Advise on Baby & Maid Exps

I just scolded my maid. She had forgotten to place a bottle of water for my boy to drink. My mum has instructed her that everytime after washing the water bottle for my boy, she has to top up with clean water and put on top of the speaker in the living room. So that there is always water comes in handy when my boy wants to drink.

Just now the maid was having a bath around 9.30pm. My boy was tossing and turning in his playpen. Usually this is a sign that my boy wants to drink water. I can't find the water bottle at all. Then realise the maid did not "standby" the water.

I was so angry. Lately my mum started to complain again. So once and for all I air it all out. I told the maid that my kids are very important to me. She has to take good care of them. And housework wise, whatever method we taught her, she has to follow. I don't care what she method she use in her previous employer's house, NOW she is working with me, she has to follow my method.

She look frighten and apologise. I really hope that this will strike her mind.....

I will check her work every 2-3 wks. Any place not properly done, I won't hesitate to question her.
 


thanks for the info Jo..

i'm Filipino chinese, hb is singaporean. we speak mostly english or hokkien at home, but also tagalog...
 
mummies
remember me, my maid complained her workload to my agent. i sent her back to the agency yesterday. i told her to pack 30mins beforehand. she called her 'mentor'(her relative who is a old bird here, it's this mentor who called the agency to complain) secretly to ask her wat to do? i think she thot i am going to send her back to philipine, she started to cry and said she doesn't want to transfer, she will miss my kids bla bla. my agent toked to her and later told me she is acting and true enuf after i told her i give her my blessings to find a better employer, she stopped crying and din open her mouth from then on. wah, they should go participate in star search. hopefully, my new maid(a transfer one) will work harder. really waste of money and effort to change a maid...
 
Lani,
Thanks for your feedback. I'll get her a set of baju kurung then. Do you know where i can get nice baju kurung with reasonable pricing?
 
yenny_tay
hw come she still has time to call? she has MP? yalor.. u r right most of the maid can take part in the starsearch, i oso said my maid, if there is the contest of 'super bluffing' , i will enroll her, she sure 2 get champion 1... ha..ha..ha..
 
Haiz..just type a post n lost..hav to type again..

I agreed FDW r good at acting, they should go TCS instead of work as FDW.

I'm going to show my maid her data, hav bb exp, can cook chinese food, and I expect she can do all this w the amount I agreed to pay her, will tell her (levy + salary +food +medical 6mthly) so she understand my position n not compare/ not content.

I nearly forget why i employed maid n nearly i adapt to her..help her bb care, do cooking, stay home..yet paying her..trying to understand her but now I want she understand me n really cannot, she hav to go.. that is bad news for me
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So tired with all this maid matter,like never ending.
 
vivid,
the best place to shop for reasonably-priced baju kurung and with a wide variety is at the Hari Raya Bazaar going on now at Geylang lor. If you wanna try the shops, then go either to Joo Chiat Complex or Tanjong Katong Complex.
 
yenny_tay
or rather hp, i so used 2 said mp(mobile phone). U dn't stand beside her when she pack? tt y alot ppl said philp maid is very smart, they no where 2 seek 4 help. Indo maid gt habbit in stealing, headache, get maid oso need 2 faced so much problem.
 
sandra
yeah, my 1st maid who is an indo stole my thing, that's why i change to filipino. I let my maid use hp but can only use it during their rest time. no, i din see her pack leh cos i was doing other things.
 
sandra
yeah, my 1st maid who is an indo stole my thing, that's why i change to filipino. I let my maid use hp but can only use it during their rest time. no, i din see her pack leh cos i was doing other things.
 
Hi All


Good morning...allow me to pour some complaints....

Treating Maid
Personally I find that we cannot talk to a maid like a friend, cos they are like kid , do not know their limits....I tried and its true....

Using House Phone
Told my maid, no using of the phone after 11pm and must always ask me first before using it cos its courtesy....She did .However, as I was quite friendly with her last two days, at 11pm, she just take the phone and tell my daughter to tell me she wants to use the phone.I was asleep then.

I was not happy.Told her off this morning, if she want to do anything, asked me n not my gal cos she is a kid. She knows but as usual not very happy....

Anyone shares similar experience in being friendly with maid and the outcome?
 
Yes. Def.

I gave her a room and a bed - not mattress on the floor. Told her not to shut the door. She tested my patience. Make the gap smaller each day. Throw tantrums. Wants equal treatment. Questioned me where I am going and is she is going. I sent all her stuff to the store. Bought her a Seahorse mattress and she sleeps in the living room. Told her is she cant accept the sleeping arrangement. She is free to go.

Allowed her to eat freely, thinking how much can she eat. I was wrong. She finishes them ALL. None of the employer. Result: Giving her limited ss every month. Will deduct her pay if she steals my food. I know she is pinching snacks at my mum's place, thinking I do not know. I din talk to her cos the problem is not so serious. Close an eye.

Allowed her to scoop her own food. Big mistake, she keeps the drumstick for herself and we eat other parts. Result: We scoop all meals for her.

Initially allow her to make a phone call from my phone to tell her parents that she is safe and with new employer. She starts to tell me how down she is feeling and need to call. I allow her to call from my hp. Becomes frequent, looks sad and blah blah. I took her hongbao $ to buy phone card. MIRACULOUSLY, she tells me that she DOESNT NEED to call cos her bro Hp reception no good. She prefers to save the $. ha!

All I can say is that it is not employers do not want to be nice to them. We cant cos they will ask for more. My maid is smart. The prob is that her employer is smarter. I dont stock food at home. If she finish her ration, too bad.Can you believe that she finish a tin of biscuits, milo, a box of chocolates, 2 packs of maggi mee in 10 days! The best part is she is only at my place on Sat and Sun and doesn bring anything to my mum's place cos my mum cooks!

Best to maintain clear r/s -employer and employee. No need to be nice. No need to buy extra stuff. They are not here to seek friends or bond with here. The reason why they are here is just to make $.
 
ribenagal, maybe she shut the door for privacy? i mean as a female we also paiseh to sleep in front of males right? but she does eat alot!!
 
rainbow,
i do agree to a certain extent that when we become too friendly with the maid, they tend to forget that we are ultimately their employer and so should be accorded the respect. i think i did post here some time back, that there was a period that i was on very friendly terms with my maid, chatted with her alot. then aft that she somehow "forgot" that i am her employer and she is my employee. she started to talk to me disrespectfully, ie. answer back, or sometimes her tone is quite rude, angry and impatient. and there were a few times also she gave me "instructions" on how to wash my own dd's hands, as if i was the maid and she the employer!

so aft that i put a stop to it. i stopped being overly friendly and stopped engaging in idle chit-chat, and made sure the boundaries were clear. pls do not mistake this hor, i still treat her with utmost respect, ie. talk to her nicely, hardly scold her or raise my voice at her, show her respect, i respect her privacy, etc. i just stopped engaging in unnecessary friendliness, that's all. the working r'ship improved aft that, ie. she became more aware of it and did her work as instructed, but most importantly showed me the respect as an employer.
 
Ya, agreed not to treat them like family member or too friendly, they will take advantages. Till end u will hurt and she think she deserve it, instead appreciate how well u treat her.Only employer-employee relation.

My maid, said her previous employer let her use hse phone n deduct later.. but I would prefer she buy her own card.. tell her that at least she know how much she used ..if wait for bill..u might over used the phone.. think she still prefer to use my hse phone call out and deduct from her salary.. the problem is I cant know if she make local call..her sister work here..my bill only show IDD call.
 
Lani/ Tamarind/ Babycutie

As you know, I just came back from Phuket, told mil to take care of maid. Wanted maid to help mil clean up her house, esp those cabinets and hard to reach areas, cos mil can't squat or climb. We oso asked maid to write watever she did every hour, so we can check. And we specifically told mil, no aircon for maid and dun bring her out. Guess wat?

Mil on aircon for maid on the 1st night, but 2nd rain, so no on. She say too troublesome to bring in the fan cos no wheels for the maid to push!!! I say 20kg luggage the maid can carry, wat is a fan!! See I pissed or not. When we asked mil if she on aircon, she said NO, but my maid v innocent always tell the truth. So mil say oh, on but low only!!! But still ON mah!

Then nevermind, we say dun bring the maid out, wat if something happens to her or wat, and we wan her to stay at home do housework. Fil din wan the maid to be alone at home, saying got cash at home. So, my mil brought her to Hokkien church service, hair saloon and see GP then see eye doctor. She is out almost all day!!! This maid oso dunno how to lie. she wrote 7pm dinner, watch tv/ rest, read newspaper, 930 pm sleep. tat lasted for 3 days!!! See I pissed or not. My hb even more pissed than me! HAhahaa....

Life in my house is already quite good, I pay for her home calls, since she can't call unless I allow, usually abt once a month. I bring her out at least 1 or 2 times a week. When she finishes her work, she can watch tv with us, usually from 9 to 930pm, then she sleep liao leh. Hardly eat left over food, usually we ask her go downstairs buy her own food if we din cook. I dun give her a schedule, as long as she keeps the house clean can liao. But mil really spoil the maid. I told her this is a maid, not her fren. My hb asked isit her God daughter!
 
We realised that when she had the room, she feels too at home. I agree the she may want privacy but for my maid, I cant give her too much privacy. Now that she is sleeping in the living room, which is very open. She know her rights better. Honestly, my family treated her v well but bring childish she expected more. So we took away all the privileges. She begins to be more aware of what she needs and has to do. I even told her straight in the face that I will not keep her if not for my mother who chose her. In fact, I actually signed to transfer her out. Guess what after all these harsh cold treatment, she really become a good maid. I dont have much problems with her for now. She doesn want to leave my household cos the meals are just too good and she doesn do much really. We cook and she washes. She doesn sleep with babies. I am the one who has been without sleep. She just do general cleaning. She knows and she will not leave but to improve herself to be a better maid.
 
I dont bring my maid out at all. tried doing it. Guess what, she always give me problems that week. So no more. Even my hubby who is not fussy is not for the idea of bringing her out... My maid is that kind who will observe and compare herself with others. So going out is a no no. I told her, if she wants to go out. can . pay me back the $20.
 
Mom2nat

Noticed tt all e old ppl,(MIL,FIL,M or F)treat e maid very well, my fil everyday without fail go n buy breadfast 4 e maid, i hv provided her all e food, he still do it, maid oso very smart, u buy i eat, everyday eat double portions, until 1 day fil leak up then i question her, she then said sometime only nt everyday, c bcome a habbit liao... even afternoon teabreak oso need 2 provide, work leh... dont do cos full oledi, juz rest lor... when u question her, she will said everything done, n show her e dirty, she will give u black face n throw things, fil stil can said no need 2 do... hb best still said dont scold her muz treat her nicely, work nv mind, juz do mimumun.... wah liao... mi always b a bad ppl, sometime juz think dont noe whether i'm too bad or in e wrong? maid will said mum very bad, sir n fil is gd ppl, ofcos rite? eat only dont do work, u juz imagine, everyday muz provide her fruit oso, half a papaya(one big papaya into half) n 4 bananas, who can affort, all spolit by fil... any 1 can tell hw 2 hander tis maid, cos cant stop fil 4 buying all stuffs.
 
abt IL treating maids good n nice... i had the same experience w my 1st maid. she really stand firm with "3 legs" .. even to the extent can climb over my head. but i showed my IL n that maid "who is the employer" cos i send her back w/o letting my IL knowing. Actually wanted to tell my IL earlier but their son refuse to tell them until 1/2 hr b4 my dad came with my uncle to "escort" the maid to airport. haha since then, they dare not treat my current maid that good.
 
hi mommies,

not just ILs, even my own parents. the maid is spoilt man...no need to cook, no need to do housework at their house, just wash up the plates/pots, jagar toddlers when they come back from playgroup. everyday eat curry, my dad cooks for her, my mom ensures she has breakfast even though maid would have already eaten at my house before going over with children!!! when we stay over at my parents place when DH is out of town even worse, my dad would fry bee hoon for breakfast, halah and non halah portion!! waaa, i peng San, I told my parents if you want to spoil the maid it's fine, at the end of two years if maid still so low skill, then I will have to send her back.

i think it's the older generation thingy where they think the maid is very young, so must sai yang...

jm2c

harriet
 
Sandra
fainted... the way you describe the fruits your maid takes, makes me think of an elephant. Do you live with your fil? Actually, we are not ill treating our maids, just tat we dun need to treat them like a guest at home!! If I dun control my mil, she will end up like your fil leh. But my hb is v fierce lor, and my maid v scared of him, cos he is the "inspector". b4 we had a maid, he cleans up the whole house, so now with maid, he trains the maid, not me. And he goes from corner to corner to diff rooms, and check for dust! We dun give her a fixed schedule, as long as you keep the house clean and neat, we are fine. LIke right now i am surfing the net, I oso dunno wat is my maid doing. I tell her go find something to do!! HOHOho...
Oh, my maid eats a lot of rice. Raw rice is 1 cup!! I have to cook 1 cup for her leh!
 
hi Lani,

totally agree with you cos i share exactly the same experience as you, chat and be too friendly, and the maid forgot about her place! Wahh, even dare to talk back and try to be too smart!!

now it's purely employer and employee relationship. much better less idle talk, more work done and leave her to talk with the children and my mom who converse with her in malay. interestingly when she goes to my parents' place when i work, she's full of smiles, when she come home, more serious and keeps herself busy.



harriet
 
Mom2nat
nt only e fruits, u know "fa gao", we use 2 pray e God, she can finish e whole fa gao(which cost $1.80 middle size)within her afternoon teabreak, which i very annoyed, i said no afternoon teabreak yet she dont listen lor... fil spoilt her liao... i even wrote down all e job spect 4 her, she still dont follow, as wat i said she noe she has "huo shan", she nt scare lor... nv mind i'm looking up nw, but still cant get 1... definitly send her home

mylvera
i hv same experience with u, i oso sent my 2nd maid home without my fil noticed, he still dont leart e lesson, still treat e present maid same technic, i very headache liao.. even my hb oso stand @ his father there... tt y i said dont noe who is @ wrong nw? ya.. i d tell my both maid u muz noe who is yr boss, they still dont care, still "3 legs" my fil n hb lor.. mayb men more "ching chye" lor... so maid take advantage..
 
Rainbow,
I don't treat the maid like a friend. I don't know what to talk about with them. I talk to them only when I give instructions or correct them, or ask about how the kids are. My current maid, 38 years old, is very humble. I think all my maids are scared of me, may be because I can be very fierce hehehe


mom2nat,
Wa your maid so good life with your in-laws. She didn't even need to cook dinner or wash plates ? Does she have good attitude ? Some maids may just take it for granted.

It's amazing that your maid can eat so much rice, is she very fat ?

My mother told me she knew one old lady whose DIL hired a maid for her to help take care of the kid(4 years old), but the old lady still have to cook and mop the floor ! My mother asked her what the maid do, the old lady said don't know !

My mother is different, she is very critical of the maid, and she will not spend a single cent on the maid. When my mother is around during the weekdays, the maid is so busy she doesn't have time to sit down. But during weekends when my mother goes home, my maid doesn't seem to have so much things to do.
 
ribenagr8s,
Your maid does have a very good life in terms of workload. She is being very ungrateful. Some maids may think that they can easily get similar or better job out there, so they don't treasure the job. But being transferred out means that they lose 2 month salary. I got one ex-maid who was transferred a few times in one year, she still insisted on changing employer !
 
mom2nat,
Welcome back!! How was your trip??
I dunno what to say because there is nothing u can do since u r overseas. If yr MIL is those who treat ppl well, no matter who u entrust to her, she will still show her hospitality. Just treat that your maid had a 4 days holidays lor.... She will not have such privilege since u r oredi back.

And what done cannot be undone. It will be the same if u entrust yr maid to your MIL in the future. A leapard will not change its spot. Unless u look for alternative to house yr maid.

All my maids are not so fortunate. My mum will treat a maid as a maid. To her, all maids are useless. They can't work and yet want to eat good stuff. Show face when being scolded. My mum is very strict with the maids. She will teach the maid and if the maid make the same mistakes again, my mum will scold the maid.

My current maid has joined me for nearly 3 weeks. She is ok with household chores. But I find she is not very keen in child minding. Even my mum oso said that. U know my neighbour saw this maid and ask my mum is it we change maid. My mum said yes. Guess what the neighbour comment?? She said: aiyo this one not the working type leh... My mum just smile. My mum also said my current maid cannot really make it.

I will just use her lah... since she don't show any attitude problem. Even if I want to change oso let her finish her loan then I will cancel her WP and send her back for good. Since her mandarin is so good, she will find employer very easy lah.

My mum said my neighbour got sharp eyes. So I told my mum, maybe next time when we choose maid, should ask her to help....
 
Babycutie
Hahaha.. my neighbour only noticed my maid pretty!
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But luckily it is a she.

Mine v new, and a little forgetful. Today I told her I am gg to bathe, when she go pick my girl take the key, lock the door. Well, she din take key and din lock door lor. She say she heard I say I am gg to bathe, but din hear the key part. I told hb, he say no brains to think.

My mil super nice lor, she thinks she should be nice to maids oso. Will ask her hungry or not, wan to eat blah blah... Makes me more angry she defends the maid. My maid used the wrong key to open the window grill, she when she twist the knob with force, it broke. But mil say, dunno how come clean halfway the knob drop down, maybe rusty liao!!! My hb so pissed, luckily my maid admitted she prob used the wrong key and told me the thing broke while in her hands, din drop. So you can imagine mil say things tat defends the maid!

I know many pple change maids bcos of mom or mil, really tiring leh. Here you are trying to cope with the logistics, paper work, find maid, blah blah... there she is complaing non stop. No maid is perfect, just gotta make do lor.I think if your mom dun complain so much, you prob find it easier to accept a maid. Where to find maid, can do housework, cook, look after kids, hardworking, alert, got initiative, smart, fast, clean... I think somethings just need to compromise lor. If you get my maid, prob you complain she slow, can't think, can't look after kids, can't cook blah blah... Anyway I give her time to learn lor, as long as I can still change her, I will try to. So she can learn oso.

Tamarind
My maid washed the dishes and helped do some housework, like clean floor, toilet and cabinets. But all these can be done v fast!! She din cook, cos they ta bao from downstairs. Oh, she loves rice, she is not fat, 46kg only, and even lost some weight.
My mom more critical of the maid, always say maid use things v fast blah blah... then i will say her back, housework all along oso not she do, how she know suppose to last how long the detergents.

My maid dare not give attitude, she v chicken hearted. My hb say spot check, she scared like hell. My mom say she prob can't sleep tat night she broke the window knob, cos next day we come back from Phuket. but hb told her as long as she told the truth then ok, which she did lor. She almost cried out when my hb asked her wat happened!!
If I scold her, she oso scared, dare not black face one.
 
Mom2nat,
Maybe yr maid really got a kind heart. Or she may pretend to be chicken hearted because she still owes the agency $$. Let's see how's her attitude after she finish serving the loan. If still the same, then u can slowly train her since she has kind heart.

My maid has evil heart. So I will not hesitate to send her away if she do anything funny.
 
Mom2nat, regarding where to find maid, can do housework, cook, look after kids, hardworking, alert, got initiative, smart, fast, clean... very neat n creative(hav idea how to make things better,using recycle..like sewing), very independant(I can travel leave her n my kids at home for few days), eat anything, she even keep food for next day if cant finish,help me save $ on water/electric.. I hav 1 ex-maid served 2yrs with me was like all the above mentioned.. of course hav weakness, so I closed my eyes and keep her n treat her like family member.. till she lied go home married after 2yrs contract.. she secretly use hp, bring my boy to school will use her hp,talking while walking..will go other places meet friend w my girl below 2yrs old after sending my boy, late to pick up my boy till the teacher called me but actually she went out early n go other places 1st.. have mood, sometimes black face, stubborn..

I believe hav pro n con but also not easy to get good maid. Nothing perfect
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depend on the weakness compare with her ability to work. If I can tahan, I will continue..
 
Mom2nat,

actually a timid maid is better than a bold maid. I rather mine is timid.

Yesterday, she broke a bowl AGAIN. I asked her what happened? Recently , she broke a claypot cover and lied about it. To punish her, she has to pay for it. It is that lie which cost her $. She told me," Sorry, you can deduct my pay." I told her to be gentle. She said I said sorry already. Wah Piang SAn!
 
Jo,
Your that maid sounds exactly like one of my ex-maid ! Everything is the same accept that she could not bring my kids to other places to meet friends, because my mother is at home to supervise. But if she had a chance, I am sure she would have done so. I treated that maid really well, too well in fact, I even bought her diamond necklace as a gift ! Stupid me right ? Then see how she repay me. I learn my lesson the hard way.

mom2nat,
I think it is good that your maid is chicken hearted. This type of maid easy for your to bully, I mean, control hehehe
 
Babycutie
Well, I oso is she real or pretend. But to my hb, v easy, he say if she is not performing, ask her to go home, he can easily train another maid. The agency told me this maid has a kind heart, which is good. So well, let's wait and see lor. She oso know she can't wayang in front of us.

Jo
Yah lor, always got pros and cons. If I catch my maid lying to me, bring my kids out to meet her frens, she can balek kampong. So wat if she can do housework and so on, at most find another one. One of my neighbours v lucky, her maid gg to serve her 5th yr liao. After her 6th yr she gg home to get married.

Ribena
Ay, your maid super rude leh. Tell her say sorry big deal ah, not repentent, can still answer back. Mine speaks so softly I told her I gg to get her a loud speaker!
 
Tamarind
Diamond necklace??!! I bought a $30 watch for her my sil already say no need so exp, cos you must compare with their pay. Hmmm...
 
mom2nat,
That was from SK Jewellery, the kind which the diamond so tiny must use magnifying glass to see, got discount and cost about $100. I shouldn't have done it
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Tam, mom2nat, after that ex-maid can work n independant(I can tahan her black face n hp/go out,tot I dont know just bcos I closed both eyes).. no more getting another maid at least can work n independant like her liao
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keep on getting lousy maid after her.. really headaches..

I buy her birthday n christmas, and gift when I travel w that country currency(like US,HK,Taiwan,Thailand dollar)..giv green packet($) on raya n CNY any pao($)..also increase her salary after 1yrs.. she can enjoy coffeebean cakes/ buy her fav coffee(daily for bfast),fav shampoo.. she hav new pillow/bedsheets buy according to her fav colour/design..eat w us in restaurant n also wedding/family dinner.. till my kids really tot she is a family member(sister).. so when she finish contract.. we ask her to continue but she said hav to get married n we welcome her any time she want to work here,can call/visit us like friend .. my kids will cry for her..missing her now n then.. after 3weeks she came back to work but without telling us,not even a call.. worst she come back the same agency, and i'm looking for maid w that agency..yet she can hide n dont want to let me know.. I did asked the agent whether they hav her contact no in indo,trying to contact her but the agent help her to lie..said no. I told the agent my kids crying for her, if she call them at least give my kids a call.. but she didnt,so hard hearted(even the agent told me,they dont hav feeling once the contract finish means end of the story,no matter how gd they r).Sad right..

All this I know, when I saw her employment in MOM website(FDW detail).. date start,is when I maidless.. I really hurt why she did that.. my boy still ask n concern abt her.. I told my boy not to hope for her to work w us..she is working w other employer liao.. u know wat my boy said.. why kakak dont come back to us? we treat her so well,care for her,miss her..?? I just reply, she work for $.. not the relationship, not ur real sister..can see my boy very disappointed n from then he know wat is kakak..someone work for $,n really care for him..like family's love.
 
hi mon2nat,

timid maid better than bold maid. my maid initially also quite timid, quite easy to train, because they will follow instructions but after loan finish, more bold, speak louder and dare to show face. but good thing is during the first 7 months of 'timidness', she learnt what was required out of her job, so now even more bold, job duties are on target.
but one thing to consider, if you MIL is very good to her, ask your maid to count her lucky stars but I guess you may not want to add on too much kindness, cos they will take it for granted after a while. I always tell my maid that my parents take good care of her, she should help around with washing up after meals, ensuring the floors are clean for the children's sake. Amazingly, 6 months back, maid say she has to help do housework at my parents' place ask if got pay rise or not!!! Waaa, I told her, no pay increase, cannot cook, do minimal housework at my parents' place, toddlers go play school in morning, what kind of pay rise is she talking about!!!

anyway.. i may have to extend this maid's contract not because I like her, because my parents' don't want to adapt to another new maid! urghghhg

harriet
 
hi all,

i've been following this interesting threads for sometime. and i've learned a lot from here. stuffs like house rules, keeping money, be strict...

i have 2 maids, the 1st after finish contract lied to go back home. she was an excellent maid (in front of us), but after she left, my boy told us that he was punished by the maid for being "naught". i was so sad, dissapointed that i treated her so well! so lesson learned.

currently, my 2nd maid is the lack of initiative type. the type you "push, she move", if not, she will sit in the kitchen and stare at the ceiling whole day! very difficult to train and she's been with us for 13-month. next contract wants to go to Hong Kong. i told her you will die there!

i'm a FTWM, 8-month pregnant, no maid cannot survive, esp no in-laws and parents to help! really pray when i change maid i can find one that can really help me and not ME helping them back!
 
Harriet, think she want pay higher after renewal.. better hav new written contract with her.. make think clear.. usually,renewal maid will hav 1day off per mth n increase in salary.. can we decide or follow the agent?

Kim, u steady..FTWM yet keep ur maid that push,she move.. hav someone supervise for u? how when u deliver, she is gg to bb care? cant leave her alone w ur boy/bb at home, right? how old is ur boy?

I noticed, now maid come to work in spore..all hope to work in HK/Taiwan. Why we need to pay levy.. n not pay the maid higher,if maid get the levy that we pay plus her salary,do u think they will perform better?
 
jo
how r u coping with ur maid? any more problems? wif higher salaries, they might perform better but we will still face the same old problems like attitude problems n no initative etc.
 
hi Jo,

not i steady, but "boh pian" my boy 7-year, so current maid prepare him for school. i won't leave my newborn with maid, will be on no-pay leave till newborn is 6-month then sent to infant care.

in-law busy with business, parents helping my brother to look after his kids, so you can see everyday, i have to call home to check on my boy and maid, and rush home immediately after work. everyday, like want to vomit blood.

to make my life a little better, i get her to tell me her everyday's time-table, but at times still have mistakes. do things so slow, take her own sweet time... ah ya! maid a lot of problems, now cannot find one that devote her life to work for you!

scold also no use! at the end, show "black face" worst is my maid's sister is working in singapore for 4-year already. teach her a lot of nonsense. regretted to let her sister know my house no. keep calling until i also scolded the sister. i don't like people to call her when she's looking after my boy. many accidents can happen.
 
aiyoh, Kim, if i were you, i will long time kick her out liao lor...but i know, wont know what pattern the next one will be...change and change also dont know change until when??! Now, i am into my 6th maid. My 1st maid came when i started to know i am expecting my 2nd child. Now my baby is 8 mths old, and just more or less settle with my 6th maid. But i also dont know if she will want to leave soon or not
happy.gif
..

pple say just close one eye, trust the maid so that their morale will be high. But hor, i want to trust my maid also hard cos that day saw her using PEDIASURE for my baby...I just asked her whose milk she is preparing? She said, "di di" - then i asked her, "di di not drinking Pediasure woah..."..then she said, oops sorry mam'..forgot...

I just hope she wont make such mistakes anymore lor..but how to make sure? I cant be beside her every day every moment right? sigh.....
 
Dramaqueen, thks for concern..

my hubby also sian hear from me abt maid.. n he immediately say change till u like.. I asked if he can maidless.. he told me he is not the right position to answer cos I'm responsible to decide, as I will be the one that do hse chores n bb/child care(handle 3monkeys alone).. so I asked myself wat I really want,stay home or work..

My maid used to tell me(compare) about her previous employment, indo can hav many maid(cos she only like hse work), her fren get higher pay $400 only do hse chores..

Since she like to compare.. I change the way instead of counselling(telling why she is here/why I need helper,rewards when perform well), I compare her with my previous maid, I told her my best maid can do this,can do that,exp 6yrs in jakarta w 3employer 2yrs each, all bb exp.. very gd in hse work,very gd in bb care, independant, cook very nice food.. n salary only $260.. guest what..her eyes ball drop out.. n she start to said she also can cook this/can cook that but indo fd.. like kiasu(think she like to compare n dont want to loose).. I also tell her why I send the 2nd n 3rd maid away.. careless mistake,beat my girl,cant work...bla bla.. think she start to think whether I hint her.. today she did what I told her(been telling her for 3weeks but didnt do till today).. so can see she is trying to improve but she is not that flexible/smart in bb care.. hope to see she change for better.. pray when she contact her sister which is working here n contract end next Jan, teach her be good maid n no nonsense. God bless. Pray she can finish her contract(she already told me she is here to hav exp before gg HK/Taiwan n not gg to work more than 2yrs), always improve for better.. n I dont mind rewards her $.

Kim, my boy also 7yrs old. At least ur boy can help/spy her. Luckly, I told her, she is not allow to giv anyone my hse phone no. I dont want any call at night,children sleep early.. cos actually she want to ask her sis to call my hse, so can chat longer n her sis is old bird liao.

Eileen, think maid r careless or work but dont know wat they r doing(do blindly).. cos sometimes my maid also dont know wat she is doing..
 
hi ladies n mummies...

i've also been reading this thread since decided to get a maid,
and am really thankful for all e experiences and information that you've all shared here...

i'm a mummy to a 10.5mths old boy, n 7.5mths preggy with #2..
my mum takes care of #1 at my hse in e day n goes home at nite,
me n hb will take care at nite...
but in view of #2 arriving soon, i've brought in my filipino maid 2 weeks ago.


honestly, i always hated e idea of having a maid in e house, as i have "trust" issues..
plus dont like a stranger in e house...
so with lots of reference, i've selected a fresh maid with a 3yr old child (back home)
n i also set alot of "very strict rules" to her, went thru n made her sign on e rules n regulations....


hopefully i'm not going to "eat my words", but so far, she's been really good..
n i juz wanted to share that (hopefully) there r still good maids here..
her work now is mainly housework,
but we set her work expectations very clear that she'll be taking care of #1 in e near future (once he's accepted her) in addition to e housework,
so tat my mum will be able to concentrate on taking care of #2.
so far, she's been very obedient, does e entire list of housework i've set for her duely and quickly...
save water n electricity by cleaning everything e way my mum teaches her....
(sometimes to e extent i'm abit worried she never rinse away e detergent properly..
kao_sticktongue.gif


she already completed all e tasks within 1 week (even those i indicated once a fortnight, month tat kinda chores..)
she's also quite good at playing with my son, n i'm reli thankful tat my son likes her.
she can feed my son food n milk too...


we provide telephone card for her to call home once a week, 10-15mins each call..
both weeks when she call, she hang up well within e 10min range.
bought her 10 stamps to send letters home with per month, so far she only sent 1 letter...
we allocated some "special treats" like potato chips, ice cream, chocolates, to her.. n she eats whatever we are eating for mealtimes... and she's "stretching" out her ration of these "treats", n doesnt eat alot of food either...
we also allow her to eat e 2 fruits a day... but she also dont "bear" to eat so many.. n only eat 2-3 each week...
we treat her with due respect, e.g. use "please" and "thank you" when asking her to do work...
when she sleep, i allow her to "close" the door till left a small gap...


what im really happy about her is that she takes initiative...
she will keep asking my mum or me, if we have anymore chores for her to do, cos she does end up being quite free (especially in e afternoons and on weekends) as she completes e housework on weekdays...

then she notices in e mornings sometimes my son wakes up very early, so she offered to carry my son out from e room in e mornings so that i can sleep later...

recently my son also keep crying n waking many many times in e middle of e nite..
so when my hb is working thru' out e nite, she came to me and told me, if my son wakes up in e middle of e night, juz call her, she will come over n help take care...

my problem is, although i would love for her to help me take care of my son so i can get enough rest..
i still cannot "trust" her enough to allow her to do that...
(like e.g. although she feeds my son well, i cannot trust her to prepare his food/milk, either me or my mum will still do it, n make sure e temperature is alright, before passing to her to feed)...
im still quite paranoid tat she may very well be "putting on a good show" for e past 2 weeks...
it seems that after reading (not just from here, but from newspapers) and listening to lots of horror stories from other people..
its making it harder for me to trust her...
shd i change my mentality, or should i continue to b on my guard???

i hope u all wont throw stones at me hor...
kao_smile.gif
 
hi starz,

good to know that you maid has great iniative. just to share, don't throw stones at me ok? my current maid was like what you have described too and she's still as good as when she just arrived accept now 18 mths down the road, my maid is looking for opportunities to increase her pay and expect her 'voice' to be heard and taken into consideration when sometimes we are still not prepared to do so.

but I realised also that when too much trust is place on the maid, they may get 'big headed' and slack, maintaining an employer-employee relationship may be a better way to go.

just be on your guard to be on the safe side, it may still be too early to tell.

all the best
happy.gif


harriet
 
starz *waves*

Good to know that your new maid is more of help than trouble. I think you've done well as an employer also, treating her with respect and rewarding when it's due.

You and your maid are just like me and mine. The only difference is that yours becomes so proficient just within 2 weeks while mine took quite a while.
I also prefer to do somethings myself eg prepare their food or carry the kids while i'm out.
Another reason why i'm doing that is that i want the kids to know who their mommy is. My boy knows that mommy is the decision-maker while jie jie is just a helper. But i've also let the maid handle all these at times so that if i really need help, i can rely on her. i'm slowly letting her handle everything cos i'm gg back to work.

But just like what harriet says, just continue to be on your guard. you're lucky to have your mom watch over her during the day.
It's good to draw the line as employer so that she can continue to be on her toes.
 
starz,
It's great that you get a good maid. But remember that her attitude may change over time. You need to always be very strict with her, do not treat her too well, and do not let her think that you cannot do without her.

Actually all my maids(I have changed 8 maids) have always made my baby's milk, my mother or me will check the temperature before giving to the baby. I spot check the maid sometimes to make sure that she is following the instructions exactly. The maids also bathe both my babies every day, under my mother's supervision. I don't see any problem, both my kids grow up fine.

I also think that my current maid is a very good maid. But if your maid or my maid work in other households, other employers may not think that they are good enough. Everyone's perspective is different. But what's most important is that you are happy with her.
 


hi mummies..

thanky thanky... i will definitely take note of ur advises, not to be toooo close to her, or to let her think we can't do without her...
well.. in e "rules n regulations" we've made her sign, its already made in black n white that we'll not be giving her pay-rise, handphone, offdays, salary advance etc.... but we did promise her a "bonus" if she completes her contract n performing up to expectations... i've done daily review with her on her 1st week.. n nowadays, just a "weekly review".. i take note of all e instances that she had forgotten to do things n remind her that she have to remember...


i stil dont hv e confidence in letting her bathe or do e nightly wipe down for my boy yet, cos my boy now very strong.. n he tends to "struggle" sometimes when he's not happy... im very afraid that she'll drop him, cos she's not used to his "strength" yet... or else im afraid she'll hold on to him tooo tightly n cause more "blue-black" on my boy.. then i'll get more paranoid n think she's abusing my boy... i think i need to sort out my own "trust issues" first....

<font color="ff6000">bbgrace</font>
*wave back*.. hehehehe... i agree with u too.. part of e reason why i hold back letting e maid take "full care" of A is bcos I dont wan him to b too close to e maid or think e maid is better than mummy too.... n yes, without my mum watching e maid thru' out e day, there's no way i'll ever hire 1...
 
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