Advise on Baby & Maid Exps

Jamelle, Patsy, good to know that both your maids are good.

On 31 Dec, I went for D&D, I brought both my kids together and my FIL came(at least someone at home)..leaving bb and maid at home.. saw her doing hse work fast(finish at 8pm,means everyday she just try to work slow,dream away till time-up,or to show me she very busy,yet nothing done) and watch TV with FIL(maid watched TV behind FIL, enjoying her biscuits,no wonder food provided finish so fast) till my FIL off TV(about 1 and half hour.She knows my hse rules no TV(cos need her to bb care,when I'm not at home).
 


patsy,
if my maid can do half of what your maid has done, i'll be really happy!

Anyone of you mummies would recommend your agent? So far I've gone to suss out ADP liao. I'm thinking of getting someone with experience. Dun mind giving day off but most imptly, the person must have good attitude and can work efficiently.

Jo, your maid very standard man!
 
Jo, too early to say good, so i say so far so good... dunno if horns will come out after a few months!! Where was your baby when your maid was watching TV? I also didn't allow my maid to watch TV unless I was there with Sabie then... and only if she finished all her chores already! The worst thing is for a distracted person to care for the baby!!

nellu, so far she's been quite pro-active, hb was painting the room ceiling and took off the light fixture, without having to tell her, she went to wash it. She moved all the furniture aside also to mop under the sofa... in fact hb has to tell her to stop sweeping the floor coz will be dirty again after he finishes painting! Only thing is that she's not the smiley type, very somber, but not black face... just not the chit chatty noisy type, which in one way is good also. I can feel she's very homesick and misses her kids though... often catch her red eyes from crying, very pitiful. I used Dans services and gave them very specific details of what i expect in a maid, the one I got was recommended by them and i interviewed her in person when i went back home to manila. So far we're quite happy with their service. They have various packages depending on number of replacements etc... i can give you the contact if you want.
 
Patsy
Thanks. can you PM me the contact?
Your maid does sounds ok for now. From what you describe she sounds serious and she does remind me a little of my 1st maid. Only difference is my 1st maid talked too much, and also she behaved really weirdly when she sees kids...a little scary..the reason i sent her home was cos she gave my hse keys w/o permission to my confinement lady.

Personally i like someone who has initiative. I don't need someone who talks too much, just the necessary is enough and properly as well.
 
Hi Maureen, yes we did asked for the reason being transferred. According to them n my maid, it's my maid who requested to be transferred as they made her work till 1am and wake up at 5.30am.I don't believe in their story coz I realise all their transferred maids i interviewed gave me the same reason.But during this 1 week when she's with me, I can feel she appreciate us as we want her to sleep at 11pm after baby slp and wake up 6am every morning except sun I allow her to wake up at 7am.(so that she have enough rest to do the housework n look after my ger).About watching TV, I gave her 1hr time to watch TV everyday. I feel after 1 day of hard work, we should let her look forward to 1hour of time to relax, but she is allowed to watch only at the time I set (9pm-10pm) and to watch with us only. At the same time, we take this opportunity to talk to her about her work and she can take care of baby while watching TV. After watching TV she is to play with baby till 10+ until baby slp. After baby slp she can slp. We are still strict with her though.How tings to be done and it must be done.So far so gd.
Patsy, my maid is the same as urs. The only problem is she don't have the smiley face. Not black face, but no smile. And she also keep looking for things to do. I have things for her to do, like packin my waredrobe and so on...but I want to pack with her, coz must pack according to my style ma...so now also looking for other things for her to do. If you have any idea, maybe we can share with each other...hehe... Well, lets keep our finger crossed. Hope their standard can last long.
 
Hi mummies, I just don't know what's wrong with my maid or she is normal, after reading her note(I don't know if she want me to read and leave the note where I can see purposely??)..

She wrote that, she had a good employer.. she purposely eat employer's food that is not given to her(the coffee,my hubby bought from Taiwan), in order to see how I look like when angry.. but mdm just keep quiet when angry(actually, I don't understand and tot she don't know, instead she did it purposely).. why when employer treat them well regardless how her performance(thinking she is new in singapore and came from poor family, try to understand them, be more forgiving and patient) yet I'm so dissappointed she did it purposely..

Then, she wrote with another date, this time she ate bread, biscuits and instant noodles all together for breakfast.. if mdm know sure very angry..he..he..he.. (when I read this, I was thinking whether my current maid is mentally ok or not..) why she did that? I'm not angry if she need to eat a lot(hungry or not enough), but for the reason to see how I look like when angry??

Maybe maid don't get used to see employer never angry even she is trying hard to purposely make mistake..

What should I do?.. I know she can work if she did, cos she did improve, or watch her by camera, she work ok. I can closed eyes on hse work but now, just worry she will create more problem in order to see how I look like when angry..
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I really can't understand maid.
 
Jo
I think your maid just want to see you get angry so she is trying all ways to make you angry by putting notes behind for you to read to see your angry face. A bit screw loose up there...don't fall for her trick, continue to be not angry but quite scary if she really has mental problem.
 
Precious one, so far I won't anyhow scold maid, even if I vomit blood with their work, I also never scold.. maybe she think that is too good to believe.. now I worry for my bb and kids.. knowing she did mistake purposely and waiting to see how I get angry.. haiz.. why can't she work properly.. I'm lost again, I don't want to change and change maid all the time.. yet she make me lost trust in her.. compare with previous maid, I tot I will keep her till loan end but now with that not logic thinking.. I don't know what to do.. change or keep(afraid hav mental problem)?
 
Actually I checked with the agency. There is no way to speak to the previous employer. After that we interview the maid. After interviewing is ok, but work for a week just pack her things when I am not around for a few hours and tell me don't want to work. Want to change employer. Just because she got scolding from my mil and hubby.

Wonder what did they learn at MOM? Why MOM doesn't really listen how we employers also suffer not only the maid.

Few days ago, I went Westmall to buy things. I saw a maid slapping a little girl. That why I never let my kids alone with the maid. Really don't know what will happen.
 
janelle, same as me, even after she irons i tell her to leave on the bed because i want to put back the clothes my style, but i showed her a few times and so far she can follow already. today i asked her to scrub and clean all the suitcases then polish.. but soon will not have things for her to clean liao!

jo: your maid is trying to push your limits, to see at what point you will break... so she will know up to how much she can bend the rules. I would suggest you tell her off and tell her you will not accept that kind of behaviour from her. Don't shout or scream, because the moment you loose control she wins liao. from what you have written though, i can tell she is very sneaky and wily, not very good qualities in maids! if your maid is filipino i could talk to her...

Maureen, do you know why she got scolding? maybe she got scared of your hb/MIL?
 
Patsy, thanks for your offer, my maid from indo (so I manage to read her written language).. see they are not blur but act/purposely.. I will monitor her again, if really no choice, I have to change lor.. I'm more worry if she has mental problem, or she think life here is too boring, would like to see/make the employer angry.. actual my boy don't like her, cos maid enjoy make him angry (so now I know what's happening). Maid is trying to make more scene at home, hoping I scold my kids, or angry with her or whatever.. I don't think after I talk to her, she will change if she did it purposely. think she can't get used to so peaceful life.
 
Jo - i cant believe what yr maid did. I prefer someone honest and forthcoming. Did she know you can read Bahasa?

In fact, you can tell she is actually quite smart. If first stage already like that, next time prob will gv you more headache. I think you should think twice with this girl!

Nellu - i still didnt get yr PM. Maybe email me at [email protected]?

Maureen - in fact i felt that nowadays the maids are not really here to work. Alot want easy life, cannot get scolding and all sorts of rubbish! And worse, before you want to reconsider their employment, they tell you they want to quit first or ran away first...

Even if you think the maid is good, they maybe choosy also. Some dont like ah ma around blar blar..really have to let one day pass one day to judge the maid.
 
Mummies, now I'm confused.. the previous agent called and said my 1st maid want to talk to me... reason, her current employer don't want her(6mths with her), I just speak to my ex-maid also said not suitable.. so now she want to come back or kena transfer to another employer again.. I told agent this ex maid's has pro n con, I need to know what's her real reason, current employer reject her.. I don't know, I should take her back..

Good is my kids like her, no need training, know her pattern, bad is, has mood(black face), can't control cos too closed and she is very smart (she did went out when I'm not home without permission.. How? should I or not?
 
Jo
It seems that your current and ex-maid like to test your emotion...may be you're really too kind or too soft.

I really can't tahan a black face looking person in the house...chinese saying - very suay....may be yr ex-maid new employer caught her not at home and scolded her and you didn't really reprimand her when she went out w/o permission, so she's making a U-turn. Anyway, who fire who first, as in your ex-maid....Don't jump from one hot soup to another and worst the same soup...my heart can't take it, I don't know about yours.
 
Precious one, I know what u mean, ex maid lied to me, regardless how good I treat her.. I only feel sad and don't know why ex maid did that to us.. maybe she think, she can find better employer/family.. end up she need to pay loan again to get new employer..and now, employer don't want her, only she realised we treat her well.. like I said I know she used hp secretly, went out, sometimes late to pick up my boy and so on.. I just act, I don't know (think she also don't realise I know her pattern)..as she is good with children and hse work, independant too. I closed both eyes.. I really give in a lot to her, just because she can work, and I trust her.. I can leave children with her when I'm travelling. Maybe that time I haven't install camera.. and this time , I watch how my current maid behave, only I can see her true pattern.

I know ex maid, choosed to leave us(she fired me) by saying going back to married, but actual she don't want to work with me (thinking to find better employer, or don't know why not happy with us, maybe I never scold her before).. now, she knows that, stil we treat her well, and want to come back.. like the agent said,who can tahan her black face and attitude.. her 1st employer 3mths, transfer to me (I tahan 2yrs,asking if she want to continue but she said want to married, now said cos married cancelled she come back work but she came back 3weeks,I know she plan to work again n lied).. current 3rd employer 6mths..hoping to come back now..hmm..

Past, I'm sad with her.. now thinking if she knows we treat her good, will she be more appreciate/cherish us n perform better? Or take advantage, since we are good, thinking I'm blur employer can lied more..haiz.. do good also jialat..

Now, go a big round.. she paid loan again to get new employer.. I paid all fees, changing maid..blah blah.. If I take her back I need to pay again fees n everythings..see la..

I'm happy to hear she might work with us and same time asking myself really want to take her ah?...
 
Jo
My rationale is, since you are going to change, we always hope to change for the better in life, why change to a problematic one, like u said, last time no camera, now have...sekali, u see more worst things from the ex-maid, you are going to get double blow...must as well look around and get a new and better one. Somemore, you are paying $$, not free...so pay for a better one, if I were you...Just felt that maid with bad attitude and not truthful would not be appreciative, in fact, more selfish and self-centred.
 
Precious one, I also agreed with you..change for better one..this is what I think when she leave us..so far after this ex maid..I change till now the 5th, yet still can't compare to her(she stil the best even not perfect)..am so tired with maid matter.. I afraid get bad again.. not getting the 1st prize but at least consolation (knowing her pattern liao).. I did asked her why she didn't call us, or at least talk to my kids.. she reply, she knows we have new maid liao, don't want to disturb us..she also don't have phone. Very time she heard the new kids called her kakak,she will think of my kids..alamak,I don't know how true..but hoping what she means is true.. I also hope everythings will be fine if she back with us..

I asked my boy, as he really want this ex maid to come back.. I said, if ex kakak stil with same moody and do funny thing, how? My boy also told me, better than getting worst(other maid).. will discuss with hubby tonight.. mostly just get her back, till my bb older.. at least my children like her and I can work/travel. Wish me Good Luck, no matter ex maid or change new. Pray, hard to get the right person.
 
Jo
Will support your whatever decision. Like me, I'm also so sick of maid thingy that I give up having one....means I will be stuck as SAHM for a long long time.... May be if you decide to take the old maid back, you have to make it known to her that you knew that she did all those funny things behind your back and you will only consider her again if she does not repeat them. Then you watch her closely. I don't want to wish you good luck, I want to wish the next one to work with you to appreciate her own good luck to have a good employer. If only the problematic maid is appreciative, then all good employers will not have headache. All the best!
 
Precious one, thanks..you are a great mummy 'SAHM'..
ya,was thinking.. the bad maid should go to bad employer and good maid to good employer..wahaha.. actually, appreciate maid's hard work and knowing that who want to be maid if they can make more money.. (chinese hokkien, saying.. no fish, prawn also can..).
 
Pasty, cos the agency spoken to her. Then she told the agency because of the scolding.

I agreed they come here not to work just to enjoy themselves. Think that they can go out here and there. Free tour.
 
Hi Mummies,
Just want to share with you - here's my 2 cents worth for those who are considering getting a transfer maid.
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I got a transfer maid who worked in Spore for 7 yrs+. She had 2 previous employers. I asked her for her previous employer's contact number to talk to them and she gladly gave the contact to me. The previous employer told me she is very good with her baby, independent and has initiative, but lazy to do housework, and always chatting/sms on her handphone that's why they decided not to extend her. After alot of deliberation I decided to take her on coz I know I can't find someone perfect...to me the impt thing is that she has experience in taking care of babies, she's good with them and likes to do it. I dun mind laziness with housework..can close one eye. I brought my baby along with me for the interview and asked her to handle her while I talked to her and she was very pro. I took an instant liking to her. That's what I like abt transfer maids - you can interview them in person and talk to them. Straight away you can tell whether you can 'click' with the person, whether she's a dumbo, whether she understands english well, whether she knows her stuff or she's bull-sh*$ing us, etc. I find looking thru the bio-data is such a waste of time, knowing half the info there is fake and written by the agent. I'm glad I gave this transfer maid a chance because she turned out even better than I expected! She does the housework well and takes care of my baby with such care and patience that even sometimes I don't have. She's cheerful and takes alot initiative doing stuff like clearing the fridge, cleaning the fan/lights when its dirty, etc. without me telling her. I guess that's another pro with getting a transfer maid is that she's experienced and can run on auto-pilot mode. But the con is that she has alot of friends here having worked here for so long, so got alot of sms and calls. But I made it clear to her that she can only talk on the phone during her free time when she's finished the housework and when the baby is sleeping. I think its good for her to talk to her friends too coz I'm sure it can be quite lonely working in a foreign country.

I mentioned one day to my maid that I'm really happy and impressed with her coz she's so different from what her previous employer told me. And she told me that her prev emp stay in big bungalow so she was so tired cleaning the 4 storey house everyday plus having to take care of her 3 month old baby and 2 yr old...and the employer was very fussy type (to the extent ask her to clean the individual leaves of the plants in her house)! If I were the maid I will faint too.

I'm not saying that all transfer maids are good...just that we should give them a chance coz you'll never know what you're getting with a new one.

Good luck and just trust in God that he will help you make the right choice.
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Hi Mummies,

I would like to seek your opinion. I have a maid who just finished 10 months with us (cleared her debts). We went for a long hol in Sep and got her tkts to Manila for her home visit. she left and returned without my loan mobile phone. I was very upset as I knew 2 weeks b4 she left her husband lost his and I suspected she left it for him.

a week b4 Xmas she asked me for an advance claiming her husband needed to invest in a biz. I wasn't willing but since she is the only person taking care of my baobei, I gave her the monies. after xmas she told me she bought a mobile phone that cost 100$. I felt cheated.

tonight my bro sent us home and bcause he had no baby seat, my maid had to hold on to my girl; i noticed she texted when she is in the back of the car with my girl. I saw her text with her right hand while holding to her with her left. I didn't like the diverted attention but not sure if I am being fussy - will this behaviour be acceptable to you?

my girl likes her alot and we do too. just that recently w the mobile phone she seems to do less work. e.g last friday my girl wet our bed, I mentioned to her before i left for work but when I returned the bed sheets and comforter were not changed and the bed stank. I had to remove them at 11pm when we went to bed. it was the first time this had happened. she usually changes the sheets when I tell her to.

at this mo, my thoughts are to monitor her with a CCTV or wireless camera but I wonder if i am being 'too much' at this early stage? what do you think?
 
twins,

Your maid's behaviour is clearly unacceptable.

First of all, you gave her a holiday back to Manila after only 10 months with you which is very generous.

Then she technically "stole" your mobile phone by not returning it to you.

She has also deceived you with regard to the $100 advance to buy a mobile phone. I would be questioning her character.

Your maid is developing mobile phone addiction. You may wish to put a stop to it telling her that her work has deteriorated since she has a mobile phone and make sure she does not use it during working hours. ie. she can only use it when she has retired for the day. You can also tell her that you do not want to hear it ring or vibrate in your home.

How did you mention these incident to her when they happened and what did she say?
 
Hi gals,

I just got an Indo/Christian maid last week. Her bio data states that she is a mother of 3 at the age of 24. She got married when she was 16. She just got a divorce and that her husband strayed leaving 3 kids to her. I dun mean that she should be melancholy at all times but she is so so cheerful and happy that she doesn't seem to be experiencing any impact from this "divorce".

Why do I suspect that she is lying? Well, first day when she came, my sis in law's maid was present. I can understand a little Indonesian though I told her that I do not. Roughly, when my sis in law's maid remarked that she is so young and already have 3 kids. She asked what kids? My sis in law's maid told her that her bio data states that she had 3 kids, then she quickly said yes...More importantly, she do not know how to carry my boy well. She carries him in an akward position that made my boy uncomfortable. There is a few things that she did that I was not so pleased about.
1) Kissed my boy's face first day when she was travelling in the car with us.

2) That first night, we brought her to my mum in law's place to eat. She impressed me initially coz she took the initiative to feed my son when my mum in law brought in the porridge. Half way through feeding, my sis in law's maid went to eat. I thought it would be better for my maid to eat together with her. So with the intention of telling her to go and eat, I asked her if she is hungry. She said yes and straight away pass the baby's porridge into my hands and went to eat. I had not told her to go makan yet.I am not sure if she understood me? So I gave her the benefit of the doubt. However, today's events assured me that she understood that I was asking her a question and that she just told me to feed the baby myself while she ate. My husband and myself had not even eaten yet.

3) For the past few days, when she bathed, she did not change her underwear and bra. Also she wore the same clothes. My mother in law cannot tahan, she told her to change. (She is currently staying at my mum in law's place coz our house is under reno. My family shifted to my mum's place.This is only a temp arrangement).

4) Today, she came into the car and her body odour filled up the car. I really dun know what to do. Must buy her perfume? Extra $$$!!???

5) She puts her finger inside my baby's mouth to take a piece of biscuit to see if there is any biscuit choking him. This is ridiculous as I just took out a piece and there is nothing much left in his mouth. I nearly fainted. She really has no sense of hygiene.

6) I know that I am mean to say this but she has got pimples on her face. Some quite big ones and my son kept on using his hands to touch her face. My son is only 9 months and at this stage, he is constantly putting his fingers inside his mouth. Also after she carried my son, my son stank of her BO! Help!!

7) Today, while I was shopping for cloth nappies for my son, my daughter wanted to play with toys in the adjacent store. So my maid went with her. When I went to look for her, my adughter was left playing by herself and my maid was busy talking to a maid whom seemed very reluctant to talk to her. Best part was that she did not stop immediately after she saw me...continue a sentence or 2 then smiled at me. She told me that the other maid was her friend back in Indonesia. I dun believe it at all...the other maid obviously dun know her.

8) I passed my son to her while I look at some designs of the nappies. My daughter passed my maid her water bottle (those with a sling strap.) and rushes off to see more toys. My maid tapped my elbow and gesture me to take the water bottle because she apparently cannot carry my son and sling the water bottle on her shoulders! If I can carry my sling bag and the heavy baby's bag while I carry my son, I cannot see why she cannot carry my son and sling the water bottle over her shoulders! I was very very pissed!!

9) The last straw came when we sent her back to my mum in law's place.While my husband went to get her dinner, she told me that her friends do cleaning of house, taking care of the kids and wash cars but for her, she dun wash cars, only cleaning house and taking care of babies. We suspected that she came up with this because my sis in law's maid told her that she need not wash cars. The reason my sis in law's maid need not wash car is that my sis in law engaged the void deck indian car washer. On hearing that my isi in law's maid need not wash car, she also wanted that for herself. And she is saying this eventhough for the past 5 days after we got her, she only mopped the floor and that's all she did for the whole day!!!! The reason is that i was away for hols with my kids and hubby. So there's nothing much to do around the house. She slept most of the time according to my mum in law. It's not like we made her work so hard and she requested not to wash car coz she is exhausted. We have not even start any work proper yet. I was very nice to her in terms of mannerism and all. Obviously, she is taking my kindness for weakness. I want to have a talk to trash out her duties and I intend to give her the daily schedule for a start. However, my sis in law thinks that it is better to ask the agency to talk to her. I am not sure which is better....
 
Hi Liana,

Thank you for your advice. actually my gut feel is also that she is not an honest person. i haven't broach the topics yet as my girl stays alone at home with her all the time, I wasn't sure what to do...my gf mentioned that I should not be lenient on her but my personality has always been like this, I can't be stern enough for the impact. I am not sure if this is going to work but last night, I thought seriously again of quitting to spend time with my girl to make sure she is ok... my friends always said that I should not bend for my maids and give up my career as a result of their styles etc.

I stay in a midclass condo where the maids here all serve long years and are paid very well. they even have money to buy beers during new year day when they get together to celebrate??!! recently she mentioned they are all better paid than her, I spoke to my husband and he didn't think I should raise her salary just bcoz she asked, but I thought to myself what is the $50 extra if that is going to buy her care for my girl another few more months.... just how long will she really take care of her after I raise the remuneration... it is another difficult one for me.
 
The previous post happened last week. I posted it in a maid discussion topic but did not receive any reply coz when I read further, everyone comes here for discussion of maids. I had sent her back to the agency. I still post what had happened to give a bit of background of the happenings between us. For those previous incidents, I got my sis in law's maid to translate and she insisted that the duty list given to her did not include washing car. Moreover she said that she wanted to wash but Singapore agency DID NOT allow her to since it was not on the list. Since she insisted it was the Singapore agency, we went back to the agency to trash things out. Over there, her story about her life changed to she was never divorced...her parents did not like her husband who was 40 years old. They had a dream, that is, to have their own home so that her parents cannot interfere in her life. Her husband went to Papua New Guinea to work while she headed for Singapore. 2 years later, they would go back and buy their own house.


At that time though I was not very convinced, I wanted to give her another chance after she agreed to washing car. My husband felt that she was a total mismatch with our family(our kids dun let her go near them) and his family as well (most of the time, she would be looking after my kids at my in law's place.)and wanted to change. Most importantly, he did not trust her at all. I told him to give another chance. This time I gave her the house rules and daily schedule...but she did not follow. I still gave her time to adjust. I bought her a indo-English dictionary and placed it in the living room. I also bought books on Indonesian language and write down what I wanted to let her do or teach her in my notebook so that I can talk to her in her language. I also taught her essential english words and sentences. Still, my baby refused to let her carry. She seemed to think it was funny that my baby refused to let her carry. She kept on giggling and laughing. It really got onto my nerves but still I taught her how to play with my son and even how to carry and feed my son as she dun seemed to know at all.eg. she feed milk but did not tilt the bottle such that my boy kept on sucking in air. I am sure she does not have 3 kids like she claimed.


Many times, she giggles at whatever I taught her. Only later I understand why...she wanted to catch my husband's attention. It was rather dramatic what happened yesterday. All these times, due to our house under renovation, the maid stayed with my mum in law and my hubby plus myself and 2 kids at my mum's place. My mum's place dun have enough room for the maid hence the arrangement. There was never a single time that my hubby was alone with her all these 11 days that she was with us except yesterday. My mum in law went out with my father in law. My sis in law wanted to service her car hence there was no one in the family to jaga her. Therefore my husband brought my daughter over to my mum in law's place and stayed there to make sure the maid did not do anything funny. My daughter is very close to my sis in law and wanted to follow her to the service center. Not wanting to be alone with the maid, my husband went along with my sis in law. 2 cars were out as my sis in law is not sure if the car problem would require the car to be left at the service center hence my husband drove ours there to drive her back if her car had to be left at the service center. Upon reaching there, the mechanic told my sis in law that the problem can be fixed in about 10mins. Hence she told my hubby to drive back first while she wait for the car.


My daughter wanted to stay with my sis in law so my hubby drove back with the maid to my mum in law's place. Apparently, the maid was only too happy to see that finally there was a chance to be with my hubby alone. She apparently did not know that my sis in law would be back shortly since it took only 10 mins to fix the car. My hubby went to rest in my sis in law's room. The maid went into her room to get something and went to find my hubby. Sje said she had a letter for him. My hubby was shocked. He asked if it was for me or agency but maid insisted that it was for him. Then she went back to her room. My hubby read the letter which was written in broken English. The contents were as follows: first paragraph tells him to keep this letter between him and her. Not to let me know.

Then she went on to say that the other maid (my bro in law's maid who looked after his babies at my mum in law's place as well) told her about my hubby and me something like we did not get along well (this is total bullshit as my bro in law's maid is never the kind that gossips. she has been here loyally for 4 years with us and we know her very well.)

She went on to say that if my hubby love her, only need to tell her but not to mention any of these to me. If my hubby wish to know her heart, she also love him since the day he fetched her from agency. She wanted my hubby to know that she wants him to go often into her room in the middle of the night. That is her secret wish and again told my hubby not to tell me.And she even refered to my hubby as "darling". Lastly, she wrote that she did not want my hubby to be nice to me in front of her as she would be jealous.

After reading, my hubby was disgusted and went up to her to tell her that he did not understand her letter and that Madam (refering to me) would understand better. She insisted for my hubby not to tell me and told my hubby that she has got a hot body.She obviously dunno the diff between FAT and hot...hahaha..not to mention smelly..Anyway my hubby communicated to her using the Indo-eng/eng-ino dictionary telling her that he always tell me everything. Upon seeing that my hubby dun bite her bait (of course lah, you should see her ...gosh I wonder if her eyes are okay or the mirror she used is okay...)she turned violent. She tried to snatched the letter back. My hubby held onto the letter and shouted for her to stay away. My sis in law and my daughter came back and my hubby warned her to stop her nonsense in front of my daughter coz it may scare her. The maid then knelt on the floor begging him to return the letter. My hubby told her to calm down and he lied to her that he would not tell me coz she was scaring my daughter. After that my hubby called me to tell me that he was coming back. After he came back, he related the whole incident and showed me the letter. We decided to return her to the agency immediately. I bought the dictionary to help her with her work...she used it to write a love letter for my hubby...what a joke...

Whoops gals, have to stop here coz gotta feed my boy...will continue when I can. I will upload her letter and her photo so that you gals can avoid using her. She had intended to come here to look for a man to take care of her. The agency told me that she would be transferred. My agency is Jack Focus.
 
hehehe..so funny..but scary too..
she sounded so desperate!
she must had been influenced by her ppl there tht singapore is easy to find a bf/husband..
 
Hi All

Good morning..maids really got so many patterns and headache....Glad to have come into this forum to learn more about it...

Just a latest upate of my fresh indo maid that arrived on haji last month.

1 Complaint house too big.

2Throw away food

3 Sleep talk and screaming at night when sleeping

4Very bad breadth and I asked her to drink more water. still cannot, so i get her to drink salt water....once or twice in her whole duration with me.

5Overslept on last friday, sleep on her mattress the night before, but come morning, she sleep on her bag.

6Starts mumering....Told my friend on the phone my house has party the night before....which is nuts...

7Pass urine on her pants while cleaning the floor on 3rd floor and came down and apologised.

8 Send her back to agent last friday before noon.

9Saturday, she kept vomiting and agent sent her to changi general hospital.

10Now, waiting for report....

All in all. its my luck to meet her....I have strong feelings that either she has medical problem or its an act so she will not be scolded when she is sent back to agency....

Anyway, not sure what gonna happen but she give me headache.....
 
Hi mummies again

Please note that maid needs 8hour of sleep. rule as per mom....beware, they may turn around and complaint that they are abused...esp if work schedule has got black and white written their timing to rest.....
 
Tricia - Heh heh, yr case really dramatic...Good thing you have observed this early enough and gotten rid of her.

Rainbow - Sleep talk seems common ah? My ex-ID maids also like that...quite scary sometimes when they talk in Indonesian in the middle of the night. Pass urine on her pants? Wah, she got urine incontingency meh? Then go and change immediately lah...how come she would bother to tell you?
 
Hi All..

Beeen going through the posts and so sad to find that we can't good maids. I took a long time before deciding on a maid. Most times I've been using part time nannies. Till one had a heart attack then I took a Myanmese one. Anyway she has maids to recommend and I was wondering if anyone is interested. My own maid has been with me for 6 months and I think she's great. The paperwork is still done by the agent though so the usual fees apply. There is also contract to sign. Also no upfront loan.

So if you are keen pls drop me an email [email protected] or just call 81130573

I hope we can help..
 
All maids are the same..... It depends on our luck to get terrible / not so terrible / Barely acceptable maid.

Mine should be categorized under barely acceptable.

I dunno whether is it I am fussy or the maid is stupid. Sometimes I really dun understand her way of doing things when I sit and observe her.

Last few days the weather was bad. It rains in the middle of the night. It was almost 7am but the sky is still quite dark due to the dark clouds. My maid can still hang out laundry to dry. And it was actually drizzling outside. Will u hang out the laundry to dry if the sky is full of dark clouds and rain has just stopped? Or I am fussy? For me, I will wait a little longer to confirm that the rain has stopped totally before putting laundry out to dry.

This is only one incident. There are many other more..... My mum still scold her everyday..... She kept telling my mum if we don't like her can send her back. My mum was so pissed so told her not to always threaten us to send her back. Also told her if she want us to send her back, she has to pay us the remaining advance pay which we have paid the agency and immediately we will send her back. She kept quiet.

So far she has not raise voice to any of us or my kids. Hence, I m keeping her.
 
Tricia,
Your maid's story is both shocking and funny. Thanks for sharing with us. I have a blog that includes a list of maids to avoid. Can I include your maid ? Please PM me her full name and work permit number, if possible.

http://www.singaporemaid.blogspot.com/

Rainbow,
Your maid is terrible! I thought you were going to ask your friend to help you select a maid ? This is the maid she selected ?

Hi all,
In my case, after 7 times of bad luck, my 8th maid is very very good. She is very reliable, can cook, can keep the house clean, very attentive, and can even remind me of things. I am very forgetful compared to her. She is very good with my kids, and my kids like her very much. She even takes good care of my father who is very old, and she is very respectful to my mother. Best of all, she does not have many friends, so she is not interested to make phone calls or go out at all. Her only problem is she is quite slow, but I am OK with that.

So don't give up ! There are very good maids out there. Just keep looking !
 
Hi Babycutie - do you get stressed when yr mom complains??? I get v stressed and I really want my mom to be pleased with the maid.

So far, my maid is performing to my expectations. My mom has so far not really complained to me abt her either (not sure she cant be bothered to complain or what lah). Whenever I asked my mom abt the progress of the maid, my mom nvr appear positive abt the maid - like she doesnt sound enthusastic. So my final review is that she can accept the maid, but not in a way where she LIKES her...not sure why, seems every maid we had, she nvr LIKES anyone. Until one ran away, or when i send away some, then she makes comparisons how okay those girls are. Sometimes this drives me mad!!

For this current maid, it appears that my maid is scared and sensitive to my mom, cos my mom is those loud loud kind. Even a small mistake, my mom can talk until so loud that it seems to be become a big issue. Also, my mom does everything herself in the past and she doesnt have the habit of teaching and so when comes to teaching the maid, sometimes she will skip steps, or the maid dont understand her, or easiest, she does it herself. Some maids get v sensitive and they thought ah-mah dont like them.

Yday, my maid seems to have the intention of not working for us. With the help of the agent, she then feel much better and take it more positively with regards to my mom.

I feel stressed really. I cannot tell my mom abt the maid's feelings, cos my mom can get v sensitive abt it and then threaten to say things like then ask the maid dont come to her plc, and let her look after the kids at my own home blar blar...

Not only I have to pray that my maid can do the job, but also have to pray my mom approves of her and the maid wont easily give up due to the treatment. Sigh....
 
Tricia,

I have gotten a Indo Christian maid before. I asked around, I realised that Indo Christian is less humble than a Muslim maid. Very difficult to teach her. Based on that I actually did a mini research. Indo Christian are usually from a group called batak. Their ancestors are fierce warriors who are very superstitious. In fact, they are cannibals. Even though my ex-maid is a christian, she still follows ancient customs. Just a month ago, she told my mum that her village is experiencing volcanoic eruption. In order to appease the GODS. a villager was sacrificed to die to help the whole villager. After that research and experience with my ex-maid, I decided to switch to a Indo Muslim. Awaiting for her arrival.
 
eileen, same boat here. I get super stressed when my mum and MiL complains abt the maid as well. The worst thing is I cannot side the maid cos then they'll get offended. Sometimes it is not the maid's fault but then they so suay have to tahan this... how?

btw, can you PM me your agent's contact? dunno why my PMs din get to you leh.
 
allo, Nellu - just the contact you need only? i always asked myself why har...after all changed so many maids, this one is supposed to be best liao lor...so why they sometimes cannot tolerate abit leh?

But i realised something...when i really dont like a maid, somehow my mum keep encouraging me to accept that maid leh. Drives me mad really...

Everytime a maid comes onboard, then she will say, give them time and chance lah..dont be like that. But ultimately my mom seems to comment more than me leh..

That day I organised my younger boy 1st bday party. For abt 2 weeks, I didnt work and we stayed at my own house. Then my mom started checking this and that. Then I realised, I previously have maid who was with me for 4 mths, i find her alright, but when we are all at my own home during my confinement, my mom keeps complaining her until i cant stand it - and finally I changed her. Actually her mistakes can be forgiven, but maybe tat time so stressed that I want to make sure my mom is pleased with the maid.

After all these incidents, I realised I am trying so much to please my mom and if this one she still not happy with, then forget it, I will get some other help! We all know good maids - or acceptable maids are hard to find, so why still bother so much abt trival matters!

Very frustrated really!
 
eileen, thanks. if u can give me other useful info like agency fees, loan repayments, all those things, would be helpful.

i'm monitoring my maid again. my greatest grouse with her is her bo chap-ness..sometimes close eyes still can tahan..but then i'm sian fr hearing all the comments, somewhat also spoil relationship with maid...
dunno how...just monitor..if cannot change lor
 
eileen,
I am immuned to it oredi. Whenever my mum complain, I just keep quiet and listen. My mum will always tells me... ay u tell the maid ah... ask her to do this this this.....that that that.... I just keep quiet and reply ok. But I didn't tell the maid lah....

Only those important ones than I tell her.

To be frank, I find my maid still ok. Just that sometimes do thing never use brain. Very good in talking. When u tell her that this thing must be done like this, she can answer you, yes correct.... but she herself never do it in the first place. Until somebody tells her then she said correct. Worst, after saying correct, never see her use the method.... Haiz...

For the sake of my kids (she can handle them and my kids like her), I am keeping her. Due to she don't have attitude problem (so far, she is with us for 4 mths) and do her daily and weekly chores accordingly. Otherwise, I won't hesitate to send her away.

Like your mum, my mum NEVER liked any of my maids. I dunno how true. I heard it is very difficult for maid and old folks to get along. Each has their own way of doing things. Also maids don't like to work with old folks at home.
 
babycutie, eileen10,
i feel that for my case it's different...
My mother do tell me at times that the maid did not do this and this well and according to what she expects, but she usually closes one eye... otherwise, she will tell her off directly and immediately...
Also, my maid seems to get along with my mother better than me! At my mother's place (where she spends her time on weekdays morning till evening), she seems to be more 'talkative' and will occasionally make small talk with my parents... Also, for things that involve my girls, she will tell it directly to my mother, instead of ME! This sometimes frustrate me in a way as i only get to know it thru my mother...

At my place, she is basically very quiet... Of course, i'm ok with it, dun need a talkative maid and someone trying to make small talk with me...

I am thinking why is there such a difference... i think firstly is because my parents speak Bahasa to her so mayb she feels more 'at home' with them... for me, i also dun allow any opportunity for small talk, she is expected to do her daily and weekly chores at my place or look after my kids when i'm not free to attend to them...
Is this normal ah? or am i being too much as an employer?
 
Tamarind
Friend did not pick this maid. She asked me to choose first since my maid will be leaving and she is not in indo yet...big mistake man...

Now she has shortlisted three candidates but she will conduct the interview first...

UPDATE
My maid suspect to have dengue or bacterial attack or has got history of liver infection...still waiting for the report to be out.

Do not think its dengue as i had that before and one of the symptom is not cannot walk properly and vomitting...
 
Tricia,
WOW Gal!!! That is AMAZING. A-mazing...what a stupid horrible I dun know what to call her.

The agency cannot be serious right....after this sort of rubbish she has to be deported!

Suggest you email MOM and send scanned letter as attachment. Tell them that this maid is a threat to the Singaporean family nucleus. Under MOM guidelines for FDWs I remember reading one of the rules that maids must abide by is "do not break up families".

Not that she could ever break up a family since she is so dirty, smelly, disgusting...blah.

Send her back to hell where she came from.
 
hi moms,
hopw to get some tips from u...
my php helper has been with us for abt a yr...
she's alone looking after my 2yo ger alone at home.
rgds,
wendy
 
Hi All

I need help esp from those who has similar experience.

My maid was suspected to have dengue and was admitted to hospital.Now, the hospital keeps on carry different test on her, one moment bacteria. next moment, liver...all these are making bill escalating...We are the employer and we are liable for all this expenses tho can claim insurance but no matter how its only 5k for two months...

Anyone know how we can cut short and solve the problem?thanks
 
plim,
R u stern to your maid? Perhaps that is the reason that she kept a distant from you. And u show those no joking attitude.

Your mum may correct her mistakes but maybe her tone is different from you? So your maid feel at ease to work with her?

You can only know when u r around in the house to observe. Otherwise, the only way is to hint to you mum abt this n see wat your mum tells u.
 
babycutie,
i don't think i'm fierce to her, but i will tell her in a stern voice if she did not do the right thing. Other than that, when i instruct her to do things, it's just normal tone wor... i will not joke with her also...

I know my mum will also scold/chid her for things she did not do it correctly, also in stern way.

so far, what i observed is that when she speaks in Bahasa to my mother, it seems to be very easy and her tone of voice is very at ease... whereas when she speaks english to me, it's always like very soft and uncertain... i suspect language is why she is behaving in this way...
another reason cld b bcos she spends more time with my mum at her place (on weekdays except for night time)...

At a dilemma, cos i dun wan the maid to be too scared to work for me, neither do i wan her to be too at ease working for me, cos if she is too at ease, definitely her work will become chin-chai and will hv no respect for u!
 


plim,
maybe your maid is not confident with her english, hence she has such mannerisms.

my maid is somewhat similar in her difference of attitude. but for my case it is because my MiL is hard of hearing and tends to be more soft-hearted. so the maid takes advantage of that. i know that my maid plays politics with my MiL and I and try to drive a wedge between us, but now that my MiL is not going to be here so often, my maid is so going to 'die'...cos no one to complain to! :p
 
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