Hi Siow Leng,
I'm a SAHM. initial intention was to continue working after maternity leave but due to various reasons , got to be a SAHM..eg, maid no good, own mum got health prob , not willing to expose DD to germs at infantcare, cannot trust auntie babysitter...and so on...i guess i was too suspicious..dunno why i become so gan cheong after giving birth...
anyway, my grievous is also with MIL. first, when i was pregnant, i had a terrible first trimester with severe vomitting and was hospitalised twice and on MC for 2 months. she only visited me once during my whole pregnancy and during that visit, it was more talking to my hubby then showing me concern. nvm, i told myself, it's fine coz i'm cool. I just pray that she won't come and mess things up after i give birth..
but things dun alws go accd to our wishes.
Before i gave birth, she told me that she wont be able to visit me during the 1st month coz mine is a daughter, will "chong" her. i listen and did not give it much tot, altho my own mum finds it very silly of her to think this way.
but, on the day i gave birth, she came to visit, not me, haha, but she stood outside the ward and look at my baby from far..she didnt even talk to me...very sad but i didnt let that get me down. not worth it.
During the confinement days, she also came over to my place ...i stop short of asking her why she came , not afraid will "chong" her ? but i daren't say lah. she bought lotsa pork belly to ask my mum to cook for me..accd to her superstition, is to change tummy , so that i can give birth to a boy next time !!!!! I didnt eat at all.. my mum threw away the cooked belly twice coz i said i feel nauseous after eating. too angry to eat. being pregnant is already hard enuff, now she nv even say anything good but keep saying must try for another one!!! I stop short of telling her that it has been proven that the gender is determined by the hubby not wife.
then, it came to BF. I've tried my best to BF my girl. She's the type who will latch on for an hour to feed. tiring but i strive on . however, the females in my family do not have good milk supply, I'm already better than most of them..managed to TBF for more than 2 months, then turn partial coz return to work, not enuff. I resigned after 2 months to stay home ....but very unluckily, my DD fell sick on the last week of my employment and I got to take care of her plus i got sick as well...so my milk supply dwindled .. u know what my mum in law says? she accused me of not BF my girl and keep forcing me to BF her all the time. I was already so sick and trying my best to keep up and not lose it and there she is, forcing me to BF all the time. i had to work and take care of DD that crucial week and it was ultra stressful and tiring for me. as my girl was sick, she slept a lot, so i can't let her latch on and got to express out..MIL scolds me whenever she sees me expressing. ...i really dunno why she's like that..and she was such a big nuisance that whole week..i also dunno why she visited us and stayed for the same whole week when we were sick.
now that i stopped BF due to no more supply, not by my choice, she till kept harping on it, saying that another relative is still BF her daughter who is 16 mth old. I want to ask her to shut up but i can't. will ruin our r/ship..just felt very indignant..
she even says things like why i dun want to work..i got to lie that I am still doing some work at home, like accounting. just to shut her up. it was not easy for me to give up my job either . I loved my job and was earning a good income but for the love of my child, i quit.
once, we told her that we sold our old fan and rice cooker via yahoo auction, she sarcastically ask why we so poor now.. and look at my direction, as if accusing me of putting us in this situation...but my hubby quickly says tat we want to buy new ones, so since can sell to another person, why not.
If not for my hubby being there , protecting and explaining most of the time, i think she'll accuse me non-stop of many things..
just this morning, because hubby did a minor op last week , she came very very early and brought brewed birds' nest. we were still sleeping when she arrived and she looks at me disapprovingly when i woke up to greet her...in the past, she alws says that i must wake up early to do housework, this and that....what she doesnt know is that it is physically tiring for SAHM like us, we are infant caregiver, maid, wife..with no off days. how to wake up so early...
anyway, she ask my hubby to finish the birds' nest and when hubby say too much, cant finish, she says she wants to give DD...nv once did she offer me a sip...i'm not the type who takes this type of tonic, but i would feel good if she ask, right?
Nevermind, this is life as someone's daughter-in-law.
I'm a SAHM. initial intention was to continue working after maternity leave but due to various reasons , got to be a SAHM..eg, maid no good, own mum got health prob , not willing to expose DD to germs at infantcare, cannot trust auntie babysitter...and so on...i guess i was too suspicious..dunno why i become so gan cheong after giving birth...
anyway, my grievous is also with MIL. first, when i was pregnant, i had a terrible first trimester with severe vomitting and was hospitalised twice and on MC for 2 months. she only visited me once during my whole pregnancy and during that visit, it was more talking to my hubby then showing me concern. nvm, i told myself, it's fine coz i'm cool. I just pray that she won't come and mess things up after i give birth..
but things dun alws go accd to our wishes.
Before i gave birth, she told me that she wont be able to visit me during the 1st month coz mine is a daughter, will "chong" her. i listen and did not give it much tot, altho my own mum finds it very silly of her to think this way.
but, on the day i gave birth, she came to visit, not me, haha, but she stood outside the ward and look at my baby from far..she didnt even talk to me...very sad but i didnt let that get me down. not worth it.
During the confinement days, she also came over to my place ...i stop short of asking her why she came , not afraid will "chong" her ? but i daren't say lah. she bought lotsa pork belly to ask my mum to cook for me..accd to her superstition, is to change tummy , so that i can give birth to a boy next time !!!!! I didnt eat at all.. my mum threw away the cooked belly twice coz i said i feel nauseous after eating. too angry to eat. being pregnant is already hard enuff, now she nv even say anything good but keep saying must try for another one!!! I stop short of telling her that it has been proven that the gender is determined by the hubby not wife.
then, it came to BF. I've tried my best to BF my girl. She's the type who will latch on for an hour to feed. tiring but i strive on . however, the females in my family do not have good milk supply, I'm already better than most of them..managed to TBF for more than 2 months, then turn partial coz return to work, not enuff. I resigned after 2 months to stay home ....but very unluckily, my DD fell sick on the last week of my employment and I got to take care of her plus i got sick as well...so my milk supply dwindled .. u know what my mum in law says? she accused me of not BF my girl and keep forcing me to BF her all the time. I was already so sick and trying my best to keep up and not lose it and there she is, forcing me to BF all the time. i had to work and take care of DD that crucial week and it was ultra stressful and tiring for me. as my girl was sick, she slept a lot, so i can't let her latch on and got to express out..MIL scolds me whenever she sees me expressing. ...i really dunno why she's like that..and she was such a big nuisance that whole week..i also dunno why she visited us and stayed for the same whole week when we were sick.
now that i stopped BF due to no more supply, not by my choice, she till kept harping on it, saying that another relative is still BF her daughter who is 16 mth old. I want to ask her to shut up but i can't. will ruin our r/ship..just felt very indignant..
she even says things like why i dun want to work..i got to lie that I am still doing some work at home, like accounting. just to shut her up. it was not easy for me to give up my job either . I loved my job and was earning a good income but for the love of my child, i quit.
once, we told her that we sold our old fan and rice cooker via yahoo auction, she sarcastically ask why we so poor now.. and look at my direction, as if accusing me of putting us in this situation...but my hubby quickly says tat we want to buy new ones, so since can sell to another person, why not.
If not for my hubby being there , protecting and explaining most of the time, i think she'll accuse me non-stop of many things..
just this morning, because hubby did a minor op last week , she came very very early and brought brewed birds' nest. we were still sleeping when she arrived and she looks at me disapprovingly when i woke up to greet her...in the past, she alws says that i must wake up early to do housework, this and that....what she doesnt know is that it is physically tiring for SAHM like us, we are infant caregiver, maid, wife..with no off days. how to wake up so early...
anyway, she ask my hubby to finish the birds' nest and when hubby say too much, cant finish, she says she wants to give DD...nv once did she offer me a sip...i'm not the type who takes this type of tonic, but i would feel good if she ask, right?
Nevermind, this is life as someone's daughter-in-law.