Child Adoption

Chris,

Happy New Year! So good to hear from you again. It must be one of the most fantastic New Year for you and dear wife in many years with baby Princess as the 'star' attraction
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I wish this can happen to us next Lunar New Year too! Coincidentally, my hubby's brother resides in KL and my mum in law in Penang, are you a Malaysian too?

By the way, how did you bring your baby across without a Singapore passport? My sister-in-law told us over the weekend that she can put us in touch with a teenage shelter in M'sia who have babies for adoption. But we are unsure of the process involved in bringing in a baby on your own. Would like to hear your experience. Care to share?
 


Hi Angel,

I am Singaporean and my wife is Malaysian, hence the trip to KL for CNY.

Our daughter already had a valid Indonesian Passport to bring her to Singapore and we used that to apply for her dependant pass. Now with the Singapore passport to be collected next Monday, we can safely keep the Indonesian Passport for good!!!

I dont understand what you mean by "bringing in a baby on your own"? You will definitely need a valid Malaysian passport if you want to bring the baby into Singapore but it cannot be done by yourself or your husband as it will seem odd. Why odd? Well, two Singaporeans holding valid Singapore passport bringing in a foreign baby who is holding a valid Malaysia passport. I think it would be safer and raise less queries at the immigration counter if the baby was brought in my another Malaysian passport holder.

You will also defintiely require a formal letter of consent for adoption from the biological parents of the baby. This is a MUST have!!

You also got to be careful with these teenage shelters. You got to ensure that ALL their documents are valid before having any dealings with them.
 
Hi Angel,

Is your husband a M'sian? If yes, have you ever thought of doing the adoption in M'sia itself? But then your child will be a M'sian citizen. And you won't have to go thru' the HSR hustle. Maybe you can check up on procedures for adoption in M'sia - but that is only if either one of you is M'sian. That's what my sis did - her husband's a M'sian - and her second adopted child was from M'sia and is a M'sia citizen. Not sure of her plans to convert her son's citizenship though, as she currently lives and works in China.

Hi Chris,

Congratulations! It's complete now!
 
Hi all,

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!!

To all going thru the same process, hang in there and dont give up! Also be careful with the agencies you are using...it is a business transaction after all for these companies.
 
Hi Catherine

my husband used to be M'sian but now Singaporean. And we've alredy started our HSR so will continue with it. We can adopt a M'sian Chinese baby through private adoption agents here or through the teenage shelter recommended by my SIL in KL. But the thing is we have to figure out how to legally get the baby out of M'sia to S'pore to jumpstart the proper adoption process. The lawyer we consulted says he does not know the procedures to bring a M'sian baby into Singapore, so now we're stuck...and he mentioned something about we've to 'go to High Court ourselves to wait', which part of the adoption process is that?

Chris, if you don't mind, I'll like to speak with you on your experience. I'll email you later to give you my contact. Please call me ya? Thanks.

sigh...submitted my forms 1 week ago but haven't heard anything from them...
 
Hi Angel,

For your HSR reports which you submitted, what happens is that the accreditated agencies need to assign the interview process to a counsellor who will contact you soon (hopefully) to schedule a face-to-face interview with you and your husband. The wait is also probably becuase of the CNY holidays. If you do not get a call end of this week, you should contact the agency again to get a date and time.

My suggestion to you for Malaysian babies is to perhaps secure the services of a Malaysian lawyer who will look after your interest and can advise you of how to go about the whole process in Malaysia. You will definitely need the letter of consent from the biological parents of the Malaysia child + the Malaysian passport needs to be applied to bring the child legally into Singapore.

Besides the above, there might be other documents to be processed between the teengage shelter and the local state authority which only they can advise.

Email me you contact number and I will touch base with you as soon as I get it.
 
Thanks Chris for your call this afternoon. Appreciate your helpful advice. By the way, Trans Centre contacted me today. We'll go for our 1st interview on 25 Feb (Mon). She says it'll last 4 hours. Wonder what questions they'll ask. Care to share anyone?

Tomorrow's Valentines'. Hope everyone will have a good day with your loved ones. Happy Valentines'!
 
Hi Angel,

The counsellor will be going through the same questions you answered in the HSR and obtain more details of your answers. She/he will probably probe on the background and why you answered the questions this way or that.

I dont think they are out to "fail" anyone but just to seek clarity on the desire. Just answer truthfully according to your answers submitted in the HSR. They are always open to clarification of your answers submitted.

Happy Valentine's Day to one and all too!
 
Hi Everyone,

I have been a silent reader of the forum since last Aug. Your experiences shared in this forum have prompted my husband and myself to proceed with our child adoption journey (which we have been contemplating for some time) in Oct 07. We are now proud parents of a chubby and cute 3-months old princess. Currently in the process of applying for birth cert and citizenship. I've finally decided to register as a user today as I hope to be able to share experiences and also learn from the group here.

Our HSR was done at Trans Centre. So, Angel, do let me know if you need any information.

Happy Valentine's Day to all!
 
Hi mlf,

Welcome! It's good to know that we have touched people who are not 'visible' as well!

Which agency did you use? Hope you can share your experience with us and other 'silent' ones.

Happy Valentine's to everyone!
 
Yes, WELCOME MLF!

so glad to know you did your HSR at Trans Ctr too! Was your assessor also Ms Lim? Your adoption process was rather fast, started in OCT 07 and already proud parents of 3mths baby. How long did the HSR take for you?
 
Hi all,

Guess I am quite lucky to be able to be a parent in such a short time.

The agency that brought our princess to us is Greenhouse Adoption Services. Mr Low from Greenhouse has recommended that we use Trans Ctr when we first approach him for information in Oct.

We submitted our forms to Trans on 15 Oct. 1st interview at Trans on 13 Nov lasted more than 5 hours! Our assessor is Priscilia. 2nd interview took place at our home on 28 Nov and it lasted about 4 hours. We collected our HSR within 2 weeks after the interviews.

Greenhouse happened to have a 2 months old baby girl available and arranged for us to meet the baby in early Jan. Well, everything just zoomed by once we fell in love with the baby on that day.
 
Hi all,

Another piece of good news to share....which is expected anyway. I have collected my daughter's Singapore passport this morning!! Hurray!! She now has a widely accepted passport to travel the world with her daddy and mummy!!

Opening ceremony of Ally's passport will be this weekend when we head off to JB for a short weekend trip!!
 
kao_clap.gif
How wonderful news! Congratulations. Does that mean all steps of your adoption process has concluded?

I thought Ally already travelled with you back to M'sia for CNY? What passport was she using then? Her original one?
 
Hi Angel,

Yup all done...or almost....just need to apply for the baby bonus from our Government!!
happy.gif
.

Yeah ally has travelled with us to KL for CNY and on that trip, its on her own original passport and under Dependant pass.

Now she is on her own with her own password and more importantly without the need for dependant pass!!
 
<font color="ff6000">Hi Chris,</font>
COngratulations AGAIN!!! Finally, everything are OVER!!!

Would like to share my experiences regarding the baby bonus, some authority mentioned that we will receive a letter abt the baby bonus within wks. But we waited for 2 mths with no valid!! My DH n i then go down to MCYS personally with docs, like IDs, our marriage cert., DD's BC n CC and a POSB Kids bank book(which i had opened for her, for her savings!) In my case, she is my 2nd child, so we r entitled upto S$2,250 instead of the usual S$3k(the 1st payment of S$750/- is for those early birds, who applied when their child is 3wks old.)

After MCYS, check our documents, they will then check our eligibility. Once approve, they will send us a letter, we will then bring this letter to the bank to open another a/c called Matching account. Government will match upto S$6k. So that means u put S$1k, they chip in another S$1k for u! u put S$6k, they put S$6k for u!!! We are now waiting for this approval letter for matching account.

i hope my information helps. I would like to let you ppl cut short the waiting time.
 
Dear VQ

thanks for sharing, very useful info indeed. Wonder why they did not send you notification to claim baby bonus even though your adoption process is officially completed. If you didn't go down to MCYS, then maybe you'll never get it! Chris, looks like you may have to pay a visit to MCYS soon too.

How come baby bonus for 2nd child is only $2250? Then 3rd child even lesser? I always thought govt encouraging more children? If we adopt, she will only be considered our 2nd child as our baby Ashley was given baby bonus since she was born alive and was issued a birth cert.

I wonder what's the ceiling for the matching account for 2nd child. Is it only 6k? Hmm, must check out the baby bonus website...
 
Hi,

I didn't know that getting the passport was such a big thing? I only got my son his passport last year when he turned 3 as I felt he was very ready to travel. We brought him to HK Disneyland.

As for Baby Bonus, I had no problems - mine was settled by e-mails and fax (for the documents). No need to go down as the government's database has all the info they need for verification. I did not qualify for the matching account thing as mine is the first child.
 
Hi all,

I have called MCYS and spoken to the Baby Bonus Officer yesterday. Was informned that they will be sending me the Baby Bonus Kit next month and if I want to start the process earlier than notification, I can still do so.

All I need to do was to provide copies of the following to the officer to verify eligibility:
- Marriage Certificate
- Baby's birth certificate
- Baby's Citizenship
- Couple's NRIC

So that is what I am doing next!

And yes Catherine...a passport "opening ceremony" is indeed necessary as it was a milestone in our daughter's adoption process. The passport process sort of officially ends the adoption phase as that was almost mean the end of documentation and court filings. We just wanted to go away for a weekend with her, although she has already been up and down KL many times with her own original passport.
 
Happy for you and your wife Chris. Finally over. Hope your whole family will enjoy the 'opening ceremony'
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we're waiting for our 1st HSR interview come Monday...4 hours, scary!
 
Hi moonfairysgp,

It's great to have a sister like yours. But I think such an arrangement will be difficult, especially for the child. He/she will definitely feel unwanted compared to his/her biological siblings - he/she may take a long time to understand (or worse, never) your situation. There is a risk that the child may also resent you for causing him/her to be in this position. I feel that such a situation is a potential ticking timebomb - both for you and child's relationship and yours and your sis's relationship.

That's what I feel...
 
Hi moonfairy
Well I had an auntie who did that. Now I'm not sure if it was the up bring but i did hear that her mum(2nd mum) really had a hard time with her. The girl really could not understand or couldn't accept what had happen. I think u really have to be very careful on this matter. I'm sure u will tell that her mum is your sis right? Or were u planning not to tell her?
 
Hi moonfairysgp,

You have a very interesting problem. It cannot be described as a big problem but arose out of sincere love and affection from your sister.

Adopting a child from a family member can be very complicated down the road and I am sure you would not want in any way to damage or destroy the good loving relationship you have with your sister.

It is defintiely different if something happens to them (touch wood!) which makes your nieces and nephews having no one else to care for them. In this case, it is perfectly ok to care and take over guardianship of the children.

Also giving up a child produce with love and given with love to a family member does not quite make sense. Its not like your sister is having serious financial hardship and will not be able to take good care of her 3rd baby. Looking at things down the road and if one day the child grows up and find out that she was given away for no better reason, the resentment will not only develop but it may be against her own biological parents.

Most babies made available for adoption from agencies are mostly because of financial problems. Plus it is also not like we will see the biological parents on a regular basis too right? In your case, you will see your sister every day of your life and so will your "adopted" daughter.

Something for your to consider....
 
Hi Guys
New to this thread. I wonder if anyone can tell me what is the cost of adoption fees in Singapore? I am currently residing in US and I am thinking of adopting as my next step if my next IVF round fail again. Also if any one of you have any recommendations on agencies in Sg?
thanks.
 
Hi moonfairysgp,

Most babies given up for adoption are girls - I suppose due to the Asian culture, people tend to want to keep their sons, no matter what.

I was lucky to be able to adopt a boy (my husband's preference), although we were open to take whichever gender came first.

I'm not sure what you meant by 'would it be any different'? Are you talking about costs? If yes, you would have to check with the agency. I don't think that the costs will be different.
 
When my husband and I started talking about adoption, we had thought that baby girls would be in greater supply cos asian families would prefer to adopt or keep sons but boy, were we wrong! The few adoption agents we rang up all told us there's a shortage of baby girls as the demand now is for girls and hence the prices of girls are now higher! We were taken by surprise as we too wanted our 1st child to be a baby girl. Apparantly, one agent even told us now he has 5 couples queueing for baby girls...
 
Dear moonfairy

yes, there were available baby boys for viewing at most agents but strangely no girls and we wanted a girl.

Chris, our 1st interview went very well and the next one would be a home visit which will take place next Friday (7 Mar). Also, good news to share! Just received an email from our contact in KL today informing us that there's a baby girl due to be born next month being put up for adoption by her mum as the baby's dad just passed away due to heart attack...we're excited by the possibility but sad for the baby.
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However, we also need your frank opinion - Since baby have a family medical history of heart attacks, will she be prone to one? Anyway, we've decided we will view the baby anyway. If this really works, we'll engage the help of the lawyer you recommended. Everything seems to be falling into place. Now, our days are filled with hope...
 
Hi Catherine
I browse through the archives rather quickly, and only saw these names being mentioned : Fox's, Shunfa, and Lotus. I don't know where to start looking for my options. Any one who has been through the whole process, willing to give a step by step guide to a newbie like myself?
thanks.
 
Hi mngal,

So far, it seems that those with good experiences were from Shunfa and Lotus and Mocha used King's. I suppose it'll be best if you call up the agencies, meet with the people, ask your questions and use the one that you are most comfortable with. Take note of Chris's earlier postings as to the details to look out for (mine was so smooth I did not have to grapple with any of these - lucky me). For other details such as the government requirements, go to the MCYS website http://app.mcys.gov.sg/web/home_main.asp. All the steps and details are there.

Hi moonfairy,

Each individual is different. We cannot generalize that boys are less emotional - my son cried at sad endings of shows/movies when he was less than 3 years old, he also cried when I told him how his grandpa died in a road accident (he had never met him) - all these before he turned 3!

Hi angel,

I guess you should ask doctors about such family history - get more info about the father's family history if possible, if not available, I suggest, to be on the safe side, not to adopt this one. Heart disease is usually hereditary and it could be difficult to tell in new-borns. I felt sad too when I brought my son home - sad for his mum and I actually felt bad and very emotional a while - it's like a double-edged sword, but thankfully, I got over it. Be patient and make careful decisions. And congrats on a smooth first interview... things are moving along... good for you!
 
Hi Angel,

Congratulations on the clearing the first interview!

About your query on the baby with possible hereditary problems, I do not think you need to be worried at this stage. It does not always mean that babies with hereditary problems will encounter the same fate as their biological problems. Such issues take time to manifest itself and the usual medical test may or may not detect it initially.

For all you know, the heart attack was caused by ill behaviour, eg. excessive smoking and drinking. Would you then consider that as being hereditary too?

You are being cautious now because you have the knowledge of how the baby’s father died, would the situation be any different if the baby was from an adoption agency who distorts the truth and inform you that the baby’s father died from a road accident instead of a heart attack. Because they know if they tell you the truth, you will think twice about it and then again, how are you to verify what the adoption agency say?

Perhaps you should just bring the baby for the entire medical test and see how it goes. Unless if the tests reveal a serious problem, then its your call how you want to handle it. Bear in mind that tests done for new born babies may not be accurate as they can sometimes be energetic during the tests which can possibly skew the results.

Also bear in mind that sometimes the possibility of a baby come to us from nowhere and its was never among the choices you have seen or carried. Seriously, Alessandra came to us from nowhere and was never in our plans as we always thought we need to go thru an adoption agency. So we were so focused on that route. So explore all possibilities and listen to your heart, cos sometimes that’s where God speaks to us.

Hope I am making sense in the above…
 
Dear Chris

of course you make sense, I understand every word you wrote...now we're waiting for our contact to find out more details such as the EDD (expected due date) of baby for us. We're also making enquiries with cord blood companies here on how to collect and store baby's cord blood from KL. Honestly, we are excited but we know the road ahead is still very long for us...
 
Hi Angle,

I totally agree with Chris, just follow your heart.You know the best what you really want.
But of cause still need to go for medical check up to see if everything is ok or not.

You know my BB girl medical report say that she have thalassemia but she is still very small and don't really know which type she have. When we first know the results we still think that it should be ok to adopt her cos we think that it is not a very serious type of deasese. This may be because my own family have this medical backgroud. Doctor has warn us that there is a type of thelassemia is very dangerous and the person who has it may only live 6-7 year. So he want us to go for another medical check up to see if it is ok or not. And the results still can not conclude what type of thelessemia she have. But doctor advice us that she should be OK.

Now we have her and we are happily living together and we think make a correct decision to adopt her.
 
Hi,

Concerning the 'follow your heart' thing, yes, do that to a certain extent. Don't ignore your head too. If the medical report shows up or suspects something, you may want to reconsider. Yes, it is very noble to adopt a baby which has a medical condition. But do consider this - if the child requires life-time medical treatment, do you have the financial resources to see him/her through? Are you able to take the mental and physical strain? Will there be resentment and regret later? It is true that even if the medical report turns out fine, other things (touch wood!) could develop later - this is a risk we have to take. That is what the medical report is for - otherwise, why bother to check before we bring the baby home? For me, I had told myself to draw a very distinct line between a 'yes' and a 'no' when it comes to bringing the right baby home. It's both for the child's and the adoptive family's own good. Did anyone read about the Dutch diplomat's family who adopted the Korean child? It's scary and sad.
 
Hi,

We never think that we are noble to adopt our girl before. Reason why we adopted her because we are quite confident that the thalassemia will not affect her to live normally when she growth up. This was advice by our doctor and also haif of our family member have this thalessmia but all of them live normally without any problem and did not depend on any medication. And the one who passed down this thalessmia to my family member is my father and now he is 94 yrs old and still very healthy.

Whether to adopt a child with medical history or not, its all depend on individual judgement.I guess the best is to consult doctor advice.
 
Is it possible for Singapore couples to adopt from Vietnam?

Is it true that Malaysians cannot adopt foreign babies?

I heard that the govt of NZ, UK and Australia will not issue assurance that the child will have citizenship when the adoption is finalised. Is it true.

I heard Malaysia, Indonesia and Philippines have residency rules for adoptive parents.

There are so much constraints for expatriates to adopt children in Singapore.

Can anyone share with me how they successful complete their adoption.

Thanks and I hope those who had success share their success tips with potential adoptive parents.
 
Hi Chelah,
I do know that NZ will not give citizenship to children who are adopted. As I am a nz citizen, how if the children does stay in nz for 2 years there may be a chance.
Hope this helps
 
Dear Elizabeth,
If NZ cannot grant citizenship, then MCYS cannot accept the home study report. That means an NZ expatriate in Singapore cannot legalize the adoption in Singapore. Correct me if I am wrong.
 
Well it all depends on what ur citizenship is.
I know if u are an expat you will have to check with ur country first....like get the police clear
 
hi everyone

bad news. The baby whom we're intending to adopt, initially middlemen told us her dad died of heart attack. This morning, I manage to contact the babysitter directly and she told me he actually committed suicide due to being heavily in debts.
sad.gif
complicated story.

Well, the past 1 week, hubby and I have been eagerly waiting for baby's arrival, hunting for baby items to do up the room etc. Now with this news, our hopes are shattered. Personally, I don't think I want a baby whose father just ended his own life. Can imagine the trauma and emotional stress baby's mum underwent while carrying her.
sad.gif
I feel sad for the unborn baby but we are not Saviours to the world, if we're spending so much to adopt a baby, it isn't too much to ask for a healthy baby (physically and emotionally) or at least one from a relatively uncomplicated background right?
sad.gif
Honestly, am very confused and disheartened now...feel sad at yet another closed door and dunno how to tell middlemen about our decision. Maybe it's God way of hinting to us that we shouldn't adopt as we are never meant to be parents.
sad.gif
 
Hi Angel,

I accidentally stumbled upon this thread...

I hope you will give the baby a chance, if you are to adopt a baby from a orphanage you will never really know what happened to the biological parents, for all you know, 1 of them may have passed away unnaturally. Perhaps the baby's mother does not want to keep her for all the sad memories she brings. However for you, her background can be put behind once she leave KL...

Sorry I don't know why I come to this thread, I don't know why I posted but I felt strongly that I should post something, at least I tried...
 
Hi Angel,
I just read what u said and wanted to add a few things. It is never the childs fault what goes on with the parents. But what I think u should really think about is why are u adopting? To give a child a fighting chance in this world, to love them when there is no-one too love them, adopting is never to replace or pretend that they are really yours. I mean u really need to know in the inside of u if this child is yours to start off with. God is the father of all and he would never reject any child so I really sorry if this sounds hard but I really think u have to think hard on why u are adopting. In an adopting I always believe it works both ways the child never asked to be adopted into a family its us who chose them, so if ur heart is not for the child and giving them the best then may be u are not ready.
sorry for being hush....but I am very passionate about adoption as I have also adopted a little girl
 
Hi Angel,

I'm surprised that you feel this way. How is it that it's 'God's way of hinting' to you that you were never meant to be parents?

To me, this baby is the PERFECT candidate for adoption. He/she needs a loving and complete home. We can only guess the mum's emotional stress (maybe the r/ship with the father is not good? endless 'maybe' here) and we can also only guess if she is indeed emotionally stressed while carrying the baby, the baby will be emotionally affected.

If another baby comes along, will you wonder what his/her background is? I would say that most babies who are given up comes from 'complicated' backgrounds - why else would they be given up?

I'm not saying that you should adopt this baby - please don't if you do not feel right about her at all.

As Elizabeth mentioned, do think about your reasons for wanting to adopt and whether you have a lot of love to give.

Adopting a child and bringing him/her up, is a long emotional journey. You must be prepared for that. The hardest part will be the beginning when you feel a sense of loss for biological parents (especially the mother), pity for the child, wondering if you have come between the child and the parents - at least that's what I felt. And I always remind myself that I ask for this child to be in our family and not vice versa. Lots of emotional stuff going on... you have to be prepared.
 
hi angel

i agree with what the previous mums said in their posts.

i think you and your HB should seriously consider if you truely want to be parents. God is not closing the door but think of Him wanting you to shower extra love on the baby.

pls consider carefully before you contact the middleman.
 
<font color="ff6000">Hi Angel,</font>
I think you should reconsider your adoption decision. Like <font color="ff6000">Frisbee</font> mentioned: If you adopt a baby from an orphanage, you will never really know what had happened to the biological parents!

If you have so many considerations, you will not be able to find ur "perfect baby". You will find yourself "picking" reason of rejecting the baby instead.

Sorry but you keep me thinking of whether, will you be able to love ur adopted baby if u have ur biological child in future.

Lastly, i hope you will seriously reconsider your adoption decision with ur DH. Please remember: Adoption is not the medicine to ease your desperation of having a baby. Perhaps, you are not ready for adoption.

Or maybe, there is a miscommunication. You dont mean it this way at all.
 


I am very sad to read that all of you are questioning our intent to adopt. None of you have buried your children and never in your wildest dream can imagine the immense grief and heartache that my hubby and I have gone through. Yet we picked ourselves up and moved on, even plucked up courage to embark on this adoption journey as we know we are capable of loving and giving a future to a child not our own.

I am not finding the perfect baby neither are we looking for a replacements but being so new to adoption, we have our ideals - we would like to adopt a baby from a couple who has to give up their child due to poor financial crisis. In fact, we don't mind travelling to some poor obscure villages in China, visiting the families who are giving their babies up for adoption, speaking to the parents and assuring them their baby's in good hands. In our case, the baby's father's violent death took us by shock. We can't help but question how the mum took the news and whether it would adversely affect the child. Yes, if we adopt from an orphanage, we would not know the child's background but sometimes, ignorance is bliss.

Initially when we heard baby's father died of heart attack, we didn't reject her. Infact, we felt compassion and even discussed with cord banks here the possibility of arranging blood collection kit to be sent all the way to KL to collect her cord blood upon delivery. All these arrangements were done even before we see the baby. So how can all of you make such hasty judgement that we are not ready to adopt?

This forum has been my source of inspiration and support all these while in our decision to adopt but I guess I am too foolish to post such honest struggles here out in the open to be criticised. But thank you for posting anyway.
 
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