haven't arrive...opps...hope not cos after D&C my AF went haywire liao..my AF very zhun one....

elmo,

where did you go for holiday? wow so good leh!

how are you doing?

mei,

how are you?

 

[happysunflower]

Good morning gals!


Hello hama...
Hee... I still can cover except when I sit down. I haven't told my parents
Yap, we were very happy that my cousin is doing well now

The last appointment was very sad, but this time it's more positive

Hello Mei...
kekeke... I am still watching my diet

. Very scared the fibroids will visit me again... Gynae said sure will come back during pregnancy, just whether slow or fast. So far so good, no fibroids

Fingers crossed

Hello elmo...
Thank you

Great that you had a good holiday! Where did you go for holiday?
I feel like going to Laos with my hubby

hee... maybe will book the tickets at the last minute

Hi Choo...
Dun worry too much about your AF now

There might be changes to your cycle, but it you can still conceive

My cycle did go a little bit haywire after my first m/c.


Gals with endo, fibroids, cysts, etc should not take dang gui. That's what my gynae adviced me cos I had fibroids and endo.

So take care what you take

DOM is mainly dang gui. My gynae specifically told me not to take DOM too.

 

[decbride]

hi Choo, what surgery you doing?

Lyn/Choo, I went perth.... nothing exciting....but at least it's a good break from work....

 

[choo]

elmo,

the neck flesh which i tot was lymph node...he touched thorough and mentioned it is not lymph node bt an extra flesh under neck..so got to cut it off...looks like i have surgery quite often tis year..sept D&C...oct...wisdom tooth...then now minor surgery for this flesh...

 

[sophie]

Hi Icy,
Thanks. I'll start to eat more confinement foods now, although I think they're very "heaty" cos I am getting ulcers in my mouth and a bit of breakout on my face already! And yep, DOM contains dang gui. There's a little booklet in DOM that is called "Do you DOM". It contains the main ingredients & some recipes. The first ingredient, "angelica", is actually dang gui.

Another good alternative I heard is Yomeishu which doesn't contain dang gui. Once I feel better, I'm going to buy one and make my husband drink that on alternate days as a tonic as I heard dang gui is not so good for men.

Hi Elmo,
Thanks for all recipes. Last night when I saw your thread, I made the red date drink, except I didn't know what is "Gou Qi Zi" so I skipped that. Plus I didn't have "Dang3 Shen1" & "Bei3 Qi3" last night so I skipped that too... ended up with a red date, longan & ginger drink! Still quite nice! And I'm not sure if it's my imagination, but this morning's cramps seems lesser. Will monitor and let you guys know if this drink really got effects on cramping!

Hi Choo,
Thanks for your words of encouragement to be strong. You take good care of yourself too, and continue to bu to get ready for your surgery in Jan.

Hi Lyn,
It's good to know that your cousin is doing better. It's important to keep her spirits up and give her a reason to fight on. My grandpa who had cancer years ago was told he only had 6 mths to go, but he lived another 2 years cos he had his shop to tend to everyday, a reason for him to stay on. When the government took over the shop space in Chinatown and he lived in a HDB with us, he passed away within a few months cos I guess he had no more reason and will to live. Also, I recently read in National Geographic about the people in Sardinia, California & Okinawa who lived till 100+ years old... they all had a strongly-knitted community, be they friends, family or volunteer community, so all had a purpose in life. So I think you and your family's support to your cousin really helps. Keep it up!

Btw, I suspect AF refers to menstruation, but can anyone enlighten this newbie on what it actually stands for? Thanks.

 

[decbride]

hi Sophie, "Gou4 Qi1 Zhi3" is the small dried orange thingy you see in tonic soups...
Dang Shen and Bei Qi can skip if dun have....
If can take Danggui can also add danggui inplace of dangshen and beiqi......
If you find that you getting too heaty, cut down a bit on the confinement food....
Yes, AF stands for Auntie Flow aka menses

 

[decbride]

Choo, did you seek a 2nd opinion cos too much surgery so close ok or not?

 

[choo]

elmo,

this ENT was recommened by my mil as she has two surgery under him before..quite experienced dr...this will be a minor surgery within 30mins..just like extracting wisdom tooth....so very fast...think i want get all these problems solved before i start ttc in late jan06..

 

[lings]

hi choo..am fine

quite bz with work though keke will still drop by on and off lor

lyn.. good to hear that.. take care ya!

me so sleepy leh.. haha every nite like no enough sleep

still takin med to induce AF.. still got 3 days to go am always think if i take liao AF no report how huh?? lolz

 

[decbride]

Choo, OIC.... then not going to be under GA then.
Best wishes... dun worry... everything will be fine.

Mei2, why you hu si luan xiang? kekekekek... if AF dun come, where can it go? kekekek

 

[choo]

elmo,

just partial anathesia jab bah..just like wisdom tooth..won't be completely knock out...

so like that ok right?

my AF also didn't come here!!

haywire liao!

mei,

glad u are fine! me also same same..will pop by read the forum but nothing much to contribute

 

[lings]

haha elmo go MIA lor.. hahahaha

choo.. ur AF oso haywired hor.. dunno y like this oso.. my 1st AF was in Seopt after LOST liao.. keke then wait till CD73 then go see gynae for med to induce

 

[decbride]

choo, yes, it's fine.

Choo/mei2, maybe it's the hormones...kekekek... my AF also haywire this mth....so sad...

 

[choo]

elmo,mei!!

guess wat..just now lunch time felt stomach a bit cramp and like got watery feeling hence went toilet check!!

AF finally came!!

now like wasted cos jan 06 CNY my parents in law wanted treat us to Japan but cos i tot my AF zhun zhun want so didn't want go cos if go tour come AF very very xian one...so i decline...sigh..now Nov AF come 30 Nov...then Dec sure delay till early Jan....alamak...

think maybe can plan short trip with hubby....feel like bintan..but afraid bomb....

 

[decbride]

choo,
so good..I got no feeling at all. Cham.... dunno when coming?
bintan should be safe right?

 

[hamasaki]

Lyn, when do u wanna pop the happy news (preg) to ur parents..



feel so happy for u that ur cousin is doing better now.. that's a huge good news and relieve to all family members..


God Bless her to a speedy recovery...

 

[lings]

elmo.. urs also haywired ah?? aiyo.. lol

hi hama.. hw r u??

 

[hamasaki]

hi mei, i am fine... at least, today i am feeling better...

kekekekek....


what abt you ? quite some time since i saw ur posting here..

 

[lings]

hama.. still like this lor.. keke bz with work nw so sleepy in opic.. weather so shiok to sleep leh.. keke

oh ya.. any idea if took med to indice AF yet AF didnt report hor.. and preggie how huh?? will the med affect bb??

p.s : me not pregnant hor! juz askin nia

 

[hamasaki]

mei, this one i dun know the answer...


u may want to check with ur doc abt it... they can advise you in details..

 

[lings]

keke.. tks hama

 

[hamasaki]

no worries mei.. din help u at all, cos i dun know the answer..

 

[decbride]

mei2,
ya lor...... and no sign of AF coming.... I hope it comes soon... hiaz!
there could be implication....if preggy, you might lose the bb cos the medicine might causes womb shedding and even if bb is ok...there could be complication to bb so must not take medicine if you not sure... only take if you very sure you not preggy.

 

[droopy_eyes]

Hi ladies,

Just pop in to say hello. Have been busy with work so did not go on-line recently. Once I am in, I will be "stuck" for at least an hour, then cannot finish my work. Hee hee...

Hope everyone is well

 

[beautiful]

hi sophie, what are the recipes inside the DOM booklet?

hi gals, what kind of tonics do your hubby drink? is Yomeishu better than DOM?

 

[hamasaki]

hi droopy, its been a long long time.. Long time no see...


so glad that u still remember us... Do take gd care...

 

[mayling]

Hi gals,

Thanks for the support and encouragement. I have been TTC for about a year. I guess both myself and hubby are looking forward to the pregnancy but I am not giving up.

 

[icy]

mei2,
have 2 types of medi for inducing menses, i know 1 is wont prevent pregnancy and own affect bb if pregnant cos it is hormo pills. I taken that before.

 

[lings]

hi Icy

thks

for ur info

 

[coralmarine]

Hi ladies, anyone know what the following symptops signify?
Pain on the right and left side, but not the centre of the tummy area.

I've been feeling this pain for the last two weeks. Getting very worried. Can't wait to go back to Spore to see gynae. Could it be menses approaching?

 

[happysunflower]

Hi coral,
When will you be back in Singapore? It's better for your gynae to look at your condition and advice

Could it be ovulation pain? After my m/c I had ovulation pain almost every cycle. Sometimes the pain last for one week, sometimes 2 weeks till my menses come.

 

[sophie]

Hi beautiful,
The recipes in DOM booklet are:
- Spaghetti with prawns and roasted shallots with DOM
- Roasted Duck Meat with baby pak choy with DOM & orange sauce
- DOM black chicken soup
- Chicken fillets fried with DOM & sesame oil
- DOM chocolate mousse with DOM ice-cream
- DOM Date tea
- DOM with fruit juice/soy milk/milk/coffee/stout/vanilla milkshake

I think of all the above, I'll only try the black chicken soup, fried chicken fillet and Date tea when my bleeding stops totally. The rest are simply too adventurous and "fusion" for me

 

[sophie]

Hi all,

Just for your info, I've just finished reading a book called "Miscarriage - Your Questions Answered" by Ursula Markham. It's a very easy to read book of about 100 pages and can be found in the library. It's quite helpful in bringing me through the different stages of grief and contains lots of quotations from different women. It's good in helping me understand that some of the feelings (some horrible ones even!) that I experienced are normal. This book focuses more on the emotional healing rather than physical/medical aspect.

 

[coralmarine]

Hi Lyn,

Actually today already day 30 of cycle so I guess can't be ovulation pain. Wonder if it's endo...No point worrying too, stress will just make matter worse, but the pai8n can be quite a constant reminder that something is wrong with me. So I just have to fight the urge to worry. Made appointment for scans on 12 Dec and see gynae on 13 Dec. Then 14 Dec gotta travel again. But I'd rather do all my travelling now since I've not started ttc yet. Once I start I hope to avoid travelling.
Farnkly, I think I'm still worried though I try to contain it. I had been waking up in the middle of night, and I broke down two nights ago. Fell into deep depression. Felt as if it's the end of the world. Felt so hopeless. And I have no close one around me. Called home to cry to hb till I got so tired that I fell asleep. Good thing hb took leave and will arrive tonight and keep me company over wkend, then he'll go back to Spore while I finish my work here. Life of a modern day woman is so different from those in the past.
I'm scared. I used to feel in control. I had always been confident that I'm a very healthy person. But not this year. First time I feel I don't know my body.
pardon me, I'm in one of those mood that I just need to let off steam...

 

[beautiful]

hi sophie, if it's not too much a hassle, can let me know the full details of the black chicken soup recipe? many thanks

hi coral, hug hug... it's nice of your hubby to fly over and keep you company. you have strong support and that's very good.
i was also thinking if it's ovulation pain...
when you coming back? see if you can see your gynae earlier?
pardon me, are you a christian?

 

[destitonia]

hi coral,
*hugz*
i know what you mean when u say u used to be confident of your body, similarly for myself, i used to be in so much control of my own life, my own body yet when my baby is uncomfortable, unwell, i cannot do anything to help him except to let him leave.. i guess we are all learning still, to accept some things which are planned for us, not by our own will, things which are beyond my control..this week i am not so bu4 gan1 xin1 over my loss..i try to learn to let go and just see what God has in place for me..no point thinking too much about it also..

once in a while will also like you, become very upset suddenly, like wednesday, when i was alone, coming home after shopping, see so many young kids running around, can't help not letting myself tear..

coral, try not to think too much ok..keep yourself busy and occupied till yr hubby comes ok? u still have all of us here to be with you..

 

[hamasaki]

how's everyone doing today...

 

[destitonia]

hi hama...fine fine.. thinking of going out later... nothing to buy though..

 

[happysunflower]

Hi coral,
Hugs hugs... Your hubby is very sweet to go over to keep you company for the weekends

Hubby's support and love is the most comforting

It gotta do with the subconscious mind which will take some time for the experience to "go away". When I started, I had nightmares every nite and woke up to cry every nite. At that time, I was already not thinking about it during the day time. I told my gynae and he said it's in my subconscious mind. Over time, I dun think about the sad things, but happy things, my night mares reduced

It will take time, but we gotta try

I used to be able to plan and control what I want in life. I first got into depression when my research work just did not turn out how I wanted it to be. And I get lots of pressure from my family to graduate. At that time, nobody in my family wanted me to return home, except my hubby. I felt so depressed then that nobody want me anymore. But I came back and the miscarriage hit me, which worsen my depression... At that time, I felt so hopeless and lost all my directions and my motivation to get what I wanted. Slowly, I read a lot of books and attend courses to help myself. Now, I know what I wanted, it's just that I am trying very hard to get back my motivation to work on my goals again.

In my current pregnancy, I have not told my family. I dunno what I will get from them cos none of them will be happy and support me cos they never did in my previous 2 pregnancies, but give me more stress instead. Main reason is becos I have not graduate to make them happy. Oh dear.... I better stop here else I gonna cry non-stop already

There's still hope

I am sure you will be in control of your life soon and be confident again

I am telling myself this:
"Fan2 shi4 fa1 shen1 bi4 you3 qi2 mu4 di4,
qi1 jie2 guo3 bi4 you3 li4 yi1 wo3"

We will be able to handle any hurdles in life better next time

hee... this weekend I am going for another motivational course

kekeke.. my hubby gonna miss me for 2 days already

Next week gonna miss him too cos he's going to Beijing for work... Ok la... now continue thinking of my romantic trip to Paris with my hubby

 

[sophie]

Hi beautiful,
Here's the recipe, courtesy of "Do you DOM" booklet:

Benedictine DOM black chicken soup:-

Preparation time: 2 hrs & above
Benefits: Good source of protein to help build muscles, improves health & enhances complexion
Nutritional Info: 286 kilocalories Carbohydrates: 3g Fat: 1.5g Protein: 27.4g

Ingredients:
Black chicken: 1 (approx. 300g)
Benedictine DOM: 150ml
Water: 150ml
Kei Chee (medlar seeds): 50g

Method:
1. Wash chicken, cut into pieces and remove skin.
2. Put chicken, DOM, water and Kei Chee into a double boiler. Cover lid and double boil for 3 hours.
3. Drain soup into bowl.
4. Drink soup warm, preferably before bedtime.

Let me know if it's yummy OK? I myself cannot eat this till my bleeding stops completely, so am only taking chicken essence now.

 

[hamasaki]

hi dest, I juz came home from my lunch and shopping trip... ehehhehe...

 

[zhuzhu]

Ladies

Just received notice from my gynae that I had a miscarriage...

I was probably 5wks pregnant or so lar...

 

[droopy_eyes]

Hi Gals,

Hama, I have not forgotten abt u gals

You gals have walked with me through my most depressed days.

Coral, hugz...I can understand how u feel. There was a period I wondered why I am still alive and well. Shouldn't I be severely sick which seems more "normal" since my boy boy was no longer there. I lost confidence in my body too. But I m sure u will overcome this feeling. You are as healthy as before. Your body is fine. Hug hug...

Lyn, Hugz...I m sure yr family will be happy for you. Just that some old folks may avoid talking abt it for "pantang" reasons. Only recently my mum starts to discuss with me abt what arrangements to make when my bb arrives.

 

[droopy_eyes]

Hi zhu zhu,

I am sorry for yr loss, do take care n go thru a miniconfinement. Hugz..

 

[sophie]

Hi zhuzhu,
I'm sorry for your loss. Please take care of yourself. If you need anyone to talk to, all of us are here for you.

 

[zhuzhu]

Thanks Droopy & Sophie..

Can advise what sort of tonics should I take??
I am pretty okie now...Just went to watch "Chicken Little" to cheer myself up..
Actually if I had not taken the HPT..i would have assume my AF came late

 

[kennie]

hi carol, glad to hear that hb flew over.. hope it has brighten ur days and found comfort in his arms ^-^ nothing is more impt than care from loved ones ...

 

[destitonia]

hi zhuzhu, sorry to hear abt your loss.. do take care..i think you can take chicken essence, bird nest, maybe also dom.. i did a one month confinement where my diet consist only of ginger seasame oli with chicken/fish/veg. But i think for your case, you do not need to do for that long..maybe a week or so..

 

[destitonia]

hi hama, nowadays ever since the last day of my confinement been going out shopping but never buy much things..seems like not interested to buy anything anymore liao..just hope to have bb soon only..hehe..dreamt of carrying my baby in my hands last nite,must be becos seen my baby's pic have more memories of him..dun dare to tell hubby, in case he worry..cos i know he also still upset over it..he just being strong so that i will not think too much about it and be happy also..poor hubby..

going to bangkok with hubby 2 weeks later, hope this trip will be a good break for both of us, hopefully, can lessen the pain more and come back refreshed...