(2012/08) Aug 2012

Hi AG, did you communicate with your maid before she came over that she will be at 2 household?

we confirmed our helper abt 2 weeks ago, and we had 2 calls with her before confirming her. we told her her exact scope, and we did mention in the day she will be going to my granny house. and at my granny house, her main chore is help my grandma while my grandma take care of bb. and she will need to help out a little with household chore, and learn cooking from my granny ( she likes cooking)

but we also make it very clear that after she gets home from granny place, we dont expect her to clean our house till late, maybe an hour general cleaning (wash plates, prepare bb bottle etc). she will only clean my house on weekends.

we asked her 2 times to ensure she is ok, and in the agent form we signed, it is indicated in the day she will go to grandma house.
 


Ling: This is a grey area, and sad to say ppl can change, they will agree to almost everything so that they can come over here to work. But once they are here, we cannot stop them from making complaints. The agent form is not a lawful document and it is still illegal for a maid to work at 2 places. So if the maid decides to complain against you, make sure you have sufficient evidence to back yourself up.
 
yah, i figure that. but we have to take the risk, just that we shld do our due diligence to inform the helper before she comes over. if she doesnt agree to when she is here, then no choice change maid.

First time i am having a maid, so i am also a bit nervous what's the income. i however agree that it is a lot of luck as well.
 
got maid got good got bad. i agree with the cannot monitor n it takes just seconds nt even minutes for things to happen. hai.. nw really got to sit down n discuss with hub. he ok with both options actually. but he is worrying bb health in the infant care. his plan is putting bb in childcare whn he rches 18mths. v v fan~~```~```
 
ling, I did let them know that they have to do my mum place before hiring them. whatever we tell them prior is no use, they can still use it against us. whatever they agree even if we get them to sign also no use cos law stays they cant work at 2 places. if they are not happy and they complain, we will get it. even my 3rd maid, we told her no off-day and hp before hiring her, after 6 months, she requested off day also must give and hp she bought it without telling us.
 
ling, usually they will agree to all terms that you state when they want to come over. but a lot of request will come once they cleared their debts after 6 mths. you can choose not to give her but u never know what she will do to your family. in fact I see it happening to all my friends maid too. those maids who dont go out are usually indo and very quiet ones cos they dont dare to go out which also means that they may not be that good to follow instructions but of cos some ppl are so lucky to get good ones.
with maids also a lot of headaches cos we have to manage them. like my maid today request to go out a while to give cousin $$ cos cousin husband hospitalized. went out at 10am and not back yet. sms her and demand her to be back by 430, else no need to cok dinner liao. let her go out a while, she take advantage and went for half a day...see lah how to be nice to them.
 
rykiel, if u planning to leave maid alone with your bb, I wouldnt recommend it. never trust maid cos you never know what they do to your darling. they can be so nice to ur bb in front of you but once we are not around, things will change. its too much of a risk I think.
 
<font color="red"><font size="+0">AG</font></font>: headache lor. hais. really got alot of planning n thinking to do this weekends!!!
 
JC,
welcome
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AG,
i agree cannot leave baby alone with maid
even with CCTV, i have heard too much horror stories!
the recent case, the boy died after the maid left him alone at home...super sad and unfortunate
 
hmz i think with cctv at least its a deterrrant lor .. the maid will still think twice but cctv better get recordable kind not the ip cam which are usually non recordable so you can at least see what goes on lor when you home .. but still must spot checks as and when unexpectedly .. and during the maternity leave think can see how the maid handle the baby and i told my mum if cannot i will bring maid and bb over daily and back until at least i got infant care lor .. just put on waitlist nia hopefully will get place if i need lor .. and at night bring back to my mum place if work late (that will be w/o maid already if she cant cope) .. see how things goes ..
 
for short hours of non supervision think cctv can at least deter enough bah .. but must occasionally frequently spot checks ..
 
anyway for the boy's issue i hope we all have window grilles which are locked .. my grilles are all locked and keys kept by me only ..
 
ayukie, how about kitchen grilles?We can't possibly lock it and then cannot hang clothes rite? Maids usually don't use their brains n won't care like our family members. It's not their kids after all. I hear these maid abusing kids stories so scary. My hb don't even allow me to leave my boy alone with maid even for few hours till now he is 3yo.
 
alamak.. then i got to go on sat.. thanks ya.. was intending to go on Sun. >__< cos my place is near to bugis.. i intend to grab the few stuffs that is needed then i can stop the shopping liao. haha!
 
TGIF!!!

ya, i think its always better to have an elderly at home to 'hawk' over the maid.. but i dont have that luxury, thus, have to take care of my number one alone.. so far, i think still ok.. so hopefully, she will also be nice to number 2 ba
 
ag - i lock my kitchen actually service yard grilles actually cause my grilles the hand can still go through the hang clothes but mine is the hang clothes hang indoors one lah only mainly her clothes and rags hand outside (non bamboo poles kind) so still ok leh .. i nvr open for her she still manage to do it haha ..
 
anyway i think my boy abuse my maid haha when she is blocking his way he push her out of his way haha .. but then he also does that to us haha
 
hello!

Anyone experience weak legs? My legs have been very weak since weeks ago n my legs aches after climbing a fleet of stairs, like going up an overhead bridge n i will pant n legs aches.. not sure if its just me or what..
 
kitchen grilles,
I think can train maid to close and lock it after opening to hang clothes. That's is what I'm doing now. Besides bb, I also risk my furkids doing superman stunts if the grilles are left open.

Kitty: It's not unusual with our growing belly. I don't really have weak legs but my ankle joints will suddenly become "loose" and makes a lot of popping sounds when walking, not to mention painful too.
 
me me ! im jellyfish legs, i cant walk too long~ feel frail backache. have to sit down. sddnli feel the leg like gg numb.
 
Hihi mummies, can u kindly tell me the exact location of tat shop in bugis which sells cheap baby stuff cos I cannot find it
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Izzit near to OG or bencoolen plaza?

Thank u so much
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Hi mommies.
I'm 21wks along with bb no.2.. I'm experiencing numbness not only on the legs but hands as well! Having super itchy rashes at random parts of the body and also heartburn which is super unbearable.. Which all the above are not experienced in my first pregnancy at all~

Does any mommies here have heartburn problem? And what to do with those rashes which i stopped all kinda of moisturisers / stretchmarks creams worried that it'll trigger it further.. Is there a good remedy for these at all?
 
Hi coco, u can try taking gaviscon for ur heartburn, as according to my gynae it is a medi for pregnant woman like us. It's a gastric medi for indigestion and heartburn. U can get it at watson. The reason for heartburn might be cos by indigestion. Is our organ was being push aside due to bb grow. As for the rashes, it is due to our skin and sense are getting more sensitive so might react to some other things that we dun use to have. Try keeping urself clean and light on the lotion. U can try some bb powder or the prickly heat powder from Thai if I am correct. As it reduce heat and itchness for me. If the rashes get worse pls go c a doc. It will be safer. Hope it help.
 
Thx Nutty!~ I'll go grab some later..

BBL ~ did u see a doc? I read that all this rashes will be gone aft giving birth.. Idk how true though.. Coz I have a history of ezyma so I make use of antihistamine (doc's prescription and bb safe) whenever the itch is unbearable esp in the night till cannot sleep!

Any mommies here has itchy eyes problem? My eyes are forever so itchy and it's been 2 years now since I gave birth to my boy.. It'll be so sore n red and ESP itchy in the night! Not just the eyes but the lids and skin ard.. I do have friends who shared that it's coz our body is heaty aft confinement and it'll only get worse~ I've seen doc n specialist but nothing helps.. Any remedy for that?

Lolx I sound so problematic but WTD?!
 
Coco u r most welcome.

Sigh.... My hb still put his family in the most important place then me &amp; bb. Yesterday, when to update our bank book account then realize he never input a single cent for one whole year. But he can still give his mum a monthly allowance of $400 to $500. I was not asking for much only a little some of money every month for this bb acct which I tell him those $ is not for me but for bb. Yet he keep telling me he got put in the end not only he never and still lying through his teeth. I was very upset and have lost sense of trust and security. As I won't be working after giving birth, which mean not income aldy. If he is unable to do so in normal time how to imaging after I give birth. How me and bb survive without $. Everyday need to eat and spend even if I dun go out. But he just dun c the point. He claim the most he go market everyday to buy foods for me to cook and that all. Life will be hard for me after this. Can't work due no one look after bb, can't imaging no income. Now, really lost and sad.
 
Hazel,
Hugs!! Perhaps is a misunderstanding, maybe he opened a separate account and has been depositing ? U decided to be sahm ? Tot u will be asking your mum to help take care bb with maid help....there is still time to discuss options with your hb, cheer up and look on the bright side
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I finally bought some baby clothes from the Bugis shop and from OG..
Saffy:the shop is at the row of shophouse directly opp the guanyin temple; where they sell those dried goods, the left most corner shop just in front of the toilet.. just beside is the road then the hawker centre building across the small road..
the shop was empty when I went yesterday morning.. so the girl had time to entertain me n I bought long and short sleeve tops, long pants, shorts, mittens n booties set and a set of towels.. costed me $71.. quite cheap since it's 12 sets of clothings, 4 mittens/booties set n 3 towels.. but my hubby start to complain liao... =(
the salesgirl told me the clothes for 0-4 mths, but when i compared the size with other clothes I bought, it's similar to those 6 - 12 mths one lor.. the difference between the different sizes not really a lot, but I wonder if she gave me the wrong sizes or all their clothes is those size?? so I think I better prepare some newborn n smaller sized clothing in case the clothes are way too big...
OG having sales now too, they've got some clothings 3 for $10, also have 2 for $7.90/ $9.90 ones, and most apparels have 20% off regular price, including Fox and some other brands... so can go take a look..
 
Hazel: don't be upset.. Find a time and make him sit down to have a heart to heart talk. Work out your finances together. In SG, it's quite hard to be a sahm as cost of living is so high. And being dependent on hubby every time can be pretty depressing. Maybe u can work part time instead? Taking care of bb talk to your mum, think half a day won't be too much for her. Regarding ur hubby giving money to his family, i think u just have to make sure that there's still money for own family after whatever money he give to his family. Don't be too restrictive on him or he will start to get irritated. Men are like that. Different ppl have diff way of handling finances, find one that works for u. For me, my hubby lets me be the CFO amd i have access to all his bank acct n money (he has access to mine as well but he choose not to access), so every month i'll do the bills (cos he lazy) and decide how much money i'll take frm his acct (of cos he will "audit"). We are free to buy anythinh ourseleves as long as below $100 else we always discuss.
 
Given my character, hard to be a sahm for long think abt 6 mths the most 8 mths I will go crazy aldy. But my parents said can't really take care my bb for long period of time &amp; I scare of my MIL to take care. So quite lost now, then come to think no income &amp; hb didn't give me any security in finance side it really freak me out. The feeling of having to worry abt everyday expense really very stressful and tiring.
 
Coco, have u try the medi yet. Is it of any use to u?

BTW, may I kw who is going to use sweetest moment as their full month package. Now really need to work out all budget and let my hb kw in order to ensure everything within the budget. So scare later he tell me over spent and have no money for me and bb after delivery. Think I will break down and go crazy by then.
 
Starfantasy I have tell my hb long time ago that it up to him that how much he wan to give his mum as long as he got put aside like every month $100 into the bb acct can aldy and one year only $1200 I didn't even include his bonus month which I think it not too much to ask. I have check and rem him 2 or 3 times last few time and every time he tell me he got. Even when we are at bank yesterday he still insist he got. In the end, result just show he is just lying through his teeth. He only deposite when I force him to do so yesterday. How to trust that he will have no prob in providing for me and bb later during my sahm period. Although my friends has been telling me dun worry too much now, as it not good to me and bb but I really can't help it.
 
Hazel: understand the stress on finance. Actually i don think it's good to be sahm for long cos long time no contact with the society will likely turn into "yellow face wife", not to mention it would be hard to go bk working in the future when ur kid don need that much attention. Maybe for the 1st 6-8 mths can be full time sahm then work part time while putting bb into infant care. By then it would be good to let bb interact with pther kids le. I also intend to put mine into infant care ard 8 months.. Let ur hubby know this is the best arrangment for u both since u don want anything to happen to bb if ur mil were to take care and strain the relationship. If he said bb will be fine, ask him if how he can gurantee that and what he will do if something really happen. Then abt the money for bb, not sure if u do contribute too but if u do, then every month when u going to deposit money in, ask for his share as well, say something like "tml i gg to put money into our bb acct, give me ur share and i'll deposit together". If he's the only one contributing, he might feel that he's doing it alone like he's the only one taking care of bb finance which might make him reluctant (men sometimes are like big kids, they r more likely to follow if u start first). Ask him if this is true (men also like to keep their true feelings to themselves until u pry it from their mouth) and talk abt it. Then don be afraid to ask him to give u the money to put in bb acct in cash every month.
 
Hazel nutty,
I choose to hire a maid to look after bb with CCTV installed so I can work full time.
We started saving for little one when we started our family planning. My hubby only gives his mum $250 and when convert to rm, it will be like rm600 already.
Maybe u send ur kid to infant care or nanny, u can consider other options. When have own income, u can buy anything for baby. Even my hubbys salary is doubled than mine, but I still think that it would be insufficient to maintain a lifestyle even we have no car.n
 
I think giving his mum money is legitimate lah, $400-500 a month is not a lot to ask for. Is he the only son? Singapore is quite costly and old people can't really work n earn income.

I think your husband is quite filial so dont be depressed over a good thing. It is not as if he is spending the money on other woman. We will also grow old next time and hope our son will treat us the same way we care for them when they are young.
 
What I mean is that you can nag at him abt nt putting in $$ into the baby account that is definitely his wrong but I w not put keep harping on the mum's allowance thingy especially nt in his face. That will make him dismiss u as being petty or worse, unconcerned abt his parents or other negative things.
 
LouiseLS, I never pin point him for giving $ to his mum. I just want him to spare a tot for both me and bb. I only tell him he should be old enough to kw wat to do and dun need me to teach him.

Starfantasy &amp; yanlin, thank you for the advice. I will have a talk with him again. I have give him till end of the month to give me a details update on the future plan. And by end of year to put back wat he hasn't been putting back into the hb acct. of cos I will contribute at my end if I am able to.
 
Hazel,
Maybe u talk to ur husband again. Tell him to contribute a certain percentage to the account. This will helps. Or sign up for a plan.
 
ya loh think most guys are always like that, always expect to be taught this &amp; that. Their excuse is always "i dun know" as if like that, they don't have to do it. super sian sometimes.
 
Hi mummies, I'm a first time mom here. As everyone is discussing about infant care solution, does anyone happen to have recommendation on infant care centre that's ard boon keng / whampoa area?
 
Louise: Ya, some men are like big kids sometimes, so you don't know if that person is your husband or another kid you have to care for..hahaha. But communication is always the key, never assume that he knows what you are thinking.

Bee Ling: I stay at whampoa area and I know there are 2 infant/child care center, 1 is at blk 113/114 whampoa road and another is at blk 29 jalan berhagia (vegetarian). Both are non aircon. The one at whampoaI have seen the caregivers, mainly are aunties kind, previously I saw like mainly indians but now got see some chinese ones. Do u or your husband work? If yes cna see if your company have any child/infant care centers? If have it's better than putting bb at one near home cos the workplace child/infant care caters more to the working hours, you won't be rushing every morning and evening to send and pick up bb.
 
Hi starfantasy, my hb and I do not work near each other. He works at Changi Business Park and I work in Tg Pagar. If we place baby in infant care near my HB's workplace it's going to be quite tedious for me to pick our baby up if he works late. Likewise if we place our baby at infant care near my workplace.

The infant care at Blk 114 is the centre that is closest to my home ... but I am not sure of the quality and can't seem to find any reviews on it =(
 
Hi Nutty,
I managed to get gaviscon ytd but havent had the chance to take it yet.. Heartburn only happen if I'm greedy pig n eat too late bef bed.

Sorry to hear that u r getting upset w/ ur hubby.. Erm I'm also sahm with a 2 yo boy.. When I was pregnant so was the 'whole world' haha including my sil n my Sis so both mil n mom r occupied by the time I give birth.. I used to have quite a well paid job but have to give up coz there's really no one avail n both my hb n me super anti childcare.. Haha initially my hb doesn't give me allowance coz he comes up for everything from marketing to house necessities to everything.. But later on I feel insecured that everytime I need hang out with my buddies I need ask from him.. So eventually we agreed on an amt.. It is really hard for only one bread winner ar home plus his own parents to take care of as well.. Now that I'm having my no.2 I asked for a maid n surprisingly he agreed but den thinking abt all the cons of having one I rather he puts more money into my pocket den to hire an outsider whom we do not know if she's as good as expected.. U maybe thinking it hard just like I used to.. But when the time comes things will be come tgt nicely.. Don't worry, gal.
 


Bhoo: i think that's because it's a small biz, as in not those kind of child/infant care chains. Sometimes if there is no review, it might means that it's quite okie. To be sure, go and ask for a tour inside. On child/infant care near workplace, if it's better than the ones near home, then imo rather take the trouble, which is the one is my case as the child/infant care is frm learning vision.

Littlecoco: if u r a full time sahm then instead of a maid u can get a part time cleaner to help lighten ur burden on the household chores?
 
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