IVF/ICSI Support Group

Mabel, I can relate to ur mil issue. Thru my 5 yrs of marriage, my mil never really treat me like her daughter, in fact, always give me the feeling that I snatched her son. Just before my marriage, she got her fren to phone me to tell me off when I insist on getting own flat instead of staying with her. Then on wedding dinner night, she kicked my gown whenever it got in her way. Faint*.

After marriage, she commented that our infertility problem lies with me, and said poor womb leads to unhealthy children with hole in the heart etc. I told my hubby that if she has nothung better to say, she should juz keep quiet. Then, during my 2ww, she said I eat too well for lunch, should just eat beans with porridge. Then now after my confirmed pregnancy, she comes up with lots of excuses why she cant help to take care of my bb in future.

We marry their sons, so no matter how maddening they made us feel, we just have to live with them.
 


My AMH reading at kkh is 97. That really high right? I'm going to be on short protocol pugreon.What's the normal range ?
 
Ritz, qing, Sarah - Yeah...the fact that no choice becos they are our hubbies' parents makes it most frustrating. Got to just keep quiet and vent it out ealsewhere. I do not want to complaing every little thing I feel to my hubby cos he also has his work stress. But sometimes, too much is hard to 'swallow' *sigh* Anyway, thanks for listening and sharing your experiences as well.
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Mabel, mil talks always make me bonkers, ha ha. I am always polite with her unless i really cannot tahan her, i will just keep quiet and show black face. Thank goodness i dun stay with her. My hubby is immune to my complains liao unless his mum is really too much then he will try to mediate. But he usually makes things worse as she will go hysterical. Seeing her like that, i always remind myself that if i have daughter in law in future, i will never behave the same way as her!
 
J03, On 23 jun, 11:08pm, u already posted dr loh's ans to the qn u just ask me @ 7:57pm. Either u hv short term memory or u hv alot of doubts on ur dr. If it is the latter, how are u going to succeed? U keep asking the same qns to different sisters over n over again. Even the email u sent me the other time, u asked me qns which I hv already provided answer in this forum.

I dunno what you hope to achieve. Not only do u Hv doubts with your own dr's ans, u hv doubts to ours too. Or u r trying to run away from reality? Girl, it wun work n wun solve ur prob. Sometimes we just hv to accept, think positive & hope for the best coz there is so much medical science can do. U are already very fortunate than many of us here coz u already hv a child. Pls count ur blessing.

Hope u dun mind me being frank. I don't wan to be a tape broken recorder! Anyhow, I wun reply to ur qns anymore coz they are repetitive even if u phrase it differently.
 
Hi mabel,

just ignore your mil..i understand how you felt. the invisible stress is there, altho i'm not staying with them, but my mil always stress me to have kids... hiaz... i told them b4 that its not we don't wan just that its difficult for me to conceive with my past health condition and endometrosis.. so when my sil got preggy, i thought she will let me off..but instead she nagged at me further saying i should buck up and tat i'm no longer young, and when i grow old i'll regret not having kids. Really bullshit lor... complained to hb and he told me to ignore her. Now i'm in my 10th week, and she will nag me on other matters.. i just ignored her and turn a deaf ear...what to do...
 
Chris - Now that you are pregnant, lagi must ignore else very stress. One ear in, one ear out. I usually try to do that but perhaps, this time I am too high on 'drugs'hahaha i.e. all the hormone jabs...plus the end result plus my boy is sick, so I couldn't take it.

It also happened when I had my first born. I was trying to breastfeed and very stress cos not much milk at the beginning and was new mom plus night feeds but in laws did not understnad and keep saying I do not have enough milk to feed the baby that's why baby always cry...I was so depressed, I kept crying and feeling horrible as a mom. I told my hubby to tell them it takes time for the milk to let in but they cannot accept cos they are afraid grandson will go hungry. In the end after two weeks when I almost broke down, hubby says, go on formula. He also cannot take it liao. So I failed breastfeeding. My GFs all told me must hang in and keep letting baby suck then milk will come in. Do be prepared that after you give birth, your hormones go haywire, esp with IVF cases (my GF who had triplets through IVF warmed me). You may be down over the slightest thing. You need alot of support from your hubby and he has to guard you from all the in law stress. Take care and have a healthy pregnancy.
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Summer - Not likely, I saw for myself the number of eggs retrieved over the two cycles. First cycle 4 eggs only 2 fertilised. 2nd cycle 3 eggs only 1 fertilised. Too much of a gamble. Numbers and quality of eggs are not good.
 
perper - *hugz* Can totally understand how you feel. At every step of IVF, there is always a chance when we receive a cold pail of water flushing down on us. It is just quite a 'cruel' process so to speak. But buck up. At least you know you still have alot of eggs in your ovarian reserve. You still have good chance for the next cycle. Perhaps doctor may change protocol or you may seek some TCM to tiao your body to improve egg quality. Do not despair ok!!
 
Hi mabel,

Thanks for the advice. Yup really got to turn a deaf ear lor... my mil suggest me to buy bird nest to eat... altho i told her that i dun fancy it and its very costly lor anyway now too early to eat lor.. she didn't give up lor she showed me her face and said my sil also preggy has already started taking lor..and nag at me a few times till i gave up and paid her $$$ to buy bird nest for her to brew for me lor...at 1st i thought she'll make it 1-2 times per month...no lor she made once every wk and expect me to take and i really dun like the taste and very ex lor... there was even once she made 2x per week lor... faint.....
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Hazel
I do know i hv one son and feel very glad n fortunate to hv him. But like i say last time, i hv been thru alot having 2nd kid too.. Is it bec i already hv one n cant hv another one? When u know ur bfp had turn out mc again and is the third time, wun u feel helpless on wht to do? The reason i ask n ask again as i want to confirm is it really no other ways beside asprin, i post again oso hope some sisters who didnt see my post last night n may hv ways to my queries so post today to asks again? U can choose not to reply my msg but must u sound so not tactful??
I didnt say i dun trust my gynea but as u know, doc loh is a man of few words so i try to find out is there still other ways if is pte gynea..i already say i feel real helpless since hv been ttc for 6yrs, went thru different type of operations n three mc. Hv been thru so much nothing less than wht others went thru having the first kid.. What i must do then can i hv a successful bfp??? Thot here is a place to share our woes n sadness.. Sigh...Dun worry, i wun asks u anymore questions anymore..
 
Hi mabel,

i conceived naturally this time round and by accident but a blessing too cos sick of my mil's constant nagging to see other chinese sinseh altho i told her i seeing dr zou and am very comfortable with her. me and hubby have been taking things easy cos have failed 1 ivf cycle and 1 FET cycle and i wasted 2yrs not working trying for bb and nearly exhausted my savings...When she found out my sil is preggy in april she nagged at me non-stop even infront of her friends. so embarrassing for me cos i have to repeatedly explained to her about my health issues again and again eventho i've told her numerous times over this 5yrs till i'm so exhausted. Hence when i found out i'm preggy in May the 1st thing i told dr zou is not that i'm soo relieved cos no need to hear my mil's constant nagging..even dr zou laugh at me. My mil won't understand cos during her time, she got no fertility issue, she got preggy immediately after she married my fil, and smoothly gave birth to 3 sons... and then she even have to go for ops for birth control....so she'll always complain we don't try hard enough....
 
mabel, my first ivf was long protocol, only retrieved 2 eggs, poor quality. Second ivf was short protocol, only retrieved 3 eggs n 2 fertilised. One grade 5 n one grade 3. Ur two cycle were long protocol?
 
Chris - WOw! That's amazing! You conceived naturally after failed IVFs. I am sorry if I have missed your post. I admit sometimes, am too absorbed in my own condition that I forgot what I have read before. Now at least you show your MIL that you are not infertile.
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BTW, though you do not like the taste of bird's nest (me not so too). But they say gives baby nice complexion and quite true leh...my boy has little skin issues eventhough he perspires alot and very rosy skin. If you can take those IVF jabs, endure the Bird's Nest....heheheh...good for you too.
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Summer - both were long protocols. It takes alot of courage to try eventhough you know the chances. This time was close shave for me. I was so worried I won't even have one to tranfer after they told me only 3 eggs retrieved. But will I be as lucky the next round or perhaps luckier....i really can't bet on it. *sigh*
 
There is nothing we can do to hv a confirmed gd bfp n a smooth pregnancy journey. We are all Human. Our Drs are too. This is life, full of ups n downs. Alot of things r not within our control thOugh we can try to do certain thing or try not to certain thing. We just hv to hv faith that we will eventually get there.

u went thru a few m/c at early stages n the other procedures u have to do. There are sisters n others who went thru worst than u repeatedly, surgeries, mid term miscarriage, still birth, womb cannot contract after d&c., etc. But they dun keep lamenting abt it like u. They continue to try n hv faith n reading this forum now in silent.

If u keep going in circles, n bring ur pain n loss to ur next pregnancy, it wun do u any gd.. .

Anyway is up to U.
 
Mabel, during my last FET, I met a Malay lady, 44 yrs old. Doing her ET frm 3rd fresh. She has a daughter from first fresh at 42. She wanted another child so had to do 2nd fresh. Bfp with a boy but m/c at 9 wks. Dr Loh told her not to try anymore coz she is old n eggs r no gd. She is fortunate tt she even has a daughter. She dun listen, went on to do her 3rd fresh. See, she is not giving up! I asked her if she marry late. She said no, married very young but she has no money n her hubby is an odd job worker. she has to work n save money for yrs to hv enough to do all these ivf,

Last yr in June, at the salon, this lady 40 yrs old heard abt my mid term m/c, told me she has many m/c For 7 yrs. She lost count. She gets pregnant very easily. Her first child came naturally at 35 yrs old. When I met her that day, she told me she just has her 5th child! I was like huh? From 35 yrs old it means almost every yr she delivers a child. FYI all 5 deliveries are c section! She told me no more children for her anymore coz her womb is badly scarred from the m/c and 5 c-sections that it has to be removed during the birth of her 5th child.

So, anything is possible. She told me this to encourage me n not to give up. I asked myself, why did I meet her at the salon n got to hear her story when I just did d&c? Is it god's will to tell me to keep trying? I dunno. It depends on whether I shld read it positively or negatively.
 
I am not lamenting it. I am just trying to find a solution, to prevent same heartpain happen again.i know there r more pp worse n luckier than me, we cant compare at all, but all of us r doing ivf for the same reason, is not easy path so when we bfp n lose it, u shd know how hurtful it is so why cant i source a solution here regarding abt my bt result? If u dun like to reply it, u can always treat my post transparent.. No need to say such hurtful word to further put salt on my wound.. Since u oso say is up to me!
 
Ur dr already told u there is no solution. Wat solution do u want? U can go google the website. All the site will tell u the same. U can go ask Paul tseng or other Drs. The ans will still be the same. Y not u tell dr Loh that u wan to find a solution see wat he says? He will be v upset! If u csn find someone who csn give u a solution to counter the antibodies, u can forget abt dr loh as he gives wrong info.

Anyway no pt arguing. Good night.
 
I already tell u my reason why i keep source for answer n dun wish to repeat my words again. How will i know there is no more solutions if i dun asks further? I dun wish to start any arguement too but u r the one who started all these..

Sorry to other sisters..
 
Hazel, actually i stopped taking tcm the mth i started my ivf which is apr, so the possibility of tcm affecting my hormone is low.

Mabel, i dun tink i want take tcm since it might interfere wf my result. & cos i hv lost hope in myself that i also stop acu. I hv no confident to go for another round of ivf. Somehow i feel tat my problem is really hard to solve. Maybe i'm really fated to hv no child.
 
mabel, i stopped 2 yrs before start this second fresh ivf. Am also very worried that i dun hv any eggs. Although i managed to bfp but not sure can carry bb to full term n deliver cos sonographer found some fibroids in my womb. Just take one step at a time.

Whatever decision u made, u will hv our support. Take care.
 
Mabel & qing, hugz to u too.

Mabel, gd that both u & ur dh hv made a decision. Hope ur inlaw can accept ur decision.
 
Hi joanne,
i suggest you go to another dr to find out if there is any other way to solve your doubts. There is no harm doing thar. How about CARE? One sister here, had a series of test there n found out a problem abt her ivf journey. You can pm me n I try to link u up with her. Perhaps she csn tell you more abt the tests.

Just to share my story, I used to go to this particular hospital n see this dr for fertility prob. I was with her for more than a yr till she suggested doing a laproscopy. Found out there was a blocked tube. Asked her for option, she straighaway suggested ivf. I was shocked. That happened more than 5yrs ago. Financially, I was not prepared. I had goggle on Internet that there is an op to unblocked it. Brought this up to her n again a frank ans there is no such op. No other option was given.(this from a govt hosp)

I was very upset. I stopped doing all sorts of treatment.
However, I was determined to really know if there is really no other way. Went to a pte gynae. Told him everything n mention to him im not interested to go for anymore test. I just want to know my option. I even brought up again the idea of surgery to unblock the tube. I was shocked when he said there is such op but it's expensive. Even unblocking may 
not give me result. So he suggested the money may be if better use to do ivf which my first dr suggested. At least I'm given a reason why it may not be good. I can accept his explsination, the pros n cons. He then suggested doing IUI first to try as I may be lucky n it's cheaper. I did a few times but unsuccessful. Only in 2009, i was financially ready to do ivf.
 
Sisters who go dr zou, does she give medication during ivf cycle? Am tiaoing my body with her for another mth before starting new fresh. Read abt so many success case of ppl who go dr zou, wonder if normally just do accup would help or got to take the Chinese med during ivf cycle.

Last round, when I see tcm at tmc, remembered stopped Chinese med when gonal injection start.
 
Hi Suyana
Thks so much for ur own experience n advise. I am pondering to go care too since kkh dun give me much support after bfp except the usual duphaston n asprin. No jab at all though i keep asks for it.. I really cant take it anymore if mc again..it has been a very hard time for me after dnc few wks ago, i keep cry n tell my hubby i miss my bbies who hv detect hb n left me twice.. He very worry n say dun want me to ttc anymore. He keep tell me to divert attention to my boy.. It was he n my boy that i pull thru those darkest period..
How many wks r u now? Sorry if u just mention ur wks to others as after went thru numerous operation (already 3 times for this half yr) for past few yrs, i think my memory no longer so gd due to the anthestatic (spell wrongly) everytime use before the operation..sigh.. I wish u hv a smooth pregnancy n delivery..
Frankly, i trust doc Loh skill alot but he is a man of few words that i cant get much assurance fr him..;( really feel so helpless when knowing my each bfp is a gambler and yet nothing can be done..;'-( really pray hard to hv one more healthy bb even if i hv to be cow or horse in my next life.. I just want to find out is there really no other ways to prevent my antibodies fr rejecting my bb next time.I am really desperate now... Will pm u.. Thk u so much dear...

Hi mina
Glad u hv finally start ur fet. All the best to ur today scan n may u bfp this time..
 
hi perper,

Don't give up have faith and try another round... maybe this time you let your body rest for 2 -3 mths before embarking on fresh cycle. During this time, if you can take more nutritious food or maybe tcm to improve your overall health. Then when u start ivf, u try not to take any tcm during that period and see if the results will be different. For my last ivf cycle 2yrs back i retrieved 20eggs and only 10 eggs can be used but quality not bad, cos during that time i kiasu took alot of eggwhites (3-5 per day) and drink chicken essense daily all the way till ET. i followed all this advices from the nurses at ivf centre when during my 1st scan i didn't react well to the medicine simulation and after taking chicken essense and tcm my eggs increased in numbers and size even the lady doing the scanning has a shock.

Don't give up, have faith and try but try to relax by maybe going for a short trip.

Jia you jia you...

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Dear all sisters
I remember many asks me how i prepare my kampong chicken essence last time. Found a blog with clear instruction n picture on how to do it with step by step guide.. U may learn n try.. For gals who already bfp can oso drink this.. Very nutritious woah..

http://mysugarnspice.net/?p=474
 
Hazel, I'm the one who ask for the aspirin dosage. Mine was 50mg previously.

Whitetiger, dr Zou do give medication for Ivf even 2ww. But is up to u whether to take or not to. Doing acupuncture is just for blood circulation. For me, I skip the med this time round n just do acupuncture. Hope that without the med I can still response well to the med during my cycle. Actually all clinic will ask to stop Tcm med especially during 2ww. So is up to u to decide ok. Go with ur heart.
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Perper, u shldnt give up after 1 failed attempt. Try again. No pain no gain. The path to be a mummy is not easy. But at least when we look back next time we r in the 40s, we wun hv Any regret. Be it we succeed or not, we can tell ourselves we hv done our best. Dr Loh shared with me some real life experiences previously which made alot of sense. He said this is life, full of ups n downs. We shldnt be defeated when we hv setbacks.

Take time to heal but dun take too long. Our quantity n quality of eggs deteroriate as we grow older. Next round, take chick essence m egg whites like wat Chris suggest. It does help. U will make it eventually. Hv faith!
 
Perper

Yap sometimes nt doing anything helps. Haha but mayb i nt in the position to say so since mine nt a successful pregnancy hehe
 
Morning girls ;) I'm back to the forum .. guess I will try drinking chicken essence everyday during my stimulation jab ;) a bit worry this round not much egg too ;)
 
Morning everyone! KKH super crowded today & I been waiting to scan since 8.15am.. Sian!!

Perper, Sorry I'm not good with words but all I can say is dun give up! *hugs*

Piggy, dun worry! u will have many Swee Swee follicles & bfp tis time !

Flowers, how many follicles retrieved? Et today?
 
Perper I agree with the sisters here don't give up after all that is just ur first attempt only.. Dr will know what to do after this fail attempt .. I also retrieve alot in the first try n end up very little harvest too.. So this 2nd fresh cycle the dr change my protocol to see I can have better harvest anot so crossing all the fingers n toe hope I got good result so don't give up hoh!
 
Hazel - For me I hardly had the chance to miscarry cos I hardly had the chance to conceive even. After my success in IUI with my first child at 35, the rest of the IUIs since he was 2 yrs old plus natural tries to get pregnant never succeeded. I can't even recall how many iuis I did prior to my first IVF last year. With age catching up and poor quality eggs, I have to make a decision. My Dr. tells me this will likely be my last try if the results are still the same or worse. I know miracles can happen, but the question is both my husband amd I gotta be ready to bet on it. Funds are part of the reasons and we also do not want to decide on adoption when we are too old. We need alot of energy and funds to raise children. If hubby is not comfortable to go on for another round, I would not force him too. He is the sole bread winner and I can understand the stress. adoption will be another hefty sum. Not an easy decision at all I must say. But we all know we still want another child, biological or not. Thanks for the encouragement and support. I will definitely give another thought with hubby but it has to be a clear mutual agreement between us before we proceed with anything
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Ho joanne,
I'm 31weeks pg now.
Btw, I'm previous post I'm not saying govt hosp are not good.
I'm back with govt hosp for my ivf though not the plc where I had initially do my fertility check.
I guess everywhere there pros n cons.I'm with Nuh n still with them till today.
 
Shainie, hi hi

Can sleep better at nite now? ER was ok, they gave me the anti nausea med before i wake up so that i wont puke so badly like the last round and am able to be discharge at 12. Last round discharge at 4pm.
 
Minako,

You got drink red bean soup? heard it helps improve lining.

my ET monday, waiting to see how many fertilize no big numbers i think, single digits de
 
Mabel, our main prob is egg quality due to our age. But I believe that among all these eggs, there will sure to be a good one. Murphy's law. We may hv to go thru a difficult path to succeed. I understand the stress of having a sole bread winner. I hv to work coz hub has a heavy family commitment. But all these ivf stuff is adding toll to my career. I went bk to work this wk but I cldnt focus at all as I feel v tired n quessy. I feel like just taking mc n rest! But I can't coz I dun wan to tell my boss why I need the mc. She kept saying I look really tired! Last yr was a bad yr for me, other than having to go thru the pain of loss twice, my career was badly affected n coz of the wish to do ivf again, I can't change job. But wat can I do? Prior to starting all these ivf program, I faced family problems too. But I chose to forgive & forget. These 2 yrs I hv been thru so much headaches, pain n loss but still, life goes on. I try not to think of what had happened coz they made me really sad. I try to shut my mind off. Even now, though pregnant, I try not to think abt tomorrow or after. It works, at least I dun feel stress from the upcoming scan until that day itself. My gd friend tells me "if is mine, everything will fall in place nicely. If is not mine, I stress or worry also no use". What she said made alot of sense.

How many times hv u done ivf fresh cycle? First 3 times u dun hv pay much in cash. It is deducted from medisave n govt grant. So shld be ok?
 
chris & hazel, thks for ur adv...i've done what u r suggesting - chicken essence, egg whites, tcm b4 ivf, stop tcm once ivf start, acu, prenatal vit, etc yet i hv this shocking result. i dun knw what else i shd do in my next round to improve my eggs.

my dh wants me to try again, i'll go with the flow. But the nxt round to me is like a judgement sentence - if my eggs still can't mature, there is no other ways for me except to use donor eggs.

piggy, what protocol r u using now? what hv ur dr changed for u this round?
 
Hazel, working gals like us who goes thru IVF without letting bosses know is really tough. I feel you coz my boss too is not happy with the HLs and MCs that I have taken. Yet we cant change job, but ya life goes on. We'll just have to take things step by step.

Keep going!
 


Perper, u hv done d21 BT before right? The result was satisfactory right? If so, ur ovulation shld be good enough. So, maybe is like wat dr Loh said, is coz of the stimulation/lucrin drugs. Short protocol means no lucrin. So no suppression, maybe the eggs can mature better as a result. He most likely will add an injection to mature the eggs. I think the outcome from short protocol will most likely be better n best part is, short protocol is fast! JIA YOU!!
 
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