Child Adoption

Janella and iwantitvmuch,
Yes it is true that IVF will affect our cholestrol level to go up due to the high protein food we need during the jabs and 2ww. I know as i ever went for my regular check up before and after my IVF...it shows different result. U ladies don hv to go it again...so good...mine last one will be next mth..hope there will be miracle.
Don worry abt the cholestrol...shouldn't be any problem with the adoption. If they asked just tell them u just went thru IVF that will affect for the early few mths.

Dream,
Don worry Alice will attend to 1st come 1st serve basis. Anyway i heard there will be a boy and a girl tmr. So she may let u choose. Did u tell her u wan a child before the 7th luner month? If u the one she mention then she will keep one for u. Looks like my news very up to date hor...hehehe

Yuli,
Did u go MCYS for yr girl dependent pass today? I was there too. I was the one suppose to be 1st to go but i was late...
I just change my bb milk again...told Alice my concern...she recommend me Nan 1 as not so heaty. My little girl making me crazy...really worried abt her diet.
 


Yuli,
Both of us really like kids alot...we don mind to have another 1 or 2 in our family...so i must plan now mah...the more the merrier...hehehe
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Blesswbb,
I am so happy to read your message! It really cheers me up.
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Although I believe that Alice prioritizes me, I have doubts sometimes...You may have heard my story from her and "pretend" that you never heard it...? We must meet. Somehow, we know so much of each other but haven't met...

I also knew that she was busy yesterday and could not go to Malaysia as she had to attend to dependant's pass but never imagined it was for you! although i should have guessed since you mentioned she came to your house...she said she had 3 cases on that day...i also wonder whether Yuli was the second case as well...

I have not told Alice about the Lunar thing. I just hope everything will be settled by then. Still have high hopes
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your daughter was with you when she was 10 days old, right? So, I am counting down the days...

BTW, do you know what happened to the twin boys? I never asked her about them.

Iwantitvmuch,
It is great that you have the support from your boss. I haven't told my boss yet. Haven't decided yet on when to tell him. He is just back from holiday and has lots of things on his mind. So, I just wait for a few days for him to settle down. I am not sure whether I am entitled to any. I hope to have at least 1 month of adoption leave and I would take 2-3 weeks of my own leave...

To all sisters
We should try to organise something and meet up each other
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What do you think?
 
I want to meet up after my bb arrives. Else, I will be too excited seeing everyone's bb.

We really have a very good forum here. Thanks to Shasha, BlesswBB and Yuli for sharing. and dream for your questionssss. hee hee
 
iwantitvmuch,
I can understand how you feel. and of course, we always have this forum.

Happy my questionsss...are useful to others. I guess I am the inquisitive type...
 
Hi all

I am so upset. My husband is a Malaysian but Singapore PR. One of the documents TOUCH needs is a No Criminal record Certificate from Malaysia that he has not committed any crimes. Yesterday he went to the Malaysia Consulate to put in his request and was told that it would take 2 to 3 months!

So we can only submit the HSR forms after he has received this certificate. Maybe it will take longer cos' we know how the Malaysian authorities work.After we have submitted the forms, it will take another 2 months or so. I don't want to wait so long! I must call TOUCH to find out what can be done.

Dream, iwantitvmuch and Covenant123

I am so excited for the three of you! I think you three will be hodling a baby in your arms real soon.

Yuli and BlessBB

Another double joy for you both!
 
Janella,
Yes, please call Touch. I hope they could proceed with your HSR first and approval be subject to this "no criminal record" record certificate from Malaysia.

otherwise, you may want to call some agency and ask for their advice and see whether it is really a compulsory document. Wouldn't the Singapore no criminal record from Singapore be sufficient? especially if he has been in Singapore for such a long time. How long have your hubby stayed in Singapore?

I hope things will sort out soon. Ladies, any other advice to Janella?
 
Blesswbb, yes I went 2collect DP ytd. Were u the one with nice long wavy hair? I was thinking, wah, nice hair n my nxt thot was, wah, this couple look so young, compared 2 me! that must b u n yr husby, rite?

Janella, sori 2 hear abt the possible delay. Dream's suggestion is a gd one, c if TOUCH can go ahead with interviews, home visit etc 1st while waitg 4 the Mysian documents. Meanwhile, my suggestion is, don't look @ it as a delay, use the time 2 do stuff u want 2 do, eg, travel 2 child-unfriendly places, spa, catch up with old friends, go 2 the movies, hv nice romantic dinner, etc cos, once bb comes, all that is put on the back burner! I know how u feel, how u want the process 2 begin, how u want that bb in yr arms.....but now that bb is here with me, i wish i had done some stuff first cos our daughter came so quickly, it really caught us off guard n i didnt complete many tasks at work n i wish husby n I had time 4 a short trip away. I'm not saying I regret hving bb, all I'm suggesting is use this 'extra' time 4 your 'me' time ;)

Iwantitvmuch, hello again! Dun worry abt cholesterol cos mine like super high but we also pass HSR, hahaha!

Dream, r u looking 2 adopt locally or from Malaysia? Alice was telling me abt how she had promised a client a bb then coupla days later, the birth mum while still in hosp, after giving birth, changed her mind n refused 2 give her child up.

Abt Adoption Leave, the MCYS officer whom I met ytd informed me that I can clsim Adoption leave fr govt if my co. agrees 2 give me leave. She said it's not an entitlement but something that the co. has 2 agree on so Iwantitvmuch, yr co. very good leh!
 
yuli,
I am waiting for bb from Malaysia but my case is quite similar. I am now waiting everyday for alice news!

It is great that you met blesswbb! At least you know how she looks like!
 
Yuli,
Haha... Ya that's me with the long wavy hair. We young?! Haha U must be kidding. We already coming to our 40 soon. I heard fm alice u slim down alot after yr bb is here. So good hor don need slimming centre save money hehe.

Dream,
How is it? Did alice call u?
Oh yes I really wish to see u all. We should arrange meeting every time a new bb is adopted here. Y not wait till both u & iwantitvmuch bb arrive & settle down with yr little ones we arrange to meet up. How abt that?

Sorry janella can't help much on this. Maybe u should follow war dream & yuli suggest , check with touch whether they can proceed with the rest while waiting for the clearance report fm Malaysia.
 
wah, yuli and BlesswBB, you both were so close to identifying each other. hee hee. so divine.

I'm so excited about the meeting up. Okay, i will hurry some more in my process. My hubby got his medical report too! I think I will take some time off to submit the package. Hand deliver to Touch better hor?? There are so many forms. I think I have to label them properly. How would Touch go through the stack of documents eh? Any tips on how to rearrange.

ya, my company is very good. I guess bigger organisation but alot of stress and long hours in this place. So, the adoption leave make up for it.
Yuli, I hope you can at least take 1 month off from your company. They should be understanding. 1 month is always better than 4 months maternity leave. If cannot, also don't stress. Just forget abt it. Leaving for home on time willl be good enough.
I think I will not go to Alice as she might be too tied up with your requests. My hubby's friend also has another contact at Serangoon Gardens. So, I will go to that and see if I like the agent. if you all heard about that agency and have any feedback, PM me please. Actually, I should also speak to Alice too. Maybe I'll be more comfy with her as you all are so happy with her. Since girls are in demand, I think I will adopt a naughty boy first. :))
 
Hi everyone, wow.. tis thread is moving v fast now.
BlesswBB, gd suggestion... I need to hurry up go for checkup, hehe... intending to go tis wk but end up menses came, Dr said can't do it during menses
Looking forward to see u gals & ur cute little babies... hehe...
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BlesswBB, yah, i lost 3 kg since bb came! I think it was from the shock of lack of sleep! hahaha. Now, it feels like I'm starting to put it back on! oh no!

iwantitvmuch, no, haven't heard abt the agent in Serangoon Gdns. Yes, it's good to call different agencies and talk to them, then only can you settle on the one that you are most comfortable with. Great, you might be the first among us to have a boy!
 
Hi ladies,

I am from the IVF thread and I have given up the idea of ever having my own biological child. We are considering overseas adoption as our next step. Appreciate if u could take the time to answer my queries..sorry, Im totally new to adoption process.

-what is the total time taken from beginning HSR to having baby at home?
-when will we receive child Sporean birth cert?
-total cost everything included, how is it broken down by installments at diff. agencies?
-does the HSR have an expiry date?
-is child entitled to baby bonus?
 
Yuli,
the day i saw u at MCYS u still look at yr good shape...don worry...u will slim down again when bb is bigger and start to get sick...haha
Lucky i din gain or lose any weight since i become SAHM. hehe

iwantitvmuch,
To tell u the truth i din arrange the documents. They have those checklist attached right? Just follow according to the checklist should be good enuf.

die,
Welcome to the thread.
1) It takes abt 2 to 3mths to fill up the HSR forms. It also depending on the time u need to collate the document require. Thereafter, there will be 2 interviews (1 interview at the centre and 1 home visit) from the adoption service centre u engage.
2) Dependent pass will be given to the baby - 9mths. I think the the bb will be able to get her citizenship by 5mths. (if u engage an agency to help u...u don hv to worry abt this)
3) Cost depending on the agency.....some charge abt $25k some at $27k. As for my agency, she charge me $25. Payment is made at 3 installment. $15k, $5k and $5k.
4) HSR report is only valid for 1yr
5) Yes after yr bb is granted citizenship
 
die,
Saw yr msg in IVF thread. Don be sad..hugz hugz
Most of us here experience what u went thru. I have just adopted a little girl who is now 1mth 2weeks old. She's very much look like both me and my hubby. Is a GOD's gift as i do not need to go thru birth pain to have this little gift. Cheer up...u will find yr little ones thru adoption.
 
dIe, maybe you want to change your username to something else. Sorry, I feel that I'm cursing you leh when I type. Sorreeeee...
Don't be sad abt the IVF. If we didn't try, we never knew and might regret not going through IVF. We will not think of the 'What if I gone through IVF??' kind of questions.
I hope you are at peace now that you are considering adoption. I made the decision quite a while ago but only cast it in stone after my 3rd IVF failure last month. Since then, I NEVER look back. It's so liberating!! My friends think that I'm so much happier and helping me get ready with the preparation for my baby adoption.
So, once you decide, 'chop chop chicken chop' and fill up the forms and submit and get in the queue! Good luck!

Girls, I have a 'baby list' which is very useful if you are thinking of what to buy. Whoever needs it, please PM me. or write me at [email protected] .
 
Die.
Welcome to the thread and as iwantitvmuch says, it is a good idea to change name!

Iwantitvmuch,
I think it is a good idea to meet up with a few agents and see which one you are most comfortable with. I think the hardest part is the wait after the HSR is approved and so, it is good to have an agency you can trust. I chose Alice after the positive feedbacks from Blesswbb and Yuli and you should definitely meet up with her. She is really warm and caring and you will definitely feel that she has your best interest in heart. I am feeling at lot more at ease right now after reading Blesswbb's earlier message. I really think Alice is really trying her best but I think that I feel insecure and impatient as every minute seems an eternity and I can't wait to have the bb in my arms. It was really unfortunate that the birthmom changed her mind, which is really out of Alice's control. As my family said, everything happens for a reason and I am just waiting for my bb to find her way home!

Blesswbb,
Yes, I have spoken with Alice. She said she is taking care of it and I feel much better now. I know she is really working hard on my case....it is just that I am so impatient! Basically, since I decided on adoption, my life is on hold as I can't enjoy anything...can't concentrate at work...can't enjoy life!...so, thanks for the reassurance. Although I know I am in good hands with Alice, I don't know why I have doubts sometimes. I think I am really too stressed and impatient! But luckily, I decided to go thru her as some agency I called earlier told me I had to wait 3 to 6 months! So, I know I should be a little bit more patient..but as you know, I am the impatient type!

Yuli,
3kg in 2 weeks! that's great! i definitely need to loose some weight too! so, bb..come home soon so that I can shed some weight too!

Janella,
How are you?
 
Die, ya lah, how abt changing yr nickname to Hope? ;) welcome, by the way! I took 3mths 2 fill up / collate doc for my HSR. I took 10 weeks fr handing in HSR to hving bb home with us. My payt same as Blesswbb. From the point u hv bb home with u, it'll take abt 2 wks 2 get bb's Dependant's Pass n another 5-6 mths to complete n collect the new BC, citizenship n passport. All the best 2 u!

Dream, I put on so much weight during the 3 IVFs, I'm really glad bb has helped me lose some of it!

I wish some of the previous forumers (like Catyeo, Chris, VQ from the older postings) wld come back n contribute 2 this thread. Their children must be toddlers by now!
 
Ladies,

Thanks for answering my queries. I will discuss with hubby and analyze our financial situation before deciding if this is the path for us.
 
Hi Die,
I didnt expect to see you here. Adoption actually came to my mind this morning.

Ladies,
I am in the same IVF cycle as Die. I am totally new to adoption and will like to find out more as well. Can someone advise me what are the steps? Wat is HSR? Cost and other things that I need to know?
 
Hi Fatbabe,

Fate brought us to be cycle buddies for IVF and now we r looking at the adoption path together. I really feel a strong bond with u. However, total adoption costs is around 25-27k and Im afraid hubby n I r not financially ready for that if we factor in the fact that I dont work for at least 6 months n also the cost of a maid when I do go to work . So Im thinking over this now..maybe have to wait 1-2 years before we r ready to adopt.
 
Hi Die,
Yeah, the cost is not cheap. Unless we are financially prepared. For IVF it is CPF and cash but adoption is purely cash. So must really be prepared.
 
Fatbabe,

Ya, how I wish I can afford it now. Wait too long already..hubby n I really not getting younger. When I sound out to hubby abt adoption and its cost, he suggested a child-free life treating ourselves with holidays etc..but I wonder will we always feel that something is missing? Life is short..do I really want to go through life without someone calling us 'mummy' and 'daddy'?
 
iwantitvmuch,
Be positive! I am sure the content is good and you must really be motivated to complete it so fast!

FatBabe and Die,
Most of us are from the IVF thread as well! and I think most of us have come to realize that we just wanted to be parents. Think it over before you take the next step. Agree that the cost is not cheap but at the end of the process, you will be carrying your bb home...whereas IVF there is still so much uncertainty.

Otherwise, remember that the home study is valid for one year. So, that will give you one more year to save/plan.
 
Die,
It is really a difficult decision but it can only work if both parties are up to it. You will need all the support from him if you go through it. For my case, it took a while for my hubby to go along with the idea but we are here now! So, persevere..and be patient with him. It takes more time for men to "mature" in a way.
 
Dream,
Thanks for ur advice. I too think that all my hubby needs is a little time to warm up to the idea. I know that both of us do want to be parents. We just need to be financially ready so that we are confident to embark on this route.

At this moment, we are focusing on getting over the pain of our IVF failure. We need to forget about baby for a while and focus on ourselves, enjoy each other, get away for a holiday or something first. I quit my job for IVF in June. After a rest, I will get a new job, save up and plan towards adoption. It may take a year or two before we are ready.
 
Die,
Your IVF result is uncertain yet. Think you should wait for Monday's test.

Dream,
Wat is the home study about? U mean the earliest we can 'get' a baby is 1yr from application?
 
Die,
Yes, please treat yourself and enjoy each other company! I think it is important to strengthen relationship and a holiday, even a short one and close by, is definitely needed to take a break from everything and be refreshed. So, your next project should be on your holiday!

Fat Babe,
I meant the opposite! HSR is valid for one year so if financial is tight after your HSR is approved, you still can delay the adoption process. To get more information on the process, you may want to check MCYS website, which is quite comprehensive. In a nutshell, most people who want to adopt overseas have to go through HSR through agencies accredited by MCYS. the HSR basically assesses whether you are suitable to go through adoption. There are questionnaires, medical checks up to be performed and interviews. Once they assessed you and you have obtained their approval, then you can proceed with the adoption with an agency adoption which will help you to find a baby and then assist you in legal works/immigration issues.

Hope this helps!
 
Ladies who are working,

After adoption, are we legally entitled to maternity leave and how long? How long did u take to return to work and who looked after the baby while u were at work? Thanks for sharing.
 
die
You may check earlier message from yuli on this subject but from what I gathered, you will not get maternity leave but adoption leave. I think mcys will cover 1 month for Singaporean child. The best is to check with your HR. Seems some companies are more generous than others.
 
Die,
I did call joy adoption. Their charges r more expensive. They charge $27k with additional service like wat features or characteristic u looking for in yr bb they will look out for u. Which I believe will wait longer for the bb to b in yr arms.
Mcys only give 1mth adoption leave. The leave can only b taken only when yr bb is given the citizenship. U can check mcys website for more details.
 
Hi ladies

I wasn't feeling well the past few days so I didn't log in. Thanks for all your lovely suggestions! The good news is that TOUCH emailed and said that I could submit the HSR forms first without the NO Criminal Record Certificate. They will still process the forms and I can submit the certificate when it is ready. Yipee! I still have not completed filling up the forms though!

I attended a workshop on 'The 3 A's of Adoption' a few days ago. The speaker mentioned about a lady who adopted two babies and went on to conceive two more babies naturally. This lady is very attached to her first adopted child. But when she first held her biological child in her arms, the attachment was not as strong as it was with her adopted child. So I really think it does not matter whether one has a biological or an adopted child.

Hi Die

I know about your case from the IVF thread. So sorry to read about your situation. My story is very similar to yours and I truly understand how you feel. I almost went into depression two months ago but the thought that I can still be a mother through adoption keeps me going! The ladies here are very inspiring. Those who have adopted are so happy with their babies! I feel so good whenever I read about how they are coping and what they are doing with their babies. You will too!

Hi Fat Babe

Welcome! You won't regret your decision should you decide to adopt!
 
Janella,
Great News! You are one step closer!

Die,
I read your posts on the other thread and it is great to hear that your hubby is ready now! That was fast for him to warm up to the idea
happy.gif
and as Janella said to Fat Babe, you won't regret your decision!

Blesswbb,
How is your daughter's allergy? When are you updating your blog? looking forward to new pictures!
 
dream,
After i change her milk to NAN 1 she more or less stable already. But she still doesn't drink much....sometimes she can drink 2oz somtimes 3oz. Think she doesn't like the taste but no choice can't change milk as her stomach can take this milk as she doesn't poos so much.
Haha...wanted to update but has been very busy viewing houses...moving to a bigger HDB flat as my parents and bb is staying with us. I'm still taking photos and video of my little girl everyday. I will launch it in my blog once i hv the time. She now knows how to ah koo liao and talk alot...she can recognise me as she will smile to me whenever she sees me.
Did Alice find u a bb?
 
Blesswbb,
Exciting news! Looking for a new place! have you managed to find your dream home? A new chapter in your life! So many things happening this year for you!

Yes, update your blog when you are free! can't imagine your girl is already making noises! and she can recognise you! Amazing...I need to read more on bb development!

I have spoken with Alice today and I know she is working very hard on my case. I am calling her almost everyday (and sometimes even a few times a day!) but yet, she is still so patient with me!!!
 
Dream,

Ya, I propose the plan of me returning to work for a while, save up a bit more then next year June we can start the process. He overcame his anxiety once he saw that the numbers (financial) worked out ok.
 
Ladies,
How old were the babies when u brought them home? 0-3 months baby abit fragile and I no confidence. That means I shld request for 3-6 mths baby when the time comes?
 
dream,
Actually not really keen in moving...but no choice bb will grow very fast and they need the space to run abt. I have just updated my blog.
Ya...Alice is very patient...she can be very jovial. Told her my bb don wan to drink milk...she ask me to drink on behalf for her lor haha...if can i don mind...i'm having headache feeding her milk. Can't wait to feed her solid food...think she will love it.

Die,
My bb is 9 days old when i brought her home. Y we don't want bb more than 3mths cos they start to recognise pple and they tend to cry alot if they feel unsafe. Some even get diarrhoea after u bring home. Don worry...if ur parents and in-laws can help u that will be good. By the time bb is 2mths old their neck are much stronger. My bb who is 1mth 3weeks old start to lift up her head when i try washing her hair. She hate washing hair.
happy.gif

I think u should start preparing yr HSR report now...if u have read the HSR report u will find it tedious in preparing and collating the documents.....by the time u submit around March 2010 u might need to wait for another 1mth plus to get thru with the interviews and the approved report. That means by June u can start looking out for babies for adoptions liao.
 
die,
great to hear about your plan! Excited for you that your hubby is so supportive and you will be a mummy by next year
happy.gif
 
blesswbb
just visited your blog. She is so pretty! I can't wait anymore for my turn! I love the pictures where she is falling asleep when your hubby carries her. She seems so comfortable. Thanks for sharing
happy.gif


Otherwise, remember no solid food until 6 months old! I hope your princess will get used to her new milk soon. She must be a picky eater! Or should I say "drinker"!

Die,
agree with blesswbb that you can start the process now as it is a tedious one. You can find the form in Touch websites and you also need to attend workshops.
 
dream,
Thanks...i also anxious for u...y is yrs taking so long? Can't wait to hv new mummy in this thread. It is taking too long since Yuli got her bb hm.
i fing that pic very funny...she was so lazy wanted to sleep then entertain her daddy..hehe
I'm starting some fruit puree when she's 4mth.
 
Blesswbb,
Can't believe you are already planning fruit puree when she's 4 months old! Seems like you have done your research. But be careful not to introduce too sweet fruits when she is too young. After that, she may not want to take water as she would find it too plain!

May be my fated bb wants to make sure we are ready for her/him! and, the good thing is that I can learn from you and Yuli!
 
I've handed in my application and forms to Touch today!! very happy that I've done that and will be waiting for them to call soon. Hopefully soon.
 
iwantitvmuch,
Congrats! You must feel great, right now! Go and pamper yourself! you deserve it! I also hope they will call you VERY Soon!
 


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