Baby Lang,
I m very sorry to learnt your current grief.
Like what starts tasty say, it's ok to cry ur heart out. This is not your fault, the child is just not to meant yours.
I had similar experiences in my first trimester, my ex gynae at mt Elizabeth told me my bb wanting to come out. I ask him why?? He told me only God knows. There are sometimes no answers to the things happened. He told me if bb if good, then will stay. If not good, it will leave go. I was devastated in on 5 weeks complete bed rest.
if your religion is Catholic or Christian, you can offer mass for your little one. If your religion is Buddha, u can offer gong de.
Although I m now in week 21, but I can't forget what happened to me in first trimester, remember, this is not your fault. maybe the child just not to meant yours. Lift everything up to God. I will pray for you to be strong, to be able to get over this grief. You must take good care of yourself, whatever happened has happened. Please do a confinement too.
will always pray for you to Jesus. and, we are all here for you.
may God bless you with strength and faithfulness, and may your little one rest in peace with God's grace. In Jesus name we pray, Amen.