I am married to my husband for 3 years and currently having one son at the age of 19months. My problem has been starting ever since when we both plan for our wedding in November 2005. We were both been dating for only one year and for this one whole year, our dating life has been very wonderful and of course i do not have any problem with his mother at all. Me and his mum can get along very well and during weekend, we sure will go shopping and chat and even out for drinks. But all this only happen when me and my husband is in the progress of dating.
My problem started when both of us is planning for our wedding. We actually announce to his parents that we plan for our wedding in year 2006. At first, I thought everything should be ok with his family since his mum like me so much (this is what i think as the past one year, she been treating me very good). But to my surprise, his mum has objected our marriage and on the day of us announce that we want to get married, his mum even say that she will not recognised me as her daughter in law.
Ever since, me and my husband has been quarell very frequently. Almost everyday due to the rejection and objection from his mum. Then we plan ahead our wedding and went for ROM due to house buying problem in March 2006. At first we do not plan to throw any wedding dinner but his mum again objected it. She want us to throw for luxury dinner which at the moment, we definitely unable to afford it. But anyhow, we still proceed as her request but during the preparation of the dinner banquet, she keep on creating more and more problem to cause both of us quarell. After sending all invitation cards and make reservation for the hotel ballroom and etc, his mum finally ask us to cancel everything as she say we never do it in proper way.... But she never even tell us what to do during our reservation process... That time, she just told me everything is perfect... End up, we cancel our dinner and we have lost all our deposit paid for the reservation.
I was pregnant then and during my pregnancy, my life was not in much better than before. Me and my husband has been quarelling from day to day and each day the quarell has become more and more drastic. Mostly our quarell topic will surely about his mum and his family.... I gave birth to my baby in June 2007, and after 1 week from my baby birth date, I realise that my husband has been cheating behind my back.
He always go out for clubbing until early in the morning after i gave birth. I was left alone at home taking care of my baby and the worst is my son keep on crying for the whole night... At that moment, I was really depressed and after my husband came home, I somehow have the instict to check on his mobile and once checked, there is photo of him and other gal that hugging each other... Again we quarell and i keep on scolding him for adultery although i do not have any strong proof for it.. That time, i really thought that i am having imagination and it was my post pregnancy depression.
Then in December 2006, we all move to my parents house as we are doing renovation for my own house. During the renovation time of one month, my husband keep on be back at home late at morning and is full with perfume. In January 2009, I received his phone bills and then I saw that there is one time he call his ex gf number for almost 10 minutes and follow by my number.. I can still remember very clearly that night he again quarell with me for nonsence matter and make excuse to say that he will not come home for that night.
When I confront him, he deny it and keep on saying that I am crazy and blah blah blah.... Again he left me alone with my son at night and almost every forthnight, he will sure be back home about 3 to 4 in the morning... After two months past, during CNY, i cant stand it anymore and we have a really big fight on that day.
On that day, he beat me up for the first time by punching and slapping me at my face. And the worst, I was carrying my baby with one hand and have to cover him by the other hand. He was drunk and I can remember very clearly that on this night, he has scolded me with lots of bad words in my life.
After cooling down and hiding myself and my son in the room for one night, we have a nice talk in the next morning. He told me that he went for drink because he cant take the preassure by his mum and he told me that because of marrying me, he have to go against his mum and his mum will not talk and care about him anymore.... During that time, i really feel regret and i trust 100% of what he have told me. He said that his mum have rejected to see him for almost half a year.
So, again we say sorry to each other and continue our life but he still hang out late at night but this time he make it once a week. After few days, i gave him a surprise and go to visit him at his working place. I saw his mum is there and they have been chit chatting very happily and doesnt have any sense of have been quarelling before... I take up initiative and ask his colleague about his mum present and then only i know that his mum has been visiting him almost everyday and they do not quarell at all...
Again, my husband has cheated me... Last two months, he told me he want to go for a drink again and this time, I ask for his location and time he will be back... I have been checking on him every hour when he is outside by calling him and when he back at home about 4am, he shouted at me saying a lot of things that hurt me mentally.. He been saying i crazy, a control freak, scold my parent as assholes, say my family should die much earliar, saying i am worst than hooker and etc (more bad things which i cant write out). At that time, i really cannot control myself and i went to the kitchen to take a knife and i tried my very best to stab him.
He manage to grab that knife from me and he began punching me again. This time from head to toe. I was push to the floor and he even use his leg to kick my stomach. I was too weak that time that was left alone on the floor until the next morning when my son came to me and wake me up.
I was shivering for the whole morning and when he have wake up and clear from all the alcohol, he told me that he is sorry and blah blah blah.... I told him that i want for a divorce as i cant accept it anymore (this is the thousand time i have said this words) and he told me that is up to me but he been treathening me with his son.
He told me that he have recorded when i take a knife to stab him, and even go for divorce, i will not have the custody of my son. He even told me that my mentally is depressed ever since i gave birth and he been spreading rumours to all my friends about my condition since June 2007. Now only i know why suddenly my friend left me one by one.... He been telling lies to them and told them that i almost kill my son when i am in mood swing... This is not true at all....
I really do not know what to do... Should I really divorce? If yes, should i fight for the custody of my son? Can I win the case? Or should i just continue by being his punch bag when he is drunk? Or just let him have night life while left me alone at home thinking nonsence? I cant take this mentally stress anymore... If I win the case, can i afford to raise my son?
HELP pls HELP... Am I really CRAZY and mentally disorder? Do i need to check with psikiatrist? All I need is a loving husband that will accompany me every night.. Is that a very hard to grant request? Is it too much for a wife and mum at home? WIll I manage to handle my life after divorce?
Anyone with similar incident can please help to advice me on this.... Thank you.
My problem started when both of us is planning for our wedding. We actually announce to his parents that we plan for our wedding in year 2006. At first, I thought everything should be ok with his family since his mum like me so much (this is what i think as the past one year, she been treating me very good). But to my surprise, his mum has objected our marriage and on the day of us announce that we want to get married, his mum even say that she will not recognised me as her daughter in law.
Ever since, me and my husband has been quarell very frequently. Almost everyday due to the rejection and objection from his mum. Then we plan ahead our wedding and went for ROM due to house buying problem in March 2006. At first we do not plan to throw any wedding dinner but his mum again objected it. She want us to throw for luxury dinner which at the moment, we definitely unable to afford it. But anyhow, we still proceed as her request but during the preparation of the dinner banquet, she keep on creating more and more problem to cause both of us quarell. After sending all invitation cards and make reservation for the hotel ballroom and etc, his mum finally ask us to cancel everything as she say we never do it in proper way.... But she never even tell us what to do during our reservation process... That time, she just told me everything is perfect... End up, we cancel our dinner and we have lost all our deposit paid for the reservation.
I was pregnant then and during my pregnancy, my life was not in much better than before. Me and my husband has been quarelling from day to day and each day the quarell has become more and more drastic. Mostly our quarell topic will surely about his mum and his family.... I gave birth to my baby in June 2007, and after 1 week from my baby birth date, I realise that my husband has been cheating behind my back.
He always go out for clubbing until early in the morning after i gave birth. I was left alone at home taking care of my baby and the worst is my son keep on crying for the whole night... At that moment, I was really depressed and after my husband came home, I somehow have the instict to check on his mobile and once checked, there is photo of him and other gal that hugging each other... Again we quarell and i keep on scolding him for adultery although i do not have any strong proof for it.. That time, i really thought that i am having imagination and it was my post pregnancy depression.
Then in December 2006, we all move to my parents house as we are doing renovation for my own house. During the renovation time of one month, my husband keep on be back at home late at morning and is full with perfume. In January 2009, I received his phone bills and then I saw that there is one time he call his ex gf number for almost 10 minutes and follow by my number.. I can still remember very clearly that night he again quarell with me for nonsence matter and make excuse to say that he will not come home for that night.
When I confront him, he deny it and keep on saying that I am crazy and blah blah blah.... Again he left me alone with my son at night and almost every forthnight, he will sure be back home about 3 to 4 in the morning... After two months past, during CNY, i cant stand it anymore and we have a really big fight on that day.
On that day, he beat me up for the first time by punching and slapping me at my face. And the worst, I was carrying my baby with one hand and have to cover him by the other hand. He was drunk and I can remember very clearly that on this night, he has scolded me with lots of bad words in my life.
After cooling down and hiding myself and my son in the room for one night, we have a nice talk in the next morning. He told me that he went for drink because he cant take the preassure by his mum and he told me that because of marrying me, he have to go against his mum and his mum will not talk and care about him anymore.... During that time, i really feel regret and i trust 100% of what he have told me. He said that his mum have rejected to see him for almost half a year.
So, again we say sorry to each other and continue our life but he still hang out late at night but this time he make it once a week. After few days, i gave him a surprise and go to visit him at his working place. I saw his mum is there and they have been chit chatting very happily and doesnt have any sense of have been quarelling before... I take up initiative and ask his colleague about his mum present and then only i know that his mum has been visiting him almost everyday and they do not quarell at all...
Again, my husband has cheated me... Last two months, he told me he want to go for a drink again and this time, I ask for his location and time he will be back... I have been checking on him every hour when he is outside by calling him and when he back at home about 4am, he shouted at me saying a lot of things that hurt me mentally.. He been saying i crazy, a control freak, scold my parent as assholes, say my family should die much earliar, saying i am worst than hooker and etc (more bad things which i cant write out). At that time, i really cannot control myself and i went to the kitchen to take a knife and i tried my very best to stab him.
He manage to grab that knife from me and he began punching me again. This time from head to toe. I was push to the floor and he even use his leg to kick my stomach. I was too weak that time that was left alone on the floor until the next morning when my son came to me and wake me up.
I was shivering for the whole morning and when he have wake up and clear from all the alcohol, he told me that he is sorry and blah blah blah.... I told him that i want for a divorce as i cant accept it anymore (this is the thousand time i have said this words) and he told me that is up to me but he been treathening me with his son.
He told me that he have recorded when i take a knife to stab him, and even go for divorce, i will not have the custody of my son. He even told me that my mentally is depressed ever since i gave birth and he been spreading rumours to all my friends about my condition since June 2007. Now only i know why suddenly my friend left me one by one.... He been telling lies to them and told them that i almost kill my son when i am in mood swing... This is not true at all....
I really do not know what to do... Should I really divorce? If yes, should i fight for the custody of my son? Can I win the case? Or should i just continue by being his punch bag when he is drunk? Or just let him have night life while left me alone at home thinking nonsence? I cant take this mentally stress anymore... If I win the case, can i afford to raise my son?
HELP pls HELP... Am I really CRAZY and mentally disorder? Do i need to check with psikiatrist? All I need is a loving husband that will accompany me every night.. Is that a very hard to grant request? Is it too much for a wife and mum at home? WIll I manage to handle my life after divorce?
Anyone with similar incident can please help to advice me on this.... Thank you.
