(2012/06) Jun 2012
- Thread starter bluesapphire
- Start date
groovy2009
Active Member
sorry I mean curvy ribs
groovy2009
Active Member
Jasmine, that's what my gynea said every time last time during #1 but every time I visit him he said ya now head down but still can change.. LOL..
In the end near due date he said good position perfect for natural birth. Huehehe..
I'm okay not to change though. Really want natural birth again. But I actually wanted to deliver near due date so the gap between jie jie is longer
.
In the end near due date he said good position perfect for natural birth. Huehehe..
I'm okay not to change though. Really want natural birth again. But I actually wanted to deliver near due date so the gap between jie jie is longer
.loshita,
On what grounds are they retrenching you ? I believe the company has to pay you the 4 months' maternity leave benefit if you are within 6 months' to EDD.
Groovy,
i thought baby's head down is good ? mine was also head down during the detailed scan and the legs are curled up 180 degrees to the face, like doing sit and reach.
On what grounds are they retrenching you ? I believe the company has to pay you the 4 months' maternity leave benefit if you are within 6 months' to EDD.
Groovy,
i thought baby's head down is good ? mine was also head down during the detailed scan and the legs are curled up 180 degrees to the face, like doing sit and reach.
Jasmine, joeey, try massaging your calves before going to bed? Also try not to stand too long. I usually sit with my legs propped up on a stool. I also use a bolster when I sleep. So far, never had any cramps or soreness.
Jul, what books did you buy? I thought you have experience already... still need to read so much??
Jul, what books did you buy? I thought you have experience already... still need to read so much??
Nope. Got go thru the agonies. But quite misinformed, easilyconfused by conflicting info etc. If i were more educated i wun have made the mistakes i did
I read these bks before actually. But too much info to absorb. So i buy for refresher. Will be gd company for me in the hosp or at home when i get insomnia lol
I read these bks before actually. But too much info to absorb. So i buy for refresher. Will be gd company for me in the hosp or at home when i get insomnia lol
ryan_mummy
Active Member
wah.. $70? shld read online. i do that. then convert to pdf n print..
Loshita: retrenched? see what MOM say. if only u then maybe can fight. if every dept also cut down then maybe really retrench. Anyway they will see last year's profits also. retrench they muz pay you enough not like sacking.. just 1mth..
i had cramps once. then no more le. MIL say can't eat too cooling foods. kangkong can't eat also.
Groovy: my baby is breech. gynae say it's normal for 21wks now. usually will turn near edd only.
just be glad ur baby so early turn so u can natural
Pumping has to be regular. cannot skip 1 pump session in hope of higher output at next pump. if do that too often, it will cause supply to dip since u r making ur body to adjust to lesser milk production.
Loshita: retrenched? see what MOM say. if only u then maybe can fight. if every dept also cut down then maybe really retrench. Anyway they will see last year's profits also. retrench they muz pay you enough not like sacking.. just 1mth..
i had cramps once. then no more le. MIL say can't eat too cooling foods. kangkong can't eat also.
Groovy: my baby is breech. gynae say it's normal for 21wks now. usually will turn near edd only.
just be glad ur baby so early turn so u can natural
Pumping has to be regular. cannot skip 1 pump session in hope of higher output at next pump. if do that too often, it will cause supply to dip since u r making ur body to adjust to lesser milk production.
petrina
my baby position in the 20 weeks scanning also breech. gynae didnt comment abt it, only say my placenta position is favourable and high chance for natural birth. i only got to know abt the baby position when i read the report myself. was still quite worried initially. but after much thoughts, think and hopefully should be fine!
my baby position in the 20 weeks scanning also breech. gynae didnt comment abt it, only say my placenta position is favourable and high chance for natural birth. i only got to know abt the baby position when i read the report myself. was still quite worried initially. but after much thoughts, think and hopefully should be fine!
Nattan, Joey, Petrina, Jasmine, Michi
I have been this company more than half year. The reason me and my immediate boss (this section only 2 of us) being retrenched is the products that we handle ceased transaction by HQ direction. MOM website stated if retrenched more than 3 months from EDD company no need to pay 4mths ML. But I believe that just use this as an excuse cos besides the ceased products, I also doing other products transaction as well. So I believe it is just an excuse for my stingy big boss not to pay my maternity leave.
I have been this company more than half year. The reason me and my immediate boss (this section only 2 of us) being retrenched is the products that we handle ceased transaction by HQ direction. MOM website stated if retrenched more than 3 months from EDD company no need to pay 4mths ML. But I believe that just use this as an excuse cos besides the ceased products, I also doing other products transaction as well. So I believe it is just an excuse for my stingy big boss not to pay my maternity leave.
jul,
$70 can buy PISA spare parts wo... I have some BF reading materials, maybe we can just share and post on FB discussion thread.
I have a word document "How can I tell if my newborn baby is getting enough milk?" , how to share on FB ah ?
Thanks nattan, petrina, no time to massage my legs before i sleep. Normally, i'll be reading/chatting with my kids, then off the lights, then massage my gal's feet or **scratch** her back or massage her forehead, she likes it and will slowly doze off. Hee ...
$70 can buy PISA spare parts wo... I have some BF reading materials, maybe we can just share and post on FB discussion thread.
I have a word document "How can I tell if my newborn baby is getting enough milk?" , how to share on FB ah ?
Thanks nattan, petrina, no time to massage my legs before i sleep. Normally, i'll be reading/chatting with my kids, then off the lights, then massage my gal's feet or **scratch** her back or massage her forehead, she likes it and will slowly doze off. Hee ...
Groovy, Petrina, Jasmine, I think my baby is also in the breech position now cos the last time I went to scan, the gynae pointed that baby's position is head on top. But he didn't say anything was wrong. I believe the baby is moving around all the time, he may keep changing positions throughout the next 5 months so no need to worry.
loshita, hopefully MOM will help you to fight the case. Now, more important to just rest more and don't let it affect your pregnancy.
joeey, you can share on Google Docs and send us the link, like what Petrina did for the spreadsheet
Thanks!
loshita, hopefully MOM will help you to fight the case. Now, more important to just rest more and don't let it affect your pregnancy.
joeey, you can share on Google Docs and send us the link, like what Petrina did for the spreadsheet
Okie, can you try this link :
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1z-OWmUwP1vXtU5cWhiopzS4I7q7EP7ZdFHH9I0Nvc_4/edit
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1z-OWmUwP1vXtU5cWhiopzS4I7q7EP7ZdFHH9I0Nvc_4/edit
Hi mummies,
I'm new to this thread. Having c-sect with ligation at TMC for 3rd child (boy) betw 6th -12th June, though EDD is 20th June. First 2 kids are both girls, 2007 and 2010.
I'm a SAHM, total latch-on breastfeeding for both gals, till I got pregnant (1st: 2 yrs old, 2nd: 21 mths) and the milk dried up eventually.
My first bf-ing experience was horrible for the first 2 months. Thinking back, I blame it on the c-sect, giving me baby after delivery only after 4 hrs, quite long breaks like 4 hrs in betw feeds, esp at nights giving excuse that u should be resting, baby with small mouth and princess-like drinking slowly, very un-knowledgeable and discouraging parents and inexperienced breasts
.
Resulted in very bad jaundice, admitted at day 7. sore nipples and even mastitis at week 7.
Lessons learnt:
- Before delivery (can even be weeks before), start massaging breasts during warm showers, and before operation.
- For c-sect, demand for baby to be given to you to be breastfed preferably within 1 or 2 hours. husbands help to be thick-skinned to demand if they don't give. This time, I am going to be thick-skinned and ask for skin-to-skin even at the operating theatre. Otherwise, natural deliveries start skin-to-skin breastfeeding immediately after delivery. http://obnurse35yrs.wordpress.com/2010/06/03/skin-to-skin-minutes-after-cs-in-the-or-speaking-up-and-making-it-happen/
- if meconium (black poo) changes to yellowish by 2nd or 3rd day, it's quite safe to say your baby is drinking enough milk to flush out. My first one still had blackish poo at day 7!!! That's why serious jaundice. cos my milk only came in day 4 and very little. Didn't even have colostrum first few days.
- try to let baby room-in as much as possible, except when need help to change diapers (though seriously... can change ourselves lah...), bathing time and injections time so that I can be more attuned to baby's needs and cries. otherwise your babies will be left to cry and cry in the nursery cos they just don't have enough manpower to take care of your babies well or pass to you immediately.
I read alot of breastfeeding books for first baby. Favourite is http://www.amazon.com/Breastfeeding-Made-Simple-Natural-Nursing/dp/1572248610 which can be borrowed from NLB.
2nd baby, I started to go online to find sites like http://www.lowmilksupply.org/.
And the best discovery that I made is the wonders of videos online! So much better than reading books cos you get to see how they do it. What's a wrong latch etc, how to massage, compress etc.
http://www.breastfeedinginc.ca/content.php?pagename=videos
Or simply google, youtube whatever things u want. Which is why bringing your laptop or ipad with WIFI is so important for you to get refreshed on how to do it when the lactation consultant is not here yet. and your husband can view with u and help to see whether u got it right and also to help to massage for u.
Ok. enough for now. Sorry for first time long post cos I have become a breastfeeding advocate, after overcoming the first difficult 2 months cos of a supportive aunty who also bf both kids till they were 3, and my husband, who was also lazy to sterilize the bottles.
only 1% or less of women do not have the physical ability to breastfeed. That's a super low chance of you not having BM.
Cos most of the previous generation didn't bf, many elderly do not know how to give us the right support, yes, even GPs, doctors, some PDs, and horror of horrors, nurses in hospitals. and now no more village living where we naturally learn from other women how to bf by seeing them bf, the next best thing is online videos
. And arm ourselves with the science behind breastfeeding. Knowledge is power! We are created to bf. FM is such a recent invention cos of marketing companies and to make it easy for women into the workforce cos of industrialization.
I'm new to this thread. Having c-sect with ligation at TMC for 3rd child (boy) betw 6th -12th June, though EDD is 20th June. First 2 kids are both girls, 2007 and 2010.
I'm a SAHM, total latch-on breastfeeding for both gals, till I got pregnant (1st: 2 yrs old, 2nd: 21 mths) and the milk dried up eventually.
My first bf-ing experience was horrible for the first 2 months. Thinking back, I blame it on the c-sect, giving me baby after delivery only after 4 hrs, quite long breaks like 4 hrs in betw feeds, esp at nights giving excuse that u should be resting, baby with small mouth and princess-like drinking slowly, very un-knowledgeable and discouraging parents and inexperienced breasts
Resulted in very bad jaundice, admitted at day 7. sore nipples and even mastitis at week 7.
Lessons learnt:
- Before delivery (can even be weeks before), start massaging breasts during warm showers, and before operation.
- For c-sect, demand for baby to be given to you to be breastfed preferably within 1 or 2 hours. husbands help to be thick-skinned to demand if they don't give. This time, I am going to be thick-skinned and ask for skin-to-skin even at the operating theatre. Otherwise, natural deliveries start skin-to-skin breastfeeding immediately after delivery. http://obnurse35yrs.wordpress.com/2010/06/03/skin-to-skin-minutes-after-cs-in-the-or-speaking-up-and-making-it-happen/
- if meconium (black poo) changes to yellowish by 2nd or 3rd day, it's quite safe to say your baby is drinking enough milk to flush out. My first one still had blackish poo at day 7!!! That's why serious jaundice. cos my milk only came in day 4 and very little. Didn't even have colostrum first few days.
- try to let baby room-in as much as possible, except when need help to change diapers (though seriously... can change ourselves lah...), bathing time and injections time so that I can be more attuned to baby's needs and cries. otherwise your babies will be left to cry and cry in the nursery cos they just don't have enough manpower to take care of your babies well or pass to you immediately.
I read alot of breastfeeding books for first baby. Favourite is http://www.amazon.com/Breastfeeding-Made-Simple-Natural-Nursing/dp/1572248610 which can be borrowed from NLB.
2nd baby, I started to go online to find sites like http://www.lowmilksupply.org/.
And the best discovery that I made is the wonders of videos online! So much better than reading books cos you get to see how they do it. What's a wrong latch etc, how to massage, compress etc.
http://www.breastfeedinginc.ca/content.php?pagename=videos
Or simply google, youtube whatever things u want. Which is why bringing your laptop or ipad with WIFI is so important for you to get refreshed on how to do it when the lactation consultant is not here yet. and your husband can view with u and help to see whether u got it right and also to help to massage for u.
Ok. enough for now. Sorry for first time long post cos I have become a breastfeeding advocate, after overcoming the first difficult 2 months cos of a supportive aunty who also bf both kids till they were 3, and my husband, who was also lazy to sterilize the bottles.
only 1% or less of women do not have the physical ability to breastfeed. That's a super low chance of you not having BM.
Cos most of the previous generation didn't bf, many elderly do not know how to give us the right support, yes, even GPs, doctors, some PDs, and horror of horrors, nurses in hospitals. and now no more village living where we naturally learn from other women how to bf by seeing them bf, the next best thing is online videos
Cindy, yes bananas are good for muscle cramps if caused by hydration or electrolyte imbalance in the body. However, some mummies have also warned me against eating del monte-type bananas as they are said to cause/aggravate constipation. I'm not sure about this, cos I haven't eaten any banana since I got pregnant (not that I'm avoiding them, but just never had the chance to buy). Instead, they said the small pisang goreng/raja type of bananas are ok to eat. Anyway, I find that constantly flexing and stretching my legs while sitting helps to prevent cramps as I've not experienced any.
Welcome Jenny
Wow.. thanks for providing very detailed info on breastfeeding... Will definitely go and read up and watch the videos. Somehow I find that in Singapore, breast milk is still being less accepted than formula? I dunno why (maybe successful marketing by the FM companies) but breastfeeding is so common and widely accepted in the west by comparison. Here, if you breastfeed in public, people will stare and gawk! Guess it will take a while for public education to take root..
Welcome Jenny
ryan_mummy
Active Member
Baby has some type of chemical reaction that ain't suitabel for preggys.. I didn't research much but i just avoid.
Jenny, yes, csec maybe due to eoidural or GA will make u zzz too long. Then in the end u see ur baby only after a few hours.
I also after 4-5 hrs then see my baby.
Ladies, you can request for ur baby to slp with you. Only bring away for tests and jaundice uv thing and bathe time or change diapers.
I refused to let baby stay away other than those reasons. So my boy was with me throughout. Middle of the night i can't zzz i take camera and shot away! Haha
I put my baby zzz beside me most of tge time instead of the cot as i like the coziness. Gynae saw me zzz with baby in arms commented that the sleeping moment shld be captured on camera as it was priceless
Keep staring at my baby is very enjoyable feeling...
Jenny, yes, csec maybe due to eoidural or GA will make u zzz too long. Then in the end u see ur baby only after a few hours.
I also after 4-5 hrs then see my baby.
Ladies, you can request for ur baby to slp with you. Only bring away for tests and jaundice uv thing and bathe time or change diapers.
I refused to let baby stay away other than those reasons. So my boy was with me throughout. Middle of the night i can't zzz i take camera and shot away! Haha
I put my baby zzz beside me most of tge time instead of the cot as i like the coziness. Gynae saw me zzz with baby in arms commented that the sleeping moment shld be captured on camera as it was priceless
Keep staring at my baby is very enjoyable feeling...
mamygwyneth
New Member
Hi Mummies,
This thread is moving so fast! Have went for my detail scan and glad to know that everything is ok, n baby is a mei mei
Regarding BF, for my no. 1, I can only BF partially till 5 mths, hopefully this time I can BF without supplement FM. Anyone BF outside using the sling? Really envy to have the freedom to walk ard and BF at the same time, must master that this time rd. But not sure which type of sling is good, was considering Pupsik or MIM. Any recommendation?
Also how can i join the SMH June FB?
This thread is moving so fast! Have went for my detail scan and glad to know that everything is ok, n baby is a mei mei
Regarding BF, for my no. 1, I can only BF partially till 5 mths, hopefully this time I can BF without supplement FM. Anyone BF outside using the sling? Really envy to have the freedom to walk ard and BF at the same time, must master that this time rd. But not sure which type of sling is good, was considering Pupsik or MIM. Any recommendation?
Also how can i join the SMH June FB?
allenchok_axalife
New Member
hi all mummies
may i share with you where to get a prenantal protection plan (cover pregnancy complication & hospital care) for ownself during pregnancy and also cover your new born (congenital illness protection) rigth on the 1st day of birth ?
the earlist for a new born to take up any hospital or protection plan is one month old. our intresting prenantal plan cover right on the 1st day of birth. hope to share with most of you.
i am Allen chok from AxA Life. PM me if any one keen to know more. my mobile : 96216138
may i share with you where to get a prenantal protection plan (cover pregnancy complication & hospital care) for ownself during pregnancy and also cover your new born (congenital illness protection) rigth on the 1st day of birth ?
the earlist for a new born to take up any hospital or protection plan is one month old. our intresting prenantal plan cover right on the 1st day of birth. hope to share with most of you.
i am Allen chok from AxA Life. PM me if any one keen to know more.
my mobile : 96216138blumarine149
New Member
Mommies, anyone ever Exprience resigned after give birth? I'm thinking of resign after give birth but at the same time also worried that I won't be able to control my financial, as I'm used to have 2incomes in one household... Just worried that I won't give baby good life... So confusing Or I'm just thinking too much because I'm preggy now? And I have my 20mth old boy to feed too..And I have one maid too....TIA
Meimei: I stopped working for a year after giving birth. Ended up spending more money at home and I dipped into joint savings account constantly. Hubby complained. I think he also looked down on me somewhat for not having income. Now for second one I got to pay for my car, housing loan, my first son's school fees and we are thinking of getting a maid in June, I doubt i can stop working . Besides, the main reason for stopping work then was because I hated my then company. My current one is quite good to me and I don't feel so stressed. So I will probably just reduce my work load and do part time for half a year after my maternity leave and then see how.
Re bf
I won't be so insistent on anything as long as my supply is there and my baby is fed well. I had to wean my baby at four months instead of six coz the pd said he was too small sized. I feel bad for starving him just becoz I was insistent on feeding mainly bm. Now at 2 years plus, he is only 10 kg.
I had to watch my diet and stop having cow's milk, seafood and many other stuff coz my baby got bad reaction to my milk. All the Chinese herbs were a killer.
Re pd
I brought my son to one near my mum's place. Told me he had bronchilitis or whatever, put him on neubalizer and tortured him. Brought him to kk and the docs there said no broncholitis. Also gave my son enema coz he never poop. Poor thing. Every time my son sees him, he would howl and cry.
Then sometimes I would bring him to his pd from birth. He liked him much more and seldom cry, even though this pd every time gave him injections. plus the pd more my wavelength type and was encouraging towards bf.
Why put my son through this trouble? Coz my mil thinks this pd is too far away. Wah biang. I got car, distance is not a problem. In the end, told her my son never cry with this pd. In fact my son will keep saying novena, the place where the pd is at whenever we go past it and go to his enrichment class every week.
My pils are using same logic for his preschool. Says the one I have chosen is too far away. Keep interfering and want to send him to nearby place. After one week plus, my son has finally stopped crying when I leave him there. When he comes home, he is very excited about the story books he brought back. He is even more chatty now, and keeps repeating the similes my fil has pasted on the wall.
But just yesterday or the day before, my fil said his neighbor said the mmi near our area is good and he gets excited at the prospect of sending my son there. Can stop that or not? My son is happy currently and I'm taking paycut just to send him to school and still not happy. He is so protective that when he heard a loud wail coming from inside the school after my husband dropped my son off, he rushed in from outside the gate and wanted to go and hold him and comfort him. Like that my son would never adjust to school. I have to hide the parent teacher communication book because the teacher wrote he cried less on the second day. If he sees that, he is going to interfere again.
And I'm respectful enough not to shout at my pils even though I give black face.
Re bf
I won't be so insistent on anything as long as my supply is there and my baby is fed well. I had to wean my baby at four months instead of six coz the pd said he was too small sized. I feel bad for starving him just becoz I was insistent on feeding mainly bm. Now at 2 years plus, he is only 10 kg.
I had to watch my diet and stop having cow's milk, seafood and many other stuff coz my baby got bad reaction to my milk. All the Chinese herbs were a killer.
Re pd
I brought my son to one near my mum's place. Told me he had bronchilitis or whatever, put him on neubalizer and tortured him. Brought him to kk and the docs there said no broncholitis. Also gave my son enema coz he never poop. Poor thing. Every time my son sees him, he would howl and cry.
Then sometimes I would bring him to his pd from birth. He liked him much more and seldom cry, even though this pd every time gave him injections. plus the pd more my wavelength type and was encouraging towards bf.
Why put my son through this trouble? Coz my mil thinks this pd is too far away. Wah biang. I got car, distance is not a problem. In the end, told her my son never cry with this pd. In fact my son will keep saying novena, the place where the pd is at whenever we go past it and go to his enrichment class every week.
My pils are using same logic for his preschool. Says the one I have chosen is too far away. Keep interfering and want to send him to nearby place. After one week plus, my son has finally stopped crying when I leave him there. When he comes home, he is very excited about the story books he brought back. He is even more chatty now, and keeps repeating the similes my fil has pasted on the wall.
But just yesterday or the day before, my fil said his neighbor said the mmi near our area is good and he gets excited at the prospect of sending my son there. Can stop that or not? My son is happy currently and I'm taking paycut just to send him to school and still not happy. He is so protective that when he heard a loud wail coming from inside the school after my husband dropped my son off, he rushed in from outside the gate and wanted to go and hold him and comfort him. Like that my son would never adjust to school. I have to hide the parent teacher communication book because the teacher wrote he cried less on the second day. If he sees that, he is going to interfere again.
And I'm respectful enough not to shout at my pils even though I give black face.
christine77sg
New Member
i quit my job aftr givin birth to #1 n my boy is 14th mth nw. Nvr regret my decision. Althoug it does gt lonely at times cos all my frens wk. Financially ther r definitely things tat i hv to forgo n i really hv to choose carefully wat expensive toys to buy n etc. Last time all my earnings r for my own expenses, bt i hv my own personal car to pay for, parents to support n etc. Bt lucky thing was whn i quit, my car had bn fully paid for n my only major exp thn was to support my parents. Othr than tat, i kp my life simple, w minimal personal exp. I tink impt to hv family support. Luckily hubby doesnt really bother much abt wat i do. So its all my own decision. Few wks bk i ask my hubby hw long does he wan me to b b sahm. Thn he sy its up to me mah.
tats my hubby, doesnt bother abt anything,
1sttimemummytobe
New Member
Hi anyone want a preloved cot? It's quite big for our new place so we bought a smaller one! Bought from Robinsons 2 years ago for $350- Can let go for around $200. can email me at [email protected]
nattan: I breastfeed everywhere , except toilets.
But to make life simpler for myself, I only wear nursing tops, which is very boring. Even my father complains I keep wearing the same clothes. But I am happy that I will only wear these for another 2-3 years.
petrina: my c-sect was the fully awake type. So I was ready to see my baby anytime but their excuse is usually they have to warm the baby up etc, although I read online that having skin-to-skin with baby is the best way to heat up the baby. Just asked my gynae about this and he said mother's skin not warm enough. sigh... our Singapore doctors and nurses are just not keeping up with developments in research. Which is why I am glad WHO is stepping in with the Baby Friendly Hospital Initiative that will help to educate Singapore hospitals about helping mums to have higher chances of successes in their breastfeeding journey.
Meimei: My husband insisted that one of us has to stay at home to take care of our kids. He didn't mind being the house husband but I don't think my parents would be too happy, though they are also not happy with me not working cos they spent so much on my education to "throw it all away" (me being a foreigner paying foreigner fees for Singapore education).
Husband's belief: Don't have children if you do not want to take care yourself cos you can't blame anyone else but yourself for the way your children grow up. Not your in-laws or parents, maid, nanny, childcare teachers etc.
I struggled for 4 years being a SAHM cos I felt I had to give up so many things while his life hardly changed. But it was only a few months ago when I finally accepted that raising my kids is my ministry (to serve God) and I am answerable (to God) for the way I parent my kids. I feel much better now about staying at home. But I struggle with anger issues with my kids when sometimes I just get so tired and frustrated. It helps when my husband doesn't expect a clean house and home-cooked food.
So I would say, if you want to stay at home, it will be much easier if your husband is very supportive and believes in the benefits of having mum at home. And you are willing to sacrifice your personal space and material comforts.
petrina: my c-sect was the fully awake type. So I was ready to see my baby anytime but their excuse is usually they have to warm the baby up etc, although I read online that having skin-to-skin with baby is the best way to heat up the baby. Just asked my gynae about this and he said mother's skin not warm enough. sigh... our Singapore doctors and nurses are just not keeping up with developments in research. Which is why I am glad WHO is stepping in with the Baby Friendly Hospital Initiative that will help to educate Singapore hospitals about helping mums to have higher chances of successes in their breastfeeding journey.
Meimei: My husband insisted that one of us has to stay at home to take care of our kids. He didn't mind being the house husband but I don't think my parents would be too happy, though they are also not happy with me not working cos they spent so much on my education to "throw it all away" (me being a foreigner paying foreigner fees for Singapore education).
Husband's belief: Don't have children if you do not want to take care yourself cos you can't blame anyone else but yourself for the way your children grow up. Not your in-laws or parents, maid, nanny, childcare teachers etc.
I struggled for 4 years being a SAHM cos I felt I had to give up so many things while his life hardly changed. But it was only a few months ago when I finally accepted that raising my kids is my ministry (to serve God) and I am answerable (to God) for the way I parent my kids. I feel much better now about staying at home. But I struggle with anger issues with my kids when sometimes I just get so tired and frustrated. It helps when my husband doesn't expect a clean house and home-cooked food.
So I would say, if you want to stay at home, it will be much easier if your husband is very supportive and believes in the benefits of having mum at home. And you are willing to sacrifice your personal space and material comforts.
Jenny, my hubby and I have similar belief as you and your spouse... We discussed and I accepted that if need be, he would be a house-husband and SAHD cos I currently earn enough to support both of us, while his earnings is irregular. Sometimes I wish I could be the one to stay home instead, but I tell myself to just trust God if this is His will for me and my family. Besides I do like my current job. My hubby is more patient than I am in dealing with kids. I believe he would be better than me at staying home and caring for the baby and our future kids. I may end up tearing my hair out if I'm the one.. haha.. Sure, we may need to stretch our dollar further when that happens, but I believe the rewards would be greater than the material comforts we sacrifice.
ryan_mummy
Active Member
Jenny i also had epidural csec.
felicia_cao
New Member
MeiMei
I thought about quitting my job after having #1, while indeed no need to quit cuz i was being retrenched by my ex company, they gave me advanced notice and good compensation that could last me for a year without any income or help from hubby.. so that time i thought maybe i should stop working for a year..
i am so glad that i didn't do that and instead i found my current job quickly and left #1 with a trustworthy maid alone since he was 8 months old.. i have to admit that i am a career women.. and honestly speaking, i feel that our hubby, and people around us like in laws, they wont appreciate if we sacrifice our career to look after kids.. they will only appreciate us if we can settle our kids (somehow, be it maid, nanny, childcare), at the same time still earn an income to support the family..
and my father insisted me to continue working cuz he said, i should have my own career and life even after having kids.. and let my kids understand that mummy does not have all her time and life for them only, mummy needs to work hard to provide them with a better life. and kids will learn to survive and grow up more independently, at the same time they will learn to respect us more.. he's quite right cuz i have a friend who thinks his SAHM knows nothing and when his mother told him her biggest career is to bring him up, he feels that's nothing but her responsibility only...
i think there's no right or wrong.. i respect all the SAHMs and i feel that the time and bonding they have with their kids, is something we FTWM could never afford to have.. but still, i rather continue working..
hubby quit his job and went jobless for 5 months last year.. true that in a way #1 got to have better attention and i am totally care free and no need to worry when #1 is sick.. but financially, it's really not easy although my pay can support the family. now if i ask him to quit and look after kids, i am sure he will think twice already..
so i feel that as long as kids are big enough (1.5 years and above) and can go to childcare, should start working.. but when they are small and need tender care, while you dun have any other options, then yes stop working makes perfect sense.. just need to be prepared and don't get stressed up financially and emotionally...
I thought about quitting my job after having #1, while indeed no need to quit cuz i was being retrenched by my ex company, they gave me advanced notice and good compensation that could last me for a year without any income or help from hubby.. so that time i thought maybe i should stop working for a year..
i am so glad that i didn't do that and instead i found my current job quickly and left #1 with a trustworthy maid alone since he was 8 months old.. i have to admit that i am a career women.. and honestly speaking, i feel that our hubby, and people around us like in laws, they wont appreciate if we sacrifice our career to look after kids.. they will only appreciate us if we can settle our kids (somehow, be it maid, nanny, childcare), at the same time still earn an income to support the family..
and my father insisted me to continue working cuz he said, i should have my own career and life even after having kids.. and let my kids understand that mummy does not have all her time and life for them only, mummy needs to work hard to provide them with a better life. and kids will learn to survive and grow up more independently, at the same time they will learn to respect us more.. he's quite right cuz i have a friend who thinks his SAHM knows nothing and when his mother told him her biggest career is to bring him up, he feels that's nothing but her responsibility only...
i think there's no right or wrong.. i respect all the SAHMs and i feel that the time and bonding they have with their kids, is something we FTWM could never afford to have.. but still, i rather continue working..
hubby quit his job and went jobless for 5 months last year.. true that in a way #1 got to have better attention and i am totally care free and no need to worry when #1 is sick.. but financially, it's really not easy although my pay can support the family. now if i ask him to quit and look after kids, i am sure he will think twice already..
so i feel that as long as kids are big enough (1.5 years and above) and can go to childcare, should start working.. but when they are small and need tender care, while you dun have any other options, then yes stop working makes perfect sense.. just need to be prepared and don't get stressed up financially and emotionally...
annatequila
New Member
Stretch Mark cream
I have been using Topicrem since my 3rd month and it works well for me till now. I have been feeling the itch from time to time since 2 weeks back and the topicrem will be running out soon. I wonder is it my tummy is growing and expanding too fast hence the cream no longer works well for me. My tummy has increased 8 inches from pre-preg. Really give me a shock....worry I may not be able to slim down and lots of stretch mark after birth. I went to Watson and saw there are Palmer cream / and Palmer lotion. Wonder which one is bttr? Can anyone recommend a stretch mark cream better than topicrem?? Thanks.
I have been using Topicrem since my 3rd month and it works well for me till now. I have been feeling the itch from time to time since 2 weeks back and the topicrem will be running out soon. I wonder is it my tummy is growing and expanding too fast hence the cream no longer works well for me. My tummy has increased 8 inches from pre-preg. Really give me a shock....worry I may not be able to slim down and lots of stretch mark after birth. I went to Watson and saw there are Palmer cream / and Palmer lotion. Wonder which one is bttr? Can anyone recommend a stretch mark cream better than topicrem?? Thanks.
felicia_cao
New Member
Anna
maybe try the palmer lotion instead of cream, cuz texture is lighter and easier to apply..
i used clarins oil for my 1st pregnancy, got about 3-4 lines in purple color on my tummy around 37th week.. disappeared after delivery..
so this time round i didn't really use any stretch mark cream.. i think it's the genes, my mother has no stretch mark at all, so end up me and my sis got it during pregnancy but only a few light lines and all disappeared in the end..
but i will still start my clarins oil at about 7 months i think.. how much it really helps i also dunno..
maybe try the palmer lotion instead of cream, cuz texture is lighter and easier to apply..
i used clarins oil for my 1st pregnancy, got about 3-4 lines in purple color on my tummy around 37th week.. disappeared after delivery..
so this time round i didn't really use any stretch mark cream.. i think it's the genes, my mother has no stretch mark at all, so end up me and my sis got it during pregnancy but only a few light lines and all disappeared in the end..
but i will still start my clarins oil at about 7 months i think.. how much it really helps i also dunno..
Anna, I am alternating between Topicrem and Palmer's cream (organic version in a tube) which I bought earlier before the Topicrem. Topicrem works well for me and I like its light texture. Palmer's is not bad although much richer and has a strong cocoa smell. I heard that Clarin's is not bad, but the cost is much higher than Topicrem or Palmer's. Buy if you think it's worth the price. For me, I already had stretchmarks on my hips due to rapid weight gain/loss in my teens.. a few more lines don't make much difference.. haha. I just don't want lines on my tummy..
gdmaimai
Member
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annatequila
New Member
Thanks Felicia and Nattan. Someone recommended Mustela too. Wonder where to get Mustela?? So many choices....headache now.
palmers
Quite a few people have reported that they are 'allergic' to it. It caused them to have rashes! best to just buy 1 bottle & try it out, then if it's ok, then you can get more.
personally, Clarins oil didn't work for me. I was scratching like mad. maybe bcoz my skin needed moisturisation.
Nvr tried Mustela so can't comment.
But I still have itchy tummy. I just scratch lightly. Same thing with #1 but no stretch marks. Hopefully #2 won't give me any, coz I think my belly looks even bigger than #1's!
Quite a few people have reported that they are 'allergic' to it. It caused them to have rashes! best to just buy 1 bottle & try it out, then if it's ok, then you can get more.
personally, Clarins oil didn't work for me. I was scratching like mad. maybe bcoz my skin needed moisturisation.
Nvr tried Mustela so can't comment.
But I still have itchy tummy. I just scratch lightly. Same thing with #1 but no stretch marks. Hopefully #2 won't give me any, coz I think my belly looks even bigger than #1's!
SAHM
Hiaz.. never-ending struggle.
For me, Hubs wants me to stay home. He says that we won't need to depend on other people, & we don't let other people influence our kids' upbringing & character. No need to see other people's face. And the kids will bond closer too. my mum is super unhappy that I'll be staying home till #2 is at least 2.5 yrs. She feels I'll be better 'utilised' working, earning enough money to pay for their sch fees, maid, plus my own luxuries, my own time, my freedom, & still have enough left over.
For me, my mum was a working mum. But I didn't feel the 'respect' that Felicia was talking abt. She worked, left us with maids, the maids cooked.. & we're all not close to her at all. maybe she was extreme in that she didn't really make an effot to bond with us while she was home? I really dunno.
I think it depends on each family's dynamics also. Some kids will appreciate the mum being home. Others will be like Felicia's friend, look down on the mum. I guess we each have to find our own balance.
Maybe it's a matter of just try it out? I also wnet through this process of thinking, thinking.. then think until no outcome. So I decided to just take the plunge & leave it in God's hands. If cannot, then I can aws come back to work. not as if it's the pt of no return, you know? Those who enjoy it, & find it fulfilling to stay home, can by all means do so. Those who hate it, just come back to work lor.
Hiaz.. never-ending struggle.
For me, Hubs wants me to stay home. He says that we won't need to depend on other people, & we don't let other people influence our kids' upbringing & character. No need to see other people's face. And the kids will bond closer too. my mum is super unhappy that I'll be staying home till #2 is at least 2.5 yrs. She feels I'll be better 'utilised' working, earning enough money to pay for their sch fees, maid, plus my own luxuries, my own time, my freedom, & still have enough left over.
For me, my mum was a working mum. But I didn't feel the 'respect' that Felicia was talking abt. She worked, left us with maids, the maids cooked.. & we're all not close to her at all. maybe she was extreme in that she didn't really make an effot to bond with us while she was home? I really dunno.
I think it depends on each family's dynamics also. Some kids will appreciate the mum being home. Others will be like Felicia's friend, look down on the mum. I guess we each have to find our own balance.
Maybe it's a matter of just try it out? I also wnet through this process of thinking, thinking.. then think until no outcome. So I decided to just take the plunge & leave it in God's hands. If cannot, then I can aws come back to work. not as if it's the pt of no return, you know? Those who enjoy it, & find it fulfilling to stay home, can by all means do so. Those who hate it, just come back to work lor.
Jul, agree with you...every family has different dynamics and some people find more fulfillment working whereas some prefer to stay home. My mum was a career woman and she didn't become a SAHM till I was 12. Obviously, she is not the sort to stay home to wash bottles and change nappies. By then, I'd already grown much closer to my grandma (her MIL) and I didn't appreciate my mum suddenly staying home to lord over me. Our relationship became worse actually. In contrast, my MIL was a SAHM till her 3 sons went to uni. Then she got a job at a childcare centre and enjoyed a career there till the day she died. Her sons had a closer relationship with her than I had with my mum.
I guess family support is important. If both sides' parents are willing to look after the kids or if they prefer the mum to go back to work, then going back to work is a feasible option. If grandparents are not helpful with the kids, then it's really up to the parents to decide if sub-contracting childcare to a maid, infant/childcare is a more viable option than 1 parent staying home. Money is always a consideration of course. But I don't think it should be The consideration. Childhood will pass by in a twinkling of an eye. Once that's over, no amount of money can bring that back.
I guess family support is important. If both sides' parents are willing to look after the kids or if they prefer the mum to go back to work, then going back to work is a feasible option. If grandparents are not helpful with the kids, then it's really up to the parents to decide if sub-contracting childcare to a maid, infant/childcare is a more viable option than 1 parent staying home. Money is always a consideration of course. But I don't think it should be The consideration. Childhood will pass by in a twinkling of an eye. Once that's over, no amount of money can bring that back.
STRETCH MARK CREAM
personally i am using Clarins's both cream and oil. felt that it really help with the tightness and itchness. and so far, touch wood, no visible stretch mark. but i began to feel that stretch mark will only start showing themselves after our delivery.
likewise, im getting all itchy at other parts of body like arms, neck. applied vaseline moisturizer but more itchy! nivea ones very sticky, so out of question for me. any mums experience itchy skin with little bumps (beside tummy)?
PS: Clarin's product can go bbworld-beautybuy (not sure if i got the name correct) buy. much cheaper. =)
personally i am using Clarins's both cream and oil. felt that it really help with the tightness and itchness. and so far, touch wood, no visible stretch mark. but i began to feel that stretch mark will only start showing themselves after our delivery.
likewise, im getting all itchy at other parts of body like arms, neck. applied vaseline moisturizer but more itchy! nivea ones very sticky, so out of question for me. any mums experience itchy skin with little bumps (beside tummy)?
PS: Clarin's product can go bbworld-beautybuy (not sure if i got the name correct) buy. much cheaper. =)
Hi Jasmine,
For stretch mark cream, I am using body shop cocobutter, so far so go, I apply once a day after shower around tummy, my wrist line and thights... So far, no stretch mark or itch.
My cousin recommended to me. Is not very ex, so when apply don't need to be stingy.. I am about to first my first bottle after 2months.. That's 25bucks..
For stretch mark cream, I am using body shop cocobutter, so far so go, I apply once a day after shower around tummy, my wrist line and thights... So far, no stretch mark or itch.
My cousin recommended to me. Is not very ex, so when apply don't need to be stingy.. I am about to first my first bottle after 2months.. That's 25bucks..