Does anyone has the same issue??is it marriage long there is a possibility that sex no longer play a part?
I wonder any of u has encounter such a issue ?? How do u all handle??
Thanks
Sorry sister, just to share my other side of story.
Ironically, to me, sex is a chores, how i wish my hubby can stop initiating for sex. I do not have any desire and low sex drive but have to do it once a while to fulfill my duty as a wife and satisfy my husband by acting and pretending which i found myself very fake.
Because i know sex is part of a marriage, a package, so i have to remain silent and continue to act, i feel guilty about it but i cannot ignore his needs. I am very happy when my period is here meaning i can stop being "harassing" by him for that week long.
I am only 36 but after giving birth, my sex drive is decreasing and at present, i am totally not interested. Taking medicine and nothing arouse me. Nothing wrong with my partner, i know the problem lies on me. Anyway, for my case, i wish for a sexless marriage.
Hi Wendysu just to share with you that I too have the same feeling you are undergoing. Maybe we are under the same situation, I will be on low sex drive an do not have any desire with my husband. When he wanted sex for the night, my nightmares begin I will get him to buy beer home, lying its helps to build up the atmosphere. Reality I'm trying to get myself tipsy so as to allow my brains to picture him as my lover while making out. Occasionally when I'm not tipsy enough to trick my brains. I will encounter dryness and painful sex, left choicless but to carry on acting like a pornstar, deep inside my heart just to fulfill my duty as a wife hoping the harassment act end faster. But will still act asking him did you enjoy?why you ejected so fast? How's my performance any rooms for improvement? Which I find myself very fake.
When I at office with my lover my sex drive is super high, we wouldn't miss a chance to make out even it's office hours if times allows. Valentines days my husband bought me a lingerie and toy I juz told him off and find it dirty. When my lover and I on business trip I will buy sexy lingerie and toys to spice up with him and I love it.
So looks like he really takes good care of your needs in that aspect..For me, he dun like penetrative sex... he just contended with going down on me till I hit orgasm. .. then he will go toilet and wash up...
Yeah.. at least he try, better than some guys who don't even give a damn about it..No leh. ... though he is good at 'diving' but somehow. ... not complete leh
Hi Wendysu just to share with you that I too have the same feeling you are undergoing. Maybe we are under the same situation, I will be on low sex drive an do not have any desire with my husband. When he wanted sex for the night, my nightmares begin I will get him to buy beer home, lying its helps to build up the atmosphere. Reality I'm trying to get myself tipsy so as to allow my brains to picture him as my lover while making out. Occasionally when I'm not tipsy enough to trick my brains. I will encounter dryness and painful sex, left choicless but to carry on acting like a pornstar, deep inside my heart just to fulfill my duty as a wife hoping the harassment act end faster. But will still act asking him did you enjoy?why you ejected so fast? How's my performance any rooms for improvement? Which I find myself very fake.
When I at office with my lover my sex drive is super high, we wouldn't miss a chance to make out even it's office hours if times allows. Valentines days my husband bought me a lingerie and toy I juz told him off and find it dirty. When my lover and I on business trip I will buy sexy lingerie and toys to spice up with him and I love it.
Somehow, we know the society is screwed up when the following happened in my institution:-
Ah lian young lady 23 years old. Wears sexily, always hit on by guys, but remain true to her bf who waits for her to off work everyday.
Para legal clerk (was). Fresh grad 24 years old. wore all covered up. Caught by cleaner aunty giving blow job at fire staircase. Sacked.
Dont ever judge a book by its cover in this screwed up society
That I m not sure. But I learnt a lesson. When I go out. I dun look with dis-approving eyes on those ah lians ah huas sexily clad girls. And I dun look up to those dressed so conservative too..
We will discarded it before returning to Sg. As for lingerie I will bring it back and continue my acting saying it for spicing up our sex life if he happen to see it. If he requested when making out I will find all sorts of excuses to turn him down. I really don't know what I'm doing? If happen to wear the lingerie for my husband the following days, I will secretly bring it to office or wear it inside my office wear to seduce my lover. Do u share the same feelings as mine wendysu....Wow!!! Where you keep your sexy lingerie and toys? BATA?
If i really want to keep my affair a secret, logically will want to erase all possible traces..We will discarded it before returning to Sg. As for lingerie I will bring it back and continue my acting saying it for spicing up our sex life if he happen to see it. If he requested when making out I will find all sorts of excuses to turn him down. I really don't know what I'm doing? If happen to wear the lingerie for my husband the following days, I will secretly bring it to office or wear it inside my office wear to seduce my lover. Do u share the same feelings as mine wendysu....
In fact I also don't know why I'm doing this? I'm happily married and have 3 kids 1 from my ex hubby. We still meet up for sex occasionally when he visits our son. I will try to fix the appointment with him when my husband is on night shift. With my lover and ex hubby my sex drive shoots like rocket, when with my husband it turn downhill but I love my husband deeply but not sex. Can anybody advise me?Sorry for being straight forward. You are cheating your husband. I do not know what's going on in your marriage but since you are lawfully married to your husband, it's your duty to stay faithful.
In fact I also don't know why I'm doing this? I'm happily married and have 3 kids 1 from my ex hubby. We still meet up for sex occasionally when he visits our son. I will try to fix the appointment with him when my husband is on night shift. With my lover and ex hubby my sex drive shoots like rocket, when with my husband it turn downhill but I love my husband deeply but not sex. Can anybody advise me?
What is YOLO?? sorry for my ignorance..Well... damage limitation.... continue what you are doing. YOLO concept. But be good to your children and parents. At least in life's score card, you will still pass on thr aggregate.... remember dont catch any STDs and be a burden to your children or parents hor...
My lover is also happily marriage with 2 kids, just that he's left sexless by his wife.If i really want to keep my affair a secret, logically will want to erase all possible traces..
Which is BATA - Buy And Throw Away.. and I don't really mean the shoe shop BATA, though that is another story about the shoes that I find there..
If I don't really care if my hubby finds out, I'll act like normal. If he sees it, so be it..
So, I really don't know how your relationship with your hubby is to comment.
Why did you not consider divorcing him and marrying your lover?
What was fundamentally wrong with your marriage that you are doing this with your lover?
There are probably one thousand and one reasons, that only you yourself will know.
But good to consider if this what you want for the rest of your life..
You Only Lived Once
At some point in time in life. We must realise we cannot get full marks in every aspect. Perfect mummy? Perfect wife? Perfect DIL? Perfect worker? Perfect taxpayer? Whatever. ...
My point is. Just pass the god damn life test. Even in academics, we can get an A without getting full marks. So, still wanna be a perfect woman? What for? Will u pay lesser taxes? Will your delivery be less painful???
In fact I also don't know why I'm doing this? I'm happily married and have 3 kids 1 from my ex hubby. We still meet up for sex occasionally when he visits our son. I will try to fix the appointment with him when my husband is on night shift. With my lover and ex hubby my sex drive shoots like rocket, when with my husband it turn downhill but I love my husband deeply but not sex. Can anybody advise me?
Well said. You lived only once. You don’t have to be perfect in all aspect which nothing is perfect in this world. To me, I don’t expect for perfection but I have to live with integrity. Integrity is the value ones that has to be passed down to your generation.
@shearer Almost totally agree with youSeeds, I rather pass on $$ and a HDB flat to my next generation.
Integrity is perceived. It seldom is in our control.
I used to wear bright coloured bras to work. Never strayed, though I do keep a look out for hunks.
My bestie came over during lunch and commented that I was attracting the 'wrong' comments and glances from opposite gender. I replied, "Hello, pink is my fav color".
You get the gist of it. It was just the occasional shoulder straps running out of position.
I been trying but I really don't understand and lose control. Like last night my eldest son is running a high fever & my husband is on night shift. I called my ex hubby to inform him on the sickness progress he rushed down around 10pm. When coaxing my children sleep my brain run wild again and ended making out while they are asleep. While having after sex smoke at corridor planning for 2nd round touching him around. Suddenly saw my husband coming out from the lift. I asked though you on night shift he replied had take time off, let bring son to visit the doctor. I gave him a lame excuse, I am very tried need to rest early for the day but in my mind hopping to have more rounds with my ex hubby. He got quite piss off & left with the son. I really don't know what happen I lose everything in my mind only sex and we finish the deeds.Change your mindset and change your life. Sex is but an activity. Husband is for life.
I don't believe in sexologist consulted 6 or 7 years ago ended fling with him for few month ended today with ex hubby sad....Have you tried going to a sexologist for counselling?
She may be able to help you and your hubby..
Foo_betty, seems like for the section of being a perfect wife, you are not gonna get full marks or even A- or B+.
So, just concentrate on getting A+ as a mother, as a daughter, as a DIL (??), as a worker, as a taxpayer (dun under declare or overclaim ah!)...
at least when you look back in your life at the final moments, you can tell yourself that though you were not faithful, you did your best at other areas.
You try to earn as much $$ as possible, legally.
You contribute to society, dun badmouth your birth country.
You are filial.
You play safe sex and dont be a burden to your loved ones...
You devote time to your children.
overall, though not a perfect 1st class honours student, at least you get an A- or B+ aggregate...
And thats a good grade already hor! Dun be greedy or unrealistic to aim for A* or Disctintion..
Tio bo? Agree with me? Kee chiu!
Playing the devil's advocate :-
What determines Integrity that other people sees?
For it to be pass down to your generation it is not about 清者自清, but about other people views you and remembers you..
Which means, implicitly, about how well can you hide..
Or you can live your life with integrity, but as long as you are not being viewed that way, you will be remembered by your future generation on what they see not what you really are, i.e a person without integrity..
Bottomline, be true to yourself (what you want out of your life).. we only live once..
It's not how long you live, but how well you live so that you can say you have done all you want at your deathbed..
Was never an A-grader myself... if you get what I mean. I will be happy with B+ but will be sad if I get the grade of my cup size!