(2013/11) November 2013

Attigal, did u pump n throw after drinkinh dom?

Nope. I didn't take a lot of dom, like 1/3 of chicken essence bottle? I wait for the high and the redness to fade off before I breastfeed. Anyway both my sisters before me did the same and their kids are fine, so I'm doing the same :)
 


Hi,
Pinky-how is yr bb. Hope everything is ok.

Time flies fast.
Tis sun will be bb full month celebration.
Just checking, if breastfeeding, k we eat sashimi?

Its up to you. some are afraid of salmonella, some like me bochup. I took sashimi during my pregnancy too, but from a reputable restaurant.
 
Attigal - ok.. shall start my dom.. lol..


Xiiaoolin - i kept Reminding #1 when i was preg.. i prepare her everyday.. i let her feel my tummy.. go shopping n let her choose meimei clothes etc.. have to train her to be independent.. golden rule is to let go..
Let go of sticky schedule with #1.. it may even mean coming home later than usual and leave #1 with another caregiver.

Let to let go of attending to #1 like u used to so that #1 get used to it n be more independent.

Let go of the being on time for #1. Sometimes u have to tell #1 to wait while u get something done first.. this helps when ur #2 needs ur immediate attn.

Most imptly, learn to stay out of #1's sight so #1 get used to not having u within their vision..

Now prep for it, it will help u when #2 comes.
 
Hi mumztan,

What happened to you when you were in TMC? you mentioned that you had a horrible night there?
Can anyone help to add me into the FB group? I really need the support of fellow mummies at times when my baby girl keep crying and just doesn't want to settle down to bed and wants to be carried all the times.
Am I the only one facing this problem? she just turned 1 month old today on the 21 Dec.
I am really overwhelmed with parenthood and did not expect it to be so difficult. I guess being 1st time mum is not helping too.
 
Hi mumztan,

What happened to you when you were in TMC? you mentioned that you had a horrible night there?
Can anyone help to add me into the FB group? I really need the support of fellow mummies at times when my baby girl keep crying and just doesn't want to settle down to bed and wants to be carried all the times.
Am I the only one facing this problem? she just turned 1 month old today on the 21 Dec.
I am really overwhelmed with parenthood and did not expect it to be so difficult. I guess being 1st time mum is not helping too.

Oh can I also join this FB group ?

Beaniehope, u r not alone. I'm struggling very hard too, think getting post natal depression. Sigh. At least ur girl wants u to carry her. Mine cries even when I carry :~( so my bb is crying and this mummy has no idea y and can't soothe him most of the time.
 
Hi Linksey,

I am so glad that I'm not the only one feeling helpless when the crying gets overwhelmed and my girl doesn't want to go to bed at night... somehow, now im fearful when night approaches.
Btw, how old is your girl now? friends with kid are telling me that it will only get better..... but when will that happen?
Up till now (after 4 weeks the baby is delivered), I still regret having a child although I was the one who wanted to start a family. Is this normal?
 
Beaniehope, linksey, pm me your fb emails n I will inform mod to add u.

Beaniehope, its normal to feel this way. when I had my #1 I wanted to leave him at the hospital because i had no clue how to be a mum! Also cried buckets because I was so scared I will kill my boy with my ignorance. My sil told me she wanted to give her baby up for adoption during her 1st mth.. thinking back.. really funny though back then nothing funny about it because its such a terrifying life-altering event. Its times like this we will joke that we want to stuff baby back into our tummies and let placenta take care heh.

Later on when your baby hit her terrible 2s, you'll want to leave her at the roadside and drive off too LOL.

As for the crying and fussing in the evenings. you girls are not alone. Many of our fb grp mummies facing it, myself included. So far I relied on the sarong, rocker, comfort latching to keep me sane heh. I'm not above leaving him in the sarong to cry while I close the door to get away from the crying (though I come back frequently to check... I'm ok with him crying, its only when i don't hear him crying then I go check if he is ok), especially when I have ruled out everything else like feeding, changing him, wind in his tummy, comfort holding him. sometimes I get my hb to hold him for a change and it also works sometimes.
 
Thanks beaniehope and attigal. I feel a little better

Mine's a bb boy. He's 7 weeks now. I only took over taking care of him this week after my confinement nanny left. A few times he cried I also cried sigh. Really feel like running away when same like beaniehope, I was the one who wanted to try for a baby. Everyday I worry whether he's crying because I'm feeding him too little or too much, is he sleeping enough or getting too much stimulation, whether he hates me because of the way I carry him, etc. Now I know y when I was complaining abt preg pains, pple told me when the baby comes out, all u might wish is for the baby to still stay inside.
 
I am posting at this ungodly hour because my baby doesn't want to go back to sleep after her 5am feed. I'm suspecting that 90ml every 3 hrly is not enough to satisfy her anymore. She wake up earlier before the 3 hr mark tonight for every feed and was sucking hard at the pacifier after her feed.

Will try to increase her feed to 120ml today, will her frequency stretch with the increase in volume? Am I overfeeding her at this volume at 1 month old?

Sometimes I wonder why everyone tell me that it's so wonderful to have a baby and called it a bundle of joy when all I'm feeling right now is misery. I totally can understand why your SIL thought of giving the baby up for adoption.

I'm just like linksey, keep thinking if there's something not right with the baby, why is she crying after feed and not falling back to sleep?? Will she wake up again when I put her back on the cot? These are the worries that's been bugging me everyday and it get worse at night.

I also wondered if all babies are like that or only my baby is so demanding? I also heard friends that mentioned that theirs is easy baby. They stretch their night sleep on their own after the 1st month and doesn't wake up for the early night feed and slept from 11pm - 4pm... I really really envy them and doesn't seem to complain about their baby
 
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Beaniehope

I had FTs as room mates.. they brought thosai into the room to makan.. turn the ac to 30degrees, leaving me perspiring n bedridden... :(

Their fam brought luggage n bathe in the toilet.. until i ask the nurse y they r still there at 10pm den they left..

I didnt get much slp until nurse change room for me..

As for crying bb, my #2 is very loud. Jus remember to repeat the routine until they r used to it..

1. Latch or bottle bb
2. Bb half drowsy, put them on bed to let them fall asleep by themselves

If they cry, repeat the process again by carrying the bb up, half drowsy, put bb down.

My #2 is the same but if they r tired, they will eventually fall asleep.

As bb grows, their awake time gets longer. The sad part is when they decided to stay awake at the wrong hours.

So mus teach bb to knw when its day time (on tv, BBC vacuum floor,talk more)

and night (dim lights, quiet. Even when u diaper change, also mus b gentle a bit)

then bb will learn to stay awake during the day n slp thru the night.

Hope this helps.. :)
 
Linksey, could it be due to colic? Growth spurt? #2 jis had growth spurt n kept crying .. when she cries, she gets more "windy".. so i gave her some jing feng san and increase her milk intake. It last abt a week.

As for dumping bb aside..?
Even when this is my #2, i told her i wan to throw her into the dustbin n my hubby n entire family stare at me.

I was very moody and asked myself y i still give birth when #1 is 3yo n i was leading a very relax life.. lol..

But after those tough hours, i will be ok again.. lol.. its the hormones acting up ba..
 
Hi mumztan, that's really terrible!
That's the time when you needed the most rest to recover from the delivery.
I will try your method to carry her till she's drowsy then put her down if she wake up crying

Btw, how much are you feeding your gal now? I was hoping that my gal will slowly adjust her frequency after I increase her feed to 120ml and also hope that it's not too much for her else I would see her vomit out the excess.

I also wonder when did mummies feel better about their babies and not have such negative feelings of giving birth to them or hope to return to the lifestyle I used to enjoy.

Hopefully these negative thoughts will be over before i return to work then it would be another new challenge of having to juggle between work and the baby.
 
I was eager to be in the hospital at first cause i can rest. Ended up being tortured.. i couldnt wait to go home in the end.

Yes, i waz super negative n tired..

I bf for 20min or feed 120ml
Burp her every few mins when bottle

Learn to take cued frm her. Sometimes my gal will push the teat out when shes full after 90ml.. i let her be..

She spits milk often until i chg teat to slow flow so she wont take in too much air..

Normally 6-9mths for hormone to balance.. but for us to have a sip of coffee n enjoy.. at least bb
1 yr old when she c as n sit, take solids. When she starts to walk, a little bz running after her but if tr as trained early to b in play pen or an enclosed area, it wouldn't be too tough..

In fact, 6 mth start solid liao wont b so tiring liao..
 
Oh man!! That's a long way to go till at least my baby is 6 months old.

That's still a long way to go for me, only 1/6 way now.

I'm praying hard that after I put her to bed successfully, she doesn't wake up crying 5 mins later... It's really nerve wrecking and everything is beyond my control. Can only keep my fingers crossed that she will sleep through till her next feed...

It's such an irony, when she sleep too well in the day I'm also worried that she will not sleep well at night.

Really torturing and wonder why no one warn me about all these :(
 
Beaniehope, mumztan, Linksey, I have pm the mod with your emails. see you girls soon in our fb! my nick there is different though, but the same userpic so you all shd be able to recognize me.

Just put bb in sarong at 11.30 after bathing him.. and he koon until now... manage to have time to cook lunch, soak his clothing, do my dishes, fold clothes and come in here to post.. going to wake him soon for his feed.

mumztan - I haven't yet want to abandon #2... even though he is more demanding then my #1! Poops and drinks more then my #1 too. But on account he didn't have to go through photo therapy like #1, I think sort of makes up for it.. still can be pretty frustrating. esp times like last few nights ago he poop a monster poop, stains his long pants, I changed him, fed him, then he threw up all over me and himself, gotta change him again, then he did another monster poop afterwards, stains his clothes again. Thats when I feel like screaming LOL do his laundry till my hands so dry... haiz.

I think I'm better prepared for #2 this time round cause a lot of things I more or less already encounter before with #1 (plus pick up more this time round) so i wasn't that emo this time. Breastfeeding is still a b*tch this time round, but better compared to #1.

Beaniehope, Linksey, I asked myself the same thing when I was at your stage. How come nobody tell me its going to be this tough?! If I knew I will probably think twice before wanting children! So I guess its better that we didn't know in the first place else our birth rate is going to be 0 LOL.. ignorance has its advantages.

When I planned for #2, I already knew and was mentally prepared for the whole cycle again, but still there are times I find myself cursing and wondering if I'm an idiot for putting myself through this whole thing again. I'm pretty sure a few years later, I will look back.. and maybe still wish for another baby LOL. ok bb screaming liao... ciao.
 
Hi attigal & mumztan,

I really admire you gals who are willing to go through the ordeal again despite knowing how tough it's gonna be.

I really admire that your bb can sleep through from 1 feed to the other. My baby is so fussy, need to be held permanently to settle down to her sleep. Although being cradle in my arms, she still get startle on and off.
 
Try to pm jasline chan your email address. She's the fb admin. And pls check your email once she informed that she added. U have to access from email.
Beanie is your girl having reflux?
 
Mumztan, I suspect my bb takes in too much air when feeding so he cries after his feed. Trying to burp him more now. Was having difficulties burping him but think I might hv figured out a way that works for him. Tried various positions over these few days, of course with him screaming down the house half the time. -_-"

Beanie, I'll b lucky if my bb doesn't wake me up every 2hrs at night. Not only does he need multiple night feeds plus was in pain, trying v hard to pass gas at 5am this morn. Dunno how to get him to sleep thru the night or at least follow a routine. Today I tried to put him on 3hrly feed but not v successful. He's 7-week and taking only 110ml per 3hrly. Don't dare to increase as he spits up often
 
Actually my friends did mention parenthood is tough that's y so many of them hesitating in having #2 one. I just didn't know how hard it could b. Now I know y new parents tend to look like panda bears. And it will nv end !! I should hv known looking at my own parents, worrying abt me even until now
 
Attigal.. #1 gave me a gd life.. she doesn't fuss or cry when shes a bb. Very rugged bb, very chin chai too..

#2 is completely diff, totally opposite.. plus my nightmare in tmc, mastitis, high fever, menses.. i went crazy...

Since im the only caregiver, i had to cook dinner, do hsewk, do my own confinement.. lol.. tat 30 days was sad...

Im prepared for #2 but not for those nasty hiccups.. :( so sad. But thank god, all's well now..
 
Beaniehope, not everyday is Sunday.. i also have nights where i suffer so much.. i also have nights when i dun get any slp too..

Dun worry, it will get better each day. Cause bb is growing every min.. :)
 
Linksey, my gal took in too much air.. her latch wasnt gd enough at first n shes v kan cheong..

Like i said, they r growing everyday so her latch got better, teat changed.. spit up reduced 60%.. i put ruyi oil for her to help her pass gas out easily. If not she will grunt n stretch non stop until she spits..


Mummies.. have u tried bringing bb for shopping? Share ur experience
 
Try to pm jasline chan your email address. She's the fb admin. And pls check your email once she informed that she added. U have to access from email.
Beanie is your girl having reflux?

Hi Febie,

I suppose you mean messaging jasline chan in FB cos I can't seem to find any nick in SMH.

How you I know if my gal is having reflux?
 
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Hi linksey & mumztan,

It's been overwhelming for me on certain days.
I guess today is one of those days as my hubby is heading back to work.

I will also be bringing my girl to polyclinic for her 2nd dose of hep B jab on Monday too.

I can't help but worry about everything... Sighz
 
Hi linksey & mumztan,

It's been overwhelming for me on certain days.
I guess today is one of those days as my hubby is heading back to work.

I will also be bringing my girl to polyclinic for her 2nd dose of hep B jab on Monday too.

I can't help but worry about everything... Sighz

I also felt worried when hub went back to work

But hey! When i was home alone with bb, i felt that i could do better.. prob because i knw im alone, i had to be independent.. so the maternal instincts kicked in?

Since then, im always tell myself to be more daring a bit.

I brought bb out to jem today with hub n #1.. i was worried.. but i really wanna go shopping..

Althou at the last part we had to skip din tai fung cause bb was crying for milk n she couldn't latch long enough to give us some peace.. we were still happy cause we managed to stay outdoors longer than the first time.

Practice makes perfect. Im very sure u will get the hang of it.

Jus remember to plan ahead. Prep the wet tissue before we change diaper, lookout of the nursing room when u rch a new location etc.

Jiayou, im sure u can do it.
 
Hi mumztan,

I manage to bring my gal out with my hubby on last Friday to Bedok mall for lunch, followed by Bak kwa purchase at kembangan.

Hubby carried her in the ergobaby carrier and she manage to sleep through the trip.

Yesterday also brought her out in stroller while we had steamboat dinner with my family at golden mile. Brought stroller out cos I doubt the place have any changing station.

I guess my life definitely change entirely with consideration of my gal for every trip out as top priority. Whenever I look at niece who is 4 yrs old and I hope that baby gal can grow up quickly.

The dinner with my family and talking to them really help to lift my really emotional mood yesterday. I really think that nothing beats family support and I should be blessed that I have such supportive family.

I am considered lucky too as I still have my helper around instead of being all alone during my maternity leave.
 
Great to hear tat.. go out more often.. it helps to get our sanity bk..

I got so many plcs i wish to go..

Im gg to try jurong pt tdy... lol.. need to get my planner n some.bb stuff
 
Great to hear tat.. go out more often.. it helps to get our sanity bk..

I got so many plcs i wish to go..

Im gg to try jurong pt tdy... lol.. need to get my planner n some.bb stuff

Hi mumztan, you are really good to be able to bring your baby out all alone. Are you pushing her in the stroller?
 
Mumztan, the ru yi oil really helps. My bb didn't grunt and stretch so much last night that I went to check on him cause not used to him being so quiet lol

Can I check if anyone put their babies on a schedule? Like 9am feed, 12pm feed, etc? I want to put mine on schedule so it's easier to take care when I return to work but dunno how to....
 
Hi mumztan, you are really good to be able to bring your baby out all alone. Are you pushing her in the stroller?
Brought her out on ergo..
i did that for my #1 as well..

actually, it might sound inconvenient to be out alone. but being alone, u can nurse bb as long as u wan without worrying about friends or family waiting for u outside.
and if bb is fussy suddenly, u can sit at somewhere for as long as u wan without being paiseh that u hold up other pple's time.. :)
 
Mumztan, the ru yi oil really helps. My bb didn't grunt and stretch so much last night that I went to check on him cause not used to him being so quiet lol

Can I check if anyone put their babies on a schedule? Like 9am feed, 12pm feed, etc? I want to put mine on schedule so it's easier to take care when I return to work but dunno how to....

great! happy for u..
when u apply, rub on ur hands and make it warm cause bb skin still very delicate.. after applying on tummy, try putting on bb's sole.. it works as well

i feed on demand.. not every bb can go on schedule..
i quote an example for u..
if u wake bb up at 9pm but bb not hungry and refuse to drink or drink half way slp again.. then naturally u wont wanna force them and lay them back on the bed.
after an hour, bb is hungry and wakes up for milk. u will feel like the schedule is all messed up

on the other hand, if bb can be fed on schedule (which is the best scenerio), u can plan everything u want. but.... if bb is gg thru growth spurt on some weeks, then how?
bb might wake up again every 1.5 hours or so for milk..

u need to be mentally prepared that even if bb is on schedule, u still need to standby for growth spurts etc... but theres no right or wrong to feed bb on schedule. it all depends on bb themselves if they are willing.
#1 is auto on schedule, sometimes off due to after jab fever, sleepy or growth spurts... but i still feed on demand.. only prob i face is myself.. i will think that schedule is messed up, i plan to go out at 330pm after i feed at 3pm but #1 refuse to drink enough and i start to worry about having to feed her again soon (outdoors).. ended up, i get moody and worried.. lol

#2, i will be sending her to sch, and sch will feed her every 2-3hourly, on routine basis.
 
Mumztan, are you placing your #2 in infant care?
yup, i had to.. gg back to work after cny
since #1 was born, im the sole caregiver. Hubby works retail and i refuse to let ILs take care of the kids cause i dont wan them to spoil the kids..
so i do my own confinement since #1.. :)

#1 went IFC too, so i guess its ok.. but meimei i gg to sch earlier than #1... so i feel a bit guilty
 
Hi mumztan, you really is one Wonder Woman to make everything work single-handedly.

I feel really incompetent and frustrated all the time just looking after my baby girl. Sighz
 
Hi mumztan, you really is one Wonder Woman to make everything work single-handedly.

I feel really incompetent and frustrated all the time just looking after my baby girl. Sighz
wah! dun say that!
im also a sotong sometimes.. i make mistakes too!
i remember when i first cut my #1 nails, i thought use normal adult cutter.. end up cut her skin.. she bled non stop and i had to dip into ice water! she was barely 2 mths..

no one taught me how to bathe bb, i watch you tube and learn den try myself one.. i almost made her slip into the tub.. haha
im not so super.. im just a learning mother.. but just a bit more daring to fail and learn.

i just went jurong point.. better than jem.. i managed to get some cny clothes for hub and went kiddy palace get some stuff...

tmr bb is due for jab liao.. hope she's not like jie jie.. #1 always kena fever after jabs..... :(
 
great! happy for u..
when u apply, rub on ur hands and make it warm cause bb skin still very delicate.. after applying on tummy, try putting on bb's sole.. it works as well

i feed on demand.. not every bb can go on schedule..
i quote an example for u..
if u wake bb up at 9pm but bb not hungry and refuse to drink or drink half way slp again.. then naturally u wont wanna force them and lay them back on the bed.
after an hour, bb is hungry and wakes up for milk. u will feel like the schedule is all messed up

on the other hand, if bb can be fed on schedule (which is the best scenerio), u can plan everything u want. but.... if bb is gg thru growth spurt on some weeks, then how?
bb might wake up again every 1.5 hours or so for milk..

u need to be mentally prepared that even if bb is on schedule, u still need to standby for growth spurts etc... but theres no right or wrong to feed bb on schedule. it all depends on bb themselves if they are willing.
#1 is auto on schedule, sometimes off due to after jab fever, sleepy or growth spurts... but i still feed on demand.. only prob i face is myself.. i will think that schedule is messed up, i plan to go out at 330pm after i feed at 3pm but #1 refuse to drink enough and i start to worry about having to feed her again soon (outdoors).. ended up, i get moody and worried.. lol

#2, i will be sending her to sch, and sch will feed her every 2-3hourly, on routine basis.

The main problem I hv with demand feeding is I can't tell when my bb is hungry. I don't know how to tell any obvious hunger cues. Observed and observed still don't see any cues.

So end up everytime j hv to check diaper, etc to determine if he's really hungry. By the time he will b in the screaming stage, quite stressful. Anyone has sans problem ?
 
The main problem I hv with demand feeding is I can't tell when my bb is hungry. I don't know how to tell any obvious hunger cues. Observed and observed still don't see any cues.

So end up everytime j hv to check diaper, etc to determine if he's really hungry. By the time he will b in the screaming stage, quite stressful. Anyone has sans problem ?

Rachel (my #2), she give short ngeh sounds when she needs just attention
if she stretch and grunt, she is trying to pass gas
and if she gives me a longer ngeh, i will take note if she keeps turning to the left or right and open mouth. if she roots, i will know she wants milk

now... what if she havent poo or anything, i will unswaddle her n latch her. she will poo in between feed. then when she latches for abt 10-15mins, i will unlatch and change her. then feed her again until shes half drowsy den put her down on the bed.

how i learnt?

i just let her scream while i sit in the kitchen.... gradually, u will notice the difference..

hope it helps!
 
Rachel (my #2), she give short ngeh sounds when she needs just attention
if she stretch and grunt, she is trying to pass gas
and if she gives me a longer ngeh, i will take note if she keeps turning to the left or right and open mouth. if she roots, i will know she wants milk

now... what if she havent poo or anything, i will unswaddle her n latch her. she will poo in between feed. then when she latches for abt 10-15mins, i will unlatch and change her. then feed her again until shes half drowsy den put her down on the bed.

how i learnt?

i just let her scream while i sit in the kitchen.... gradually, u will notice the difference..

hope it helps!

Thanks mumztan, I'll try to observe hard again. Do u vary the feed amt based on intervals between feeds ? Eg, if 3hrs feed 100ml but if 1.5hrs feed only 50ml ?
 
I will always make 120ml but i wont force her to finish if its a 1.5hr interval.

Because bb tummy very small, they take in small amt n digest fast..

So far, she manage to finish 80% at least if its 1.5hrs. Sometimes still have to latch her again..
 
I will always make 120ml but i wont force her to finish if its a 1.5hr interval.

Because bb tummy very small, they take in small amt n digest fast..

So far, she manage to finish 80% at least if its 1.5hrs. Sometimes still have to latch her again..

I feed my girl 120ml every 3.5 hrs, if she sleep in my arms or chest she can sometimes last as long as 4 hrs. Is that normal? But this is never the case at night when she sleep in her cot
 
I will always make 120ml but i wont force her to finish if its a 1.5hr interval.

Because bb tummy very small, they take in small amt n digest fast..

So far, she manage to finish 80% at least if its 1.5hrs. Sometimes still have to latch her again..

Oh so no matter whether it's been 3hrs or 1.5hrs, u will still give her the same amt ? The prob is I don't hv alot of BM so didn't want to waste too much of it. How old is ur daughter ?

Sorry for so many questions ! I hv another super noob one. When u say 120ml, is it formula or BM ? I'm a little confused over the formula measurement. Using similac now. Instruction is 60ml water to 1 scoop of powder. If i do 120ml of water with 2 scoops of powder, I end up with maybe 130ml of milk. So when u said 120ml, do u refer to the water or milk amt? Thanks vm!!
 


Lol.. we always take the volume of water as a measurement.. my 120ml is the amt of water

Hmm.. it all depends..
Im still latching bb.. but say if latch liao she is still crying after 1.5hrs, i will do half bm half fm. So that shes not bloated and end up spitting. Fm is to make her a little fuller to slp better

I normally feed full fm when i need to go.shopping with bb and last feed before she slp for a longer stretch.

After full fm, i bring her out, i can anticipate tat she wakes up after 2-3hrs so that i need not feed her urgently as compared to bm.

Because she slps longer at night, i feed fm so that she has something to churn in her tummy as i do not wake her up for feeds.

3 hr interval can feed fm but remember to pump. Try to divide ur ebm into 2 pkt.. example ebm 100ml, den store into 2 bags. So that u can feed half bm half fm if u r having shortage on ebm.

I do that so that i have enough time to replenish stock in the fridge.

Remember to keep pumping so that supply will increase n u need not worry abt stocks in ur fridge.

As for me, i had mastitis previously, so right now, im still trying to build up my supply..

No right or wrong on what u feed, jus make sure bb is full. Work with the pros n cons.. like for me, i make use of the fullness of fm to help me travel frm point a to b smoothly.

At home, with a fussy bb who wakes up every 1.5hr, i do half half to help bb get enuff slp and wake up happily.

Otherwise, i will latch bb fully.
 

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