hi coral,
*big hug to you* i'm so sorry to hear about what you've gone through. i know it is very hard on you, and i totally understand how you feel coz i was going through the same thing as you a couple of months back.
Gynae recommended an abortion at my 20th week as baby was not growing well and my amniotic fluid dried up. like you, all my blood tests and chromosomal test showed normal and no one can give me a definite answer to what was exactly wrong with my baby or what was the cause of the growth restriction and low fluid.
We struggled for a whole month, during which we sought 2nd and 3rd opinion and did some investigative procedures before finally deciding to terminate the pregnancy. I know it is very hard to let go, but the choice is entirely up to you and your hubby since you are the parents and know what is best for yourselves and the baby.
You still have 2 weeks to consider, before the deadline of 24th week is up. My advice to you is perhaps to seek a 2nd opinion from a fetal maternal specialist in the private practice. At least by doing so, you would have done your proper due diligence before making a decision, and if the 2nd doctor gives the same prognosis, at least you know you have done your best in giving your child a fair chance and this may help lessen the guilt and lessen the number of "what ifs" in your mind at the end of the day if you decide to heed the doctor's advice.
I terminated my pregnancy at 24th week, and I was required to deliver the baby since this is a late pregnancy (>15 week) abortion. 3 tablets were inserted into my vagina every 4 hourly to soften the cervix and induce contractions. If this is your 1st pregnancy, contractions may most likely last from 12-24 hours ie tablets will be inserted 3-6 times. For me, contractions lasted for full 12 hours before baby was delivered. Side effects of the tablets include fever (so do bring extra sweater coz you may feel very cold if you have fever) and/or diarrhorea.
after you have delivered the baby, the worst is kinda over. you will be pushed into the operating theatre and put on GA, after which the D&C will be done to remove the remnants of the foetal tissues inside you. the whole D&C procedure is very fast, takes only about 10 mins and is painless since you'll be on GA.
Most doctors will give you mc for 2 weeks for you to rest. For me, i requested for additional 2 weeks on the ground that i was still emotionally unstable, and of course, my parents would like me to go through a 1mth confinement.
My advice to you - if costs is not a problem, do ask for a single bedder coz the inducement will take place in the ward and your hubby can stay over to give you emotional support. I cannot imagine myself going through the labour pain with someone else and possibly her visitors in the same ward as me!
I clarified with my gynae that D&C is safe and will not affect future fertility. however, his advise is to wait for 3 menstrual cycles or when you are emotional ready before trying to conceive again, whichever is later.
feel free to pm me if you would like someone to talk to.
but indeed my relative has given me alot of hope. I know one day all of us here will become mummies.
