finally realise that i'm not alone with regards to MIL being the main caregiver. can vent my frustration here! hope u all can bear with me for a while. well, i'm a weekend mother. both hubby n i will visit bb everyday from Mon to Thur and stay until 10pm. Fri we'll bring bb home n back to them on Mon am.
my all-time concern is the same as everyone here, afraid bb (now 3mths plus) will be closer to MIL than to me. as some of u mentioned, hubby dun seem to understand our maternal emotions n sometimes feels that i'm being too paranoid, insecure or overly-sensitive cos maybe it is his mother i guess... i ask myself if bb is taken care by my own mother, i feel that i will not be so bothered, seriously. know it's unfair hehe
My MIL is a very nice person, but no matter how nice, i still want my son to be closer to me at the end of the day. MIL was my CL since day 1 and bb has been in contact with her since then. so till now he is comfortable with the two of us.
initially, i will feel a bit "buay song" that bb seems to prefer her than me at times or sometimes, MIL will try to take over task from me but i will insist on doing on my own. but when that happen eg during bathing bb in the evening, it always ends up me trying to wear his clothes, diapers while MIL is there talking non-stop to bb. at times she will say "dun look at nai nai, look at mummy". then i will jokingly replied "of course he will look at u what mum cos u r talking to him mah"
See, how to find bonding time with bb alone??!!!
i guess the old folks wont understand the younger generation parents. after a hard day's work, all i look forward to is to bond with my bb but i have PILs in the way to interrupt my time, calling his name, talking to him, etc. i wonder have they not talked or played enough with him when i'm working??? really beats me. perhaps bb is their first grandchild...
ever thot of bringing bb home every night but the logistics is really not favourable, n i wont want to be a SAHM either.
maybe i have no right to complain here lah...
now i try to stick to the following routine whenever i visit bb at PILs' place:
- bathe baby
- have my dinner
- feed baby
- carry him in my arms, walk ard the house, talk to him
- baby will fall asleep in my arms
- continue to carry him until he wakes up after 45min to 1hr
- then play with him again
- go home, do a bit of chores, then sleep
this has been going on quite well n bb smiles n looks happy whenever he sees me. this melts me heart...
i hope at the end of the day, he will prefer me still cos i'm ultimately his mummy