Child Adoption
- Thread starter vmom
- Start date
Hi ProjectA,
Thank you for your reply.
The thing is i rescued 2 dogs and a cat when they were puppy and kitten so they have been with me for quite awhile already.
While we ensure that the house is kept clean at all times, am just worried that the officer might not be in favour of us having so many pets.
Worried,
Lena
Thank you for your reply.
The thing is i rescued 2 dogs and a cat when they were puppy and kitten so they have been with me for quite awhile already.
While we ensure that the house is kept clean at all times, am just worried that the officer might not be in favour of us having so many pets.
Worried,
Lena
wonderful to see this thread still so alive. i reckon this thread is one of its kind here in s'pore.
to all parents-to-be ... best wishes and hope to be hearing good news soon
Lena, I really don't believe that they'll penalise you. Prob just want to find out the home arrangements when bb comes home
to all parents-to-be ... best wishes and hope to be hearing good news soon
Lena, I really don't believe that they'll penalise you. Prob just want to find out the home arrangements when bb comes home
vanilla_latte
New Member
@ Lena - I had 2 dogs during my HSR time. No problem. Invictus is right... they ask me how I plan to manage my 2 dogs and BB. I told them that I will install child gate in BB's room so my dogs will not be allowed inside at all time. And will ensure my dogs are well groomed, healthy and properly vaccinated at all time. I will introduce them to BB slowly and see their reactions b4 any further restraint is needed. Whatever it takes, I was determined never to give up my dogs and things worked out well. Hope this helps.
@Mrs Ha - There is no need to surrender the malaysian passort cos' I believe it becomes invalid when there is a name change. You will use Singapore passport for traveling purpose from hereon. Thus, I kept it as momento.
@Mrs Ha - There is no need to surrender the malaysian passort cos' I believe it becomes invalid when there is a name change. You will use Singapore passport for traveling purpose from hereon. Thus, I kept it as momento.
@flashy
most of us have adopted malaysian babies
& have used Lotus adoption agency. I had the opportunity to meet my son only through this adoption agency. Sorry no idea about the adoption agencies u have mentioned.
@SAHM
thanks for the info. Guess, I'll also keep it as a momento to show him in the future.
most of us have adopted malaysian babies
@SAHM
thanks for the info. Guess, I'll also keep it as a momento to show him in the future.
@projecta
I think the rate differs with race. you may call her (Ms.Alice) to check
http://www.lotusadoption.com/contact.html
I think the rate differs with race. you may call her (Ms.Alice) to check
http://www.lotusadoption.com/contact.html
To all prospective adoptive parents...
from 2012....please read the link
http://fcd.ecitizen.gov.sg/ChildrenNParenthood/AdoptAChild/AdoptionProcess/
http://fcd.ecitizen.gov.sg/NR/rdonlyres/A9873D34-4F67-4967-9323-B1A9C0A35473/0/DatesPreAdoptionBriefingdoc.pdf
from 2012....please read the link
http://fcd.ecitizen.gov.sg/ChildrenNParenthood/AdoptAChild/AdoptionProcess/
http://fcd.ecitizen.gov.sg/NR/rdonlyres/A9873D34-4F67-4967-9323-B1A9C0A35473/0/DatesPreAdoptionBriefingdoc.pdf
angel_mummy
New Member
Mrs_Ha, Thanks for the Links, great information
angel_mummy
New Member
Hi Flasy,
Congrats ! Great blessing for the coming Holiday seasons and the new year. Most PD clinic would have the standard Pre-Adoption Medical Checkup list of items for the baby. Or the agency you go through should be able to advised you.
Congrats ! Great blessing for the coming Holiday seasons and the new year. Most PD clinic would have the standard Pre-Adoption Medical Checkup list of items for the baby. Or the agency you go through should be able to advised you.
@flashy
Congrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrats
All pedi clinics & hospitals do have a list of tests as prescribed by MCYS. its a kind of standard package for adoption babies. My agent did it at kinder clinic's branch at Mt. Alvernia hospital.In addition to the set of tests we did his hearing test (i was highly recommended to go for this tests by some of my friends
) .You'll be going to the hospital to be with the baby during the tests & the next day the clinic will inform you about the tests & you'll be going to the clinic again for the doctor to explain about the results ( they dont do it to the agent)
Happy clinic visits
Happy New Year
Thanks for making me relive those moments again
I think you should have started to buy or finished buying stuffs for ur new baby
Congrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrats
All pedi clinics & hospitals do have a list of tests as prescribed by MCYS. its a kind of standard package for adoption babies. My agent did it at kinder clinic's branch at Mt. Alvernia hospital.In addition to the set of tests we did his hearing test (i was highly recommended to go for this tests by some of my friends
Happy clinic visits
Thanks for making me relive those moments again
I think you should have started to buy or finished buying stuffs for ur new baby
aprilgemini
New Member
@ Andrea Yee.. Hey r u one of the speakers for one of the Adoption workshop organised by TOUCH? I was one of the participants
Anyway mummies,
I am a proud mummy of a beautiful 8 mth old bb girl whom I adopted from a local adoption agency. She's a local baby. We just completed the adoption process and served the Order To Adopt by the court. We now in the process of making her birthcert. There's a delay making her bc as there's some ammendments.
Recently..few weeks ago, I was shocked to receive an sms from my daughter's birth mother. In her sms, she stated that she & her bf wanted to take care of her on every fridays & saturdays. I was so shocked! Firstly- how on earth she got my hp number!
So, i ignored her.. i ignored all smses and calls from her.
i questioned the adoption agency and they deny giving out the information to her.
Few days later, came another sms frm her saying that they are really pissed that i have ignored their request and they are taking action. this time they wants my bb back. Also i ignored this threat but kept the smses just in case..
True enough, just last week, they knocked on my doors..she called my hp while knocking on my doors and i heard her saying to sm1" yes this is the address" Lucky i was on mc and left my bb at my MIL place. I panicked and didn't dare open the door. My hubby was doing OT and i was alone then.. Now she even got my address!! I called my mum who's staying few streets away about it and they too panicked. Don't ask me why- i myself dunno why i didn't call the police. They left after 20 mins outside my door..Still I didn't dare open the door to take a peek..
My bro, sis-in law and mum were getting ready to fetch me from my hse. When they opened the door, my bro saw sm1 outside my mum's place..but she dashed for the lift. Puzzled, My family ahead to the car and making their way to my place. They noticed the same girl and a guy at the void deck. Then they also got into another car. My bro grew suspicious as its like they are tailing them. My bro called me and told me of the situation at the same time drove to a NPC near my place. I called my hubby and relate to him the incident. I sneaked out and met my hubby at a shopping ctr nearby. My bro called and he said he can't make the report on my behalf. We end up making our way on our own to the next nearest NPC to make the report.
Report done. Next day, i was still traumatised by what happened. To think that not only she had my home address, she too have my mum's home address!! SCARY!! i am so worried for my child's safety! I still left my bb at my MIL's place. They knocked on my mum's place once again.. so this time, i called the police. they were interviewed by the police and advice to leave the premise. No arrest been made as they didn't cause any trouble but the police advice us that we can file a complaint to the majistrate @ high court.. *sigh which we'll do it tmrw.. i just don't understand.. we've been doing the adoption thingy the legal way, they already signed on the dotted line, and i felt that i am the criminal!
Anyway mummies,
I am a proud mummy of a beautiful 8 mth old bb girl whom I adopted from a local adoption agency. She's a local baby. We just completed the adoption process and served the Order To Adopt by the court. We now in the process of making her birthcert. There's a delay making her bc as there's some ammendments.
Recently..few weeks ago, I was shocked to receive an sms from my daughter's birth mother. In her sms, she stated that she & her bf wanted to take care of her on every fridays & saturdays. I was so shocked! Firstly- how on earth she got my hp number!
So, i ignored her.. i ignored all smses and calls from her.
i questioned the adoption agency and they deny giving out the information to her.
Few days later, came another sms frm her saying that they are really pissed that i have ignored their request and they are taking action. this time they wants my bb back. Also i ignored this threat but kept the smses just in case..
True enough, just last week, they knocked on my doors..she called my hp while knocking on my doors and i heard her saying to sm1" yes this is the address" Lucky i was on mc and left my bb at my MIL place. I panicked and didn't dare open the door. My hubby was doing OT and i was alone then.. Now she even got my address!! I called my mum who's staying few streets away about it and they too panicked. Don't ask me why- i myself dunno why i didn't call the police. They left after 20 mins outside my door..Still I didn't dare open the door to take a peek..
My bro, sis-in law and mum were getting ready to fetch me from my hse. When they opened the door, my bro saw sm1 outside my mum's place..but she dashed for the lift. Puzzled, My family ahead to the car and making their way to my place. They noticed the same girl and a guy at the void deck. Then they also got into another car. My bro grew suspicious as its like they are tailing them. My bro called me and told me of the situation at the same time drove to a NPC near my place. I called my hubby and relate to him the incident. I sneaked out and met my hubby at a shopping ctr nearby. My bro called and he said he can't make the report on my behalf. We end up making our way on our own to the next nearest NPC to make the report.
Report done. Next day, i was still traumatised by what happened. To think that not only she had my home address, she too have my mum's home address!! SCARY!! i am so worried for my child's safety! I still left my bb at my MIL's place. They knocked on my mum's place once again.. so this time, i called the police. they were interviewed by the police and advice to leave the premise. No arrest been made as they didn't cause any trouble but the police advice us that we can file a complaint to the majistrate @ high court.. *sigh which we'll do it tmrw.. i just don't understand.. we've been doing the adoption thingy the legal way, they already signed on the dotted line, and i felt that i am the criminal!
vanilla_latte
New Member
@aprilgemini - Am sorry to hear about your ordeal. You must be going through alot right now. Take comfort that as long as you have been granted the adoption court order... waiting to collect BC then BB is officially yours BUT to be safe, you may want to seek legal advice as to whether if this can be reversed shd birth mother changes her mind. Least you know what are your chances. As adoptive parents, we do undertake risks. Using adoption agency does not mean the entire adoption process is legal. It is still a private arrangement. Sometimes, we may even end up child trafficking unknowingly. It can be that complicated.
So, here are my thoughts about your situation which I hope you find it useful: how sure are you that she is your BB birth mom? Have you ever met her b4 you adopt BB? If no, do you know why BB was given up and how BB ended up with the agency? could this be a "fake" mother and she + agency is up to something? Can you hold back any payment to agency until they clarify this issue? I do think you need a thorough investigation with this agency.
If indeed she is the birth mom and let say agency has leaked out your contact info unintentionally, then she is probably grieving her loss and by you ignoring her... it just make matter worst. Perhaps all she wants is your assurance that her BB is well taken care. I know it is not easy to think rational when things happened. I know you are afraid of losing your BB (who doesn't). But for you and your child sake, you do need to calm down and bravely face up the challenge and think how you can work this issue out with her birth mom so you do not have to live in constant fear. Even if legal paper is in place and police are involved, things may not be as clear cut as it is. Eg - can you really stop her from stalking you? how are you going to disclose to your child about her birth mom? Keeping open communication with birth mother may not be a bad thing after all. It may even do good for your child in future. It all depends how you look at it.
Guess I will stop right here as I do not want to stress you any further. Should you need support or hear second opinion, feel free to PM me. Please take good care of yourself. May God's love, peace and joy sustain you throughout.
So, here are my thoughts about your situation which I hope you find it useful: how sure are you that she is your BB birth mom? Have you ever met her b4 you adopt BB? If no, do you know why BB was given up and how BB ended up with the agency? could this be a "fake" mother and she + agency is up to something? Can you hold back any payment to agency until they clarify this issue? I do think you need a thorough investigation with this agency.
If indeed she is the birth mom and let say agency has leaked out your contact info unintentionally, then she is probably grieving her loss and by you ignoring her... it just make matter worst. Perhaps all she wants is your assurance that her BB is well taken care. I know it is not easy to think rational when things happened. I know you are afraid of losing your BB (who doesn't). But for you and your child sake, you do need to calm down and bravely face up the challenge and think how you can work this issue out with her birth mom so you do not have to live in constant fear. Even if legal paper is in place and police are involved, things may not be as clear cut as it is. Eg - can you really stop her from stalking you? how are you going to disclose to your child about her birth mom? Keeping open communication with birth mother may not be a bad thing after all. It may even do good for your child in future. It all depends how you look at it.
Guess I will stop right here as I do not want to stress you any further. Should you need support or hear second opinion, feel free to PM me. Please take good care of yourself. May God's love, peace and joy sustain you throughout.
aprilgemini
New Member
Thks SAHM for ur advice..
Like i mentioned, we went thru the agency informing them that we prefered our potential adopted bb to be a girl and she the agency informed us there's a girl (young, unwed) who's expecting a girl and wanted to to put the bb up for adoption. All along we informed the agency that we do not want to meet the bb natural parents however, upon the bb's birth, her natural father request to meet us the adoptive parents. We were advice by the agency that its their request so my husband & I met them. That was the first and thought it would be the last
..
As took my bb right after she was discharged from the hospital. So, when they came to my hse, I was very sure that its them.
ok, lets call my bb's natural mother and father Molly and Mike respectively.
I have seen memos, handwritten and signed by Molly that she would like to put the bb up for adoption as they don't have the means to bring her up, still studying and serving NS and all..
TBH, these couple are aggressive Young punks. I'm sorry, not that i want to look down on them after all they are my bb's natural parents. I felt sorry for my child.. I know when the time is right I must reveal to her about them. But Its sad.. i can't imagine telling her their backgrounds and all.. but i'm prepared.. but for the time being, communicating with them is not even on the list.
As the police report already made, We were adviced by the police to file the complaint to the judge.. we are keeping our finger crossed. We are filing the complaint today. Do pray for us too. I am very stressed, traumatised. Everytime i go back home, i fear that sm1 is behind me, following me. I will close & locked all doors & windows. to the extend, whenever, a neighbour walked pass my corridor, my heart jumps! I cried whenever, i cradled my bb to sleep.. pls pray for us. thank u
Like i mentioned, we went thru the agency informing them that we prefered our potential adopted bb to be a girl and she the agency informed us there's a girl (young, unwed) who's expecting a girl and wanted to to put the bb up for adoption. All along we informed the agency that we do not want to meet the bb natural parents however, upon the bb's birth, her natural father request to meet us the adoptive parents. We were advice by the agency that its their request so my husband & I met them. That was the first and thought it would be the last
As took my bb right after she was discharged from the hospital. So, when they came to my hse, I was very sure that its them.
ok, lets call my bb's natural mother and father Molly and Mike respectively.
I have seen memos, handwritten and signed by Molly that she would like to put the bb up for adoption as they don't have the means to bring her up, still studying and serving NS and all..
TBH, these couple are aggressive Young punks. I'm sorry, not that i want to look down on them after all they are my bb's natural parents. I felt sorry for my child.. I know when the time is right I must reveal to her about them. But Its sad.. i can't imagine telling her their backgrounds and all.. but i'm prepared.. but for the time being, communicating with them is not even on the list.
As the police report already made, We were adviced by the police to file the complaint to the judge.. we are keeping our finger crossed. We are filing the complaint today. Do pray for us too. I am very stressed, traumatised. Everytime i go back home, i fear that sm1 is behind me, following me. I will close & locked all doors & windows. to the extend, whenever, a neighbour walked pass my corridor, my heart jumps! I cried whenever, i cradled my bb to sleep.. pls pray for us. thank u
vanilla_latte
New Member
@aprilgemini - I can understand how you are feeling and hope she has stopped harassing you by now. Otherwise, avoiding them completely is not going to solve the problem. Do you really want to live in fear not knowing when they are going to appear at the door? I am concerned that if you are constantly at this suspicious state, you might soon suffer a mental breakdown. Not only it will affect your well being, BB will also be affected.
Based on what you said, I believe birth mom is trying to cope with her loss. She does need counseling. Do try to empathize her as without her giving, you won't be a mother also. I won't try to think too much into her character or if she has other motives. I seriously do not think she really wants BB back or she has the means to do so. And one big plus if you are willing to keep communication open is that should BB has any medical emergency that needs history or next of kin, you won't be helpless at all. As you are aware, medical problems can surfaced in later years. But if you are not ready to talk to them, perhaps you can get someone whom you trust to speak on your behalf. Remind them why they give up BB in first place. Assure them BB is in good hands. Always focus on the interest of BB. Try working out on a compromise solution. FYI... I do hear from other adoptive parents that they do have request from birth mom to send BB photo to her on every birthday and they obliged.
On the other hand, do all the necessary to protect yourself on the legal ends and nothing can revoked the status. Least one load is off your mind. Meanwhile, I just want to encourage you that God is with you and he is in control in your current situation. Do not worry and fear but believe He will work it out for good. Have faith. Blessed Christmas to you.
Based on what you said, I believe birth mom is trying to cope with her loss. She does need counseling. Do try to empathize her as without her giving, you won't be a mother also. I won't try to think too much into her character or if she has other motives. I seriously do not think she really wants BB back or she has the means to do so. And one big plus if you are willing to keep communication open is that should BB has any medical emergency that needs history or next of kin, you won't be helpless at all. As you are aware, medical problems can surfaced in later years. But if you are not ready to talk to them, perhaps you can get someone whom you trust to speak on your behalf. Remind them why they give up BB in first place. Assure them BB is in good hands. Always focus on the interest of BB. Try working out on a compromise solution. FYI... I do hear from other adoptive parents that they do have request from birth mom to send BB photo to her on every birthday and they obliged.
On the other hand, do all the necessary to protect yourself on the legal ends and nothing can revoked the status. Least one load is off your mind. Meanwhile, I just want to encourage you that God is with you and he is in control in your current situation. Do not worry and fear but believe He will work it out for good. Have faith. Blessed Christmas to you.
vickysmommy
Member
@aprilgemini: firstly, I'd like to apologize for the delay in replying. Hvn't logged into my ac for a couple of days.
I'm so so sorry to hear what you hv bn going through!! Gosh!! SAHM is completely right, yr bb's birthparents ESP birthmom is definitely going through some stress & desperately needs Counselling.
I'm however, v puzzled about how they obtained yr contact details! There are 2 possibilities: the lawyer, who wasn't discreet with the info when they where letting her sign all the papers or the agency. Did u contact the agency ? Was birthmom given any Counselling before bb was born? Can they recommend a counsellor at this point? Can u offer to pay for that? At this point, u cd be dealing with irrational youngsters. I think offering them help to deal & sort out their emotional state for the sake of everyone on the long term is paramount. Even though bb is legally yours, being harassed or even suspicious & on yr lookout all the time will, as SAHM said, will drive you towards a breakdown.
If she/they willing to be counseled, don't stop there. Make sure u follow up & if need be, since they are teens, perhaps get counsellor to meet her parents to give her the support she needs.
Pls keep us posted. Meantime, be strong & hang in there.
Andrea
I'm so so sorry to hear what you hv bn going through!! Gosh!! SAHM is completely right, yr bb's birthparents ESP birthmom is definitely going through some stress & desperately needs Counselling.
I'm however, v puzzled about how they obtained yr contact details! There are 2 possibilities: the lawyer, who wasn't discreet with the info when they where letting her sign all the papers or the agency. Did u contact the agency ? Was birthmom given any Counselling before bb was born? Can they recommend a counsellor at this point? Can u offer to pay for that? At this point, u cd be dealing with irrational youngsters. I think offering them help to deal & sort out their emotional state for the sake of everyone on the long term is paramount. Even though bb is legally yours, being harassed or even suspicious & on yr lookout all the time will, as SAHM said, will drive you towards a breakdown.
If she/they willing to be counseled, don't stop there. Make sure u follow up & if need be, since they are teens, perhaps get counsellor to meet her parents to give her the support she needs.
Pls keep us posted. Meantime, be strong & hang in there.
Andrea
sunshineday08
Member
Hi April, sorry to hear abt. your ordeal, can really imagine the stress and anxiety you're going thru right now!
It's great suggestion by the rest of them here, but if I were you, I would plan to move out of your present house! Yes it seems drastic but I think long term wise it's worth it in exchange for your child's safety, sorry kipnapped, etc.
No kidding like what was mentioned, they're 'young punks' and they're capable of doing anything, not to scare you really, there's no guarantee that counseling will change them, some may some may not, and you're still at the risk of them coming back again, why so....simply because they already know your address!!!
Will be praying!
It's great suggestion by the rest of them here, but if I were you, I would plan to move out of your present house! Yes it seems drastic but I think long term wise it's worth it in exchange for your child's safety, sorry kipnapped, etc.
No kidding like what was mentioned, they're 'young punks' and they're capable of doing anything, not to scare you really, there's no guarantee that counseling will change them, some may some may not, and you're still at the risk of them coming back again, why so....simply because they already know your address!!!
Will be praying!
iwantitvmuch
Member
April, Thanks for sharing. I'm abit traumatised by your experience and I'm really sorry you have to go through this.
You might want to think about what the rest said, helping the young birth mother to get a resolution. She has to come to terms with her situation and helped her to understand that it wasn't a wrong decision to give up her child. I'm sure you don't want to live in fear all your life.
i would also be open to move out of your present house, like Sunshine Day said. However, would they be gone forever or they will track you down again? If they track you down again, then it will be time to do something about and help them to get counseling.
You might want to think about what the rest said, helping the young birth mother to get a resolution. She has to come to terms with her situation and helped her to understand that it wasn't a wrong decision to give up her child. I'm sure you don't want to live in fear all your life.
i would also be open to move out of your present house, like Sunshine Day said. However, would they be gone forever or they will track you down again? If they track you down again, then it will be time to do something about and help them to get counseling.
vickysmommy
Member
@aprilgemini: how are you doing? Tried to PM you but couldn't. You might want to able it
. Email me if you need to talk.
To families who are planning to adopt, I'm sure most of you adoptive parents agree, pls do approach agencies and lawyers who are experienced. There are agencies who are purely commercial and transactional who forget that they are dealing with human emotions. Pre and post adoption counseling is just so important for birth families and birth moms who are in a position to make the biggest decisions in their lives. We want to respect their decisions & be sure that all parties are going in with eyes wide open.
To families who are planning to adopt, I'm sure most of you adoptive parents agree, pls do approach agencies and lawyers who are experienced. There are agencies who are purely commercial and transactional who forget that they are dealing with human emotions. Pre and post adoption counseling is just so important for birth families and birth moms who are in a position to make the biggest decisions in their lives. We want to respect their decisions & be sure that all parties are going in with eyes wide open.
I share the happiness of those who have finally your own bundle of joy to shower him or her with endearing love. Being married for almost 5 years, I am considering to adopt as well. However, does opinions from parents/relatives/friends matter before we carry on with our plan?
Also, How does one explain to the child that he/she adopted?
Clearly, with everyone around me expecting their 2nd or 3rd bb I do not want to jump into the adoption process just because im pressured by my peers.
Also, How does one explain to the child that he/she adopted?
Clearly, with everyone around me expecting their 2nd or 3rd bb I do not want to jump into the adoption process just because im pressured by my peers.
vickysmommy
Member
Hello Qayla, it must b an exciting time for you now tt you hv decided to adopt. May I suggest tt you scroll up as there were a few who hv posted qns similar to yours. Keep us posted n all the best to your journey!!
Meantime, Happy New Year everyone in here!! I wish & yr families / families to be a great year ahead!
Meantime, Happy New Year everyone in here!! I wish & yr families / families to be a great year ahead!
vickysmommy
Member
Aprilgemini, how's everything going for you?
vickysmommy
Member
Flashy, is baby home yet? Must be soooo exciting!
vickysmommy
Member
Hi Lena! See u at Tafnet gatherings!
Hi all, since it has been so quiet in here, let's share some suggestions since CNY will be upon us soon.
Those of you who'll be introducing your bubs to relatives & friends for the first time, how are you planning to do it? What will you say?
There are 2 distinct schools of thoughts here. I thought it'll be good to discuss it so that those who are doing it can prepare themselves. One school says to lay it all on the table, the other says it isn't necessary to say at all.
Perhaps those of you who have gone through it can share your experiences & learnings.
Hi all, since it has been so quiet in here, let's share some suggestions since CNY will be upon us soon.
Those of you who'll be introducing your bubs to relatives & friends for the first time, how are you planning to do it? What will you say?
There are 2 distinct schools of thoughts here. I thought it'll be good to discuss it so that those who are doing it can prepare themselves. One school says to lay it all on the table, the other says it isn't necessary to say at all.
Perhaps those of you who have gone through it can share your experiences & learnings.
vickysmommy
Member
What about those of you who have begun your adoption journey but haven't been matched yet. What will your reply be when asked that golden annual question?
Hi everyone
My baby has been home since new year eve and of course I am terribly busy with him and work. I just can't wait to go on home immediately.
Anyway to reply to Amdrea's question- I will tell them frankly as I did not see the reason to hide from the truth. In fact my mil was so stressed put during one of the new year gathering when one of the cousin in law kept asking her questions. I guess both myself n hubby are already prepared to get the bombarding from those nosy relatives. Lol.
Lena
Sure hope to see you at Tafnet, I am also thinking of joining the network. Btw anyone know when is the next disclosure workshop?
My baby has been home since new year eve and of course I am terribly busy with him and work. I just can't wait to go on home immediately.
Anyway to reply to Amdrea's question- I will tell them frankly as I did not see the reason to hide from the truth. In fact my mil was so stressed put during one of the new year gathering when one of the cousin in law kept asking her questions. I guess both myself n hubby are already prepared to get the bombarding from those nosy relatives. Lol.
Lena
Sure hope to see you at Tafnet, I am also thinking of joining the network. Btw anyone know when is the next disclosure workshop?
sunshineday08
Member
Hello all, answer to that question, we would just laugh it off and tell them... 'oh it's coming soon, so get ready your ang pow next year ok...' Hahaha hahaha!
dec
Member
Hi, me and hb are considering adoption in the near future...
Now doing some research on the flows and cost etc...
Can advise how to schedule for the start of the process? like OI etc? thru the adoption agencies or through MYCS?
Overall will take how long to be approved? And is it a long wait for bb candidates?
Are we allowed to view bbs in person during selection process?
Mainly local bbs and malaysia bbs?
How about cost wise?
Appreciate kind advice in advance...
As i'm totally new and abit lost regarding the adoption process.
Now doing some research on the flows and cost etc...
Can advise how to schedule for the start of the process? like OI etc? thru the adoption agencies or through MYCS?
Overall will take how long to be approved? And is it a long wait for bb candidates?
Are we allowed to view bbs in person during selection process?
Mainly local bbs and malaysia bbs?
How about cost wise?
Appreciate kind advice in advance...
As i'm totally new and abit lost regarding the adoption process.
Hello Everyone,
I've been kept busy since my baby came home about two weeks ago and I hardly have anytime to go online.
To answer Andrea's question, I think Chinese New Year is the perfect time to introduce my baby to my family and friends. We have no intention to hide the truth from anyone and told them that we adopted our boy.
Prior to formerly introducing my baby to my extended family, I shared this news with one member from each extended household through FB and got them to share this news with the rest of their family. So on the day of the family gathering, folks were anticipating the arrival of my baby. :>
I've been kept busy since my baby came home about two weeks ago and I hardly have anytime to go online.
To answer Andrea's question, I think Chinese New Year is the perfect time to introduce my baby to my family and friends. We have no intention to hide the truth from anyone and told them that we adopted our boy.
Prior to formerly introducing my baby to my extended family, I shared this news with one member from each extended household through FB and got them to share this news with the rest of their family. So on the day of the family gathering, folks were anticipating the arrival of my baby. :>
Most of us want to adopt because we can't have our own babies. But there has been a growing number of people who are adopting because they choose not to go through the pregnancy process. Maybe they want to stay in shape, or a continuation of career progresss... What do you think about it? Should we at least try to get pregnant instead of adopting as the first choice?
bellsbells
Member
Hi all, I just had my home visit today. Now I am abit concern n need some advice. My counsellor told me that mcys will do their own accessing when the child is identified and applying for dependent pass. Just curious any one have any idea what the mcys will look for? I hv quite a few book shelfs and as I bought my place secondhand alot of my power points are lower type but not consealed so what should I do? Need to relay everything but if the power points r higher doesn't it have dangling wires? I mean I can't possibly conceal everything right. Plus I have quite a few desktop computers and laptops and all adds to the wires hmm.. Maybe someone who has adopted can advice what the mcys will look for.
Hi Yen
The two references are just a requirement for the assessor to see you from another party's perspectives . There should not be any worries as these references will be from your friends whom you know for years or those you are closed to.
Hi BellsBells
MCYS will not come so soon . First you must receive your HSR report , then you can identify the child either through contacts or agency. Once the child is identified , you need to bring the child to Singapore and get the biological parents 's consent for putting the child for adoption before you can apply for dependent pass at MCYS. With the dependent pass , then the court can process the adoption order. if I am not wrong , it is during the court proceeding then MCYS visit as they want to ensure that the child is settled down in our home and adoptive parents have done our best to protect the child safety for eg install proper window grilles, safety lock , safety plug etc.
Hope this helps to clear your doubts.
To others
I am collecting my child 's dependent pass next week then I will proceed to adoption order.
Hope that everything will be as smooth sailing as the earlier processes.
The two references are just a requirement for the assessor to see you from another party's perspectives . There should not be any worries as these references will be from your friends whom you know for years or those you are closed to.
Hi BellsBells
MCYS will not come so soon . First you must receive your HSR report , then you can identify the child either through contacts or agency. Once the child is identified , you need to bring the child to Singapore and get the biological parents 's consent for putting the child for adoption before you can apply for dependent pass at MCYS. With the dependent pass , then the court can process the adoption order. if I am not wrong , it is during the court proceeding then MCYS visit as they want to ensure that the child is settled down in our home and adoptive parents have done our best to protect the child safety for eg install proper window grilles, safety lock , safety plug etc.
Hope this helps to clear your doubts.
To others
I am collecting my child 's dependent pass next week then I will proceed to adoption order.
Hope that everything will be as smooth sailing as the earlier processes.
bellsbells
Member
Flash: Thanks flashy for the insites. Did u go through adoption agency? What should I do now still need to wait 5 weeks for the hsr
Yup I went through a local agency.
I am not sure about the waiting time for HSR as I got my report within a few days after the visit .
Well, I guess meanwhile you should be enjoying time with your partner and look out for items for baby. When baby comes, you will be terribly busy and no time to do anything else. Well, that 's what I feel, as all my energy will be on my son these days.
I am not sure about the waiting time for HSR as I got my report within a few days after the visit .
Well, I guess meanwhile you should be enjoying time with your partner and look out for items for baby. When baby comes, you will be terribly busy and no time to do anything else. Well, that 's what I feel, as all my energy will be on my son these days.
vickysmommy
Member
Hey Flasy & Project A, Congratulations on your little bubs! I hope you have found a routine for yourselves. Your bodies must be in a state of shock from the night feeds, night poos, etc! I remember I was tiredly happy then! But it's all good, you'd agree!
Hi December, May I suggest that you attend a Pre-Adoption Workshop: Fei Yue has one on 12 April and ACOSS has one on 28 April.
Fei Yue: Tel: 6416 2167
ACOSS: Tel: 6295 1011
There, you should be able to obtain the information you need.
JNNQD, I guess it's different strokes for different folks... let's just hope that all will put the child(ren)'s needs in first priority; not their 'face', their next 'acquisition', etc.
Hi Bells2, I think besides the aesthetics and safety of your home, which can be easily remedied, they are also looking into your emotional readiness to have a child in your lives. So childproof your home as best you can, I think, tidying the wires with cases you can buy from Ikea and putting child-safety plugs & securing your bookshelves should be ok, unless MCYS specifically pointed out to something else.
They will visit again when baby has been at home with you for 2 mths or so.
Flasy is right, just enjoy your 'last days' of just the 2 of you for life will never be the same again... in a great way, of course!
Last note on agencies: pls make sure that you engage one who also looks into the welfare of birthmom to avoid complications. Birthmom should have been counseled on her decision before and after; afterall, it'll probably be the hardest decision she has had to make in her life. There are some which many in our community have worked positively with namely Lotus and Greenhouse although I have not personally contacted them before.
Have a great weekend!
Andrea
Hi December, May I suggest that you attend a Pre-Adoption Workshop: Fei Yue has one on 12 April and ACOSS has one on 28 April.
Fei Yue: Tel: 6416 2167
ACOSS: Tel: 6295 1011
There, you should be able to obtain the information you need.
JNNQD, I guess it's different strokes for different folks... let's just hope that all will put the child(ren)'s needs in first priority; not their 'face', their next 'acquisition', etc.
Hi Bells2, I think besides the aesthetics and safety of your home, which can be easily remedied, they are also looking into your emotional readiness to have a child in your lives. So childproof your home as best you can, I think, tidying the wires with cases you can buy from Ikea and putting child-safety plugs & securing your bookshelves should be ok, unless MCYS specifically pointed out to something else.
They will visit again when baby has been at home with you for 2 mths or so.
Flasy is right, just enjoy your 'last days' of just the 2 of you for life will never be the same again... in a great way, of course!
Last note on agencies: pls make sure that you engage one who also looks into the welfare of birthmom to avoid complications. Birthmom should have been counseled on her decision before and after; afterall, it'll probably be the hardest decision she has had to make in her life. There are some which many in our community have worked positively with namely Lotus and Greenhouse although I have not personally contacted them before.
Have a great weekend!
Andrea
"Hi all, I just had my home visit today. Now I am abit concern n need some advice. My counsellor told me that mcys will do their own accessing when the child is identified and applying for dependent pass. Just curious any one have any idea what the mcys will look for? I hv quite a few book shelfs and as I bought my place secondhand alot of my power points are lower type but not consealed so what should I do? Need to relay everything but if the power points r higher doesn't it have dangling wires? I mean I can't possibly conceal everything right. Plus I have quite a few desktop computers and laptops and all adds to the wires hmm.. Maybe someone who has adopted can advice what the mcys will look for."
The MCYS interview somewhat mirrors that which leads up to your HSR. Not to worry excessively as MCYS looks at stuff more important than just dangling wires and powerpoints.
The MCYS interview somewhat mirrors that which leads up to your HSR. Not to worry excessively as MCYS looks at stuff more important than just dangling wires and powerpoints.