Astro,
From the way you typed, you are wondering whether you should choose your kids over your career, but still I can sense the obvious hesitation there. Actually it's not easy to just give up like that, if you can pick up from where you left off a couple of years later, it's still quite alright. If not really need to consider properly. But to be frank, we can always choose to focus on career anytime during the next few decades but kids' childhood will not wait for us.
Actually I realized for most of the top students who are well-behaved, their mummies are usually not working or having flexi hour jobs. They spend a lot of time with their kids, which is something busy FTWM cannot do. Imagine leaving for work for 8am and reaching home at 7pm, how much time to spend with kids? At most 2 hours a day and it's actually self comfort that it's quality time, especially before the kids enter primary school. Sorry that I'm really frank cos I'm a FTWM and sometimes I spend long hours in sch till I feel fed up that I only see my girl for a while before she sleeps. If not for the job satisfaction I get from my students, I would have left the job long time ago.
My colleagues who are in their 50s and 60s have got kids who were from GEP, scholarship holders and all holding good university degrees. That's mainly cos they could leave sch at 1pm and spent the rest of the day teaching their own kids, thats what my colleagues admitted too. However from what I observed from my colleagues who still have kids in pri and sec sch, the kids aren't doing that well. They are just average scorers if not above average, definitely not the top scorers type. So we can easily guess the reasons. That is also why a few of my teacher frens have decided to give up their career to tend to the kids at home. Cos they won't want to spend their time teaching others' kids instead of their own.
I strongly believe there is no such things as "superwoman" in this society now,. If one is a high flyer in your company or organization, you are bound to work long hours, where is the time spent with your kids. These mummies can soar high in careers cos they have made their choices and whether they have the best of everything, they can judge for themselves and we can't say they are wrong too. People have diff priorities in life, and not everyone is suitable to be a SAHM, just like myself hehe.
But still, I do not prioritise my family and kids over my career. I've given up promotional opportunities since few years back and recently, at the same time seeing my peers getting promoted faster than me. Well, there is no regret or envy cos that is my personal choice and I'm happy with my job scope and status now. If I were to take up any management position, I would be in sch from 6plus in the morning till 6plus in the evening everyday, not forgetting to add, bringing work home as well. This is not the kind of life I want but yet I know I'm not suitable to be SAHM. I mentioned before I dun like child rearing duties like feeding and nappy changing, though I dun mind playing with my girl. I admit I dun have much maternal instincts, I focus more on the intellectual and character development of my girl, while my hubby really enjoys playing with her. I think my hubby is more suitable to stay at home than me as he does more housework and he cooks dinner everyday when he can but I hate to go near the stove lol. Plus he bathes my girl everyday. Though he earns more than me but not by that much, he covers almost all the expenses at home. That is why I can relax about taking no pay leave till end of next year after delivery. I think most importantly the couple must work together and have mutual understanding. My hubby let me choose what I wanna go in my career as long as I can cope with the family too. Just that I'm very sure I wouldn't want to have to have a nice job title in future, 6-7 digits lying in the bank, but with kids whom I'm not even close to. Think that will be my biggest regret in life.
Wow first time I type so much, hope I dun bore those who are reading.