Child Adoption


After rounds of TCC with intensive TCM and failed iVF, it still failed. I am fated that I can't have a biological child with someone I loved. Time is ticking by and I really need to make my mind soon. Whenever I see children playing, crying and laughing , a feeling came by when is my turn? All my friends and relatives had children....except us. The feeling sucks even we can consealed our expression. We are both healthy adults but can't believe that we fall in the group of unexplained infertity. Nevertheless, life still have to go on. Adoption is the only way to fulfill our dream now.
 
Hi flassy,

That means both my husband and i got to have one relative referee each? Can siblings be a referee?

Thanks.
 
hi Jass76, sorry to hear about that. I too had an unexplained infertility. Sometimes, I wish that there's a problem which can be fixed. Like many of my gfs who got pregnant after a surgery. Sorry to hear that you can't conceive. I hope you will be a parent one day. Attend a pre-adoption workshop and see how you feel about it.Don't rush into it. Think about it carefully. The disappointment of not being able to conceive will not go away with adoption. I was quite surprise that I still feel disappointment. However, I'm definitely happier! I love my child so much and would like to think that there's no difference to whether I have my own biological child.
 
Thanks for the reply. I had attend the talk held by touch last year. I am giving myself till end of this year.
I simply need a stop to our disappointment and tears for the past few years .
 
hi adoptive parents
We read this forum with joy for those whom have adopted.
We have gotten our HSR from Touch, and are looking forward to adopt. We have called an agency and apparently, they have babies on hand for us to view and we are sceptical abt how are they able to bring the babies in which is not the proper MCYS procedure. Though there are not many agencies in sg, can someone that has good experiences in sucessful adoption recommends a agency for us? would appreciate your advice on what to look out in the process?
 
"On the age of the adopted child, can we decided it or it depends on what are available at that time?"

the age of the child is dependent when he/she is birthed. if i read you correctly, you actually mean to ask if you can choose to adopt a child of a specific age.

if that is so, yes as you would probably be seeing visiting a few agencies to look for a potential child.

wish you all the best in your endeavours.
 
Hi Andrew,

We adopted our healthy & beautiful baby gal through Singapore Adoption Agency.

We would like to share our experience with you on Mark Lin as a individual.

Initially when we signed the contract with him, he used Singapore Adoption Agency together with a partner named John.

Honestly with you, we went through alot of hassle, inconvenience & anger with Mark Lin but the whole matter were resolved by his partner John.

They broke their partnership with each other & Mark now named his company as Sing-Viet Baby Adoption & John is still holding on to Singapore Adoption Agency.

Hope this message clarify the 2 separate companies.

Feel free to contact Esther at 9750-6642 for more clarifications.

Jack & Esther
 
Hi Andrea Yee (vickysmommy, thanks for the wonderful advice. I will go down to ikea to find those for hidding wires. Just curious is it those that looks like pipe with where you can coil the wires together ? will the baby Pull the whole bunch instead ? hahaha... i mean i must be asking a very silly qtn. i manage to find those table corners and cabinet locks but it's the wires that i still could not find a solution as i really have lots of them. Hubby says it's easier to fence up the hall with a play area so baby could stay within the boundaries with cushioned flooring. anyway i am still waiting for the report. but after that will be agency ... anyway did it without agency ? am still weighing the pros and cons any suggestions
 
Hi Andrew, welcome & I wish you all the best as you await your baby.

Although I don't hv first hand experience in dealing with adoption agencies, our friends from this community had good experiences with mainly 2: Lotus & Greenhouse.

To check with the rest, pls check with them with regards to birthmom ; if they have bn counseled.

Also important to locate & engage in an experienced adoption lawyer.

All the best!
 
thanks all, we've already successfully adopted our precious through another agency. glad no one else had to go through the same ordeal as us. moreover, we personally witnessed and experienced the scumbag's scam in ho chih minh.
can't say much about john as we've had minimum contact with him
 
To: Agents

No offence. I believe if anyone need info from agents, they will contact you directly. It will be more productive for adoptive parents to share experiences here in this forum. I trust that all adoptive parents are able to make informed decisions and sensible judgements.
 
hello all! i just found this group. after reading the earlier messages i have a rough idea of how adoption works. i went thru 2 failed IVFs. i'm hoping to try another round and also have thoughts of adopting locally. and from reading here i gotta know that my marriage have to be at least 5 years. so i have to wait for another 2 yrs. may i know how much does the adoption process cost?
 
I have called Touch and was told that they don't do local adoption? Could anyone of you be kind to tell me who I should go to then, please? Thank you.
 
Hi all, i know this topic is quite different for my case, but anyway, here it goes.

My gf is almost 26wks pregnant now,due to wrong diagnostic from the doctors, we only found it today, and abortion is not an option for 24wks onwards. and we have no means to raise it as you know... babies and houses are way too expensive.

we are planning to give it up for adoption, but unable to find any comprehensive links regarding this topic. so trying my luck here.

Now what i really need to know is... is giving birth in msia and sg the same? do we have to bear the delivery fees?

im 26 singaporean, she's 22 malaysian, we're unwed.
 
Yippy I just got my hsr approved today and manage to get our report today. And today is also our wedding anniversary ! I can go looking out for lovely bb. Now I am So eager but uhhh where to start. Looking to adopt now
 
Chongxiang & girlfriend, you found the right thread. My prayers are with you & thank you for keeping your baby under this circumstance.

Pls discuss this very carefully as it is a life changing decision for all parties. If you need Counselling to guide you towards the best decision, do contact Touch 6317 9993 or Fei Yue 6593 6491. They will guide you & see that baby joins the most suitable family.

Meantime, pls do take care of yourselves.

Andrea

(btw, yr private message isn't turned on)
 
Hi Bells, i'm afraid to reject such personal contacts. I want to make sure it is a legit company with good reviews, and everything is legal and goes smoothly.

Thanks Andrea, as much as we want to keep it, we have absolute no means to provide for the baby girl.

I have got a reply from Faithful Adoption Services, http://www.faithful.com.sg/
Anyone has any opinions on it?
 
Hi Bells, sorry i thought you were selling adoption service.
If you are genuine on adoption, i guess we can consult it via a reputable agency.

*PM enabled
happy.gif
 
Chongxiang , I think u n gf better go for counseling before giving up also as she is unwed and malaysian the bb even born in sg is considered malaysian. U may want to talk to Christina from lutheren community services 64634734 or mcys or kkh. Kkh have a social work counsellor Caroline chai 63943091. Even if your gf deliver in kkh they will still call up mcys for the next adoptive parent in queue. All adoptive parents will have valid hsr reports.
 
Hi Bells, yes we are prepared to go for counseling, but we need to find a good agency for that and do the rest for us.

As you can see, i am still quite new to this. The first step is to head down to an agency for more information.

Is there a policy guideline for all adoption agency? Because some i see is that they will not allow you to have any contact information of the adoptive parents, and some will.
And my greatest question will be the hospital charges for giving birth... we can hardly even afford it, and that goes to show how financial incapable we are to raise the kid..
 
Chong , you dont go to adoption agency for counselling , you need to go to one of the accredited agency from mcys website as they are accrdited by sg government side to conduct interviews and counselling . places like lutheren , touch, feiyue are all accredited centres from mcys.gov.sg do check it out and call up. If your gf needs a shelter i know of a pastor who runs a home for these girls. As much as u wanted to give up the child i think u should also look into the welfare of your gf that she can take the sepration from her bb.
 
Hi All,

Just want to announce/broadcast that our bb gal from Vietnam have sucessfully obtain her DP.

Hopefully we can obtain her Singapore Birth cert soon....without much hassle.

Jack & Esther
 
Hi All,

Its been quite a while..
To Andrea, Vanilla_Latte, Sunshine & Iwantitvmuch, Thanks for the concern, prayers and advices.
My baby is 10 mths old today. And thank God its been peaceful eversince the last incident. Esp, when the police stepped in.However, I'm still keeping my fingers crossed. I can't move out from my current hse as I just moved in couple of mths back.

TBH, I won't deny that, without them, i wouldn't be carrying my angel in my arms. True, deep inside my heart, I felt sorry for the mother and i am thankful to her for the beautiful gift.As much as I do, I hope they too would understand that things happened for a million of reasons.I tried to understand her loss and all. On the day we brought back the bb, I thanked her and told her to move on and whatnot.

on top of that, i think that the Agency that we dealt with are not being that transparent. In total, we've forked out almost 28K but in the receipt(in total as filed in) It was stated as only 22K. The agency asked for 2K upon identifying the bb, upon the arrival of the bb, the agency asked for another 3K (for confinement expenses) all these were given their official receipts.Even so, its not recorded as in the the documented receipts.Well, its not really about the money.. yes its a huge amount.. but its all worth it! I just wished that the agency would be more transparent.
 
hi april,

great to hear that your ordeal is over. would you mind sharing which agency is it for the benefit of us forummers?
 
Hi April, I'm really happy to hear tt things hv more or less settled for your family. Enjoy yr baby!! Start planning for her first bday party! Pls do check in with the agency tt the case is closed properly.
U take care n hv a fab weekend.
Andrea
 
Hi all

thanks for the well wishes..
@ Andrew.. I don't really think its appropriate to reveal it here. I pm u soon
happy.gif


If ever, we decide to go for the second one.. we'll avoid the agency.

Anyway, Jack & Esther, congrats.. you'll love every waking moments in the wee hour changing diaper, feeding and singing sweey lullaby!!

@ Chong: Hi, understand your predicament. I wish you & partner all the best.As much as i, myself wanted children of our own, upon making the decision to adopt our bb girl, it came to us that ' Perhaps its fated that we will raise someone else's as our own' and we are trully blessed to be given this oportunity.

as adviced by few of our fellow forummers, pls go for 'before' & 'after' counselling. As ur partner .. and you are relatively young, perhaps there might be a change of heart upon looking at ur bb upon delivering her to this world.. meantime, stay healthy and always think positive it'll help the bb too!
 
Hi,

I'm new here. And am surprised to see this thread. I never expect that this can be found on motherhood. Pls pardon me, as i always thought this site is always for mother-to-be.

I m really glad to see this. Really. My hubby and I hv been trying to hv kids but to no avail. And now we are considering the possibility of adoption. Surfing the net and found this.

Hence, I m not sure if anyone can advice me how shld i get started or learn more abt adoption. I surf the net and understand need to do some tests to qualify. But all-in-all, what does the process entails, how long is the process etc?

Many heartfelt thks in advance!
 
Hey all,

Jack & Esther: congratulations! Exciting days for you ahead - enjoy every moment with your baby. Take loads of pics!

Welcome to this thread, Chloe! If you look at previous recent postings, you'll see several postings on how to go about adopting in S'pore.

May I introduce all at this juncture to positive adoption language: http://www.adoptivefamilies.com/pdf/PositiveLanguage.pdf

Put up for adoption not give away
Birthparents, not real parents
Have a look at the above link when you can & begin incorporating them in your household and sharing it with those around you, ok.?
happy.gif


Btw, actress Charlize Theron has just adopted a baby
happy.gif


Good nite!

Andrea
 
Hi April / Andrea,

Thank you for your well wishes! We (hubby & myself)are enjoying every precious moment with our baby gal after more than 10 years wait of trying to conceive ourselves but to no avail.

I have read your story & wish the bad stuff is all over for you now.

I share the same sentiment when you wrote to Chong about their bb.

Hope we can share more of our happy moments in this forum.

Take Care!
 
Hi All,

Today I have received a message from Faithful as mentioned below:-

We have an Indonesian Chinese/Malay boy who will be 3 years old in July. He is here currently, and will depart for Jakarta in early April. Please advise us if you wish to adopt him?

Anyone interested?

Esther
 
Hi Everybody,

Just to update you all, last Friday I have done the home visit with Touch. And mostly I will be receiving the Draft tomorrow. Actually was planning to adopt Malaysian Chinese baby boy.

Another good news is that I have adopted a local baby while doing my HSR report. God Bless that my friend's friend is giving her daughter up for adoption and was born yesterday.

I was recommended by my lawyer about one agency that does adoption so I went to them for the legal paperwork. And I heard from the lady that they have a Malaysian Chinese girl for adoption and seems her intake of babies from Malaysia is quite strong. If anyone wants to try this Agency can email me and I will pass you their contact. [email protected] =)
 
Hi,

We are keen to adopt a newborn baby but we are afraid that the newborn may end up with developmental issues. We already have a special need child and cannot afford to have another.

So we are just wondering if there has been adoptive parents who had ended up with a special need child through adoption?
 
Hi Andrea Yee (vickysmommy)., thanks for sharing the info about positive language.
Have also identified a baby but need to wait till mid may for bb to come over for us to apply dependent pass. Already missing baby. Can i know from successful adoptive parent whether we can have custody of the baby when applying for dependent pass ? by the way the mcys will come to check once we apply for dependent pass ? with dependent pass can baby travel with us overseas ? hmm... how long is the court order gonna take any idea ?
 
Hmmm.... So mean time we can have custody of the bb? What about when applying for dependent pass we r allowed to have hv bb with us?
 
I'll be getting my HSR report in this few days. I have been reading the post here for the past few months and I have gain much knowledge after reading through. Thank you for those who have done the sharing, appreciate very much. On hand I have three adoption agencies that I would like to deal with but I have yet to speak to them. May I know after speaking to them should I choose one that I am comfortable with and let them do the matching or should I let all three do it? What if all have it at the same time that matches my preference ? I will feel bad of doing that. Can anyone advise me? Thanks!
 
Hi Joyful,

Call them & find out if they need you to place deposit before finding a suitable bb for you.

Some agencies do not need you to place deposit with them & they can start finding a suitable bb for you & once they have, they will call you & ask you if you want to take a look or they can send you photo.

Therefore no obligations at all.

Hope this message help.

Wish you all the best!

Esther
 
Dear guys,

So sad i had that local baby for 6 days and the mother took her back and sell to someone whom offer her higher price... i paid for hospital bills, and agent fees. lucky she took it back before i sign with lawyer... very bad experience... highly dont recommand adopt local baby.

Bells: is ita a private adoption you no need HSR report. but if you ask a agency to look for a local or foreign baby you need a HSR report. Lucky i nv give up my HSR report if not i got to redo it again... i just got my HSR report yesterday. May god bless me this time.
 


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