(2013/11) November 2013

Whoa, really lots of postings after weekend
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Fuzzybear, do have lots of bed rest. Told u about my mil that she also had bleeding throughout 3rd pregnancy.Some more she was supposed to have twins, but miscarried one early on. Subsequently confined to bed rest for rest of the pregnancy due to bleeding, weak cervix, dunno what else. In the end her third kid is the healthiest and sportiest out of all her kids. And also the only one who eats his veg willingly lol.

Third3timemum n fuzzybear, congrats on the 80% girls! (so funny, 80% description) May both of u turn out like my mil who after taking care of three naughty boys went wild with my gal by tying all sorts of cute hairstyles whenever my gal was at my PIL's home. It was so funny to see my gal with normal hair in the morning, and cutesy hairstyles with clips and braids in the evening.

Regarding weight gain, I'm still at a net loss of 2-3 kg. So happy I can eat everything now, esp my stir fried Choy sum, but if I eat normal serving at one go, i'll feel like I stuffed myself at a buffet. sigh, back to small meals, and I think minimal weight gain.

My tummy also balloon every day. Morning look like 4 months pregnant, night look like 6months pregnant. Even my friends who are each both two time mothers saw me on Sun and thought I looked big for four months............ Great thing was on Sun on the MRT, a young chap offered me his seat the moment he saw me. Poor chap was really playing with his iPhone, didnt see me for a few min, looked up and immediately apologized for not noticing me. Ok la, still got hope among some young ppl.

Fuzzybear, I same like u leh, first pregnancy I already had net weight gain by 2nd trimester, now haven't even hit pre-preg weight. Yet my tummy looks waaaaaaaaaay bigger now than my #1 pregnancy at same time period.
 


fuzzybear, really admire your work environment.

was on mc last wed and thurs, my third time taking 2 days mc..
yesterday took one day leave to rest more as suggested by my gyane cos of low amniotic fluid then today HR mgr spoke to me, of cos they put it in a way that my boss is concerned about my health and she know it's very stressful here so they want to speak to me to see if I can cope with my current work and give me a choice to give up one of the biggest account i'm currently handling..as boss also feels it's not fair to mty colleagues when they have to handle my work while I am on mc...and they can't afford to risk the account being jeopardized.

at the same time ask if I have any intention to rest more at home..
I read it as they actually want to find out if I want to take no pay leave or even resigning so I can stay home and rest more for the baby...

now i'm thinking should I negotiate if I resign now but company stay pay me 4 months maternity, will it be hard to even get a temp/ contract job since we are pregnant now?
 
Fuzzy Bear, I don dare to take leave. If I take, if my boss not happy then how? I just try not to walk too much and sit in office loh. Just don want to get fire b4 delivery and lugi my 4 mths of ML. U heard of steam pear with chuan bei, nan/bei xin? I went Fu hua to enquire yest and she told me preg is safe to drink.Cos my son having cough for 3 weeks and still not fully recover. so I brew that for him and is slightly better. I still brew today for him.Regarding ur spotting, did u go back to gynae?
I start to take red date with longan one per week to replenish the blood I have lost. Im not sure if u want to try. keep bleeding will make u weaker.
 
Silver, think it's tough to compensate u 4 mths ML. Cos 2 mths from company and 2 month from MOM.I also v worry I get fire due to my HL. So no matter what, I try to remote access to work from home. Try to clear email everyday. But no matter how I perform, due to pregenancy,already blacklist by boss. I have to endure till ML is over then plan for the the nxt job. I just feel that woman lose out when preg
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silver, i dun think companies will be willing to still pay u 4mths salary if u resign now, unless they are the ones asking u to leave. usually company's stand is y shld they pay u 4mths more since u're resigning on ur own accord.

not sure wat's the chances to get a temp/contract job when we are preg, cos employers are also liable to give contract employees maternity benefits. employers may be worried tt u need to be often away for checkups, or if u deliver early while still in contract with the company, then they have to pay u maternity benefits, etc.

if this income is essential for u, then just stick to the job 1st, n if there's any discrimination issues, report to MOM. u're on legitimate mc, i think there's nothing wrong that u're using ur entitlement.
 
snake_bb, if ur company fires u now, they still need to pay u the 4mths of maternity leave. but of cos u will lose out income from now till nov if tt really happens lah..
 
Silver, if u quit, the company is not obliged to pay u a single cent of ML. u also cannot claim from govt as u have not filed income tax showing that u are self employed.

What i would do in ur shoes is to renegotiate to work may be 3 days a week OR to work full time but with one day from home. I do understand where they are coming from cos ultimately work needs to be done. I won't advice for u to quit.. 4 mths paid maternity leave can be a lifesaver for doc's expenses for both u and ur baby. u also don't have to reveal that u want to quit aft ML ok? just continue to show commitment.

Snake_bb, completely understand ur predicament. although my boss say i can work from home, in the long run how do they justify that the work i m doing from home is the same as my cols working in the office? and then there are some work that has to be done in the office.. meetings have to attend.. in the end ppl will still talk, compare and complain.

If ur coy fire u, they have to pay u ML so long u work more than 180 days with them.
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so i think u are safe with them.

As for me, my boss just asked me if i am willing to take no pay leave. I flatly say no.. i will find a way to get my salary. I need the cash in case of more pregnancy complications, including delivering a premmie baby.

Ankh, ya u told me abt ur MIL. u seem to have a gd relationship with ur MIL! very gd (and rare)! haha..
 
Fuzzybear, good r/s with mil cos not staying together la. As a mil, she's absolutely a treasure, but stay together sure will have friction.
 
Silver: honestly it's quite difficult to get temp job or event part time unless you have friends who have lobang to recommend you.. I started looking for jobs even when I was like 5 weeks pregnant... But the moment I tell the agent/company that I m pregnant.. Totally no news.. Got so dishearted that now when agent call me for 3 months contract I will tell them directly that the company wun hire me because I m pregnant.. N true enough no news since then... If you can stay on try n explain to your manager or HR.. They have no right to "force" you leave because they know you going for 4 months maternity leave...

Have any mummies encounter pain in the lower part of the tummy? I experience twice today.. Duno is it because I ate to spicy n my bb kick me to scold me.... -.-
 
Hello mummies...

haven't joined in the chat cos busy entertaining #1. Really wonder how i can handle 2!

On bump - I'm actually quite embarassed abt the size of mine though i know I absolutely shldn't be.. but i really look like i'm 25 weeks instead of 17weeks! Even my part-time helper thought i was going to deliver in Sept when she finally cannot tahan and asked me last wk if i was preggy. I guess the upside is that most days i get people scrambling to give up a seat on the train for me now
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Downside is that I'm in a wardrobe crisis most days cos I realised i don't have much maternity clothes from #1 days.. Hubby helpfully reminded me that i didn't start showing much till 6 mths last time so i didn't too much maternity clothes then.

Work concerns - Jia you for those facing problems with unsympathetic colleagues and bosses! I'm lucky in the sense that my immediate bosses are mums with kids so they understand when i need to take urgent leave and all.. but they also set the bar really high in terms of work ethic so there's no slacking off and work still gets delivered.. so bo bian.. hah, explains why i'm still clearing mails at this hour... back to work now
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Good morning mummies!

I work in a mostly-male environment but I'm lucky as most of my colleagues and my immediate boss have young kids and they are the quite hands-on type so they understand when I need to go off early or take emergency leave. However, I did tone down quite a bit after having #1 and no longer work such long hours... family is still most important I feel
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On childcare options, I haven't really discussed this issue with my parents and in laws. For #1, they took turns taking care of her on alternate days until she was 20mths and went to full day childcare, but that was 4 years ago, now health-wise they are not as good as before. Now we are considering either infantcare or me taking no-pay leave after my maternity leave ends... wonder if I will go crazy if I don't work though lol
 
Belinda: there are still companies who will hire preg lady on contract basis.. but just gotta try very hard.. my co do hire preg lady on contract basis.. we juz hired one who's about 6mths preggy now for the marcom dept..and another just got confirmed after coming back from her maternity leave..
 
MIL, my mil have been helping to look after my #1 from birth till now. and with #2 coming, im planning to let her look after too. me and hub is considering if we should move in with her. i stay in Kovan and my mil stays in Jurong. so everyday we will travel to and fro. plus me and hub work in the west. my gal attending kindy near my mil place.

haiz... like what ankh staying together sure got friction one. should i move in with her?
 
morning mummies! link to motherhood expo 2013, there are some promos on this fb. those interested can take a look...

https://www.facebook.com/#!/events/246772035464024/

pls copy n paste the whole link, realised that the url link is cut off halfway if u click directly on it.
 
mummies who have issues with their bosses/co.s - can MOM do anything abt it? it's so discouraging to hear what's been happening. the govt can talk abt increasing birth rates and all, but the reality is that many pregnant ladies are still discriminated.

mummychua, are you the type that can close one eye when MIL does things that you do not agree with? if can, then probably move together may be more convenient for you and hubby. although my personal pref is also to not stay with MIL. always easy to meet occasionally but definitely difficult to stay together.
 
aiyoh winkle go home see! or view on hp during lunch time. hehe..

mummychua: kovan n jurong super far leh! makes sense to move to jurong, but i understand ur concerns abt staying with mil..
 
xuan: i tried viewing on hp.. cannot.. when i keyed in the link.. it jump straight to my home page.. duhzz.. i try again later! im going down the fair tmr...hehehe..
 
i want to go tmr to see see look look also leh.. but dun think my hub want to bring me there twice (as in go again during wkend). =( winkle pls share if u see any good deals/buys! i itching to shop already.. hahaha...
 
thank you for all the advices.
ya i'm aware that company is not liable to pay you ML if you resign.

so die die must very thick skin stick around here unless they choose to terminate me.

my direct boss is also the owner of the company, she's not stupid she knows if she terminate me she still have to pay maternity and things will reflect badly on the company image..
so she got HR and PA to psycho me to convert to admin role and perhaps part time basis so I can 'rest' more better for baby..but at same time take a huge pay cut..
i'm not dumb loh they reduce my pay by 50% means during maternity I also getting less 50% from what i'm getting now...

i'm gona stick to my stand, I don't mind changing to a more relaxed role of cos if pay package and all remains the same. which my boss will definitely not agree.

so she's doing her best to pull stunt and makes me feel like an invalid here now. she did this stunt to 'force' my previous direct boss to resign on her own before...

and really sad to see discrimination against pregnant ladies still adamant in the working society...or is that so especially with SMES or locally owned companies?
 
mawanab, actually im quite happy to let my mil take care of my kids. she is alot more patience than me. she can talk to my #1 non-stop even when she doesn't reply her or say nonsense stuff. i cannot compare with her when it comes to childcare. although there are things im not happy with her. but i normally wont tell her directly unless its just a small issue. most problems goes thru hub. that too means that i dont talk much with my mil. we maintain a polite distance. that's why im not sure if this arrangement will still work if i will to move in with her.

xuan, to make it worse, im the driver in my house not my hub. so everyday i will spend at 45min-1.15hr each trip driving while hub enjoy his breakfast, read newspaper or check email.
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silver, i think you can complain to MOM n see what they advise. At least bring this up to their notice. So in case if they really fire u in future n refuse to ur ML, you have a stronger case with witness.

"If employer terminates the employment of a pregnant employee within six months from the date of estimated delivery or the date of her confinement without sufficient cause, the employer is required to pay the employee maternity benefits she would have otherwise been eligible for. "

http://www.mom.gov.sg/employment-practices/leave-and-holidays/Pages/maternity-leave.aspx#obligations

The keyword is "without sufficient cause". If they make it seem that you are shirking your duty, they might be able to get away with it. So i think you should seek MOM's help to see if what they are doing is legit. then you can come up with a counter strategy.
 
actually preg employees are now protected thru out their whole pregnancy, not just within 6mths from edd.

i agree to just call MOM and enquire if wat ur company did (hinting, paycut etc) is considered discrimination. they record all calls n enquiries, so hopefully that can help as ur "proof" if 1 day things really turn ugly with ur employer.
 
mummychua, you sound like you are easygoing. in that case, it makes a lot of sense to move! all that time spent on the road can be better used.

silver, if not MOM, can try your MP? he needs your vote. he should listen to your concerns. or write to the Forum page?
 
Mummychua, still have to consider which pri school(s) your kids will be attending in future. If all your kids can attend a school near your mil's place, it makes sense to shift in with your mil, or at least nearby. Since you'll be working, you won't be with your mil 24/7. Hopefully just focus conversations on the kids.
 
hallo mummies,

silver, hmmm, unless there is specific evidence that yr employer is going to fire you, I would advise to refrain from going to MOM now because MOM will contact the employer to chat and if its a misunderstanding, then it will make things awkward/ugly between your employer and you. Not worth to do it unless you are prepared to throw letter anytime.

haiz, much as i sympathize with those who have unfortunate conditions during pregnancy, i also sympathize the employers. i have a Malay staff who was pregnant last year and only worked like 3 out of 9 mths of her pregnancy coz she had to constantly go on MC and HL as she was always vomitting, giddy, fainting etc. i got her to go home as and when she was unwell but it demoralized the rest of my team members who had to cover her work and forgo their leave at times. i also sought HR's approval for her to start ML earlier so that she can rest at home. and .... she just got pregnant again and her unfortunate symptoms are starting all over again. Now we are worried how to overcome the challenges again one more time this year.
 
littleprince, actually no harm just enquiring with the helpline MOM pple. unless u file an official report against ur employer then they will investigate into it n contact ur employer...
 
Wrinkle: that's nice of your coy..l hair I tried for 4 months still can't find.. Even with the part time lobang my friend recommend I didn't receive any reply from them..
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Re: concert
I think I saw one of the mummy going concert? I think should be fine ba.. Haha I also going.. Going to rock concert some more... :p
 
ankh, actually hub suggested to stay at her place for the 1st 1 or 2yrs. hopefully by then we will be able to afford another place near to a good neighbourhood sch. but it sounds like we are taking advantage of her.

littleprince, actually i agree with you. i work for a small biz. during my previous ml my colleague almost 'died' from my workload. its going to be worst this time round as my supporting staff is of substandard, poor sme cannot find or afford quality ppl. dont know how my boss and colleague is going to cope this time round.

having say that, i must too say that im very dishearten to hear all the discrimination mummies face in the workforce. that's why im still sticking to my current employment despite zero progression coz my boss is very chin cai, allowing me to balance work and family.
 
Dear mummies,

Am letting go of the following:

1. BN Bebitza Breastfedding Blanket: $45
2. BN Dumex Nursing Cover: $8
3. BN Annakku Napkin Liners : $7
4. MIM Slings :$20
5. Avent Storage Bottles, 125ml :$2.50
6. Evenflo Storage Bottles, 120ml: $1.20
7. Pigeon Fridge To Go Cooler Bag (w ice packs): $40
8. ELC lights and sound buggy driver stroller toy: $30
9. Very New! Lucky Baby flower bear playmat: $40
10. Avent Breast Shells (6pcs)/ Nipple Shield: $10

Collect at Buangkok MRT. Kindly msg me (not WA) me at 98158556 if keen and let me know your best offer.
 
Heya mommies! the cold i caught my last week degenerated into sinus infection. i think that's why my jaw hurts cos whenever i clear my nose, the pain will shoot down to my jaw.. took some cold meds and ended up being so woozy.. cannot function well at all.

About being pregnant and juggling our careers, i can only say tahan as much as u can for now until ur baby pop. ignore whatever insinuations ppl make. just do the very best u can. at this point, i personally feel having a job is secondary to me and my baby's health. I do whatever i can, to my best of my ability. if ppl comment i just ignore lor. i tell myself once baby is out, i can go back to my previous work ethics.

Silver, may be u drop ur big account but still work full time? like that u also not so stress and they have no reason to cut ur pay. tell them u will manage the smaller accounts first. may be swop with ur cols and take on their smaller accounts? would that be better?

I do agree the SMEs have it hard. on one hand govt wants us to up productivity, yet want us to up birth rates, the 2 don't go hand in hand. SMEs cash flows usually very tight. I don't blame them if they try to maximise all the staff they have on board. haizzz.. my hb runs his own biz and he pointblank says he won't hire women that have recently married or want to have more kids. he said govt does not even give SMEs money to get replacements for 4 mths. for some, that amount could make or break their biz.

Mummychua, how abt buying a flat near ur in-laws? i die die won't want to stay with my in laws!! seeing them occasionally is fine but to live with them 24/7 will drive me nuts. plus the flat is not urs, anything you do also need to seek their ok. they also have their own living habits which u might not have noticed.. small things like these can grate on u and ruin the cordial r/s u have now.
 
Mummychua, can always rent first. Next year my hub n I gonna rent out our own home and rent another place near to my gal's school. Worthwhile for us since it's at least one hour travel time to her school. Erm, u can read about address applicability wrt P1 registration at kiasuparents.com.

Fuzzybear, thought SMEs also get the payout from gov't during a woman's ML? Cos I used to work for SME, and I remember my accounts chasing me for my ML starting date. Don't tell me the rules change within last few years.
 
hi ladies...i m in korea now.. reading the post.. was sharing with my hubby on the discussions abive.. he told me his colleague's wife also suffer similar plight..but worse because she had mcs thru her first trimester.. company force her to leave after so many mcs..and made her sign paper that she willing to resign on her own...but when she realize that was not righr. brought up to mom already too late because she sign on the paper under duress
 
so silver, good that u are clear minded and dont fall into the stunts ur boss is playing...although SME have resources issue but thats not the right way to treat employees with dirty tricks.
 
Winkle: oh hahhaa I m going to mayday concert... Bought their tickets wayyyyyy before I know I pregnant.. No way I will give up... :p
 
Third3timemum,
No worries =) i v kiasi so wldnt drink in 1st tri =p
No way to prevent jaundice la. Just curious, is ur blood grp the same as both ur kids?

At 17w, net gain is 3.5kg! *gasp* but gd thing is i am still under 50kg *phew* i hope to gain slowly coz last tri will gain even more!! I gained 20kg for #1 and abt 9-10kg for #2. Its so much easier to slim dwn aft #2 than #1. But the diff between the size of #1 n #2 is v huge!! A kg diff.

Xuan,
Agree with u, prefer tummy nt to be too big else backache easily. Slp also cant slp well. N tummy stretch too much later got orange skin!
Ur co cant fire u coz u take hl/mc. But they can find reasons to say u nt performing up to standard etc. but if they really do fire u, its a long process to fight for ur ml. In my #2 batch 1 of the mummy was fired and she filed a complain with MOM. MOM helped to initiate communication n be middle man but it really took a longggg time before the issue gets addressed.

Silver,
Glad tat u have make ur stand. 4mths sal is nt a small sum. If u can just bear with it and do ur best. Dun let them make u feel u r nt doing ur job well. Make plans to resign or change job aft ur ml if u really wan. Its really nt easy to get jobs when u are preg. 

Arissa,
Hows ur korea trip? =)

Xiao ber,
Have fun rocking at mayday concert =) who knows ur baby will be rocking inside too. Hehe.
 
Mummychua: maybe just my two cents worth.. I have been staying with my in laws since marriage.. It can be difficult at times especially on different living standards.. I took sometime to adapt n get used to it... actually until now For almost two years i still not used to some of their living habits but I believe some of my habits they also can't stand.. Cos I abit cleanliness freak.. That's the thing that both parties have to give n take in living together.. Good thing is at least I know my bb will have someone to help me look after.. So as much as I really want to have my own house, me n my hubby are discussing on the pros n cons...
Maybe you try n stay over for a weekend n see how it goes? Try a few times first to see if really can adapt n stay together.. It's a big knowledge to stay with in laws I feel..
 
val,mawanab..my korea trip was ok been raining the past few days..so our shopping and sightseeing was limited..but we did manage to shop our shoes,clothes (i had limitations due to my pregnancy
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) and cosmetics and had tons of good food! they have alot of cute shoes for babies and toddlers also! i didn't buy them but will definitely revisit next year to buy my heelsss and my sexy korean coperate wear!
 
Arissa: reading your post makes me wanna go for holiday~~~~~~~~ i havent been to Korea,did plan but ended up in Japan..lolz.. but my ah bang went last year..he bought like 100++ pcs of face masks and eye masks for me..he said it was dirt cheap! until now i still left with 80% of the total masks he bought.. and the Face Shop cleanser and make up remover.. only $5-$8 per tube!! whereas they are selling like $24.90 or so in SG! wahh!!

but with baby i think will have difficulties going overseas liaoz....

Re: staying with in laws
i dont have experience with staying tog with in laws because we bought our 1st flat right after our ROM..but before we got married i did stay over on some weekends..and... hahaha.. i buay tahan!!!!! so after we got our own place we will visit them once a week for dinner...hehehe..

Lin Xiao Ber: don rock too vigorously at the concert hor! =p.. i'll try to be gentle during Jay Chou's concert too!
 
Val: you are so slim after 2 kids! haha.. i dreamt that i put on 6KG last night!! lolz!

re: working and preg at the same time
i really think it's not easy for working preggers...haizz.. that's y i always tell myself i'm strong when i feel like grumbling or feeling emo at work..

especially when one of my male coll commented that i looked shag / haggard and lines are forming around my eyes already.. and he said his wife still look the same.. super pissed off!
 
i'm on mc today.. so tempted to go the mothercare expo today instead of waiting till wkend! but my hub not free to go with me today... haiz...
 

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