Advise on Baby & Maid Exps

Hi mummies, Tam, Starz.. can I know the age of ur good maid?

My this maid hav pro n con.. maybe my expectation is too high
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I'm hoping for an independant helper.. when she 1st came(new).. I will called her.. u can take ur lunch/dinner..but till now(3weeks),still hav to?..or she will ask me if she can eat?I know its good when she ask me, but.. I realise, when she ask me sound like she is not happy.. (this is wat i think,even she is not saying this way.. I'm so busy,cant u help me so that I can take my meal).. as she cant organise her work..for example, I giv her timetable to take her bfast after she wake up before starting work,but she prefer to eat after 9am..which she will be busy with washing/ bb care(so expect me to help her).. I told her she can take her 3meals, when the children eat liao.. n dont hav to wait for me to call her to eat/ ask my permission.. when we bb/child care,we will make sure the kids eat 1st n settle them(eg.let them play or put to sleeep)then we hav time to eat..

For changing bb diaper, do u wear back the used diaper after bathing the bb? the reason she said the diaper not really wet.. haiz.. my bb bath at 7am(change diaper) and I ask her to change again at 12noon, next change 6pm bath n 12midnight after feeding(unless bb motion,change anytime after motion). But just now, I saw her want to change bb diaper(3pm)..n find out that..she actually didnt follow my instruction.. she didnt change at noon, n wait till very wet only change, I ask, then bath at 6pm change again.. she said no, use back if not so wet.. I really dont know what to say liao.. just wondering if I'm the one that not normal??..

We went to supermarket, I feel like I'm the maid.. ya she carried my bb in sling, n just follow me.. like robot.. when I pay $ at counter.. she walked outside n wait at the exit.. I busy like siao..(even my boy help me,hold her sis hand)I take things place at counter,pay $,put thing in trolley, push trolley home.. She only carried bb out,walk there n walk home..
I dont know, maybe previously, my maid will help me choose fruits/veg together if she know I want to buy, make it more fast n I can feel she participate doing the marketing together. Ex-maid also carried my girl, help to push trolley/pack things in after I paid.
Am I asking for too high standard or I have been pamper by my previous maid(ex-maid will try to do anything herself without my help). Is this normal or I expect too much. That's why I cant go to work n leave her w bb alone.

I'm confused.. sometimes she make me feel that I can tahan her/want to continue her(cos hav gd point), sometimes make me no words to say..vomit blood.. keep on telling myself no ppl r perfect, at least she is better than previous 2 but not my standard/not what I want..
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same time afraid get the next,turn out worst than her.. wonder if I can get someone at least like my previous so gd at bb/child care, yet independant.. so long I can work n travel(company trip).. or I should stay home till my bb older(now 6mths)..when she can talk.
 


Jo...how come your baby diaper can last from 7am till 12noon still not wet, and only need to be changed at 3pm ? I prefer to change to a fresh diaper after each bath. Bath time can be adjusted, need not be so specific. If the diaper is wet at 11am, than bathe at 11am and change into fresh one lor. Hey, my boy also 7 this year (7 in Dec to be exact).

Just now I really feel like giving the maid a good slap. After spending 3 hours vacuuming the house, I saw she left a plastic sheet (which we place under the fan) full of dirt on the floor. She has moved the fan, and left ths sheet there. Really can not comprehend her mentality. She was vacuumming the floor and yet she can leave the dirt there for cleaning later ? There was once, after she vacuumed, steamed, and then immediately she took the broom to sweep, and then mopped the floor! Really can not tahan, like the vacuuming part for show only, since you want me to do so I do. She has been with me for almost 4 months, and yet still do not know how to make milk for the children. The 2 of them drink different milk, she also can not tell which is which.

Babygrace, was it you who also hire a myanmar maid ? Which city is she from ? How old is she, and her qualification ? Mine is from "Chin", 28 years old, and has high school qualification. The agent said equivalent to our Sec1/2 level. Which agent did you get your maid from ? I have chosen a new one who has a degree. Hopefully things will improve.
 
Suzie, my maid not flexible..like robot.. I also change my bb diaper everytime after bath(same if she wet/motion near to bath time,will bath her, doesnt follow the actual time,7am/6pm just a guideline).. so easy for her to remember, I told her that way.. but she do her way
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I also wonder why last that long..unless bb not drink enough milk..cos less urine.. really hard to find someone that can do bb care..

Dont know bb care yet want to do her way, like my bb is white mouse.. need to help/monitor her on bb care..
 
Jo,
I think your maid is the type that needs to be told everything. If you want her to help at the checkout to pack trolley or take care of the other kids you have to tell her in advance. If you want her to help choose fruit you have to tell her to that too. It's quite obvious she has no initiative and she's as thick as a brick.

With regard to diaper changing, I will not reuse a diaper once it's off, even if it is not very wet. Once it is exposed to air the bacteria will breed very quickly. That is why it is not advisable to leave a baby in a soiled diaper for too long.....not counting night time as there's no point waking up baby to change diaper if he's sleeping through the night.

If your maid is leaving the diaper on your baby until it is totally full and heavy she is NOT doing it to save you diapers (since she doesn't save you water or electricity), she's doing it because she is too LAZY to change it (the diaper).

Honestly Jo, I would have got rid of her weeks ago already.

All the best
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Jo,
My maid is 38 years old. She is attentive and alert, quite often she will even remind me of things I forgot. I can be quite blur at times. The best thing is she doesn't mind taking care of both my father and the kids.

You are not asking too high a standard. Did you ask your maid why she doesn't follow instruction ? Tell her you say change means change, cannot argue. Did your maid forget ? I wrote down all instructions on paper and paste near the place where she worked, so the maid has no reason to forget.

I think I am quite fierce, although I don't scold the maid, my tone will let the maid know that there is no way she can argue about it.

One of my ex-maid keep making the same mistake, I reminded her how many times she made the mistake, and told her I would not tolerate more mistakes from her.

I agree with Liana, if you have given her chances and she still didn't improve, you should send her away. It's difficult to find a good maid, but we just have to keep trying.

suzie,
Have you tried writing down the exact instructions to make milk ? I also got 2 different types of milk powder for 2 kids. I pasted the instructions right at the place where the maid makes milk. All my maids, including one who has no experience at all, learn to make milk after I showed them once.
 
Jo
How come your previous maid so ungrateful? Did she have some misunderstandings with some neighbours? If you treated her so well, she will prob love to come back to you leh. Maybe she go another household then realised wat a big mistake she made.

If bb diaper totally dry, I will reuse, but if a little wet, I will change liao. Cos bacteria breeds, we wont wan bb to have some UTI.

Things you can't tahan abt your maid, tell her, and ask her to change. no point ren ren ren. If you wan her to help you with supermkting, tell her! My hb told my maid to open her eyes, see if I need help, not just do her own things. So, actually, if you dun tell her wat you wan her to do, it is oso your fault! Initiative doesn't come easy. If they so smart, they not maids liao!

Harriet
Wah, dare to ask for pay rise ah!! Maybe some other maids gave her tat idea. I have a fren whose maid brings her girl over to her mom's place in the day, and the maid will clean her mom's house in the day, own house at night and weekends. They give her $20 more. I guess the maid can oso complain tat she is doing 2 households. But I guess you already told her, she is doing only some simple housework only, so no need to pay her more lor.

Kim
You know maids are paid v well in HK? I heard S$600. And if they every get preg there, the employer have to look after them tat 9 months and still pay her for maternity leave, something like tat. Tats why my fren who has 2 kids there refuse to get a maid!!

Starz
You v good to your maid leh! Like a good fren at home. Well, 2 weeks v hard to gauge a maid good or not. UNless you really those close 2 eyes kind and not im chim.
 
Suzie,
My myanmar maid is from Yangon, the capital city so not as country bumpkin but still backward lah. She 26 this year and is a degree holder.
My agent is Team 3 Elderly Care. They specialise more in providing nurse / maids for nursing homes.

Jo,
I feel that you should tell her what to do when she's out with you. Some maids are more timid and they unsure of what to do.
Just like my maid, she knows that i prefer to take the lead so she will just quietly follow me and wait for instructions from me. I personally prefer to choose the items myself in the supermarket. I know it can be quite frustrating when you expect help but yet the maid has no initiative.
My maid hardly follows me to the supermarket. The 1st time she did, hubby was handling the 2 kids in the trolley while i walked ahead to choose all the items. Maid chose to follow close to me instead which got me quite frustrated that i told her i don't need her to supervise my shopping, can't she stay with sir to see if he needs help with the 2 kids?
But thinking back, she was probably unsure of what she had to do so she chose to follow me instead thinking that i may need her help with the marketing.
Sometimes we just have to give instructions for everything cos different people have different preference.
 
Mummies,

Can I have some opinion??

My current maid (has 6 years exp in SIN who claim has exp in child care) didn't know that diaper pants cannot be wash.

Last night after coming back, I asked the maid to clean and change my girl. She told me the diaper pants is not wet, can she let my girl wear agn, I said ok. But my girl refused to wear it back. So I told the maid to let her wear the next time.

The maid thought that the diaper pants can be wash so she throw into the pail and soak together with the baby clothes which need to be handwash this morning.

Then this morning come and tell me the diaper pants cannot be use again because its wet. Then she told me I soak it. I was like HUH?? I soaked the diaper pants??? She said because I said can use again n she thought can wash so she soak together with the dirty clothes thinking this morning can wash.

So I ask her whether she has exp with childcare in SIN. She said yes. Then I ask her if yes how come she can soak the diaper pants to wash?? She told me her ex-employer kid wear difference type. What is this????


Any comment on this???? My mum thinks that this maid dun have childcare in SIN before. My mum said perhaps take care of elderly. Otherwise how come this simple logic oso cannot understand? My mum said from the way she make milk and handle the kids can see that she dun have much childcare experience.

I really felt I overpaid this helper if this is the case.

Mummies, will you pay a maid @ $370/mth and yet her child minding is so so?? I expect her to be well verse in this area but I am wrong.

Perhaps I should find another replacement after 60 days of usage? Because she is my replacement maid and the contract with crisxx state have to use 60 days before employer can ask for transfer. Any advise??
 
babycutie, maybe her ex-empoyer let the kids wear training pants that's why she thought the same? observe fist lah... so stressed having to change maids again and again!
 
Patsy,
Yah, I am giving my maid another month. If things still don't improve, thk I better rethink again. Because not worth paying high price and yet get peanuts....
 
Babycutie,
You mean she soaked disposable diaper "pull up pants"? Hmmm...never heard that before. I do know you can wash and recycle swim diapers...maybe she thought they were the same type?
Can you call her ex-employer? Then you can find out for sure.

Agree, you pay alot for an Indo. More than my experienced Filippino.
 
Liana,
Yes she soak the disposable pull up diaper pants.
I have training pants for my girl as well which can be washed and reused.

I believe that if a maid has 6 years exp in SIN taking care of 3-7 years old kids, she should know what is a disposable diaper pants. I believe some mummies will still let their kid wear them when they bring them out.
 
My current maid likes to carry my boy with the sarong sling while she work.

I prefer my boy not to be carried all the time and has told the maid so many times but she still likes to use sarong to carry him.

I would rather she let my boy run around the house for a while then put him back to the playpen.

But the maid will always carry him with the sarong sling and do housework like washing plates, sweeping and mopping.

My boy would want to be carry all the time in future if she "pamper" my boy with such privilege.

Any comments on this?
 
babycutie,
Since her experience is 3 - 7 years old kids, it is possible that she may not have used disposable diapers before. My boy doesn't need diapers at all since 2 year 6 months old. Since the maid hasn't used before, she may not know that it cannot be washed.

That time my mother also did not like my ex-maid carrying my boy in a sarong. I sold away the sarong.

Actually now I realized that experience is not important, most of the time you don't know whether they are telling the truth or not. My current maid never have experience with children, but she was very good with my boy who was only 2 years old when she came.
 
Tam
I also think that ex experience is not really crucial....cos can be trained if no experience, bottom line is attitude and whether they have the interest in children or not...
 
Babycutie
Well, not everyone uses diaper pants, I think prob her previous employers use normal diapers. It is oso more exp to use pull ups, so I am not surprised they din buy.

If you dun like her to use the sling, say DO NOT USE THE SLING to carry Jayden while doing housework!!! Imagine her sweat soaking thru the sarong sling, cos she doing housework. Hmmm... I feel if you strongly feel abt something, you shold voice it out. If she refuse to change, tell her the next time you see her doing it, you gg to keep the sling for good. My neighbour's maid oso slings the girl all day last time. My neighbour dun bother cos she doesnt' like to attend to kids, so if the child wants the maid, so be it.

Tamarind / Rainbow
True tat new maid can train, but for pple who are working and no one to watch over the maid, it is better to get someone experienced. Otherwise by the time you reach home, you will faint, cos for the whole day, the inexperienced maid did things her way or still as messy as b4, cos no one taught her. My maid is a transfer maid, she worked here for 2 weeks, the previous employer fired her cos she dunno how to cook, do housework or attend to the boy. Who to blame? They wan inexperienced, but no time to teach. So agent told me, if I am at home, find a maid who is inexp, at least I can "tune" to the way I wan lor. But oso depends on her attitude, wan to learn or not. And to be fair, I need to give her a few months, I can't be sacking her after 1 month or wat. it took almost 3 months b4 she could build rapport with my girl. Now I have to train her to play constructively with my girl and oso teach her simple stuffs.
 
tam/mom2nat,
Oh... so maybe I wronged her.... some family may not use diaper pants....... Actually the maid said she wanted to ask me how should she do with the diaper but I oredi went in my room (its 10pm+) so she soak together with the clothes...

BUT I thought the inside of the diaper is the same as normal diaper??? Hmmmm..... We also standby 2 diaper pants in my girl's bag to let her bring to school just in case she needs it. Most of the time it came back with 1 so the maid will top up to make it 2 for the bag each day. Doesn't the maid ponder where the other one went to? If can wash and wear again, how come need her to top up everyday??? And when the diaper pants finished, why we need to buy??? During her employment with us, she oredi informed me twice that the diaper pants are running low and we have replenish twice. So if can wash and wear again, where did all the used up diaper pants in CC went to?????

I told her a lot of time (think more than 5 times) not to carry my boy with sarong sling. If he wants, let him come out of the playpen to play for a while, then put him back again. Still, she carry him with it. I have a sarong sling, the maid oso has one. So what should I do?? Tell the maid that she can only use the sarong when I told her to???
 
tamarind,
Your maid sounds good.

Can I check does yr maid knows how to handle yr kids when she first work with you? Does she need any training? How long before she can settle with child care after joining you?

How much did you pay her initially? Now u r paying her $400 right?
 
babycutie,
You can keep both sarong sling and lock it somewhere your maid cannot access.

My current maid seems to settle with child care very fast, within a few days. We just show her and tell her what to do. She is very attentive and learn very fast.

But she was previously working in singapore for 6 years, taking care of elderly only. So she has a lot of common sense, her standard of hygiene is very high. Other maids who are fresh out of Indonesia cannot compare with her.

mom2nat,
Actually if there is no one at home to supervise, it is best not to hire a maid. I have heard cases of maids bringing back boyfriends when the parents are at work.
 
tamarind,
Although my maid has 6 years of working exp in SIN, her common senses are still limited.

She dun have the initiative to bring my girl to wash her hand and feet after bringing our girl out and come back home. She also dun have the initiative to unpack my girl's bag which we brought out. I have to tell her to do so.

Mummies who have hired maid for child care, does your maid do the above? Or you do it yourselves?
Or should I ask, what do u expect from your maid if u hire one for childcare and also some general housework? What expectation do you have from the maid for child caring?

Am I expecting too much if I need my maid to do the following INDEPENDENTLY:

1) Make sure my kids take their daily meals
(milk or normal meal such as rice/porridge)
regularly
2) Everytime when come back from outing, she
needs to bring my kids to wash up (hand and
feet)
3) She has to unpack and keep away the kids bag.


Will a maid of 6 years exp with child care be able to handle the above??

I have to tell my maid to do so because she dun have the initiative to do it. Hence, I really suspect did she really have childcare exp in Singapore.
 
Tamarind
Well, usually 80% of the time I am at home, only sometimes I have to go to work, then mil comes over. But now we try to do without mil. My maid will know tat I know neighbours ard my estate and we have security cameras ard here. Pple can identify if she bring bf here. And from my neighbour's house, she can over look into my house at some angles... so ah, got quite a lot of spies. Besides bf, stealing, there could be lots more rubbish they can come up with.

If a maid wants to turn bad, how you control oso no use. V easy, got bf, steal or things I can't tolerate, then go home. Oso, I get a maid to look after my kids, I can't be getting another person to babysit my maid! Like my sil hor, when she or her mil not free, she will get her mom to stay at home with her maid!!! And she dun allow her hb to be alone with the maid! Ay, this is more like making your own life difficult!

Babycutie
Ay, tell her she is not allowed to use. PULL STOP. My maid used to put vaseline on her hair, I told her I dun like, stop using, cos v oily, she stopped. If your maid dun listen to your instructions, you can always say " Ay, I tell you not to use, you are still using it, are you trying to defy my instructions? Who is the boss here? Need me to take it and put it with the agent?"

After you tell your maid to do certain tasks a few times, she still needs to be reminded? tell her these are standard procedures, if she needs you to remind, she will have to pay you $1 each time you remind her! She sure rem, otherwise ask her to write down lor.
 
Babycutie...you are overly concerned that what you are getting is not what you expected of experienced maid. From what you have described so far, I thought your maid sound OK, except for some requirements, maybe she is still new to your house rule. The diaper part maybe she is ignorant, or maybe her past experience was really made up. I feel what matters most is if she is trainable. First mistake I can take it as ignorance, but if you still make the same mistake after repeated reminder, then I will get real angry. For those things that you listed, has there been any improvements ? Or is she the type you push I move kind ? My maid also never check the children bag. Once I found water bottles in the bag with water that was a week old! But after I scolded her, she now very "gan cheong" to take over their bags when they return from outings.

Babygrace, thanks for the info. At least I have some hope for the new maid, who is also a degree holder. A lot of the times, I find my current maid not being able to understand why certain things are done in certain way, or in certain order. She merely take instructions (like machine)...so it is really "pek chek" to see her carrying out your instructions, but without due considerations for the circumstances. For instance just now my 2 kids were taking their afternoon nap in my room. And of all times, she chose to clean the window during that time, so she went into my room, and draw up my curtains to clean the windows ???!!! (I have to add that my room is west facing).

Tamarind...yes I did tell her specifically how to make milk. Not once, but at least 3 times. Sometimes she did it correctly, other times she choose to do otherwise.

Mummies, no matter what, I will never trust a maid to look after my children alone. I always have my in-laws to come over, or I send all to my in-laws. I am lucky to have this option available.
 
suzie,
Initially my maid also didn't give much thought to why things are done certain ways. It could be either she's inexperienced (she didn't need to do housework at home) or simply their lives back home are a lot simpler and hence expectations are much lower. eg. i taught her how to cook rice using the microwave for 3 persons and when i subsequently told her to cook for 2 cos hubby not coming back to eat, she got stumped. I got to test her maths after that then she realised how to apportion the rice, water and the timing accordingly. Thereafter she wrote out the proportions for different no. of persons and stuck it on the fridge for quick reference which i thought is a good idea.

I kept stressing to her that everything that she does, she has to understand and think through why they are done this way. Kept telling her that she being a graduate, i would expect her to be able to work smart. Otherwise i would just save my money and employ an indon maid within pri school education (i think that scared her). Told her that that will do her good and she can apply the same thinking skills to what ever job she does in the future. She really tries after that lah but still got lapses cos afterall she's a really simple girl. That's the trade-off i got to live with for having a less scheming maid.
 
suzie,
I ever told her before that she has to keep away the kids bag. But yesterday she didn't do it. So I have to tell her again. So its a 2nd reminder. I thought she has working exp in SIN before so more or less should know the employer's requirement here.

As for diaper thing, I thk it is common sense. My previous maid who only had working exp in Jakarta knows what is a diaper pants. She took care of 2 kids age 2 & 4 in Jakarta. I was surprise when my current maid with 6 years exp here do not know.

So today I emphasize to her again. In future, whenever the kids come back from outside, she must bring them to wash their hands and feet. If she knows that we are bringing the kids out, she must be alert and prepare their water bottle and packed their bag. When they return home, she must unpack and keep away their bags.

She must keep track of their meal time and prepare their meals to feed them without reminding.

Admit that she dunno a task instead of keep insisting that she knows. We are willing to teach if she admits she dunno. Otherwise, when she do wrongly (since she claim she knows), ah ma will scold her because she has did it wrongly.

A lot of time when we ask her whether she knows how to do certain thing, she always say she know and when we tell her the way to do it, she will reply in mandarin "dui, dui". Ended up all talk cock. Mouth say dui dui, but never do it. For eg, my mum told the maid that every morning she has to cook porridge for my boy. She has to take out the pork from the fridge to defrost, then wash rice to cook. She will answer, dui dui.... but for a few mornings she didn't do it at all... my mum has to do it.... So my mum is very angry ans scolded her.... say she only know how to reply correct correct.... but in action she never do it...

Now can see she is trying..... I hope she will improve

Because I told her that I am paying her to take care of the kids and some general housework..... Her biodata state she has childcare exp and I expect her to take initiative in child care, if I find her not doing a good job, I will send her back home (actually only scaring her).

Then can see she buck up and trying to improve....

Tell u another incident... My hb put his dirty exercise clothes into the washing machine (quite late around 11pm)so that the maid can mix with the normal clothes to wash the next morning. Guess what the maid do? She tot they were machine washed so use a pail to contain them. The clothes are pretty wet and water is dripping. She then hang them out to dry with dripping water. My mum woke up and saw it so ask the maid how come she hang out dripping water clothes to dry. She told my mum because she saw the clothes in the pail so tot it was washed so put it out to hang.... my hb heard the commotion so come out to see what happen... my mum ask my hb is it he put the clothes in the pail? my hb said he put it inside the washing machine not the pail... that means the maid took the clothes out from the machine and put in the pail lah... but why did she say she saw the clothes in the pail??? shouldn't she say she saw them in the washing machine??? This is one issue, another issue is my mum ask her why did she hang out dripping clothes? Didn't she know neighbours from downstair will complain if we wet their clothes they hang out? Then oso ask the maid din she notice everytime after my hb handwash his sportwear, he will put in the bathroom to drip dry before hanging out to dry??? And not hang out to dry with water dripping??? Haiz... exp maid also behave this way..... Maybe her ex-employer stay in bungalow or landed property so dun bother abt this water dripping thingy....

She left singapore 7 years ago and make a comeback again.... maybe she rest too long and forget the lifestyle here....

I will give her time to improve.... hopefully she will buck up....... She is with us for 3 weeks, I will set a 3 mth probabtion period for her.... In the meantime, watever I find she din do correctly, I will tell her on the spot. I will spot check her work every few weeks.
 
Babycutie, maybe you're expecting too much of your maid?? She's been with you for a few months only right? May take sometime for her to remember everything. Even with my maid, who is relatively consciencious, everytime we come back home, I will always tell her, wash Sabie's hands, etc and will tell her to unpack the bag we took out with us. Most maids are cart horses, you spank then they move, the truly proactive maids are almost impossible to find now! RE: carrying your son while working... maybe she thinks it's safer for her to carry the boy so she can keep an eye out on him all the time... and maybe she's worried he may fall/hurt himself. But i do agree with Mon2Nat bout her perspiring and carrying your boy, so unsanitary! Ask her why she is doing it and tell her you don't like it.. end of story!
 
babycutie,
Now that you mention that your maid left SG 7 yrs ago, i think this could possibly explain why she doesn't disposable know pull-up diaper pants.
My niece is 10 this year and i remember some 7 yrs back when she was 3 yrs old, diaper pants were not as common and even though they were available, they were quite pricey. She was also toilet-trained by then, so no need for disposable diapers.
 
hi eileen,

i also want to change her, but find no time to train the new maid. so tahan, after confinement, see can change. again change don't know can get a good maid or not, so risk there! at least the current one knows the housechores and simple cooking.

hi mon2nat,
every maid wants to go HK, Taiwan due to high pay. but not every maid can survive there. they have to be very independent. my mil phil maid for 18-year went to HK and after 3-month sent back, as she has to do EVERYTHING by herself. came back begging my mil to take her back. sorry, too late! and at that time, my mil is paying her close to S$800!!!
 
Hubby and I blasted my maid on Sat. She is always telling us she is full and taking little for dinner. So on Sat, mum told me she gave her rice and 3 chicken wings for lunch the day before. Of course, before I leave I must make sure they are in the fridge before I go out so that she would have something for lunch. I search high and low but couldn find it. So I asked her. She said she ate them ALL before she slept! Then I asked her what she had for dinner, she said a packet of rice with 2 chicken wings, That means in a span of 2 hours she ate 2 packets of rice and 5 chicken wings. When she told me, she swallowed her saliva. I got suspicious as I thought she threw them away cos when I got home, I din see her eat and she spend the hour beofre zzz washing bottles and folding clothes. So I make use of the session to check her biscuits, milo , choco and everything. Then I told her that I knew she was stealing food when all this while she is always saying full full. I told her I installed spy camera. I am angry cos I sent her back for counselling for stealing food in Feb and she started the habit again in Marc till now. I told her to write a letter to tell her parents about what she is doing here... stealing food and telling lies. She refused and rather not send letter though she has to tell them about the remittance. Prior, I did tell her she can use $20 of her salary to buy things. She rather save the money and splurge on my stuff. Then, I told her I caught her eating pork floss at my mum's place. Striaght away, hubby went to mei zhen xiang to buy back the same bottle and deduct her salary. We told her we help her to buy and gave that bottle to her. She was shocked that it cost $10.80. I told her from now on, whatever she steals, I will help her buy. Then, she felt guilty and decided to go on a hunger strike to punish herself. She din eat the whole of Sat. I told her on Sun Morning if she still refuse to eat, she can pack bag. I dont want the trouble of her fainting. I even told her what if you tell the police I abuse you. After hearing all, these, she guai guai do her work. Haiz...
 
Patsy
Hey, I rem you from the other thread. How many months preg are you now?

Kim
Wah piang, you all were paying her so much ah?? My maid has an aunt here, who worked for 13 yrs. Yest she had her off and went out with her aunt and her aunt's fren's. She told me they are all more ederly, (40 or 50 yrs old)... I hope she gets some good working habits from them! If they can work here for so long, prob not too bad.

Babycutie
True leh, maybe like wat Babygrace said, your maid left 7 yrs ago! Prob she dunno wat is diaper pants. Anyway ah, dun expect too much common sense from them. Maybe she tot it is some new invention, works likes a diaper, but can wash once. Or maybe she tot the sch teacher does wash in sch leh? You will never know wat goes thru her mind... unless you ask her.

Ribena
Ay, if my maid like yours, I sure send her home. I dun care she steal food, coins or my things, still stealing. Furthermore you gave her a few chances already. It is probably in her nature. And going on hunger strike doesn't sound like punishing herself to me leh. Sounds more like she is angry with you and wanna prove she is not tat easy for you to scold or command.
 
hi experienced mummies with maids,
I've been reading this thread ever since i decided to get a maid this July. I finally got one in late August... this thread has been very informational and helpful in the entire process... i also managed to use the "Performance Evaluation Spreadsheet" done up by some helpful mum in this thread!
happy.gif


I have a 27-mth old toddler and another bb due in Nov... The arrangement is that on weekdays i will bring the maid and my daughter to my parent's place in the morning before i go to work... at night, will head to my parent's place for dinner before bringing the maid and my daughter home...

This is my 1st time having a maid but as i'm pretty chin-chai with housework so long as my house can be kept clean and tidy, i'm not too concerned... and of course like many of you here, I had to spent some time initially 'training' and 'educating' her on how i want things to be done... so far so good *crossing my fingers* with housework...

One concern i have is with her skills of child/baby care... so far, either myself or my husband hv tried to take care of my girl's needs as much as possible (e.g. bathing her, changing her, playing with her, sleeping with her, etc.)... however, i have told my maid that she needs to play with her / keep a watch on her if my mum is busy or if i'm busy...


There have been occasions where me and my mum agreed that she is not entirely 'into' taking care of children and am not that interested to do so... Will not bore you all with that for now...
What i am concerned currently is, what do all of you expect in terms of child caring? I have noticed the following:
1) Sometimes, when my daughter is doing naughty things (like throwing things around, etc.), if i see it, i will tell her, 'not to do it', then i will hear the maid 'echo' me and also tell my daughter 'no, don't do it'...
2) At times when my daughter do dangerous things like climbing on sofa, etc., (this sometimes happens when my maid is just sitting in front of tv doing nothing), i noticed that what the maid will do is just to tell my daughter not to do it... without making an effort to go towards my daughter and make sure she's safe
3) My maid will call/shout my daughter from where she (maid) is to go to her (maid), e.g. maid is in living room, my daughter is at the doorway between living room and kitchen

I find the above weird as to if I am a maid, will i be handling the children this way or should i be more actively taking care of children/kids?
Sometimes i just don't understand if that is the way maids should behave or is this the expectation we should have on them?

Anyone here can advise what do you expect / does your maid do when taking care of children?


Babycutie,
Just to share... i have the same habit of washing up my daughter's (hand and feet) once we come back from outing/outside...
Now i made sure my maid does it... for the 1st few times, the maid will still forget... after my review with her, i told her, i need her to rem. it and not me reminding her every time... so now, she will rem. to do it most of the time... sometimes, i will just tell my daughter, 'wash your hands and feet first before playing', (also more to hint to the maid to do the task), the maid will then proceed to help my daughter wash her hands and feet first... so i guess, it's again like many other things, to remind, reinforce what we need them to do....
 
plim,
Yes, sometimes I will also ask my girl to go and wash her hand and feet aloud to "hint" the maid.

Your above on child caring. I expect my maid to do the same thing as in telling my kids to stop and walk up to the kid to stop the action and NOT SIMPLY STAND THERE AND OPEN MOUTH WITHOUT ACTION. Do u thk the kids will listen to you??? Crazy right???

I have one ex-phil maid whom I sent back after workign 2 wks with me. She made water for my 3 yo girl to bath. After preparing everything, she call to my girl from the bathroom door saying it time for bath. Then waited in the bathroom for my girl to go in.... Can faint man... Do u thk a 3 y o will go to the bathroom themselves??? There are at their "terrible" stage.... A lot of coaxing and bluffing needed in order to get the todd to bath... Instead she waited in the bathroom for my girl to go to her.... She is VERY LOUSY at child caring so we fired her.
 
hi Mom2Nat, almost 19 weeks now... halfway there!

maids don't understand child psychology, unless they are all really child loving, and i think most of them will consider child caring a job and don't put their hearts into it... don't really feel a connection with the child
 
Patsy,
Congrats ! You know whether boy or girl already ?

babycutie,
My maid does all those 3 things without me having to tell her. Your maid does look like she has limited childcare experience, may be she mainly did housework, and the kids were taken care by SAHM or grandparents.

mom2nat,
At least with someone at home to supervise, the maid cannot do anything funny to the kids. For example, there was a case in the newspaper, where the maid held on to the legs of a 2 year old boy and shake his body violently. The whole incident was video recorded on the second maid's handphone. But the mommy didn't know about it until she sent back the second maid, who was angry with the first maid and showed the mommy the video.

The boy actually did try to tell the mommy, but he only know how to say "Jie jie naughty". The mommy thought his sisters bully him.

When the maid was asked in court, would she do the same thing to her own kids, she said no. So sickening.

There was once when my mother and I went to bangkok, I put the maid and the kids in MIL house. Better be safe than sorry.

Those operators and cleaning ladies in my company also need to have a supervisor to constantly check on their work. I believe maids are like that, cannot trust them to work independently.

plim,
My current maid does have the initiative to stop my kids from doing dangerous things. But I think we need to tell our maids exactly how we want them to handle our kids. Many maids either don't have common sense, or they are not sure what the employer expect them to do.
 
babycutie,
YES! I totally agree with u! Kids at this age 2-4 yo will deliberately do something which you ask them not to!

tamarind,
I think my maid is one who is not that keen in child minding... bcos i feel that for housework wise, things that i hv told her before, she is able to remember and at least make effort to do it, although sometimes need to remind one more time...
for child minding, i have already told her, not to sit around (especially idling) and expect that other adults (e.g. parents, grandparents) are around the child such that she dun need to care... but that doesn't seem to sink into her...
 
as many mommies mentioned here, maids are here to earn $$$. who would have devoted they soul to take care of our children. i realised maids need constant scolding and reminding them to do this and that. at times, when there's a time-table can also do wrong things.

for example, i get my maid to do stock check every fridays, so i can buy from cold storage on every saturdays. she can then tell me on monday, that no more bread for breadfast. i asked why didn't ask me to buy on saturday. REPLY: because on saturday still have 2 more slices (left the top and bottom skins). wah! on monday morning and rushing to work, this really can vomit blood. can't they just plan? back at home, they don't have to do any planning for grocery and stuffs?
 
plim,
Does your maid have children of her own ? I prefer to hire maids who are mommies, so they know how to handle very young children. One of my houserules are, the maid must watch the kids carefully, if the kids get hurt, it is her fault. I will still specifically tell my maid to watch the kids, and I will tell her that I will go sleeping or bathing so she knows I am not watching them.
 
hi Tamarind, gyne thinks it's a boy, will know after the detailed scan. And yes, I also choose maids with kids of her own, coz i think they will be a bit more compassionate, only downside is that they may miss the kids and get homesick easier

kim, most maids i know live hand to mouth, they get paid daily (if in the province or if hb is a small wage worker) and they buy from the wet market what they can afford for the day lah.. not like us we buy weekly.

ACtually, need to ask your opinions mummies, my current maid is pretty good, took very good care of Sabie, quite ok with housework, can cook, etc. but now she wants to go to Canada. I won't stop her because it's a step forward for her and her family... but my dilema is i'm due in Feb, her contract ends in Jan, do i renew her contract and hope the canadian visa dun come too soon or should i just change her? we've discussed and she said even if it comes, she can defer for 3 months.. but cannot say when it's gonna come, but what if it comes in dec, then by march she has to go? then, if i decide to change her, i don't feel comfortable about transferring her and she will leave her new employer after 3-4 months.. so i send her back? but pitiful she won't have any income for a few months.. dilema now. what do you girls think?
 
sorry double posting

Patsy i hope dat all is well for u n have a safe delivery. i just gave birth this mth. is it boy or girl?
 
hi patsy,
understand maids earn and spend on what's necessary back home. but my current maid has 3-year experience, and I paid S$320 plus S$20 for no off-day. plus the salary and levy i paid, i expect less workload when i reach home. esp., after work, i have to bring back work and tuition my boy.

for your current maid, you can re-new for a few months, then get a new maid to be train under her or you after your confinement. you still have 2 months before back to work. that's what i planned to do for my current maid, after i due in nov, and confinement ends dec., i will say bye-bye to her. will get one with exp. and have children.
 
tamarind,
my maid is not married, 23-yo only. Reason why i don't want to get a maid with kids is becos they will get homesick and create problems (my hb faced that problem b4 when his parents engaged a maid)...

my maid has prior experience working in m'sia (before her employment with me) for 2 yrs... that household also had 2 young children about my daughter's age... she was also involved in child minding of the 2 kids... hence, i cannot understand why she still dun hv initiative and basic common sense in taking care of children...

Although age or their background may play a part, but somehow or rather it depends on the maid's personality also... A friend of mine who has a maid, same age as mine, but no prior experience, is able to take care of her son and is always hving initiative to ensure her son's safety by following him everywhere... such attitude, according to my friend is bcos the maid loves kids and enjoy playing with them...

so i guess it really depends a lot on the maid's interest... but it will b difficult to get someone who can 'love' to do housework as well as 'able' to take care of children at the same time...
 
congratulations daphne!!!! gyne thinks its a boy, silly me cried leh.. coz i really wanted a girl to kinda replace Sabie. But then again, as long as he's healthy, i'm happy. Did you have a boy or a girl?

kim, i don't know if i want the hassle of caring for a newborn then looking for a maid leh.. that's why dilmea, may probably do as what daphne suggests
 


hi patsy, understand what you mean. but now for my case, no more energy to even scold the maid, where can train new maid. so, i wait after confinement, when my parents stay with me, i can REALLY teach the maid.

you ladies heard that 3 agencies? Bushra Employment Agency, CM Manpower Centre Pte Ltd and Angel Maids Agency?
 
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