(2012/06) Jun 2012

Jul, yes vomit whole nite cos I still have bad ms that time, and mil forced me to eat fish. Got to visit relatives cos mil said first year wor.

nattan, yes me Malaysian married to Singapore. I can't vomit everywhere cos we are not staying with pil. Sometime for married daughter is quite difficult to have reunion dinner at own family.

I guess only nothern part and southern part of Malaysia have steamboat as reunion dinner, I am from KL, I never have steamboat as reunion dinner since young, always da yu da rou.
 


Morning mummies...

Audrey, Jul, yes.. my MIL also used to do this for her steamboat. Dump everything lock, stock and barrel in, then let it boil, then turn down heat. But not everybody can eat so much so in the end a lot of things are overcooked like the meat and fish! Yuck... I don't understand why must eat this way?? But nobody complain so I wasn't going to be the first one :p Another thing is she liked to pour all the water from the abalone can into the soup. Isn't it just salt water? I felt it was unhealthy but again, didn't say anything.

Moi, I can't remember how much I paid for the diffuser. Mine came with 1 bottle of essential oil in a X'mas package. I think was about $89. The diffuser is about $60 if I'm not wrong. I went to the Marina Sq outlet. Think there're other outlets... http://www.muji.com/sg/stores/
 
Petrina, jul, moi
We also put veg in first in my family and we have a few types of veg to choose from.

Talking about meat in steamboat, I don't remember seeing them in my hubby family. I think that's because they have a roasted chicken but it look dry, cold, unwanted in another plate and with so many flies around (though they cover it when no1 eating), the feeling of eating it is just not there.

I don't even the choice of choosing what i want to eat. Everytime I eat, there are only many types of balls, intestines, veg, coriander,some unknown food (never seen them in my family steamboat, ask my hubby what is that and he say he don't know. Zzz), overcooked fish and prawn, not forgetting the unwanted chicken. See le so sian so most of the time I ate fast food instead. Even I ate there, the portion is even lesser than my 2 and half year boy. Haha..

Ahh.. I miss SG style steamboat.. I wish I can just go back to my family for reunion dinner.
 
loshita: cause ur maiden home not in SG so it's hard..
for me i made it a point to eat both sides each yr.
usually my mom will compromise since i m married off daughter.. Male side more impt mah..
So i'll let MIL decide dinner or lunch.
After she choose liao then i'll inform my mom the decision then she will plan her day from there.

Ever since my boy was born, we nvr have steamboat le. cause not convenient for baby/toddler.
This yr i suggested steamboat for MIL side as my boy is nearly 4.
my Parents place will still have the standard dishes, no steamboat.
 
steamboat

Haha looks like we established a pattern liao. This mixed soup concept of steamboat is a MSian thing? haha
 
re reunion dinner

usually all the dinners I go to are spread out, so we don't eat only on CNY eve. I think it's because my husband's sides have a lot of married aunts, so must eat earlier to catch all of them.

Only when my paternal grandparents were still alive, we would eat on CNY eve, coz most of his children were male. So my mum never got to eat reunion dinner with her parents after marriage.
 
loshita
You are correct, my hubby is from the northern part of Malaysia.

Poor thing, being forced to eat the fish and end up vomiting. Lucky I always eat before or after my mil so she doesn't know what i ate on the table.

Nattan
I think is for convenience sake. Dump everything in and done. Water from abalone can?! That doesn't taste anything near like soup, u didn't ask her the reason for pouring in?
 
loshita

Aiyoh...

Actually hor, my mum is aws pressurising me to go back to her place for reunion dinner. Then aws unhappy. But honestly, we have to eat a huge reunion dinner with the whole extended family at the grandparents/ in law place. Then I can't just eat & rush off right? Looks so rude.

Besides, I'll be so tired to have to rush here, rush there, then next morning go to church early in the am, then visit grandparents in law again, visit my grandparents etc etc. But my mum will keep asking & nagging & scolding for the first 4/5 yrs od marriage.

Actually I feel that married out liao, the responsibility shd be to turn up at the Hubs' side. If they are in another country, or they don't wanna have the dinner, then we can use the free time to visit niangjia. But to be unhappy & make it feel that I'm doing something wrong by not gog back is just too much. Not as if we won't see them the next morning liao. No offense to those who want to go back home. I meant that I don't wanna rush here, rush there, so I'm not happy that my mum cannot understand my difficulty.
 
Audrey, I dunno why and since my hubby said this is what they always do, I didn't question lor. My MIL thought the water from the can is like the abalone stock or something.. haha.. Anyway, our reunion dinner is always very boring cos NOBODY talks, except MIL. This yr, I dunno what's going to happen now that MIL is gone. We just eat silently?! Faint...

loshita, all the more if you're not staying with ILs, should vomit in their home for them to see that you cannot be forced to eat mah! Visiting is ok if there's transport. When I go to JB, I still need to endure 1hr journey in the car to visit each relative since they stay so far away. Can only hope the weather won't be so hot cos every time seems like CNY is the hottest time of the yr.

Jul, actually I don't visit my parents until the 3rd or 4th day, cos usually spend about 2 nights at ILs' place.

Now my hubby has declined serving in church on CNY eve so can go back JB together with me. But need to work out with BILs which one can drive us in.
 
Audrey, Nattan

My mum also pours in the abalone water. I think she thinks that it's "good" liao - abalone juice all inside. Add taset to the soup etc. Of course, my mum's soup base isn't very fantastic, so she tries to add taste like this.

Frankly speaking, it's my grandma's who's the good cook. my mum's cooking really CMI like mine lol. That's y I aws enjoy gog to my grandma's for steamboat on CNY 1st day.
 
AUDREY: wah.. unknown food. i hate coriander.. my mil n hb loves "tang orh" the popular veg during CNY. tat's the worst smell i can take. i usually eat bai cai. MIL will buy watever we want to eat. cut, wash then leave on plates all spread on big table.
our steamboat have grill. so we can also grill foods if we dun like soupy meat.

our usual steamboat food - pork/sotong/fish balls, fish dumplings, fish slices, abalone slices, shabu beef/chicken/pork, prawns, fish maw slices, sea cucumber, assorted veg, chicken/quail eggs, mee sua/rice.

Nattan: abalone water we throw away.. or sometimes we will boil it and scorch the abalone. my MIL will buy pork/chicken bones to boil the soup stock then add abit maggi chicken essence for better taste...

Glass: tat type dinner quite usual..
my family side very cute.

Chu Yi - after i bai nian with MIL, we will go out rather early ard 11am to my maternal grandma's house.

ALL married aunts & uncles will gather there. so we will have reunion lunch. then by 4pm all scatter to their individual spouses' place.

Then we go back home to entertain my hb's relatives and help MIL prepare reunion dinner for her relatives *married aunts & uncles* (My MIL is eldest)

Chu Er - around 10am we will go to my dad's relative house (eldest brother). sit around and wait till the entire platoon arrives (12 siblings and children and grandchildren) LOL
then we start eating reunion dinner according to ranks from 5pm onwards which will end around 9pm.

After which gambling and games will take place. For us, it's home time.

As my hb is manager, he will have his team drop by on the first saturday of CNY. We usually order fast food or pot luck. then it's MJ time
happy.gif


That's the end of our CNY every year.
 
nattan

Hi5! My mum also thinks it's abalone stock lor!

Very tiring right? Stay 2 nights, then rush back & visit the Singapore side. Marriage with someone from a different cty isn't easy hor? In the same cty & culture, but also will have diff upbringing hence friction/misunderstanding/conflict. Not to mention another cty, with the distance involved & the culture difference.
 
jasmine,
good luck on ur amnio. dont worries too much. maybe it's my #3 so i abit bochap, altho got worried abit la.. :p

bb gender: my 3rd boy. save even more $$ on their clothings.
sad.gif


jul,
yalor.. those money is a big sums all add together lei.. i can shop alot more. but than better save for kids edu fee better.. haha..
 
petrina

Hehe I love coriander & tang orh. Maybe it's just that I've been eating it every CNY since dunno when. My ILs' family dunno how to eat tang orh & coriander. I feel that they have a certain similar taste & smell, so people either tend to like/dislike both.
 
I am very close to my immediate family and own relatives. But I can see my hb is not closed to his own parents dun mention about other relatives here. And plus after my no.1 confinement that I have conflict with my mil and sil. It made me dun feel good whenever I see them. Mil still ok. I can understand her, just that we have communication gap as I can't understand hokkien and she has hearing problem also. But sil if possible we would like to avoid her. else sure a lot of troubles.
 
redtea

"Save even more money" shd be accompanied by
happy.gif
lol

I also saving money coz 2nd one also boy.

true lah, the money can be saved for kids' education also. Hmm.. wonder what my boy is doing in sch.
 
petrina
I have never had reunion dinner with my family ever since I got married because I always had to travel back to my hubby's hometown a day or 2 before cny eve.

glass
We do have gathering before cny to celebrate my grandmother birthday. Maybe i should just consider that as reunion dinner.

jul
my mum never request me that, I am glad that she is being so understanding. I think she also know the travelling is very far. Somemore I only visit her each year after the 5th day of cny. Sometimes I feel so guilty about it.

nattan
You know what, I have eating silently yearly at my hubby's side. They speak hokkien/teo chew (i forgotten, i think my hubby going to kill me for that) while i speak cantonese/mandarin/english so unable to communicate at times.

JB weather is still ok, sungai petani is worse. Is so hot that you feel like melting away on the spot so each year I buy cooling, breathable tops for myself and kids. I always make sure my hubby on the car first before sitting in or else is sitting in a preheat oven.

jul
For soup base, my family used to use pork and chicken bones to boil the base. As we put in ingredients to cook, the soup will be tastier.
 
jul: yesh! tang orh is a special veg tat needs acquired taste buds. hehe
coriander my mom loves. so she will put for her bowl of soup.
they say tang orh is auspicious veg. every yr very exp de lor. hehe

RedTea: take heart that boys r easier to take care. brothers r close together. easier to share thoughts...
i see very open already. if #2 boy is ok. cause if girl, i have to worry alot of things.. toilet training n sitting training, etiquette training, most of all the "S** education".
happy.gif


i love girls too.. but just console urself tat u don't have to worry about the above?
 
Morning ladies,

Talking about reunion dinner, i haven't had one with my own family for 2 years now as we only go back to Msia as well on the 3rd day of CNY.
happy.gif


Our families dont have the habit of steamboat though. Hehehe.... we have dishes and i miss my mum's cooking! Cant wait to go back on the 3rd day of CNY, as she is going to cook a feast.

However my reunion dinners with cousins and friends are starting for this week onwards. Fully booked everywhere!
 
loshita

Actually quite sad.. I'm not close to my family either. My mum was working, then had 3 more kids. I'm not close to my sisters coz I'm the eldest & age gap v big. I ws like an only child. Just do eevrything myself.

Guess that's why I have difference of opinion with my mum. Not that we quarrel a lot or something, but I just don't adopt her views. Which is quite strange I suppose, since most people will do what their parents have been doing right?

audrey

My grandma also uses bones to boil a tasty soup base. My mum is just not a gd cook lah haha

Sometimes I think my mum behaves like someone who doesn't have kids. or maybe the value system different.

When we go out to eat, she won't choose a kid-friendly restaurant. Can be eating in those super crowded places, very cramped, with smokers & not enough seats & people carrying hot dishes all over. Raining heavily doesn't seem to matter to her. She can also have late dinner without consideration foy my boy's bedtime. And she will say things like why I only give him porridge, so poor thing, shd give him the spare ribs, or fried youtiao or whatever. Or maybe I pamper my son too much. I also dunno lah Hiaz
 
Audrey: aww.. try to learn their language bah.. it took me 4yrs to pick up MIL's dialect. b4 tat i m a hainanese/english person. then now i multi-lingo already.. LOL
MIL say my hokkien n chinese very broken. so i mix watever i noe n speak to her. if she dun understand then i ask hb translate.. haha

Pity u ladies who cross so far from your family to get married... really not easy.
 
Jul,
ur lol is 苦笑or 奸笑??

talking abt kids in sch;
today my #2 din cry when we bring him to sch today. haha.. i carried him all the way to sch and then tell him can watch tv. take off him sch for him as he's holding his bread and then ask him to put his shoes in the rack and then open the gate and he followed his teacher in. not make any noise. hee.. dunno nxt week will still be the same anot. haha..
 
petrina
I also only eat bai cai in steamboat.

Wah.. your usual steamboat food is almost the same as my family's steamboat.

bai nian
Every year we go many relatives houses, my hubby comes from a big family. Every year I never fail to forget how to call them, haha.

Just giving out hongbao, it will be more than 100 of them. This year I won't need to give out hongbao as his grandfather just passed away last year.

jul
You just reminded me, i wonder how am i going to get my boy to school next week. Wanted to send him on wednesday but end up didn't go. He recognise the uniform so when i bring it to him, he threw it onto the floor than he lie on the sofa like a bolster. Coax him half an hr still refused to change, sigh. Then thurs he fell sick, can't go school.
 
Petrina

heehee I also self-brainwash that #2 is boy is good. Like you mentioned, if it's gal, everything must really start all over. And no matter what, gals are in more 'danger' than boys.
 
Jul, ^5
happy.gif
Yes, not easy to get used to different cultures and way of life! What to do.. they say "marry chicken follow chicken, marry dog follow dog" lor.. I love my hubby, but not necessarily his family and their way of life. But then, I think they may also feel the same about me. We just have mutual respect and tolerance...Fortunately no outright conflict. Actually I can get along with FIL pretty well.. my hubby says at least he talks to me more than my SIL (cos he's English ed, whereas my SIL is a bit more cheenah type).

Audrey, poor you...cannot even communicate with your ILs due to different language. They cannot speak mandarin?? I speak English with my FIL and his relatives, while MIL's relatives are Mandarin speaking, so no problem. But it's just that my FIL and BILs don't talk at all during dinner... so weird! And they don't have the habit of eating at the table together during meals, except during CNY steamboat lor.. Very strange and awkward!!

Petrina, I don't mind tang orh and coriander also, but not too much la cos their taste overpowers everything. My hubby hates these veg though. We usually just have cabbage and cai xin.

Hi Adeline, I also miss my grandma's cooking, but she is too old to cook now. My usual family reunion dinner was always a buffet of many dishes cooked by grandma. After she stopped cooking, we all go out for buffet or Chinese 8 course dinner. I still cannot get used to steamboat every yr!!
 
Petrina

heehee I also self-brainwash that #2 is boy is good. Like you mentioned, if it's gal, everything must really start all over. And no matter what, gals are in more 'danger' than boys.
 
Jul: when i had #1, i dun eat in places w/o high chair. tat's my main criteria. only 3yrs later then i relax abit since my boy can sit on adult chair w/o fidgeting much.
my parents also used to be like ur mom. late dinner nvm. slp abit late lor.. kids have bedtime to adhere to. i kinda trained my parents to think for my son. if simple things can't compromise, then no point eating together.
So they took abit of time to understand my situation then they choose to accept.
Beginning they say y so mafun. When I was younger also no high chair, they also handle well. I guess our parents forgot that times have changed. kids ain't tat dumb anymore.
happy.gif
 
Jul,
cos my mil is not capable to handle my confinemnet but she ngek ngek wanted to do it and dun want us to engage CL. in the end we realised that she dunno how to cook confinement food, cannot handle new born. So I have no choice I have to get my mum over to help as she has experince. At first mil was happy cos someone is goign to give her a hand. Who know my sil not happy that I called my mum to help. Actually my hb was the one to call my mum to help when he saw me suffering. Then sil bad-mouth at the back. Mil not happy in the end pack all the stuff moved away w/o our notice. Then on the full moon party of my gal, she treated my parents invicible. When she walked over to intro her frens to me, my parents just beside me, from the beg till the end never say hi-bye to my parents. I found her very rude and not expecting my family, therefore from there onwards, i avoid talking to her. And she also one kind. Very bad temper. My hb also tease her, lao gu pou is like that.

Audrey, SP is small kampung, but very happening during LNY, you too married far, but you only go back once a year. Other time you are close to your maiden place. My mum also never request me to go back for reunion dinner, when i told her I am going back this year, she also shocked first thing she asked is my mil ok or not? My mum married so many years never back to maiden house for reunion dinner even my grandma passed away 20 years back.
 
Nattan - Why dont you start a trend? Do a potluck? Get all the family members to try and re-create dishes that your grandma has cooked before.
 
jul
I think the trick to boil tasty soup base with bones is to cook for at least an hour.

My boy was fed with packet drinks, cakes and don't know what else behind my back by my mil during first year celebration. I almost fainted when i knew it but i didn't want to make the situation ugly so i can only close 2 eyes.

I think maybe is because last time your mum had help to take care of you and sisters so she doesn't need to consider about the environment when eating?

petrina, nattan
my mil talks with me in mandarin, just that the grandma can't. But when the family communicate, they used their dialect so most of the time i just sit there and do nothing. The whole family are used to talking in dialect, just like I am used to talk cantonese with my family. The only difference is my hubby can speak not very good cantonese as he used to study in KL so he learnt there.

One thing I like about msia is they have highchairs in every coffeeshop so is very convenient. Unlike sg, must take stroller out for baby/young kid to sit if we eat in hawker centre. So i always choose places with high chair too.
 
redtea

Shd be jianxiao. Something wrong with my Chiense font, cannot specify which word I want. Stupid notebook.

Heehee hopefully no issues at all. It's a CC or a kindy? My boy poo-ed in sch yest
sad.gif
Luckily I packed spare clothes & diaper.

audrey

Hmm.. my boy's sch no uniform. But we do have to change his clothes to get to sch. Only had probs on thfirst day, had to half bluff, half ignore, then after reaching the sch, he was distracted by the playgrounds. Now he loves to go to sch coz he thinks it's a big playground haha. Maybe you can try to promise him can go playground or whatever if there's one near his sch?

nattan

hee you really dun like steamboat hor? :p
 
Audrey,
I also cannot understand my hb family side as I can't speak and understand hokkien. My pil speaks mandarine with me. But my hb can speak very good cantonese cos he grew up with TVB drama, so he speaks cantonese with my family and relatives.
 
WAH... audrey, nobody dares to feed my boy anything behind my back b4 my boy turn 2. i have the type of eyes tat can kill.. wahahah
MIL & my parents know my pattern. I dun give face.. All 3 ppl tasted my medicine b4 already. I ain't a people pleaser. I am like lion, whoever harms my kid will be blacklisted.
 
petrina

Yeah, same lor. Why do I need to do this, why need that, so mafun. I guess maybe their attitude is more relaxed, that's why they have 4 kids or more? I guess if I have 3 kids with my sort of anal attitude, I'll die an early death haha

loshita

Huh? Your SIL v weird. If I see my mum so xinku & get someone else to take over, I'll be happy mah. Actually.. erm.. it's not politically correct, but it's true that unmarried people (men or women), by a certain age, tend to get very hard to get along with. Coz they're used to doing their own things their own way for many yrs, I guess?

Actually sometimes my SIL also will interfere, but she's looking out for her mu, which is more understandable. for eg, she'll tell me to eat faster so that I can take over looking after my son, etc. I NOT happy lor! I'm not taking my own sweet time to eat. Hubs will goble his food without chewing properly then he'll get indigestion. Why shd I get indigestion? He's already looking after the boy, no need to have 2 people get indigestion right? So not worth lol.

audrey

I dunno also lah. When my boy was abt 4 mths or so, she snatched my boy away from the pram, when he was happily lying there. Put him on her lap, boasting that she had 4 kids, I must learn to eat & take care of him at the same time. But he was happily lying there mah. And then she proceeded to drop rice all over my son. Hiaz.. I dun understand her sometimes also.

From all these little things, it slowly dawned on me that my mum actually DOESN'T know how to take care of kids. And I remembered that she could only cook chopped carrot & potato porridge for my sisters when they were young. Suddenly I just realised that my mum was a working mum, you know? All along, I assumed that she shd be great with kids, but turned out she was hopeless.
 
loshita, wow.. your MIL and SIL are really rude!! I would definitely say something if I were you lor.

Adeline, cannot recreate the dishes la, cos nobody learnt to cook from her when she could still cook :p I learned some dishes but they are not the CNY dishes.

Jul, your mum quite bochap hor.. And I'm glad I dun have SIL from IL's side.. I think BILs are easier to get along with since we don't talk much to begin with!

Petrina, I'm also like you, not the people pleaser and definitely will be "mumzilla" next time if anybody try to interfere with my kid :p
 
jul,
mine is childcare. full day. first week he's ok. then this week is 2nd weeks and he starts to play koala. haha..
 
nattan: BIL unmarried is good. after no good liao.. haha
cause 2 DILs will be competing for MIL attention. see who more filial.

Jul: ur own mom.. shld voice out when u not happy.

loshita: i think overall women r same.. once they reach certain age then wanna feel useful again. but when they realized tat they r lousier than outside help, they tend to grouch tat the outside help interfere with their plans.. my MIL also like tat.
Mornings when i help her handle my son, she say i disturb her routine but so obvious she can't handle his morning temper lor...
She ask me "siam" so that she can handle him her way. I do faster mah, she also not happy.. So sometimes i bo chap. until she open mouth for help then i help. otherwise she say i kaypoh.. LOL
Then new topic will be I as a mom very lazy.. haha.. all MILs very hard to please...
 
Petrina, I don't care to compete for MIL's attention. It's obvious SIL is the preferred one since she is the people-pleaser. My MIL sometimes even called me by SIL's name by mistake! But she was not hard to please la.. she was just opinionated like me, and like to talked too much. I just ignored whatever I didn't wish to listen :p

Actually I don't really talk to BILs or SIL much. It all started cos my hubby himself doesn't really talk to his own family. Since he doesn't talk, I find it weird to talk also. And this was ever since I was introduced to his family. We just do basic greeting and that's it. Everybody just do their own things..
 
nattan

I agree. Usually, women tend to be more "xiaoqi". Men don't have anything in common with us anyway, so no conflict if there's no interest in the 1st place haha

redtea

Mine also. First 5 days no prob. Then 6th & 7th days, "weh" a bit. Think he got into fights, or couldn't get what he wanted etc. And he targets me for "sympathy" vote. So Weh a bit for me. But teacher said it din last long. And as usual, he just held the teacher's hand & walked in, without bothering to say goodbye or look at me. Hiaz.. think I must prepare that my son will be those "leave house without a care" type. Must psycho myself not to be too possessive & a monster-in-law hahaha

petrina

I voice out. But she bochap. Which is why I nvr dare to trust her with babysitting. Dunno what monkey biz she can come out with. She's aws feeding my sis' dog strange food too, & my sis is sooo angry. But no use, she'll still do it. maybe that's y she doesn't get along too well with her kids. She cannot understand & cannot take instructions?
 
jul, nattan,

That is why this round I die die engage CL, my mil also dun dare to ask about confinement this round. But my mil I can understand her, though she moved away w/o our notice, she still come back to visit my gal and chit chat with my mum. just my weirdo sil that make all of us so sick of her. My bil also single and not married but he is very understanding. He will accommodate our need as he knows that we have a todd.

last weekend we have dim sum with in law family. The moment sil came she passed my gal toys then my gal who was eating halfway refused to eat. So I told my gal loudly "you are not supposed to play with any toys while you are eating" then my sil got the msg and took the toys away. But also took me sometime to get her back to her food.

I have been very bad to her, I deleted her from my MSN and FB. so she will not know any news that I posted about my gal. And I never talk to her. Lately if she asked me sth i will answer, as I think I shd give face to my hb anyhow she is her sister.
 
I'm quietly reading all your posts...sound so scary about all the ILs and getting worried as this is my first....so my MIL will be doing confinement for me. Finger crossed....no major things will happen please.
 
loshita
Talking about confinement, i am very worried for my June. Hubby da yi will be helping me to do confinement as we are unable to get a confinement lady. Those who are recommended by friends and relatives are fully booked and I wanted her to come down about 2-3 weeks before my EDD as i had 2 born at 36wks+, only 1 born at 40wks exactly so I am worried this time round I might give birth early too.

I go back twice a year, June and cny while inlaws come here twice a year too. They misses the grandchildren too much, cannot once a year only.

Agree with you SP is a small kampung, i couldn't get used to it the first time i went there because I got no where to go.

jul
I sms the teacher yesterday asking her if is ok to come without uniform or not but she hasn't reply me. I should have enrol him into a school without uniform, didn't expect this to happen. Haha

I tried with bribing him food, games etc. He still doesn't want to go. Actually he never went playground before, not never. Tried before but koala on my hubby refusing to go as there are many kids around.

How to eat and take care at the same time? I have 3 kids and still haven't master that skill. If baby fine on his/her own, then i will eat with my hubby. If not, it will be 1 carry while 1 eat after that change.

petrina
When I knew it, he already ate and at the time there are many relatives around so just close 2 eyes.

Anyway my mil likes to do things her way. We voiced out our opinion, she will say yes, yes, yes but end up doing her own way. Like last time we told her we are not doing wedding dinner. But i got pregnant a month after we ROM so mil said must at least treat immediate family for dinner so must put 2 tables. My hubby agreed but when we go back, the 2 tables becomes 25 tables in a restaurant. Haiz..
 
loshita

I also die die engage CL this time. Learned my lesson from the last round. MIL wasn't unhelpful. In fact her food was quite gd as she's a gd cook.

But I needed help in the middle of the night, which I also can't ask her to do. Even if she were willing to stay up in the night, she also has other concerns in the day, like her own household chores, her other grandkids, her social life, etc etc.

So since I had experience & know that I want someone to SERVE me, I engage CL. besides, not to mention that I have 2 kids this time *faint* Hubs can take care of #1, but that means he can't help me with #2.

anna

It depends on every family's scenario. Like r u staying at her place? Do you have SIL/BIL living together? Is your MIL well-versed with newborn care & confinement food? Is the house comfy or cramped? How old & healthy is MIL etc.

audrey

Haha nvm, if not uniform issue, could be something else. Oic then maybe you wanna consider that your son isn't ready for sch?

My son is opposite. Same age as yours, but when it comes to PLAY, all hell breaks loose. Evry am, he can't wait to get out of the car to go to the sch playground. When it's time to take temp, he can stay in the playground & I can call until the cows come home before he comes by himself to the teacher. Hiaz! We all have our own probs lor

maybe u wanan consider the playdates with 1/2 kids first? I'm no child psychologist but it seems that your son is very shy. Even playground with other kids also make him koala. So maybe you start small with playdates, then when he's ready to run to playgrounhd, then start sch again? Just a suggestion lah

Haha I also dunno this eat & take care at same time thing. I thought I was just inept haha

Your MIL's pattern sounds like my mum haha
 
Anna, don't worry too much la.. if you are ok with your MIL then it should be ok. Just make sure she knows how to cook and take care of the baby.

Audrey, are you getting a part-time cleaner to help with your chores? I think there will be too much laundry and cleaning to do for your hubby's da yi, wait she complains :p

BTW, re wedding dinner, I went thru that also. Told my ILs I don't want dinner, so we dragged customary for 5 yrs. After that, she said must do, so I left it all up to her lor. I didn't want to get involved at all. In the end got 18 tables, all people I dunno except 1 table of our close friends. Aiya.. this kind of things, just get over and done with, then life goes on... Anyway, we didn't have to foot a cent except hotel stay cos the angbows paid for it. But I was very pissed that MIL too all the angbow money surplus as her own "commission" lor. If she didn't take it, we don't even have to pay for our hotel stay in JB. Some more she had the cheek to tell her she "made" some money from our wedding!!!
kao_angry.gif
 
Anna: yeah. for me, my MIL stays with me. my #1 was also her #1. no prior experience with grandkids. i can't say she is bad with NBs. but u need to make sure rules r set.
what can be compromised what can't. If u just need a chef, then if her food is good, ok. if u need help and she isn't helpful basically, then no point.

agree with Jul.. confinement isn't easy. unless u have the right person to help u, otherwise u're better off alone.

Audrey: personally i will make noise after seeing situation. if lots ppl ard i will leave it. but after that they sure kenna from me. and there won't be a 2nd chance.

regarding school, u might wanna consider if he's too shy. perhaps he's youngest so he feels more pampered? if this goes on for few weeks, u might want to pull him out from sch till he's ready.
Every child grows at a different pace. Take it slowly, if u r kancheong, they can feel it.
happy.gif
 
nattan: huh? commission?? my wedding dinner we handle everything. all the ang pao $ covered it. so it was ok. but we kept the excess as my parents didn't ask for any tables at all.
if they did then we probably will lugi some.
happy.gif
 


Petrina, the thing is, I have no tables from my side lor cos the dinner was held in JB and only my ILs side and their friends attended. I was very angry with MIL for a long time. Furthermore, she being cheapskate didn't buy me any si dian jin, but passed me her old jewellery (which are not even 18k gold). I suspected that for my SIL's wedding, she actually gave away the jade pendant I gave her cos she never wore it anymore. But then, when she was dying, she sobbed to me and said sorry for all the things she had done. I had to forgive her la... Save all that money, in the end all spent on medical bills
sad.gif
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

1
1st time pregnancy - enquiries
Replies
3
Views
3K
elmirawong
E
G
Recommendation for Lactation Consultant IBCLC for first time mom
Replies
0
Views
355
Glitter_Wu
G
P
JB Confinement centre - need advise
Replies
2
Views
1K
Peanut butter
P
G
Review on confinement Nanny
Replies
0
Views
445
gohyiling
G
M
Confinement Nanny - Fen Jie/ Yan Jie
Replies
45
Views
4K
Cwxkenny
C

Back
Top