Thks third3timemum for the info.. My bb prince is 50.5cm, is my 1st bb...Didn't expect to be that big cuz i didn't put on much weight.. I all alone is plus size but this pregnancy made me lost weight.. Lucky bb not small size easier for me to carry as 1st t mum. I delivered naturally with epidural... Didn't latch for the 1st hr... Cuz when gynae doing stitching I feel very discomfort so no sts contact with bb..only aft I return ward then try latching. During my confinement i dont have much appetite, with sleepless nite & always perspire that I didn't pump every 3hrs. Only once at night when cooler. Hope aft confinement without those restriction, can start mooing dats why checking on fenugreek or similar supplements. Hope still in time to produce.
(2013/11) November 2013
- Thread starter carababy
- Start date
Thks third3timemum for the info.. My bb prince is 50.5cm, is my 1st bb...Didn't expect to be that big cuz i didn't put on much weight.. I all alone is plus size but this pregnancy made me lost weight.. Lucky bb not small size easier for me to carry as 1st t mum. I delivered naturally with epidural... Didn't latch for the 1st hr... Cuz when gynae doing stitching I feel very discomfort so no sts contact with bb..only aft I return ward then try latching. During my confinement i dont have much appetite, with sleepless nite & always perspire that I didn't pump every 3hrs. Only once at night when cooler. Hope aft confinement without those restriction, can start mooing dats why checking on fenugreek or similar supplements. Hope still in time to produce.
ah dale
In my opinion, no matter what must try latching to initiate & maintain the supply. Its ok if you dont pump but keep latching your baby.
Ya confinement can be really uncomfortable. I used to adhere fully to the no bath, no fan etc during my no1 and it was so miserable and I had bad eczema but now for no2 I learn. Do my best only, don't get myself too uncomfortable that i lose my sanity. Hygiene is very important especially when if you are direct feeding your boy too!
I wipe myself daily and hide myself in aircon room at 26deg w low fan setting. Am feeling more human during this second confinement now.
Jiayou ahdale!
In my opinion, no matter what must try latching to initiate & maintain the supply. Its ok if you dont pump but keep latching your baby.
Ya confinement can be really uncomfortable. I used to adhere fully to the no bath, no fan etc during my no1 and it was so miserable and I had bad eczema but now for no2 I learn. Do my best only, don't get myself too uncomfortable that i lose my sanity. Hygiene is very important especially when if you are direct feeding your boy too!
I wipe myself daily and hide myself in aircon room at 26deg w low fan setting. Am feeling more human during this second confinement now.
Jiayou ahdale!
mumztan
Member
Hello...
i feel i need to vent it out here..
Im feeling guilty for not being able to spend time with #1.. i used to pat her to bed but its getting tougher to do so after mei mei arrived. The other night, jiejie said this to me while i latch meimei.. "mommy, u feed meimei i wait for u ok?"
Meimei on the other hand latch for a long time n jiejie waited n waited.. she was so tired n i felt so bad.
Mommies with two or more kids... do u feel the same way too? How did u overcome it?
i feel i need to vent it out here..
Im feeling guilty for not being able to spend time with #1.. i used to pat her to bed but its getting tougher to do so after mei mei arrived. The other night, jiejie said this to me while i latch meimei.. "mommy, u feed meimei i wait for u ok?"
Meimei on the other hand latch for a long time n jiejie waited n waited.. she was so tired n i felt so bad.
Mommies with two or more kids... do u feel the same way too? How did u overcome it?
third3timemum
Member
Hi ah_dale, if you are not pumping, you need to latch your baby, so that you can build up your supply. The more you latch, the more milk you will produce, as demand = supply! And you need to eat well, rest well, in order to produce milk! Please drink a lot of fluid, soup, milo, red dates drink, even warm water, those of us who are 2nd or 3rd time mum are drinking water, I know for first time mums, your mum or mil may have asked you not to drink water. Once you don't latch or pump frequently, your body will think that you don't need to feed, so no need to produce some more!
bunnymummy82
Member
Mumztan,
Right now my CL is still here. So not so bad. I also have a helper to help me out. Other than pumping/latching that cannot be replaced by anyone, I'll drop whatever I'm doing when my #1 wants me. Eg I'm changing baby or carrying baby, if #1 wants me, I'll ask my helper to take care #2. Cos newborn dunno anything but I dun wan to hurt #1 feelings.
If I'm pumping, I'll ask #1 to accompany me. She will just walk here and there in front of me or watch barney. If I'm latching, my helper will carry her to look at me and I'll talk to her. I also pass her my iPad mini for her to play games first. It's not good I know, but at least she is well entertained. Some of the apps on iPad are quite educational. Btw my #1 is 2 years plus.
Right now my CL is still here. So not so bad. I also have a helper to help me out. Other than pumping/latching that cannot be replaced by anyone, I'll drop whatever I'm doing when my #1 wants me. Eg I'm changing baby or carrying baby, if #1 wants me, I'll ask my helper to take care #2. Cos newborn dunno anything but I dun wan to hurt #1 feelings.
If I'm pumping, I'll ask #1 to accompany me. She will just walk here and there in front of me or watch barney. If I'm latching, my helper will carry her to look at me and I'll talk to her. I also pass her my iPad mini for her to play games first. It's not good I know, but at least she is well entertained. Some of the apps on iPad are quite educational. Btw my #1 is 2 years plus.
mumztan
Member
hello bunnymummy
my #1 is 3.5yo and she goes to childcare on weekdays. unfortunately, i dont have a CL or helper. Hubz took 2 weeks leave to help me out then im on my own for the last 2 weeks. His returning to work on 9th and he works retail hours.. so i have to take care of #2 in the day and fetch #1 (with #2) from school then prep her dinner, shower for her, entertain her and pat her to sleep.
All these were easy peasy when i only had 1, but i realize that whenever #1 needs me, she will have to wait.. im worried that i would unknowingly neglect her. Its still alright now cause hubz is arnd.. but when he returns to work, reality will set in and im just worried she might think no one loves her...
Just a while ago, someone asked if i was happy to have #2, my reply was no.. i know its not the right ans but... i feel that #1 needs me and as a mom, im really not able to give her the attn she needs. She loves meimei and very protective towards her. Its just me...
my #1 is 3.5yo and she goes to childcare on weekdays. unfortunately, i dont have a CL or helper. Hubz took 2 weeks leave to help me out then im on my own for the last 2 weeks. His returning to work on 9th and he works retail hours.. so i have to take care of #2 in the day and fetch #1 (with #2) from school then prep her dinner, shower for her, entertain her and pat her to sleep.
All these were easy peasy when i only had 1, but i realize that whenever #1 needs me, she will have to wait.. im worried that i would unknowingly neglect her. Its still alright now cause hubz is arnd.. but when he returns to work, reality will set in and im just worried she might think no one loves her...
Just a while ago, someone asked if i was happy to have #2, my reply was no.. i know its not the right ans but... i feel that #1 needs me and as a mom, im really not able to give her the attn she needs. She loves meimei and very protective towards her. Its just me...
mumztan
Member
Thanks!
Thks czlyf & Third3time mum for yr advice... My confinement ending in a week time, full mth celebration is next sun now i will try to latch bb instead of pumping.. My overall liquid intake only from daily soup... & red date drink.. No much.. Will try drink more milo & warm water... Must jiayou! To Jia nai!
Hi mumztanhello bunnymummy
my #1 is 3.5yo and she goes to childcare on weekdays. unfortunately, i dont have a CL or helper. Hubz took 2 weeks leave to help me out then im on my own for the last 2 weeks. His returning to work on 9th and he works retail hours.. so i have to take care of #2 in the day and fetch #1 (with #2) from school then prep her dinner, shower for her, entertain her and pat her to sleep.
All these were easy peasy when i only had 1, but i realize that whenever #1 needs me, she will have to wait.. im worried that i would unknowingly neglect her. Its still alright now cause hubz is arnd.. but when he returns to work, reality will set in and im just worried she might think no one loves her...
Just a while ago, someone asked if i was happy to have #2, my reply was no.. i know its not the right ans but... i feel that #1 needs me and as a mom, im really not able to give her the attn she needs. She loves meimei and very protective towards her. Its just me...
I just had no2 too. Since pregnancy my mom has been telling 2 is enough, dun think abt 3. It's better to spend e time n effort to educate n bring up two. If more, I n hubby may likely neglect some of them. I was doubtful then. But w no2 out n me in cfnmt. I noticed my no1 is now specifically asking for daddy. Ytd aft his nap both me n dad were walking towards him w me in front, my son just walked around me to reach out for his dad. Was heartbroken. Dad said coz I neglected him since pregnant w no2. Am feeling super guilty.
I wonder how to balance our love n attention on all our kids. Is it possible to make sure none of our kids feel neglected ?
mumztan
Member
czlyf,
#1 still wants me to pat her to slp and sometimes she will want me to acc her to watch tv.. but most of the times i have to reject her because i need to attend to #2... everyday i would ask her if she was angry with me for anything i might have done wrong too..
I kept telling myself that #2 will grow up fast and play with #1 so she wont feel so down. Prob another 9mths? But for these 9 mths, would i have changed #1 mentality because of the lack of attn?
I feel so confused...
#1 still wants me to pat her to slp and sometimes she will want me to acc her to watch tv.. but most of the times i have to reject her because i need to attend to #2... everyday i would ask her if she was angry with me for anything i might have done wrong too..
I kept telling myself that #2 will grow up fast and play with #1 so she wont feel so down. Prob another 9mths? But for these 9 mths, would i have changed #1 mentality because of the lack of attn?
I feel so confused...
totorodino
Active Member
Hi mumztan, ever since i was pregnant with #2, i felt an immense guilt towards #1, as i didnt exactly planned to have #2 so fast. My #1 is 32 mths old n i used to think that i do not know how to love #2 as i had already given #1 all my love. After #2 was born, i grew to love her n was surprised that love can actually be multiplied! However, i still feel guilty towards #1. He will want me to accompany him to watch tv, play toys n put him to bed. Many times i have to tell him to wait because i have no helper n i have to either wash the bottles, clean up after dinner or attend to meimei. I feel really gad to keep telling him to wait. Worst of all, sometimes i lose my patience with him when its not really his fault. Sometimes breastfeeding drives me nuts too as i have to tell #1 to wait while i pump milk first before putting him to bed. Like just now, we went out for a few hrs n i really needed to pump but no1 really needed to nap too. Sigh. Sometimes i wonder if having a helper will help but most of the mommy things cannot b done by helper..... I guess we will have to b less harsh on ourselves n just do our best.
Febie, u can feel the cut n stitches cos u were not on epi mah.... But bluenosebear was on epi n she could feel her c section! Really scary.
Lilprince, maybe dr tham has got too many patients delivering on the same day hence delayed in attending to u. Poor u, must b really painful to adjust the needle each time. I will freak out. Was it the nurses that set the needle in the first place? Both of my deliveries n my last fever hospitalisation, the drip needle was set by the anethestists or a doctor on duty, so it was just one poke n was settled.
Febie, u can feel the cut n stitches cos u were not on epi mah.... But bluenosebear was on epi n she could feel her c section! Really scary.
Lilprince, maybe dr tham has got too many patients delivering on the same day hence delayed in attending to u. Poor u, must b really painful to adjust the needle each time. I will freak out. Was it the nurses that set the needle in the first place? Both of my deliveries n my last fever hospitalisation, the drip needle was set by the anethestists or a doctor on duty, so it was just one poke n was settled.
mumztan
Member
totorodino, yeah, i agree.. we just need to try our best. sometimes, i tell myself not to doubt on the wonders mothers can do.. i took care of #1 single handed and managed to bf her, latched on fully for a year.. we didnt want a #2 actually, but #1 asked for it and i hope she has someone to lean on when she grows up.. i dont want her to be alone..
after i got #2, i spend a lot of time with her even thou it was very tiring for me..
delivery at tmc was a terror... i was left with a room mate who turns the a/c to 30 degrees every night. I wasnt able to get down the bed because of the drips until a nurse came over and touched me.. she was shock that i was soaking in perspiration. The moment the nurse left after adjusting the a/c back, the room mate turned it back to 30 degrees. I tahan lor.. but next morning, when her whole fam came, she turned up the tv machiam cinema.. nurse had to come in and tell her off. One kind nurse offered to change room for me which i gladly accept.
So all in all, i only managed to rest for 1 night before i was discharged. Milk supply didnt really kick in until day 4, so#2 was asking for milk hourly on her first night at home.. my nipples was sore n bleeding... plus all the guilt i have for #1, i felt so bad...
i kept encouraging myself that im certainly not alone and things will get better when #2 grows up. I cant wait to see the sisters playing together.. I guess i just have to endure for now.
after i got #2, i spend a lot of time with her even thou it was very tiring for me..
delivery at tmc was a terror... i was left with a room mate who turns the a/c to 30 degrees every night. I wasnt able to get down the bed because of the drips until a nurse came over and touched me.. she was shock that i was soaking in perspiration. The moment the nurse left after adjusting the a/c back, the room mate turned it back to 30 degrees. I tahan lor.. but next morning, when her whole fam came, she turned up the tv machiam cinema.. nurse had to come in and tell her off. One kind nurse offered to change room for me which i gladly accept.
So all in all, i only managed to rest for 1 night before i was discharged. Milk supply didnt really kick in until day 4, so#2 was asking for milk hourly on her first night at home.. my nipples was sore n bleeding... plus all the guilt i have for #1, i felt so bad...
i kept encouraging myself that im certainly not alone and things will get better when #2 grows up. I cant wait to see the sisters playing together..
I guess i just have to endure for now.Hi Mumztan and Toto
Seems like your no1 are sensible kids. My no1 seems spoilt to me. He has been behaving really naugthy recent days. Throwing tantrum, spitting out water after drinking, messing up things deliberately. I was left with no1 and no2 this afternoon together with my CL since my husband has to attend a friend's kid's first month. It was terrible! I am feeling so angry and fed up with my no1 gimmicks. When no2 cried for milk and no1 became cranky coz he needs sleep and yet doesn't want to sleep I was at iit's end. I felt like whacking my no1!!! At these times, I will have an alarm at the back of my head and wonder if I'm really meant to be a mom.
Furthermore, I was almost begging my husband to allow me to be a stay home mom after no2. I wonder if I can really do it.
Seems like your no1 are sensible kids. My no1 seems spoilt to me. He has been behaving really naugthy recent days. Throwing tantrum, spitting out water after drinking, messing up things deliberately. I was left with no1 and no2 this afternoon together with my CL since my husband has to attend a friend's kid's first month. It was terrible! I am feeling so angry and fed up with my no1 gimmicks. When no2 cried for milk and no1 became cranky coz he needs sleep and yet doesn't want to sleep I was at iit's end. I felt like whacking my no1!!! At these times, I will have an alarm at the back of my head and wonder if I'm really meant to be a mom.
Furthermore, I was almost begging my husband to allow me to be a stay home mom after no2. I wonder if I can really do it.
After reading the few mommies' posts, I feel I am not alone, have issue with no #1.
I feel the same guilt towards her, also wonder if having #2 is a rite choice but hope #1 has a companion n less spoilt.
Hubby has lost touch on bb care and #1 can terribly misbehave, we will shout, whack her when she make us boil but She is a dear when she behave or contact with her Mei Mei. Messy at this moment.
I feel the same guilt towards her, also wonder if having #2 is a rite choice but hope #1 has a companion n less spoilt.
Hubby has lost touch on bb care and #1 can terribly misbehave, we will shout, whack her when she make us boil but She is a dear when she behave or contact with her Mei Mei. Messy at this moment.
bunnymummy82
Member
Mummies,
I'm also feeling worried. I realized that because there is a confinement lady, my #1 thinks baby is "auntie's" responsibility. She refused to let me carry baby n says that auntie can carry. I dunno how to cope when the CL leaves. Though I have a helper n my #1 adores her, sometimes she will still want me to carry her, be with her etc. if not she will cry. Mummies, if she does that, do u all think its better I pass baby to my helper or I should educate her that she won't be getting her way? I dun wan to set a habit but dun wan to hurt her feelings too....
I'm also feeling worried. I realized that because there is a confinement lady, my #1 thinks baby is "auntie's" responsibility. She refused to let me carry baby n says that auntie can carry. I dunno how to cope when the CL leaves. Though I have a helper n my #1 adores her, sometimes she will still want me to carry her, be with her etc. if not she will cry. Mummies, if she does that, do u all think its better I pass baby to my helper or I should educate her that she won't be getting her way? I dun wan to set a habit but dun wan to hurt her feelings too....
totorodino
Active Member
Czlyf, ashgray, tantrums are normal as #1 is trying his/her best to adjust to the new baby. My #1 has his share of tantrums too. I try to remind myself to be patient with him since he has been so loving towards his meimei. Sometimes i also wonder what kind of mommy i am when i get angry with him for something not his fault. Like yesterday, i gave him some of my starbucks chocolate drink n he happened to cough n spit out all the drink on my shirt, meimei's shirt n his shirt. I was sooooo pissed. I knew it wasnt his fault to cough, but i really hate mess.
Bunnymummy, i think if ur #1 wants u to be with her, u should try ur best to give her the attention unless u need to latch no2 etc, or theres no one else to settle no2 at the moment. My feeling is that a baby still has no ability to remember things or feel jealous, but no1 is at the stage where she might feel neglected. As my no1 goes to cc in the day, i already have the whole day to spend with no2. So when no1 is back from cc, i try to be with him as much as possible n let hb handle no2.
Febie, hows yr jealous pot taking to his brother? Did he finish up all ur milk n leave nothing for didi? Hehehe. In the end, did ur mil visit u for hrs at the hospital?
Bunnymummy, i think if ur #1 wants u to be with her, u should try ur best to give her the attention unless u need to latch no2 etc, or theres no one else to settle no2 at the moment. My feeling is that a baby still has no ability to remember things or feel jealous, but no1 is at the stage where she might feel neglected. As my no1 goes to cc in the day, i already have the whole day to spend with no2. So when no1 is back from cc, i try to be with him as much as possible n let hb handle no2.
Febie, hows yr jealous pot taking to his brother? Did he finish up all ur milk n leave nothing for didi? Hehehe. In the end, did ur mil visit u for hrs at the hospital?
mumztan
Member
I think u shud educate. Because #1 needs to know that mommy needs to attend to #2 and #2 is her sibling. She needs to know when will mommy be free for her and when for #2. Recently, whenever i have time for #1, i will explain to her that mei mei is slping and thats why i have time for her. Well, not everyday is sunday... at times when i tell her that meimei needs milk, she will still lie on my lap and wouldnt get up. But she is slowly adapting.
Everytime i hug #1, i will remind her how much i love her. At times, i also ignore #2's cries and attend to #1 first. Everyone take turns to get my attn. Easier said than done, i do feel guilty that #1 dun have my 100%, but like some of u here say... lets just try our best..
mumztan
Member
I try not to whack or reprimand #1 for now. I dont want her to feel any changes with our new addition. I gave her additional warnings before i flare at her and she gets the cue after a while.
pinkyloving
Member
Hello mummies!
I missed those days where we chat w our bb inside our tummy... e old kakis like sei..fuzzybear....ankh...mawanab......all seem to disappear.. All r busy coping w nb bb and #1 and so.. I seriously feel e 9 mth preg jus zoom really fast! Now, looking at e bb beside, I feel nostalgic like gg gyne clinic, gg out w my big tummy, bb kickin me. And now, my bb is aldy 3weeks old! This weekend will b e baby shower. Next Tuesday will b end of confinement and im alone w my bb.
I felt really clumsy taking care of bb. I hurt him accidentally. Like changing diapers, I pinched his skin n he cried so loudly. when feeding him, I didn't know that the milk drip out and ended up his top r all wet without realising until I see e bottle empty and I still happily commented " so guai , so fast finished the milk". I dunno how am I gg to handle him alone. What if anything happen, who can I call for help.
I'm now so half hearted on pumping. Is so time consuming. My bb feeding still not fixed. He can drink hourly, 2 hour n 3 hour. Yst night he drank a total of 240ml from 9pm to 12am! How do u cope w feeding bb and pumping?
Is really not easy to handle a infant plus a toddler esp no helper ard. SN, now u r home w them only? How u settle ur meals?
bunnymummy, I now uses hand express when I hav engorgement. After tt, I pump again. Kept pressing n pumping until the engorgement is gone. Total hr spent was 2 hr. So tired of it. Now my shoulders areas r aching, fingers r breaking due to pumping. Cause I always lean forward when pump and kept looking at my milk collection resulted to over strain of my shoulder muscle n got myself headache as well. I still cant figure a good technique to pump. Need to trial n error ba.
xiaober, I cannot differshape lump n breast fats. ML came n I ask her got lump or blocked? she said no wor. that is my breast fats. So now, I jus anyhow press and I feel no pain at my neh and the milk supply nv reduce shld be fine. Once I see milk supply reduce, I got a 6 sense tt I gt engorgement again. =(
littleprince, poor u. Lucky is over now. Enjoy ur little bundle of joy! For me, is the epi doc who insert e drip. It wasn't painful. Jus a low side that my epi work half body. Dr Tham only came to burst my waterbag. The midwife does the cervix checking for m but cant feel much cos down there aldy numb.
febie, wat happen to you? how come need 2 gyne to assist? Where's ur gyne?
I missed those days where we chat w our bb inside our tummy... e old kakis like sei..fuzzybear....ankh...mawanab......all seem to disappear.. All r busy coping w nb bb and #1 and so.. I seriously feel e 9 mth preg jus zoom really fast! Now, looking at e bb beside, I feel nostalgic like gg gyne clinic, gg out w my big tummy, bb kickin me. And now, my bb is aldy 3weeks old! This weekend will b e baby shower. Next Tuesday will b end of confinement and im alone w my bb.
I felt really clumsy taking care of bb. I hurt him accidentally. Like changing diapers, I pinched his skin n he cried so loudly. when feeding him, I didn't know that the milk drip out and ended up his top r all wet without realising until I see e bottle empty and I still happily commented " so guai , so fast finished the milk". I dunno how am I gg to handle him alone. What if anything happen, who can I call for help.
I'm now so half hearted on pumping. Is so time consuming. My bb feeding still not fixed. He can drink hourly, 2 hour n 3 hour. Yst night he drank a total of 240ml from 9pm to 12am! How do u cope w feeding bb and pumping?
Is really not easy to handle a infant plus a toddler esp no helper ard. SN, now u r home w them only? How u settle ur meals?
bunnymummy, I now uses hand express when I hav engorgement. After tt, I pump again. Kept pressing n pumping until the engorgement is gone. Total hr spent was 2 hr. So tired of it. Now my shoulders areas r aching, fingers r breaking due to pumping. Cause I always lean forward when pump and kept looking at my milk collection resulted to over strain of my shoulder muscle n got myself headache as well. I still cant figure a good technique to pump. Need to trial n error ba.
xiaober, I cannot differshape lump n breast fats. ML came n I ask her got lump or blocked? she said no wor. that is my breast fats. So now, I jus anyhow press and I feel no pain at my neh and the milk supply nv reduce shld be fine. Once I see milk supply reduce, I got a 6 sense tt I gt engorgement again. =(
littleprince, poor u. Lucky is over now. Enjoy ur little bundle of joy! For me, is the epi doc who insert e drip. It wasn't painful. Jus a low side that my epi work half body. Dr Tham only came to burst my waterbag. The midwife does the cervix checking for m but cant feel much cos down there aldy numb.
febie, wat happen to you? how come need 2 gyne to assist? Where's ur gyne?
sei
Member
pinky, I'm still ard... just more of a silent reader as my girl wants to be carried all the time Babies are like that... it's hard to have fixed timings, so just have to follow their cue and this phase will pass before you know it, just like those 9 months For the first month, my girl was like an alarm clock - zun zun wake up every 3 hours but these few days she has been wanting to latch constantly and I feed her every 2 hours. She also doesn't sleep very well during the day even when we carry her. Maybe they are like us, feel more hungry when weather is cold plus pee more too... Don't worry on being alone with baby, practice makes perfect. When there is no help, you will have to do the things by yourself again and again until you are an expert. Just focus on baby first and see if your hb can help with the housework when he's not working. Are you exclusively pumping or latching on as well? I find it easier to just latch on especially when I'm alone with baby. At least don't need to do the washing and sterilizing warming of ebm and save a lot of time. Also good when baby doesn't have regular feeding hours.
On handling #1 and #2, sometimes if I'm reading a book with #1 and #2 wakes up crying, I will ask #1 for "permission" to tend to #2 first, or ask her to come with me and see why #2 is crying... and we sort of make a game of it, and try and guess if #2 is hungry or she poo'ed. This works for me I do feel guilty sometimes as #1 is at cc the whole day, and when she's back from school, I don't spend a lot of time with her like I used to as hb will bring her to bed. That's another reason why I prefer to latch on, as I can be in the living room with her and talk to her, or read a book to her, or watch tv together while feeding #2.
bunnymummy, I think if your #1 especially ask you to carry her, you should try your best to give her your attention. My #1 does that too sometimes when I'm latching, so I will just shift the baby slightly and ask #1 to sit on my other lap for a while and it makes her happy
Babies are like that... it's hard to have fixed timings, so just have to follow their cue and this phase will pass before you know it, just like those 9 months For the first month, my girl was like an alarm clock - zun zun wake up every 3 hours but these few days she has been wanting to latch constantly and I feed her every 2 hours. She also doesn't sleep very well during the day even when we carry her. Maybe they are like us, feel more hungry when weather is cold plus pee more too... Don't worry on being alone with baby, practice makes perfect. When there is no help, you will have to do the things by yourself again and again until you are an expert. Just focus on baby first and see if your hb can help with the housework when he's not working. Are you exclusively pumping or latching on as well? I find it easier to just latch on especially when I'm alone with baby. At least don't need to do the washing and sterilizing warming of ebm and save a lot of time. Also good when baby doesn't have regular feeding hours.On handling #1 and #2, sometimes if I'm reading a book with #1 and #2 wakes up crying, I will ask #1 for "permission" to tend to #2 first, or ask her to come with me and see why #2 is crying... and we sort of make a game of it, and try and guess if #2 is hungry or she poo'ed. This works for me
I do feel guilty sometimes as #1 is at cc the whole day, and when she's back from school, I don't spend a lot of time with her like I used to as hb will bring her to bed. That's another reason why I prefer to latch on, as I can be in the living room with her and talk to her, or read a book to her, or watch tv together while feeding #2.bunnymummy, I think if your #1 especially ask you to carry her, you should try your best to give her your attention. My #1 does that too sometimes when I'm latching, so I will just shift the baby slightly and ask #1 to sit on my other lap for a while and it makes her happy
totorodino
Active Member
Pinky, i also missed the times when we were all chatting in the forum while still at work. Although fb is easier to read n reply but it's easier to give a personal update on the forum.
My #1 goes to cc in the day so it's still manageable. I will pump whenever baby is sleeping. Will also do some simple housework like laundry (washing machine of course) n fast mopping. As for meals, sometimes i just steam a brocolli to eat for lunch. Dinner will be cooked by hb or buy back. Dont worry too much abt how u will cope after confinement, i find that we usually imagine the worst but reality is much better. One step at a time. U will find a routine tt works best for u after a few days. I also get v tired of pumping.... Especially when i need to go out, i will constantly worry abt coming back early to pump. Arghhhh. Cant wait to stop bf at one yr mark.
My #1 goes to cc in the day so it's still manageable. I will pump whenever baby is sleeping. Will also do some simple housework like laundry (washing machine of course) n fast mopping. As for meals, sometimes i just steam a brocolli to eat for lunch. Dinner will be cooked by hb or buy back. Dont worry too much abt how u will cope after confinement, i find that we usually imagine the worst but reality is much better. One step at a time. U will find a routine tt works best for u after a few days. I also get v tired of pumping.... Especially when i need to go out, i will constantly worry abt coming back early to pump. Arghhhh. Cant wait to stop bf at one yr mark.
bunnymummy82
Member
thanks mummies for ur advices. yesterday my #1 actually told my helper, "i want to cry then mama carry". she's only 2+. oh my! she actually knows she can get her way this way. so aft tt i kept reminding her that i dun like her to cry (throw tantrum) and that if she anyhow cry, i wont carry her. she needs to ask for things properly. i also told her, she needs to wait.
if im not busy w newborn, i dun mind giving her the attention. the thing is, when she sees me carry mei mei, then she purposely immediately ask me to carry. duh... that is when i really am in a fix. nowadays i see FB, so many of my friends going holidays. i envy them so much! i kept thinking if there isnt a baby, i could be bringing my #1 on holiday w hubby. how nice that will be... especially #1 is already 2, much easier to take care of.
if im not busy w newborn, i dun mind giving her the attention. the thing is, when she sees me carry mei mei, then she purposely immediately ask me to carry. duh... that is when i really am in a fix. nowadays i see FB, so many of my friends going holidays. i envy them so much! i kept thinking if there isnt a baby, i could be bringing my #1 on holiday w hubby. how nice that will be... especially #1 is already 2, much easier to take care of.
third3timemum
Member
Think most mummies have migrated to Facebook!
poohpooh80
Member
Hi mummies, sorry to interrupt ...
I think I have posted this before but not sure where did it go.
Did anyone gave birth at Mt A via sect (be it 1 bedded or 2 bedded). Can you share with me your cost of the bill ?
can you email me cos I scare i will lost the thread again. I need to know how much should I set aside ... My email is
[email protected]
THANKS
I think I have posted this before but not sure where did it go.
Did anyone gave birth at Mt A via sect (be it 1 bedded or 2 bedded). Can you share with me your cost of the bill ?
can you email me cos I scare i will lost the thread again. I need to know how much should I set aside ... My email is
[email protected]
THANKS
I love piglet85
Member
Hi mimmies..juz saw tis thread..I delivered my #4 onNov..hope to know more mummies..
I love piglet85
Member
U all hv any facebook group? May I join in?
my 22day old girl is drinking 60ml 3hourly for expressed breast milk at night. In the morning I direct latch.
But problem is my girl wakes up 1.5hrly only at night!!! My confinement lady originally thought she's still hungry so feed her every 1.5hrly but my girl will regurgitate the milk out. So my CL concluded she's full just want attention. Wah so now my CL carries her every alternate 1.5hrly at night till she sleeps! I wonder by the time CL lady leaves (in 2 weeks!) I don't know how to handle my girl at night ;(
mumztan
Member
Thanks for sharing.
I asked because i have never ebm bottle my #1 before, i latched her for a year without any prob.
But #2 is a big drinker and cant seem to get enough, i have to pump and get more for her.
I just gotten 4 days of high fever due to breast inflamation, it reduces my milk supply greatly and she gets even more fussy!
To add on to the torture, i just had menses ytd and it didnt help at all.
So i decided to let her ebm, perhaps add fm if supply is not sufficient.
When this drama is over, i will stick to full ebm...
Dun worry, newborns are easy to train. If they stay awake, stand arnd but do not talk. As we talk, we stimulate them and they will get more alert. Put ur hand on her chest for reassurance if needed. I always tell hubby that day time we must make a lot of noise to let them know its day and night time shud be silent so they know its night time. slowly, be patient and they will know how to differentiate.
Thanks Mumztan
Haha my no2 is the small drinker while my no1 is the big drinker.
Usually when you fall sick or menses come, normally the supply will reduce.
For my no1, I got fever once too and my supply dipped but I had continue to latch on for no1 and he seems ok with it.
I am actually a strong believer that must latch on baby as much as possible so that my breast will get the signal to supply enough for my baby. Currently with CL, I've succumbed to the convenience and the temptation to sleep more at night so I have let my CL bottle feed her my ebm. So if you can try to continue latching instead of pumping. Direct latch is more convenient too.. you don't have to wash so many bottles and pump parts.
How old is your baby? It may be likely your baby is undergoing growth spurt hence asking for more this period of time?
Haha my no2 is the small drinker while my no1 is the big drinker.
Usually when you fall sick or menses come, normally the supply will reduce.
For my no1, I got fever once too and my supply dipped but I had continue to latch on for no1 and he seems ok with it.
I am actually a strong believer that must latch on baby as much as possible so that my breast will get the signal to supply enough for my baby. Currently with CL, I've succumbed to the convenience and the temptation to sleep more at night so I have let my CL bottle feed her my ebm. So if you can try to continue latching instead of pumping. Direct latch is more convenient too.. you don't have to wash so many bottles and pump parts.
How old is your baby? It may be likely your baby is undergoing growth spurt hence asking for more this period of time?
mumztan
Member
Shes 15 days old today... Actually, i was suspecting a growth spurt too which made things seems worse
With high fever, headache, mantitis, low supply, menses, jaundice baby, growth spurt, hungry baby... its so difficult for me
I do feel guilty for not full latching baby but.... i guess for now, i have to let go a little so i can get some sanity back..
i was planning to top up some fm with ebm and feed baby at night to make sure shes full and bring down her jaundice while i let my mantitis recover.
Meanwhile, i will latch n pump in the day to keep my supply going till my menses is over and i recover from infection.
When everything goes back to normal, I will bring things back to normal.
i hope im doing the right thing...
febie
Active Member
Bluenosebear, pinky,
My gynae on leave and be decided to arrive.. Bo Bian gotta go to for the gynae that relief mine...
She kept asking me to push etc and I tried all my might. After pushing for 1hr then she senses something wrong n bring in ultrasound. Follow by asking another gynae who was also back on Sunday for delivery.
SN, no leh. I let him try ebm after I pump out he dun fancy the taste. I tried to add to his milk with those pumps I made.
Now I start to freeze since I'm latching #2 most of the time. Jealous pot sayang his didi a lot. When I praise #2, he asked to be praised too...
As for mummies with 2 kids, I still find time for #1... Actually just spend with them are 30min playing. When latching, I will chat with #1. Get him to help with getting stuff. But I guess age plays the different here. Not too sure how old your #1 are but, try to find time. Even 15min they also happy. Jia you.
My gynae on leave and be decided to arrive.. Bo Bian gotta go to for the gynae that relief mine...
She kept asking me to push etc and I tried all my might. After pushing for 1hr then she senses something wrong n bring in ultrasound. Follow by asking another gynae who was also back on Sunday for delivery.
SN, no leh. I let him try ebm after I pump out he dun fancy the taste. I tried to add to his milk with those pumps I made.
Now I start to freeze since I'm latching #2 most of the time. Jealous pot sayang his didi a lot. When I praise #2, he asked to be praised too...
As for mummies with 2 kids, I still find time for #1... Actually just spend with them are 30min playing. When latching, I will chat with #1. Get him to help with getting stuff. But I guess age plays the different here. Not too sure how old your #1 are but, try to find time. Even 15min they also happy. Jia you.
Wow your menses came back 15days after delivery? I think I am still discharging lochia.. or is it menses? How to differentiate? The discharge never stop completely after my delivery...hmmmShes 15 days old today... Actually, i was suspecting a growth spurt too which made things seems worse
With high fever, headache, mantitis, low supply, menses, jaundice baby, growth spurt, hungry baby... its so difficult for me
I do feel guilty for not full latching baby but.... i guess for now, i have to let go a little so i can get some sanity back..
i was planning to top up some fm with ebm and feed baby at night to make sure shes full and bring down her jaundice while i let my mantitis recover.
Meanwhile, i will latch n pump in the day to keep my supply going till my menses is over and i recover from infection.
When everything goes back to normal, I will bring things back to normal.
i hope im doing the right thing...
If your baby still having jaundice I would recommend you to feed ebm via bottle. That happened to my no2 too. Peaked during 6day old and was warded. Baby was too sleepy to feed and there was still problem with latching at that time. My husband had then adviced me to feed via bottle while I pump. At least we can ensure baby has enough fluid to clear the jaundice and also clear the meconium.
Don't worry mumztan. Whatever you do, it's definitely for the best of your child. Don't doubt yourself
Jia you!
mumztan
Member
Wow your menses came back 15days after delivery? I think I am still discharging lochia.. or is it menses? How to differentiate? The discharge never stop completely after my delivery...hmmm
If your baby still having jaundice I would recommend you to feed ebm via bottle. That happened to my no2 too. Peaked during 6day old and was warded. Baby was too sleepy to feed and there was still problem with latching at that time. My husband had then adviced me to feed via bottle while I pump. At least we can ensure baby has enough fluid to clear the jaundice and also clear the meconium.
Don't worry mumztan. Whatever you do, it's definitely for the best of your child. Don't doubt yourself
My lochia cleared after 3 days... i was worried sick so i called gynae.. he said he cleared quite thoroughly during csect.. true enough, during first review after birth, ultrasound shows that its clear. I thought it would take some time for menses to come since im bfing, but i think due to the poor latch and low supply, menses came and made it worse.
#2's meconium cleared on the 3rd day. She poo normally after that because she was drinking a lot during my hospital stay and the first night at home... now jus need the fluid to clear the jaundice. It pains to see her so sleepy everytime...
Lochia is more clotty for me but some feel that its the same as menses.
I guess when it comes to being a mother, its not abt being a hero...
mumztan
Member
Thanks.. really need the sanity and sleep back on track. Everytime when #1 needs my cuddles but i cant give her, she would say... "i miss u mom"
I need to give her back what she deserves...
febie
Active Member
SN, mil came to visit, 2.5hrs. And only 2.5 hrs cos I told them that I have to latch the baby.
The moment she arrived, only #1 #2 & me in the room.
She took over #2 from me, ignore #1. Carried for 2.5 hrs until my hub return..
Super bth. Muz keep carrying meh? After hub took #2 away, she starts looking from her seat and ask #1' why u always fell down?
Damn right? When she passed #2 to me to feed cos hb has settled his dinner n I had finished feeding #1 his dinner, she just stand there wanna watch me latch #2... I refused to do anything and tell her they there I can't latch.
Both fil & her move behind the curtain, she starts to say she wants to use toilet etc. I ask hb if they left the room etc...
And hb suggest walking them to mrt station. Ahahhaa horrible right? Die die refused to leave.
The moment she arrived, only #1 #2 & me in the room.
She took over #2 from me, ignore #1. Carried for 2.5 hrs until my hub return.
. Super bth. Muz keep carrying meh? After hub took #2 away, she starts looking from her seat and ask #1' why u always fell down?
Damn right? When she passed #2 to me to feed cos hb has settled his dinner n I had finished feeding #1 his dinner, she just stand there wanna watch me latch #2... I refused to do anything and tell her they there I can't latch.
Both fil & her move behind the curtain, she starts to say she wants to use toilet etc. I ask hb if they left the room etc...
And hb suggest walking them to mrt station. Ahahhaa horrible right? Die die refused to leave.
mumztan
Member
Febie, i totally understand how u feel.
I met such issues before and i learnt one thing... be firm and direct.
If the next time they come, ask them to come when ur hub is arnd.
Since i had my own place, my mom treat my place like a tourist attraction.
She will bring guests over weekly. One of her friends even snatch bb from my hands the moment i brought bb out of the room.
I told her off, and of coz that auntie say "i treat u like daughter, i wont harm u..."
Well, she didnt remove her beaded bracelet and let bb head roll on it, u say i will angry or not?
Lay the rules properly and they will abide. Many think that it will be over after confinement, but the pampering n attn they get now is what they will continue to get when they grow up.
My SIL carried bb and shake her non stop.. i keep quiet. But when my niece carried and pat her for nothing, i told my niece not to do that to make my life easier.
The whole family heard n got my point...
Hugzz
I met such issues before and i learnt one thing... be firm and direct.
If the next time they come, ask them to come when ur hub is arnd.
Since i had my own place, my mom treat my place like a tourist attraction.
She will bring guests over weekly. One of her friends even snatch bb from my hands the moment i brought bb out of the room.
I told her off, and of coz that auntie say "i treat u like daughter, i wont harm u..."
Well, she didnt remove her beaded bracelet and let bb head roll on it, u say i will angry or not?
Lay the rules properly and they will abide. Many think that it will be over after confinement, but the pampering n attn they get now is what they will continue to get when they grow up.
My SIL carried bb and shake her non stop.. i keep quiet. But when my niece carried and pat her for nothing, i told my niece not to do that to make my life easier.
The whole family heard n got my point...
Hugzz
mumztan
Member
czlf
im better liao, seeing bb sleep soundly and back to normal makes me feel better. and im certained that her fussy recently = lack of milk
So now im pumping and latching. if i know not enough milk, i jus make fm for her and latch her the next feed.
Until im recovered, i will latch her fully again...
how r u coping?
im better liao, seeing bb sleep soundly and back to normal makes me feel better. and im certained that her fussy recently = lack of milk
So now im pumping and latching. if i know not enough milk, i jus make fm for her and latch her the next feed.
Until im recovered, i will latch her fully again...
how r u coping?
totorodino
Active Member
Febie, u finally reported on the forum! Haha. So many pple disappear n migrate to fb alr, but fb hard to ask individuals for their updates. Imagine i post on fb to ask abt u n then the rest will b like wondering y so exclusive. Lol. Haha, so u finally decided on single room in the hospital. Wah 2.5 hr is v long. U never close ur eyes n pretend to zz? Haha. Wah carry bbfor 2.5hr! Never tell her dun carty too long wait bb used to being carried. She another one whose mouth cannot grow ivory tooth huh, straight away ask y no1 always fall down. Like my mil always ask wat no1 wants to b when he grows up n she always bring up stupid professions like road sweeper, thinking its a damn funny joke. At least ur mil cant visit u at ur mom's place. U have peace for one month! I had to fight tooth n nail for my peace by telling her not to visit!
Mumztan, my mil almost treated my place like tourist attraction too. Wanted to bring distant relatives to our house during my confinement. I told her straight in the face (via sms) not convenient to visit!
Val, haha we should post a knock knock on fb to rally the old forumers to come back n report here. Haha
Mumztan, my mil almost treated my place like tourist attraction too. Wanted to bring distant relatives to our house during my confinement. I told her straight in the face (via sms) not convenient to visit!
Val, haha we should post a knock knock on fb to rally the old forumers to come back n report here. Haha
third3timemum
Member
SN, you can Private Message us ma! Then no body will know
beaniehope
Member
Hi, can I be added to the FB group for nov mummies?
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Hi Mumztan
Good to hear you are coping better. Feeling good about yourself will make you handle any fussy baby anytime
My husband and I just realised we have a new problem.. our no1. I did mention since pregnant with no2, my hubby started taking up the caring role of my no1 and now my no1 is sticky to his dad.
But after these few weekends after discharged, I realised this is not as simple as sticky. My no1 comes back to us on weeknights and weekends. During weekends my no1 cries 80% of the time. Little things will agitate him and he will start crying and if ignored, he will seek out his dad to be carried and soothed. He can be so persistent in his crying.. he cried 1 full hour this evening when we told him we can't let him feed himself and we have to feed him as we need to bring him out later and we are running out of time. This time round his dad and myself ignored him but he continued crying his dad, even climbed up the sofa where his dad sits and clung himself to his dad and continued crying!!!
I remember during my pregnancy with no2, daddy in order to quickly soothe no1, will carry him to quiet him down. But seems like my no1 has learned this and is doing this everytime he doesn't feel good and when he doesn't get things his way.
I am frustrated with his constant crying. Almost would like to whack him to teach him a lesson but stopped myself. Coz I dunno if he's so coz he's spoilt or he's so coz he is still adapting to a new family member.
I feel very lost... how to teach my no1 to get rid of this habit of his? Any advice?
Good to hear you are coping better. Feeling good about yourself will make you handle any fussy baby anytime
My husband and I just realised we have a new problem.. our no1. I did mention since pregnant with no2, my hubby started taking up the caring role of my no1 and now my no1 is sticky to his dad.
But after these few weekends after discharged, I realised this is not as simple as sticky. My no1 comes back to us on weeknights and weekends. During weekends my no1 cries 80% of the time. Little things will agitate him and he will start crying and if ignored, he will seek out his dad to be carried and soothed. He can be so persistent in his crying.. he cried 1 full hour this evening when we told him we can't let him feed himself and we have to feed him as we need to bring him out later and we are running out of time. This time round his dad and myself ignored him but he continued crying his dad, even climbed up the sofa where his dad sits and clung himself to his dad and continued crying!!!
I remember during my pregnancy with no2, daddy in order to quickly soothe no1, will carry him to quiet him down. But seems like my no1 has learned this and is doing this everytime he doesn't feel good and when he doesn't get things his way.
I am frustrated with his constant crying. Almost would like to whack him to teach him a lesson but stopped myself. Coz I dunno if he's so coz he's spoilt or he's so coz he is still adapting to a new family member.
I feel very lost... how to teach my no1 to get rid of this habit of his? Any advice?
mumztan
Member
first, u and ur hub have to start "costing in" his tantrums time when u guys plan for an outing. Once u have time for him to throw tantrums, u wont feel so pek chek and can manage him calmly.
#1 indeed is attn seeking from his dad, how old is ur #1?
For me, i know #1 will get jealous and do not follow instructions just to get more time with us so we start to play games with her. We play doctor/nurse while changing for baby. I let her mingle with #2 more often and praise her everytime she does things for us or meimei. Praises work for us and she feels more eager to get involved. Once she gets used to #2's existence, its easy for us to nego time with her.
I do get tough on #1 as im training her to be independent so that when dad goes back to work, and im home alone with 2, its easier for me to manage. Since discharged, i whacked her once for being a "princess" at home and not obeying instructions. Teachers in school told me that its normal esp when i just had a baby and this phrase will pass soon. MIL also told me that after full month will get better.
What i always do is to let #1 be aware of what im gg to do esp when i need to nurse or tend to bb. I will ask her for permission. It may sound "duh" but she feels respected that way. Sometimes she will continue to lie on my lap and wont let go. But with some coaxing and praises, she allowed me to go and checking on me if im done every now and then. If i need a longer time, i will call her into the room and talk to her while i nurse bb.
My golden rule is to be soft yet firm. I need to give the kids due respect and acknowledge their presence. I get them to be part of the newborn project so that they understand what i need to do and how much time i need.
As for crying, (at this moment), i will still give #1 a hug to cool her down, then explain to her. Whether she understands or not, i still get her attn and she got mine. But dont jus dump her there and leave after she stop crying, hold her hand and bring her wherever u wanted to go and let her watch u to ensure her that u will always be there and she always be with u.
Did u exchange gifts with #1 and #2 upon delivery? Old myth but i think it quite help....
#1 indeed is attn seeking from his dad, how old is ur #1?
For me, i know #1 will get jealous and do not follow instructions just to get more time with us so we start to play games with her. We play doctor/nurse while changing for baby. I let her mingle with #2 more often and praise her everytime she does things for us or meimei. Praises work for us and she feels more eager to get involved. Once she gets used to #2's existence, its easy for us to nego time with her.
I do get tough on #1 as im training her to be independent so that when dad goes back to work, and im home alone with 2, its easier for me to manage. Since discharged, i whacked her once for being a "princess" at home and not obeying instructions. Teachers in school told me that its normal esp when i just had a baby and this phrase will pass soon. MIL also told me that after full month will get better.
What i always do is to let #1 be aware of what im gg to do esp when i need to nurse or tend to bb. I will ask her for permission. It may sound "duh" but she feels respected that way. Sometimes she will continue to lie on my lap and wont let go. But with some coaxing and praises, she allowed me to go and checking on me if im done every now and then. If i need a longer time, i will call her into the room and talk to her while i nurse bb.
My golden rule is to be soft yet firm. I need to give the kids due respect and acknowledge their presence. I get them to be part of the newborn project so that they understand what i need to do and how much time i need.
As for crying, (at this moment), i will still give #1 a hug to cool her down, then explain to her. Whether she understands or not, i still get her attn and she got mine. But dont jus dump her there and leave after she stop crying, hold her hand and bring her wherever u wanted to go and let her watch u to ensure her that u will always be there and she always be with u.
Did u exchange gifts with #1 and #2 upon delivery? Old myth but i think it quite help....
cluelessme03
New Member
hi ladies..just wanted to ask if anyone have heard of LD Venus Gold? It's said that its good for after birth..have anyone tried?