(2010/01) January 2010 mtb

Jessie: I agree totally! Whether a mother works or not should be her choice, not circumstances. And thankfully DH and his friends (whether single or married) carry with them the exact ideology that men should not get married unless they can provide for the family w/o the wife working. If the women want to, by all means, but it must be their choice.





About keeping sane while being a SAHM, the crucial part for me is keeping with the developments of the world and my industry (i.e. legal), thus I'm able to form my own opinions and hold conversations w/o invoking the 'Emma' talk. And my blackberry. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif] that is my last connection with my working life.





firipy: hello! has it been that long ago?? Wow...how time flies! Well, Emma is still going through stunted hair growth. I hope she'll not be like her daddy, botak till she's 3 year old! [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif]





jessie, mindy: yup, ex-smoker here too. when I first quit smoking 4yrs ago, I had really bad anger management issues. Cuz back then it was:



- angry? smoke.

- upset? smoke.

- frustrated? smoke.

- stressed? smoke.

- happy? smoke.

- chit chat? smoke.

- drinking? smoke.

- waiting? smoke.

- bored? smoke.



So when I was any one of the above and had no ciggies, I didn't know what to do! Especially when I was angry, I didn't know where to divert my anger to or how to deal with it. Slowly I learned to walk away. Constantly walking away from frustrating situations before I begin hammering people (which, sometimes the interns kenna from me).



Honestly, I believe smoking is more psychological than anything else. I've never had withdrawal symptoms before, but the first year when I quit I was constantly pek-chek cuz I had to learn to deal with my emotions w/o that ciggie.

 


I took wrong train by reading the postings... Haha! I felt really bad, I went to run some errands ytd so my mum took care of A. Mil went to see A cos he sneeze n occasional cough. It's was bad when I got hm, he was wheezing. I said I do my things another day in morn but mum told me she can manage. I flare up upon seeing A breathe so hard, told my mum off. I ask her y Nvr ask me to come hm or bring him see doc ASAP! My mum was very hurt.... N I m too proud to say sorry afterwards... I got facial appt tdy n wanted cancel but mum said book so long jus go. Guilty!!!

 
Firipy: is A much better now? Does he have asthma? Don’t blame your mom, I think you’re blessed to at least have her help. But I can also understand how worried you must have been at that moment. I do envy that you have your mom to help out and you can still go out to enjoy a bit of ‘me time’. My mom is not physically well and needs care herself while MIL.. sigh.. The r/s with her not so good now after a huge misunderstanding (I felt so wronged by her!! Thinking about it makes me so upset already), so now can’t ask her for any help.



Cy: If you don’t mind letting your girl see GP, can go to the one I usually see. Nowadays, if my boy has common illness like fever or running nose and even recently when he developed some rashes, I bring him see GP. The PD he goes to always has super long Q, and the phone can’t get through 90% of the time. So I gave up. The GP clinic I bring him is Northeast @ Sengkang MRT. I usually let him see Dr Yvonne Tan or Dr Tan Teck Jack. The female Dr is very patient and detailed, the male Dr has children of his own, so I feel he is quite understanding as well. Dr Chee Boon Ping also not bad. All these are Drs I saw before my boy was born and have passed my ‘assessment'... haha.. Btw, the clinic has a few Drs, so I usually call to see who is on duty and what time.



About loss of identity:

I know that feeling! I often complain to hubby how having a kid has robbed me of my freedom and I have to put my career sort of on a hold and how I envy those who can chiong their careers. But then again, it’s not his fault or my boy’s fault. Afterall, it was my choice that I wanna be a WAHM. It’s just that circumstances have changed and we need time to adjust to our new roles and work out a sort of equilibrium. But we all know that some things are never the same again once we become moms. However, when our kids are bigger, we will have more ‘me time’ again.



Firipy/Cy/Andie/Jessie: what activities do you do with your LO everyday? My boy looks like he’s getting very very bored. But I can’t bring him out everyday and I can't possibly keep buying new toys – and he’s not really into toys anyway...

 
cheerieheart: i actually bring Emma out everyday, cuz i honestly don't know what to do with her if we're at home the whole day (e.g. when it rains...and rain...and rain somemore). I mean, there's a limit to her attention span, and her scheduled lessons can only be that long before she crawls away.





Her current schedule:

Mon - library (we'll travel to different libraries for the fun of it. Sometimes the traveling time is longer than time spent in the library)



Tues - grocery shopping (again, travel far far away though the supermart is just a 5min walk)



Wed - Used to be gymboree days, but after stopping lessons, anything goes really.



Thurs - Peekaboo!



Friday - Morning swim and lunch outdoors.





Like Kenan, Emma's not really into toys too. But on rainy days when we're cooped up at home, i'll play with her endlessly for 1 hour to tire her out, then she'll be more receptive with her toys, sitting down and entertain herself until it's nap/snack time (depending on whether it's morning or afternoon). Having said that, having a helper around really helps to occupy Emma's time a bit.



But my hands-on parenting mindset means I don't leave Emma in my helper's care, cuz I chose to have a baby hence she's my responsibility.

 
firipy: My mom's like your mom too, she'll try to manage and not call me unnecessarily, cuz in the past when babies fall ill, the parents/grandparents will try to self-medicate first and not see doctor immediately.



It's easy to see at hindsight why your mom did what she did, yet I can understand your frustration cuz we'll definitely make the trip to the doc.



That said, I think your mom's way of asking you to go for your facial is somewhat her way of apologising. So...it's your turn now [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

 
hello mummies...

it's really tough to plan something with the lil one...



Firipy, i will tell my mum off too but i told her if anything, just call me... dun wait...

If not severe, then let him rest... if too much, then i will rush back to bring him to the doc.



if you think apologising to your mum is difficult, buy her something to eat? something she likes...For me, sometimes, in a fit of anger, will talk back too but cos of Shayne, we both will give in...



I'm really thankful to have my mum with me...

I have been bring Shayne to the public pool after work almost everyday when weather is good...and only when my mum is able to follow me... so that she can look after Shayne while i bath... W/o her strong support, I think my boy's eczema could have been worst...

Both of us no matter how tired, will make our effort to bring Shayne for a swim...



Just 2 days ago, she fell... And she still insist on bringing Shayne to swim...

I really feel bad and try to pamper her to good food...



No matter what, our own mums are still the best. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

 
Hi gals,A is much better! I brought my mum to dim sum hi-tea. cos A is unwell so it was a quickie meal. Andie/Cheerieheart /febie, he doesnt have asthma. The reason y I was so anxious this time is cos A was admitted to hosp for the same illness 7 mths ago.last mth in feb- mar, he oso got cough n flu but it's mild. Ytd looks like normal cough n runny nose but it's viral attack after visiting doc, the cough n flu is to dispel the phlegm fr his windpipes. My mum was also worried abt A n i can't totally blame her cos I hardly do my own things n leave her alone with A n she felt I shld jus go n do my things.

 
Andie,

me too. My hub always says "ahhh... I know you can't stand it. You are going to google about it now right?" hahha. I also read very varied stuff, must get my daily dose of news even started reading on history, religion, politics of this region since it's so 'happening' now. Wasn't very interesting in it previously. No problem with chipping in on conversations but normally, the first topic friends ask about (perhaps politely) is Renee.



Furby,

I worked for the bakery for a 2 month contract, extended 1 more month and then I went back to SG for 4 weeks. Supposed to get in touch again now but babycare arrangement is not sorted out. I guess my wish is still to be a SAHM for now. Just want to do a bit more things within my means.



Cheerieheart,

Other than the usually sorting, stacking, reading, hide-n-seek, parroting, rolling around, here are some of the activities we do at home:

(1) drawing and colouring with watercolours or crayons. Crayola has washable ones. Can draw shapes and fruits and write some letters. Then do point and sign or speak.

(2) Stacking boxes (beer boxes, tissue boxes and big boxes for moving house) and then toppling them. Gives her the chance to say her favourite "OH OH!",

(3) stirring beans in a pot, scooping them in bowls and putting them back in the pot one by one using fingers (teach words like beans, stir, put in, take out, pot etc),

(4) traffic watching (teach words like bus, car, wheel, motorcycle, driver, headlights, big and small n sounds like vroom vroom),

(5) putting some beans in plastic bottle, put some water in another bottle and shake. hear the different sounds

(6) Touch, feel, smell real fruits and refer to the images in her picture books. (Be warned, most of the fruits will be bruised and have to be thrown away) Bananas get squashed and tomaotes get punctured to the core by the small fingers!

(7) Look for items that are of a particular shape around the house e.g. 2 weeks ago we were doing circle: buttons, ball, polka dots, door knobs, screw cap. Then take it further, in the lift or when out, look for things that are circular to show her. She'll also start pointing and drawing circles in the air to bring some items to my attention. I think for this the crucial things is understanding your baby's language. Cos I was the one who taught her, i need to brief my hub so that when she makes circles with her finger, he will know she's trying to say she saw something round.



Today we went to the beach in the morning. She took a while to get used to having sand on her skin. She held them up and went mama, wanting me to clean for her. So just teach her to do cha cha shou, clean your palms action. But she loves the sea! We werent' planning to take a dip so no swimwear but she just walked towards the water, squatted down and splashed water. Then she even sat herself down in the shallow water wetting her pants and tee.



Might try some finger painting too. Since hub is in on weekend, can get some help with the clearing up.



Oh yeah, and I've started letting Renee watch DVDs. She responses well to the Baby Babble one. She's very active but somehow not the dance-y type when watching DVDs.



Like Andie, I usually bring her out shopping after her nap. Seldom out in the mornings on weekdays cos I need to cook for her.

 
We both know that we r all worried abt him. She insisted in stayin bk in hosp to watch A last time. Worried that me n hb got no rest. My ils nvr volunteer lo. This round it's very mild compared. He is bk to normal tdy just tat his nose is kinda blocked. Deep down, I really appreciate things my parents did esp my mum. Easier to negotiate with mum than mil.my mum did a better job taking care of A than me for sure

 
Firipy,

hope little A gets well soon. Renee was struck by viral fever in Feb and it was so horrible! Severely congested, hungry but unable to nurse or eat.

 
mummies.. my mom also will not call me when things happened.. she will always like to self medicate first which all of don't like..

but sometimes isaiah fall and got bruises which is obvious of coz she no choice then have to say lar..



But i believe there are alot of times when things happened at home but she didnt tell me lor.. But close one eyes lor..



Firipy.. my mom dont think like ur mom..

she feel that now m a mom n i should not go out and leave my baby alone.. i only went out once for the past 14months and was late and only able to pick Isaiah at 11pm.. she was angry with me n my hubby. She told me off.. saying that as a mother should not like this. wah biang..



then weekend.. Isaiah always with us lar..

so totally dont have pak tor time at all.

Either my hubby go n i stay with bb or he stay with BB n i go out.. but most of the times is i stay with bb at home.. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif]



oh manz.. m still in office..

still struggeling with 2 proposal after 2 appointments in TUAS SOUTH.. the weather so hot..

i felt like a roasted chicken in the car.

m so tired.. n so sianz to do any work now..

so take a break n kpo kpo here..



YawnzZzz

 
Oh yeah, cheerieheart,

Renee loves watching her shadows too so I want play with a torchlight in a darkened room with her. Probably try that next week.



I'll post again if i can recall the other activities that we do. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

 
Yang.. i bought crayola too..

but isaiah refuse to use it as a crayon or coloring tool leh. He used it as a ball! Throw!!



when we are home at night..

he loves to play peek aboo with us.

he will take his fave blanket, cover his head and try to walk towards us n boo at us..

or he will crawl around the bed n suddenly stand up and boo at us !! hahah that's my fave game with him... coz i only needs to sit on the bed n act excited when he boo!! hehehe :p



actually we are very lazy parents.. coz after work tired liao mah.. so we will on tv and let him watch leapfrog dvds n he will learn his phonics..

and now.. when we asked him

what is the sound of A.. n he will say Ah..

A for ?? he will say AhPle.. haha

What is the sound of B.. n he will say Ber!

B for ?? he will say Ball..

What is the sound of C.. he will say ker!

C for ?? sometimes cat but most of the times will be DECK! D for DECK.. E for DECK every thing else will be DECK..



now hubby trying to teach him.. the vowels.. AEIOU! telling him everyday n force him to rememebr hahahah

 
C.yang: yes! exactly what my DH will say! [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif] And sometimes when he wants to find out about stuff, he'll plant the curious seed in my head, and I'll HAVE to google about it, otherwise...can't sleep!





That washable crayola sounds good, I only hope Emma won't chew on it. Will go search for it tomorrow. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

 
mindy, I m lucky to have my mum la, thats for sure. We quarrel n argue alot, but end of the day, hug hug n we are besties again... hahha! My mum had minimal help when we were young so she totally understand that I n hb needs to go on dates. My dad too, he tinks he can bond with A while we all are nt ard cos my dad is nt like on A's list's top person to look for. Its usually me or my mum/mil, then my hb or someone else. At least u are more hard working than me! I nvr teach him any vowels, just the A,B,Cs, 1,2,3. I must teach him more indeptly ald....I m so ashamed



Cheerieheart, I can't stand being at hm, I usually bring him out after his lunch to have my lunch outside. no fix plc to go. Tues is mil's plc after lunch, fri is my mum's plc after lunch. When I bathe A, I will teach him body parts, like legs, hands, fingers, wash where n I sing where. hahahha!I will let him watch thomas's program b4 his lunch n while he is doing that I have quick shower n change. I tell him abt where we are going, on the mode of transport, wat stops, on the billboards what are those etc. He loves buses n mrt, when he sees Bus, he will go Bah...s Bah...s, when he sees mrt, he will go M M. I like to bring him to see animals in petshops, when he sees rabbit, he will go Rar.....I din teach him to say Dog as Ou Ou, he picked it up fr my ils I tink n when he sees Cat, he will go At At.. He refers to every fruit as Ah-bel (apple). My mum we always refer as popo, he calls her Ah Mah......Its not wrong la but I dunno y he calls her tat when we nvr even refer to her as ah mah....



cyang, A is a very dance-y baby, he will groove n sway whenever we play songs he likes n do his hand actions for those that he is familiar. He will hum to the music too. We do our daily singing n dancing in the evening b4 he naps. He can hum to hokkien songs oso lo, esp the 7pm taiwan show "Ai"'s "wah Meng ti"! He can do quite a number of "performance" ald. My hb said I m only gd at teaching him sing n dance, the rest am still so lacking hahhaha. N the thing is none of my family or ils watch that show, dunno y he likes it. Oh I can get crayons for him le, tink its time for me to dig out the magnadoodle for him to draw on. I bought it way b4 he is born! My hb always assign me task so that I can google for him lo, he knows I can spend whole nite checking things out.

 
Many posts today.



Yl, changing surnames after marriage is a quite a Caucasian n Indian custom. Not very common among the Chinese I think. ;) My ex colleague's hubby reminds her to change her surname cos his mother, aunties all followed husband's surname after they got married so she finally got a lawyer to do a deed poll. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]



Jessie, andie, keke, I like your reasoning. I kinda agree. When we were getting married, I told hubby that if we have babies, I may not want to work anymore. So we bought a cheaper flat n took a longer loan so that hubby's cpf monthly contribution alone will be enough. But of course still need to make other sacrifices so both hubby n wife must be willing too. :p



Mindy, haha, I just bought leapfrog letter factory for my no. 1 so shunbian show Raelynn. She can't say anything yet though.



Cyang, I like what u do with Renee At home ESP the shapes part. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]



Cheerieheart, for my no. 1, I would show her flashcards then bring her to different parts of the house to find the objects. That will occupy some time. Would bring her to nearby park or playground too. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

 
Hi mummies,

Wow so many posts.



I just got back from cruise on wed nite. finally clear all the laundry. So tiring unpacking. But it was a good n relaxing trip better than i expected.



Cy, the pinic when must we confirm? I wanna go but i not sure if i need to work leh. sianz.



Btw mummies, i came upon recipes that required cheese. May I know which brand n type to get? There is some any choices but duno which one to get. Thanks a lot.

 
Bluey> anyday also can confirm.. whoever wanna join jus come. Will update on exact location as i believe once u reach there sure can find us :D



Hope to see ya ..

 
Bluey, I bought the Swiss cheese block from ntuc/ cold storage. Will shred the amount of cheese I need n chill the block after shredding in the fridge. Alternatively, can get the packet shredded cheese too, more convenient [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

 
mindy,

I find the leapfrog dvd very long leh. played a few times and never finished it. Wow! It's good that Isaiah can say the sounds of the letters.



Firipy,

Don't feel that you are not doing enough lah. See... teaching body parts and any conversation you are having with Ayden is also teaching what.



Why so much pride and ego in front of your mummy? I think i have gone past that stage. In my teens I love to rebut my mummy and talk back rudely. Think i stopped doing that when I'm around 20? Don't let Ayden see you talking fiercely to popo... he may pick it up.



For me, my mummy is the most important person in my life. I'll lovey dovey, sayang her, thank her, kiss her, etc. Sorry is not that hard to say to one's mummy. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif] If really cannot say then "taire" her and hug her lor. Act cute always works with mummies. hahaha. treating her to nice dim sum is also good... could be her language of love!



My friend who lost both her folks always tell me to make best use of my time to treat my folks well. And she does question me why we chose to live overseas as it doesn't give us enough time with our families. Told me to think, how many years they have left, how to cherish them.



Bluey,

you can refer to http://babynutritioncare.com/nutrition-for-baby/is-cheese-safe-for-babies/

and http://www.wholesomebabyfood.com/feedingcheesetobaby.htm



I've given Renee mild cheddar and montery jack. I buy the organic ones when they are available. Just avoid buying "fake" cheese aka american cheese/ processed cheese. Basically avoid Kraft brand and the likes cos they are mostly processed cheese with additives. Not that processed ones are harmful but real block cheese are better in quality and nutrition. I know some kids eat laughing cow cheese and kraft singles but i'll like to keep that for later.

 
Yang my mummy is also the most impt person in my life. ;)



My boy is teething and has not been eating much for his meal. I resort to more milk feed for him. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif]

Haiz hope he resume eating soon.



Isaiah is so gd boy. My one has no interest for anything except the music on the iPad and peekaboo apps.

He only has eyes for certain commercial ads on tv.

 
Wow ... what a week full of posts. It's been a while since I got in coz' the thread has been quiet for a while. Nice to see mommies like Andie come in. What a whirlwind week for me back in Singapore, not 'shiok' at all like you mentioned, C Yang. More of a trip filled with uncertainties and fear. As sp_callalily had shared earlier, Nat was unwell and we brought her back to Singapore for treatment.



About 1.5 weeks back, Nat had a really high fever spiking up to 40.4 degrees at one point in time. Initially, I was trying to keep my cool about it coz' DH was outta town and I told myself that it could just very well be a viral fever since no other symptoms appeared. Brought her in to see paed and was told to look out for other symptoms like fast breathing, pink eyes, etc Over the next few days, Nat was horribly irritable, face was flushed due to the high temps, had a nose bleed incident. I had to keep sponging her and giving her meds. Needless to say, appetite was poor, sleepless nites etc.



Handling it all on my own was no joke but still had to pull through. By the 3rd day of her fever, Nat's lips got really red and started developing pink eye. Being a Sunday, we just decided to bring her in to ER to let the paed on duty see her. She did a suspect diagnosis as kawasaki disease. Some of you here would probably scratch your head and go HUH. At first thought, it was really scary, came home to read up, even got more scared.



Spoke to a few mom friends whose kids got it and some sent back to Singapore for treatment, got me more fearful. Being in a foreign land, with paeds ever so hard to reach, medical facilities uncertain, we just didn't wanna take chances. On 11pm on Sunday, we booked our tickets to fly at 8am the next morning. Never done such a crazy thing before but we know why we had to do it. Though Nat didn't develop at least 4 of the symptoms, we figured out by the time she developed 4 of them, it'll be too late. I shan't elaborate too much of the disease here coz I guess you all would google about it anyway.



Reached Singapore, rushed Nat to paed. Paed did a diagnosis and doesn't think that it is coz' he's diagnosed patients with it before. He thinks it could just be a viral fever which infected Nat's eyes and probably lips. I also later discovered ulcers on Nat's tongue. I would like to think that Nat was also very 'heaty' like the chinese think. Anyway, I gave her some anti-biotics which the shanghai paed prescribed and also dropped eye drops for Nat and offered her some zyrtec as prescribed by Singapore paed.



After a day or two, she got fine. It has just been crazy. And needless to say, my shopping holiday with my galfriends was cancelled coz' it happened right before it. Actually, when she was just having the fever, DH kept instigating for me to go on with the trip but I told him ... it just doesn't rest well on my conscience as a mom to have a sick child at home while i go SHOPPING! I was really prepared to cancel the holiday and my instincts somehow told me that it wasn't just a simple fever as well. So yeah ... back to what you gals were sharing about losing your identities as women, I can definitely relate to all that.



My bestie, for the longest time, has been telling me that I need to really love myself. I look tired everytime I head back to Singapore. Like c yang, I have often tried not to post Nat's picture as my FB profile pic or MSN pic as well. But in the end, I still ended up posting photos of the both of us. Deep down, I know how important it is to love myself and regain my identity. But it really doesn't help being a SAHM, and my beliefs are the same as andie.



I dun believe in passing my kid on to helper. Thus, it makes the situation tougher for me. DH has been a really hands-on dad but he tends to be careless at times. So I still have to keep tabs on him when he's watching over Nat. Sometimes when I think I can let go, he makes mistakes. Like today, he forgot to turn off the fire off the pot on the stove, despite setting alarm to remind himself.



Luckily I came back in time or my chicken stock would be burnt to nothing. So sometimes, it's not that I dun wish to let go but it's just so hard to let go completely. Just wanna thank mommies here for asking about Nat. She's better now, and we're back in Shanghai already.

 
andie,



I can relate to some of the things you shared about Emma. Nat never says bye or hi on cue whenever we meet friends or strangers. It's only after they've left for a while, she decides to wave. Initially, I thought she was weird for her delayed reaction, now I kinda think she's normal. Ha. Another thing about Nat that i've noticed now that she's walking is that the moment she's 'released' from me, she can walk on and on without ever turning back to look at me!



I shared with my mom about this and she was shocked. She said that all her kids never dared leave her sight when we were young. She kept reminding me to keep close tabs on her. On one hand, I do like the fact that she's independently exploring on her own. Yet on the other hand, I sometimes wonder why she's not attached to me like the other LOs do to their parents. She's definitely not the huggy kissy baby sort.



But when I think back, it could very well be the way I raised her. I've always wanted to toughen her up and 'attachment parenting' and I are not so close friends. Hhahaha. Maybe coz' deep down, I need her to learn to be independent and adaptable considering that we are away from home and DH is constantly traveling. I cannot afford to have a needy child by my side. During Nat's play time at home, i will spend some time with her and her toys and books but I will also give her free play time.



I realized that Nat does thrive better during free play. When I offer to read books to her, she flips the pages ever so impatiently and quickly. Yet when she reads on her own, she flips the pages slowly, examines each page slowly. I've been guiding her on the shape sorter for a while and she's always insisting on doing it on her own and recently, she's managed to accomplish all shapes. When she's got her favourite TV program in front of her, NOTHING and I mean, NOTHING can distract her. She will sometimes push me away if I happen to be blocking her!



All that being said, Nat does offer me kisses when she 'feels like it'. She still calls me mama endearingly. And when she does all that, it really just makes me go warm and fuzzy all within. Oh and yes, whenever we make home trips to Singapore ... i take her out everyday! Even if it's just down to the market for her morning stroll. But these days, it's getting harder and harder to put her in her stroller because she'd rather be walking around touching stuff!



And not forgetting she's now climbing onto stuff too! The days of having to watch her like a hawk is back again. *sigh*

 
megan - Thanks ... yeah, it sure has been a tiring and frightful week. As cliche as it sounds, nothing is more important than having a healthy child.

 
Hey Lamb,

No way you could go shopping, man!

What a scare!! Nat was very ill eh? But fortunately it is not kawasaki. My friend's son had that at 6 mo. Had to take meds daily till 12 mths old.



Quite a risk to bring Nat back on a 5 hour flight. But guess you think that there isn't a PD you can trust in SHA. When Renee was down with viral attack in SG, the PD suggested postponing our return but we didn't. True enough after checking in, just before boarding, she was trembling badly and her lips were purplish grey. We had to pull out from the flight without our checked in luggages and rushed to KKH with the weirdest stuff like neck cushions and camera.



The risk is her condition may take a turn for the worse on board the flight, immunity is low, she may catch on germs more easily, the dry air is also bad for her nasal passage. But, phew, glad that Nat made it back and is recovering well!



Wah, you hubby has to be more careful. I'm quite afraid of fires and its potential damage.



Renee is very obliging when we ask her to wave, sign, speak, kiss, hug. Previously, ask her to wave goodbye at the door, she would wave after the door has closed but after she figured that the person will wave back or smile back at her, she's very on cue.



My hubby says my relationship with Renee will likely be like my mummy and me. Lovey dovey, super taire, PDA kind.

 
c yang,



Oh yeah ... there certainly was the fear about the risks on taking her on flight. But time wasn't on our side. The window to treat Kawasaki is 10 days. And within 5 days, all symptoms will show. At 11pm at nite, our sgp paed wasn't available at that time for us to consult if we should take her on the flight or not. Shanghai's paeds disappoint us big time.



You won't believe it but even on a weekday, we wun be able to get an appointment and would still have to bring her to ER to let some paed on duty diagnose. The paed isn't even a resident doctor of the hospital. Too long a story for me to wanna go on about the medical care situation here. Sometimes ... at that point in time, you dunno where you get your courage from. We just knew we had to take her back to Singapore where we could put our heart at ease. To be honest, I am not really affected that Nat isn't too much of a huggy baby, though I sometimes do wonder.



I do think that she takes after my DH's independent nature and if she is truly like him, I do think that one fine day, she's gonna spread her wings and soar. DH has been very used to living away from home since he started working. In fact, the post you made about being away from our parents now that they're old did tug the strings of my heart. It's been a constant struggle buried deep within me. I try to mask it with the daily activities that get by but each time I head back home and see how much they've aged, my heart really aches again. Earlier this year, my mom was diagnosed with some serious health problems that she had to be hospitalized.



All these years, my mom had never been hospitalized before. To me, it was like a 'warning' sign. Although she has recovered but her health will never be like before. I've broached the subject abt heading back to DH before but to no avail. I think his career is progressing well here for him to wanna give it all up to head back home.

 
So glad to hear Nat is fine! Hmm.. but remember there was time she sticks to you alot? Now perhaps she feels secure and confident and the world is opening up to her and she is busy exploring.



Arwen all along did not show particular attachment to anyone. If she see her nanny , she will be happy but if she don't, she is fine. Same goes for us. I often wonder why but these days as I see her eyes brighten and being so so curious about everything , I just felt so envious.. her world is widening and things are slowly becoming clearer and making more sense to her. It is a joy to see her soaking in everything and I mean EVERYTHING. I think this urgent need to explore things overrides other needs and emotions for now.



She does each things with such intent, it is amazing. If she play, she play with all her heart, if she eats, she eats with all her heart and when she sleeps, she sleeps like a baby, nary a care in the world. I feel .... indeed like a yogi, baby's reality is the present, the now. Of cos I know slowly it will change, she will have a history, a past and later she will understand future. But now.. seeing her changing everyday , it is like I am slowly going back to my childhood too. Where and when everything is fun, is pure, is interesting.



I see the world through her eyes sometimes, I feel a sense of saddness, cos I know the journey ahead for her is still a long one, she will poo and pee on her own, learning to eat on her own, dress herself, have her first day at school, her first best friend, her first lie, her first everything. Of cos it is a natural progress of life but being a mom, the thought of her going through life knowing life sometimes can be harsh makes my heartache even though it had not even barely began! LOL. So weird huh,for her, her can't wait to be independent but as a mom, I wish she will always be dependent on me. I guess that is what motherhood is like, she will always be my baby.



I think my girl is more of those that strive in being on familiar ground and routine. I am kind of glad she does not ask to be brought out all the time. She is very comfortable in her own home and maybe my overspending on toys does pay off! She play alot alot at home and I make sure every corner possible will have different toys for her to explore. Just spend 160 bucks on crayons and all sorts of painting, writing stuff. She always watching the drawing program over here in SH and was fun to see her today linking the crayon in her hand to the one the hosts are using on TV. Keke

 
Cy, noted. Hope we can join in the fun.



Yuki, for cheese block every time u need to use juz shred some from it after that need to keep in freezer or juz chiller? What is the duration we can keep for one block? Thanks [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]



C.Yang, thanks for the url. I still thought of getting those laughing cow and kraft singles. Opps.



Febie, my gal oso got not much interest in tv everything play VCD for her she would only look at those that singing is involved. Once the singing stop, she would turn away immediately.



little lamb, great to know that Nat is fine now. Take care.



Btw mummies, have all ur los starting walking independently? My LO still need pple to hold her and she is 15 mths le [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif]

 
bluey, dun need to worry, two of my neighbors kids both 16 months then walked independently. Some kids are just simply more cautious. I think Arwen only walk independent when she turn 14 and half and that is after seeing other kids walking, she copy one.



Maybe expose your LO to kids who can walk liao and let them play togther?

 
bluey - While it's easy for me to say 'take it easy' when it comes to walking, I do understand your concerns as well. I, personally, took about 16 months to finally learn to walk. In my case, it was the lack of exposure to walk. My mom plonked me in the walker all the time so I wasn't given much opportunities to walk independently. I would like to think it's partial exposure and partial ready-ness when it comes to walking. So, give your LO a little bit more time and a little bit more exposure.



jessie - I offered Nat raisins and she hated it. Hhahaa. Despite countless times, she still doesn't know how to deal with them. And ends up giving to me. :S

 
bluey, yes I keep them in the chiller (0-4deg, similar to the temp at supermarket where they place the cheese block), in a air tight container. I go by the expiry date of the cheese, but usually can finsih 1 block in 3mths coz I use it frequently in adult meals too.



Lamb, it has been v tough on you and you are a great mother. Pat pat and hug hug. It has never been easy to be living overseas while your loved ones in S'pore. Jia you!



Jessie, would rasins be too sweet for our LO? I am giving Chris grapes and he happily eats them using his bb fork. So funny to see him 'chasing' the round grapes in his bowl with his fork.

 
yuki,



Thanks for your encouragements. Frankly ... sometimes, even though it gets really tough over here ... but when I think about going back for good, having to deal with in-laws conflicts, I would very much prefer to stay here. Yesterday, after reading mommies' posts about relationships with their own moms and how they can get their own moms to look after their LOs, I was thinking back about my own mom. Come to think about it, after Nat was born, my mom never really took care of Nat per se. Well, she was around for me for sure. But the actual taking care of Nat is still done by me.



Till today, my mom has yet to prepare meals for Nat, or know her routine etc. Even whenever I am back in Singapore, she'd only be playing with Nat whenever she's awake or when Nat's asleep, my mom would help me to 'babysit' while I head out. And honestly, as tough as it is having to look after Nat on my own, I wouldn't want to have it any other way because my belief is that grandparents should always enjoy their grandchildren and not look after them. Of course if I were to have to work, the whole situation might be different. So while my mom is around to give me emotional support but I do think that ultimately, the whole looking after of Nat thing is still very much on me.

 
Jessie, little lamb, my gal got a few kids n toddlers to play wif her on weekdays n weekend sometimes would play wif neighbor kids as well. In addition, we oso juz sign up the gymboree course for her. Hope it would help. Maybe we must let her practice more. In some part of me, I telling myself it is ok. Juz give her some time. Bt the other part is getting worry.



Yuki, noted thanks would grab once this coming weekend which is so far away.

 
bluey: Emma suddenly sprung into taking a few independent steps last week, though most of the time she prefers to grab our finger with her right hand while walking. I think it might be in the genes at times (them being more cautious abt falling, etc), cuz DH started walking at 14mths too.



She's been improving, but accumulated many knocks and bumps along the way as well.





lamb: when I look at Emma, I know that one day she'll leave me and have her own life. And though it's gonna be hard, that's what parenting is all about: prepare her for the world and let her potential fly high, regardless where it'll take her.



When I look at my mom, she has many unfinished dreams. Though she's trying to catch up now by participating in many activities, it's never the same. Hence when I told her we wanna go to England for Emma's education, she was very supportive, because she loves me, and knows how much I love Emma. No matter how difficult it is for us to be apart, love is what keep us together.



And cuz we're in the same country, we tend to take them for granted at times. Being away from them reminds us how significant moms really are. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]



Lastly... i agree that grandparents' 'job' should be enjoying the grandkids and not look after them if possible. It is already a monumental task for us young moms, it'll be even more taxing for old folks eh.

 
andie>ohh, you plan to relocate to England for Emma's education? Any particular reason why you chose England instead of another country? Also, what about your hubby's job? He can easily relocate there?



bluey>my boy is also not walking independently although he can walk quite well supported. He has actually walked several steps unsupported but once he realised we are not holding him, he'll stop. I'm letting him develop at his own pace first. Think should b ok. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

 
bluey - Since you've done what you can already, the rest is up to your LO, give her time.



andie - My life sometimes revolve so much around Nat that I am not even thinking about the days when she'll leave me. But being in the society we live in today, they'll be leaving us earlier than we can imagine. I see teenagers these days going overseas for attachment programmes etc. Some after studying abroad, dun even come back to Singapore looking for a job already. Family ties will be even more precious in the future generation.

 
Lamb,

U should feel proud of yourself for being able to look after Nat independently. If given a choice, I would prefer to be a SAHM. My mum looks after Chris and I can see the strong bonding btw them. My mum witnessed many first before I do - 1st flip, 1st crawl, 1st walk, 1st sign... He is under a good routine on weekdays but comes weekends, I always upset his routine and sometimes I feel lousy, ask myself how come I can't manage his routine well. So trust me, you are doing a great job. All the mummies here are fantastic and strong [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]



Bluey, haha I am also suffering from monday blues. Miss Chris suddenly and just called home to say 'mummy misses u!'



Andie, u will find Emma walking around in 1-2 wks time. Chris took his 1st step at 14.5mths ago and started running around within 2 weeks.



I learnt to cherish my mum after being a mum myself. She always put Chris and me above herself, makes me feel guilty at times. Even my hubby tells me my mum is great and we should do our best to give her a comfortable life.

 
tyl: DH and I actually shortlisted the usual suspects (Aussie, UK, USA) but chose UK instead.



- Essentially these 3 countries are the same in terms of taxation law.



- For primary school education I'd prefer the UK system cuz for private schools they encourage your child to stay with them and go home on weekends (i.e. weekly boarding). It teaches the child how to be independent though living within a closely-knitted community, and develop critical thinking at a young age (boarding begins at 9yrs old).



- I'm familiar with the laws of UK, and the fact that they're part of the EU makes UK more wary of human rights infringement.



- in terms of employment, DH's company has an office in London, though we are looking to move to Oxford (abt an hr's drive frm London). But we do intend to relocate through UK's entrepreneur scheme. If it doesn't pan out, then it's DH turn to be a SAHD while I work in the legal field. It's not difficult to get a legal job in UK, especially with experience from ASEAN countries. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

 
andie>thanks so much for your sharing. We're seriously looking into moving to the US primarily becos we think Ayden can get more exposure and opportunities there. I intend to put him in an international school there which I won't be able to afford if we stay in SG.



But going there, I would b the main bread-winner and hubby will b a SAHD. Although he said he doesn't mind doing so for 2 years or more till Ayden is ready for school, I think a job is really important for his identity so I'll prob place Ayden in a childcare so that he's free to look for a job. Except the employment situation in the US is not the best so really not sure how difficult it'll be for him to find something...



Situation is now so perplexing, hubby wished I never went for the job interview. :p

 
tyl: no matter what country we move to, beware not to fall into the 'Chinatown' trap. That's where you find that all your neighbours are Chinese and the community is segregated from the others. The sad truth is, many Americans have not traveled elsewhere except within US, thus they are ignorant about many things Asian. If the part of US where you are relocating to is not exactly cosmo, then you really gotta research on where to live, otherwise chances are Ayden is going to grow up in an Asian community within a Western country.



Also research on housekeepers, in case DH changes his mind on working then at least you'll have a backup. Or babysitters within your area. At least he knows he has an option. Sometimes that's all we need: an option, even though we know we wouldn't take it, but it feels good to know it's there.



In UK there are au pairs, i.e. students within the EU looking to study in UK, where they'll stay with you for 6mths to 1yr and look after the kids and house while studying (essentially you sponsor their visa). They can be from France, Romania, Italy, Spain, etc, and the kids they help to take care of get exposed to their culture.





yuki: thanks! looking forward to her walking, she's getting really heavy to carry.

 
TYL and Andie,

I believe it is impt to give our hubby their 'man' identity. Eventhough they say it is alright to stay at home to look the kids for a year or two, deep inside their heart they are struggling with their man ego - how to stay conected with their peers, will their career go down hill after being away from the workforce for a few years, how would their parents and peers perceive them being a SAHD, will the arrangement be irreversible.... The scenario to avoid at the end of the day is the man telling his wife " I have no choice but to be a SAHD for you to fullfill your career dream." And the marriage is affected.



My big boss did share with me his plan to groom me for overseas posting. It has always been my career goal to move out of Singapore and run an overseas hospital. I considered deeply and told him nothing is more impt than my family, my husband and my children. Singapore education is not the most ideal but I gota move my fulcrum to balance the interests of my family, husband, children's education and my career.



Having said that, I have seen couples getting overseas jobs together and happily settling down in their preferred country [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

 
andie>if we move, we're moving to NY so that's definitely cosmopolitan. I'm actually considering staying in Flushing because there are lots of Chinese there and I want him to grow up familiar with the language. But the international school will still give him exposure to friends from different cultures and countries so hopefully, he can have the best of both worlds. Donno lah.



Actually, hubby said he don't mind not working but he's worried if he can really take care of Ayden by himself. :p

 
I find it so interesting. We have mummies like Jessie, CYang and Lamb who are feeling homesick and simultaneously, we are discussing abt relocating overseas [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/happy.gif]

 
yuki>I fully agree with you hence the dilemma we're facing now. Told my hubby we won't go if he's not 100% behind the move but then he feels pressured as if I'm making him decide. [IMG=http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/clipart/sad.gif]

 
TYL, pardon me for sharing my opinion. I could sense some form of hesitation in him while we briefly chatted on Sat. I know it is a tough decision and hope everything turns out well for you.



If we flip the situation, it will be much easier if the man gets the overseas posting and the wife follows be a SAHM. Life where got equality? Haizzz

 


yuki>yes, I know he's still struggling with himself. Think main concern is whether he can take care of Ayden because Ayden can b really difficult at times.



Definitely. If it was the reverse, I think there would be much less agonizing eventhough hubby thinks it'll be the same. Despite all the equality talk, the job is a big part for the men's ego.

 
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