(2009/11) November 2009 MTB


i also havent been washing the dishes like i did when i ate over at my in law place since i preggy but when i was preparing for my wedding .. i also had alot of quarrels with my hubby but not with my in laws anything i wasnt happy with my in laws ends up directed at their son aka my hubby ... even now there still are issues which i will complain to my hubby and i will tell him to settle the issue when im nt around ... its not easy to be in someone's else family (as in not your own parents ..) the reason why your hubby gf seems better to your in law now is because she isnt staying with your in laws .. anyway .. $$ hurts relationships ..
 
so fieda no point being too angry and end up you pain .. altho its easier to say than do .. i still am trying to learn that ..
 
Cool down Fieda. I guess it nots easy living with in-laws. you not intending to have your own house? i guess your MIL is also too much to be comparing your with the brother gf also.
 
The bro gf's mum passed away already while i'm still in the luxury of my mum's care ma. And yes, my hubby is grown up why need all the care taking right? It's like all crap... I'm just quite jaded now and heavily disappointed with him
 
Ya, its not easy to stay together. My relationship with my MIL seems to be better as compare to my SIL cos I'm seeing her once/twice a week. But my SIL is seeing abt 3-4 times a wk, somemore her son is taken care by my MIL.

Fieda, if you are still staying with yr MIL. I think u got to endure. Else, more problems will occur when you give birth.
 
stmama, i was there with my hubby. chubby looking girl. hahaha. i dunno. they told me i have to wait for 2 hours. oh well. it is over.

fieda, i know how you feel. my mil sometimes also hint that i dunno how to do things like doubting that i cant look after my hubby and the house. i just ignore her. if her son is not complaining then why should i be bothered. all mothers are like tat. they hope that their child will be looked after well by their partners and get worried if they feel in any way that it is not happening. maybe his mum realized that she said something that she shouldn't be tatz y she tried to hug and make up? when pple are upset they say all sorts of things. i'm sure ur hubby din mean what he said. he was fustrated too. i am sure he knows u can take good care of him. we are more emotional right now so we may take things harder now.
 
fieda - i agree with sherine ... and you can try to tell ur husband how u feel and remind him to keep you out of his disagreements with your future in laws .. else he outta be shot for bullying a preganant woman ..
 
its always not easy to stay with in laws.. for me, i'm staying wif my parents.. so in my case, u can say that my hubby is staying wif his in-laws.. also not easy cos there will be conflicts.. so i understand how frustrating it is.. sometimes im also stuck between my parents and hubby.. cos my parents always feel tat he cant take care of me.. so u c, it's the same case everywhere.. just need to give in to each other and if possible, control our tempers lor.. after all we're pregnant, not good for baby if we're feeling angry or sad..
happy.gif
 
Fieda:
i'm also staying with my PIL and i'll most be home whole day on sundays(unless we go out).I get very frustrated and emotional EVERY sunday cos she always do things to my daughter which i dun like her doing it.And I always do things which she doesn't agree on as well.She'll just complain to my SIL..but i heck care cos i already tell myslf just to endure and treat her words/actions as er bian feng...(although i know quite hard).And i go to my mother's house everyday except sunday,even if i'm not working.just dun wan to see her so as to have less friction.I fully undestand how u feel as i'm in the same situation as well.But i just tell myself endure endure endure
 
hi, me also staying with PIL...i also never do housework..oni did for our room like alternative sat clean the floor...and every sat wash clothes (mine and some of hubby)...actually i find that we hv to serve our hubby, and yet the mother thinks we hv to "serve" them as well!!!! serving their son already frustrated at times cos guys really bo chap and can sleep until 12noon on weekends while i hv to wake up at 8-9a.m to wash clothes etc....(cos need to catch the sun lo)..sometimes so angry and pissed.... somemore, they expect us to greet them everyday!
 
Rachelle
Of coz it's ok for u to stay put here wit us....since u noe most of us liao ...
Yesh, I would opt for aft 3pm parentcraft classes.

fieda
cool down dear. It's not good for bb. Each time u're angry, take 10 long breathes & relax. Dun question abt getting married, coz it's something that both ur HUb & u have committed yourself too. Quarrels happen ma. Juz that it chose to happen when ur hormones are getting the better of you.
 
Hiaz, the problem with my MIL is she baby her son too much. My hubby will still help out housework kind. Aiya... i really hope my house quickly come. Mine is Punggol Lodge , still building now... sigh.... I already endure alot of blunt remarks fr her liao. I really wonder if her apology is sincere coz it could be purely for her son not being sandwich in between. or maybe for her grandchild.
 
Fieda,
dun think too much into it.. there's bound to be MIL/DIL issue.. it will be worse when bb's out.. due to different child caring beliefs..

on the bright side, it's gd tt she's willing to apologise (be it sincere or not) so that things will be easier for ur hubby... at least ur hubby won't feel sandwiched and won't be tt stressed...

my in laws n I are considered to be those with average/gd relationship.. b4 and aft marriage no conflicts at all.. but the moment my #1 arrives, we got lots of conflicts tt can result in quarrels if not for me controlling my tone.. treat it as being respectful to them or to protect myself.. i will never shout at them.. whenever i talk to them during any conflict issues, i use discussion instead of insisting on doing things my way.. realised tt it's more effective this way as they will eventually give way to my idea since i let them feel that they can hav their say as well...

ohh.. one gd eg was there was once when my MIL called me to discuss abt child caring issues.. den the conversation ended up with her saying that she can't tolerate pple being disrespectful to her etc.. since i always speak to her respectfully, i immediately told her that i have never been disrespectful to her blah blah (which she realised too).. :p n i gained the upperhand to the discussion... :p
 
dear all mtb,
i jus bk frm my oscar test...rather sad like bad news...i went for scanning n it seem bb neck is slightly bigger than average...means probability for down syndrome is higher...but i don u/stand m jus 27 tis yr...haiz...was crying at tat moment...thn went for blood test...my gynae wil c me tonite wif d result...i might hav to go for aminiotest (dunno correct spelling onot)...i rather worry, whn i do scanning i can c bb forming le n it is so big, 7.++cm...i can reali c a bb wif head n etc...so happy but thn whn d scanning result not so gd, i was down....
 
sweetie
*sayang sayang* I tot the ladies here mentioned that the OSCAR test is not 100% accurate. It could be good news when u see gynae tonite. So don't fret too much ya.
 
oscar test is 90% accuracy....thy took my blood n wil combine both n do a calculation....thn depends on d calculation percentage, i might need to go for d aminiotest which is 99% accuracy...i heard it is very painful n i reali worry bout d result...if d result come out to b +ve, wat shld i do???whn i tink bout it i cry again....my tear drop d moment d nurse at TMC told me bout my bb neck!!!
 
Sweetie,
*Hugs*. Don't worry. Even if you are going ahead for the amnio test, I read from article somewhere that a mother did the tests for her 3 kids and the pain is like an ant's bite.
 
Hugs hugs sweetie, i have a frd whose results all pointed to high risk, ie, down syndrome. The wife went thru emotional roller coasters for months. But after the amnoicentesis, it's all false alarm. Baby was born healthy and normal. Of coz there's a part where "wat if" comes into place.
 
but stmama,
i so worry bout d result n oso d bb...
i wanna keep d bb after suffer for 3 mths...
i reali hope my bb is healthy...
i tried not to tink but i cant...
 
Sweetie,
Guess every mums here truely understand how u feel when receiving such news. But don't worry too much now. It could really be a false alarm. The blood test may turn out fine. Find out what the gynae has to say tonight.
 
sweetie:
So heart wrenching to hear this.but dun worry I believe yr bb will be fine.I did not do the test cos hb say he won't abandon the bb no matter wat happens.so I might as well save $.my mother has a fren whose youngest son has DS.but they doted on him too.and with the fact that this son has brought luck to the family since he was born.the family used to be quite poor but after having this son,everything goes smoothly for the family and now they are quite rich.the son even have a girlfriend now.it's considered a blessing in disguise for he family.
 
saintbaby, *hugs*

fieda, dun think too much about her "motives" ok. our hormones are not stable now so we tend to think too much and some times it may not be what we thought it is. after all she has already apologized. it takes alot for an elder to apologize to the junior.

sweetie, wait for ur gynae's appt tonight. dun worry too much abt it. some times it has nothing to do with age. my grandma gave birth to a down syndrome son and tat was her first child. but the subsequent 7 children came out ok. as you said, it is slightly higher. maybe combined with ur blood test it will level out? *hugs*
 
tks all for d support....i read a lot in d forum n a lot was saying oscar test is a false alarm..thn now m wondering if it so, y d accuracy is 90% so high???n make every1 so worry!!!esp me....arghhh...yahyah wil b going for gynae earlier than appt...n wil let u gals knw...pray hard for my bb!!!
 
btw, jus to check wif u al, whn i did d scanning tis morning, bb seem not moving sleeping only...but i tot d oscar scan some of u say need to hav bb movement??d nurse asked me to cough n whn bb move a bit is ok..but nurse say bb is in correct position...so y some of u need to walk up n down to wake bb up??m so curious...y my bb is so inactive??
 
sweetie. *hugs* dun think of the worst case possible first. (translate this to chinese) when the boat reaches the end of the bridge, it will eventually go straight. whatever the outcome, there will be a solution. dun worry yourself silly first. else if good news when u see doc, then u will think back n laugh at yourself for having worried yourself sick. =)
 
wow zentan, d boy wif ds had gf??for me, i more worry whn future who gonna takecare of my bb...ds child wil b look down by oters...n in tis cruel society, its hard for them to live...
 
sweetie, my bb was also sleeping in the right position so the scan was very smooth. some have to move and wake bb up coz in the wrong position then cannot see. the doc told me their record was 7 hours before bb move into the right position.
 
oic...okok more relieve...i stil tot bb so inactive so it is due to DS...scare me!!!now it seem time pas so slow....anoter 4 hrs...i wanna b d 1st to b in d clinic else i gotta wait for 1-2 hrs...
 
my morning sickness is still there....arggrrrhghhghg....when will it go away!

i have been drinking ginger tea/eating ginger slice, guava slice, prunes also no use...

this morning after mrt ride, vomitted after....so sian
 
sweetie, my oscars scan, bb wasnt moving too. then hor... the person who did the scan (not my gynea cos he's on leave) actually jabbed the ultrasound scanner at my tummy to make bb change position. as if creating an earthquake. poor bb was thrown around in the tummy. saw bb on the screen. argh!! till now i m still so upset with that person for having done that.
 
sweetie, the scan alone is only 70% accurate, which means that there's 30% chance that the baby is alright. and sometimes there could be mis-judgement. the blood test alone is 80%. combined both together and with your current age, the accuracy is at 90%. but the overall result would not give you a confirm answer too. it'll only indicate whether you are high risk or low risk category and low risk is not equal to NO RISK. just wait for the blood test and see how. maybe all will turn out to be alright without going for invasive test. if not, there's still anmio with about 0.5% to 1% risk and with current technology, your pregnancy would be in good hands.

i know it's difficult to face it. i've been through some thinking when my gynae counselled me on my ultimate intention of going through the DS test. for me, i questioned myself if i'm willing and prepared to go accept a DS child and my answer is no. ultimately, you have to ask yourself whether you're willing to keep the baby if the amnio turns out negative. there's a lot of factors to consider such as future living expenses, medical expenses, caregiver, etc. but in the meantime, just take one step at a time.
 
i oso dunno whthr i stil wanna keep d bb is d result is -ve n i am in dilemma....d fact is i cant accept a DS child but in anoter way, i feel it bad not to wan d bb if he/she is DS...its like a sin to kil a life...haiz....now i jus an wait wait wait....keep telling myself n telling bb to b good n healthy!!!
 
sweetie, it must be really tough on you when hubby not around. I know it's hard not to worry. If all results point to bad things, you still got an amniocentesis for the final ans means still got last bit of hope.

Jolene, i'm at 603C #6 haha.
 
sweetie, think over carefully. discuss the possible options with your hubby, close family members and friends. they'll be the ones with a great source of support to you. Follow your heart. Whatever decision you made, don't ever look back. As for now, tell yourself that the baby IS normal and healthy. as i mentioned earlier, the scan is not 100% accurate.
 
hmz erm sweetie - well erm wait for the blood test result bah .. it might not be bad maybe because ur bb is bigger only .. erm you how many weeks le >
 
sweetie: dont worry so much k?

one of my ex colleague was sharing tt her gynae oso told her tt her #1 have high risk of down syndrome but he was born pretty smart instead..
 


sweetie - walking up and down then my bb got "action" abit .. and its erm quite tiring .. u should be glad u didnt have to do so to get the correct position ..
 
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