IVF/ICSI Support Group

Miracle, from wat u shared, possible 2 reasons (1) egg quality no gd or/and (2) antibodies in your body and/or genetic. Can try to improve egg quality thru supplements such as multi vit and DHEA. At times egg quality is dependent on our age. I m hitting 40 soon. My embyros fr 2nd fresh cycle (done 2 yrs later from first fresh) not as gd as first fresh cycle based on embyro gradings (of course used grading to judge may not be accurate)

Antibodies in our bodies can result in fetus rejection. Of course not all antibodies can be detected by blood tests based on medical science now. Also no medicine to treat too. Can only take aspirins which will improve blood flow to fetus. May work or may not. But beats doing nothing right? I requested to be tested of antibodies, thyroids, lupus n some others when I m/c 2x. All these increase risk of m/c. Dr loh told me some tests eg thyroids r not required coz if I hv them I will hv symptoms. But I just wan to find a reason. Coz of can find, dr may be able to address better.

Genetics blood tests on us n hubbies are available too. But they r v ex. I didn't do that coz I did karotyping genetic test on the placenta of my daughter when she passed on coz placenta will contain her cells. I dun allow dr loh to do biopsy on her. She cleared the genetic test. Ie, we dun hv genetic problems either!

For my 2nd fresh cycle, I hv an additional injection during gonal-f stage. I google online n found out that that injection is to improve egg quality. But I think didn't work for me since embyro grading is not as gd as last time. Dr loh said I m older now.. Of course will affect... He is always chasing me not to delay coz I take at least 6 mths b4 I try again.. So dun rest too long..

Of course dr loh said luck is impt. Yes I agree with him. But that does not mean we shouldnt do anything.
 


Miracle, I guess I m much older than u. So dr loh knows I dun hv much time left. Once hit 40, egg quality detroriate even faster. So I keep asking him wat can I do to improve egg quality. He said take multi vit n do 3rd injection during gonal-f stage n take aspirins from ER. He didn't feel that I need DHEA coz I think that is ex.

He proposes different stuff for different patients. When I had an empty sac he proposed d/c immediately. But a no of sisters here took medicine to flush it out. He knows I can't take the cramps/pains n agony from the flushing out. Wat if not clean n still need a d/c? He knows i cant take it.

First time, the OT dr wanted to put me on epidural but she realized that I was emotionally unstable n can break down during the procedure. She decided to put me to sleep completely instead. So, Dr loh has been our dr for a while. He defintely know us as a person better than an OT dr.
 
Hi miracle,
Thanks for sharing ur story, somehow I feel that ivf is a very sad process if we fails. Plus when we hv others problem with our body and it doesn't really helping us. Eat all kind of med or supports also didn't help. We can only leave it to destiny but in fact we too wa to kw hw we can pass the next round. Even if we pass there is another stage to clear... Hai... I am justt being tired of crying.

I thou I can be strong infront of my hub, but when he ask me how did the kk say I just start to cry. I just hope my hub won't find me useless that I can hv a bb for nw. When I think if 2nd round I can feel the fear but nt hope. I am nt that positive after all.

I need time to heal and move on.
 
Futuy,
Mine is nt too gd. I am into 3rd wk of suprefact. Have nt even start my 2nd stage of stimulation due to swelling in ovary. Go bk to see dr again nxt wk to scan. Y do u want to switch gyne? What happen to yr first ivf? Which gyn u changing to?
 
Fatefully, hang on there, though i havent been thru IVF myself, but i can really empathise on how you feel. I ttc for 2 years already, 2 failed iui. All my good frens have kids already, some going on with their 2nd, and it took me a very long time to get over the fact that we have difficulties conceiving. There was a point in my life that i was crying at least once a week, and was a emotional wreck. I'm much better now, as i've learnt to switch off my mind and not to ask questions and seek answers. And i've also learnt to be grateful that at least i have my understanding hubby with me, and that we are fortunate to live in an era that has IVF to help us conceive. Take a few days to cry over it and come back stronger k... *hugs*

For the ladies who shared their stories, i applaud your courage and determination to hang til now. Goes to show that we all have what it takes inside us to tide thru. Thank you for sharing your stories and i'm sure it takes alot just to talk about it.

Recently, i've been listening alot to Josh Wilson's "Before the Morning". It really ministered to me; the pain that we're feeling, is the hurt before the healing, and is the dark before the morning, and can never be compared to the joy that's coming.
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Hi BBB,
I hear bloated is a gd sigh. May u bloated all the way to ur 2ww. At least u at work won't feel bored and can let ur mind occupy with work. I should hv done that so I wont be at hm alone crying every now and then.

All the best...
 
Thank ganie. I will try to hv the courage again to face the next round.

Thanks all who hv share their experiences and stories. I am touched. It weird but I can pour out my feeling in here than to my Sis or hub who kw I am going thru ivf. I do nt wa them to worry abt my sadness. Time is wa I need nw.
 
Linda, thanks for ur do n dont

Anyone can advice on the following

i have friend telling me not to take soya product from now onwards because the egg will be harden, my day 21 1st injection start on 28 sep but i saw the posting do n dont stage 2 take soya product high protein, confuse?

Where to buy conceive well gold? What brand? When should i start taking it?

Fatefully, hugz, take care n dont give up

Miracle BB, after reading ur posting, my heart sink for u, admire your courage, jia you, god bless u
 
Hazel... I m not young either! Dun even dare to say my age here feel so paisei.

Fatefully... U r rite, u named it I tried it... All remedies all supplement I oso take when pple said it helps me to conceive. The only console now is pple telling me : "at least u get implanted" and dr LOH said "u still can lah, rest awhile and try another round next year".... Duno shld I laugh or shld I cry. Usually when someone ask me I ll start to cry lo dun say when dh ask haha. When my dh asked me, I cried till so loud, I dun care!!! I dun think they ll think we are useless. I only scare they feel painful and heartache for us so I try to control a bit this time round...
 
Hope4bb, i onli did 2 iuis with prof chen but failed
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hubby and i feel that he is a money sucker so decided to switch to dr foong who is also from gleneagles. Just saw dr foong yesterday and he is indeed a friendly and caring doc whom we feel more comfortable with.
 
Fatefully, agree with you that ivf is a very sad process if fail. But its not the end when it fails. Try to heal and get stronger physically then try again. Every cycle will just get better and better because drs will surely know how best to better tune to our body every next cycle.

In the meantime, dont be too hard on yourself. For coming so far, you have already done great! IVF itself is intertwined with alot of factors, some not even within yours or drs control so dont take up the blame ok?

I find alot of times, ivf fail because of embryo quality or chromosome issues, sometimes fail because of womb condition too. Why i say so is because you see .. ivf is already a very well controlled procedure .. drs would have given us the right protocol to retrieve many good eggs, good culture to develop our embryos, good expertise to transfer the embryos and finally good luteal phase support .. so almost everything from stimulation to hormone supports are already done to the best it can be. Everything can go so well but then .. if the embryos have problem, it can still just stop developing inside us so we get BFN. And embryo quality is something nobody knows unless PGD was done before ET. Even the best graded embryos can have issues we dont know. And thats why on the contrary, even the lower graded embryos can actually be successful. But the good thing is not all embryos are the same. So while you had embryos that didnt implant this time, you will also have embryos that will implant so you can still succeed.

So dont be too hard on yourself ok? Next try will be better. For your consultation with dr, it may not be surprising if they cant give all the answers because really, up to ET stage, nobody can tell if an even perfect embryo can succeed. But you certainly discuss next protocol with dr how to make it even better. Like whether can take any special supplements to prepare for the cycle, whether what dose of purgeon/gonalf or even try new drugs, whether is it progesterone support abit low can take more next time or if you think your bloodflow to womb can be further enriched then maybe can ask for baby aspirin. Take constructive steps and surely soon can succeed one.
 
Looking forward.... I dun hv courage hahaha I juz dun wana to see Fatefully too sad. I m telling her I m worst than her only.

Dun think I m v strong haha I m really not... Paisei *blush
 
Hazel, Miracle BB, I guess we are of the same age range... As what Hazel shared, once hit 40, the embroyos are going to detoriate more... This has been at the back of my mind whenever dh keep on telling me try again... I have not much time left... If this FET failed again, I will have to wait for 3 mths before going back again for a fresh cycle... I have not much 3 mths to wait anymore...

I really prayed that this 2ww will give me a bfp and thereafter a smooth sailing 9 mths... and a baby on my arm...
 
Piglet, thats good. For me, not so good, now that the sedation has worn off, i can feel the pain already. Really pain till i cannot walk straight.
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Still thinking if it gets worse, should i go A&E? This morning bleed fresh red blood now then reduce to spotting. I just feel terrible now.

Any ladies know how to ease the ovaries pain? I still think want go back to work tomorrow, think i better dont try to be 'hero' hor?

Piglet you mean the technique they transfer? I also dont know how but i saw the probe with needle used to retrieve our eggs. Its as thick as the pregnyl needle and many times longer leh. Lucky we are sedated, cant imagine i am wide awake knowing that 'thing' was inside poking me many times! Poor ovaries. So its poke 1 time suck out all eggs or poke as many times as the follicles dr can see ah? I am abit confused.
 
Fatefully, sorry on your bfn. Cry out if you feel like doing. Life moves on then, so stay positive and strong. You can try FET if you have frozen embryos. Discuss with Dr Loh for your next move. Do joint down the questions you want to ask Dr so won't slip off your mind on the spot. You can find out from him why your fail this round and how to improve the next round. In the mean while, take good care of yourself and build your body healthier.

Miracle BB, I am touched by your story. You are a strong and positive woman.

Heatbeats, it's poke one time and suck the eggs out.
 
Hi heartbeat,
During my Progstrone test, nurse say that I have enough support so dont need extra, which I thou was good...but still...

For my this 1st IVF i oni had lucrin & puregon then Utogstan(progstrone) inserts... that all to complete my whole IVF... I dont think i hv problem with my egg quality. Cos I have 25 follicles taken out and 16 was mature and fertlises, 14 embbies in grade 3 above and 2 embbies grade 4 (which is the one i hv transfer but fail)... I dont kw wa went wrong.. was it my endo or womb...

Btw I am 33. I wa to hv a bb before I turn 35.
 
Hi joynfaith,

My doc is Dr Marinanne Hendrick. I think I am the oni one using her. I see most ppl using Dr Loh. I wa to change to another doc and try but I dont kw how or should I change. I find my this doc abit too easygoing.
 
Hi hearbeat,
You can use warm water bag to put on ur tummy to reduce the ovaries pain. I try that it helps and 2 days the pain will reduce. I can see my ovaries area swollen out the other time... but nw it was gone..
 
Hi heartbeat
I was told to take painkiller if I still have pain. So far after the painkiller they jab and even ask me to take painkiller at the same time, I only felt cramp. Nomore bleeding. Just that I got a lot of gas to let out but have difficulty.
 
Fatefully, ya, actually you only transfer 1 time now, cant say whether embryo quality and for that matter, cant really pinpoint whats wrong yet also. Dont fret yet. You still have frozen embryos. Can try FET which sometimes may be even better because less hormone jabs to tax the body. You have many embryos, sure will succeed one. Hang in there.

Ok thanks ladies, i go curl up now, very pain ..
 
Fatefully... The egg quality doesn't mean anything de. Mine were all grade 5s and 4s.... Still bfn mah... I heard of sisters hv grade 2 eggs and dr loh told her the eggs r v lousy but juz help her to put in since she already come to this stage. And guess what? She is bfp.

Actually I think really depends on luck too.
 
Hi Fatefully,

I am not good at consoling, so I tot I share my story too.........

After many years of trying naturally, there is still no BFP. So we went for IUI and I was pregnant on my first try. Imagine how happy we were. but during my 6/7th weeks scan, doc said it could be an empty sac and ask me to do another scan one week later. Miracle happened and we were able to see the baby's heartbeat on the next scan. We tot things will go smoothly and I will hv a baby in my arms 9 mths later. But things start to happen, I had spottings on a few occassions and had to rush down to the hospital and was told to rest more and even bedrest. I did all i could, but things took a downturn and I lost my baby during my 5th month. My gynea and even the specialist have no answer as to why it happened. I was so sad and i went into depression... luckily my hubby and family are there for me, giving me so much love and support, I slowly manage to recover from my depression.

It took me more than a year to try IUI again, but things were not gog well for me... I had 3 failed IUIs within a year. I cried so hard after every failure. So doc suggested to do SO-IUI. unfortunately, i had to terminate the procedure during the last stage as my diabetic doc said my blood sugar level is not ideal... imagine after I had diligently went for my checkup, jabs, took western medi, accupunture, took chinese medi and chicken/fish essence, bloating and triedness I was told i cannot proceed. i broke down infront of the doc as I really cannot take it anymore.

I feel like giving up but I love children and so do my hubby. I really want to have my own child. So now, I decide to try IVF. Althou my blood sugar level is much better control, i am not sure will this be an issue for IVF. I have alot of uncertainty and fears. But I tell myself that I have to press on to achieve my goal.

I am glad to find this forum and I hope to find and to have support from all the sisters here. IUI/IVF is not an easy journey, only those who went thru it, can understand how we feel. So, Fatefully be strong and rest well. Try again when you are ready.

P.S: Does anyone here know of anybody who has diabetic and able to proceed with IVF?
 
Piglet02 and heartbeats: Take care during post ER.. I was in pain for 3 whole days before finally feeling better on 4th and things back to normal on the 5th. Ovaries will feel very swollen and I can understand how uncomfy it feels. Drink some Gatorade (non gassy) will make u feel better and I still continue with my egg white and fluids. You need to try to pee as much as you can to flush it out. Take pain killers if you have to. I was literally up every hour in the night and it took a while to pee. So all symptoms are normal. Just make sure you do not suddenly gain a lot of weight in a short time, run a fever or feel like you cannot breathe. My prayers are with you both during this period of time.
 
fatefully : u have many chances - u have 14 frozen eggs! thats a good number. how about me, i have only a pathetic 3 eggs, which means i have only 1 round. u have at least 5-7 rounds of fet to go. yr usable fertilisation rate is good. my wastage rate is more than 50% can't make it.

i think im a lot worse more than u. if i fail my fet, i will need to go thru another fresh again, costing $$$ again.its normal to feel down during the first few days..but u should bucker up soon. like what sisters shared, sometimes this is like a game of chances. u have more chances than me definitely.

now im at a dilemna again. my boss is on maternity leave and wont be back till end jan. im thinking of going fet in nov/ dec/ jan which means will clash with her - because i will be taking 1-2 weeks leave...depending on how much Dr can give. she knows i went for fresh this last cycle. not sure if i want to tell her i have failed and i will need to try again. she is now at home going to deliver anytime soon. i think sms her is not a good idea. anyway she is on hl and mat. leave thereafter, so tell her, there is nothing much she can make arrangements for me. her pregnancy is a difficult one..i dont wan to burden her with my stuff.

maybe i just go for it and last minute then tell my colleagues and the big head that i need to take hl for another 2 weeks. what do u sisters think? this bigger head is a new boss who has joined.. not sure want to tell him the real reason, don really feel like, as he is quite new, ... also i scared if fet fail, then need to do another fresh.... then need to take hl again.. i scared they ask me to leave... i dont mind affect bonus as long as i hv a job for $ to buy things/pay bills.
 
Hi tanny,
I do not wa to hv many chances in doing ivf... I am afraid. I didn't sleep well last nite. I cry myself quietly beside my hub. It took me awhile before I can go bk to sleep and nw I woke up early and 1st thing come to my mind is the failed cycle. I wa the feeling to go asap. I do nt wa to be alone and yet I do not wa to face the outside world. I just wa to hide. Nw I kw I am nt that strong. I really feel 佩服how some can try so many times.
 
Fatefully : It takes time, yes I know too. I cried in the car, I cried at food court, I cried in the corner. Im already older than you...But we have to move on right? U can take all the time u need, but u must know to move on from there.
 
Fatefully - we, including you, will all try and try again and again and again because of the ultimate goal - holding bao-bei at the end. We are all frighten like sh*t to try again-la, but what is the alternative? Give up?

Cry it out, in the shower, in the kitchen, At food court, in void deck, office toilet, bus/met, feel the pain.. Then remember the goal is not ivf, it is to hold our healthy baby in th end. Be ready doctor will not have answer why bfn, except maybe luck. Don't need lots of meds - less med means body is healthy.

Lots of people fail fresh & bfp in FET. One of the sisters Quuenie is a recent example. Her beta reading super high too when bfp.

Tanny - just do what is right for you. No need to tell then in advance until closer to FET. We need to be considerate but we can't be the one giving in all the time - your boss can't postpone her maternity for you, so why should u hold your private life? I don't mean to be irresponsible & tell the HL 2 days before, but they will just have to find a solution when u have your things to attend to. Jia-you!
 
Miracle : I believe you will be blessed with a joy in your hand very soon. Thank you for sharing your story. We will all graduate from here very soon. Jia you jia you!
 
Hi Fatefully,

I had a chemical pregnancy during the fresh cycle. It's devastating and I know how you feel. I had 7 frozen embryos left then.

I did my FET is Aug. I took the chance and listened to the doctor to have all 7 cultured to blastocyst and choose the best two for transfer and BFP. You have twice of what I had. Went for my week 6 scan yesterday and doctor told me it seems like my embryos preferred the natural environment instead of stimulated. I still have to monitor closely because it doesn't end at BFP. It's not an easy journey but we will get through it. Focus on the goal.

I personally feel that FET is less stressful for me because less needles required.

Go have a good cry if you need but don't dwell on it for too long. Remember you have a goal. All the sisters are here for you and cheering you on! *hugs*
 
Morning everyone, saw the posting and was touched. We shall never give up. I tried 3 ivf and of course numerOus time of fet ( cos I have lots Of eggs ). My hubby was about to give up abc told my inlaw that we are not going to have kids. My weight from 48kg to 58kg due to all injections and med ( I am pcos). Finally on my 3rd ivf. I succeeded. Now we are enjoying the happiness of being parent. I will never see the fatherly side of my hubby if I did not insist to try again.

I had earned my respect from my in law as they know without me keep trying they will not be enjoying someone calling them ma ma and ye ye.

Please don't give up. Try till you think that your limit. Of course if I did not suceed in my 3rd ivf I will stop. I had given a good fight and if still not then I will stop cos the injection really hurt our body badly. So ask yourself what is your limit?

Even now, for my fet. All doctors and my in law was very shocked when I say I want to try again. Even if is bfp, I would be worrying for the next good nine months. But is worth every part of it.

Best Of all, I am reactive to hep c test and now editing for the detail hep c test result. I did fet without getting the detail report, my hubby refuse to let me do fet. My worry is I might pads the hep c to my babies. But Dr loh say it will not. So I proceed with fet. If I really get hep c, it is from the blood transfusion I had during my crisis.

So in this 2ww, I try not to think so much. Just count each day and I always believe I can make it!

Please dont give up, you will get to enjoy parenthood. Even if you stop trying, you can say you tried your best!
 
Fatefully and many sisters here
Me too want to share my story and hope u all don mind
My 1st Ivf was done in nuh, n guess wat I only had 2 eggs retrieved n one precious fertilized n of cos I went ahead for ET. When almost ending of 2ww I had spotting then get to see dr earlier n they test me thru hpt N to my surprise when I tested hpt is a bfp I m so happy. Then dr went ahead took blood for me n ask me to go home. Later pm dr even called me personally n congrates me that my hcg level was 117 ( since I tested earlier than actual BT). I m so so happy n everybody congrates me ( u can refer achieve in march 09). However the sweetness n quite soon one week later I spotting again then I called my dr thru his hp personally then he told me to pin too high hope n go down for BT. Eventually my hcg level has came down n I was so upset cos dun noe how to tell my colegues n mil.
And later part when I almost settled I get close to a few of sisters from tis forum n we actuaaly outing together n they brought me to dr Zou place and recommend me to change dr.

So I jus Wan to let u know that u r not alone, all of us are here give each other moral support n value advise. And maybe perhaps we also can have a mini gathering so that we can share our story more details n not too stress Aline at home. Cheer up
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Hi Enig and ladies

I had such a torturous night! Went to bed in pain, by 4plus AM woke up abit breathless and giddy and went to vomit. After that extreme very bad headache till i moan and groan till fall asleep. Am i having OHSS? Or maybe i have food poisoning. Maybe then i cannot ET tomorrow already.
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Enig if food poisoning still can take gatorade? Frankly i dont dare to eat anything now.
 
Hi pinpater,
I have been seeing Dr Zou since this yr April... I will go see her again after my AF is clear.

Hi morning gals,
Thanks for sharing the stories. In fact it can be use as an encouragement for those who are embarking thru IVF... I guess oni those who is going thru IVF kw how they feels.

This morning I received a basket of flower from my sis, I was so touched, I cry again. I cried nt becos I am touched, I cried becos I feel I dont deserve them to treat me so good, cos I hv let them down.
 
Gm sisters! Here is a miracle happened with me. For the first time in my 7 years, I hv seen a faint line in hpt. I jst cried looking at it. But then dint tell to hubby yet. Becoz I wnt to give him the good news only after getting confirmn from clinic on 26 th sep. Jst two days bk, I ws praying God that why my hpt is still not showing postv. I was askg Him to show me the result soon so that I can be a bit relaxed. Yestdy it was a very very faint line almost like not there kind, so I was not sure, today when I chkd there is a visible faint line. Thx to God and thx to u all sisters for the support
 
Tanny, if i am you, i will go ahead and take hl last minute. Its nice of you to think of your bosses and colleagues but its more meaningful you think for yourself. Work will get sorted out one when you are not around. But having a baby only you can make it happen. And if really they ask you to leave after hl, then also show how caring and supportive they are for employees then such company not worth slogging for also. You think carefully lor.

Wow, didnt know so many sisters here have such heart wrenching stories, you are all great! I too had 1 blighted ovum and i unexplained miscarriage, so total 2 miscarriages. To me, the pain of miscarriage is greater than pain from BFN. So sometimes BFN also not that bad, better than BFP and got hopes raised then harshly thrown to the dumps when miscarried.
 
Hopeful, congrats! You mean the same HPT faint line became clearer today? Should do a fresh HPT today. Yesterday one dont rely on results in case of evaporated line. Congrats! When you say your embryos turned blasto by 4 days already very good clue you will make it, your embryos are strong and grow fast!
 
Dear Sisters,
Thanks for sharing all your stories here. Though they're indeed sad and bad experiences, you have all shown great courage & determination to come so far. Your stories give us courage and encourages us that if we keep trying, we will succeed.
when my hubby & I decided to give IVF a try, we decided that we'll just try once and if still no results, we'll just accept fate & be childless. We'll just have to find joy in other areas and see that having a baby is not the only thing we can be happy about. We can still find joy and satisfaction in other areas of our lives. We will also consider adopting a child since there are innocent babies whose parents for certain reasons don't want them. Life still carry on and we need to be thankful for all that we have and not waste precious time being sad for what we can't.
For all the sisters who had show great determination to carry on, I applaud u.
Regardless of outcomes, pls stay positive. Life's too precious and time too short to dwell in unhappiness.
 

Hope283
I hope can succeeds like u for my tis 1st fet as well, praying hard
So besides u r using the cyclogest insert, u also take progynova n aspirin?
 
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