Regarding China :
You know, for the last 3 odd years staying here and the 5 years in Middle East and Seoul, I always seems to prefer to hang out with the locals than expats. It is not a conscious decision to hang out with the locals , just that it is interesting for me to learn about their culture and ways of life even though most of the time, I may not approved of it (ver versus, they sometimes think I am nuts I know) . I hate the traffic here and still do with a vengence, the standards here are just simply not up to par with Singapore and I know the stupidest thing for me to do is to ever try to change another person's way. Either one accept or get out, that is how I see it . For instance I told my husband he is never going to GET IT. His mistake is to think he is better, more superior and he can change his Chinese counterpart at work., 3 odd years later, he shake his head and just say it is like moving a mountain. I told him, he is a mere French pitting against 3000 years old history and 1 billion people, China is going to be 2nd weathliest country soon and what does this tell him ?
Now, this 2 months , my dad is here with me and he loves to read newspaper, so he always go and get the Shanghai Daily. I , I did not even know this paper exist! I do not have time to read the papers or watch news TV because I am always working. In some ways, I live in ignorance bliss, I did not know what the hell is going on in China until I start to read the newspaper. I was horrified. Several times last weeks, I found myself reading and then turn to my Ayi and exclaimed with disgust " why you people like this?" How can you all not be more morally conscious ?? Ayi just kept quiet. I fret, I grumble, my mood foul, I was paranoid, I was so negative. Then I caught myself and wonder WTF. Why am I like this? Why suddenly I am so harsh on my local friends? Why I become so worrisome? Because I read the newspaper. Now,reading it is good as I am more aware of what is happening but at the same time, I must take it with a grain of salt. I know if I say this, I will come across as cold as a witch but after hanging around with the locals here for these years, I really think the little girl who got knock down by the vans are really really tragically unlucky. See , in China, 80% they love kids, I am not joking, They really love kids and I see how the locals here take such good care of their kids, it shame me sometimes. So to have 18 people who walk pass that little girl , it is really astounding because I mean… if it is an old man or young chap, I am not surprise but a 2 year old??? Really really weird.. Then again I am in Shanghai so perhaps it is really an unmoral city in the south. I cannot speak for them but just pray hard this will not happened again.. it broke my heart really as I cannot imagine if it happens to my little girl, it will destroy me.
Then I read about recall of food and high levels of bacteria found in bubble tea, I warn my friends all not to drink, I stop drinking and frown at my favorite vendor, wondering if he is one of the culprit but then I realized if whole of China is to be tested to see if their food is clean, trust me, only 0.01 % will pass . I still drink but I choose the warm ones that does not require ice and avoid fruity ones. But I am happy to chat with my bubble tea vendor again with a smile. Then the placenta, not surprised, these people are so dumb to buy them online, fools will be fools . On and on , the thing is.. for a giant country, 1 billion people interacting with each other, there will be at least 4 billions outcome. The probability of ANYTHING to happen WILL happen. It is what makes this country amazing. Until now, I can say, I am never bored for a single minute. I am angry, happy, sad, annoy etc but not bored, unlike SG / France / Seoul, I was damn bored out of my tears. There are many amazing things happening here which makes me happy to see. I see better service, cleaner cabs, cleaner, food, more and more blue cloudy days than last year, amazing online services that makes me want to cry. I mean I can buy a handphone, an ipad, a washing machine and get this a WINDMILL for my friend just online. It is not the fact that it is consumer friendly as hell here that makes SH nice to stay but the fact these people are learning, evolving, I am a witness now in it's growth. From a business standpoint, I can only stand up and applaud these fast thinkers.
The people here, I am indebt to some, to my friend who is a post office worker who earns SGD 400 a month, his mum on learning I am pregnant and alone here, boiled chicken for me, the chicken, she took an 1 hour bus to the rural area to buy for me. She made it for me every week for 3 months. She cycle in the rain to deliver it to me. Nothing I do can ever repay this woman kindness. My postal office friends, always helps me when I have packages to send and I am too pregnant to carry them I call and they come in a jiffy. My Ayi, I think her heart is more broken than mine whenever Arwen is sick. She is more defensive than me should someone say something bad about Arwen. She cooks better meal for Arwen than I could ever do, My Ayi who rope in her daughter to help me when my work is too much. My other local friends, always willing to help whenever I need them. Until, now, they ask for nothing. In fact I , in turn,question myself , why do I always expect people to want something when they help me? It reflect on me I feel. I am not trusting , not them. I am greedy, not them, I am calculative, not them, I am arrogant, not them etc. I now learn how to accept help with grace and thanks instead of worrying if these people want anything from me.
Maybe I am blessed that so far I met good people but I believe there are way way more good people than bad. I cannot let a 40 pages daily newspaper with 75% bad news win, I must always look for the good in people cause that is what I want people to look for when they look at me. I am very aware of the bad points here in China but I know sometimes good intentions and ways is the road to hell , thing is to have faith and sometimes things have a way of righting itself in the end.
When I go to France next year, I know I will meet with another culture and the challenges, trust me, the French culture is as bizarre too and already I am not agreeing a lot with what my in laws are saying about raising a kid but that is another story. But I be damn sure not to read the newspaper there [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]
Anyway, will just leave things in the hands of God. 