Angel: I think it all boils down to the individual maid. Basically, Filipinas are more sociable & outspoken... so they will speak up & dare to make requests such as 'writing letters home, making phone calls, permisson to own a phone, day-offs (even if none indicated in their agreed contract)... they also have this constant desire to talk, so they tend to find opportunties to talk to neighbours' maids, etc... most of my previous Fili maids also enjoy talking to me when I'm free...
Indo (I've only got 1 so far) will not ask for anything... she even tells me that it's ok for me to scold or shout at her! (faint... I mean who enjoys scolding).... I told her I don't enjoy shouting at maids and have not done so to any one before her! I told her that I'd still correct her if things are done wrongly, but if she was sincere about working for me, she has to make sure I do NOT need to shout at her.
In a way, Indos are more resilent and have a higher tolerance to be told off...
Then again, from my sense of things, you are a reasonable and nice employer who is fair & will speak nicely to your maids.... in which case, I (still) believe that if we speak to the maids with respect, they should recipocrate... if they don't, then they truly don't deserve to work with us in the first place.
I cannot accept rude or defiant maids... don't even dream of shouting at me (ok, for no good reason la... I mean if I were too much, I can't blame the other party... then again, I doubt I've ever crossed that line)... so if any maids dare try that with me, I'll just have to pack them off... cos firstly, I don't wish to keep someone who cannot accept authority (eventhough I don't boss my maids, I'd expect some form of respect simply because I'm their employer)... also I do not wish to go into shouting matches at home... what values will I be teaching my kids?
In fact, we can't wait to change our current maid cos HB & I feel that there's too much shouting at home (not daily but any shouting is still too much)... also children CAN sense our frustrations with the maid. Even baby (at 14mths) know how to reject maid! On days when maid is scolded for repeatedly making mistakes or forgetting important things, #2 will not let her carry! Amazing right?
Then #1 is worse! Maid pulled #1's hair while drying it after shower, tugging at her earrings which hurt the girl. #1 was so frustrated, she screamed at maid & HIT her! We faint! When I found out what happended, we immediately called #1 into our room & gave her a shelling on why she should never lay her hands on another person, especially an adult. We showed her some newspaper articles on maid abuse & asked her to read them.
We don't know if maid did it purposely or accidentally.... and this isn't the first time we hear such complains. #1 had complained that maid hit her head while shampooing her... but no one witnessed it... we don't want to accuse maid since #1 can be finding fault with her... on the other hand, we also need to protect our kids.
So I called the maid in & questioned her, naturally she denied... but I warned her to be careful in carrying out her work and not to let me hear or witness her trying to harm the kids. Then I asked maid what #1 did to her. Maid said never mind, #1 is only a child. But I told her off, saying, this is not the values I want to teach my children... & if maid values her work, she has to do her part to ensure such things do not happen. I warned both that if such incidents happen again, I'll send both maid & #1 to the police station... sounds serious but we don't want #1 to think she can get away with hitting maids... or that maids are inferior to us and can be hit when they are in the wrong...
At the end of the day, Fili maids are independent & intelligent, they need less coaching & guidance. If you get a religious one with good personal values, there's little issue about her work attitude & pride. Of course, on our part, we must also treat them fairly. However, do be prepared for bargaining for privileges. & We need to stay firm on all matters cos they sometimes try their luck...
Indo maids tend to be more dull, need more coaching, reminders & guidance... & can be very literal in that they do not seem to be able to process information or think on their feet... However, when properly trained (even experienced ones need training!), can be very hard working & obedient.
If you have plenty of time to train, go for Indo... but prepare loads of patience... and good if you or someone at home can understand some simple Malay...
If you prefer maid to 'auto pilot' soon enough, go for Fili, pray for a religious one... usually they are also respectful, love children & want to be part of the family... better still if they share your religion... there is some common ground.
My 1st maid was very hesitant abt handling #2 when she was born... kept saying baby too small, she's afraid of handling baby, etc.... One day, I got fed up and told her, God gave us a small baby. She's healthy, just small. It is our responsibility to take care of her. God entrusted this child to us because He believes we can do it... so, why are you whining? We'll just try our best and baby is in our hands now! That seem to change her attitude totally... and from that day on, she does not 'complain' & we can see she really tries...
So all the best in your search... I've asked for grace to help us all find sutiable maids... ones who meet our needs and are willing to be part of our families.... what we can do is to keep searching! And I'm sure our prayers will be answered! =D
i one kid already shi jian bu gou.. no time liao.. cant imagine shuttling everywhere over the weekend.. how old is ur 1st and 2nd.. wow.. 3 princessess!! my ger coming to 7 months also dun seem to be crawling.. so should i send her to gymboree if by 9 mnths she does not crawl.. r u refering to the gymboree at vivo?? 
