(2010/07) July 2010 MTB
- Thread starter crystal~07
- Start date
Ladies, i really empathized with those that have to face the MIL & bb gender issue...what kind of traditional thinking is this to prefer boys over girls? I am glad there is no gender preference from my in-laws despite my hubby being the only son...Most importantly, bb must be healthy, we can carry them to term and deliver bb safely...that's all i want (am sure other MTBs here too)... [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]
Ethan_mum: I'm 1:242. Like you also, I was in the midst of devastation when I heard the news becos my #1 was ok and normal but when #2 result was bad. It also took us days to calm down and during my checkup on 2 Jan, we checked with our gynae again he assure us that the chances of DS is low and advised us to go for the Amino test still. Now just waiting for the day to come and we have a carefree cny.
Like autrumn said, we'll jia you for each other..
autrumn: so the needle wasn't that long as I imagine la.. okie, much better now.. But I will refrain myself for looking at the needle on that day.. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif]
Like autrumn said, we'll jia you for each other..
autrumn: so the needle wasn't that long as I imagine la.. okie, much better now.. But I will refrain myself for looking at the needle on that day.. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif]
vernie - yes yes! baby being healthy is the most important!! nowadays i just ignore whenever she mention boy. cannot be bothered to explain anymore. each time i go for checkup now she will come back and ask me know boy or girl already? SICKENING! you are blessed to have nice PIL who will stress u over baby gender [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]
bb_gen, i agree once we calm down, we just take things in our stride..my result is the worst leh 1:106 but i choose to believe my baby will be fine [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]
when doing the amnio, maybe u just focus on looking at the ultrasound (& not the needle)? think the actual procedure shouldn't take more than 1 min! [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]
when doing the amnio, maybe u just focus on looking at the ultrasound (& not the needle)? think the actual procedure shouldn't take more than 1 min! [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]
I dunno if what i am feeling is bb's movement! Sometimes is like soft twitching inside, i was thinking is it baby or maybe i too much gas/water. I read a book, we can sometimes lie down and put both hands on tummy, and try to visualize our baby inside. Instead of worrying, visualize that ur bb is kicking, smiling and heart beating strong. Your bb can feel your positiveness and grow well. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]
I have become very irritable easily nowadays. My hubby often say i nag alot esp over MIL stuffs. but actually i would prefer it if he listen to me complaining and pretend to agree with me (even if he doesnt) then i will feel much better. But when he says i am naggy it makes my mood even worse.
i dun care what pineapple, i eat anything now. all the tonics my MIL made is make me over-nourished. I am so scared baby will get very heaty. I had nose bleed yesterday. Maybe i have to pretend to puke when i take her tonics so i dun have to swallow them in.
I have become very irritable easily nowadays. My hubby often say i nag alot esp over MIL stuffs. but actually i would prefer it if he listen to me complaining and pretend to agree with me (even if he doesnt) then i will feel much better. But when he says i am naggy it makes my mood even worse.
i dun care what pineapple, i eat anything now. all the tonics my MIL made is make me over-nourished. I am so scared baby will get very heaty. I had nose bleed yesterday. Maybe i have to pretend to puke when i take her tonics so i dun have to swallow them in.
Re Bb's Gender issue
Though my gynae aldy hinted us that #2 is gonna be another girl. I intend, and also told my hb, not to disclose this news to my PIL as I want a peaceful CNY, do not want to invite those discussion of the gender issue among relatives.
I heard Pineapple tarts are okay as they're cooked. I will still eat but to a limit.
Though my gynae aldy hinted us that #2 is gonna be another girl. I intend, and also told my hb, not to disclose this news to my PIL as I want a peaceful CNY, do not want to invite those discussion of the gender issue among relatives.
I heard Pineapple tarts are okay as they're cooked. I will still eat but to a limit.
Hi MTBs,
I just read ecym posting abt pineapple tarts being high in sugar. Are we supposed to avoid sugary stuff? cos actually i hve been eating a lot of sweet stuff and i only like to drink sweet drinks. I hate the taste of plain water now cos of the metallic taste in the mouth.
Just concerned if I am taking in too much sugar. Moreover, I hve a cup of milo before I sleep every night.
I just read ecym posting abt pineapple tarts being high in sugar. Are we supposed to avoid sugary stuff? cos actually i hve been eating a lot of sweet stuff and i only like to drink sweet drinks. I hate the taste of plain water now cos of the metallic taste in the mouth.
Just concerned if I am taking in too much sugar. Moreover, I hve a cup of milo before I sleep every night.
Sweetkiss - if u feeling like butterfly fluttering inside u then should be baby movement [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]
Thou we can start to take tonics but its still good to take in moderation. and since you start to have nose bleed then better cut down taking for a while.i think you already start getting heaty
Thou we can start to take tonics but its still good to take in moderation. and since you start to have nose bleed then better cut down taking for a while.i think you already start getting heaty
astro : becos of this had a fight with my HB le ... he insist his mum can handle my confinement. anyway my HB insist, i will still shower my own bb clothing can separate wash in washing machine n sun them out... I really hate my HB insisting the tradition when resources in the market is so much available... not happy still can complain ... own family how to complain...
xbeanniex - u mean ur hubby expect you to do some household chorse like washing ur bb clothes in washing machine n sun them out???? u need a lot of rest during confinement and if ur mil is not in a very good health then there is limited to what she can do..will she be cooking for u? taking care of ur bb? bathe for ur bb? and she still got to do the household chores. maybe u can explain to him on how the whole confinement is about and how much rest you need and how much work his mother need to do
astro : my HB insist my MIL to do confinement for me, but my MIL is not in gd health, indirectly, i will not feel secure letting my MIL handle my bb at all. and on top of all these, she still need to do the washing for me, end up i might be doing all those myself which my HB says i m crazy to think of finding CL ... i m so pissed n vex n thinking i may slip into depression unknowingly ...
xbeanniex / sweetkiss / autrumn:
well different infant care centre is charing different price.
I'm paying $250 per month after gov subsidy.
when u check out the price from the centre, the amt is the original price.
working mum subsidy is $600 as for non-working mum is $300 for infant.
You can find the Child Care / Infant care centre from the link below. It show the fees what they teaching. (fee shown are before subsidy)
http://app.mcys.gov.sg/web/serv_dss_disability_main.asp?Services_Id=4
This link show the subsidy for working n non-working mum.
http://fcd.ecitizen.gov.sg/FCD/Templates/FCD-GenericContentTemplate.aspx?NRMODE=Published&NRORIGINALURL=%2fMarriageNParenthoodPackage%2fFAQs%2fFAQs%2bon%2bEnhancing%2bCentre-Based%2bCare%2ehtm&NRNODEGUID=%7bB20CE834-F5F5-49D2-94B5-C3CB2BC2ED61%7d&NRCACHEHINT=Guest#What is the new infant care subsidy?
well different infant care centre is charing different price.
I'm paying $250 per month after gov subsidy.
when u check out the price from the centre, the amt is the original price.
working mum subsidy is $600 as for non-working mum is $300 for infant.
You can find the Child Care / Infant care centre from the link below. It show the fees what they teaching. (fee shown are before subsidy)
http://app.mcys.gov.sg/web/serv_dss_disability_main.asp?Services_Id=4
This link show the subsidy for working n non-working mum.
http://fcd.ecitizen.gov.sg/FCD/Templates/FCD-GenericContentTemplate.aspx?NRMODE=Published&NRORIGINALURL=%2fMarriageNParenthoodPackage%2fFAQs%2fFAQs%2bon%2bEnhancing%2bCentre-Based%2bCare%2ehtm&NRNODEGUID=%7bB20CE834-F5F5-49D2-94B5-C3CB2BC2ED61%7d&NRCACHEHINT=Guest#What is the new infant care subsidy?
Astro_Gal: I also have the same feeling as you on the belly button pain. I sometime felt like the belly button being pull tightly untill very uncomfortable or a sharp pain. I dun feel cramp.. normally is sharp pains but will go away rather quickly when i change my position of lying down or sitting.
With regards to gender of BB, if I know the person is expecting boy and that person irritates me alot, i will say BB is a girl and just smile and walk off. Don't care whether it's real or not.
Pineapple tarts: Yummy.. my fav CNY goodie... I told hubby these few months I also dun take sweet stuff including soft drink but CNY, I think I will let loose abit and eat some sweet things and have soft drinks. Like what the rest of the ladies say, Moderation is the key word.
With regards to gender of BB, if I know the person is expecting boy and that person irritates me alot, i will say BB is a girl and just smile and walk off. Don't care whether it's real or not.
Pineapple tarts: Yummy.. my fav CNY goodie... I told hubby these few months I also dun take sweet stuff including soft drink but CNY, I think I will let loose abit and eat some sweet things and have soft drinks. Like what the rest of the ladies say, Moderation is the key word.
woah..this thread is moving very fast.
but very "informative". Think I also need to cut down on my sugar level...been eating a lot of sugary stuff to incite my taste bud too.
xbeaniex >> what's the main reason why your HB dun want to hire a CL? Is it cuz of cost? Worse come to worse, you say u pay for it yourself lah...then if your MIL wants to help & be part of it, can complement the CL.
but very "informative". Think I also need to cut down on my sugar level...been eating a lot of sugary stuff to incite my taste bud too.
xbeaniex >> what's the main reason why your HB dun want to hire a CL? Is it cuz of cost? Worse come to worse, you say u pay for it yourself lah...then if your MIL wants to help & be part of it, can complement the CL.
ecym:
I went to Ci You Infant Care Centre at Whampoa.
Found out from my friend who used to send their son there, but they withdraw cos grandparent feel so heartpain when they see their grandson crying.
same as u, i did check out other centres before i found this, i was like huh, so ex, might as well i find one nanny, which is abt the same price. lucky i found this n the best is near my work place. i'm working at balestier.
I went to Ci You Infant Care Centre at Whampoa.
Found out from my friend who used to send their son there, but they withdraw cos grandparent feel so heartpain when they see their grandson crying.
same as u, i did check out other centres before i found this, i was like huh, so ex, might as well i find one nanny, which is abt the same price. lucky i found this n the best is near my work place. i'm working at balestier.
mrslong : this one is in mind... thou i dont earn much but start to put money aside will have enough for then. my HB ah ... dead brain lor... becos he nvr heard of any CL doing for ppl and the Jamu massage he also just heard from his rich frds... he listen n trust others just like his mum lor ...
xbeaniex >> your HB never heard of people engaging a CL? aiyo...maybe he shld go ask around more pple.
but dun stress yourself too much over this. As long as there's someone (even if it's just your MIL) helping you during your confinement, it's better than none @ all [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]
but dun stress yourself too much over this. As long as there's someone (even if it's just your MIL) helping you during your confinement, it's better than none @ all [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]
i rather none at all then i can plan for CL to do for me as confinement mth is very crucial to woman just gave birth ... health, body, figure... everything got to tune back ... my MIL now doing for her daughter like not doing like that lor ... her daughter dun seems to have enuff rest ... wake up few times a night to feed bb... etc ... kaoz ...
yoyoblue
Member
Dear Mummies
At least some of you still got inlaw to come and kepo .. For me, i am the most unlucky one .. No inlaw, no mum and no CL to help me..
From start 1st son till 2nd son i come back from hospital start to wash clothes vacuum house ,mop house cook for myself and shower baby .. Hubby comes back from work than i rest .. He will do the rest cleaning up toilet a i am fussy about toilet cleaniness,iron clothes and fold clothes if there is any to be done ..
At least some of you still got inlaw to come and kepo .. For me, i am the most unlucky one .. No inlaw, no mum and no CL to help me..
From start 1st son till 2nd son i come back from hospital start to wash clothes vacuum house ,mop house cook for myself and shower baby .. Hubby comes back from work than i rest .. He will do the rest cleaning up toilet a i am fussy about toilet cleaniness,iron clothes and fold clothes if there is any to be done ..
yoyoblue
Member
Morning Mummies, I was wondering if we can also connect via facebook .. As after we give birth sure all of us will be busy with our own world .. Do add me [email protected]
xbeanniex - don stress urself too much at the moment. Try to talk to your husband again when the mood is good 
ample rest during confinement is very important. if not just engage a day time confinemnet while ur mil help up in the night.
Site - i salute u manz. you have to do so much things during confinement!! but u must rem to get lots of rest leh. y not engage a day time CL to help u out?
ample rest during confinement is very important. if not just engage a day time confinemnet while ur mil help up in the night. Site - i salute u manz. you have to do so much things during confinement!! but u must rem to get lots of rest leh. y not engage a day time CL to help u out?
D queen : yup ... staying with IL... Last night my HB cook simple dinner for me to eat then he placed the plates next to the stoves instead of the table, i ask him he still can tell me ... "see urself lor, so many ants" I go back to room n tell him straight... "so many ants on the table no one bothers... still wan me to do my confinement here with so many rodents sharing with me !?" he ask me to put every nursing stuffs in our own room... haiz ...
Siti: You are really superb just like my mum. My mum even had to do that when she gone thru C sec for my bro. Wonder how she can tahan with doing the housework immediately after surgery. I think I will be rolling in pain in bed for one week.
Ladies: I just need to vent my frustration out. So pls bear with me.
I had a little argument with my hubby yesterday. He makes me feel like I am a terrible mummy to be. In the car while driving back home, I was telling him about the comments on infant care in the forum. I just simply make a comment that if every mth pay $250 for infant care, i think it is even cheaper than your mum employing a maid to take care of BB in her house. Then he was like a little piss off about my comment.
Then I went on to tell him that it's also not nice that father in law had to be the one looking after the grandchild just becos he is semi retired. Imagine if he wants to go out with friends also cannot. Like very poor thing. Then I dun feel safe leaving BB with maid alone at home. He got even more pissed and told me that there's only so much we could worry about. Even put infant child care also got risks. I understand that.
So I went on to say that even I let my father in law and the maid take care of BB, i only allow it till BB is old enough to join playgroup and I will start enrolling BB into playgroup for a few hours everyday. Then when BB is big enough to attend nursery school, I will enrol BB into full day child care.
After hearing what I say, he got rather frustrated and say I just don't want his parents to take care of BB right? Why can't I be more relax? Why do I have to think so far? Next you will be telling me you wan to enrol the kid in some prestigious schools and also alot of extracurriculum classes which you say you would not before we have a kid. Then he went on to say that now he doesn't even know whether he wan another kid cause Singapore is so KS. I got pretty upset.
When i reach home, i went to the bedroom to cry. I feel so hurt. Only when I cried then he calmed down and was willing to listen to what I have to say.
I told him that.. is it wrong for me to inform you about what I had plan for the kid? You are the kid's daddy, if I dun discuss with you, who do I discuss it with? Another man? Moreover I want to tell you now what i had plan is because I wan you to know that I dun wish that you think that BB will be taken care by your parents for a long time till the kid goes primary school.
Moreover, I know that grandparents will treat grandchild 100 times better than treating their own kids. So cannot use the way our parents treat us and say no, my parents would never spoiled the kids. I looked at the way his nephew is being treated, I scared my kid will be like him. Whenever i see the nephew, i felt like taking him into my hand and teach him some manners and slapping anyone who gets in my way. But who am I to do so?
Unfortunately or fortunately, this kid is going to be the first grandchild and first great grandchild. The chances of being spoilt rotten is very high because I am one too and I gone through it. My mum make a decision to move out of my grandparents place is also because she scared I am spoilt rotten.
I also point to my hubby and say look at yourself.. you don't even wash plates, or do any housework when staying with your parents, after we married and move out, no car to drive you ard, you get upset, every weekend go your house to eat dinner, your dad had to come all the way to our house just to drive us to his place so that you need not take taxi. I don't wan my kid to be like that.
I also told him that I didn't say I need my kids to learn how to dance, how to pay musical instruments, going for abacus class. I am just saying that I think my kid needs to learn to be independent and have a good basic start. I don't want him to go to Kindergarden 1 and be laugh by other kids for not knowing the basic stuff.
Am I wrong to plan so far ahead for the kid? Am I such a terrible mummy to ensure my kid have the basic skill?
Ladies: I just need to vent my frustration out. So pls bear with me.
I had a little argument with my hubby yesterday. He makes me feel like I am a terrible mummy to be. In the car while driving back home, I was telling him about the comments on infant care in the forum. I just simply make a comment that if every mth pay $250 for infant care, i think it is even cheaper than your mum employing a maid to take care of BB in her house. Then he was like a little piss off about my comment.
Then I went on to tell him that it's also not nice that father in law had to be the one looking after the grandchild just becos he is semi retired. Imagine if he wants to go out with friends also cannot. Like very poor thing. Then I dun feel safe leaving BB with maid alone at home. He got even more pissed and told me that there's only so much we could worry about. Even put infant child care also got risks. I understand that.
So I went on to say that even I let my father in law and the maid take care of BB, i only allow it till BB is old enough to join playgroup and I will start enrolling BB into playgroup for a few hours everyday. Then when BB is big enough to attend nursery school, I will enrol BB into full day child care.
After hearing what I say, he got rather frustrated and say I just don't want his parents to take care of BB right? Why can't I be more relax? Why do I have to think so far? Next you will be telling me you wan to enrol the kid in some prestigious schools and also alot of extracurriculum classes which you say you would not before we have a kid. Then he went on to say that now he doesn't even know whether he wan another kid cause Singapore is so KS. I got pretty upset.
When i reach home, i went to the bedroom to cry. I feel so hurt. Only when I cried then he calmed down and was willing to listen to what I have to say.
I told him that.. is it wrong for me to inform you about what I had plan for the kid? You are the kid's daddy, if I dun discuss with you, who do I discuss it with? Another man? Moreover I want to tell you now what i had plan is because I wan you to know that I dun wish that you think that BB will be taken care by your parents for a long time till the kid goes primary school.
Moreover, I know that grandparents will treat grandchild 100 times better than treating their own kids. So cannot use the way our parents treat us and say no, my parents would never spoiled the kids. I looked at the way his nephew is being treated, I scared my kid will be like him. Whenever i see the nephew, i felt like taking him into my hand and teach him some manners and slapping anyone who gets in my way. But who am I to do so?
Unfortunately or fortunately, this kid is going to be the first grandchild and first great grandchild. The chances of being spoilt rotten is very high because I am one too and I gone through it. My mum make a decision to move out of my grandparents place is also because she scared I am spoilt rotten.
I also point to my hubby and say look at yourself.. you don't even wash plates, or do any housework when staying with your parents, after we married and move out, no car to drive you ard, you get upset, every weekend go your house to eat dinner, your dad had to come all the way to our house just to drive us to his place so that you need not take taxi. I don't wan my kid to be like that.
I also told him that I didn't say I need my kids to learn how to dance, how to pay musical instruments, going for abacus class. I am just saying that I think my kid needs to learn to be independent and have a good basic start. I don't want him to go to Kindergarden 1 and be laugh by other kids for not knowing the basic stuff.
Am I wrong to plan so far ahead for the kid? Am I such a terrible mummy to ensure my kid have the basic skill?
hi ann,
sorry to hear that but am glad..at least at the end of the night, your HB calmed down alittle & listen to you.
actually, you are not wrong to plan ahead. We women tends to like to plan ahead, unlike guys...they r usually more laid back.
in fact i think it's really good for kids to join playgroup or go nursery...they tends to learn things faster & are more apt at "socialising"...most importantly, they know how to SHARE their toys with others.
actually for your FIL to help take care of the BB. is it he volunteer?
my PILs volunteered to take care of our BB but i also hv my concerns (i.e. scare spoil the kid, overfeed my BB, etc) but I told my HB, maybe can consider putting the BB there on weekdays till Fri, then weekends stay with us. Or worse come to worse, i become a SAHM.
I dun wan the BB to be closer to the grandparents than to the parents.
Anyway, childcare centre, playgroup or nursery hv half day kind rite? So can consider those...than your FIL can hv his free time, while your kid can learn new things in "school".
sorry to hear that but am glad..at least at the end of the night, your HB calmed down alittle & listen to you.
actually, you are not wrong to plan ahead. We women tends to like to plan ahead, unlike guys...they r usually more laid back.
in fact i think it's really good for kids to join playgroup or go nursery...they tends to learn things faster & are more apt at "socialising"...most importantly, they know how to SHARE their toys with others.
actually for your FIL to help take care of the BB. is it he volunteer?
my PILs volunteered to take care of our BB but i also hv my concerns (i.e. scare spoil the kid, overfeed my BB, etc) but I told my HB, maybe can consider putting the BB there on weekdays till Fri, then weekends stay with us. Or worse come to worse, i become a SAHM.
I dun wan the BB to be closer to the grandparents than to the parents.
Anyway, childcare centre, playgroup or nursery hv half day kind rite? So can consider those...than your FIL can hv his free time, while your kid can learn new things in "school".
yoyoblue
Member
Dear Ann
When the bb arrived everyone will be excited but once u finised your maternity leaved .. things will be slowly back to normal.. Trust me .. I got 2 sons ...
Perharps you can talk again with hubby.
Me too my hubby wants to sent my bb to his mother in Malaysia .. So imagine i cannot see my bb .. Once a month than see. DOnt tooooo stresss about it .. Give hints here and there .. SLowly your hubby can listen to you ...
AFTER all we are the parent .. We know wats best for the kids
When the bb arrived everyone will be excited but once u finised your maternity leaved .. things will be slowly back to normal.. Trust me .. I got 2 sons ...
Perharps you can talk again with hubby.
Me too my hubby wants to sent my bb to his mother in Malaysia .. So imagine i cannot see my bb .. Once a month than see. DOnt tooooo stresss about it .. Give hints here and there .. SLowly your hubby can listen to you ...
AFTER all we are the parent .. We know wats best for the kids
yoyoblue
Member
Astro Gal - I prefer have privacy .. Especilally breastfeeding.. i dont find comfort if there is ppl watching me while i breastfeed.. Newborn are easy to take care they sleep almost 75% .. Feed them and change them sure no problem . Unless BB is colic than we might have problem ..
So me must pray that our bb not a colic baby ..
When Baby sleep we sleep.. When baby wakes up we feed milk and change. If Bb stil never sleep put bb in stroller than talk to bb while we do house work..
It works for my 2 boys
So me must pray that our bb not a colic baby ..
When Baby sleep we sleep.. When baby wakes up we feed milk and change. If Bb stil never sleep put bb in stroller than talk to bb while we do house work..
It works for my 2 boys
siti: you're amazing! must bow down to you man!
ethan_mum: nothing wrong with a baby girl born in the year of tiger. I'm a tiger and gonna have another tiger [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif] and my mum is born in the year of the dragon and she's gonna be my CL. if my ILs are the traditional type, sure they'll be worried for my hubby - he's a snake...hahaha
xbeanniex: maybe you can try going through your hubby's frens on the CL thingy, since he listens to them?
ethan_mum: nothing wrong with a baby girl born in the year of tiger. I'm a tiger and gonna have another tiger [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif] and my mum is born in the year of the dragon and she's gonna be my CL. if my ILs are the traditional type, sure they'll be worried for my hubby - he's a snake...hahaha
xbeanniex: maybe you can try going through your hubby's frens on the CL thingy, since he listens to them?
ecym
Well-Known Member
Hi Ann...
understand your plight.
I share the same worry as you when i am pregnant. As this is my PIL's first grandchild, I very hesitant to let them take care. That is why I never wanted to asked them if they want to take care of our bb. I've long decided that the child will go to infant care. My Hb shares my worries as he felt that he's a spoilt child too! Before married, he does not need to do any household chores because there is a maid at home. Only after we have our own flat, he began to learn all these basic tasks! Besides, my MIL has not taken care of any babies for decades as both her sons were raised by relatives.
Until two weeks ago, my MIL told my HB that she wants to quit and take care of her grandchild. My HB straight away told her NO! and just tell her straight in her face that she will spoil the child like she does for our dog! (mind you, that's before the news actually was made known to me!) Later in the evening, HB told me about his mother's plan. I thought about it and discuss with him. Finally we agreed to let her take care for the first year and we will observe how the child will behave...
But one thing I know for sure. Do what's best for your child! Given such a young age with low immunity - one to one care is most ideal! I have never wanted nannies as we cant be sure how's the character of that nanny would be (unless she's close relative la). since MIL has volunteered to help, yes we will let her take care but monitor closely lor. At least will have to lay down the basic rules like what's ok and what's not ok with her first ba.
understand your plight.
I share the same worry as you when i am pregnant. As this is my PIL's first grandchild, I very hesitant to let them take care. That is why I never wanted to asked them if they want to take care of our bb. I've long decided that the child will go to infant care. My Hb shares my worries as he felt that he's a spoilt child too! Before married, he does not need to do any household chores because there is a maid at home. Only after we have our own flat, he began to learn all these basic tasks! Besides, my MIL has not taken care of any babies for decades as both her sons were raised by relatives.
Until two weeks ago, my MIL told my HB that she wants to quit and take care of her grandchild. My HB straight away told her NO! and just tell her straight in her face that she will spoil the child like she does for our dog!
(mind you, that's before the news actually was made known to me!) Later in the evening, HB told me about his mother's plan. I thought about it and discuss with him. Finally we agreed to let her take care for the first year and we will observe how the child will behave... But one thing I know for sure. Do what's best for your child! Given such a young age with low immunity - one to one care is most ideal! I have never wanted nannies as we cant be sure how's the character of that nanny would be (unless she's close relative la). since MIL has volunteered to help, yes we will let her take care but monitor closely lor. At least will have to lay down the basic rules like what's ok and what's not ok with her first ba.
mrslong: Ya.. guys are so laid back. I told him I bet you don't even do any research about BB at all.. I bet you do more research on your car. Then he told me he just doesn't plan so far.. the furthest he plan is till BB is 6 mths old. So I ask him tell me your plan about BB till he/she is 6mths old. He couldn't say anything about this plan of his.
My FIL didn't say he volunteer. My FIL is a very easy going person. If my MIL say something, most likely he will go along with it. Even the plan of my FIL taking care of the BB together with a maid is my MIL who told my hubby abt it. So sometime I really do feel bad about him having to look after BB for us just because he is easy going and semi retired.
I told hubby I will bring the BB back every night and send BB to in law house every morning. I need my time with my BB. I know it is going to take a toll on me cause I have to work during the day and look after BB at night. But I rather sacrifice to ensure my kid is more closer to us than to grandparents.
I prefer my kid to be more independent and sociable. My uncle's kids is one of the example who doesn't go playgroup or nursery.. they cry and cry loudly everytime anyone goes to their house. As if we wanna kidnap them and sell. They stick to the maid so closely that they refuse anyone else. These kind of kids are not well liked. After they started kindergarden, their attitude change to so much better.
My FIL didn't say he volunteer. My FIL is a very easy going person. If my MIL say something, most likely he will go along with it. Even the plan of my FIL taking care of the BB together with a maid is my MIL who told my hubby abt it. So sometime I really do feel bad about him having to look after BB for us just because he is easy going and semi retired.
I told hubby I will bring the BB back every night and send BB to in law house every morning. I need my time with my BB. I know it is going to take a toll on me cause I have to work during the day and look after BB at night. But I rather sacrifice to ensure my kid is more closer to us than to grandparents.
I prefer my kid to be more independent and sociable. My uncle's kids is one of the example who doesn't go playgroup or nursery.. they cry and cry loudly everytime anyone goes to their house. As if we wanna kidnap them and sell. They stick to the maid so closely that they refuse anyone else. These kind of kids are not well liked. After they started kindergarden, their attitude change to so much better.
Siti: Send your BB to Malaysia.. No way.. like that your BB would call your MIL mummy instead of you. Maybe don't even know who you are or think you are just some auntie who come to visit once a month.
Ya.. after i cried and explain to him last night, he understands my way of thinking much better. I told him too bad we live in Singapore where alot of parents are KS. So we got no choice, we also have to be KS abit in order to ensure our kid know even the basic stuff.
He even told me we can teach the basic stuff to our kid on our own. I told him look at the time you spend with our furkids.. that is the time i think you will spend with your kid. It is never going to be more than that lo. I think the time we spend in office is more than the time we will get to see our kid awake.
Ya.. after i cried and explain to him last night, he understands my way of thinking much better. I told him too bad we live in Singapore where alot of parents are KS. So we got no choice, we also have to be KS abit in order to ensure our kid know even the basic stuff.
He even told me we can teach the basic stuff to our kid on our own. I told him look at the time you spend with our furkids.. that is the time i think you will spend with your kid. It is never going to be more than that lo. I think the time we spend in office is more than the time we will get to see our kid awake.
ANN : free we come out have out on session of relax without the man... I also say abt the same thing to my HB ystd n spark off lightings n thunder... "just don't want his parents to take care of BB right?" Hahaha i kena this one too... again the same thing like wat siti mentioned "We women tends to like to plan ahead, unlike guys...they r usually more laid back" <--- I hate this... y must last minute when able to plan ahead even when inbetween got hippcups the family still got contingency plan to back up... I dont want my life with kids to halt like the Wheel at Marina South...
miss_shann
Member
My MIL is also getting ready to take care of the bb, but she doesn't take care of bb for ages and not even to her own kids, she sent them to nanny and only fetched them home during weekend. Even my husband told me that his mum doesn't know how to take care. Same worries like some of you here, scared that my kid will be spoilt by grandparents, knowing how they treat my niece.. haih...
but then, infant care will be quite expensive if not subsidized rite, $1500? i won't spend $$ like this.. would rather engage an experienced nanny, then will worry whether the nanny is good/bad.. really depends on your luck.
I came across www.ppnanny.com.sg/ (pp change to bb, dunno why we can't post this here) they help us to engage nanny near our area.
If my PIL can get a place nearby us, then maybe i can let them take care when i am not free, if not i won't send my kid to their place and only take baby home during weekend. BIG NO. i will cry T_T
but then, infant care will be quite expensive if not subsidized rite, $1500? i won't spend $$ like this.. would rather engage an experienced nanny, then will worry whether the nanny is good/bad.. really depends on your luck.
I came across www.ppnanny.com.sg/ (pp change to bb, dunno why we can't post this here) they help us to engage nanny near our area.
If my PIL can get a place nearby us, then maybe i can let them take care when i am not free, if not i won't send my kid to their place and only take baby home during weekend. BIG NO. i will cry T_T