(2010/01) January 2010 mtb

pauline>for fiction books, u can just drop them at any libraries. They have a collection box for it. Its meant for a project that's something like a book club. Can't rem the exact name :eek:

 


Xin, haha I agree with u on zhi ye bing at home. I always nag at hubby n teaching Chris on how to improve 'processes', add value n reduce waste. In fact Chris has been hearing me preach at work while in my tummy on lean management. Even my CEO who visited me at delivery suite told me to be efficient n lean by delivering faster. All the nurses bursted into laughter while I suffered strong contraction pain!

 
cocoMama : sometimes there r 2 sides of the coin.



Althou I am FTWM but I always feel I hv NO LIFE after giving birth. Everyday same old routine - wake up go to work, after work come back look after bb. Only hv some time left after bb sleep.

By then so late liao, then next morn hv to wake up early (or in the middle of the nite still disturb by bb).

Wkend also look after bb. No personal time for any other stuff.

No time to shop ! Everywhere we go juz look at bb stuff.

If I take leave then I am expected to look after bb.



I also feel after giving birth, I dun care abt dressing up anymore also. Imagine I hv lots of bottoms (like skirts & jeans/bermudas) I cannot wear becos put on weight at my hip.....;p

Only late last yr after I stop bf then I try to go facial or body massage occassionaly (maybe once every 2 mths).



Sometimes I tell myself maybe I can be SAHM but then again I dun feel like or cannot as firstly no my 'own' income to buy watever I wat & secondly my HB not like earning alot leh & we still hv to pay our HDB loan - cannot afford to live on 1 income leh....;p



Of course I hv lots of MIL & SIL issues also....[IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif]

Wat to travel / take a short trip also troublesome & some issues....[IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif]

Only recently in early Mar, manage to go TW after not able to travel for abt 2yrs.....;p

But tell u - we hv to pay MIL additional $300 to take care of bb for that 1 week (that's on top on her monthly allowances & bb allowances) !

Tell u if we wat MIL to take care of bb juz 1 overnight so that both of us can hv couple life outside, need to pay her wan !

SIL also wld make lots of noise also.



Anyway feel whether SAHM or FTWM or SAHWM or wat, all not easy wan.

Sometimes I feel no baby life better but sometimes look at my little girl so cute & small that yr heart will melt too.....;p

 
TYL,

I was typing on the MRT back [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]



Mstan, some MILs are like that. My MIL looks after my nephew since birth and he is in Pri 6 now. She has this mutual understanding with her daughter that she or her hubby needs to return from work before 7pm, regardless MIL has any appts a not. I used to be her back up to pick up my nephew when they cannot return on time. This is also one of the reasons why I prefer my mum to look after Chris as she is very accomodating and understanding.



Hubby and I are gg for holiday in May and her immediate response was 'Go and I'll look after Chris for u. Dun worry.' Haha, so now she is bringing Chris to HK for the whole mth of May, staying at my bro's place.

 
yuki>your mom is so nice lor. My mom loves Ayden a lot too but he's so active that she really needs the break. So, I always try to rush home after work to take over.

 
yuki : yr mom so gd ?

Yr mom bringing bb to HK for 1 mth ? So long ? Stay with relative for 1 mth ? Then both of u can hv personal time for 1 whole mth liao.....;p



Hey, how I wish 1 pink day my MIL will said she will bring my girl up to stay with her lor....even 1 nite also gd....wish wish hard hard & may not come true wan......;p

 
Btw mummies, anyone know where to get those cheap cheap portable handy small vacuum cleaner (ard $10-$20) use battery, no wire/plug ?

Last time used to see pple 'setting up their own table' outside shops/supermkt & sell wan.

 
mstan> there are always two sides to a coin. i tend to agree with pinktulip that if you don't wish for it, you won't feel disappointed loh..



pinktulip> your writing style very familiar leh.. but then i don't recognise the nick wor..

 
YL,

I can tell that your mum loves Adyen a lot, rem u had some challenges to get Ayden to sleep in the new house and was looking for PoPo right? This shows how close they are! [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif] Each day I aim to knock off on time to relieve my mum too. You know, she still insists to cook for us every night despite having a tiring day looking after Chris. Sometimes shoo me go home early by taking over the washing of dishes from me. Our mother is the BEST!



Mstan,

My bro is working in HK so they will be staying at his place. Haha, I better ask my bro if he is charging my son rental fees. Also mus put a disclaimer I am not responsible for any damages made my naughty Chris [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

 
Yl, true, but I think should be ok bah, no matter what, usd is still higher than sgd so that will help to boost your single income. Hmm, think car licence is vital in USA esp grocery shopping but since they do left hand drive there, maybe L can learn there directly. It is a good opp, hope L gives you 100% support. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]



if you do go there for long term, Ayden will learn to speak with American accent. So cute. hope I get to visit you too. I have never been to US yet. Always put off by the super long plane ride. :p



Yuki, your mum is very nice. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]



Mamad, i understand, me too, but I will definitely want my gals to stay near me so that I can walk over n help them with their babies. If not feasible, then they have to drop off their kids at my place but being near is always good. Keke, I think very far. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

 
yuki>she does. I'm v lucky to have good family support whether its from my mom or from my ILs. That's part of why the move is so difficult both hubby n I feel bad for taking their precious grandson away from the grandparents.

 
Pauline>hee, better visit soon if I go. My friend kept asking me to go visit when he was there but I always put it off cos of the long journey. Ended up he moved to BKK now.



they have food delivery. If we stay in mid-town Manhatten, don't really need a car although groceries would b slightly more ex. But a car would give us more flexibility. I suggested he learn driving there at nite when I'm home from work. Then he can have some 'me' time too

 
Hi mummies,



I am from the June 2010 thread.



I am now doing my 3rd batch spree for Sophie & other brands, the products can be seen on www.sophie.sg. The discount is 20% off price listed on the site.



To order, please send me a PM directly (I will not be referring to the thread postings). I will close orders on 17 April at 3pm. On 18 April, I will contact all mummies to confirm the orders and ask for payment to be transferred before 19 April 11am. Stocks will be available for collection from 20 April onwards at Pinnacle@Duxton or Tanjong Pagar MRT.

 
cocomama>maybe that person deleted the post. :eek: I din see it so was wondering who u were referring to [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

 
Yl, keke, let me save up for the exp air tickets first. But the kids must be old enough to Self entertain or I will go crazy on the flight. :p



Oh ya, I am thinking of visiting shu mian this thurs without my kids. Since Raeanne's cough is still not ok, dun want to bring my kids to infect Luke. :p

 
How is Luke feeling? Took next Mon off in case Ayden gets fever from his jab on Sat so can't take Thurs off. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif] Please wish her all the best for me.

 
lsntyl> YX took the MMRV 2 weeks ago. all was well and he didn't develop fever. i read that although MMRV has a higher risk of developing fever than if taken separately, the probability is still very low. if i remember correctly, it was something like 9 out of 100K. therefore, i decided to proceed with MMRV so that he doesn't have to be jabbed twice. just thought of sharing this with you.

 
MMRV

Chris took MMRV on last Fri and touch wood, no fever. Hopefully he continue to remain well till end of the week coz dr said may have fever btw day 3-7.



YL,

Haha, like wat Xin and I said, can organise playdate in NY!

 
Thanks, cocomama. I'm only giving Ayden his MMR. Decided against MMRV partly cos it requires a second jab when he turns 18 months. Donno if I'll be here then so figured he can always take the chickenpox vaccination later whereever we are. :p

 
cocomama : haaa....I used to dream but now seldom or cannot afford to dream liao....haaa....;p

Life is so busy or so 'robot' everyday....;p



who responded to my post ?

pinktulip ? Who ? Wat's written there ?

Didnt see leh....;p



TYL : ususally 1 wk after MMR then will start to hv fever.

My bb hv fever 1 wk after jab. Also look out for rashes too.....;p

 
TYL : my PD said that my bb 2nd MMRV jab when 2yrs old leh ? Dunno why so late ?



Yuki : so gd ?

Heee....dun worry. I am sure yr brother dun mind.....;p

 
Yl, it's been a few weeks since he's discharged so hope he's better. I wasn't thinking of going on Thurs initially but weekends always so busy with hubby's tuition and the kids so diff to coordinate. Plus one of my friends asked me to attend real estate seminar with her on Thurs night at Toa payoh so I might as well run all my errands on Thurs. Visit my ex colleagues now working at KTP hosp (yishun), visit Shu mian at TP then go for seminar in the evening. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]



xin, I've smsed Eric but he has no suitable car for us yet. Maybe our budget too low bah, plus hubby prefer low mileage cars... What car did you buy from him? :p

 
Hi mommies, wow.. took me quite a long time to catch up on all the past postings.



Thanks for all the moms who contributed ideas for what I can do with my son, really appreciate your replies!



Today is one of those days where i feel really down and out. Have work to do but having writer's block, feel very frustrated. Maid adds to my headache... she's been here for 3 mths but can still make mistakes when I give her simple instructions. I really wanna change a maid but can't find a suitable one and the salary is so ex these days!! From what I can see, a fresh maid is at least $400 and if has prior experience, is $450 and up.



Like what MamaD said, i also feel like jumping out the window. Sometimes ask myself why did I end up agreeing to have a kid and lose my freedom, put my career/biz plans on hold, forgo my dreams... and having a hubby who doesn't quite understand what i go thr at home everyday makes it worse. Somehow, he thinks i'm having an easy time at home. I feel like telling him i dun wanna work anymore, just give me pocket money and i'll just be a SAHM. But the prob is i really love what i do, i can't make myself give it up and be a SAHM. But the current arrangement makes it so hard for me.. i can't concentrate on my work, and i'm not being a gd mom to my son coz i may be physically here, but my mind and heart are elsewhere. I feel so guilty ever so often... sometimes i wonder why can't i manage it all? Why i can't i be the supermom that some WAHMs seem to be?



Working/living abroad: it's been my dream of wanting to live and wk abroad again. But my hubby, who used to travel a lot for work, is not keen for the idea. He feels strongly that Singapore is the best place in the whole world to live and work and bring up children and quote all the famous people e.g. Jim Rogers, Jet Li who have moved the whole family here as example. True, I do agree that SG is quite a gd place to live in and everything is convenient and efficient, but i still wanna see and experience the world (not thr travelling.. coz it's all just superficial). So when he was in the previous co, i've asked him to get a posting but he refused. Now that he has changed job, it's even much harder for my 'dream' to come true. Sigh, i dunno if one day i will wake up and regret not being able to pursue my dreams and had to sacrifice it for the family. I hope that day won't come...So TYL, if going to US is really what you wanna do, try to work smthg out together with your hubby. I hope you will get to fulfill your dreams!





Btw, I came across one website and find it quite useful. It's http://www.kidsandparenting.com/kidsandp/

I like the 'places to go' category. And under 'Learning and Teaching' you can download and print out some flashcards for your LOs.

 
Potty training: I posted about a potty training workshop last week. That event was postponed to 13 May @ 10am. It's $20/adult, can bring LOs along. The last time it was postponed because many moms last minute couldn't attend.



However, if we have more than 4 moms interested, the person can also conduct a private class, either at her place, which is the usual location, or at another location which we determine. The trainer sent me a link to info about the programme:

http://www.pottytrainwithbabysigns.com/



If any moms keen, it's either attend the 13 May one, which may or may not take place (given the previous experience), or we organise a separate one - which can be at her place or at one of our homes.

 
xin> ya hor..kinda difficult to address man who stays hme..Househusband..Superdaddy..



andie> next time i fill in 'tai tai' or 'supermum' c whether they laugh..tink i laugh first..hahahaha..



mstan> understand hw u feel, can't imagine myself working like u mummies, definitely cannot take the stress of working n then take care of my LO after work..moreover my LO is a pain in the a**..(oops,haha)..sleep late, picky eater, hyperactive..asthma sicky one often oso...



yl> u r veri lucky..wonderful mum n in-laws always ready to take care of A..tis is unconditional love..



cooking black bean soup today for dinner, wonder LO can drink or not??

 
going overseas for good> heh i see that many of you would love to go overseas for good. i'm the opposite. I love my home in singapore, won't want to leave my relatives, friends etc for anything. but i would love to go all the countries for travelling!! think it's just me cos everytime i go travelling to whichever country, i still prefer living in singapore though i would love to travel back to their country again for leisure.

 
cheerieheart> hang in there. we all have bad days once in a while.



even though i work flexi-hour, i still work from home in the afternoon and most of the time, have to juggle between completing my work and providing for YX, like preparing his meals for the next day, etc... take a breather. go for a short walk at the neighbourhood, take a warm bubble bath or spend some money (it's therapeutic to me [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif])



re potty training> are there are pre-requisites, such as the LO need to show some form of readiness? where is the location for the training?

 
Melissa, cheerieheart, agree with both of you. I would also want to raise my kids in SG because unless take up citizenship overseas, think we will always be second class citizens there.



But I will love to experience working and living overseas either as expat or dependent spouse for a few years cos I think it will be a great experience. Maybe I should go and instigate hubby to teach English in some developing country. hehe. ;)

 
Cocomama: think no prerequisite for the workshop. Guess all our LOs are > 1 yr old, can start training them [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif] the trainer's place is in bukit timah, but she said can have it elsewhere if we can find a location.



MamaD: Where u stay? I'm a WAHM, maybe sometimes can arrange a playdate for our LOs [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

 
Pauline: yalor, i wanna live overseas for a few years, then when it's time for LO to go pri sch, then maybe come back here :p I miss living in a place with four seasons! But my hubby patriotic Singaporean, doesn't like to stay overseas.

 
LO jus snatch my mouse away.then i use the touch screen..he followed likewise n touched too..wah bian..cannot leave me alone to chit chat..time to bring him for a walk..

 
Cheerieheart, think better to come back by the time the kid turns 5 or 6 yrs old, cos Singapore education system more intense than most countries, the kid will need some time to catch up to Pri 1 standard. :p

 
mamad : sometimes I also envy u all WAHM as can work & can also spend time with bb.

I understand how u feel ?

Sometimes I wonder how u all WAHM can do so well ?

If I on leave & stay at hm to look after bb already finds so tiring & no time to do my own stuff (except bb sleep of course), sometimes wonder how u all do it ? Still can work at hm with bb ? Heee....dun think I can do it....;p

 
cheerieheart:

that was exactly what I was going through when working from home. No mother should ever feel guilty for spending time with their child, that's why i chose to be a SAHM. And I will say this: I do not believe there is such a thing as a supermom. Many like to portray themselves as such just to make another feel inadequate. There are many skeletons in the closet unknown, so the more they try to portray as such, chances are they are struggling as much, or even worse than you.



Look at the mommies here, we all have our fair share of struggles, no one can be problem-free when it comes to parenthood.



Motherhood is tough, very tough. It comes with its rewards, but don't let others glam it up. I've some relatives who like to say 'oh, she's at an age where she's so fun, easier to care for, your load is lightened, etc etc' and my response will be 'but she can get annoying and difficult to entertain.' It's not that I want to put Emma in a bad light, but it's a fact. That will shut their trap cuz they don't expect that response from me.





yuki: your mom is really awesome! [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif] the fact that she's confident enough to care for Chris for an entire mth in another country...simply...wow!

 
cheerieheart: and btw, do you think Jim Rogers will send his daughter to a government school or an international one? The main reason he's here is due to investments: there is no capital gains tax here, SG is an investment haven. If he truly wants his daughter to master Mandarin, why not international school in China?

 
v_ni: oh, apologies i was mistaken. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]



but i do believe that investments play a part. If we had capital gains tax, being a shrewd investor, i don't see him staying put here.



I feel that hiring a chinese nanny and living in the country is not the same, you don't get exposed to the same culture. With the cost of living comparable to that of Tokyo, London and HK, i don't see how SG is more livable. Even he couldn't commit to a property in SG claiming steep prices.





But don't get me wrong, SG is a good country to be in. DH and I don't intend to migrate, just relocating. I want Emma to have options that SG government cannot provide due to SG's size and economic policies.

 
yuki/mstan>donno leh. the clinic said if I'm taking MMRV must go 15 months and 18 months for booster jab. If just MMR, only to go for 15 months. so, I thought the 18 months is for varicella lor...



pauline>wah, you r taking up real estate again? means u must b feeling better le?



actually, I'll b v happy if Ayden doesn't go through the SG education system. Too much rote learning and stress. I want him to enjoy learning. but I might ask some of the moms I'm closer with to help mail me some maths texts if we go overseas cos that's an aspect that i think SG does v well. :p



Finland's education system is the one I like best but too hard to get that for Ayden. http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,2062419,00.html



cheerieheart>I'm not the ambitious sort so don't need to climb the ladder. But I feel that this is a rare chance for Ayden to experience a different lifestyle. If we go, I can afford to put him in international school cos of the grants I will get. The organisation will even pay for mother tongue tuition. If we stay, no way I can give him that. I think the famous people like Jim Rogers send their children for the better schools and are able to hire dedicated tuition teachers. Read that his daughters go to nanyang pri which is the school that has long qs etc. No way I can put my boy there lor.



mamaD>ya lor. imagine going from strong family support to none. Hubby and I have been having it too good. Time to toughen ourselves. but actually, my inlaws can't take care of Ayden. only play with him. He still runs to me when he wants to sleep, drink milk, eat, etc. So when we go visit, I have to do more. :p



andie>agree. I will want Ayden to grow up knowing SG, the anthem n even the pledge. We'll keeping the house in SG n might even retire back here too. He'll prob do his NS too. But at the same time, we want him to have more options and choices

 
very interesting to read about being SAHM, WAHM, FTWM, PTWM and going overseas.



i guess at the end of the day, we mummies need to remember why we make certain choices so that we don't get envious along the way or think that the grass is greener on the other side or regret or choices.



I believe that whether is it SAHM, WAHM, FTWM, PTWM, staying in singapore, going overseas all have its pros and cons so it's really for us parents to put on our thinking caps and think of the reasons why we chose certain things for ourselves and for our children so we won't live in regret.



Since I'm PTWM now, I also do have times when i feel sad when i don't have that strong bond with my students or when i don't get promoted though i do a lot but not as much compared to FTWM. But I will strongly remember the reasons why i chose to be PTWM and remember to be contented. The reasons keep me going all the time when the going gets tough. =)

 
YL, actually, I was planning to revisit the real estate option only after my dr review next Mon. but since my friend asked me to go for a a free seminar (like a career talk by HSR) so I thought no harm knowing what different agencies say lor. Anyway, if I go for the course, it will be May onwards cos all the April courses are full. :p

 
hi mummies, thanks for all the info n encouragement. thk i can only give my lo more time n not so stress up over it. Meanwhile I would continue to train her to walk. hope it works [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]



re: MIL

there are always endless stories on MIL. this applies to me as well. She always got a lot of "ideas" that I cannot accept. she always tell me to juz leave my gal alone n go for my dinner. Hb n I was like how can we leave my gal alone. Bt she juz dun see the point. She thk tat my gal can take care of herself. If not, she would suggest to take care of her. BUT SHE ONLY CARRY HER ONCE EVER SINCE MY GAL was born. How would my gal would wan her to take care of her. So my gal would start making noise n MIL would start making comments like we never visit her often lah how my gal would like her etc. Deep in my heart I was like c'mmon u dun even carry n play wif her wat do u expect.



Nowadays when we r toking to her she is playing with her ipod. Haiz. I used to think that i can leave wif her but looking at the situation now, thk i should juz close my eyes for that few hours every wk n lower my expectations. no expectations no disappointment.



lsntyl, hope all went for u n family [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif] Thk it is a great opportunity to be able to station overseas n good chance for our los to gain exposure to the outside world.





yuki, totally agree our mum is the best. My mum also cook dinner for us every day despite helping me to take care of my gal. She would also relieve me during wkends if i got wedding dinners or other appointments. I would try to keep it to minimal coz i think she really need at break.

 
Seriously, its nvr easy to be a mother, watever kind of mother it is, as long as you wanna be a responsible mummy, its nt easy. Those easy kind I guess would be those who hack care abt the child.



tyl, if u go to the states, I can tell other ppl that I got a fren in USA whose son got same name as mine! hahha! If ever got chance I can go visit u.



cocomama, ur mil hugged u! Thats so touching, but of cos a child after 9 yrs of marriage wld be so precious for everyone.



pauline, is the course free? If it is just go for it la, since nothing to lose. I went for some course at CC before, but lost interest halfway, wanted to get qualified to sell HDB flats. My hb kept nagging abt it till tdy tho hahha



But I must clarify, my mil is not bad but still.... she is not my mummy n I can see sometimes she gets kind of jealous when I n my mum do girly things together like go manicure/facial/ do hair together cos she got no daughter. I must say we always have minor miscomm cos she doesnt really understand mandarin very well, when she translate fr mandarin to cantonese, facts sort of distorted. N me being me, so straight forward makes things worse. But with the arrival of A, our r/s got closer cos we got a common topic, prior to tat there's nothing we can talk abt cos she dun like to do girly things n watch diff kind of dramas. N with the arrival of A, my mum n mil became frens. I can feel very at ease with the 2 helping me. With all these talk abt mums, I must tink of something for the 2 mummies in May mother's day!

 


melissa>agree. All options have their pros n cons. As a PTWM, you get so much more time with Enxi than us FTWM. Everyday, when I go to work, I'm always super bu she de.



Pauline>oic. Hope the talk is interesting. Always good to compare options. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]



firipy>hee, ok. That will b nice! [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]



think have to pay for real estate course now. oso have exams.

 
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